When It Comes
by gooseles
Summary: Married and dumped all before his 17th birthday, future NBA success and a new love were the only way to reclaim his life and mending his broken heart. What happens when a ghost from the past is the only thing between heartbreak and happiness? COMPLETED!
1. Every Rose Has Its Thorn

The clock said there were less than two seconds left. They were past half court. Nathan was being double teamed, no triple teamed. Where the hell were his guys? There was nowhere to go and the distinct tick of the clock matched the even, pounding rhythm of his heart.

"Shoot the ball, Nathan!"

It was Lucas. Nathan could hear his brother yelling from the stands. So he bent his knees and went for it. Nearly 30 feet away and it would have taken a miracle for that ball to make it into the hoop. It seemed to travel in slow motion and Nathan, drained, the weight of the world on his shoulders as millions watched with bated breath, sank to his knees. The ball sailed through the air seemingly directed right at the net and then in the cruelest twist of fate, it bounced against the rim and backboard before landing with a thud on the floor. The crowd gasped. The opposing players cheered. His teammates looked crushed.

So close yet so far. Almost didn't count. It was a game made of dreams. Nathan Scott, the golden boy and heavily praised rookie NBA superstar, first round draft pick out of Duke University, had the chance to win the game. It was up to him to secure a win for the underdog baby Charlotte Bobcats franchise. He had the opportunity to be the hero. But he had failed.

The arena was going nuts. Champagne flowed and sports reporters from ESPN and TNT clamored to get interviews with the newly crowned NBA champs. No one wanted to talk to Nathan Scott. It was funny how no one ever wanted to interview the losers.

Nathan looked up in the stands. Poor Lucas whose championship run with The Philadelphia 76ers had been thwarted by the very little brother he had spent the night cheering for, looked on the verge of tears. He had wanted that win for Nathan badly. He wanted it for his little brother more than he wanted it for himself. He didn't want Nathan to have to endure another disappointment. Lucas had been the overprotective older brother for years now. Ever since "it" had happened at the end of junior year at Tree Hill High School. Ever since the unfortunate event that had nearly destroyed Nathan Scott's life.

His father. Boy did Dan looked pissed. But what else was new? Whether it was Little League baseball, the State championships of high school basketball or the NBA title, to Dan Scott, losing was losing. There never was second place. Runners up were just a polite term for losers. And Dan had no time for losers. And even in victory, the win was never enough. Dan would always be there to challenge, to critique. To gloat and pick away. To express how he could have done it better.

Deb. The mother he had shared a tumultuous relationship with over the years. At times it had been bitter and distant. At best it was cordial. But she loved him with all her heart. Nathan knew that and he loved her, too. He always had, still a part of him loved her a lot less because of what she had done to him junior year. He had needed her support after Dan's heart attack. They had needed Deb. They expected it. But her rage and disappointment turned out to reign most prevalent. In the end, his mother had been right. Still Nathan resented her for not seeing what he saw in the beginning.

And then he saw her. He looked up right into a pair of blue eyes that seemed to know exactly what he was thinking and feeling. Megan Powell was her name. They had met in college at a bar. He was on his way to wild frat party where the brothers had promised him a night of a neverending booze supply and all the girls he could imagine. White girls, Black girls, Mixed girls, Latin girls, Asian girls, Middle Eastern girls…it didn't matter. They'd all be there and Nathan Scott would have his pick. Hell, he could have two or three at once if his heart so desired. It was every college kid's dream and right up Nathan's alley. He was on his way to all that but first he had stopped off for a beer at his favorite hole in the wall bar. And she had been there.

They talked. He flirted. But she didn't buy into that star athlete charm. But she was funny and nice and very pretty. He dug blondes anyway and Megan was a knockout. He liked her. He actually liked talking to her. The thought of getting her in bed had never crossed his mind. He just enjoyed her company. He enjoyed it so much that they spent the entire night just talking until they had closed the place down. Nathan Scott had missed his wild, drunken orgy and he didn't even care.

It was funny how quickly she got to him. He couldn't believe that he let her in. He had only let one other female in like that and it had cost him dearly. He had been burned. Even years later it was hard to speak her name or say what she had done. So in memory she had remained nameless and her actions were referred to as "it" or the "incident". She had hurt him bad. Worse than anything he had ever imagined. She came into his life unexpectedly. She changed him. She made him fall in love. She married him when they were both only 16. She promised to love him forever. Forever turned out to last only eight months. It was then that she left him behind. She left him for a fresh start in New York. She left him to pursue a musical career. She left him for another man.

Overnight the bad boy of Tree Hill, North Carolina had returned. Nathan Scott, evil and selfish who cared about no one or nothing. He was on a dangerous downward spiral, destination rock bottom. His friends and family had tired to help but they couldn't. No one could reach him except for the one he had given his heart and last name to. And she was gone. If it hadn't been for his brother and the love of basketball, Nathan might have died. Lucas saved him. The game had saved him.

Nathan remained on his knees in that spot for hours. Past the other team's victory celebration, past the trophy ceremony, past the janitors who swept and mopped around him. He couldn't move. He was like a tree planted by the water.

"Hey you."

"Hey", he said quietly.

"Tough night, huh?"

"I fucked up, Meg."

She rubbed his aching shoulder.

"No you didn't. It just happened, Nate. That's life. It just wasn't meant to be. Tonight wasn't your night. But you have nothing to be ashamed of. You played your ass off in high school and college. You have all these titles and decorations and trophies. You're respected. And you're an NBA star. Charlotte, a team who last season didn't have a prayer of even reaching the bottom seed of the playoffs, recruited you. And you saved them, baby. You and you alone brought them within an inch of a championship ring."

"But I didn't. I couldn't pull it off."

"There's always next year but you have nothing to be ashamed of. You should be proud. You gave everything. The fans and your team and your coaches and your family love and respect you. And so do I. Come on, Nathan", she offered her hand. "Let's go home."

He just looked at her for a moment before finally moving. God, she was like a real life angel. Always there for him no matter what. He loved her and he needed her…more than he needed to breathe. That was just another reminder. One more reason why he had swallowed his pride and confronted his fears. He had asked her to marry him. Megan was worthy to wear his ring. She loved him. She would never hurt him and more importantly, she would never leave him.

"I love you", he whispered, taking her tiny hand and pulling up.

"Let's go home, eat lots of raw cookie dough, turn off all the phones so we won't have to deal with your dad, make lots of love and just hang out."

"That doesn't sound too bad. It is my off season now."

"From basketball but don't forget, you have a wedding to plan."

"I'd never forget that", he smiled.

He leaned down and kissed her. Her love, her support, her helping hands is what had seen him through. The darkest days were over. Megan had helped him learn to love again. She saved his soul when lost love had nearly destroyed it.

"I love you, Nate. I mean that. Always remember that, baby", she said, looking deep in his eyes.

Nathan smiled as he held her tight. Of course he knew she meant it.

"I love you, too."

And so did he.


	2. Two Sides To Every Story

She took a long breath before taking the last sip of hot lemon tea. More than soothing her vocals, it calmed her nerves as well. And she needed it. The butterflies were always there right before any performance. She had been a successful musician for almost seven years but every time she took to a stage, she still felt the anxiety and fear of an insecure rookie.

"Two minutes, Ms. James", the director's assistant whispered in her ear.

"Thanks", she nodded.

Her heart pounded as she walked onto the darkened set and took her familiar place behind the piano. Her band members smiled and winked at her, letting her know they were ready. Immediately she felt at ease. The two guitarists, drummer and back up singers had been with her for the duration. That was just the kind of girl Haley was. She was loyal. The same folks that had begun that magical musical journey with her years before were the same ones who had remained with her during her success.

It certainly wasn't the biggest stage she had ever performed on yet it was just as important. It was the season finale of Saturday Night Live. Of all the musical acts that could have been asked to perform, Haley James had been chosen. It was an honor and a privilege.

"Ladies and gentleman…Haley James."

The live audience cheered and the spotlight fell upon her. Her hands found the keys and she began to play with ease. It was an original song she had written years and years before but had just released on her third album.

_It's October again,  
Leaves are coming down,  
One more year's come and… gone, _

_And nothing's changed at all,  
Wasn't I,  
Supposed to be someone _

She was familiar with the song, being that she had composed the lyrics and music but it was something about the way it made her feel. Now matter how many times she had to sing it, no matter where she was, it took her back to a moment in time. A different era of her life back when she was someone else.

_Let me feel, _

_I don't care if I break down,  
Let me fall,  
Even if I hit the ground,_

So often when she played, she kept her eyes closed. It was habit. It was because she was feeling the power of the music. At first, the critics had slammed her for it. Then they relaxed a little bit when they came to recognize and respect that she was truly gifted. At 17, opening her second tour with the release of a freshman album, the shy, pretty girl with the contagious smile and the dark auburn hair, was a real talent. She wasn't about the Britney Spears flashy vocals, or the oversexed look of Christina Aguilera or the commercial ditziness of Jessica Simpson. She was simply Haley. A nice girl from a small town with a big voice. For Haley, it was and always would be about the music.

_And if I, _

_Cry a little,_

_Die a little,_

_At least I know I lived,_

Haley opened her eyes. Because of the lighting it was hard to see into the crowd but a man seated in the far left corner caught her eye. He was a mere stranger, a fan who had just come to enjoy the show. She had never seen him before but his eyes…his eyes were haunting. There was just something about blue eyes. Their piercing iciness went all over her.

Sometimes on stage or on a plane or at a restaurant or even in the comfort and privacy of her own loft apartment, she would swear those eyes were staring at her. She could feel them and it would cause her pulse to quicken. Sometimes it really was like he was there but of course he wasn't.

She hadn't seen him in years. Of course she had seen his beautiful face on magazine covers and in newspapers and all over television but she hadn't seen him face to face since that night. That night. God, she remembered it like it was yesterday.

_Just a little  
I've become much too good,  
At being invincible,  
I'm an expert,  
I play it safe and keep it cool _

_But I swear,  
This isn't who I'm meant to be, _

_I refuse to let my life roll over me, _

She'd had a dream. From the time she was a cute little tyke hamming it up with a hairbrush for a microphone in her parents' bathroom mirror, Haley James had had a dream. She had the voice but there was little else. Opportunity wasn't much in Tree Hill, North Carolina and she was too shy, too self conscious to sing for anyone other than her family and best friend, Lucas Scott.

Then her world had been turned upside down. She had began tutoring Lucas' brother. The rich, snobby, cocky, sinister brother who enjoyed torturing her friend. She had done it to protect Lucas but two things happened no one ever could have imagined. The brothers developed a friendship and bond…and Haley fell in love.

What is better or more liberating than young love? And she adored him with all her heart and soul. She loved his laugh and the way he smiled when he answered a math problem correctly. She loved to watch him play basketball and she loved walking down the halls of high school on his arm. She loved the way he let her in like he did no one else. Yes, she loved him. She loved him enough to be impulsive and totally out of character and actually tattoo his jersey number across her lower back. Maybe it wasn't the wisest move but she didn't care. Logic was irrelevant. She was in love and even if it didn't last a lifetime, if in 20 years she could look in the mirror and see the number 23, maybe it would remind her of that euphoric feeling she had felt at age 16.

He loved her, too. He loved her enough to propose to her when they were still high school juniors. He was emancipated from his parents, living alone in an apartment that he struggled to pay the rent for. Once the shock wore off, she realized that she wanted to be his wife so they had asked her parents for permission, to sign the release allowing a 16 year old girl to wed legally. Any other parents would have laughed, cried, or slapped the hell out of their kids but not Jim and Lydia James. They were weird souls, two former flower children who loved each other and just believed in the power of love itself. They had raised six kids together and trusted the judgement and opinions of every one of them. Well, every one except Taylor but that was a different story.

_Let me feel,_

_I don't care if I break down,_

_Let me fall,  
Even if I hit the ground,_

_And if I,  
Cry a little,_

_Die a little,  
At least I know I've lived  
Just a little,_

Gosh, she remembered that day like it was yesterday. She got up, studied for an Algebra quiz, had oatmeal and orange juice for breakfast, then drove to Wrightsville Beach with her parents so she could get married. Haley was a wife before she was a high school senior.

It had been great at first. It was fun. Her husband was the first person she had sang for outside of Lucas, her mother and father, and brothers and sisters. He loved her voice. He believed in her. He encouraged her to pursue it. He even took extra shifts at his job to buy her a keyboard so she could compose at home. And when Lucas' mother, Karen, Haley's café boss and own surrogate mom opened up an all ages club, it was her husband who arranged to have her sing in front of her first audience.

They loved her. They cheered for her. They wanted more. And then she had met Chris. A skinny, arrogant kid with a guitar always strapped on his back and a smirk always plastered to his face. Chris Keller believed in Haley's talent, too. He wasn't always exactly nice about it but he helped. After years of a dead end job in a local music store and playing on the underground circuit, he had made a few connections here and there.

Together they wrote songs and played sets and worked on the music. He helped her with her range and vocals and writing. He gave her confidence. He booked a few shows for her. He was her friend. Then he wanted more. Much more. Flirty comments, not so subtle touches that led to a forbidden kiss. A kiss that she briefly returned. A kiss she regretted instantly. A kiss that didn't stop the working relationship.

It was the beginning of the end for her marriage. Her husband yelled at her, pleaded with her, cried to her, tried to reason with her and convince her that she didn't need Chris. Chris was coming between them but Haley didn't see it that way. Her heart was with her husband but it was with the music too. And she connected with Chris in a way that she could never connect with Nathan.

When Chris left town for a New York showcase, life returned to normal. Too normal. When he left it was as if her dreams went along with him. Then the spark was reignited when The Wreckers came to perform at Tric. Their surprise opening act was Chris Keller. Haley would never forget the way she felt that night when they sang. She wanted to be a part of that world more than anything. Maybe she was only good enough for Friday nights at Tric…or maybe she was worth more. Maybe she could be a real singer. She had to find out and Michelle Branch gave her that opportunity.

_I wanna be somebody,  
Who can face the things that I've been running from  
Let me feel,  
I don't care if I break down_

She could go on a national tour. Chances like that didn't come along too often. And haley wanted bad. She wanted it for herself. But her husband didn't understand. He told her if she left, they were done. It was the cruellest of ultimatums but she left. She didn't choose Chris or even the music over Nathan. She simply made a choice for herself.

The fans loved her, the record companies loved her, critics loved her, and fellow musicians loved her. It happened so fast. Two opening tours, an album, a chance to headline her own tour. She went from playing clubs to arenas to stadiums. Then came the second album. Her life was busy and it should have been a happy time. But her husband was gone. The Scott marriage was broken beyond repair and what good was the fame and success if she couldn't share it with him?

In his heart, he felt abandoned and betrayed. He thought she had chosen Chris over him. But Chris was never a factor. He had continued to try to be with her, a few times he'd even tried to take her to bed but in all the years, Haley never let it get that far. He was nothing more than a musical mentor and they had remained friends over time. She wasn't interested in Chris and as far as she was concerned, she was still Nathan's wife…even when the annulment papers arrived.

He wanted to erase their union completely, pretend it never happened. It killed her inside but she knew she had to let him go. He was already gone anyway. There was nothing left to save. So she signed them and they were over. Done. Just like that. And all of a sudden the beautiful, talented, popular, multi platinum recording artist was alone. Her siblings were scattered about the country busty with their own lives. Her wacky parents were cruising about in their motor home, experiencing one adventure after another. And New York City was a far cry from Tree Hill.

She left without saying good bye to anyone. The decision would forever haunt her. They never forgave her for that. Over the years she had lost touch with Brooke Davis completely. She and Peyton Sawyer e-mailed and phone chatted a few times a year but the most devastating loss, next to Nathan had been Lucas. Her whole life he had been her rock and support but blood was truly thicker than water. Lucas would never admit it, but he had taken Nathan's side. He and Haley hadn't talked in ages and she hadn't seen him in over three years, not since that awkward meeting they'd had when he came to one of her Raleigh concerts.

The song was almost over. It was funny how those blue eyes made so many memories come flooding back.

_Even if I hit the ground,  
_

_And if I,_

_Cry a little,_

_Die a little,_

_At least I know I lived… _

_It's October again, _

_Leaves are coming down, _

_One more year's come and gone, _

_And nothing's changed at all._

As usual, the audience applauded.

"Thank you very much", she said into the mic.

The show went to commercial and Haley headed to the back, relieved and satisfied, yet exhausted.

"Nice work, James."

"Glad to have your approval", she grinned.

"I said it was nice, not grand or anything. But you've come a long way and I have no problem taking full credit for that. You can repay me by taking me out for a late dinner. Show is over in 20 minutes. What do you say?"

"What do you think I say?" she smiled. "You're all charm. I'll pick up the tab but the next one is on you, Keller."


	3. All That She Wants

Nathan stretched and yawned softly, briefly looking at the sleeping blonde beside him. She stirred as he moved but quickly resettled herself into peaceful slumber. It was morning and probably early although Nathan had no intention of checking a clock. He had never been known as an early riser but too many things weighed in heavily on his mind.

His shoulder ached. Nothing huge or career threatening but just enough to be annoying and worrisome. And his heart ached too. Over and over, he took that shot in his head. Just a little more to the left. Just two more inches and he would have been the hero.

He looked down at Megan. She was so beautiful. He liked the fact that she was always beautiful, even without trying. Her face was always refreshingly the same whether they were waking up, going to bed, or out for the evening. Nathan liked that. He had war stories from the past…the most gorgeous women you could imagine. Nathan would bed them and wake up in the morning literally next to a hideous stranger. It was like going to bed with Olivia Newton John and waking up next to Elton John. Once the heavy make up and fancy hair products diminished, the "real" person would be exposed.

But not Megan. Megan was a natural beauty. Nathan loved natural beauty. He loved to watch her sleep. It was a habit he had acquired years before. Once upon time there had been another natural beauty who slept so peacefully nestled in his embrace. But that was a lifetime ago. At times he could barely remember it and at times the memory was all too clear. Nevertheless, he could not and would not allow himself to think of it. He couldn't think about her.

Sighing, Nathan eased out of bed careful not to wake Meg. He slipped on the comfy, white terrycloth robe provided by the luxury hotel. Stepping onto the room's terrace, Nathan stared out at white sandy beaches and crystal clear blue water. Hawaii was a place of serene beauty. He had always loved the island and it was one of his few happy early childhood memories. It was like an escape for him and he definitely had needed to get away. His widely successful rookie season had ended with unexpected disappointment. As always, his shortcomings rang loudly in Nathan's ears and he was desperate to hear something else.

Taking a seat, he breathed in the fresh ocean air. On the table was a bridal magazine. Nathan flipped through it. He smiled at the familiar handwriting that had neatly penned several notes in the margins. He couldn't wait to marry her. He couldn't wait to be with her. Just two more months. Eight whole weeks. There would be a grand church wedding, a two and a half week honeymoon in Europe, then the second season would start.

That's why Nathan had needed an immediate vacation. Being with Megan was wonderful but the stress of planning a wedding wasn't so fun. And career wise, Nathan was haunted by talks of a trade. He didn't know how to feel about that. Charlotte was not considered a top notch team but in one year, they had turned that all around. Nathan liked his team mates and respected the coaching staff. The salary along with several endorsements was wonderful. It was nice to have something that was his own, that he worked for. It was nice to have something that didn't come from Dan Scott.

The trade could come at anytime and it could land him anywhere. He and Megan had discussed it at length. She smiled and told him she would follow him anywhere. Anywhere could be Los Angeles to Miami to Chicago to Vancouver. All of the above and several other teams had been mentioned. Just not New York. Please not New York. Anywhere but New York. Nathan had nothing against the Knicks but there were other personal reasons involved. Before every game at the Garden, he would end up throwing up before warm ups. It was a long shot but still a possibility that he would see her. Her face might be in the crowd or God forbid she could be hired to sing the National Anthem.

Nathan wasn't ready for that yet. He wasn't ready to face her. He had seen her over the years on television and in print but being in her physical presence was a whole new deal. He didn't know if he could ever see her again. He hated her. He hated her because he loved her so much. During the happy times, that love had been a magical, powerful force of bliss that sustained them. And in the bad times and its aftermath, that force had become a beast born of deep rooted insanity.

"Hey you."

Nathan jumped as Megan snaked her arms around you.

"Meg. I didn't hear you get up. Did I wake you?"

"I rolled over and you weren't there."

"I needed some air."

She smiled as he pulled her onto his lap and kissed her lips.

"Since when did Nathan Scott become a fan of Modern Bride?" Megan laughed as she noticed him reading her magazine.

"It ain't Sports Illustrated but hey. Besides, it's important to you so it's important to me."

Megan grinned as she ran her hands through his rumpled hair. On the outside was a tough and arrogant exterior but he let her in. Inside, was a lovable, goofy twinkie with a heart of gold.

"I just have a few more finishing touches. Stuff with the dresses and all. Your mom is taking care of the menu and music and flowers and things…"

"God help us all", he rolled his eyes.

"Nathan Daniel!" she playfully punched him. "Deb has actually been a godsend. There is so much to do and I don't know what I would have done without her and my mom."

"That's because she loves you almost as much as I do. But hey, if it gets too overwhelming, why don't you come to me? Talk to me. Let me help."

Megan laughed out loud.

"I appreciate it baby but you had enough on your plate. I know your first NBA season was important. It was a lot of stress and hard work."

"True but that's over now. I am all yours."

"Mmmm", she moaned, kissing his lips. "I like the sound of that. Everything is pretty much under control. You make sure all your groomsmen get their fittings on time and the only thing left is for you to be at the church on time in about eight weeks."

"Wouldn't miss it."

"You better not. I'll be the one in the white dress. I don't think you could miss me."

"The beautiful one with the big smile? Nah. I think I'll be able to find you."

"Good because I can't wait to officially be Mrs. Nathan D. Scott. For better or worse, for richer or poorer."

"I think we're pretty cool on the rich and poor part and as log as I have you, life will always be better. I think the 'worse' means surviving holidays and special occasions with my parents. Especially Dad."

"They're not so bad. Besides, I'm not afraid of Dan Scott. I think his bark is far worse than his bite."

"You're pretty amazing, you know that?"

"Yeah? And you're not so bad yourself."

He kissed her again and just held her, enjoying the peace and silence as they watched the crashing waves. Deep down inside there had been fear and anxiety. Nathan Scott, the cocky champion had been scared shitless to take that plunge. It was something he hadn't admitted to Lucas or even himself. He was apprehensive. What if _it_ happened again? There was always that possibility, one so desolate that it was almost impossible to fathom, that _it _might happen again.

Whenever those feelings crept into the back of Nathan's mind, all he had to do was look in a pair of blue eyes similar to his own. In them he saw love and truth and trust. Megan would be there through the thick and thin, good and bad. And she didn't care about money or fame or Dan and Deb Scott's meddling. And this time around there would be no Chris Kellers to swoop in and ruin it all. Meg didn't want any of that. All she wanted, was Nathan.


	4. 251 Nights

"Gosh, are you still here?"

"What?" Chris shrugged. "Is that anyway to talk to your friend? I'm just hanging out. Besides, you young lady seriously need to go grocery shopping."

Haley rolled her eyes as she snatched a bag of Tortilla chips from his grip.

"I wouldn't need to go shopping if you weren't always over here eating me out of house and home."

"You know you love me."

"What I love are my new black sandals which are all of a sudden MIA? Have you seen them?"

"Nope."

"Chris, come on. Help. I'm having lunch with Jessica Harp and I don't want to be late."

"Relax, James. They're over by the hall closet. And I can't leave yet. My manager called and said they are showing an interview with me on one of those music channels. I just can't figure out which one."

"Well, if you hurry along, oh let's say, like now, then you might be able to catch it. You know at your apartment."

"Nah. I might miss the first part. Haley, come on. This won't take long. And it's just Jessica. She won't care if you're a few measly minutes late."

Haley sighed. In all the years one thing had not changed…Chris Keller's stubbornness.

"Fine. Ten minutes but that's it. I mean it, Chris. I really have to go."

"Okay, okay", he said as he relaxed on the leather sofa and flipped through the channels.

Haley rummaged through her handbag while Chris searched for his interview.

"Dude, you seriously need to invest in TiVo…"

And then she heard it. Flipping from Fuse to MTV to VH1, somehow Chris had skimmed upon ESPN. On Sports Center, Haley heard a voice she would recognize anywhere.

"Next…"

"Change it back!" she practically yelled.

Chris sighed and followed her instructions grudgingly.

"_Nathan Scott, the talented young rookie out of Duke has a bright future in the NBA although it remains to be seen if his enormous talents will keep him with the Bobcats. There have been talks of a trade and everyone is interested from Seattle to New York…"_

New York! Haley's heart skipped a beat.

"…_It was a devastating loss for Charlotte in the last few seconds of the championship but what an amazing season for the young Scott. This talented young man certainly has nothing to be ashamed of. We look forward to seeing where the day will take him in his sophomore season. Until then, Scott plans to spend his time off readying himself for the end of summer wedding he has planned with his long time college girlfriend."_

Haley felt her knees buckle. Wedding? What wedding? No one had informed her of any wedding. But then again, who would? Her ties to Tree Hill weren't exactly strong. She hadn't spoken to Peyton in over six months and as much as she had hoped, an out of the blue catch up phone call from Lucas was highly unlikely. Of course she would find out about Nathan's wedding like the rest of the world…on television.

"You okay?"

"What? Oh yeah. Fine", she shrugged with a nervous, fake smile.

Chris shook his head. He saw right past the façade. Haley was visibly bothered. There was still a connection to a man she had been married to so briefly so many years ago. Even though it hurt Chris' ego that Haley had never wanted him, he was secretly glad the marriage to Nathan hadn't worked out. He was nothing more than an arrogant jock with no respect for Haley's talent. She was just another trophy in the Scott showcase. Chris was glad the annulment had gone through.

"You still miss him, don't you?"

"Who?" Haley asked casually, adding the back hook to her earring.

"Nathan", Chris rolled his eyes.

"I don't think about it. It was a long time ago. Nathan and I are done and we have been for a while now. I'm glad he's getting married. I hope he'll be very happy."

It was funny how the brain could manipulate the mouth into saying one thing when the heart was feeling something totally different. Of course she missed him. Of course she still thought of him. She didn't want to but it couldn't be helped. And how could she not?

Nathan Scott was her first kiss, her first love, her first lover, her first husband. He was the first man to see her naked or tell her she was pretty. They had been best friends. They were each other's family. She had loved him enough to marry him.

When Haley closed her eyes and thought hard enough, she could see herself on that beach. She could smell the air and hear the waves. She could feel the nerves bunching up inside. Nathan had looked so handsome in his suit. She could hear his words so plain and so loud it was as if he were standing next to her in the loft.

"**_Someday, this beach might wash away…the oceans may dry…the sun could dim but on that day, I'll still be loving you. Always and forever. I promise you Haley."_**

As far as she knew, the beaches were still in tact. The ocean was far from drying up. The sun was shining brighter than ever. After all that happened. After all the years. After what she had done, Haley wondered if a small part of him was still loving her.

"_**I Haley, take you Nathan to have and to hold, from this day forward…"**_

She had and held him for exactly 251 nights…

"_**In sickness and in health…"**_

Like any typical man, he was such a helpless baby when he got sick. Haley had to do everything for him. He'd gotten the flu just a few months into the marriage. The memory was still fresh and oh so sweet of spoon feeding him homemade chicken broth.

"_**For richer or poorer…"**_

They never made it to the "richer" part. How could they? They were just a couple of high school juniors trying to keep a marriage afloat with two minimum wage jobs and a whole lot of love. But the "poorer" was definitely there. Ramen noodles was the entrée of choice via price and convenience. If not for the mercy of Karen and the café, that might have gone hungry a couple of nights. There were times when it was barely enough to pay the rent and bills. It was during those times Haley would break out her old and battered guitar, the one desperately in need of tuning and she would strum and sing to him.

_Even though we ain't got money_

_I'm so in love with ya honey_

_Everything will bring a chain of love_

_In the mornin' when I rise_

_Bring a tear of joy to my eyes_

_And tell me everything's gonna be all right_

And he would look at her and smile. And everything was right with the world.

"_**For better or worse…"**_

Better was the good times. And there were plenty. For the most part, it was great. Those short months were some of the happiest of Haley's life. Worse was Dan and Deb. They hated her. Like scavengers, they waited with drooling anticipation for the marriage to dissolve and like vultures, they would be there in the end to pick up the broken pieces. They bet on Nathan and Haley's failure. And they had failed.

"_**I promise, that I will love and cherish you…"**_

And she had. More than anything.

"_**And will deny all those that would come between us…"**_

She hadn't. That had been Haley's only mistake. She wanted the music so bad but it had come in the form of Chris. She had made that vow to never let anyone come between them. Chris Keller had. She could have stopped it but her wanting and love and need for the music was way too powerful. Even more powerful than she was.

"_**I make this promise for eternity…"**_

Eternity. 252 days, 251 nights, 9 hours, 36 minutes, 20 seconds. That was their eternity. Six months later, he had served her with annulment papers.

"_**I promise that I will keep forever…"**_

That part was true…at least for her. The promise would always live on in a special place in her heart.

"_**Till death do us part…"**_

She swore nothing but death could keep her from him but she had been wrong. It was a force perhaps greater than death.

"Dude, where's your bottled water?"

His voice snapped her back into reality. For a moment she forgot about their friendship, his mentoring and all that he had done for her. For a split second, her brown eyes flashed with anger and all she saw was a reason, a cause, a motive. She saw the man who had ruined her marriage. She saw why she had lost Nathan in the first place. She saw why Nathan was preparing to marry someone else.

"Chris, you have to leave."

"Haley, I was just…

"No, dude, I'm serious. Now. Right now."

"Alright", he said, looking a little more than hurt. "It's cool. I guess I'll see you later."

She nodded and closed the door behind him. It would take a minute but she would be alright. The pain and memories would soon pass like a night's sailing ship. Nathan Scott would once again retreat to that hidden place deep within her being and she could go back to her life. She could go back to being Haley James.


	5. Here Come The Brides

"Honeymooning in Europe is a fabulous idea", Deb squealed. "You're going to love Italy and especially France."

"I can't wait. Nathan and I are so excited. I've been to Europe once before but it was backpacking though England with my cousins. I think this will be much more fun."

"The shopping will be to die for and let me warn you in advance to be careful about all the delicious French food. My God, I don't know how the women maintain their figures. But with romantic villas and actually staying in a Scottish castle, I doubt you and Nathan will have much time for shopping or eating", Deb winked.

"I was hoping to squeeze in time for museums and literature and architecture but…you're probably right", Meg squealed.

"Oh please", Dan scoffed. "Deb, please don't corrupt the poor girl. There will be plenty of time for shopping and eating and newlywed sex. It's nice to have someone in the family who actually cares about history and culture."

Megan smiled as she caught a smirking Nathan rolling his eyes in the background. He hated the family visits to Tree Hill and loved the escape of their home in Charlotte but Deb had insisted they come down to discuss the latest wedding plans. Nathan spent his time sulking in a corner counting down the minutes until they could leave. Megan, ever the trooper, pulled up a chair and could spend all day entertaining the future in laws. He didn't know how she did it, especially when she wasn't faking it. However she pulled it off, he admired and appreciated it. And he would make it up to her when they returned home. He always did.

"I'm so glad you decided to go to with the ice sculpture as the centerpiece and…"

"Ice sculpture?" Nathan frowned.

"Oh honey, it's really beautiful. You'll see", Deb smiled.

He just shook his head.

"You were right, Deb. The champagne fountain really wouldn't look right without it."

Nathan rolled his eyes. Talk of sculptures and fountains was ridiculous and uninteresting. Besides, he had a feeling none of that had been Megan's idea. It was too corny, cliché and cheesy. The three C's, he liked to call them. But Nathan had a trick up his sleeve of his own. Upon leaving the church for the reception and leaving the reception for the honeymoon, they would not take the usual route in the standard limousine. Of course Nathan had dreams of an Escalade stretch on spinning 20's but Lucas had come to the rescue and quickly reminded him that it was Megan's day. It was their wedding. It was supposed to be special and elegant, not something out of a G Unit video. So Nathan had arranged their travel to be a coach complete with white horses.

"Now, I had a question about the crystal…"

The doorbell rang and Nathan practically ran to get it. He needed a distraction. On the other side was a courier.

"Mr. Nathan Scott?"

"That's me."

"Sign here, please."

Nathan scrawled his name on the receipt and accepted the large envelope.

"What's that, son?"

"I don't know. It came certified from the New Brunswick County Administration offices."

Megan smiled as she stood.

"Baby, it must be our marriage license. Open it up", she squealed.

He did and gave her the honors of reading it first. Quickly her smile disappeared.

"Meg? What's wrong?"

"This…oh my God."

"What does it say?"

_Dear Mr. Scott,_

_We regret to inform you that your application for a license of marriage to Megan Lindsay Powell has been denied._

"What?" Nathan grumbled. "This has got to be some sort of mistake."

"Nate…"

"It's okay", he said, hugging her.

"Those incompetent idiots", Dan shook his head. "I'll take care of this."

The family gathered around as Dan made a few calls. Once he reached the main supervisor of the Public Records office, he put her on speakerphone. The lady was cordial and eager to assist the family in finding out what had happened.

"Mr. Scott?"

"Yes. We're all here. What seems to be the problem, Doris? Did you find out why the request was denied?"

"Yes sir", the lady began.

"It must be some computer mix up, some misunderstanding."

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Scott. The State rightfully denied your son's marriage license."

"Why?"

"Because…I'm sorry to inform you but according to all records, your son is married to someone else."

"Impossible", Dan rolled his eyes. "Check your files again, Toots."

"Sir, I have checked and checked again. The results are all conclusive. Nathan Daniel Scott is still married to a Haley Joy James."

All four bulked at the mention of the name, especially Nathan. It was like a hot knife searing through him stirring up all the rage inside.

"Look Doris or whatever your name is, lady, you got your facts mixed up. I am not married to…that person."

"Sir, the computer shows…"

"Screw the computer", Nathan said, becoming visibly angry.

"Did you not marry Ms. James on March 14?"

Nathan sighed heavily.

"Look, I made a mistake and yes that did happen. But it didn't last. It never should have happened."

"Did you file for divorce?"

"No. Screw divorce. I wanted to forget it ever happened. Like I said, it shouldn't have. So I had it annulled."

"Yes sir. On November 26."

"That's right."

"However on December 3, we are showing that the annulment was rejected."

"Rejected?" Nathan blew up. "On what grounds?"

"Sorry, sir. I don't have any more information and…"

"You're sorry? That's bullshit! Dude, don't drop a bomb and tell me I am and have been married to that evil, selfish little bitch for all these years! And you don't even know why when I paid money and properly used the legal system to null and void the biggest mistake of my life?"

"Sir, bring all your paperwork to our office and this should be cleared up in a matter of days…"

"Fuck that!"

"We will certainly do that", Megan politely intervened. "Thank you for your time and help, Doris."

Nathan cursed again and kicked at the furniture.

"Son…", Dan tried, putting an arm around Nathan.

Nathan recoiled and immediately fled the house. His emotions were in a tizzy.

"Sweetie, what was all that back there?" Megan followed him.

"Look, I'm sorry, Meg. There has to be a mistake! No way am I still married…"

"I'm not talking about that. Whether it's true or not, we can go down to the office or see a lawyer and find out why it happened and get it taken care of. Nathan, I'm talking about your temper. Baby, you're scaring me. You just flipped out back there."

"I know. Look, I didn't mean to. You don't understand…"

"Make me understand", she whispered, cupping his face.

"I…I hate her, alright?"

"You never talk about her. Just that one time you told me."

"Because I can't. I want to forget. I won't even speak her name. She doesn't exist to me."

"Well now she does. And you have to deal with it, babe."

"I don't want to."

"You have to. We'll do it together."

Nathan sighed. She was so beautiful, so understanding. How did he get so damned lucky?

"I'm sorry", he said quietly.

"It's okay. Just don't shut me out, Nate. I love you. We're in this thing together. No matter what."

There was only one order of business left. No matter how much money it would cost or whatever it would take, Nathan would hire whoever to track her down and end the farce that never should have happened 7 years ago in the first place.

Kissing Megan, he held her close.

"No matter what", he repeated.


	6. The Woman Who Replaced Her

The jolting of the airplane instantly awakened Haley. Her brown eyes opened slowly as she checked the time. 27 minutes. She'd only been asleep for less than a half hour and it had taken a lifetime for that to happen. God, she hated turbulence. It always made her so nervous.

"Can I get anything for you, Ms. James?" the flight attendant asked sweetly.

"No thank you", Haley managed to smile. "I'm fine."

She stretched her arms and yawned. The flight to Seattle still had a few more hours left. She had been asked to play a one night benefit concert there. She loved to perform and giving to various charities was always a priority for her. Although she wasn't looking forward to rainy weather, one night away wouldn't be so bad.

In fact, Haley needed time away. She loved New York and she loved her loft apartment. She loved her fans and the various agents, assistants and managers that had been so helpful over the years. She had a good team of people to work with and fabulous friends, most of them in the industry. Yes, it was a great life and one so vastly different than the one she had left behind.

Of all the places she had traveled throughout the world, not one was like Tree Hill, North Carolina. She could close her eyes and see the beaches and the cluster of streets filled with an assortment of shops. In her mind she saw the halls of the high school she never finished and the café that had always been her home away from home. She remembered CD shopping with Peyton and watching Lucas play ball down at the River Court. And Brooke's nicknames of Tutor Girl and eventually Tutor Wife rang loudly in her ears.

Nothing compared to the friends she once had, people that were now virtually strangers. The relationship with Brooke had dissolved as quickly as it had begun and Lucas…well the pain was still fresh. They had tried but too much had happened. As close as they had been, it was hard to believe he had "chosen" Nathan over her. Maybe he hadn't but it sure felt like everyone had taken sides. The only one who seemed neutral and who had cared enough to stay in touch was Peyton and time had even lessened their contact. Every now and then Karen would write a letter and cards always arrived promptly for Christmases and birthdays. A few times Haley had even picked up the phone to chat. It was always friendly, casual, light…and by the end of the conversation, Haley would somehow summon the courage to ask how Nathan was doing. Other than that, her ties to her hometown had long ago been severed.

Now Nathan was getting married again. Haley couldn't stop thinking about it. Of course she had always wondered the details of his love life after her. She cringed every time she imagined the hordes of women that must have been in and out of his bed. That bothered her but more than that, it was a scary feeling to even fathom that there might be someone actually special. Someone more than just a warm body to ease the lonely nights. Apparently now there was. Haley had officially been replaced. Soon there would be a new Mrs. Scott.

Sighing, Haley pulled down the case from overhead storage that contained her laptop. She logged on to the Internet and Google. Curiosity was burning inside. She wanted to know. She had to know. Taking a deep breath, she typed "Nathan Scott's marriage" in the search engine. It returned hundreds of thousands of results. Skimming through them all, finally one caught her attention.

It was a Raleigh newspaper. On the society page was a huge photograph of Nathan. Haley gasped. He was wearing blue. He always did look good in blue. It accentuated his eyes. God, was he still beautiful! He looked the same, only tanner and more mature. He wasn't alone in the picture. In his arms was a woman. She was young and pretty. Her petite figure was dressed in a khaki skirt and a baby blue shirt that blended with Nathan's ensemble. Stylishly cut blonde hair fell just below her shoulders and she had a smile that was infectious. They looked like the perfect all American couple. They looked happy.

_Bobcats Point Guard to marry_, the caption read. Haley soaked in every word of the official announcement.

_North Carolina's 4th District Congressman Rep. Mark Powell (D) and his wife, Laurie, formally announce the engagement of their daughter, Megan Lindsay to Nathan Daniel Scott._

_The marriage is scheduled to take place on Saturday, August 21st, at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. The ceremony will be held at the United Evangelical Church in Tree Hill. The Reverend Howard Peterson will officiate. _

_Following the ceremony, a reception will be hosted by the parents of the groom at the Tree Hill Gardens Country Club. On the preceding Friday evening, a rehearsal dinner will commence at the same location._

_The bride to be is the daughter of Rep. And Mrs. Mark Powell. of Raleigh, North Carolina. She is the granddaughter of Mrs. John Powell of Greensboro, North Carolina and Mr. & Mrs. Maxwell Dillon of Durham, North Carolina. She is a graduate of Wake Christian Academy and Duke University. She is a mortgage broker at Merrill Lynch in Charlotte, North Carolina._

_The groom is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Scott of Tree Hill, North Carolina. He is the grandson of Mr. & Mrs. Royal Scott of Asheboro, North Carolina and Mr. & Mrs. Robert Woods of Wilmington, North Carolina. He is a graduate of Tree Hill High School and Duke University. He is a professional basketball player for the Charlotte Bobcats._

_Following a honeymoon in throughout Europe, the couple will reside in Charlotte._

Following the announcement was another photograph of Nathan and Megan with her parents as well as Dan and Deb. Haley laughed out loud in disbelief. A beaming Dan had his arm around his future daughter in law.

"Wow", she said out loud. "Dan the snake likes her. Either she must be really special or really evil."

It was a lame joke attempted to ease her own thoughts but pangs of sadness mixed with jealousy could not be erased. Life had gone on for everybody. Nathan had moved on and he was happy. That's what Haley wanted for him most. She had heard more than a few horror stories over the years from Karen, Lucas and Peyton about his troubles and resulting wild behavior. There was also that underlining hint of an accusation that it was Haley's own fault for deserting him.

She wasn't completely heartless or even ignorant for that matter. She knew her leaving had hurt Nathan but it had hurt her as well. The end of her marriage was devastating. Haley had vowed to Nathan before God to be his wife until death did them part. But it was something else that had parted them. Her choice. She knew her actions had caused the eventual destruction of their union but it wasn't like she hadn't chosen Nathan. She just chose the music as well.

It hurt seeing the photo yet she couldn't peel her eyes away from it. Megan looked like a nice girl. She certainly has been blessed in the looks department but there was a friendly and soft look to her face. And she apparently came from good stock. Her father was a Democratic Congressman and she had attended a prestigious private high school then Duke. Her occupation was listed as a mortgage broker so she must not have been to shabby in intellect and ambition as well. Haley was glad. Nathan deserved someone smart, someone who wouldn't just be a trophy wife and spend her days spending all his money.

But it hurt. It hurt bad. Someone had taken Haley's place. No, her hippie father who worked for the city's electrical company wasn't a politician and Haley hadn't attended a fancy prep school and college. And Dan had never liked her and Deb had stopped liking her the minute she and Nathan said "I do". But despite all that, once she had been his wife.

She wished he hadn't annulled it. Divorce would have been better. At least divorce meant it happened. An annulment just cruelly erased the fact that something once beautiful had existed. She had signed the papers hesitantly. It was something that had to be done but something she never would have had the balls to initiate. In her mind, if there was no paperwork, then there was still a marriage. If there was still a marriage, there was still hope.

Logging off and closing the laptop, Haley sighed. Now there was no hope. It hadn't been for a while but this was the clincher. She had her life and he had his. And she would never be apart of it. Ever. Haley had remarried her career…Nathan was remarrying another woman.

"Ms. James, we will be preparing for a landing soon."

"Okay", Haley said softly.

"Ma'am, are you sure you're okay?"

Haley closed her eyes and thought of the impending busy schedule, the masses of fans, the stress and excitement of being on stage. The life she had wanted.

"Yeah", she sighed finally. "I think I'm going to be."


	7. Luke's Hope

"Mr. Scott, we are reviewing the recorded measurements. Someone will be right out to assist you with trying on the styles of the tuxedo you and Miss Powell selected."

"Thanks", Nathan muttered.

"The specialist is almost finished with your brother, sir. Until then, relax and make yourself comfortable. Is there anything we can get you?"

"Uh…yeah, can I get a little Gin, please? Straight, on the rocks."

The attendant nodded and within a few minutes returned with beverage. It was one of the East Coast's most exclusive bridal shops and the two Scott brothers were honoring their appointments for tux fittings. Trying on various accessories would pretty much be an all day thing but as with most merchants, every wish and command of the young men was catered to in the VIP room.

For the day, it would just be Lucas and Nathan. Megan was off somewhere with Deb and though he missed his fiancée, Nathan was secretly happy that Megan wasn't with him for the fitting. She probably would have been concerned, to say the least, about his drinking but he needed something to keep him calm.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, little bro", Lucas grinned as he emerged. "Drinking before noon? What's the deal?"

"Nothing", the dark haired one answered. "Just taking the edge off."

"Taking the edge off, huh? Dude, you have this great life. You have the career you always wanted and now you're about to be married to a great girl. I'd say you're pretty lucky."

"Yeah", Nathan repeated with another swig. "I guess I am."

"Dude, I'm going to chalk up your less than cheery mood to either prenuptial jitters or the fact that you're probably going stone crazy in the house with Dad."

Nathan cringed a little bit. It was still weird to hear Lucas call Dan that even though, biologically, that's exactly what he was to the two brothers.

"Something like that…"

"What's the deal with that anyway, Nate? I was going to ask you. I didn't think you and Megan would be staying here more than a few days."

"Yeah. We didn't either. Something came up. We're just taking care of some stuff. It should be over in a few days."

"Cool but you know I have the keys to the beach house so if it gets a little crazy over there at Casa Scott, you know you two are welcome to crash with me."

"Thanks, dude, but uh, it's not too bad. Besides, Dad is helping me out with some stuff…"

Lucas stopped messing with the tie he was trying on and looked at his younger brother in the mirror. Nathan was moody and sullen and quiet. He wasn't in a talkative mood and his mind often seemed a million miles away. Something was up. Something was going on.

"Stuff?" Lucas treaded carefully. "What kind of stuff?"

"Just stuff", Nathan shrugged.

"Okay. Look, I'm not buying it. I smell a rat. Now you can tell me to go fuck myself or whatever but if you want to talk, then you know I'm here, man."

"I know but um…I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright. I'll back off but I just wanted to make sure."

"It's cool, Luke. I can handle it or at least my lawyers can."

"Lawyers, whoa! Dude…"

"My marriage license to Meg was denied by the state of North Carolina."

"Denied? Why?"

Nathan chuckled bitterly as he downed a huge gulp of his Gin. Lucas was his older brother. He may as well have known the truth.

"Well big brother it seems that I'm already married."

"Already married? Wait, you mean…"

"Yep. Guess I can't get rid of the slut after all."

"Nate, come on man…"

Lucas understood his brother's anger and he had been just as hurt when Haley left the way she did. The years had brought forth an awkwardness between two who had grown up the very best of friends. It had been hard and Lucas harbored his own feelings on the subject matter but no matter how angry he sometimes got at Haley, he still felt that odd need to defend her when anyone else insulted or spoke too ill of her. Usually that someone would be Nathan.

"What? What am I supposed to call her? Slut? Bitch? Cunt, sounds pretty nice…"

"Nate!"

"Why are you defending her?"

"I'm not. Just…I just don't like to hear you call her those names."

"Whatever", Nathan mumbled.

"Dude, it's disrespectful."

"Fine. What am I supposed to call her?"

"How about her name, man? How about Haley?"

Nathan's jaw tightened just as it did every time someone dared mention his name in his presence.

"Like I said...whatever."

"What do you mean, you're married already?" Lucas asked, ignoring his brother's hate filled sarcasm.

"Just what I said. Look, I don't know the details and my lawyers are working it all out but apparently I'm still legally married and have been all these years."

"But the annulment. I thought you had it annulled that same year she left. I mean, didn't Haley sign the papers?"

"Yep."

"Then what happened?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Lucas sighed.

"Does Meg know?"

"Yeah."

"Dude, she must be freaking out…"

"She's a lot calmer than I am, that's for sure", Nathan noted. "I don't know. They promised me that it should be cleared up within a few days. Whatever happened, they'll find out, let us know and then we can fix it and get it over with."

"Does…does Haley know?"

"I don't know. Honestly? I don't even care. I guess when it comes down to taking care of all of this, my attorney will contact her attorney. I shouldn't have any direct contact with her and believe me, that's the way I want it. That's how it's been for years so I don't see any point in trying to change it now. Besides, I don't have anything to say to her."

Lucas listened quietly. Yes, Nathan had been hurt. Of course he had a right to be angry but it was more than that. And anytime the sore subject of Haley was broached, it was plain to see. The tone of his voice, the tightness of his body language, the way his blue eyes would darken into an almost black color. The transformation was almost scary. He hated her.

"Well, I hope it all works out."

"It will", Nathan said confidently, finishing the last of what was in his glass.

"Look, if you need anything. I mean it, anything at all, then I'm here."

"I know", Nathan managed a half smile.

Then he changed the subject, his way of letting Lucas know that Haley, marriage, annulments and anything else related, were now strictly forbidden topics. Luke listened as Nathan went on and on about some Nascar race he had attended with Meg's parents. His temperament had evened and he had returned to his normal self, still Lucas worried.

He knew Haley's leaving years before had almost destroyed his brother. In a way, Nathan had never got over it. He never faced the pain. Instead he turned to basketball or alcohol or meaningless one night stands. But never once did he sit down and deal with his loss. Seven years later, the torment obviously was still there. Nathan's only saving grace had been Megan.

Lucas took a deep breath. He prayed everything would turn out okay. He prayed the real reason behind the annulment's denial would be revealed and quickly resolved. He prayed Nathan and Megan would marry and live happily ever after. He prayed his little brother would finally find the peace that had seemed to evade him his whole life.

And finally he prayed that there would be no confrontation between Nathan and Haley. He prayed they would never have to see each other again. For a while he had held out hope that there would be a reconciliation but time had proven otherwise. Now it was just best that the former couple remained estranged. Too much time had passed. Too many feelings had been hurt. Too many questions had not been answered. Now it was too late. Lucas wanted to avoid then inevitable opening up of the can of worms that threatened to unleash a monster and ruin the lives of the people he loved.


	8. Time To Exorcise The Demons

He had taken a drive just to clear his head. He needed it. A long walk by the beach seemed just what the doctor ordered to take his mind off everything. And then just when he was most at peace, just as the water cool water ran over his toes and he could see a seagull flying, Nathan's oneness with nature was abruptly halted. The ringing of his cell jarred him back into the real world and he answered it before bothering to check the Caller ID.

"Yeah?"

"Nate, it's me. It's Luke. Where are you?"

"Just out. Doing some stuff. Why what's up?"

"I dropped by Dad's looking for you and uh…your lawyer is here."

"What?"

"Yeah, man. Look everyone is here including Meg. I think you better get back."

Nathan sensed the urgency in his brother's voice. It made his own heart pound as well.

"I'm on my way", he said, hanging up and dashing back to the car.

Once inside, it was hard to breathe. His hands literally shook as he attempted to turn the ignition. Nathan took a deep breath as he passed the portion of the beach where he and Haley had taken their wedding vows. He fought the urge to throw up. How painfully ironic he thought as he headed back to town.

Nathan's brain was a zillion places at once. Then he noticed _that_ spot down by the River. It was where they had that first tutoring session. Nathan could see the table from the road. He could see her sitting across from him. He could smell her hair blowing in the breeze.

_The handsome young jock opened the Cracker Jack box, praying that maybe a cheat sheet was the prize buried at the bottom. It wasn't but instead was a bracelet. Colorful and made of plastic so cheap it might break just by looking at it, Nathan grinned. It was time to pour on that classic Scott charm._

"_It's for you. Come on._"

_She looked seriously annoyed, angry almost even but despite her protests, he slipped it on her wrist anyway. Her hands were so tiny and her skin felt so smooth._

"_Don't say I never gave you anything", he smirked as they began._

Beeeeeeppppppp!

"Fuck!" Nathan yelled as he swerved in the nick of time to avoid rear ending the car in front of him. As the mini van drove away, Nathan's heart thumped when he saw hints of what was a car seat in the back. He had almost hit a lad with a possible baby in her car. It took a bit to regain a normal breathing pattern but finally he made it to his parents' house in one piece.

"Nate, you okay?" Meg asked as she hastily greeted him at the door.

"I'm fine."

"You sure, babe? Your skin is flushed. Maybe you're coming down with something…"

"I'm okay", he sighed. "Just anxious to get all this crap over with. Luke called. Are the lawyers still here?"

"Just your main attorney, Mr. Adams and your dad called someone in too. Douglas Hill, I think was the name."

Great! Just perfect! Why couldn't Dan stay out of things that didn't concern him, Nathan thought as he grabbed his fiancée's arm and hurried to the study where everyone was. So much for privacy if that was the intention. Sitting at the large table with bated breath were the two lawyers, Dan, Deb and Lucas.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the Scott family", Nathan joked as Megan pinched him and Dan shot him an evil glare.

"This is not a joking matter, son", Dan warned in an agitated tone. "I suggest you take a seat."

"Fine", Nathan sighed. "Mr. Adams, Mr. Hill, what's going on? I hope you have some kind of news for us."

"Yes we do, Nathan", Mr. Adams began. "The Public Records office was right. You still are legally wed to Haley Joy James Scott and have been for the past seven years."

Nathan's fists clenched.

"Great! Just fucking great! How did that happen? What, she didn't sign the papers?"

"No. Mrs. Scott in fact…"

"Don't call her that", Nathan interrupted in a steely tone.

"I'm sorry, sir. Ms. James did sign the papers, however it appears she turned them over to her own attorney for verification."

"And…"

"There is a statute of limitations so to speak. That means that the paperwork was filed properly and both parties signed without contesting the manner but the paperwork was not turned in on time."

"What?"

"By North Carolina law, you had 30 days to have everything signed and completed. You failed to comply with that. Ms. James' attorney returned them approximately two to three weeks after that deadline."

Nathan was furious.

"Wait. So you mean, all this happens because her attorney turned in our paperwork too late?"

"I'm afraid so."

"That's bullshit!"

"Calm down, son", Dan coolly interjected. "How could this have happened? There was no confirmation, no follow up paperwork…"

"That is a mistake on the state's end, Mr. Scott. Once the paperwork was filed late, the state immediately should have forwarded certified letters to your son and Ms. James notifying them of such. It would have also provided an extended deadline for them to explain the tardiness as well as resubmit the package."

"Let me guess, that letter never arrived."

"I'm afraid not. Apparently there was a bit of an office mix up. Somehow the paper was filed as 'completed' which explains why there was no follow up. Then it was never changed in the computer but the system didn't catch the error until Nathan and Miss Powell applied for a marriage license. I'm sorry."

"That's stupid! Fucking incompetent jerks! How hard is it to look over some stupid papers and verify everything was done right?" Nathan continued to grumble.

"It's okay, honey", Deb intervened. "I'm sure it was an honest mistake and we can't change the past. Mr. Adams, Mr. Hill, just tell us what our son has to do to get this annulment taken care of as quickly and hassle free as possible."

"Mrs. Scott, I'm afraid it's not that simple this time around."

"Excuse me?"

"We have researched and called around and done everything legally to see the quickest way for Nathan to file annulment papers but uh…it appears he can't."

"What do you mean, I can't? Look, dude do whatever you have to do and I don't give a shit how much it costs but I don't want to be married to that girl a second longer."

"I understand, Nathan but annulment is no longer an option."

"So what do we do?"

"Divorce."

Nathan sighed. Divorce. That sucked! Divorce meant the marriage actually had taken place. It would mean legally that she once had been his wife.

"Fine. Whatever. How long?"

"You have to be legally separated for a year."

"Dude, we've been separated like seven!"

"No. From the time you file. If you file tomorrow or right now even, the 365 days would begin the minute you signed."

Nathan jumped up so fast it looked as if he were having a seizure. A barrage of four letter words spewed from his mouth. Megan almost had to physically restrain him.

"Nathan, I'm sorry. We did all we could. I promise to continue to look for any loop holes that might speed up this process but…"

"I don't care what you have to do! I don't care if you have to throw the bitch in the Hudson, I want a divorce for her in eight weeks!"

Kicking the table in frustration one last time, Nathan left the room, slamming the door of his father's study hard enough to almost dissemble the hinges. It was Lucas who went after him.

"Calm down, bro."

"Calm down? Did you just hear what was said? I'm still married to her! Know why? Because her attorney was an idiot! Now I can't annul it so I have to divorce her ass! Now I'm supposed to wait more than a year? Dude, my fiancée is sitting right there! I'm marrying Meg in less than two months."

"I know, man. And Megan is upset but you are not making the situation better with this tantrum. Calm down, okay? Look, we'll figure something out. There has to be a way. We'll all sit down and brainstorm and settle this and figure it out but you have to pipe down, dude. Seriously."

Nathan nodded. It was hard to even think or breathe. For years, seven whole years she had haunted him. In sleep she was everywhere and in the waking hours ever so often something would come along to refresh the memories. Now she was back. The memory was back with a vengeance and Nathan could no longer take it. It would have to be over. He had to rid himself of her. It was time to put the ghosts of the past to rest.


	9. History Dictates The Future Every Time

"Lucas, really I'm fine, okay? I appreciate you wanting to get me a cup of coffee but I'm fine. I think I'd just like to back to the house and…"

"Surprise!"

Megan screamed, jumping back into Luke's arms, hands over her heart. He had dropped by his father and stepmother's and after a quick chat with his future sister in law, had insisted that they take a drive that ended up at his mother's café. Megan was tired and a little worried that her fiancé had disappeared and hadn't been seen or heard from since early afternoon. She loved Lucas and hanging out with him but all she wanted at that moment was a little peace and quiet in the form of alone time.

A trip for coffee to the darkened café had turned out most of Tree Hill's residents and a few of the couple's friends from Charlotte. Banners hung and music played as Meg was bombarded with a rush of hugs and greetings from the guests.

"Oh my God! What is going on? What is this?"

"This is your surprise bridal shower, girlie", Peyton Sawyer grinned as she hugged her.

The friends Nathan Scott had grown up with remained very close to him. It was like a tight circle with a special bond that was unbreakable because of all the things they had shared and been through over the years. In loving Nathan, it was an easy and natural transition to love his friends as well. For the girls of his crew, Peyton Sawyer and Brooke Davis, the presence of Megan Powell had at first been weird, to say the least. As nice as she was, she was still an outsider. Haley had long disappeared and her leaving had affected everyone in one way or the other. She was missed and at times even hated, her decision very misunderstood but through it all, it was hard to imagine Nathan with anyone else. At one time they all thought they would wake up and it would be a dream. Haley would come back home where she belonged and she and Nathan would reconcile and live happily ever after.

That did not happen. There was no Haley but there was a Meg. She had a wonderful personality and it was impossible not to like her. And as more time passed, it looked as if she were there to stay. More importantly, she made Nathan happy. In his darkest days when it looked like he was heading down a path of ominous self destruction, it was Megan who brought him back from the brink. She was the only one who could reach him. A beautiful, kind hearted girl with a bright smile and a good head on her shoulders had saved him…just like he had been saved in high school by a similar girl.

It had taken the girls a while to warm up to Meg for different reasons. For Brooke it was simply a part of being Brooke. The gorgeous brunette could be a bit self centered at times and extremely territorial. All outsiders had to prove themselves and after a while Megan did and she was invited into Tree Hill's most infamous and envied clique.

For Peyton, it was something more. She had been the one to keep in contact with Haley. If anyone semi understood Haley's choice, it was Peyton. She had sympathy for her and still an amount of allegiance. She loved Haley but she loved Nathan and Haley together, Naley as she had affectionately nicknamed the pair. Befriending Megan was almost like a slap in the face to Haley but Peyton knew she had to move forward. After all, it was Haley who had left.

"Oh Pey…this is so awesome! Thank you! I had no idea…"

"Well that was the point", the other blonde smiled. "Now sit and relax. We're gonna pig out and open cool presents. Sorry about there being no stripper but we'll save that for the bachelorette party."

Megan smiled as she took her seat as the guest of honor. With a smile she mouthed to Lucas that she was going to kill him. He just winked, happy that everything had gone off without a hitch. Happy that she looked so happy.

"Good job, Broody. I'm proud of you."

Lucas didn't have to turn around. He'd know that voice anywhere. Besides, she was the only who dared and got away with calling him "Broody".

"What? I didn't do anything. As I recall, you wouldn't let me partake in any of the actual party planning. My job was just to get Megan here on time."

"And you did a fine job. I just wanted to congratulate you."

Lucas smiled. God, she was beautiful. He loved her eyes and the sexy way her lips curled and that cute whisper thing she did with her voice. Brooke Davis was a beautiful and amazing woman. She had always been special to Lucas. They had tried the dating thing as high schoolers but it hadn't worked out. Actually it was Lucas' cheating with Peyton, Brooke's best friend, that had caused it not to work out. That was years and lots of drama ago. It had taken a while to get over the anger and awkwardness that ensued but somehow the duo, or trio had gotten things back on the friendship track. There had always been underlying feelings between Lucas and Brooke but timing, location and other factors of fate always seemed to keep them apart. There was a lot of history there and a lot of love.

"Thanks. I aim to please."

"Really?" she asked saucily.

"Yes, I do but uh, in all seriousness Brooke, this is a nice thing you and Peyton and Mom and Deb put together for Meg. It's really cool."

"She's a good girl. I love Meg. She and Nate are sweet together."

"Yeah I guess they are."

"Speaking of which, where is the groom to be?"

Lucas shrugged. The question of the hour concerning the man of the hour. No one had seen hide nor hair of the younger Scott in hours. Ever since the meeting with the lawyers and the startling info it had revealed, Nathan's mental and emotional state were questionable at best. Lucas was worried. He hoped his little brother was okay.

Before Lucas could answer Brooke, he could see Nathan, accompanied by his friend, Tim Smith, approaching the front door. Luke breathed a huge sigh of relief until the men entered.

"Well, well, well", Brooke grinned. "If it isn't Tree Hill's very own American sports idol. Fashionably late for your own party, I see, just like all the big stars. Come in. We've been holding off on cutting the cake waiting for you."

Megan smiled at the sight of her fiancé. On the table was a beautifully decorated strawberry cake it had taken Karen all day to bake and beautify.

"Cake for us?" Nathan asked.

"You bet", Karen smiled. "Just let me get the saucers and forks and…"

"Who needs all that?" Nathan said as he smashed his fist in the side of a layer.

A horrified hush fell over the crowd.

"Damn this cake is good! Karen, you made this? Damn! I mean it! This cake is fucking awesome! Have some cake, everybody! Meg? Luke? Mom? Dad?"

Karen and Deb shook their head sadly as Dan chewed tersely on the inside of his lip looking ready to explode at any minute. Lucas hung his head. For the first time he noticed that not only had Nathan arrived with his friend but Tim was actually holding the younger Scott up. Lucas noticed that Nathan was slurring his speech and talking louder and more boisterous than usual. Lucas shook his head. Nathan was drunk.

"Come on, man", Lucas quietly tried to usher his brother to the back.

"Have some cake, Luke! Man, your mom can cook! This cake is good!"

"Nate…"

"What the hell are you doing, idiot?" Dan angrily grumbled into Nathan's ear as he grabbed his arm. "This is your fiancée's bridal shower for Christ's sake."

"Shut the fuck up and have some cake, Old Man!" Nathan laughed, using his cake and icing laced finger to trace a frosting trail around his incensed father's mouth.

"Nathan…", Megan stood up.

"Baby, did you try the cake?"

Fresh tears of anger, sadness and frustration filled her eyes.

"It's okay. I've got him", Lucas gestured as Peyton's boyfriend, Jake Jagielski stepped in to help as well.

Along with Tim they dragged him to the back and a waiting car outside.

"Dude, why the hell would you let him come here bombed?" a pissed off Lucas asked Tim.

"Man, he was like that when I found him", Tim shrugged. "Sorry. He wanted to come and I couldn't stop him. What was I supposed to do?"

Nathan bent over as Lucas was there to catch him.

"I'm sorry, man", he breathed. "I'm sorry, Luke. Oh God, bro, I'm hurting."

"Nate, you're going to be okay, dude."

"No, man. I…I'm really hurting", he groaned as he leaned over and vomited.

Lucas frowned and looked away at the mess as Deb came out with a paper towel to help her son clean up. They loaded him into Jake's care who drove him back to the Scott house. Once inside the café, the mood was confused and concerned as well as desolate. Poor Megan looked crushed. Lucas knew he had to do something to salvage what was left of the evening.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please excuse my little brother. He just got a little excited and started partying a little early. He's okay and I apologize for his behavior and things getting a little crazy but hey, it's still a party, right? So let's eat up and have a good time."

Lucas turned on the music and silently beseeched Brooke and Peyton with his eyes for help. They followed his lead by trying to liven up the event and Lucas even convinced Megan to join him in a dance even though it was hard to mistake the sadness and disappointment etched on her pretty face. Somehow, someway, they all made it through and Lucas could breathe a huge sigh of relief when the last guest was gone and Megan was safely tucked away in a car with Dan and Deb headed home.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"Nothing", Lucas sighed.

"Broody, don't lie to me."

How could he lie to her?

"Brooke, the state of North Carolina denied Nathan and Megan's marriage license application."

"Why?"

"He's still married to Haley. No one knew. It was a technicality but paperwork got messed up and stuff wasn't turned in on time and long story short, the annulment didn't go through like everyone thought."

"What?" Brooke exclaimed. "You mean…Nathan and Tutor Wife or Tutor Star or whatever have been married this whole time! All these years?"

"Yep."

"Oh God. Poor Meg. Does she even know?"

"She knows. Dad and Deb do, too."

"Wow. So now what?"

"It gets worse. They can't annul it now. They have to divorce. The hitch? A year long legal separation and the past seven don't count."

"Whoa!"

"Yeah."

"Poor Nathan. No wonder he got hammered. Lucas, you should have told me. I feel awful. Maybe we shouldn't have had the shower tonight and…"

"I thought about it but the lawyers are working to fix this and I thought a nice party is just what we needed. I didn't know Nathan was gonna get drunk off his ass and ruin everything."

"Does Haley know? I mean, has anybody talked to her? Attorneys?"

"I don't know. I don't know what's going on, Brooke."

"So now what?"

"I don't know", he sighed looked out into the darkness of night. "I don't know."


	10. The Ultimate Sin

Nathan winced as he turned over. His head throbbed and he wanted to throw up again but it was no use considering he had puked up everything he had ever consumed his 23 years on Earth. It was late or early, depending on how you looked at it. He had been passed out for hours and when he finally came to the memories of hours earlier came flooding back. He felt like crap physically and he shuddered when he remembered what he had done.

Sitting up in the darkness, he saw her sitting across from him in a chair. The moonlight cast a pale shadow on her skin as she sat quietly awake, feet folded underneath her.

"Meg…"

She didn't answer. He knew he was in trouble. He tried to get up and walk over to her but his entire body felt like lead.

"Megan, look, babe, can we talk?" he winced.

Still silence.

"Baby, I know you're mad…"

"Mad?" she laughed bitterly. "That's an understatement, Nathan. I'm furious."

He hung his head in shame.

"Meg…"

"What? You're gonna say you're sorry?"

"I am."

"Sorry for getting drunk and humiliating me and yourself at a party our friends through in honor of our wedding?"

"I am sorry for that", he apologized sheepishly.

"Well, you should be."

"Megan…"

"No, Nathan. Look, you know how much I love you. Now I'm a pretty touch girl and I have patience and there's a lot of stuff I can put up with but the crap you've been pulling lately is more than I can tolerate."

"I know."

"You know? Then why won't you stop? Or at least explain because you've been acting like a madman the last week or so."

"It's just…it's stuff, okay?"

"Haley?"

"Don't say her name."

Megan shook her head in frustration.

"She's the reason why?"

"I can't talk about it."

"Can't or won't?"

"Meg…"

"No. Nathan, in all the time we've been together, we've been happy, right?"

"Yeah."

"You love me?"

"Of course I do."

"And have we ever had a fight?"

"No."

"An argument?"

"No."

"Well we're about to have a big one right now if we don't talk about this. We have to deal with it. We have to deal with her. Haley."

"Megan, I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"She's the reason you've been acting this way. You're still married to her after all…"

"Don't fucking remind me!"

"Why? It's true. I deal with it. I deal with it because I have to and so should you. It's a part of our lives and it's a huge part of your history and who you are."

"Damn, Meg. What do you want from me? What do you want me to do?"

"Face it! Talk about her!"

"What do you want to hear?"

"The truth."

"The truth? The truth that I loved her and sacrificed everything for her and she broke my heart? The truth that she chose a dream over me? The truth that she left me for that Chris Keller guy?"

Nathan's voice was rising and he was obviously emotional. Megan wanted the truth but at the same time it killed her to see him hurting so.

"Nate…"

"Meg, in your opinion, what is the worst thing someone could do to another human being?"

"I don't know", she shrugged. "Murder, I guess. Maybe rape."

Nathan shook his head.

"Betrayal", he mouthed. "There is no other worse sin."

She got up and slowly walked over to him, holding him gently.

"Babe, I know you're hurting. I'm sorry. I'm here for you but you have to talk to me. We have to share. Nathan, I'm not made of glass or porcelain. I promise I won't break. Okay? Whatever it is you're going through, we go through together. You don't have to deal with this on your own. I can't take it. I can't take your temper and your outbursts and you getting drunk…I can't deal with that. And I won't. As much as I love you, I won't, Nathan."

He sighed, putting his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry. I was a real sick tonight. I'm sorry for what happened. I promise it won't go down like that again."

"I hope not."

"I love you, Meg. I really do. You're right. It's a lot of stuff from my past that I don't talk about. It hurts and it's scary and it puts me in this crazy, dark place. I can't deal with it. I don't know how. It's too much. Look, Megan I know I have to change and I know I don't have to be that tough guy all the time around you but you've got to be patient with me. I'll try to work on stuff just don't get mad if it takes longer than you'd like."

She smiled in the darkness.

"All I want is an effort, Nate. All I want is to love you. And I want you to love me."

"I do", he said, kissing her cheek as he pulled her down in bed with him. "It'll be okay, Meg. I promise. We're all going to be okay."


	11. You Made Your Bed, Now Wallow In It

"How do you feel?"

Nathan sighed and shrugged after taking a sip from his bottle of water.

"Like an ass."

"Good", Lucas half teased. "And you should."

"Was I that bad, dude?"

"Worse. Trust me."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize to me. Start with your fiancée and then maybe my mom and Brooke and Peyton and your mom and…"

"Okay, okay, I get it. Damn, Luke. Pour salt into an open wound, why don't you?"

"Meg forgive you?"

"This time."

"Lucky bastard. She's a great girl and she really loves you."

"I know."

"So stop messing it up, Nate! Damn!"

"I'm an asshole, I know. We had a talk and I'm going to try to change."

"Good. Now you heard from your attorney?"

"Yeah", Nathan sighed.

"And?"

"No good news, man. It looks pretty bleak. Legally, there is nothing they can do which is killing me."

"Sorry."

"You? Bro, what am I gonna do? I am supposed to marry the girl of my dreams in less than two months. How can I do that when I'm still married to the girl in my nightmares?"

"I don't know."

"There has to be a way…"

"I hope so."

"Yeah, me too."

Lucas sighed before asking the next question. It was sure to hit a sore and sensitive spot.

"Does…does Haley know yet?"

"No", Nathan answered. "My lawyer is going to contact her lawyer probably tomorrow."

"Nate, you can't. You have to stop it."

"What are you talking about?"

"This is a huge shock. Remember how you felt when you found out you were still married? Not that you care but imagine how Haley is going to feel. This kind of news turns someone's world upside down."

"Your point?"

"My point? I know you're mad and you have every right to be. Haley really hurt you but don't you think seven years of hating her is enough?"

Nathan thought for a second.

"No."

"Nate…"

"What? Don't expect me to feel sorry for her, okay? It's not going to happen, Luke."

"Just do me a favor."

"Depends", Nate muttered.

"Come on, dude. I've done a lot of shit for you over the years. You owe me."

"True but this sounds pretty crucial. What's the favor?"

Lucas took a deep breath.

"It's going to be hard enough when Haley hears the news. At least you had me and Megan and Dad and Deb. We don't know who Haley has."

"I'm sure Chris the rock star will be there to pick up the pieces", Nathan rolled his eyes.

"I doubt it. Look, just don't let her find out callously from lawyers. That's not right."

Nathan laughed bitterly in spite of himself.

"What the hell do you want from me, man? What? You want me to deliver a fucking singing telegram?"

"No", Lucas sighed. "Let me."

"I've heard your voice before, dude. Singing isn't your forte", Nathan joked.

"I'm serious. Let me be the one to tell her. I'll go to New York to see Haley."

Nathan's blue eyes widened.

"You're serious?"

"I am. It's only right."

"Luke…"

"It's not about loyalty or taking sides. It's about being decent. It's about trying to resolve this crazy thing before more people get hurt and more lives get disrupted."

Nathan shook his head. His brother always had been a peacekeeper. Nathan didn't give a damn if she got hurt or not. She obviously had no qualms about hurting him.

"Nathan…"

"Fine. Whatever."

"You mean it?" Lucas double checked, relieved.

"Yeah. Look, as long as I don't have to talk to her. I don't know why it's so damned important to you but go do your thing."

"You'll call of your attorney and let me handle it?"

"I said I would."

"Okay, okay. I'll take care of it then."

"I trust that you will", Nathan stood to leave.

Lucas was nervous. He had a flight to arrange, a hotel to set up and after all, it had been years since he had talked to her or seen her face to face.

"Nate?"

"Yeah?"

"Listen…when I talk to Hales, is there anything…is there anything you want me to tell her?"

Nathan smirked as he shook his head.

"Nope. We've said all we needed to say seven years ago. We all make choices, man. That's the easy part. Living with the consequences is what sucks."


	12. House of Blues

Haley sneezed so hard it felt like her head might explode. The others around her jumped and she giggled a little bit. She got that a lot. How could something so loud and obnoxious come out of someone so petite and cute?

"Sorry guys", she apologized. "This crud is kicking my ass and I can't take Ny Quil before I go onstage because with all the lights and stuff, it makes me feel loopy like I'm in outer space."

Her band members smiled. It was a show in the city at the House of Blues and even though virtually every member including the lead singer was sick with flu like symptoms, the show must go on. They packed their instruments and sucked it up.

"For someone claiming to be so sick, you sounded absolutely amazing in rehearsals", Michelle Branch noted with a laugh as she rubbed her pregnant belly.

Haley smiled at her mentor. It was Michelle who so believed in her talent in the first place and convinced her to join the tour. Michelle, a talented musician in her own right, had supported Haley from the beginning. Close in age, the women had grown to be good friends.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage Grammy award winning recording artist…"

The crowd was already screaming and pumped. Haley took one last sip of tea. As she awaited the completion of her introduction, Chris appeared behind her. There were no spoken words but he nodded, his way of saying having a good show.

"…Haley James!"

The fans cheered loudly as Haley walked onstage. There were people as far as she could see. Clearing her throat, she took a seat on a stool placed in front of the microphone.

"What's up, New York?"

The fans responded with applause.

"Um, I wasn't feeling too well earlier tonight but there's such a positive energy in the crowd tonight and I'm starting to feed off that. So if you guys can just bear with me, I'm gonna sit right here and play guitar and my set."

A stage assistant handed her a guitar and Haley had began strumming absently. The fans recognized the chords from "Songs In My Pocket" and they showed their appreciation as she began to sing.

_Honey, I just can't get around it anymore,_

_You make me feel like home is where you are,_

_Baby, I just can't run around it every morning,_

_It's time that I believe it, Home is where you are_

The more she sang, the better she felt. It was weird at first, doing a show with Chris, Michelle and Jessica. Along with Gavin Degraw, that had been her first tour ever. The tour that had ultimately lured her away from Tree Hill and all that was familiar. Now years later there they were all together again.

But there was something about performing. There was something about playing piano and guitar in front of a live audience. It was the thrill of having people love you. It was the high when they sang along with your songs. It was those minutes that made it all worth it.

Haley smiled. She loved her life. Things hadn't turned out so bad. She knew she was born for that stage. It was nothing like it. It made her happy. It made up for so much loss and other sad times in her life.

The fans loved her as well. They bought her records. They made her a number one selling artist. They watched her win Billboard and American Music and Grammy awards. They watched her grow from a shy and awkward pretty teenager to a talented, confident, beautiful woman. They loved her. They believed in her. They cheered for her.

Among them was a tall, blonde man with a close hair cut hidden by a baseball cap. He blended in with the crowd. He stood in the small but packed club and watched her. There was underlying pride in his heart. He couldn't help it. She looked different. Older, prettier, more mature. She was comfortable on that stage. The people loved her. The music was there. He was happy for her. For a while it made sense. For a while it lessened the hurt of why she had left them all so abruptly.

"Thank you. Thank you guys so much. You've been a great audience. Chris Keller's up next."

She smiled and waved and left the stage. Lucas pondered his next move during Chris' performance and that of the Wreckers. Finally it ended. The lights came on and the legions of people began to disappear. Suddenly he was alone with his racing heart and thoughts.

"Hey Buddy, keep it moving", a club staff employee grumbled.

"Man, I'm a friend of Haley James. Is there any way you could take me to her?"

"Sure you are", the guy rolled his eyes.

Lucas cursed as he removed his hat, praying the bouncer would recognize him.

"Look, I…"

"Holy shit! You're that basketball player."

Bingo!

"Yeah. Lucas Scott."

"Come with me. Haley is in the back."

Lucas followed him backstage. He looked around but there was no sign of his former best friend.

"Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. Fancy seeing you here, sport."

Lucas knew the voice all too well. Chris Keller.

"How's it going?" he remained calm.

"I'm cool. You, uh, enjoy the show?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it was good."

"I know but thanks. Let me guess, you used your fellow celebrity to weasel your way backstage. Works every time, huh? I know that move, Superstar, I practically perfected it."

"Where's Haley, man?"

"What? Won't I do? Hell, I'll even be a nice guy and sign an autograph for you."

"Don't get cute with me. I don't have any problems with you, Chris. I just want to see Haley. I need to talk to her. It's important."

"Obviously", he smirked. "You haven't talked to her in how many years again?"

"Is that your business?"

Chris laughed.

"Okay, okay. Follow me. I'll take you to her."

Lucas did and a sure enough a few feet away laughing and talking with Michelle Branch and Jessica Harp was Haley. His breath caught in his throat. He just watched her. She was so pretty. She had changed. But that laugh hadn't. That laugh would never change. He hadn't realized just how much he had missed it.

"Dinner on me next time", Haley grinned. "When I'm not feeling like crap."

"We're holding you to that", Michelle grinned as she finished packing up.

Haley grabbed her purse and guitar case, turning in the direction of where a car was waiting to take her home. She bumped into a handsome stranger on the way.

"I'm sorry", she apologized sweetly.

"Hales…"

Hearing her childhood nickname and that voice sent a chill throughout her body. She couldn't believe it. After all these years, could it really be? She looked up at him. Dear God…

"Lucas…"


	13. What She Didn't Know

They stared at each other not knowing what to say, stuck in a bizarre time warp, words not articulating after so many years of being apart. He was like a mirage, an optical illusion. Finally her brain gave her legs the signal to move and she walked slowly towards him. Their eyes met and she touched him. He was real. He was really there.

"Lucas", she said, hugging him.

His heart dropped as his arms finally wrapped around her. The two friends just stood for a while embracing.

"You look great", he said. "You sounded great, too. I saw the show."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it", she smiled. "Thank you. Um, what are you doing here? How long are you here for? Why didn't you call first so we could have hung out? God, I have a million questions…"

"Sorry. Um, I'm only in town for the night. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing."

Haley's face fell.

"That sucks. I wish we had more time. Listen, can we go out and grab something to eat or…"

"Sure", he nodded. "There's some stuff we need to talk about anyway."

"Okay."

Haley traded her limo for a chauffer driven tinted window Cadillac Escalade. The driver whisked them to downtown to a low key Japanese restaurant. The pair was ushered to a private table in the back. It was a bit awkward as they browsed over the menus and ordered Grilled Duck, Salmon Teriyaki and a Sushi platter.

"Sake?" Lucas offered as the waiter brought out Japan's most potent alcoholic beverage.

"I'm fine", she shook her head. "I have this awful cold that I cannot get rid of and I'm loaded up on all kinds of meds and crazy cough syrups."

Lucas nodded as he took a sip.

"So…"

"So…"

"It's been a long time, Hales. How have you been?"

"Good", she answered honestly. "I'm still doing the music thing and it's going pretty good. I just finished a huge international tour and right now I'm just playing concerts here and there. I hope to get back in the studio and record some new stuff I've been writing and working on and then after that, the whole tour cycle starts all over again. It's exhausting but I love it. For now, at least, I spend most of my days in my apartment…it's a little loft down in Chelsea and I hang out with my cat. What about you?"

Years summed up in a few sentences.

"I got drafted. Philly picked me up so I spent last year busting my ass for the rookie season. It went pretty well and although I am thrilled to have the summer off, I can't wait to do it all over again."

That was pretty much it. Nothing much hadn't happened to him that she couldn't read about in any newspaper or magazine.

"Good, Luke. I mean, I'm glad for you that the basketball thing worked out."

"Yeah. Yeah…it's pretty cool."

More tense moments followed by awful silences. They were relieved when the food finally arrived. It was a welcome distraction.

"So…um, how is Tree Hill?" she finally asked.

"The same."

"How is everyone?"

It was rough water to tread on and they both knew it. Haley approached it carefully.

"Good. The café is doing well. Mom is happy. She and Andy are still hanging on and he's still teaching at the local University. Keith has his shop of course and Jules went into business with Peyton. They own and promote this new club, Tric. They bought the space in the back of the café. Pey and Jake are fine. He got some new job as an architect and man you should see little Jenny now. She's getting big! She's eight now and she's absolutely beautiful. Mouth is actually deejaying for the club and Tim, believe it or not, is in law school."

"Law school?" Haley laughed, spitting out her water. "Tim Smith? The Tim?"

"Yeah", Lucas chuckled as well. "Imagine that, huh? I guess stranger things have happened. Anyway, Skills is doing the white collar thing. He got this really good job as a software engineer at a big computer company and Fergie just started grad school."

"Awesome! Good for those guys."

"And Brooke got this job as an interior decorator at a firm in Tree Hill. She loves it. She's really good at it, too."

"And…"

"And what?"

"So she's still in Tree Hill. You're in Philadelphia. Where does that leave you two?"

Lucas shrugged.

"I don't know. You know it's complicated with Brooke and me. It always has been. I care about her but we went to different colleges and this past year has been crazy with us trying to get settled into our jobs. Now the distance thing…it sucks but who knows? For now we're friends and that is enough for me. I'm just glad we've had the chance to hang out the past week or so."

"You've been in Tree Hill?"

"Yeah. Um, I…I don't know if you heard or not but uh, Nathan is…"

"Getting married. I know", she said softly.

"How'd you hear?"

"TV."

"Oh."

"How is he?"

"Okay."

"I saw the picture of his fiancée. She's really beautiful."

"Yeah. Meg is a nice girl. They're really happy."

"I'm glad. He deserves to be happy."

"He is."

"I'm sure Dan and Deb are, too", Haley rolled her eyes.

"Yeah…"

Lucas took a deep breath. How was he supposed to bring up the real reason behind his visit? He couldn't just blurt out the fact she was still married to his brother.

"Well it sounds like everybody is well…"

"They are but Hales, that's not the real reason for me being here. It's something else."

"Okay…"

"I have to tell you…but I don't know how."

Haley felt a weird pang of anxiety building.

"Luke, whatever it is, just come out and say it."

He sighed.

"You know a guy by the name of Rout?"

Haley thought for a second.

"Oliver. He's my attorney."

"Is or was?"

"Is. Why? Are you suing me?" she joked.

"No. He handled your annulment with Nathan."

"Yes", Haley said softly.

"Hales, look, I don't know how to say this but uh, Rout, well, he didn't get the papers back to North Carolina on time. Did you know that?"

"No."

"Did you ever receive a letter after the annulment saying, I don't know…maybe that there was no annulment?"

"No. Lucas, what are you trying to say?"

"Have another glass of water first", he warned her.

"I don't want any more water."

"Haley, you and Nathan are still legally married."

"Pass the Sake", she demanded.

Lucas complied and she poured herself a shot, quickly gulping it down.

"Hales…"

"Luke, I don't understand…"

"Nathan and Megan went for their marriage license and it was denied. The stat rejected the application because Nathan is still married. No one knew. It sort of slipped through the cracks. Apparently Rout failed to turn in the papers by the deadline and North Carolina misfiled it and never notified either one of you that the annulment didn't go through."

Haley laughed in spite of the situation.

"Wait. Let me get this straight. I want to make sure I'm really hearing you or if it's the Sudafed playing tricks on my mind. Six and a half years ago, Nathan serves me with annulment papers. He signs, I sign, I turn them over to my lawyer, he forwards them back to North Carolina but not in time yet the state still files it as if we're annulled but the computer catches the mistake when Nathan tries to get married again."

"Yeah, that's pretty much in."

Haley took in a breath.

"Oh my God. I…I don't know what to say. I mean, damn! How could this have happened? Why did it take so long for everyone to find out?"

"I don't know."

"Oh my God! This…this so cannot be happening right now. I feel like I'm in the damned Twilight Zone."

"Join the club, Hales."

"What…what did Nathan say?"

"He…he's not a happy camper right now, I'll say."

"Of course not. He hates me."

"Hales, he doesn't hate you."

She shot Lucas a knowing look.

"Lucas…"

"Okay. Maybe he hates you a little", he half joked.

"That's why he dispatched his big brother to break the news? I guess I should be lucky it's you and not the in laws from hell. I don't think I could take Dan or Deb right now. Whatever. Just hand over the stupid papers and I'll sign them right now and fax them immediately over to Oliver and I will literally stand over his shoulder and make sure he gets them right back to Tree Hill or wherever they have to go. I don't care if he has to walk them down Interstate 95 himself. Then this will finally be over and everybody can go on."

Lucas made a face. How he hated to be the bearer of bad news.

"Hales, it's not that simple…"

"What now?"

"The marriage can't be annulled."

"What do you mean? What are we supposed to do?"

"Divorce."

"Okay", she sighed. "Fine. I'm sure Nathan has already filed if Dan hasn't done it for him…"

"Nathan is going to file but there's one minor setback. You guys have to be legally separated for 365 days."

"Newsflash, Luke, we've been separated almost…"

"7 years. I know, I know. Doesn't matter, Hales. The year begins the day you guys file."

Haley's mouth hung open. She couldn't even wrap her brain around the situation. It was too much. She was still Nathan Scott's wife. The marriage thought to be annulled was very much existent.

"Luke…"

"I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you before some lawyer did."

"Thank…thank you. Oh God. I'm so sorry. I'm stunned. I don't know what to say or do…or even how to feel right now."

"Yeah, it's uh, quite the pickle."

"What do I do?"

"I don't know. Nate's attorneys are trying but honestly I don't see an easy fix and it's not looking good considering his own wedding is in six weeks."

"Oh my God!"

"Look, I know you're busy and I know this is a lot to ask but maybe you could come down and…"

"Come where, Lucas?"

"To North Carolina. To Tree Hill. Bring Rout and whoever. Maybe you guys can work together and figure a way out."

"Lucas, I can't, okay? No way. I'll gladly send Oliver but I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because. Because I just can't, alright? Dammitt, Lucas."

He laughed and shook his head.

"I'm not surprised. You know what? It was a mistake on my part for even coming here. I was trying to reason with you but that's kind of pointless now. You don't give a damn."

"That's not fair."

"No, it's not. You changed, Haley. That fun, sweet, original, awesome girl you used to be is long gone. I don't even know you anymore and I don't think I want to."

"No! Don't you come up here and drop this bomb and turn my life upside down, then ask me to drop everything and go there, then you get pissed when I can't."

"Or won't."

"What the hell do you want from me?"

"You left him once. You started all this, Hales. Now I'm just asking you to finish it. Let him go."

She fought back tears.

"Don't dump this on me and try to make me feel guilty, Lucas Scott. I don't have all the answers. How am I supposed to fix this?"

Lucas looked at her as he stood up tossing down a hundred dollar bill to cover the meal and tip before he left.

"Fixing it is up to you to figure out, Hales. The guilt, well…that's what you have to live with."

And just like that. He was gone.


	14. Another Woman's Husband

Nathan sat at the table romantically lit by the four candles he had strategically placed. He sighed, waiting nervously to hear her key turn in the lock. It had been a stressful two weeks. Any set time under Dan and Deb's roof was stress in itself but the other events had taken their toll. Megan had been a trooper but Nathan wanted to forget.

They were back in Charlotte for a few days but returning to Tree Hill soon was imminent. Meg had needed to get back to work and Nathan had needed some time to himself. She had been agitated lately and rightfully so. He wanted to make it up to her.

Nathan first called Laurie, his future mother in law to find out his fiancée's dream meal. After being supplied with the important information, he had called in Anton Davidson, Charlotte's most expensive and famous chef. With the toss of quite a few hundred dollar bills, Anton had agreed to come to the couple's home and prepare dinner.

The table was set and the candles were lit. Nathan looked handsome in pressed khakis and a collared shirt. He waited, tapping his fingers impatiently. Baked French Onion Soup and Stuffed Shrimp were the appetizers. Vegetable Penne was the main course with a side of Cheese Fondue. Crème Brulee was dessert and a bottle of Pinot Noir, Megan's favorite wine sat by the centerpiece.

Finally he heard her pull up. The car parked and the click of her heels reverberated up the cobble stoned sidewalk. She unlocked the door and entered their home.

"Hi."

"Hey", he said softly.

"Nathan, what's all this?"

"I wanted to do something nice for you. I wanted to apologize for all the crap that's been going on lately and I wanted to thank you for standing by me and being so great about everything even though I've been a real ass lately."

"Yeah? Well, you can be a real sweetheart when you want to be, you know that?"

"I love you, Meg. I know we're in a real mess right now with all this divorce stuff but I promise I'm gonna take care of it."

"I know, sweetie", she smiled, taking his hand. "I love you, too."

They sat and ate in sweet silence just enjoying the food and each other's company. Afterwards, Megan began clearing the dishes.

"No, no. I'm sure your day at the office was hard enough, babe. You don't have to come home and work, too. Just relax. Don't worry about cleaning up. Tonight is your night to relax."

He led her by the hand upstairs to the master bathroom where her bubble bath was waiting. Scented candles and rose petals lined the room.

"Nathan, this is too much, babe. I love it but you didn't have to go through so much trouble…"

"It was no trouble at all", he grinned.

"Thank you", she smiled as he helped her undress and climb into their garden tub.

The water felt heavenly and it was like soaking all her troubles away. She could hear Nathan bumbling about in their room and after giving her some alone time to enjoy her bath, he returned with her favorite pink, silk robe and helped her out of the tub. She followed him quietly to bed.

"I love you, Meg", he whispered in the darkness. "God, you're so beautiful. I just want to make love to you."

He kissed the side of her neck, letting his lips brush across the smooth, sensitive skin. She moaned and he began to loosen the straps around her waist that secured the robe.

"Nathan, wait…", Megan protested as he laid her down.

"What's wrong?" he whispered.

"I…I can't."

"Why? What's the matter?"

Meg sighed, sitting up and clutching the robe closed as she turned on the bedside lamp.

"Nathan…"

"You okay? Talk to me, Meg."

"I just can't. I can't make love to you now."

He sighed, obviously disappointed.

"Okay. It's fine. We have the rest of our lives to make love, right?" he smiled. "Maybe tomorrow night when you're in a better mood. We can just lie here and hold each other for now."

"No", she whispered, stroking the masculine jaw line of his face. "You don't understand, baby."

"Megan…"

"I can't tonight. Not tomorrow night either or the night after that, Nathan."

"Why?"

She sighed, looking away.

"I've been thinking about it. I try not to but I can't help it. It's all I think about."

"What?"

"I know it's not your fault and I'm not blaming you but Nathan, for God's sake, you're a married man."

"Meg…"

"Honey, you are. Whether you hate her or you don't want to admit it, that is reality."

"I know, Megan. Damn! Trust me, I know."

"I'm sorry."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

She laughed in spite of herself.

"It has to do with everything. Don't you see that, sweetie? It changes everything."

"How? I'm still the same guy from last week before we knew any of this, Megan. Nothing has changed."

"Everything has changed because now we know and it bothers me. I'm sorry. I feel…dirty, like I'm sleeping with another woman's husband."

"Oh Megan for Christ's sake", Nathan angrily threw his hands up in the air.

"I can't help it."

"Fine. What am I supposed to do?"

"I know you have your lawyers on it and hopefully it will all be resolved soon. Until then…"

"Until then what?"

"Nathan, I don't want fight, okay?"

"We're not fighting. Just tell me what happens until then."

"I'm sorry…"

He smirked bitterly.

"I guess I better start downloading the porno and greasing up my right hand, huh?"

"Nathan!"

"Just don't, okay?"

"Can we at least talk?"

"About what, Meg? Sounds like your mind is made up anyway."

"Are you mad?"

"Damn right."

"I can't believe you're getting so pissed off about sex", she stated.

"I'm angry about the sex but it's more than that. You're being ridiculous!"

"Oh really? Well, I beg to differ, Mr. Scott."

"Whatever. This is just fucking peachy! I can't get rid of that bitch! She continues to ruin my life! I swear, she's like herpes! The gift that keeps on giving!"

"Nathan, stop it. Please…"

"Why? I wake up this morning and turn on MTV and they're playing one of her videos? What the fuck? MTV never plays videos anymore and the one day at the one moment I wake up and flip to that channel, guess who is there?"

"Nate…"

"Wait, Meg it gets better. I hop in my truck to go to the gym and who is on the radio? How is that for a nice little coincidence? Then I stop by the 7-11 for a Gatorade and whose face is on a magazine cover? Now, my fiancée refuses to have sex with me because of her!"

"Nathan…

He ran over to their window and opened it, shouting at the top of his lungs.

"Thanks a lot, you bitch!"

"Nathan Daniel Scott", Megan yelled pulling him away from the window and shutting it. "You are going to wake the dead! God, the neighbors must think you're crazy because I know I do."

"What? Just thanking the bitch…"

"Stop! Stop calling her that!"

"Why? Are you having dinner with her later? Are you two going shopping this weekend? I mean, what the hell, Meg?"

She shook her head.

"I can't deal with you when you're like this", she said, grabbing her pillow.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from you."

"Meg!"

"What? Leave me alone, Nathan. I'm sleeping in the guest bedroom tonight."

Nathan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He hated losing control like that but he couldn't help it. Anger got the best of him sometimes.

"Megan, I'm sorry, okay? Look, I…"

"I don't want to hear it."

"Meg!"

His response was a slamming door. Cursing to himself, he collapsed on the bed. Nathan was at his wit's end and he didn't know if he could take much more. Something had to give…soon.


	15. Crazy Girls

It was supposed to be a day off but being at home alone with just overpowering silence and a moody cat was overwhelming for Haley. Her visit with Lucas 72 hours before had unnerved her and how could it not? The news was unbelievable. Haley couldn't believe it. After all the years spent apart they really weren't apart…at least not legally. They had been married and still were. It was shocking. It was confusing. A tiny piece of her was almost glad. Despite everything that had gone down between them she still had a part of him. Also, if there was no annulment at least a divorce would prove the union existed at one time. It would no longer be a distant memory that lived on in a buried section of her weary heart.

So Haley went to the one place that always had been home for her. She went to the studio. She arrived with a torn and battered notebook that cost less than a dollar but it contained pages and pages of her innermost thoughts and feelings. It was therapy. Some of the words would somehow morph themselves into songs. Writing diligently and strumming random chords, she began composing the song, "Crazy Girls". It was a reflection of her life at the time.

After hours and hours, exhausted she decided to return home. The sky had darkened into night but the heavy clouds that had loomed all afternoon finally gave way sprinkling the city with a summer shower. She dashed from the car to her building but the droplets still managed to soak through her clothes. Fumbling with the key, she entered the loft. Her cat, a stray she had found lurking outside the studio, CAT (pronounced Seeaytee) purred appreciatively as the owner smiled and gave her tummy a light scratch.

"Hi baby. You miss me?" Haley cooed.

"Little sis!"

Haley screamed out loud. To her surprise and dismay was one of her older (and least favorite) sisters, Taylor. The pretty strawberry blonde had made herself comfortable in Haley's terrycloth robe and a towel was wrapped around her freshly shampooed and conditioned locks.

"Tay, what are you doing here?" Haley frowned.

"I was just hanging out and I felt like seeing my baby sister. Gosh, look at you!" Taylor hugged her.

"How did you get in here?"

"Alvin, your doorman is a sweetheart. He totally loves me."

"Remind me to kill, Alvin", Haley muttered.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that one, Haley-bub."

Ignoring her childhood family nickname, Haley brushed past Taylor into the kitchen where she reached for the remnants of her Tofu salad.

"Tofu, huh?" Taylor smirked. "Wow, are we into the whole vegan lifestyle now?"

"No. Shut up, Tay. Damn! It's just Tofu. Chris brought it over and…"

"Ah, Chris Keller, the brooding, hottie musician. How could I forget?"

"No, Taylor, how could you forget when you slept with him?"

Taylor smiled sheepishly.

"Oh yeah. That. It wasn't that memorable, trust me. You definitely didn't miss much, if you know what I mean. That is, unless you have, shall I say, new personal knowledge."

"No. I did not sleep with Chris. It isn't like that. We're just friends."

"Okay, okay."

"At least one of us can keep our legs closed."

"Low blow, little sis", Taylor scoffed. "I'm hurt but I'll let that one go considering you haven't gotten laid since the Mesozoic era."

"Try spelling Mesozoic."

"Damn! I see the bitch switch is at an all time high. Dude, what is wrong with you? What's your problem?"

"You're my problem, Tay!"

"I just got here."

"And I'm sure you're ready to start trouble if you haven't already."

"Gee, thanks for the love."

"Don't give me that. Where are you coming from now?"

Haley was furious. The marital situation was weighing in heavily and now the unexpected and dreaded visit was pushing her over the edge. She did love Taylor but the older girl was a known trouble maker. She lied at random, slept with anybody she pleased, and drank like a fish. Haley had even tried to help her out once by hiring her as a personal assistant but what good was an assistant who refused to assist? Taylor had no sense of time and no respect for rules. It hadn't worked out and out of sheer exasperation mixed with a little bit of tough love, Haley had kicked her out. Still Hurricane Taylor would breeze in ever so often looking for a place to crash and some cash to spend.

"St. Louis."

"St. Louis? What the hell is in St. Louis?"

"I had some friends there. We were partying. It was cool for a while but you know me…"

"Yeah, I do", Haley rolled her eyes. "I thought you were down in Houston."

"I was."

"And before that Chicago."

"Yeah."

"What now, Tay? What's next?"

"Miami", Taylor smiled broadly.

"What's in Miami?"

"South Beach! Come on. It's the place to be. It's gonna be a blast. Hey, you should come with me."

"No thanks."

"Why not? We'd have so much fun."

"I said no!"

"Okay. Geez! Bite my head off, why don't you? Damn! You are really being a big meanie. Even more evil than usual. What's up? If this is about Chris, I'm sorry, okay? It was one time and we were drunk and…"

"Seems to be the story of your life."

"Ouch! I take it this newfound hostility stems from a certain unforgettable incident with someone's ex husband…"

Haley cringed. Before she had ever met Nathan, it seemed he had lost his virginity to Taylor James at a drunken high school party held at the Scott beach house.

"Don't go there."

"Haley bub, let it go! I slept with him, you slept with him, big deal, right? It's over. You haven't seen him in like forever and I heard he's getting married to the governor's daughter anyway."

"Congressman."

"Whatever. And since when do you keep up on current events in Nathan Scott's life?" Taylor teased.

"Since I found out I am still his wife", Haley blurted out.

Taylor's smile quickly faded.

"Oh God. You're not joking, are you?"

"I wish I were" Haley sighed, plopping down.

Taylor waltzed into the kitchen and returned seconds later with a half gallon of Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream and two spoons.

"Big sis and Haagen Daaz are here to the rescue. Now tell me everything."

"The annulment didn't go through. My attorney didn't meet North Carolina's deadline and paperwork was misfiled and blah, blah, blah. The computer caught it when he applied for a license with his new fiancée. And apparently the grounds for annulment have expired or whatever. The only option is divorce but we must legally separate for one whole year, not counting the almost 7 we have spent avoiding each other like the plague."

"Haley, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. Lucas came up a few days ago. He is the one that explained everything to me. Nathan's attorneys are searching for a way to end this thing as quickly and painlessly as possible but so far it's a no go."

"Wow."

"Then he had the nerve to actually suggest I go to Tree Hill! Can you believe that?"

"Why?"

"I don't know. Try to brainstorm on a solution."

"What did you tell him?"

"No, of course! And he was so mad. He lays this horrendous guilt trip on me before he stormed out. He hates me, Nathan hates me…hell, everybody in Tree Hill hates me. After all these years I'm supposed to go back?"

"They don't hate you, Haley. They're just hurt. They didn't understand your decision."

"Did you?" Haley asked softly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. It was your dream. It was an amazing opportunity. I know I'm the wrong one to ask for life and live advice but you did what you had to do. I respect that. You didn't do anything wrong, Hay."

"Then why does it feel like I did? Why does everyone continue to make me feel that way?"

"The problem was Chris. It was always Chris. People thought you ran off with him. Hell, baby girl, even I had my doubts at first. But I've spent time with you since then here in New York and even on tour. I see you and him and I know nothing is going on. For you it was just about the music. Others don't see that. You just made a choice, that's all."

"Exactly but I shouldn't have had to. Why couldn't I have Nathan and the music?"

"I don't know, kid", Taylor sighed. "Look, I know what it's like to constantly search for something more. That's why I've been running my whole life but Haley I never had a guy like Nathan to come home to. We all make choices. But look at your life. Your life is great. Maybe this is what was meant for you. Maybe being Nathan's wife wasn't."

"Are you going to go?"

"I don't know", she shook her head.

"Pretty scary stuff, huh? Facing all that stuff again."

"Terrifying", Haley sighed.

"Phantoms from the past?"

Haley closed her tired eyes and tried to figure out the next move

"You have no idea", she whispered. "The ghosts are all around me."


	16. Almost Home

The taxi pulled up to the front of the apartment complex.

"The meter's running, lady", the cabbie impatiently informed her.

"I'll only be a minute", she sighed. "Do you mind waiting?"

"Your dime", he shrugged.

She stepped out of the car and walked up to the stairs. She hadn't been there in years but it felt like just yesterday. She remembered the very first time she climbed those steps…and the very last time she walked down them.

With a pounding heart, she walked up to the door and knocked. A few seconds late, a woman with long, dark hair opened the door cautiously.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, um, actually you can. I'm really sorry to bother you but I was wondering if I could see the inside of your apartment. I know this sounds crazy and I promise I'm not a knife wielding maniac. I used to live here a very long time ago."

The girls eyes widened with star struck recognition.

"I know you. Oh my God. You're her. You're Haley James."

Haley sighed with a smile.

"Guilty as charged."

"Hi. I'm Sunmer. My husband, Joey, is at work right now and I swear he's never going to believe this. Please come in."

"Thank you", Haley said, walking in.

The place had seen a paint job or two but for the most part, it looked the same. She stared at the space where her couch used to be and it was like being taken back in time.

_It was the night after their wedding. Reality had just set in. She was someone's wife. She loved him and she wanted to marry him but it had been too easy. 40 bucks and her parents' signature. Just like that, her childhood was gone. She loved him desperately but it was scary. Look how everyone had acted, even Lucas and Karen. And Deb! Deb had been so pissed! She had turned on Haley in a matter of seconds. It was as if the whole world was against them._

_She had gone home to get the rest of her things. CDs and clothes and such. As she gathered her belongings and turned off the light, the room looked so empty. Her mom and dad hugged her and she managed a smile but she was dying inside._

_She wanted to go upstairs and study. Instead, they were taking her to her new apartment. They dropped her off and she went inside. He left a note saying he was at the River Court playing ball. In his absence, she cleaned up a little and finished putting her clothes away. Then it was time to organize the CDs and she alphabetized them in her neurotic state. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks. The tears fell and she thought they might never stop._

"_Haley. What's wrong?" Nathan asked concerned when he returned home._

"_Um…I was just alphabetizing our CDs and um…we don't have any doubles. Not one. So, 'Natalie Merchant' after 'Nas' and 'Wilco' before the 'Wu-Tang Clan'?"_

_It seemed a minor thing to bring her to such tears and he almost wanted to chuckle but looking on the table he saw her wedding band and suddenly there was nothing funny about the matter.'_

"_So you listen to crummy music. I can live with that", he tried to joke._

"_We made a mistake Nathan", she said sadly._

"_Haley…"_

"_No. I'm, I'm not ready for this. I just, I just really want to go home to my _

_room. You know, I'm not a wife. I'm not even a senior!"_

_She was damned near hysterical._

"_Haley. Haley, listen this is not a mistake."_

"_How can you be sure?" she cried. " Because there is nobody that thinks this thing can work."_

"_I do", he said picking up her wedding ring and tenderly placing it back on her finger. "I promise you Haley. I will always be there for you. I will always protect you. Okay? I will always protect you. Always."_

_And she looked in his eyes and saw the truth of his promise. She saw her whole future._

"Miss James, can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine. And please, call me Haley. I just wanted to look around. The place looks the same. I love the kitchen. I used to cook in this kitchen."

Haley closed her eyes and she imagined the apron tied around her as she stirred a pot of whatever, Nathan a few feet away, clumsily trying to be of some assistance.

"That's so cool. I can't believe I cook in the same kitchen Haley James used to. That is so awesome! I love your music! I hate to sound like a dork but if it isn't too much trouble, would you mind autographing one of your CDs?"

"No problem", Haley complied. "That's the least I could do after barging in here and imposing on your time."

"It's no imposition really. Anything else you want to see? The bedroom maybe?"

Haley froze. No! She couldn't go in there. It was too much. Too painful. Too many memories. Nathan had proposed there. He had taken her virginity there on their wedding night. They had shared breakfast in bed and laughs and many happy times. It was sacred. Her heart couldn't bear to revisit it.

"Um, no. Thanks. I've taken up enough of your time. My cab is waiting…"

"Okay. It was a real pleasure to meet you."

"Thank you."

"Stop by anytime. You gonna be in town, long?"

Haley took a deep breath and put her sunglasses on.

"I don't know", she sighed. "Depends. I've got important business to attend to."


	17. Welcome Back, James

"Mom, can we go to the park?"

Peyton sighed. There was no time for the park. She felt horrible. She had warned Jake that they better find a nice camp to occupy their daughter's time but it was a task he had put off and put off until it was too late. Summer had arrived and school was out for break, leaving a certain only child bored, restless and strapped for company.

"Kiddo, I don't think we'll make it today. I'm sorry."

"Why?" Jenny whined.

"I am swamped with work and…"

"You're always working", the little girl complained.

Peyton felt horrible. Jenny was right but starting a new business hadn't been easy. It was time consuming and a little overwhelming at times. Peyton had put all her blood, sweat, tears and not to mention money into Club Tric and although relatively successful, she and Jules were on their toes to ensure it remained that way.

Peyton was proud of her new venture but it had come at a cost. Family. Jake and Jenny Jagielski were everything to her. Although she hadn't given birth to the girl, she was the most stable female figure in her life considering the biological mother, Nikki, who harbored the reliability and responsibility of a cockroach, made only sporadic appearances in the child's life. Peyton had always prided herself at being a hands on "mom". She baked cookies and brought covered dishes for potlucks. She was there at every ballet recital and soccer game and had somehow become a card carrying member of the PTA. Jenny's needs had always come first and she and Jake had always managed to be there, even through the hectic schedules of college. Establishing careers had taken its toll and Jenny, used to having 100 percent access to her parents, was growing weary.

"Toots, I have a lot of stuff today that just can't wait but I promise we'll hit the park tomorrow, okay? What about Marissa? Want to see if she can come over today?"

"She's on vacation with her grandparents", the girl sighed.

"Amber?"

"Amber's grounded."

"Tiffany?"

"Tiff went to camp."

Peyton sighed as she made the turn onto their street. Pulling into the driveway of their townhouse sat a taxi cab. The door opened and Peyton's heart dropped.

"Mom, who is that?"

"Long time, no see, huh?"

"Haley…"

The women looked at each other, the element of surprise hindering any action at first. Then Peyton walked slowly and a pair of old friends embraced warmly.

"It's so good to see you."

"Haley, oh my God! What are you doing here?"

"I'm in town", she shrugged. "I have no idea for how long but there's some stuff I have to take care of. Sorry I didn't call first but I really wanted to see you."

"Well, come in. We can sit, have coffee, talk…"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Come on", the blonde prodded.

For the first time Haley noticed the brown haired child with the button nose.

"Hey", she kneeled down. "You must be Jenny."

"Hi", the child said shyly.

"Wow. I haven't seen you since you were a baby. You got big! And you're so pretty. Gosh, you probably don't remember me, huh?"

"You're Haley", Jenny answered. "I don't remember but Mom and Dad have pictures of you back when you guys were in school and I have your CDs."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I like your music. Can you autograph them for me?"

"Jenny!" Peyton admonished.

"It's okay. Of course I'll sign an autograph for you, sweetie."

The three entered the townhouse and Haley took a seat at the island in the kitchen where Jenny kept her entertained nonstop as Peyton put on a pot of coffee.

"Jen, look honey, I know you have a ton of stuff you want to tell Haley but I need to talk to her for a minute. Why don't you go upstairs to your room and we'll be up in a bit…"

"Aw, Mom! Do I have to? It's boring up there and…"

"Jenny, what did I say?"

"It's okay, sweetie", Haley smiled. "Listen to your mother and we'll come up when we're done and listen to music and I'll sign your CD. How does that sound?"

"Fine", the child stalked off, pouty and still not totally convinced.

"Sorry about that. It's summer and not many of her friends are around and we didn't sign up for camp in time and with Jake and me working, it's a mess. She gets bored."

"I understand. It's fine", Haley sipped her coffee. "I just can't believe how big she got. I was expecting to see that same little baby."

"Baby no more", Peyton shrugged. "They grow up fast."

"Well, she's beautiful."

"Thanks but uh…I find it hard to believe after all these years you show up in Tree Hill out of the blue just to visit with Jenny and me. What's up? What brings you back, Haley?"

Haley sighed before answering.

"You mean you don't know? I thought everyone would know by now that it turns out I'm still Mrs. Nathan Scott."

"Oh yeah. That", Peyton shifted uncomfortably. "Jake and I did hear about that. Um, how do you feel about that?"

Haley shrugged.

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't. I am shocked. I mean, you and I have talked about my decision to go on tour and at times I felt like you and Karen were the only ones who remotely understood. I never saw choosing the music as rejecting Nathan but I guess in his mind it was different. I know I hurt him but he hurt me too. It's like my life with him and my friendship with you guys and everything that ever happened in Tree Hill is just some memory. I gained a new life but I lost an old one too and that hurts. Peyton, I accepted a long time ago that Nate and I were done. I thought it was over. I had to deal with that and move on and I did the best I knew how, but to find out all these years later that I'm still his wife and always have been…it's wild. Surreal. I mean, how would you feel?"

Peyton shook her head.

"I can't imagine what you're going through."

"It's hard. I want to handle it. I want it quick and painless for everyone but I'm not exactly sure how to fix it."

"Have you seen Nathan yet?"

"No."

"Does he even know you're in town, Haley?"

"No", she took a deep breath.

"Haley! He's going to find out. You know how news travels around here."

"I know."

"You plan to see him, right?"

"That's the whole point. My lawyer flies in tomorrow night. I guess we'll arrange a meeting and try to figure stuff out."

"Are you scared? I mean, what's that going to be like facing him for the first time after all these years?"

"I'm terrified, Pey. I have no idea what's gonna happen. But I do know how Nathan handles things when he's pissed off or hurt. And I do know Papa Dan and Mama Deb. That combination could be lethal. I'm just trying to brace myself because I know it won't be pretty. You know, I've spent so much time trying to figure out how Nathan feels when I just realized I don't even know how I feel about the situation. I have no idea how I'm going to react seeing him again after so long."

"Haley, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, you know? I just hope it all works out."

"Me too."

"When you left with Chris for the tour, I defended your decision. I tried to understand but it was hard seeing Nathan hurting so bad. Especially after you admitted to me that Chris had kissed you and everything. I didn't know what to think. And when you didn't come back…well, that hurt me. We grew pretty close over junior year. I was happy for your success because you're so talented and you deserve it but at the same time, it's like you turned your back on Tree Hill and everything associated with it. I think a lot of people felt that way."

"That's not the case, Peyton. I regret the way I did some things but everything happened so fast and I was just a kid…it was hard. I'm sorry."

Peyton managed a smile.

"It's done with now. That was a long time ago. We can't change the past."

"I guess not."

"But we can change the future. Maybe I didn't understand your decision but I always respected it. I'm not going to judge you and I'll always be here for you. I know these next few days are going to be tough."

"Thanks", Haley hugged her.

The second embrace was warmer and more genuine. It felt good. It brought back a lot of memories. Before they knew it, both women were crying softly.

"See what you did, dude?" Peyton laughed, dabbing at her eyes and passing Haley a tissue. "You're getting me all emotional all over here."

"I missed you."

"Yeah? I missed you, too."

"What do you say we get ourselves together and go up and see Jenny? After that, we'll talk and play catch up."

"Sounds like a plan."

"Awesome. I have some time. I just need to drop my stuff off at the hotel…"

"Hotel."

"Yeah. I got something on the outskirts of town. Quiet, low key…"

"Why don't you stay here with us?"

"Pey, I couldn't. I mean, thanks but…"

"But what?"

"I don't want to impose."

"It's no imposition. We have the room."

"Jake…"

"Jake won't mind and Jenny would love it."

"Look, I know when Nathan and I split, a lot of it came down to taking sides. I looked like the bad guy and I wasn't even around to defend the fact that I wasn't. All you guys saw was Nathan falling apart and me on TV with Chris and Michelle Branch. I know you were all there for him and I'm glad but now that I'm back…Nathan is not going to be happy. When this is all over, I go back to New York but you're the ones left to deal with the Scott wrath. That's not fair. I don't want to put anyone in the middle."

"You won't. We want you here. That's why I offered. Nathan is my friend and I love him, cockiness, moodiness and all the other flaws. I also love Megan, too. She is a great person. But that doesn't mean I can't be your friend, either. That wouldn't be right."

"But Nathan…"

"Nathan will just have to deal with it. Now I'm not taking no for an answer. We'll go up, see Jenny and then get you situated here, okay?"

Haley smiled.

"Do I have a choice?"

Peyton thought for a minute.

"No. Non negotiable deal, dude."

"Thank you", Haley took her hand.

"Welcome back, James. Welcome back."


	18. You Are Now Entering The Lion's Den

Megan frowned as she reached into her Louis Vuitton handbag searching for her cell phone. It was nowhere to be found and she was expecting an important call from her office. The secretary didn't have the Scott's number in Tree Hill.

"Damn, I hope I didn't leave it in Charlotte", Megan groaned. "I've been so scatterbrained lately."

"You sure you didn't leave it in your suitcase or upstairs, honey?" Deb asked as she looked around the living room area.

"No, Nathan and I already checked."

"What about the car?"

Megan raised her eyebrows. Ah, the one place that hadn't been searched. She dashed out the front door to Nathan's black prized Lincoln Navigator. Sure enough on the passenger seat was her Nextel flip phone.

"Thank God", she mouthed, retrieving it.

She shut and locked the truck, noticing as a familiar Ford Explorer drove up. Instinctively she smiled and waved, expecting to see a mass of blonde curls behind the wheel and a smiley eight year old in the front seat. The vehicle stopped and the driver stepped out slowly. Meg's heart caught in her throat. She knew the petite auburn haired woman though only from photos. She had wondered about her for a while. Wondered what she was like. Now they were face to face. The fiancée and the soon to be ex wife.

Haley's heart pounded. A sharp pain seared through her temples. Her flushed skin was clammy, just adding moisture to already sweaty palms. Her nerves were jangled and the butterflies in her stomach were doing flip flops. She was afraid she was making a mistake. She had started to turn Peyton's SUV around several times but somehow she continued forward in her journey headed straight into the lion's den.

She could see her from the beginning of the driveway. She wore a light green tank top and designer jeans that clung to the lower half of her small frame. Sandals were the shoes of choice and she wore no make up except for a little mascara and lip gloss, sunglasses perched atop her head. The blonde locks had been haphazardly pulled up in messy ponytail, stray pieces blowing in the summer breeze.

A pair of baby blues eyes locked with set of doe brown ones.

Meg's breathing intensified. She looked tinier than she did in pictures. Also her naturally curly hair was closer to a light reddish blonde as opposed to the dark straight look on the cover of her album. On paper her skin appeared tanner as well. Her singing voice was that of a beautiful, confident woman. The image before her was that of a little girl. She wore a simple summer outfit. Just a dark purple tank top and jean miniskirt with flip flops.

"Hi. I'm…"

"Haley. I know who you are", Megan said softly.

"You must be Megan."

"Meg", the blonde extended her hand and Haley shook it.

Then there was awkward silence as the two loves of Nathan Scott's life studied each other.

"I'm really sorry to just show up but I'm in town with my lawyer to get everything settled. I…I don't want to cause trouble."

"It's okay. Um, thank you for coming."

Haley nodded.

"Maybe I should just go…"

"No. It's okay. Come in. Please."

Haley swallowed and reluctantly followed the lead of the pretty blonde who had taken her place. Just being in the house again gave her chills. Nothing had changed.

"Megan, have we solved the mystery of the missing cell phone?" Dan Scott bellowed cheerfully from around the corner.

"Yes, I…"

"I know. I love you dearly but no need to explain. I married a blonde, too. I swear if your head wasn't attached you'd lose that too", he joked.

"Dan…"

The older Scott's smile faded as he looked up and saw that Megan wasn't alone.

"Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in", he smirked.

"Hello, Mr. Scott."

"Mr. Scott? What about Dad? What, are you looking for your husband? I'd say you're oh…six and a half years too late."

"Dan…"

"It's okay. Mr. Scott, I just wanted to let you all know I'm back in town. My lawyer is here as well. I was hoping to schedule a meeting with Nathan and his attorney as soon as possible so we can take care of…"

"The divorce?"

"Yes", she sighed ruefully. "The divorce."

"Well in that case come on in. Hallelujah! Best news I've heard all day. Makes me want to do my happy dance."

"Megan, I…"

Deb stopped dead in her tracks, mouth agape.

"Haley…"

"Mrs. Scott."

"What a…surprise. What are you doing here?"

"I…"

"Mom, is Meg outside?" Nathan came downstairs.

Dan's trademark smirk broadened.

"Come on in, son. We're having ourselves a little family reunion here. You're just in time."

Nathan stood stone faced. Shock. Apprehension. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. All rolled in to one. There she was. She was standing just a few feet away. She was standing next to his fiancée. She had come back.

Nathan had dreamt of that moment ever since that night he had run raggedly for miles trying to get back to their apartment in time to stop her. But when he arrived, she was already gone. Simply vanished. Nothing left but a few clothes, a hint of her flowery perfume and the bracelet from the Cracker Jack box she had left behind.

He had yearned for her. Cried for her. Cursed her. Physically ached for her. He had missed her. He used to love her. In his mind he had imagined her return. He'd be happy. He'd run to her, take her in his arms, hold her, tell her he loved her, never let her go again.

That had all been a fantasy. A dream. It was ages ago. He'd been a boy then. Now he was a man. There would be no happy reunion. No smiles or hugs or tears of joy. No sweet kisses. Once the surprise wore off, he could feel madness that had fueled his insanity for years. She had ruined his life. She left him. She betrayed him. And he hated her for it.

"Nathan…"

"Dad, I thought you took out the garbage already", he said coolly.

"Nathan", Megan closed her eyes. "Don't…"

"What? Meg, I told you about picking up strays."

"Nathan, stop."

"You're right, babe. Where are my manners? I should bow at the foot of the rock star who has graced our presence."

Haley fought back tears. She knew it would be hard. She knew he would be angry. She knew her feelings would probably get hurt. Mentally she had tried to prepare herself for the impending wrath but no amount of preparation in the world for those humiliating, horrifying moments facing the past.

"Nathan, I just wanted to let you know I was back in town. My attorney is here at the hotel. If we could, can we schedule a meeting with your lawyers?"

"You mean to start this divorce thing and get you the hell out of my life for good? I'd say fuck yeah."

She couldn't take it anymore. It was more horrible and frightening than she could ever have imagined. She wanted to cry. To run away again. She could look in his eyes and see pure hatred.

"Fine. If you can just give me a number where to reach him or her…"

"Here", Dan tossed a couple of business cards at her.

"Well, I guess I'll be on my way then."

"Good. Getting back to the hotel to discuss strategy with your little lawyer? Just make sure that jackhole makes it to the meeting on time considering his disregard for deadlines it was got us all into this stupid mess in the first place."

"Actually son, it was your desperation, poor judgment and overall lack of taste."

"Thanks Dad. Rub it in, why don't you? We all make mistakes. I plead temporary insanity."

"It's okay. We all go slumming every now and then."

"I guess so. Well we don't want to be rude and keep you any longer. I'm sure your attorney and your little boyfriend, Chris Keller, are back at the hotel waiting for you."

"Dan! Nathan! That's enough", Deb shifted uncomfortably.

Haley shook her head as she turned to walk away.

"I guess we'll all continue this little love fest later, then. As always, Scotts, it has been a real pleasure", she said quietly.

"Hey Haley", Dan called out. "Don't even think about taking my boy's assests. You gave that up a long time ago, sweetheart."

"I don't want anything from you or Nathan. I just want this to be over."

With that, she let herself out. Quickening her pace to Peyton's truck she vowed not to let the tears fall until after she was well onto the road. It was a battle she was on the verge of losing.

"Haley! Haley, wait! Please!"

Who was following her out? Meg!

"Please. I just want to leave. I refuse to stand here and be insulted any longer."

"And you shouldn't have to. I don't blame you. Those guys are assholes for what they did and said in there. I don't know what got into them, Nathan and Dan. I'm really, really sorry."

"Whatever. It's not your fault."

"I feel bad. Look, I don't know you but…"

"I'm sure you've heard the horror stories", Haley laughed bitterly.

"I have. Listen, I don't know what all happened back then but it's done now, right? It's time to get over the past and move on. I appreciate you coming down here and trying to help resolve this. I just hope we can get everything taken care of without anymore of what just happened."

"Yeah…me, too."

"I'm sorry, Haley. Really I am."

She just nodded as she climbed in the truck and the tears began to flow freely.


	19. That's What Friends Are For

There was a soft knock on the door and Jake and Peyton exchanged glances and sighed. Jenny and her attitude had been out of control all day. It had started with getting smart with Jake at breakfast , then not cleaning her room, sneaking and spilling soda at lunch when Peyton had told her she could only have milk, pouting all evening and then her steadfast refusal to go to bed.

Her parents were in their room behind closed doors, consumed with work as usual. Jake was going over notes for an upcoming briefing he had to give and Peyton was in a tailspin due to the fact her live musical act for Tric that week had quit abruptly and without explanation.

"What is with her?" Peyton groaned.

"I can't believe this", Jake sighed. "She's doing it for attention. Just ignore her."

More knocking.

"Got a plan B, genius?" the woman smirked.

"What am I supposed to do? Spank her, Peyton? Ground her?"

"Something because our daughter is being a major brat and I'm tired of being the only one disciplining her."

The knocking persisted.

"Come in, Jen", Jake said, exasperated.

The little girl opened the door, arms folded, frown in place.

"What's the deal, Toots? It's way past your bedtime."

"Mom, I can't sleep."

"Nice try, Jen", Jake looked at his little girl. "Baby, it's late, you need to be in bed and Mom and I have a ton of work to do."

"Daddy, I'm trying to sleep but I can't."

"Why not?"

"Haley. She won't stop crying. I can hear her sniffling through the walls."

The two adults looked at each other.

"Alright. You tuck Jenny in again and I'll go do the same for Haley", Peyton instructed as she slipped out of bed.

She walked a few feet down the hall to the guest room and knocked.

"Hales?"

Haley dabbed at her running nose from the other side.

"Yes?"

"It's me, kid. Can I come in?"

"Sure", she tried to regain her composure.

Peyton entered cautiously and sat down on the bed.

"You okay? Want to talk about?"

"It's nothing."

"Doesn't look or sound like nothing. Even Jenny heard you."

"Oh gosh. I'm sorry, Pey…"

"It's okay. Just tell me what happened."

"I made a mistake. Another one. A huge one but what else is new, right?"

"What did you do?"

"I thought that Nathan and I could handle things like civil grown ups so I tried to be courteous and let him know that I was in town and so was my lawyer and we wanted to meet."

"It didn't go well, huh?"

"Well? Try awful!"

"What did he say?"

"What didn't he say?"

"So he wasn't very nice, I take it."

"He was a real prince if you take away the yelling, the name calling and insults. And not to mention Dan…"

"Oh no."

"It was the single most horrific and humiliating moment of my entire life."

"I'm sorry. I had no idea. You don't deserve to be treated that way."

"I'm not stupid. I knew he'd be angry. I knew it wouldn't be pleasant but I had no idea…God, he was horrible! His eyes were so cold and his tone and…I can't describe it. I have never been looked at like that before. I have never seen him like that before. It was scary. He hates me."

"I wish I knew what to say. I wish I had an explanation. It's the pain but that's no excuse, I know."

"I was so nervous. Peyton, it had been so long. And I saw her first."

"Who, Meg?"

Haley nodded.

"Yes."

"Yikes. Makes for a creepy intro. How was that?"

"Weird. Not bad but definitely weird. She was…nice. I don't know, it seemed genuine."

"That's just the kind of girl she is."

"We talked and she invited me and like a dumb ass, I went and it was downhill from there."

"What now?"

"Oliver is in town. He checked into a hotel in town early this afternoon. We have a meeting with Nathan and his lawyers tomorrow morning."

"You have to go?"

"Yeah."

"You up to it?"

"I don't have a choice, do I? I just hope this gets taken care of. I don't know if I can take much more, Pey."

"This is gonna sound so lame but the best I can offer is, be strong."

"I will. I have to be in order to survive this mess."

"It's going to be okay. Somehow things will all just work out."

"I hope so. Thanks. Sorry to disturb you guys with all this."

"It's okay. We weren't sleeping. Jake was working and I was dealing with my own work nightmares."

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing too important…"

"Peyton…"

"My live act quit. It sucks. Jules and I have been searching for a replacement but it's a real headache."

"When?"

"This weekend."

"I'll do it."

Peyton was stunned.

"I can't ask you to do that, Hales."

"You didn't. I offered."

"With all that's happening, are you sure you'll be up to it?"

"I'll be okay. Besides, music is my therapy."

"I don't want to trudge up old memories. I know that's where all this kind of started back before Jules and I bought the club from Deb and Karen…"

"It's cool. Music is what I do. It's my love. And you helped give me the courage to pursue a dream. And you're letting me crash here? Dude, I owe you. One set for one night is the least I can do. It's no bother, really. I'd be honored."

"Won't it be weird? Singing there again? Seeing everybody?"

"Yeah but uh…I can handle it. I'm prepared. Hey, if I survived today…"

"Well, trust me that won't happen again. Not on my watch and not in my club."

"Thank you."

Peyton smiled, relieved.

"Dude, you know we totally can't afford to pay you your regular performance fee, right?"

"Just put it on my tab", Haley winked.

The girls shared a laugh and another warm hug.

"Thank you. I mean it. I can't thank you enough for saving our asses."

"It's okay. As I recall you've saved my ass a couple of times over the years", Haley smiled. "Besides…that's what friends are for."


	20. Viva Dominica

Haley's heart thumped wildly as she mentally prepared herself to set foot in the meeting that would ultimately change her life.

"You okay?" Oliver, her attorney, whispered.

"I'm fine. I just hope they're not here already waiting on us."

"We're not late", he checked his watch.

"No, I don't mean that. I just wanted to get here first, if you know what I mean."

He did. He had heard all about the events of the previous day and it had infuriated him to no end. They had no right and he would not stand for any more of the Scott family and their bullying.

They stepped in front of the double wooden doors that led to the large, private conference room at Dan's dealership. So much for a neutral setting. Originally the offer had been to have the meeting take place at the Scott home but Oliver had steadfastly refused. Reluctantly he had settled for a location at Dan Scott Motors.

"You ready for this, Haley?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

Her heels clicked a little louder than she wanted them to on the perfectly finished marble coated floor and she struggled to keep her head up as they entered the room. Waiting like a pack of wolves were two attorneys, Nathan, Megan, Dan and Deb.

"Wow, they actually showed up on time", Dan quipped. "How about that?"

Haley closed her eyes. It was starting already.

"And who might you be, sir?"

"Daniel Scott", he smirked. "And you're Oliver."

"You can call me Mr. Rout."

The shit eating grin quickly disappeared from Dan's face.

"Mr. Rout, is it?"

"Yes. Now, I take it Counsel is present to represent the interests of Mr. Nathan Scott. Mr. Hill and Mr. Adams, correct?"

The two men nodded.

"Very well, gentlemen. Let's get down to business. I spoke with Mr. Adams on the telephone and it is accurate to say that we have spent a considerable amount of time respectively combing over laws in order to expedite the matter of Scott versus Scott."

"Yes, Mr. Rout", Adams began. "I received your fax on the Samson versus Samson case a few years ago with similar circumstances so I filed an emergency petition for immediate absolute divorce with Family Court last night but my secretary has advised me that the judge ruled against our motion."

"What the hell does that mean?" Nathan snorted.

"It means that quite possibly that was our last hope unless anyone has any other options to bring to the table. Mr. Adams? Mr. Hill?"

The two men shook their heads to indicate no. Nathan cursed out loud as Megan and Deb sighed.

"Let's get this show on the road", Dan started again. "It can't be that hard. As you all can see, I'm in the car business. I have quite a successful deal going on her if I may say so myself. I see this little predicament much like an auto sale and I am very customer oriented. That's what has allowed me to make it this far. A kid comes in looking to trade his old, beat up, unreliable Buick for a shiny new sports car that's all pretty and classy and sophisticated and ready to take on any bump in the road. Now I know anxious that kid is to move on with his life and get rid of the old and get on with the new. It's my job to make sure that happens. I get paid six figures to do so. Now it's no secret you gentlemen are being compensated quite handsomely as well so l expect the same caliber of service."

"Mr. Scott, I kindly ask that you keep your editorials to yourself", Oliver instructed.

Dan looked surprised before laughing haughtily.

"Are you talking to me, son? You're a big shot Yankee lawyer but you have no idea just who you're dealing with, do you?"

"It is my understanding these proceedings deal directly with the dissolution of marriage between Nathan and Haley Scott. Nowhere in my notes is it annotated that Daniel Scott has anything to do with it."

"Your point?"

"This is none of your business, sir."

"Au contraire. Everything that happens in this damned town is my business especially when it comes to my family."

"Maybe in your world but I suggest you take a reality check real quick. Legally you have no standing and your insults and smart alec comments are not helping matters. If you cannot control yourself like a civilized adult, then I will ask that you be removed from these proceedings."

"Oh I'd like to see you try, buddy."

"Mr. Adams, Mr. Hill…"

Haley couldn't take it anymore. The bickering had commenced.

"Please everyone stop."

"Oh shut your selfish little mouth, Haley", Dan shouted. "This is all your fault. You took advantage of my boy and coerced him into filing for emancipation and then marrying you. Then you broke, what would be a heart if we Scott men had one, by running off on the first tour bus that came through Tree Hill with your new little punk boyfriend. Then you hire an idiot for a layer who couldn't even turn in a simple piece of paper on time. You have ruined Nathan's life and we need to fix this mess before it's too late. Save the Mary Poppins Mother Teresa peacemaking routine."

"That's it", Oliver shook his head. "Mr. Hill, I respectfully ask that your client and the others not pertaining to this matter be removed from litigation."

"You don't instruct me to do anything, Sonny", Dan sneered.

"This is bullshit!" Nathan claimed.

"Nathan…"

"Everybody just shut the hell up for a minute!" Haley yelled, standing up. "Look, I can't do this anymore. This isn't getting anybody anywhere. Nathan, obviously you want to divorce me and believe me, it's no picnic being married to you either so I'd say the common goal here is to end this thing as soon as possible. All our lawyers have been working night and day looking for a way out and so far legally, we're at the end of our rope and no closer to a solution. Well, I think I have something."

"Haley?" Oliver questioned.

"No, it's okay. Listen, I didn't want to bring this up but now I don't think we have any other choice. I did some research on bifurcated divorces. It's legal and it can be processed in a few days. The only thing is, it has to be done in the Dominican Republic."

"Mail order divorces?" Nathan asked with a smirk. "I've heard it all. Nice try, Rock Star. We do a quickie divorce in the Dominican Republic probably from some dumb website you found and in a few months or God forbid years, I find out that I'm still married to your ass? No fucking thanks."

"Nathan, wait", Meg interjected. "I've heard about these. Haley, how is it processed?"

"Since it's non contested, an immediate order will be filed. The decree then gets translated into English by an official Judicial Interpreter, the Interpreter's signature is certified again by the Procuraduria, of the Dominican Republic and the Procuraduria's signature gets verified by the Consular Section of the Ministry of Foreign Relations. The Ministry's signature is certified by the corresponding International Consulate and therefore it's recognized in the U.S. One weekend, quick and painless and it's over."

"Hell no."

"Nathan, maybe you should consider it, sweetie", Deb offered.

"No! It's the dumbest idea I ever heard."

"Nathan, it's our only choice, babe", Megan prodded gently.

"No!"

"Nathan, actually Ms. James has a point", Mr. Adams stated.

"So it's valid, legal and quick?" Dan asked.

"Yes."

"Don't be a fool, son. One weekend won't kill you. We're talking about the rest of your life here. Just do it. It's worth it."

Nathan sighed.

"Sweetie, come on. We'll go, take care of this and it'll be over. It's not a bad idea and it's our only option. Please", Megan practically begged.

"Fine. If it will end this nightmare, then whatever."

Haley breathed a sigh of relief. The problem had been solved. Finally it would end and everything would be okay. She should have felt a level of comfort but it wouldn't come. There would be no comfort until it was over. Comfort would then bring closure. Haley welcomed closure. She needed it. She needed something, anything other than the icy glare coming from the pair of eyes that had once loved her but now hated her with far more passion.


	21. Tric'd

Peyton gave a relieved smile. The club was filled to its capacity, the drinks were flowing and Mouth McFadden was rocking the deejay booth as usual. From across the room, Jules gave her a thumbs up and a smile and Peyton relaxed. It would be a good night somehow. At the end of the bar sat Jake, the smiling calming angel of a man always by her side. Normally he left running a club up to Peyton in favor of staying home and spending time with his daughter but it had been an evening Peyton had been particularly stressed put about so instead, they had opted for the services of a babysitter.

"Place looks good, P. Sawyer. I see Mighty Mouth is still rocking the house."

Peyton smiled and turned to see Brooke. The two old friends hugged.

"Dude, I'm surprised to see you here. Didn't you have some work conference thing in like Atlanta or something?"

"It ended early and I'm back and bored so I decided to see what my best friend and her own little Tree Hill Version of The Viper Room are up to", Brooke smiled.

"Well, thank you for gracing us with your presence, oh mighty queen…wait, you did pay to get in here, didn't you?" Peyton teased with a raised eyebrow.

"No. But don't worry, it wasn't a total freebie. Broody covered the charge."

Peyton made a face.

"Lucas is still in town? I thought he went back to Philly."

"Nah. He's still here. He and Nathan are talking to some people over by the dance floor."

"Nathan?" Peyton practically yelled.

"Yeah…Nathan. Nathan Scott as in Luke's brother, our friend…"

"Oh God. Is Megan here, too?"

"Yeah. We all came together. She went to the bathroom…"

"Shit!"

"Why? Pey, what's up? What's the problem?"

In near panic, Peyton grabbed Brooke's arm and dragged the brunette into the back.

"Ow! Peyton! What the hell?"

"Brooke, my musical act cancelled last minute", Peyton whispered tersely.

"Uh…okay. Should I do my best American Idol impression or would you prefer I tell jokes?"

"No, Brooke…dammitt, I'm being serious. I…I found someone else."

"Okay…sorry Friend but I'm not getting you…"

"Take a right. Check it out", Peyton motioned to a nearby dressing area.

Brooke's eyes widened. She couldn't believe it. After the first few seconds of shock wore off, she pushed past Peyton into the room. Lightly strumming her guitar with a pick was Haley James.

"Tutor Wife! Oh God, it's really you?"

Haley looked up in shock before smiling nervously. Brooke Davis. Her hair was a little longer and her still beautiful face much softer from less make up but the voice and the demeanor were still the same.

"Tigger", Haley sighed, using the teen nickname she had bestowed upon Brooke. "Long time no see."

"Tell me about it. Ever since you skipped town with Rock Star and deserted your husband without a second thought."

"Brooke!" Peyton pinched her.

"Ouch! What? It's true. Everyone knows it."

"Thanks, Brooke", Haley said, more than a little hurt.

"Oh don't be so sensitive, Tutor Wife. I don't hold it against you. You did what you had to do, right? And obviously it paid off because you're like ultra famous and rich now. I even saw you on TV on the red carpet for the Grammys. Fabulous dress by the way, although the hair could have used some help. Anyway, I think it sucks that you ran off without saying good bye and it sucks that Nathan got hurt because of your little fling…"

"Wait, Brooke. There was no fling. Chris and I were friends. It's never been anything more than a friendship."

"Whatever", she rolled her eyes with a smirk.

"Okay, you two can skip down Memory Lane later and debate the whole Chris Keller issue but right now, we have bigger fish to fry."

"What's up?"

"Haley, remember how I was nervous for you to play here because this is where it all started for you and also because you'd probably run into old faces?"

"Yeah."

"Well…uh, Lucas is here."

"Luke?" Haley asked, her heart pounding.

"Yes."

"Well, I know I'm not exactly on his list of favorite people right now and maybe our last little meeting didn't end that well but I think it'll be okay…"

"Trust me, Tutor Star, you've got worse problems than that", Brooke added. "Broody should be the least of your worries. Your husband or ex husband or whatever the hell he is to you these days, is in the house with his fiancée."

"Peyton!" Haley called out in a panic.

"I know. I know, Haley. I'm sorry. I had no idea they were going to be here and I'm sure they had no idea you were going to be playing tonight. I didn't advertise or anything. Look, it's going to be okay. I'll find them and I'll talk to them and warn them. If they want to leave, then that's fine. I just don't want to cause a scene."

Peyton and Brooke rushed back into the crowd searching for Nathan and Megan. They didn't have any luck but Lucas was at the bar, beer in hand.

"Broody! Thank God!"

"Nice to see you, too", he smiled.

"No! We have a Tree Hill drama code red!"

"Okaayyy…"

"Lucas, Haley is still in town and she's playing here tonight. She's in the back about to go on in a few minutes", Peyton announced.

"What?"

"Look, I had no idea you would be here or that Nathan and Meg would show up. Can you just help me before this gets ugly?"

Lucas nodded, quickly imaging the scenario that could unfold as he and Brooke combed the area looking for his little brother. They searched the bars and the restrooms and the outside surrounding area. With each second and no luck, two hearts sank as they could only stare at each other helplessly.

"What are we gonna do, Broody? We have to find them."

"No shit. Nathan will have a seizure if he finds out Hales is here."

Brooke's eyes scanned the people until finally she had found her target. There in a corner was the handsome dark haired man with the piercing blue eyes signing an autograph for a local fan. His tanned skin was accentuated by jeans and a white shirt and on his arm in jeans and a frilly pink tank top, was his beautiful bride to be.

"There they are!" she whispered loudly.

Lucas grabbed her hand as not to lose her in the crowd and they pushed their way over to the couple.

"Empty handed, bro?" Nathan joked. "I guess the first round of drinks is on me…like always, you cheap bastard."

"Nate, Meg…come with me. I need to tell you guys something."

"Lucas, is everything alright?" Megan asked, obviously concerned.

"No…"

Before he could finish his sentence or even offer an explanation, all attention was diverted to the stage where Peyton stood at the mic.

"Hey you guys. Thanks a lot for coming out tonight. As always, we have a lot of great music coming your way. I know we had an advertisement for Peppermint Soldiers to play tonight but unfortunately the band couldn't make it. That's the bad news. The even better news is a pleasant surprise. Someone who may be familiar to some of you. She is an award winning singer and we're proud to say that like the title of her latest CD, she has decided to Come On Home back to the place where her musical career started. So please put your hands together and give a warm Tric welcome to Maverick recording artist, Haley James."

"What the fuck is this shit?" Nathan muttered under his breath.


	22. Elsewhere

Lucas and Brooke closed their eyes. Too little too late. Meg's face fell with disappointment as she looked onto the stage. Nathan's jaw tightened and clinched. The rest of the audience, though just as shocked, had a slightly warmer welcome as their ovation lasted several minutes.

"Thank you, guys. Really. Thank you so much. It's so great to be back in Tree Hill. It's great to be home. This town, this club and this stage is really where it all started for me. This place brings back a whole lot of memories. The first song I'm going to sing, I actually didn't write. It's a cover of a great Sarah McLachlan hit. But it's the first song I ever sang for an audience that didn't include my parents, my brothers and sisters and the shower. It has a lot of sentimental value so here goes…"

She took her seat behind the keyboard and began to sing and play.

_I love the time and in between_

_The calm inside me_

_In the space where I can breathe_

_I believe there is a distance I have wandered_

_To touch upon the years of, reaching out and reaching in_

_Holding out holding in_

Nathan was incensed! It was bad enough she had to show up, how dare she sing _that _song? It was their song! It was the song she had sang to him that night in Karen's café after he had been manipulated to move in with his father during the brief period Dan and Deb had separated. He had been so down that night and seeing her beautiful, smiling face made everything better. She had the voice of an angel.

_I believe this is heaven to no one else but me_

_And I'll defend it as long as I can be_

_Left here to linger in silence_

_If I choose to_

_Would you try to understand_

"What the hell is she doing here?" Nathan sneered.

"Babe, calm down…" Megan ushered.

"Calm down? If Ashton Kutcher doesn't pop out of here in like five seconds to tell me I've been Punked, then I am seriously going to break something!"

"Relax, dude", Lucas tried. "None of us knew she was coming because Peyton didn't expect we'd be here. She warned us and we tried to get to you but it was too late."

_I know this love is passing time_

_Passing through like liquid_

_I am drunk in my desire..._

_But I love the way you smile at me_

_I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near..._

_I believe..._

"Maybe we should go", Megan suggested.

"No", Nathan said stubbornly. "This is my town. I'm not gonna let the little pop star run us out of this club."

"Just don't make a scene", Brooke warned.

_Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free_

_The mold that clings like desperation_

_Mother can't you see I've got to live my life the way I feel is right for me_

_Might not be right for you but it's right for me..._

_I believe..._

There was a pulsating tension within the group. No one knew what to say or do. All eyes were on Nathan.

"What up, dudes and dudettes? The Tim is in the house so you better recognize", Tim grinned as he made his presence known.

"Hey Tim", Megan tried to smile. "What's going on?"

"Nothing much except beating the lovely ladies away with a stick. You know sometimes it gets to be too much."

"I'm sure", Brooke scoffed sarcastically.

"That's just the life of a lowly, fine as hell, charming law student, I guess. By the way, who is the babe on stage?"

Everyone exchanged looks, terrified of Nathan's reaction.

"Tim…"

"Someone should tell her to put her cigarette out."

"Tim, she's not smoking", Lucas said.

"In that tight little black shirt and jeans, I'd say she's smoking! More sizzling than a Porterhouse steak on a grill! Damn!"

"Tim…"

"She looks familiar, too. She probably tried to get some Tim Time once…"

"That's Haley, you dumb ass!" Nathan gave him a murderous look.

Tim squinted and did a triple take before the recognition sunk in.

"That is Haley. Damn, dude. Time was definitely on her side. She looks better in person than on TV. You sure know how to pick them. A hot ex wife, a hot wife to be…what's your secret, man?"

"You little punk shit!" Nathan lunged before Lucas grabbed him.

_I believe_

_This is heaven to no one else but me_

_And I'll defend it as long as_

_I can be left here to linger in silence if I choose to_

_Would you try to understand it_

_I would like to linger here in silence_

_If I choose to_

_Would you understand it_

_Would you try to understand..._

Haley finished the song to more thunderous applause.

"Thanks guys. Thank you very much. Um, another song I'm gonna do for you is brand, spanking new. It's not on my latest CD however I might have to add it to the list of tracks for the one coming up because actually, I just finished writing it backstage. Bear with me if it sounds a little rough but uh…I'm gonna go for it. It's called Crazy Girls."

_I've been behind the events of the past seven days,_

_I've been sleeping in my bed and missing you_

_Like sometimes crazy girls do_

The more Nathan stared at her, the angrier he became. The rage was almost uncontrollable. It was like she was taunting him sitting on that stage playing her stupid little guitar.

_I've been hanging like a child and this photograph of us_

_It was taken on a bus across town, The last time I saw you,_

Nathan's heart pounded. That bitch! Her last night in Tree Hill before she left him, they had taken a picture on The Wreckers' tour bus. She must have kept it all those years!

_And now this whole world is going 'round_

_But it's when you're gone, it really brings me down_

"You cool, bro?" Lucas inquired. "Looks like you're about ready to blow a gasket."

"I'm cool", Nathan sighed calmly. "Hey, I'll be right back."

He walked away before anyone could stop him.

"Where'd he go?" Meg asked worriedly.

"He'll be okay", Lucas replied unconvincingly as he watched his brother slip away and seemingly become lost in the crowd.

_I can't get myself together_

_I'm soaking in the pain_

_It's ridiculous how easy it is to go astray_

_When my focus ain't right_

_But sometimes crazy's alright_

Lucas watched her perform. He wondered if her coming to Tric was the right move but then again, why not? She had just as much right to be there as anyone else. He just hoped everything would be okay but he had a sinking feeling it wouldn't be…not until Nathan was found and safely headed home.

"Thank you. Tric, you have been a great audience. I love you all so much and I hope tonight you felt a sense of home as well. Good night and God bless…"

She gave a final wave and bow and headed for the sanctity of the tiny room that was her dressing room for the evening. Entering the back room, she rubbed at the tired aching muscles of her upper shoulders. She groaned out loud, eyes cast towards the floor. There was no way to see what was in front of her, at least not until she had walked smack into it.

Haley looked up and her brown eyes widened as her breath caught in her throat. She couldn't stop her body from shaking.

"Nathan", she gasped. "What are you doing here?"


	23. The Defense Presents Its Case

"Nathan…"

He had made his way to that room with a purpose but now standing in front of her, looking into those soft, chocolate eyes, smelling her sweet perfume and being one on one without the intrusive presence of Dan, Deb, Megan and a bunch of attorneys, was throwing off his concentration. It unnerved him. He didn't feel like the cool, cocky guy with the snide comments and quick comebacks.

"What? I was just looking to score an autograph."

He stood before her with the iciness and menacing tone of his father. It hurt her. It hurt her because she knew Nathan was better than that. She had seen him be better than that.

"Nathan, just stop it. Please."

"What? No time for fans? How selfish of you but that shouldn't surprise me, now should it, Rock Star?"

Face to face the tension and emotion level was high.

"Everything alright back here?"

Saved by the bell, so to speak. Lucas.

"Everything's fine", Haley said softly.

"Yeah", Nathan repeated coldly. "Everything is fine. Just wanted the Rock Star's John Hancock but you know how divas are, Luke. Right now it's a 'no sign, no photo' zone."

"Nate…"

"It's cool. I can dig it. Besides, in a few days, I get the only autograph that counts anyway. A signature on my divorce papers."

"Dude, Megan is waiting for you out front. I think she's ready to go."

Nathan continued staring more at Haley before nodding.

"Alright. I'll check you later, bro. And as for you", he turned to Haley. "Just make sure your ass doesn't miss that plane next week."

Haley was silent as he walked out of the door. Only then did she collapse onto a nearby chair, not realizing just how weak her knees had actually been.

"You okay?" Lucas finally asked when his brother was out of sight.

"Yeah", she nodded.

"Hales, I'm sorry about that…

"I should be used to it, huh?"

"It's just his way. That's the Dan Scott in him, I guess."

"Well, this will be all over in a few days and I can't wait."

"I know. Look, I know why you came back here and I just wanted to thank you. You did a good thing."

"Really? Well, sorry if your praise doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot right now. Being here had been the nightmare I imagined it would be."

"I know it's been hard for you, Hales but…"

"But what? No, Lucas. You don't know shit so don't even pretend like you do."

"Haley…"

"No. Let me finish. It's my turn to talk. I've been silent long enough. Ever since I set foot back in this godforsaken town, hell, the past six and a half years even! I get shit from you and Brooke and the Scotts and just everyone, including my husband, who absolutely hates my guts, by the way!"

"You left, Hales. You hurt a lot of people. A lot of people didn't understand your decision and you didn't bother sticking around or coming back for that matter, to even try explaining it."

"I left for a dream, Lucas! A dream. You remember what that is? Let me refresh your memory. When you were a kid bouncing that basketball around on the River Court with Skills and Fergie. The feeling you felt when you sank that ball in the hoop. The joy, the love, the thrill of the game…that few seconds of glory you had knowing that game was one thing you were better at than almost everybody else. I know you know that feeling, Luke. Then you got to play for the Ravens, then college and now you're a pro. Your dreams have come true and it feels good. Know how I know? Because I watch you play on TV sometimes and I look in your face and I still see that same little kid at the River Court. That was your dream and what you saw tonight, well, that was mine. That's what I'm good at, that's what I love. I had the once in a lifetime opportunity to go for it when I was just 16 and I went for it. I made it and I love it and I'm happy but at what cost? I lost a lot! I lost my husband! I have to deal with that every damned day of my life! Everyone talks about some choice, what choice? I didn't choose music over Nathan and I sure as hell didn't choose Chris over him."

"Then why didn't you come back?"

"You see him now…the way he is, the way he talks to me. He is a bitter, evil, carbon copy of that miserable bastard you two call a father. Every night I called Nathan from the road, sometimes several times a day. I'd check in and let him know what I was doing. I wanted to see how he was doing. What good was the music thing if I couldn't share it with the one person I loved most? But I couldn't share it with Nathan because he wouldn't let me. He was so hurt and so angry and so selfish that it ruined everything! We couldn't be together anymore, we couldn't even have a decent conversation. I lost him! He pulled away and sunk deeper into that wretched, dejected shell of a human being he has become. What was I supposed to do, Lucas?"

The frustration in not being able to defend herself after so much time was finally expressed in the angry tears spilling down her flushed cheeks.

"He couldn't deal with the hurt, Hales", Lucas spoke softly after a minute or so of silence. "Nathan just could not deal with it…and neither could I."

"What?"

"Before you left, before Nathan even, it was always you and me, Haley. Frick and Frack, Yin and Yang. You were my little Buddy, my best friend. I loved you like a little sister. No matter what, I always thought we would have that bond, that connection. I thought it was sacred."

"It was", she whispered.

"Was it? Because you just didn't leave Nathan. You left everyone. You left me, Haley. You left without even saying good bye."

"I'm sorry", she said.

"Do you know how bad that was? It was like a slap in the face."

"It happened so fast. There was no time, Luke. I know that's a lame excuse but it was like stepping into a different world. By the time things semi calmed down, Nathan and I were having the arguments. Eventually he stopped calling me and taking my calls. The next thing I know, I'm being served with annulment papers. Just like that, it was over. I know I hurt him. I know he was angry. I also know my name was mud in this town. Whether you wanted to or even admit it, in a way everybody left behind sort of had to take sides. And I know I looked bad. Nathan was the victim and Haley was the selfish little bitch who ran off with Chris Keller. That's how it looked but that wasn't the case."

"Hales…"

"I wish we would have stayed in touch. So many times I wanted to pick up the phone and call you."

"Why didn't you? What stopped you?"

"I don't know. I didn't want to make it harder than it was. I didn't want to put you in an even more difficult position with Nathan. And when we did talk, it was weird and tense and awkward and uncomfortable. It just wasn't us. That killed me, Lucas. But I never stopped thinking about you. Or missing you or loving you."

Her voice trailed off into heart wrenching sobs as Lucas cradled her. She tried to resist but he wouldn't let her. If she attempted to pull away, he held her even harder. Eventually she succumbed, almost delighting in the once familiar feel of his warm, strong, brotherly embrace.

"It's okay, Hales…"

"I'm sorry, Luke! I'm so sorry! What am I supposed to do? Everyone hates me! No one understands! Maybe I made mistakes but do I have to be punished for them for the rest of my life?"

"It's okay", he whispered again. "It's going to be okay. We don't hate you. No one hates you, Hales. You always had Mom and Peyton. And you know how Brooke is. And Nathan? He's just hurt. That's him. That's how he reacts. It's how he deals but by you coming here…you did the right thing. For so long, so many years, his heart and soul have been in torment. You've come to set him free and that's what he needs. Once he is released and he's free, he can move on and be with Megan and have peace. With that peace, one day will come understanding and forgiveness. I promise."

"What about you?" she sniffled. "Are you at peace, Lucas? Do you finally understand and can you forgive me?"

Lucas brushed a stray strand of hair from her face.

"I forgave you a long time ago, Hales. I love you. You'll always be my little Buddy. I mean that. You'll always have me. Deep down, you always did."

She wiped her eyes and held him for a long time.

"I missed you, Luke."

"Ditto", he smiled.

"What do you say we get out of here and talk? I mean, really talk and not about Nathan. Let's catch up. Six and a half years is a long time", she smiled through tears.

He held her hand and nodded.

"You're right", he sighed. "And you know what? I know just the place…"


	24. Sliding Doors

Haley looked down on the view of clustered lights that embodied Tree Hill. She couldn't believe it. She couldn't contain her grin. She could not believe where she was.

"Was this a good idea or what?" Lucas smiled.

"It was a great idea, Buddy."

He gave her a devilish look as he bent down and popped back up with a handful of balloons.

"Look, what I happened to find stashed away", he teased.

"Oh no. Not the balloons…"

"Yes… the dreaded balloons."

"Luke, they better not be filled with milk like we used to do them."

"Maybe."

"Oh you are so childish."

"Yeah but in a good way. Don't be a party pooper now. Come on. I haven't done this in years. With you gone, who else did I have to do it with? Brooke? Come on. Can you imagine Brooke and me having a water balloon fight? And picture me trying that in the 76ers locker room. Those guys would stomp me into the ground, especially A.I."

"So that's your situation now?" Haley grinned. "Calling Iverson by his initials?"

"Iverson? I'm totally impressed you know who that is."

"What?" she pretended to be hurt. "I watch basketball."

"Since when? This coming from the chick who called free throws 'free shots'", he laughed.

"That was then. The sport kind of grew on me."

"Yeah. That's my life now. Let's see. I bought this awesome little Brownstone type deal in downtown Philly. I hired Brooke to do my decorating and without looking too overtly feminine, I'd say she did a pretty good job. Last year, I was a rookie and it was a crash course in basketball, totally different from high school and college. I played, practiced and traveled in that order with sleep coming somewhere in between. It was a hell of an experience that I wouldn't trade for anything and I do love it. I play with a great group of guys who are like brothers to me and Philadelphia is an awesomely beautiful, historic city. I live for those few precious days off when I can slip on my ball cap and faded jeans with the holes in the knees and do the cool tourists stuff like visit the Liberty Bell and the Philadelphia Zoo and not to mention the Rocky statue."

"Sounds like fun. All that and no one special to share it with?"

"I don't have time. Not even for a dog. Besides, you women folk are way too complicated. I mean, I date here and there. There's nobody serious."

"When are you going to quit being stubborn and just admit that you're head over heels in love with Brooke Davis?" Haley demanded.

Lucas thought for a minute before grinning.

"After she admits she's in love with me first."

"You suck, you know that?" Haley stuck her tongue out.

"I know, I know but I like the way things are now. It reminds me of the good and simple times back when I was content playing hoops with the guys at the River Court and hanging out with you."

"Yeah", she fondly remembered. "God, I guess our lives were so much simpler then, huh?"

"Yeah…"

Haley, lost in nostalgia, forgot the cardinal rule. She turned her back on Lucas Scott. Seconds later, she felt the hit, then the pop, then the cool milk running all over the back of her designer Donna Karan shirt.

"Lucas Eugene Scott!"

"What?" he shrugged innocently.

"Oh you are so dead! This is war, buster!"

Just like their younger days, the juvenile game of fighting with water and milk balloons began. They hid, yelled, and giggled as they became soaked targeting each other. The game and the fun lasted for hours. Just like it used to.

"Okay, okay", Haley said finally, out of breath. "Lucas, no fair. You have home court advantage. I'm all out of balloons. Seriously. Can we please call a truce?"

"Depends. Is it a real truce or a trick truce?"

"It's a real truce, I promise."

"Okay."

"Okay", she panted emerging from behind a fake tree. "Or not!"

She pulled out one last balloon but Lucas threw his at her first. He grabbed her and Haley dropped her balloon, breaking it.

"What?" she asked, collapsing in giggles.

"Nothing…it's just that…the tattoo."

"Oh that", Haley breathed.

It was a symbol of her undying teenage affection for Nathan shortly before they had married.

"You never got it removed, huh?"

"I couldn't", she shrugged. "It's a part of me, I guess. Like if I get it removed, then that means none of it ever happened. You know, sometimes I look at it and for a second it takes me back to those times. I was happy and carefree and a kid and deliriously in love. I smile when I remember what that feels like. Isn't that the point, after all? That makes getting it all worth it if it can remind me of the good stuff ever so often."

He nodded like he understood. A part of him did.

"Do you regret it, Hales? Any of it."

She thought for a minute.

"I don't know. I think about it all that time. Remember that movie Sliding Doors? I think Gwyneth Paltrow was in it. Her character's whole love life and career both hinged, unknown to her, on whether or not she caught a train. You see it both ways, in parallel. Isn't that weird? Sometimes I compare my life to that. I got on a bus and everything changed. I got to tour with my idol, Michelle Branch. I got the experience of performing. I got signed to a big label for a lot of money. I realized my dream of becoming a singer. I became famous and rich and got to live out a dream. And I love that. It makes me happy."

"What if you didn't get on that bus?"

She smiled sadly with a shrug.

"I don't know. Nathan and I would have worked it out. I would have given up my dream and lived a normal life like every other 16 year old…every other married 16 years old. Let's see, I would have finished high school probably as a valedictorian or at least an Honor graduate and I would have gone to college wherever Nathan went. I would have gotten a degree that would have been useless considering I'd become an NBA trophy wife living in a huge Charlotte mansion arguing with Deb no doubt over what curtains I decorated that living room with."

"Would you have been happy?"

"I don't know. Because I was with Nathan and I loved him so much, of course I would have been happy is that aspect but I think as far as life goes, I just would have been content because that's what I was supposed to be."

It was an interesting philosophy.

"That's life, I guess. It's just the way it goes", Lucas sighed.

"Yeah and now I'll never know what was meant to be or if I could have had both my husband and the music. I guess I made a real mess of things back then, huh?"

Lucas thought for a moment.

"No, you didn't. You were just a kid. And you were in love…with Nathan and the music."

She looked down, wrapping her arms around herself to protect her tiny body from the summer night's breeze.

"Thank you, Lucas. Thanks for understanding. Tonight…this here with you…well, it was nice. I needed it."

"Me too", he smiled. "Know what else we need?"

"What's that?"

"Hot chocolate."

"With marshmallows?" she asked hopefully.

He winked and wrapped an arm around her leading her downstairs towards the café.

"Wouldn't dream of it any other way."


	25. The Barrier Between Them

"Nathan, can I talk to you please for a second?"

He stood and left the room, grateful for the intrusion and distraction. He followed her out to the pool area, ignoring the prying eyes of his parents.

"What's up, babe?"

"I have to tell you something. It's about the Dominican Republic trip."

"Meg, I was online looking up stuff to do there. I've decided not to let the trip be all bad. Get rid of my baggage like the first day and then you and me get an early honeymoon. The beaches look awesome and there's a bunch of that art and history stuff you're all into and…"

"Nate, I can't go."

Nathan felt like he'd been punched in the gut. Maybe, surely he had misheard her.

"What?"

"Honey, I can't…"

"I'm not deaf, Megan. I heard you. What's going on?"

The steely tone of his voice hit her like a sharp blow in the center of her heart.

"There's this training course coming up at work. Remember all that ISA crap I told you about? Well, our company needs 100 percent certification and I was tasked for this class immediately. I have to go back in a few days."

Nathan sighed.

"And you can't miss it?"

"No, I can't. Sweetie, I've been on at that job less than a year. You know it's more than just a job to me. It's my career. This is mandatory for our entire firm. How would it look me telling the boss no?"

"But going down to the Dominican is important."

"Nathan, I know that."

"Whatever", he said, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

He turned to walk away but she went after him, grabbing a muscular forearm and spinning him around to face her.

"Don't walk away from me?"

"Why? Sounds like we're done here anyway. You've made up your mind already, Meg."

"Like I have much of a choice."

He stared at her for a moment.

"There's always a choice", he said quietly.

"That's not fair. Look, I know what you have to do down there. I know it's important and it has to be done. I also know that it's not something you really want to face alone."

"Then come with me."

"Baby, I can't. It's just not a good time. Please don't be mad. Your divorce is something that can't be avoided. You're going down to the Dominican Republic to take care of business so you can have peace and get on with your life and we can't get married and start ours together. You're doing something for our future but so am I."

"Meg…"

"I promise you I'm not being selfish. If I could get out of this, I would but I can't Nathan. And I know I can't ask you to postpone your stuff because everything is already set up and Haley has taken time off her schedule to get this done."

He took a deep breath. Going without Megan was unfathomable. Facing the situation alone almost frightened him. But more than that, it was the first time Meg had ever said no to him. She had always been there when he needed her, she had always sacrificed whatever to be present in his time of need. Now when he needed her the most, when he wanted her the most, she was in essence denying him. It bothered him to his core. A woman choosing her career over him. Painful and cruel déjà vu of sorts and how ironic the timing, considering where he was going and what he was going to be doing there.

"Okay. Fine. Whatever. It's just a couple of days, right?"

"Right."

"Nothing I can't handle then."

She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you sure?"

She cuddled up close, snaking her smaller arms around his tight waist.

"Meg, I'm sure. It'll be okay. Would I rather have you there? Hell yeah but if you can't, then I understand. I know important your career is to you and that ISA certification stuff within your company. You have to do what you have to, just like I have to do what I have to do."

"You'll be fine, sweetie and it'll all be over before you know it."

"I hope so", he breathed.

"Just promise me one thing."

"Anything."

Megan cupped Nathan's face and looked deeply in his eyes.

"Don't be too hard on her", she whispered.

"What?" he asked, taken aback, immediately recoiling from her touch.

"Haley. Just please."

"Meg…"

"No, baby. Listen to me. I know you're angry. I know you're hurt…"

"Trust me, I'm not hurt", he smirked.

"Are you sure about that? Because she has this hold on you…"

"Hold on me?" Nathan scoffed. "Now you're just being silly. What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the man I love who is this wonderful, sincere, funny, genuine, lovable human being and this woman comes back and just at the mention of her name, you do a complete 360 and just become this…this monster. You get beyond angry and your whole mood and face and body language changes. And the things that come out of your mouth? They're horrible. And that scares me, Nathan. It's like I don't even know who you are anymore when you act like that. You become another person."

"I'm still the same guy, Meg. You just don't understand everything that happened and everything I went through. Maybe in your world you can play nice and be friends with all your exes but it could never be that way between me and…her. That's just the way it is. But she doesn't have a hold on me, trust me. I would never give her that much power."

"Then why can't you even call her by name?" Megan asked softly.

Nathan pulled away.

"This isn't about her and me. We've been over for a long time, now I just have to make it legal."

"Nathan…"

"You don't know her, Meg?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said. You don't know what it was like. You weren't there. You don't understand and I could never make you. Just remember that next time you rush to defend her. It's best to just drop it. Because hopefully by the end of next week, she'll be nothing more than a mistake and a bad memory."

Megan looked away sadly.

"This is hard, Nathan. It's hard on me so I can only imagine what you're going through. You're right that I don't understand everything and I can't expect you to make me understand because I don't even think you understand it all yourself, babe."

"It's almost over", he sighed. "It won't be much longer."

She looked in his eyes and saw the distance, saw the sadness. There was an emotional wall between created by the iciness of his bitter and broken heart. No matter how hard or fast or persistent she picked away, she would never fully be able to reach him. No one could. Not until Haley James was legally erased from his life forever.

"I love you", she said.

He nodded and pulled her to him again, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"I know. I love you, too."


	26. All She Has To Do Is Dream

**_Author's Note: Flashback Sequences written in Italics. Dialogue borrowed from One Tree Hill, Episode 22, "The Games That Play Us"..._**

Haley yawned as the flight took off from Fort Lauderdale. It was the second and last stop of the trip before landing in Santa Domingo. She'd had to change planes already in Charlotte, making her total air time 7 hours and 42 minutes.

It was exhausting, traveling but Haley was used to it. She had toured all around the world. It had its perks of course. First class accommodations, seeing different cities and countries. It had its downfalls as well. Lost luggage, exhaustion, dodging the most fanatical fans and even paparazzi sometime when she looked and felt at her worst and all she wanted was what every other passenger wanted…a quick and safe flight to the next desired destination.

Slipping off her shoes, she curled up with the blanket and pillow provided. A lot was on her mind. She was nervous. Nervous about being around Nathan again. Nervous about the divorce itself. A part of her couldn't wait to get back to New York where even with the insane schedules and demands, it was her life and in a roundabout way, her only sense of sanity.

She could feel her eyelids growing heavy. Her breathing pattern lulled and her head became too heavy to even move. Before she knew it, Haley James was giving in to the calling of the Sand Man. In sleep she found a peace that had been escaping her lately during the waking hours. In sleep she could be free. Free to think. Free to dream. Free to remember…

_She was so mad at him. She was so mad she could barely remember why she was mad. Then she would close her eyes and it would all come flooding back to her. The pang of jealousy and disgust she felt when she discovered her boyfriend's addiction to Internet porn. And he couldn't understand why she was mad! And Lucas! Lucas Scott of all people had the nerve to defend him!_

_Okay, Haley James overreacting…not exactly unheard of, huh? Maybe it wasn't **that** big of a deal. The women weren't real so technically he wasn't cheating. And he was using the sordid images as visual stimulation to sexually relieve himself, so to speak, as not to pressure her for physical intimacies she wasn't ready for. Most important, she loved Nathan Scott with all her heart…and he loved her._

_So she went over to his apartment to apologize. To reason or compromise with him. Then her nosiness once again got the best of her. His laptop was just sitting there practically screaming her name to come and search what he had been studying. No more pornography but something even worse…Peyton Sawyer. The same Peyton who had recently become her closest girlfriend, the Peyton he had dated before her. He had saved her pictures. Some of them were suggestive in a flirty sort of way, some of them just showing her smiling pretty face. Regardless he kept them and he looked at them. Did he miss her? Did he still love her? Did he miss the physical aspect of their relationship? It was too much for Haley. Peyton was a real person._

_So when he arrived home, she called him on it. Nathan was not pleased. He was embarrassed and it was a chance to attack her verbally for invading his privacy, an act she was truly guilty of. They argued and she left, basically breaking things off. Haley had given Nathan her heart. Obviously that wasn't enough for him. If that wasn't enough, then how could she possibly be enough?_

_He was pissed. Girls came a dime a dozen in the world of Nathan Scott. His head told him to forget about her but his heart yelled otherwise. He couldn't stop thinking about her. About their relationship. She was fun! He could be with Haley for hours and not get bored. And she was funny…silly…giddy almost. Her smile was infectious and her laugh contagious. She helped him, not just with math and English homework but with life as well. No matter how bad things got at home, she was the one bright spot in his life. She believed in him. She loved him. When he felt hopeless stuck in between to unrelenting parents, Haley provided the way out. She helped him get emancipated. _

_And afterwards, she had spent every waking moment with him. Using her key, arriving early in the morning she would wake him, start his shower, then make his breakfast. They shared a few classes together and always managed to meet up in between classes. She would tutor him in Study Hall, then go back to the apartment to start dinner while he was at basketball practice. From seven in the morning until her midnight curfew, the pair was virtually inseparable. It was like she was his wife._

_It started Nathan thinking. What was a wife? What was a marriage? The bitter, broken farce his own parents shared? Or the warm, extremely loving, committed bliss like Haley's parents? Jim James looked at his wife Lydia the same way Nathan looked at Haley. Then it dawned on him! He loved her. He knew he could love her forever. They were together all the time anyway, why not make it official? He had done all the partying and drinking and drugging and whoring most spend their youth indulging in. He was tired of that. He wanted more. He wanted Haley. It was time to settle down._

_His heart pounded. As crazy as it sounded, he would ask her to marry him. At 16, he would and ask her to pledge forever. It was perfect and sweet and romantic and crazy at the same time. Only one problem…she wasn't even speaking to him. Nathan didn't care. He left his apartment and began walking, then jogging, then full out sprinting to her house. He didn't give a damn that it was raining and the drops had soaked his clothes to his skin. He knocked on the front door. No one answered. No cars in the driveway. What if she just wasn't answering? Nathan didn't care. He was determined. He would wait on that porch. He would wait forever if he had to._

_Forever came ten minutes later when Peyton's car pulled up and Haley hopped out, dashing onto the porch for cover from the weather. She saw him looking like a drenched pound puppy and her heart fluttered._

"_Nathan, you're soaked. What are you doing?"  
_

"_I just went for a run to clear my head, I guess this is where I ended up", he started before getting right to the point. "Look, Haley, the picture of Peyton didn't mean anything, okay?"  
_

"_It did to me", she said softly. "Clearly you still have feelings for her."  
_

"_I saved that picture back when we were still dating. The other ones too, you can go back and look. Her web cam hasn't even been in her closet for months." _

"Why didn't you tell me that last week?"

"_Because, I should have deleted those images a long time ago. I just felt bad because I didn't do it. Besides, Haley, I don't want Peyton. I want you."_

_She felt like she'd heard that song and dance before. It wasn't enough this time around.  
_

"_Is that it?" Haley asked, hands on her hips.  
_

"_You know, my pride says yeah, that's it. Just walk away and let Haley deal with the fact that she's clearly threatened by a sexual relationship. But my heart says, just forget about your pride, you idiot. You love this girl. And even if you're going to catch pneumonia, your ass is going to stand out here in the rain till you convince her to forgive you. So come on, Hales, just meet me half way here?"  
_

"_Why should I?"_

_This was it. No time or need for gimmicks or speeches. All that was needed was the truth. He just had to speak from his heart.  
_

"_Because I'm sorry. Because I love you. And because you're looking really hot standing out here in the rain, and I'm thinking, I have to kiss you", he smiled._

_Looking into his pleading baby blues, her heart melted. God, she loved him._

"_Well, if you have to", she conceded with a big grin._

_He leaned and she stood on her tiptoes, soft lips and tongues passionately and lovingly crashing into one another. She knew she would love him forever. She knew she would love him more than anyone._

"Ms. James?"

Haley jumped, then rubbed her eyes as she raised to a sitting position.

"Yes?"

"Ma'am, we are preparing for landing into the Santa Domingo Las Americas Airport. We thank you for flying first class with U.S. Airways."

Haley stretched. She had slept the entire way from Florida. Now she was in the Dominican Republic. It was off to the Ritz Carlton. It was off to ending the most important chapters of her life so she could begin to begin anew.


	27. Insurance, Anyone?

**_Author's Note: Nice review, J...Dude, I swear I am NEVER telling you anything again!_**

Megan loaded up Nathan's SUV for the long, lonesome drive back to Charlotte. She was off to further her career, he was off to divorce his wife so that he could marry her. Just saying it all out loud was enough to make a person go crazy. And Meg was almost there. She was mentally and emotionally at the brink and would be relieved when it was all over.

"Let me grab that for you", her sometimes too charming father in law to be, grinned as he picked up a heavy piece of luggage and placed it in the back.

"Thanks, Dan."

"No need for thanks, my dear. I'm just sorry to see you go."

"I'm just going a few miles West on I-40", she joked. "I'll be back before you know it."

Dan raised an eyebrow.

"Let's hope so."

"What does that mean?"

"What? Oh nothing. Please excuse me. I guess I was just thinking out loud. It's probably more appropriate that I keep my concerns to myself."

"What concerns?" Megan asked carefully.

Dan sighed dramatically.

"It's really nothing. I'm being an overprotective father and father in law to be. It's just that you going to Charlotte and Nathan going to the Dominican…it bothers me. You two should be together during this time."

"We've already talked about it and trust me, it can't be avoided. It's a work thing that I can't get out of and it's not fair to ask Nathan too postpone the divorce just so I can come along. It's just not practical."

"Practical, eh? Interesting…"

"Dan, what are you getting at?"

He smirked, looking right at her.

"Bottom line, kid? I don't trust Haley."

"What does trusting Haley have to do with anything?"

"Everything. Come on, Meg. You're a smart girl. Don't tell me that fancy and expensive prep school and a degree from Duke are going to waste."

"I'm sorry. I really don't understand."

"I know Haley James. I know her kind. River Rats, we like to call them here in Tree Hill. Girls from the wrong side of the tracks with no class and sophistication who make it their primary goal in life to go sniffing around for money. Then they use their worldly charms to sleep their way into wealthy families just like mine. They corrupt good kids like my son."

"Look, I don't know Haley personally but I find it hard to believe marrying Nathan at 16 was part of some evil, hidden agenda to marry rich."

"She got to you too, huh? Don't let that naïve act fool you. She's full of it, Meg. Trust me. She weaseled Nathan away from us once, convinced him to emancipate himself from Deb and me, then persuaded the boy to marry her. Once she got what she thought she wanted, she moved on to the first Tom, Dick, Harry or Chris that zoomed by on a tour bus. I'm telling you. The girl is selfish. Selfish and evil. Just watch her. You never know what tricks she has up her sleeve. I don't know if not accompanying Nathan to Santa Domingo is the wisest choice. Like I said, I don't trust Haley."

Megan looked Dan right in the eye.

"Well, I trust Nathan."

Dan laughed that wicked, sinister trademark laugh of his.

"How noble of you, Meg. Just don't let it come back to bite you in the ass."

"I'm sure it won't. Thanks for the concern but uh…I'll be fine, Dan. Nathan and I are going to be just fine."

"I'm sure but um, just in case, can dear old Dad here offer you some insurance?"

"Insurance?" Megan frowned.

"I'm a powerful man and I take pride in getting what I want, whenever I want it. Haley James ruined Nathan's life once. I won't let that happen again. I have connections, you could say. Friends in high places. If that little gold digging, country bumpkin piece of trash tries anything, I could…well, take care of it for you."

A cold chill ran up and down Megan's spine. Dan Scott had a reputation for being heartless and ruthless but she had always seen a teddy bear inside, a ferocious bark with a non threatening bite. Now she was seeing something else. A dark side. A scary side. A side she wanted nothing to do with.

"Dan, I…"

"Meg, make sure you didn't forget anything", Nathan called out. "I'm bringing out your last bag."

Megan just stared into smirking, arrogant, aloof eyes. Her heart was still racing. She didn't know how to react. She just wanted to get away.

"Um, I left something upstairs, Nate. I'll go get it", she said, scurrying off.

Nathan headed to join her but was stopped by his mother emerging from the kitchen area.

"Hi, sweetie, everything okay?"

"I'm fine", he tried to brush past her.

"I know Megan is leaving and your flight takes off soon. Can I make you a snack before you leave?"

"A snack?" Nathan sneered. "Mom, what the hell am I, six?"

Deb swallowed her hurt. Where was her precious little boy? He became more and more like his father with each passing day.

"Honey, I'm sorry. I just worry. I want you to be okay."

"I am."

"I know but this whole thing with Haley…I know it can't be easy. I just want you to be alright. Go get this thing taken care of and maybe it will give you the happiness you've been looking for. Or at least the peace."

Nathan narrowed his eyes. He sensed an inference and he resented it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he growled.

"Nothing. Sweetie, you've got a lot of soul searching to do. I just want you to be happy. I want you to do whatever is right for you…even if it might not be for other people. Don't you understand that?"

If looks could kill, Deb would have already been six feet under.

"Happiness, huh? What do you know about my happiness? And when was the last time you were happy yourself?"

"Nathan, I…"

"Butt out, Mom."

Deb bit her lip to hold back the tears as Megan emerged from upstairs with another bag.

"I guess this is it", she forced a smile. "Anything else, can't be too important, right? Besides, I'll be back soon."

"I love you", Nathan kissed her. "Drive safe."

"I will. Call me from your layovers and when you get to the hotel."

"Okay."

"Love you, too, Nate."

"See you soon, sweetie", Deb hugged her.

"I will. I'll be back before you know it and so will Nate and everything will be back to normal and we can go back to the important stuff like finishing up plans for the wedding."

Nathan closed the door as Megan climbed in the passenger seat.

"Take care, dear", Dan nodded smugly. "And if you need anything…anything at all, just call me. I'll be here. Waiting."

She cranked the truck and gave a final wave before driving off. She took a deep breath and turned up the radio. Megan needed a distraction. Something to remove the sinking feeling in her stomach about Dan Scott and the sinking feeling in her heart about Nathan and Haley.


	28. All He Has To Do Is Dream

**_Author's Note: Flashback sequences written in Italics. Certain scenes and dialogue borrowed from One Tree Hill, episode 23 "The Desperate Kingdom of Love"_**

Nathan shifted in his seat. He couldn't get comfortable. At least the flight wasn't too full. He hated overcrowded airplanes. First class was almost a ghost town. At least there were no autograph seekers. It was fun encountering fans some but there was a time and place for everything. And it wasn't the time or place. He was in a mood, emotions and nerves on edge. The girl sitting in the aisle across from him wasn't helping matters. He couldn't take her eyes off of her. Petite, cute, auburn haired…it was all too much. Sighing, he turned his attention to the window. Just when he was settled and done with dinner and ready for a nap, he heard it.

Nathan couldn't believe it. That song! That damned song! No! Not that song. Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved". He could hear the words from her headphones. It made him antsy. Nathan gripped the seat. He felt like he might jump out of the plane. It was like God was pulling the ultimate punk on him. How ironic. That girl. That song. He couldn't breathe. He needed water. He needed air.

"Everything okay, Mr. Scott?"

"What? Oh yeah. I'm cool…actually, can I get one of those hot towel things to wash my face?"

"Sure thing, sir", the flight attendant smiled politely as she handed it to him.

Nathan unfolded it and lay it across his face. Oh how he wished his mind would just shut down. But it wouldn't…

_They practically ran back to his apartment. They held hands and giggled in the rain, dashing up the stairs. He opened the door and let her in. They went back to the bedroom and the air conditioner plus their drenched clothing produced a chill. Nathan collapsed on the bed, tossing his wet sweatshirt watching Haley attempt to dry her damp hair with a towel. She smiled and shivered a little bit, just staring at him. Then she removed her own shirt exposing hardening nipples underneath a camisole. Nathan's heart pounded. He had never seen that much of her. She had never been that comfortable before around him._

"_Haley…"_

_She gave him a nervous smile before climbing on the bed on top of him. Nathan jumped as he felt her warm flesh so close to his. _

_They had made out so many times before but he had always done his best to respect that his girlfriend was a virgin. Most of the time it was just a lot of heavy petting through layers of clothes. Never before had they been this unclothed and just the sight of her like that drove him nuts._

"_No, it's okay…it's okay."_

_She kissed him again, her soft tongue probed every corner of his mouth. She was so pretty and he loved her so much and…well Haley turned him on beyond belief! It was kind of difficult to disguise the growing bulge between his legs. He nearly jumped out of his skin when she touched it through the thin material of his basketball shorts. He knew that if he didn't stop it right then and there that soon they wouldn't be able to stop. Nathan also knew that as much as Haley loved him and as much as she wanted to please him, that she wasn't ready to take it to that next physical level. That could be a real bummer at times but he actually really respected her for it. That was just one more thing that made her even more perfect._

"_I could love you forever", he whispered._

"_So could I."_

"_Hales, you've really been there for me these past few months, especially how crazy it's been at home and with my parents and stuff. You really kept me sane. Sometimes…sometimes it's like you're the only true thing I have. I never want to lose you."_

"_You won't…what? What's wrong?"_

"_Marry me."_

_There it was. The words just sort of rolled out of his mouth before he could catch them. But it didn't matter. It felt weird saying it but he meant it. He meant the words with all his heart. At that very moment Nathan Scott had an epiphany. He knew he was in love with Haley Joy James and he wanted to spend the rest of my life with her._

"_Marry me", Nathan said again._

"_Stop it", she giggled as she sat up._

"_What? Would you?"_

"_Oh Nathan, you're embarrassing me."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because…we're in high school."_

"_So what? I'm emancipated."_

"_Is this about sex?" she teased. "Because I want to wait?"_

"_No, I can see you caving on that one already", Nathan joked._

"_Well maybe so but Nathan…couples don't get married in high school. It's just not normal."_

"_So?" he protested. "I'm not normal. What I'm feeling is definitely not normal. I'll be honest with you Haley, I don't ever want to be normal…not with you. I'm serious."_

_She looked up at him with serious but thoughtful eyes._

"_I know you are."_

"_Okay so I'll say it again. I could love you forever."_

"_So could I but…"_

"_So why can't forever start right now?"_

_She just looked at him, her dark eyes wandering as she searched for a logical response. _

"_Nate…"_

"_I love you Haley and I know you love me. What we have is special…it's the real deal. And I want you. I want all of you, every day for the rest of my life."_

"_I know but…Nathan, I mean, we need to think about this…"_

"_No. No, we don't. Stop thinking with your head Hales and start thinking with your heart. I love you. And I want to be with you and only you…forever. So what do you say? Will you marry me?"_

_She was quiet for a while just staring me down with that shell shocked look. Then slowly the corners of her mouth turned upwards into a small smile that eventually became a huge grin._

"_You're emancipated but I can't just get married…"_

"_You need parental consent."_

"_Exactly."_

"_So ask them. I'll go with you. We'll see your parents together and plead our case."_

"_You're serious, aren't you? You've really thought this out."_

"_We'll tell them that we're in love and see what they say, Hales. It's worth a shot and I think they'll understand."_

"_Yes", she finally breathed. "Yes Nathan Scott, if my parents say yes, then I will marry you."_

_He pulled her close and they kissed, all the while Maroon 5's "She Will Be Loved" providing a poignant and romantic soundtrack in the background. The perfect song for the perfect moment for the perfect day._

"Mr. Scott, we are preparing to land, sir?"

"Huh? Oh…okay. Whatever."

The stewardess had just interrupted his trance like state.

"Thank you for flying with us…sir, are you sure everything is okay?"

Nathan looked out the window as the metal bird's wheels descended upon the runway.

"Yeah", he finally said. "It's going to be."


	29. The Penthouse

Nathan tiredly filed into the bright and spacious lobby, filled with thick carved wood paneling. He had been accustomed to top of the line hotels and penthouse suites even before he became a sports superstar in his own right. Money and the finer things were just synonymous with having the last name "Scott" in Tree Hill. Even at the hour there was a great deal of activity. Men in tailored business suits and women in furs and jewels were passing by.

"Scott, Penthouse suite", he said to the woman at the desk as he prepared to check in.

"Of course, Mr. Scott. We've been expecting you and we hope you enjoy your stay. A complimentary bar and of course room service and a personal courier will be dispatched 24 hours a day at your service."

"Thanks."

"Your key, sir."

Nathan took it and examined the card.

"Doesn't this hotel have 50 floors?" he asked.

"Yes, sir."

"Is this still the penthouse? It says mine is on the 49th."

"Yes sir. We have two identical penthouse suites located on the 49th and 50th floors."

"That's cool but if you don't mind, I'd like to switch. I just dig the top floor if, if you know what I mean."

"We would normally be happy to accommodate you, Mr. Scott, however another guest has already occupied that suite."

Nathan nodded. Oh well. It wasn't like he had been reduced to the Days Inn. A Ritz Carlton penthouse was still a Ritz Carlton penthouse, even if it wasn't on the top floor. He was tired anyway and he wanted to call Megan. Cutting his losses, he let the bellboy lead him to the elevator.

A young elevator operator dressed in a clean red uniform nodded towards Nathan.

"Evening, sir."

"Good evening. Uh, penthouse, 49th floor please."

"Wait, you're Nathan Scott, right?"

Nathan nodded.

"Yeah, dude."

"It's an honor to meet you. You're my favorite player. I know it's not very professional and the boss would have my head if he found out, but is it possible to get your autograph?"

Nathan sighed.

"Yeah. Sure, man. Got something for me to sign?"

The man smiled and had Nathan autograph a hotel brochure attached to a clipboard.

"Thank you, sir."

"No, problem."

"49th floor…"

The young man nodded again, only to be interrupted by a small voice rushing towards them.

"Hold the elevator, please."

She dashed in and didn't pay much attention to the man already inside. But he'd recognize that voice anywhere. He just couldn't believe the unjust irony of the situation.

"Haley James? The singer?"

"Uh…yeah", she struggled to speak after realizing Nathan was also on the elevator.

Her soon to be ex husband, in the Dominican Republic, in the same hotel, on the same elevator, headed in the same direction.

"I am such a fan, Ms. James. Please. Your voice is touched by God. Will you sign?"

"Thank you", she smiled. "You're such a sweetheart."

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"How about this?" the operator asked out loud. "Only my second day on the job and I meet two famous people at the same time. Haley James and Nathan Scott! My wife will never believe my luck. You two know each other."

Nathan refused to even look at her.

"No", he said sternly.

"Too bad. Ms. James, your penthouse is just above Mr. Scott's. One floor up."

Nathan cringed. It was bad enough she had taken a piece of his life. She had to take the top floor as well?

"Yeah…too bad", Haley muttered.

Nathan shot her a mean look.

"A real tragedy", he mumbled sarcastically.

Finally the longest and most awkward elevator ride in history came to an end as the car stopped on the 49th floor.

"Mr. Scott, can I help you with anything? Your bags?"

"I'm fine, man. Actually, there is one thing you can do. Have someone bring me up a bottle of your finest champagne and some strawberries too."

"Yes, sir. Strawberries and champagne, huh? Must be a real special night", the operator grinned.

"Damn right. I'm celebrating. Tonight is a special occasion. Rejoicing in spending a lovely few days here in the Dominican Republic and getting an old moneky off my back while I'm at it."

He made sure to glare at Haley who only rolled her eyes and shook her head in disgust. She was delighted when he finally exited the elevator and she could resume the short trip to her floor. Once inside the spacious confines of her room, she flopped down on the bed, cursing as she saw the red button flash on the phone indicating she had messages. There was only one and she listened to it, sighing as she called the person back.

"Keller…"

"Duh. Dude, you know it's me. You do have Caller ID. Why can't you just say hi?"

"I see a day of fun and sun in the lovely Dominican have done nothing to improve that pissy attitude of yours."

"Well, it's not exactly a dream vacation, Chris. Now what's up? Why are you calling me at the hotel?"

"Just checking to see if you were okay."

"Why do I find that hard to believe? But if that's your true motive, then I'm fine. I'm here on the spur of a moment for a quickie divorce from my bitter and estranged ex husband who, by the way, coincidentally happens to be staying just one floor down from me in the same hotel. Other than that, life is just peachy. How's life on your end?"

"That good, huh?" he chuckled. "See, I knew the minute you told me where you were going I should have joined you."

"Oh yeah? Chris Keller and Nathan Scott in the same hotel? That's just what the world needs, World War III. Besides, I need you in New York to take care of CAT. And speaking of, how is my baby?"

"Being a brat and scratching up my furniture and overall? It's a real pain. Cats just aren't my thing. I'm not doing this for you again either. What the hell? Do I have the word 'kennel' tattooed across my forehead or something?"

"It's not that bad", Haley laughed.

"It's worse and if she hisses at me one more time, I swear I'm gonna put my foot in her ass."

"Chris, you kick my cat and I will kick your ass."

"Now we're talking", he grinned. "I might let you have your way with me but for now there are more pressing issues."

"Like?"

"It just came up. A 23 city tour across the U.S. starting in Seattle, ending in Detroit. What do you say?"

"I don't know, Chris. I'm trying to take a break before my next album. And what about Michelle? She's in no condition for another tour right now."

"Who said anything about Michelle? I love her and Jessica to death but we don't need The Wreckers or Gavin Degraw to sell tickets. What the hell do you think this is, The Mamas and The Papas? Come on. People love Chris Keller and Haley James. They pay to see us. It's you and me, kid. What's it gonna be?"

Haley sighed.

"I don't know. Can I think about it and get back to you? It sounds cool but I'm just so tired of going on the road and…"

"You're a musician, James. This is your life, the life you chose. And musicians are always on the road. There's no such thing as not being on the road. And if you're not on the road, then you're getting ready to go on the road."

Haley groaned. He was right about that.

"Okay, okay. Let me just get the divorce from Hell over and get off Gilligan's Island and we'll set something up, okay?"

"Now you're talking. That's my girl."

Haley hung up unphased that Chris Keller had talked her into something else. His prodding had guided her musical career over the years and had really been a professional asset. Yet somehow, his direction sometimes spilled over to her personal life. She couldn't help but think that was the reason she was in Santa Domingo in the first place.

Flipping on the TV, Haley picked up the phone again.

"Room Service? Hi, Haley James in top floor penthouse. Could I please have a delivery of champagne and strawberries? With chocolate and whipped cream, thank you."

She smiled to herself. Turning on the Jacuzzi and gearing up for old episodes of The Mary Tyler Moore show, a room service treat would be just what she needed to relax before the hectic days ahead. She and Nathan may have had their differences but his idea wasn't bad. Maybe she should celebrate, too.


	30. Mr and Mrs Congeniality

"So today is the day, huh?"

"And not a moment too soon, either."

"Well, at least it'll be over and done with. After this you two will be finally rid of one another and you can move on with both your lives, Nate", Lucas spoke into the phone.

"Hallelujah to that one."

"Can I just say I'm proud of you being in the same hotel and not killing each other?"

"Yeah, yeah. I just don't know what I'd do with the body."

"Nathan…

"Just kidding, bro but you walked right into that one", he laughed.

Nathan was sitting in the extravagant dining facility of the hotel, finishing up his omelet breakfast, sipping coffee and chatting on his cell with his brother. The smile quickly faded from his face when he saw her. His heart caught in his throat.

There she was, her lightened auburn, almost blonde curly hair fell onto bare tanned shoulders, blending perfectly with her light multi colored sundress. Her breasts, which had always been a beautiful sight to behold, were pushed up against the thin material, her slender arms toned as well as golden legs that seemed to go for miles. Yes, he had always remembered a sexy body underneath the jeans and ponchos but the woman before him was an incredible, mature beauty. She seemed to have a glow about her and heads turned in the direction of her aura.

"Nate…dude, are you listening to me?"

"Huh?"

"Man, you haven't heard a word I said, have you?"

"What? Luke, sorry. Hey, I have to go. Can I call you back?"

"Sure thing, dude", the older Scott sighed. "Just one thing."

"What's that?"

"Be nice", Lucas said.

Nathan grinned in the phone before hanging up.

"You got it, bro. Just call me, Mr. Congeniality."

Nathan stood and put on his shades, walking outside to the waiting cab, which would take him to the building where the divorce proceedings would go down.

"Mr. Scott", the driver nodded, getting out and opening the back door.

"Thanks, man."

"Wait!" Haley yelled as she bounded from the hotel, purse in hand, sunglasses on top of her head.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Hi, sir. I called for a car 15 minutes ago and it hasn't arrived yet", she checked her watch. "Mr. Scott and I are going to the same place. Is it possible for you to give me a ride as well?"

The driver shrugged.

"I don't see why not, Miss, as long as Mr. Scott doesn't object."

They looked at Nathan, Haley's eyes particularly pleading. He looked at her and his blue eyes softened a bit. For a split second she saw the sweet young man she had married.

"Actually, Mr. Scott does object", he grinned evilly.

"What?" Haley protested. "Nathan!"

"Driver, I'm in a hurry. Please, can we get out of here? This lady can get her own cab."

"Nathan!"

"Sorry, Charlie", he laughed as the car slowly pulled away. "I did all my charity work for the year."

They left, leaving behind an irate young woman calling her estranged husband every name in the book. 10 minutes later in the blistering sun, the other car finally arrived with the Latin version of Grandpa Moses at the wheel, taking his sweet time and finding perhaps the only traffic jam in the whole Dominican Republic. By the time Haley arrived, she literally had seconds to make the appointment. Out of breath, she climbed the stairs, tripping and nearly severing a heel along the way.

She arrived at the appropriate room disheveled and disoriented, sweaty and her hair tussled.

"Haley J. James?"

"Yes", she panted. "Sorry, I'm late."

Nathan chuckled out loud, sounding eerily like Dan Scott.

"Okay", the official began. "To the matter at hand. Scott versus Scott. A petition for dissolution of marriage has been filed. Is Mr. Nathan Scott present?"

"Yes", he nodded.

"And Haley James? The late Haley James?" he asked, garnering a few snickers from Nathan and some others.

"Yes", she rolled her eyes, embarrassed and wanting to beat Nathan with her shoe.

"Is this a Mutual Consent Divorce, meaning there has been no specific cause for dissolving the bond of matrimony, however both parties show mutual agreement for the termination of the marriage?"

"Yes", Nathan and Haley stated in unison.

"Very well. Residency and presence of attorneys are not required. Mr. Scott, do you, of sound mind and body wish to permanently dissolve your union with your wife, Haley James Scott?"

"You bet", he said sarcastically.

"A simple yes or no for the record will suffice, sir."

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes! A hundred times yes."

The official shook his head. It was a real life War of the Roses.

"And do you, Mrs. Scott being of sound mind and body wish to permanently dissolve your union with your husband, Nathan Daniel Scott?"

Haley looked at the smirk he had borrowed from Dan and thought about all the insults over the weeks combined with being left to roast in the sun while waiting for a car.

"Actually, I wish to murder my husband, Mr. Scott, and string him up on a meat cleaver by his balls but if divorce is the best you can do…"

"Mrs. Scott, please!"

"Fine! Yes, I wish to dissolve the union."

"So be it. The motion to your mutual petition has been granted and the judgment will be filed in the Office of the Civil Registry effective immediately. In one to three business days, the U.S. Embassy will send the papers to you. Please sign and hand deliver them back to the same Embassy and absolute divorce will be granted immediately. Thank you and have a good day."

The gavel sounded and it was over. Well, almost. But just like that. Seven years was about to be over. Haley was relieved. She thought it would hurt more but Nathan made it impossible to hurt. He was however good at pissing her off. He seemed to excel in that.

In as little as 24 hours and 72 at the most, they would be divorce. A package would be mailed to the hotel, they would sign it, return it to the Embassy and the Scott union and any connection thereafter, would be finished.

Standing outside, it was hot. The sun was unbearable. Finally a single taxi pulled in front of the building. She could see him going for it and it was payback time. Seeing a golden opportunity, a devilish grin appeared on Haley's face. She let him take a few more precious steps before setting her plan into motion. Sunglasses concealing her eyes, she approached a group of adolescent boys.

"Do you all speak English?"

They shook their heads no. Damn! At times like that, Haley cursed herself for not finishing high school.

"Um, okay…basketball?" she made a dribbling motion.

"Si, si!" the boys said excitedly.

Bingo! Jackpot!

"Quiere usted el baloncesto?" she asked, hoping she had just inquired whether or not they liked basketball.

"Si! Si!"

"Look", she pointed. "Nathan Scott."

The boys' eyes widened as they began to converse animatedly in Spanish before rushing the unsuspecting superstar. In the blistering sun surrounded by a bunch of kids who didn't speak English. That should keep the asshole occupied for a while, she thought. The perfect payback.

She breezed ahead and hopped in the taxi as Nathan frowned, knowing what she had done. She could only grin and wave and say one thing…

"See you later, sucker!"


	31. Mother Nature's Wrath

Haley moaned as she bit into a cupcake. The catered treats from the hotel were to die for. There was nothing she liked better than curling up with a good book and enjoying a yummy dessert. The only thing missing was her guitar. She regretted not brining it partly because she hardly traveled anywhere without it. And with the impending finalization of her D I V O R C E, there would certainly be a surplus of new songwriting material available.

Dozing off, she felt the jerk. It was a quick shake at first then it was as if the entire floor began to tremble.

"What the hell?" she muttered?

**MEANWHILE…**

"Say it", Meg giggled.

"Hell no."

"Nathan, I am not getting off this phone until you say the words. Come on. Say it. 'I love you, Binky Bear'."

"No", he laughed. "That is the gayest thing I've ever heard of."

"Nathan!"

His smile faded as he felt the room shake. The glassware at the mini bar rattled and the bed jumped beneath his weight.

"Oh shit!"

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked.

"Let me call you back, Meg. I…I think we're having an earthquake or something."

"Oh God! Are you okay? Nate…"

"It's cool, babe. I'm fine. Let me call you back."

He got up to investigate but cursed as another jolt threw him back down.

**MEANWHILE…**

What was thought to be a routine and slight tremor turned into rumbling. The earth was literally moving. It was prolonged and harsh, causing the people to panic. Even in digs as nice as the Ritz, the rich, famous, and pampered were not beyond fear.

"Is everything okay?" Haley asked, poking her head out of her door.

"It's just a small earthquake, ma'am. Everything is fine. Go back to your room. I can bring you some hot tea if you'd like?"

"No thank you", she said, the worry not subsiding especially when the employee was sounding like the guy from Titanic right before the ship split in half and sank.

Haley shut her door and tried to calm her nerves as she climbed back in bed. For a few moments it was quiet and peaceful, then she felt another round of solid tremors. Fighting back tears and panic, it was a battle she ultimately lost when she heard what sounded like a fright train barreling straight towards her.

Haley's heart pounded. Then she heard some sort of alarm sound throughout the entire hotel. Little red lights began to flash in her room and someone came over the loudspeaker in a terrified voice that spoke quickly and in Spanish.

"What's happening?" she whispered out loud.

Walking to her bay window, Haley's eyes widened. It looked like a special effect from a Hollywood action movie. She could see a huge tidal wave in the darkness, water as high and far as she could see.

"Oh my God!"

"Ma'am!" said a voice from outside that banged on her door.

Haley ran to open it.

"What's happening?" she asked in a horrified tone.

"Earthquake! Tsunami! Everybody must evacuate! Now!"

Tsunami? Haley had heard about those on TV. She had seen their path of devastation. She had prayed for its victims and survivors. Now she was caught up in the dubious fury of Mother Nature.

Leaving shoes and everything else behind, Haley ran into the hall, pressing the elevator call button furiously. With the alarms going haywire she realized in an emergency type situation, the elevators were not in service. The only way out was the stairs! Stairs! She was 49 floors up! Was it possible to make it out in time?

Haley opened the door, stunned by the rushed, panicked mass of people filing out from every floor. All she could do was join the crowd and hope not to get trampled, pray the case wouldn't collapse underneath all the weight.

It was unreal, like a movie. There was no air. People were everywhere and they were screaming and crying. It was mass pandemonium. Somehow, someway, she made it to the first floor, which wasn't much better. Ankle deep water had started to seep in and an employee was unsuccessfully trying to give instruction and comfort to the thousands of people.

Haley closed her eyes and mouthed a silent prayer as tears spilled down her cheek. She couldn't remember a time when she had been so afraid. She had never been that afraid. Several times she pinched her arm, hoping to wake up from a terrifying and surreal nightmare but each time her eyes fluttered open, she was still in that same spot standing barefoot in water in the midst of the shocked and frightened people.

"Please God…please let it be okay", she whispered.

Too late. She heard that brutal and loud rumble and her eyes widened at the huge wave headed inbound, a thin spread of glass the only thing separating her from sudden and sure death.

**MEANWHILE…**

"What the hell is going on here?" Nathan made his way through the crowd. "How do we get out? What do we do?"

He cursed and looked down at the water soaking through his sneakers and socks. For a second it was eerily silent, then there was a thunderous sound like an airplane taking off. Nathan looked up, his blue eyes as big as saucers as he saw the wave. It was huge, 30 or 40 feet maybe and it was coming straight towards them.

His mouth opened but he couldn't speak or scream. His muscles were paralyzed by fear. Then he saw her standing next to the window. She was so close! Too close! So tiny, the wave would surely wash her away.

"No!" he tried to scream but it the sound remained trapped in his throat.

He could feel his heart about to beat itself right out of his chest. He tried to run for her but the people were in his way. So many people. They were panicking and screaming and bunching up. He didn't want to hurt anyone but he had to get to her. He had to protect her. Seven years ago, he had promised to protect her always.

In slow motion the water callously barreled toward them. Then his voice came. Just like that, it was back. And the word, one word he hadn't been physically able to utter and one word that made him sick with rage when he heard other people use it, escaped his lips.

"Haley!"

She turned but it was too late. The water shattered through the glass. It went black and Nathan felt himself engulfed in the freezing liquid. He kicked to the surface somehow, finding himself alive and unhurt except for a few cuts and bruises. He was outside, although he didn't know where. It was pitch black and he was so cold it felt like a thousand hot daggers searing through every inch of his body. His arms felt like lead and just when there was no hope, he saw it. A tree. The broken path of moonlight led the way.

Just a little more…just a few feet away…don't fucking give up now, Scott!

He screamed as he made it, touching it with his nearly frozen fingertips. He grabbed it and climbed to the top, cold, relieved, scared and confused all at once. His whole body ached and so did his heart as he saw the mass of screaming people being carried out to sea around him. He tried to reach, tried to help but he couldn't. They were gone.

"Haley! Haley! Haley!"

For years he couldn't speak her name and now he couldn't stop. Oh God, she had to be out there, somewhere in the night.

"Haley! Haley!"

No answer except for a mass of inaudible screams.

"Haley!"

And then he heard it. He didn't know if it was a miracle or if he was delusional. He heard the voice.

"Nathan!"

"Haley! Haley!"

"Nathan, help me!"

He followed the sound and saw her struggling to keep her head above water.

"Haley! Swim to me! Don't stop kicking! You're almost here!"

"I can't!" she cried.

"Haley, don't stop swimming!"

Gasping for air and fighting the pain, she struggled over to him. In total darkness she could see his hand reaching out for her, his final act to protect her.

"Nathan!"

"Hales!"

She reached out and their fingertips brushed. He had her.

"Nathan!" she sobbed.

"You're okay, Hales! I've got you."

"Nathan…"

"It's okay", he said softly.

Then another small but nevertheless powerful wave swept by. And in an instant , he lost his grip. She was going under…fast!

"Haley!" he yelled out to silence and darkness.

No answer. No sight from where she had vanished.

"Haley!"

Still nothing.

"Haley!"

She was gone. He had been robbed of that final opportunity to make good on his promise and protect her. He had lost her again. This time it was for good.


	32. A Family's Worst Nightmare

**_Author's Note: Usually, there are a few faithful reviewers that I like to publicly acknowledge for their support and comments but to my delight and surprise, there are so many of you that I really can't name everyone. I am shocked at the response but I love itand it's nice to see you share the same passion reading that I do writing this one._**

**_To answer one question though, that seems to be on lots of minds, is how do I update so fast? The answer or should I say answers...a) when you're excited and in a "writing mood", the words and ideas just seem to flow. b) I'm a super fast typist so it doesn't take that long to write 3 and a half to 5 pages which is the average length per submitted chapter and finally c) a comfy government desk job where I get to run reports and do computer stuff all day. Idle hands are the Devil's work, so I write fan fic, lol! Gotta love Uncle Sam and I hope you all are comforted that the Nation's security is in the hands of someone who'd rather write about Naley and Brucas as opposed to doing some real work. God save us all!_**

**_But anyway, as always, the feedback is greatly appreciated. I never give spoilers, however if you have individual questions about other stuff, just submit them or shoot me an e-mail and I will try to answer everyone. Thanks again..._**

**_Mal_**

**_aka_**

**_gooseles_**

**_aka the Puppet Master_**

Peyton awoke with a start. In the dead of a brutal North Carolina summer, her entire body was paralyzed with cold and night sweats. She'd had a bad dream. In it she had taken Jenny to the beach. They had been playing in the water when all of a sudden a huge wave came out of nowhere. Peyton had reached out for her daughter but she couldn't get to her. All of a sudden, Haley appeared. She was safe and all she had to do was reach out for Jenny, just extend her hand. But she didn't. She just stared at the crying little girl struggling to keep her head above the surface. Why wasn't Haley helping her?

"Haley! Haley, get her! Grab Jenny's hand!" Peyton screamed.

Haley didn't move. Instead she began to laugh. She laughed evilly and hysterically and after a while, Peyton could not decipher whether the sounds were actually laughter or sobs. Just as Jenny went under, Peyton sat straight up. She looked over. It was almost five in the morning. The room was dark and quiet except for Jake's familiar soft snore. Slipping out of bed, she walked down the hall to where Jenny's door was slightly ajar. She carefully approached the bed and breathed a huge sigh of relief when she found her daughter peacefully tucked in and still sleeping. Rubbing her head and placing a kiss on her cheek, she left the room but was unable to return to her own. The nightmare had rendered her wide awake and even though it was evident the girl was safe and sound, Peyton could not rid herself of the disturbing feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Already up, she crept downstairs to put on a pot of coffee. As the machine warmed up, she used the remote control to turn on the living room television, making sure the volume wasn't too high. At the ungodly hour, the only choices were cartoons, infomercials and the news so Peyton chose the latter. She was fumbling for a mug when she heard the devastating information that caught her attention.

"…And back to the breaking story unfolding in the Dominican Republic, which was ravished earlier this evening with an earthquake and tsunami. Santa Domingo was the hardest area hit and tourists and residents alike were immediately evacuated to higher ground. Still no word on the number of missing and those feared dead. We go to a live shot of the damage…"

Peyton's heart pounded. The TV broadcast images of land flooded for miles with cars and houses floating in the water as well as people desperately clinging to trees as their only source of survival. It was unreal and she couldn't imagine the situation. Then she remembered. Nathan and Haley were still in the Dominican Republic getting their divorce finalized. Damn, what city did she say? Peyton closed her eyes and tried to hard to remember what Haley had said. After a few seconds, she could hear the words "Santa Domingo" as plain as day.

"Oh God", she whispered, the coffee mug dropping and shattering on the floor.

"Pey", Jake sleepily called out as he headed down the steps.

"Jake…"

He looked at the panic on his girlfriend's face and the pieces of the ceramic cup surrounding her bare feet.

"Peyton, what happened? What's wrong? Baby, you're gonna cut your foot."

Ignoring him and the broken pieces, she lunged for the phone.

"Keep an eye out on the news", she instructed.

"What…"

"It was a tsunami. Thousands of people are hurt and stranded and some are even dead."

"Oh my God."

"Nathan and Haley are there, Jake."

Jake's eyes widened as he immediately turned up the volume while Peyton made her phone call. She dialed the numbers and paced the floor anxiously waiting for an answer. Five rings later, it came in a thick mumble.

"Hello?"

"Lucas? It's Peyton."

"Peyton? Dude, you know what time it is? Is everything alright?"

"No. Turn on your TV."

"What?"

"Just do it, Luke."

"Fine", he grumbled, searching the tussled covers for the remote. "This better be good. What channel?"

"Any news channel."

Lucas rolled his eyes but did what he was told. It took less than a minute for it all to register why Peyton had called so upset. Immediately Lucas was wide awake. His heart skipped when he saw images from the grand Ritz Carlton. There were people everywhere but as far as he could see, no sign of Nathan or Haley.

"Luke, what do we do?" she asked in a concerned voice.

"Hold on a sec", he said, putting his cell aside as he picked up the main phone at the beach house.

His calloused hands shook as his fingers punched in the number.

"Please God", he prayed out loud.

"What's up? You've reached Nate. I can't get to the phone right now but leave a message and I'll hit you back."

"Damn", Lucas muttered as he tried the other number.

"This is Haley and obviously I am unavailable at the moment. You know what to do at the sound of the beep so do it and if you're lucky, I'll call you back."

"Shit!"

"What?" Peyton nervously asked.

"I just tried their cells. Straight to voicemail."

"Oh God…"

"Let's not panic. Look, you keep a lookout for the news and I'm going to try calling the hotel and shelters or whatever. They said they evacuated a bunch of people, right? Nate and Hales are probably safe and secure in some shelter driving the other people there nuts with their arguing."

"Okay", she said, sounding more than unconvinced.

"It's okay, Peyton. We'll find them. They're fine."

His voice sounded calmer and surer than he felt inside as he dialed the hotline broadcast for families of people in the Santa Domingo area. After an hour of being shuffled around and put on hold, finally he was connected to a Red Cross volunteer who regretfully stated that no Nathan Scott or Haley James had been reported on the survivor manifests.

Lucas took a deep breath. It was too soon to panic just yet. It was still early. Thousands of people had been rescued. Maybe the processing of names was just taking a little longer than planned. In his pounding heart, there was still hope. They were alive. They were okay. They just had to be. Nevertheless he knew what he had to do. He couldn't let Dan and Deb wake up to such news on a television. He called them immediately and was relieved when his father answered. Somehow he pictured him to be more in control emotionally than Deb would be.

"You okay, son?" Dan grumbled. "Last time I got an early morning phone call from you, you and your brother had managed to land yourselves in jail. What kind of trouble have you gotten into now?"

There was no way to sugarcoat the situation.

"Dad, there was an earthquake and tsunami in the Dominican Republic. Santa Domingo was hit pretty hard. The entire area has been evacuated but there are people missing and stranded everywhere."

"Nathan…"

"The first few floors of the Ritz were flooded. A huge wave hit it pretty hard. Some of the people are stranded or missing or…"

"Nathan is fine", Dan cut him off. "Your brother is a survivor, Lucas."

"I know but uh…he and Hales haven't checked in yet. I'm still calling around but I wanted you and Deb to know."

"Thank you. Get dressed and get yourself together and come over. We'll convene here until we hear from him."

"Okay."

"Someone should call…"

"I know. Listen, I'll take care of it, alright? You just make sure Deb is okay."

Dan hung up and Lucas sighed. There was one more phone call to make yet and Lucas knew that one would be hardest of all. He dialed and she answered groggily almost right away.

"Meg? It's me, Luke. I…I have something to tell you…"


	33. Between Safety and Sudden Death

"Haley! Haley! Haley! Haley!"

He yelled her name frantically over and over again. There was no answer. In fact, there was nothing but eerie silence. There had been the panic stricken screams and cries of others in their situations but now it was just quiet. Dark and quiet.

Nathan, his bloody fingertips clinging to the tree serving as a lifeline, leaned over and downward as far as he could. He peered into murky waters in an effort just to get a glimpse of her. If he thought he could, he would have jumped in that ocean and saved her. At that moment, he had little regard for his own life. He wanted to find her, to save her but they wouldn't stand a chance in the water.

"Nathan!"

She bobbed to the surface out of nowhere sputtering out his name and it scared and relieved him at the same time.

"Haley!"

She popped up once more, her hands reaching out for him. So close yet still so far away.

"Nathan, please!"

"Reach, Hales, reach!" he commanded.

Damn, just a few more inches and he could get to her. He stretched his lean frame as far as humanly possible and just as he saw her go down again, he grabbed her wrist. She seemed so fragile in his grip but he couldn't let go. He knew that if he let go, that might be it. There might not be another chance.

"Haley, hold on! I've got you!"

He could feel his grasp slipping as he grunted. His fingers clenched around her and he pulled with all his might. Finally terrified and exhausted, her mouth and nose filling with water, Haley emerged with enough strength to pull herself up. She was safe, they were safe for the moment and she collapsed in the small space between Nathan's body and the tree. Shaking, she began to sob.

"It's alright, Hales…"

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" she coughed.

"It's okay."

"We're gonna die up here, Nathan!" she cried.

"Haley…"

"We're gonna die, Nathan! Nobody's gonna find us up here!"

"Haley…"

"What if another wave comes? What if…"

"Haley!" he said firmer, looking right in her eyes. "We're not going to die, alright? I promise you. Somebody will see us and they'll help us. We might have to hang on until morning but we'll be okay."

She could do nothing but put her head against the tree and sob. It was surreal. Clinging to a flimsy tree for dear life with her almost ex husband surrounded by nothing but darkness and water as far as the eye could see. She had thought she would drown each time she became submerged in the water. It was so cold and dark. The currents were so strong it was almost impossible to actually and her body ached from being thrashed around by the cruel wave. She had come within an inch of death and she knew it. The person who had come to the rescue was an unlikely savior. Despite everything that had happened, everything they had put each other through and their very reason for coming to the Dominican Republic in the first place, Nathan had followed through on that promise he had made to her seven years ago on the night after their wedding. The night she'd had a panic attack that they had made a mistake and he held her and assured her they hadn't and that he would always protect her. It was his promise to her. Over the years she could close her eyes and mentally go back to that moment. Now it was real and true. As frightened as she was, as bleak as the situation looked, she knew she could trust that he would be there. He would get them out of it, he would protect her…or give his own life trying.

Her tears gave way to sheer physical exhaustion and a couple of times she nodded off. Nathan would succumb to his own weariness but he would always keep one eye open just to know that she was there and they were okay for the moment. As his eyelids grew heavier, he held her a little tighter, the warmth of the two bodies their only protection from the cold.

If cold was a factor for the night, they would not be prepared for what daylight brought. Nathan opened his eyes and groaned. They had made it till morning but there was no sign of help. The sun was shining brightly, beating its unrelenting heat right over their unprotected bodies. It was more than hot. It was liked being cooked alive.

"Haley…"

He looked down at her almost limp body, his own frame doing nothing to shield her from the rays. Her back, exposed from the sundress was red and tender already beginning to blister from sunburn.

"Hales, wake up", he prodded gently.

She stirred and raised her head, then whimpered. The nightmare wasn't over. The good news was they were still alive. The bad news was they were still hopelessly stranded. Her body still hurt beyond belief added only by swarms of pesky mosquitoes literally gnawing away at her flesh.

"Nathan", she cried out.

He knew they couldn't stay there. He was so sure help would come at the rise of the sun but now he wasn't sure. And even if he did, could they hold on? God forbid the branch gave way or another wave came. Nathan wasn't sure how much longer they could hold on. Desperately his eyes searched the area. The water was all around them. It had covered the land. It was impossible to tell what had been ocean and what was actually flooded ground. To his rear left he could see what looked like an abandoned hut sitting atop higher ground. If he could just get to it. The only thing between them and shelter was a merciless body of water. Nathan didn't know how strong the current, the temperature, or how deep. It looked a good distance but he was confident he could make it. If he were alone he would have gone for it without a second thought. But he wasn't alone. He was strong enough but he wasn't so sure about Haley.

"Hales…"

She was weak and limp. The sun and bugs eating away at them both was unbearable. Pretty soon they would need food and drinking water. If he could just make it…

"Haley. Hales, open your eyes and listen to me. We have to get off this tree, okay? We can't stay up here."

"Nathan…"

"Look behind us. See that little shack up there? It's not so far. If we can just make it there, we'll be okay."

Haley raised her weary head but she crumpled when she saw what was between them and shelter. Water. Nothing but water.

"We can't", she sobbed. "I can't do it, Nathan. I won't make it."

"Yes, you will. Just hold onto me, okay? I'll swim for both of us. You just have to hold on and kick your legs a little bit."

"I'm scared…"

"We don't have a choice. Just trust me, okay? I won't let go. I promise."

Her eyes begged for him to find another solution but she knew there was none. All she could do was trust him. He had saved them once. Could he do it again?

Nathan carefully climbed down the tree and lowered himself in the water. It wasn't so bad but he knew he had a ways to go. He reached his arms up for her and slowly she came to him. When they were both in the water and semi comfortable, she wrapped an arm around him and he swam them towards safety. It felt like forever. Mentally it was torturing to look around and see nothing but water but he kept on swimming.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah", she whispered.

"Hang in there. We're almost there, okay? Just a little bit further."

She nodded and clung to him and hours later they were at their destination. She went first, as it would involve climbing one more tree and maneuvering a swampy knoll.

"Nathan…"

"Don't look down. You've got it. I'm right behind you, Haley. You're not going to fall."

His words guided her and when they were finally on land, she collapsed in tearful, grateful exhaustion.

"We made it", she sobbed over and over again. "Oh God, Nathan we made it."

They had and what an incredible feat. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a tree with coconuts on it. They needed nourishment and would take what they could get. Nathan pulled one down and cursed when he realized he had nothing to open it with. Finally after furiously banging it against the ground, it split. He shared the juices with Haley and used a stick to break apart bigger pieces for them to eat. That would sustain them until help arrived and he knew it would…eventually. They had been through too much, made it too far for it not to.

Haley raised herself to a standing position and walked slowly over to the hut. There was basically nothing inside but it had a roof and four walls and enough coconut around to help them maintain until they were rescued. She lowered her head and tearfully mumbled a prayer of thanks. Nathan had saved her and God had saved them both.

Nathan ran his fingers through his hair. They had made it. It had taken nearly all day but they had made it. Standing up, he went to join her. As he did, in the distance he watched the tree that had supported them all night long give way and disintegrate, the smooth water carrying away the remains of the branch.


	34. Command Central

Camp Scott read like a who's who of Tree Hill. Dan, Deb, Megan, Lucas, Brooke, Jake, Peyton, Jenny, Coach Whitey Durham, Keith, Jules, and even Karen and Andy. The mood was solemn and for the most part quiet, silence only broken by idle chit chatter and the background noise of the television. Each time the telephone would ring or someone knocked on the door, everyone's hearts fell in their stomachs. Hoping for the best, dreadfully attempting to prepare for the worst, relieved when it wasn't the latter. There was nothing to do but wait. Wait and worry and hope and pray.

Curled up on the end of the sofa Meg sat with a crumpled tissue in hand, tears running down her distraught face. She had cried so much her blue eyes were completely raw. She was exhausted but sleep wouldn't come. Her body nor her heart could rest until she heard Nathan's voice safe and sound with her own ears.

"Okay guys, I made dinner", Karen announced. "We all need to get a little something in our stomachs so…"

"Please, Chef Boyardee", Dan scoffed. "My son is missing for God's sakes. Now is not the time or place for everyone to sample your new truffles. Have a little decency, please."

"Dan, please!" Deb admonished him.

"No, Deb, it's okay", Karen nodded, holding more class in her pinky finger than Dan Scott did in his entire body. "I understand. We're all under tremendous stress right now. Waiting is the worst but everyone still needs to eat a little something. I'm sure Nathan or Haley will be calling any minute now."

"Haley?" Dan bitterly laughed. "What nerve she would have!"

"Dan…"

"No, this is all her fault anyway. She's the reason my son is in this mess. That little witch has been nothing but trouble ever since she first set foot in this house to tutor him."

"Have a heart, man", Keith shook his head. "Haley is out there just like Nathan is. We're praying for her safety just like we're praying for him. This is no one's fault. Those kids don't deserve any of the things that have happened to them."

Dan smirked as he dramatically clapped his hands.

"Nice speech, Boozy. How long did it take you to come up with that one? I tell you what, go have another drink and we'll talk about it then."

Dan sneered and Keith backed down at Jules' urging as to not cause a scene. Deb shook her head and ran off, disgusted, in tears.

"Look, fighting amongst ourselves is not helping anything", Lucas interjected. "It won't make Nate or Hales call any quicker either. Everybody let's just try to calm down."

Not being able to take the silence anymore, Megan slipped away from the family and friends, wandering into Dan's private study where she found Deb. The older blonde stuffed a few pills down her throat and chased them with a glass of water.

"Megan!" she said, surprised not to be alone.

"Deb, I'm sorry. I…"

"It's okay", she managed to force a smile. "I'm not a junkie. It's just some Valium that was prescribed to me. I take it every now and then when Dan is getting on my nerves or times like this."

"I understand. I just had to get away. I know everyone means well but it was getting to be too much in there. It's suffocating almost. And the waiting…God, it's the worst, you know? I keep telling myself that they're okay but if he was really okay, he would have called by now."

"I remember when Nathan was little and he had to have his tonsils out. I went to the hospital chapel that night and sobbed because I had the worst feeling that something was going to go wrong and that I was going to lose him."

Her eyes began to moisten with tears as she lowered her head in her hands. Meg leaned over and hugged her.

"He's okay. Nathan is strong. He's a fighter. He will be just fine. We won't lose him, Deb. We won't lose either of them."

"Poor Haley. God, they must be so afraid."

"He'll take care of her", Meg said bravely. "I know Nathan."

"I hope so. I just can't believe Dan would be so heartless."

"Me either. He's not the man I thought he was. I know you guys weren't very fond of her but geez. This is life and death here."

"It's not that we didn't like her", Deb offered. "Dan? Well, what can I say? He was just being Dan, I guess. He never thought Haley was good enough for Nathan. She was a sweet girl and very good for him but all Dan saw was the kind of house she lived in or what her parents did for a living. It wasn't up to his standards."

"Like me?" she asked quietly. "I mean, I'm a good person or at least I try to be. I love Nathan. Why does Dan welcome me with such open arms yet he can't even allow himself to feel compassion for Haley at a time like this? Is money and social status really that important?"

"I don't know what to tell you, honey. For some people it is."

"What about you?"

"It doesn't matter to me, Meg. I like you for you. I think you're a nice girl and I see how much you love my son. Haley's a good girl, too. Once upon a time, she loved Nathan very much, too. I admit I wasn't very pleased with his emancipation and their marriage at 16. They were just babies. I knew it wouldn't work out and that scared me. I feared for them and I blamed Haley. But it wasn't her fault. None of it was. Not them getting married and not even her leaving."

"They're okay", Meg wiped their eyes. "They have a lot of people praying for both of them."

Deb hugged her again.

"You should get back, sweetie. Try to eat a little something."

"I will", Megan stood. "You coming?"

"I'll be there in a sec. I just have a phone call to make."

Meg nodded and left and when the door shut, Deb pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket. She stared at the numbers written on it. She had spent all morning calling around and doing her best to retrieve the number and when she finally got it, she could do nothing but stare at it. But the staring was over. It was time for action. Taking a deep breath, she called it.

"Hello", came the cheery voice on the other line.

"Lydia? Lydia James?"

"This is Lydia. Who wants to know?"

Deb struggled to calm her nerves and find her voice.

"Hello, Lydia. This is Deborah Scott, Nathan's mother."

There was understandable silence on the other end for a moment.

"Mrs. Scott…what a surprise. Long time, no hear. What do I owe the honor?"

"I apologize for bothering you and I hate to call under such circumstances but there is a problem. When is the last time you spoke with Haley?"

"Haley bub e-mailed me last week. I'm sorry, Mrs. Scott but what is all this about?"

"Deb. Please call me Deb. Were you aware of the fact that Nathan and Haley are still married."

"Come again", Lydia laughed. "That's a new one. My daughter neglected to mention that tiny fact. How did that happen? I thought the marriage was annulled."

"Long story but that's not important now. What is important is that Nathan and Haley flew to the Dominican Republic a few days ago for a divorce."

"The Dominican, huh? Not too shabby."

"Lydia, have you been watching the news?"

"Yes, I…"

Lydia halted mid sentence. Then it hit her all of a sudden like a ton of bricks.

"Oh my God! Is she…are they okay? Deb, have you heard from them?"

"Not as of yet", Deb sighed. "But we're still hoping and praying. We have a contact phone number there but so far they have not been accounted for. I'm sure it's only a matter of time though. I know you and your husband travel on your Motor Home a lot and maybe you weren't aware. I thought you should know…from one mother to the next."

"Thank you. We had no idea. Jim and I are actually in Alabama right now and…"

"Maybe you should come back."

"I think that's a good idea. We'll contact our other children and set up shop at a hotel. We sold our house years ago."

"We're in this together. It's both of our children out there. I know I wasn't always so cordial in the past but things have changed. If you come back to Tree Hill, feel free to come here. You and your husband are welcomed. Stay as long as you need to. Stay as long as it takes us to find them."

"Thank you, Deb", Lydia nodded, fighting back tears. "Thank you."

Deb hung up the phone and collected her emotions. Her son would be okay. So would Haley. They had to be. It would all work out. She wouldn't rest until she heard their voices. Both of them.

Gathering her thoughts, she headed back to the madness of Command Central set up in her living room.


	35. Defining Moments

Nathan watched her as she slept. It was another morning and they had survived their second night. She was okay, despite the circumstances. They had been through a lot. She looked so tiny and fragile huddled up on the floor.

He used to watch her sleep all the time. How funny it was that such a simple act was one of his favorite past times. There was always a bit of a rush the nights he used to sneak in her window at her parents'. Mr. and Mrs. James were cool and it was proven later they knew what was up but still the last thing Nathan wanted was to get busted by her mom and dad. He remembered the first time he had watched her sleep. Really watched her…

_His eyes opened up slowly and it took a few seconds to realize where he was. But then he did…all the memories of the day before came flooding back and Nathan couldn't help but smile. It had happened, it had really happened. And all the proof he really needed was lying curled up beside him. He stroked the side of Haley's face as she slept peacefully. Sure they had shared the same bed before on all those nights when he snuck through her window at her parents' house but this was different. Everything was different now. They were married now. As corny as it sounded, Nathan could have laid there forever just watching her sleep._

"_Hey you", she smiled as she stretched and yawned. "How long have you been awake?"_

"_A few minutes", he shrugged. "You sleep okay?"_

"_I slept great but I had the strangest dream."_

"_Oh?"_

"_Yeah. I dreamt we actually got married yesterday", she grinned._

"_Really? Well that is weird because I had the exact same dream. Oh…wait, we did get married yesterday."_

"_We sure did", she laughed. _

"_We sure did."_

"_How do you feel?" she asked, taking on a more serious tone._

"_I feel great", Nathan answered honestly. "Happy. Safe. Like we made the best decision ever and everything is going to be okay."_

"_Yeah…me too."_

_He took her smaller left hand in his and let their ring fingers entangle._

"_I love you, Hales. Right here, right now let's just always be like this."_

"_Promise? I mean, I hope you…I just hope you never get tired of me."_

_She was dead serious and it almost made him laugh out loud. _

"_Get tired of you? I'll never get tired of you, Hales. I just hope you don't get tired of me. You're never getting rid of my ass. We are always going to be just like we are right here, right now."_

"_Always", she sighed as he rolled on top of her and they began to kiss._

_Nathan loved the feeling of going to sleep beside her every night and waking up next to her every morning. He loved the feel of her in his arms and how natural and incredible it was lying naked side by side._

"_Always", he said again as the kissing grew more passionate._

"_Nate?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Make love to me", she said in an almost pleading voice that my made his heart melt._

Haley's eyes fluttered but she dared not open them. Not just yet. He was already awake and he was staring at her. She could feel his gaze. It had been a crazy 36 hours and they had barely survived something out of a bad action film. Now they were alone just waiting to be rescued. Sure he had saved her life but that was in the heat of the moment. She had no idea when she opened her eyes which Nathan Scott she would wake up to me.

So she lay completely still. She dared not move. Instead she let her mind wander to that strange place between sleep and consciousness. That was her happy place, the one place she could go and remember the good times before everything changed and life got so complicated…

_They sat quietly on the bench waiting for the city bus to come. It had been a tense few days. First he had discovered the "secret" tattoo on her lower back of his jersey number. Then they had argued about sex and whether or not he was trying to pressure her into it. They were hanging on but just barely._

"_Nathan, I know I'm driving you crazy", she finally nervously blurted out.  
_

"_No you're not."  
_

"_Do you think that I'm a tease?"  
_

"_Stop it", he told her._

"_Well what do you think?"_

_Nathan sighed.  
_

"_I think that you're my girlfriend, and I like to spend time with you. Look I just don't want to push you."  
_

"_You're not", she replied in a quiet voice.  
_

"_But I am. Haley, you got a tattoo for God's sake. It just freaks me out a little bit because obviously this whole thing with us means a lot to you. I just don't want to do anything to pressure you. Or drive you away. Even though sometimes I can't help it. Just like I can't help that I fell in love with you. Because I did. I love you, Haley. And it scares me, a little bit…but, there it is."_

_Haley couldn't believe it. It was what she had been feeling all along and what she had secretly yearned to hear him say. Just three simple words. Words that sent her into a tailspin. Words that made her feel happier than she ever could have imagined.  
_

"_Wow. There it is", she smiled as she softly kissed his lips. "I love you too."_

It was the moment that defined them. The moment that changed everything. Over the months and eventually years, there would be other defining moments. As she lay still on the cold, damp floor of the abandoned little hut, she realized they were experiencing yet another one.


	36. Secrets She Never Told

Megan lay flat in the hammock in the Scott's backyard staring up at the stars. She wanted to be alone and the night gave her comfort. Wherever Nathan was, whatever he was doing, whatever was happening Meg could only hope that he was staring up at the same sky and the same stars and thinking of her too.

"Hey kiddo, you okay?"

Megan looked up. Brooke.

"Hey", she said softly. "I'm okay. Thanks for asking."

"I was worried", she said softly in her scratchy, throaty voice. "I just wanted to check on you."

Meg nodded like she understood. She certainly appreciated it.

"Want to come up and sit with me for a while?" she offered.

Brooke smiled as she joined her friend and they began a quiet vigil of unspoken thoughts and prayers.

"You need anything?" Brooke finally broke the silence.

"Besides Nathan?" Megan smiled.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I…I shouldn't have said that. Meg, I don't…"

"It's cool. No one knows how to react in moments like this. There's no instruction pamphlet for it or anything. I wish there were so at least I would know what to do. Because right now I don't. I keep crying but at the same time I'm on the phone and keeping busy and watching the news looking for his face and just trying to help everyone else."

"No one expects you to, Meg…"

"I know but if I don't, then I'm gonna break down. I mean really break down. I can't do that now. I have to be strong."

"You really love him, don't you?"

Megan smiled.

"I do. God, I do. So much. So much more than you can imagine. I love everything about him. He makes me laugh and he does sweet things that make me cry sometimes. And I love his eyes and his smile…and his laugh. I love his heart. You know, no matter how tired or hurt or pissed off he is after a game, he'll never deny little kids an autograph. And you should see their faces. They love him. They just light up when they see him. I love that, you know. That side of him that a lot of people don't get to see. The tender and patient side. The kind side."

"I know what you mean. A lot of people don't see that side of Nathan. I don't think he wants people to see him like that. I've known him for a long time but I've seen it."

"Life has been so crazy lately. I know you probably think I'm crazy for marrying him…"

"Maybe a little", Brooke laughed.

"What can I say? He's my soul mate. I've found the guy I want to be with for the rest of my life."

"And it's just about love, huh?"

"Just about love", Megan repeated. "I don't care about what he does or what he did in his past or anything except how he makes me feel."

"That's kind of scary."

"Just like with you and Lucas?"

Brooke half smiled.

"It's not that simple. Broody and me go way, way back. It's not as black and white when it comes to us loving each other. There's a whole lot of gray there in the middle, trust me."

"A lot happened when you guys were kids? I've kind of heard some of the horror stories. I don't mean to pry but I know about the whole Peyton triangle thing back in high school."

"Who could forget?" Brooke rolled her eyes. "Yeah it did get messy there for a while. We dated and for like the first time ever, I totally let my guard down and allowed myself to fall in love. Because I knew he was a good guy and I knew he was worth it."

"What happened?"

"Things just didn't work out. That's the story and history of our entire relationship unfortunately. It was always something or someone else. It was a bad break up. I seriously hated him for a while. Then it was awkward, then we were civil, then we actually became good friends. We're still good friends, flirty friends sometimes", she laughed.

"You still love him, don't you? I guess you never really stopped. I see it in your eyes. I see it in his eyes."

Brooke shrugged.

"What is love really? I mean, he's a great guy and we do have this amazing connection but I don't know if I believe in fairytale endings anymore. Sometimes it seems like it would take nothing short of a miracle to bring us back together again. And you know what? I accept that. I've been okay with that thought for a while. Maybe our time has passed."

"Maybe it hasn't."

"Who knows if we'll ever find out", the brunette sighed.

"Maybe you should, Brooke. Don't let that ship pass you by. It could be your last real chance for true happiness. Don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. Gosh, there are so many things I wish I had said to Nathan. Because…because I don't know if I'll get that chance again."

Her voice trailed off and she began to sob.

"Oh Meg…"

"I'm sorry."

"No. It's okay. Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. It's okay to cry. I'm here for you."

"I'm just so scared, Brooke. Oh God, I've never been this scared before. I just need a sign or something to let me know he's okay…alive. My mind is going crazy. How can I eat when I don't know if he's hungry right now? How can I sleep knowing he might be hurt or scared?"

"We've just got to keep faith. Close your eyes and know that you will see him again. It's something you have to believe inside."

"I have to. I just…"

"Oh sweetie, it's okay. Cry it out. Just let it out."

"I have to talk to him again, Brooke", Megan sobbed. "It can't be over."

"I know."

"No, you don't understand. Nathan can't be dead. He can't be because I never got the chance to tell him."

"Tell him what, sweetie?"

"I…Brooke, I'm pregnant."


	37. Cabin Fever

**_Author's Note: I am in a hurry so I can't personally thank all of you right now but you have no idea how much I want to! You guys rock! I mean that! I am so floored right now! I can't respond to every comment but I read them all. So I say, you're awesome, keep them coming, keep reading and some of you need to get out of my head, lol! But I love you guys! More detailed author notes tomorrow, I promise with some individual shout outs._**

**_Secondly, if you're reading this chapter now and you have the OTH soundtrack, put on the song "Sidewalks" while you're reading. Just a suggestion, lol. It's like strawberries bringing out the flavor of champagne!_**

**_Finally, this is for...uh ,mature readers only! Be grown or be gone, kiddies!_**

**_Love, Mal_**

"You okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine", he said, avoiding eye contact.

"It's just that gash behind your ear. It looks pretty bad, Nathan."

"It'll be okay."

"I don't know. It just looks bad. Let me see it."

"Haley, I'm fine", he said, trying to move away before she touched him.

Her hands trembled as she made contact with his skin. She carefully examined the wound.

"I think it might get infected."

"Well, hold on Haley let me get my Doogie Howser medical bag and patch it right up", he half joked.

She smiled a little bit to let him know she wasn't offended.

"We should make a bandage for it."

"Out of what?" he asked as they looked around.

There was nothing so Haley looked down at her already tattered dress. She ripped a piece of the bottom and folded it, placing it over his injury.

"What?" she asked as he eyed her.

"Nothing. I'm just impressed. Let me guess, Girl Scouts, right?"

"I don't mean to brag but did you know I earned the Girl Scout Gold Award. That is the highest achievement that can be earned in Girl Scouting, requiring at least 50 hours of service to complete, mind you."

Nathan chuckled in spite of himself.

"No, I wasn't aware of that but congratulations. Ripping up your expensive dress was very…Scout like of you. Thanks."

"You're very welcome and if we ever get out of here, promise not to tell Brooke. This dress is Prada. I think she'd have a fit."

"Your secret is safe."

They smiled and enjoyed a moment.

"You know what this reminds me of? Remember that time the check bounced for the electric bill? The lights were only shut off for like a day and a half but it was pure torture."

"Yeah", he laughed. "I was so pissed. But you made it fun or at least you tried to. It was totally gay but we pretended like we lived in old times like Little House on the Prairie."

"It wasn't gay. You had fun."

"I wouldn't go that far…"

"It wasn't so bad."

"We survived."

"Barely. Remember you were bumbling around in the dark and you stubbed your toe on the shelf and knocked a piece of the Wedding Wall loose."

His smile faded as he did remember.

"Yeah", he answered in a monotone voice.

"Whatever happened to that thing anyway?"

Nathan's body stiffened. He remembered exactly what happened.

"It got destroyed."

"Destroyed?"

"Yeah", he shrugged. "Freak accident. The night you left and ran off with Chris, I kind of picked up the precious little keyboard I spent two weeks worth of pay on as a present for you and threw it into the wall. It sort of shattered and I took what was left and uh…accidentally put it in a bonfire at Wrightsville Beach."

She tried to ignore the hurt building. Stranded and exhausted, for a few hours they had been able to co exist as normal people. But one question, one stray comment set him off. Sometimes for her, remembering wasn't so bad. For Nathan, there was nothing worse.

"Stupid question but did you really hate me that much?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah", he said without missing a beat. "I was pretty pissed off. So much so that I painted the walls of the apartment bright pink."

"Why?"

"Because I know you hate it. Oh and then I put up a huge picture of this freaky looking clown to creep you out when you got back but uh…we both know that never happened. You never came back."

His voice was laced with venom.

"Nathan, I couldn't. I wanted to but…"

"You don't have to explain", he said coolly. "It's over with now."

"Maybe I do owe you that much…an explanation. I never gave you one. I didn't come back because I couldn't. I knew I hurt you and I knew you hated me. You didn't understand how I felt, why I did what I did."

"Why you fucked Chris, you mean?"

Haley rolled her eyes as her blood pressure mounted.

"I never had sex with Chris Keller! Damn, do I have to hire a blimp to fly around the country stating that?"

"You expect me to believe you never slept with him?"

"Yes!"

"Bullshit!"

"No, it's not. It's the truth, Nathan. Nothing ever happened. Nothing."

"You could have fooled me with all those love letters he wrote to you."

"They meant nothing to me."

"Is that why you kissed him?"

Haley sighed loudly with exasperation.

"I was wrong, okay? Damn! That's where I screwed up, Nathan. I can admit that. But it was a mistake. It was overwhelming. I was a 16 year old wife and that was weird and stressful enough but then I had the chance to sing and get out of Tree Hill. I know it doesn't change things or make you hurt less but I was young and dumb and confused."

"You can't hurt me anymore, Haley. Those days are over. We're even now."

"Is that what this is about? You know, I made my mistakes but when it came to supporting your dreams, I was always there. High Fliers was an amazing opportunity and I encourage you and…"

"I gave that up for you!"

"But you didn't have to. I never asked you to do that."

"You didn't have to, Haley! It was a choice! My choice! Working on our marriage was more important than some stupid camp!"

"It was important to me, too", she whispered.

"Yeah? You had a hell of a way of showing it."

"I had to go, Nathan! I had to see what was out there for me! I didn't want it to be the end for us! I loved you! I wanted you and the music!"

"Then how come you never asked me to tour with you?"

"Because", she stammered. "It was too complicated. I was just a guest there myself. We had no money and I was ahead in my classes. It wouldn't have been right to pull you out of school."

"What the hell are you, my mother? Save it, Haley! You did exactly what you wanted to do! Having your husband on that cramped little bus would have been a major headache when you were trying to get it on with your little boyfriend."

"God, leave him out of this, please!"

"Why?" Nathan laughed. "You feeling guilty?"

"For the kisses, yes. I was wrong. They were wrong. But I didn't have feelings for him. He wanted me but I couldn't control that. For me, it was all about the music. Everybody wants an apology or an explanation and I'm fucking tired of it, Nathan! Why couldn't I have that one thing? Huh? Why do I have to apologize for what I want? Why couldn't I do one damn thing for myself without having everyone freak out? My whole life, I was practical and reliable and responsible. I did everything expected of me…"

"Until you married me."

"Yes! That was the first out of character thing I did for me. And the freaking world didn't end! No, it kept right on spinning. So I took a chance on the other thing that made me happy. And that worked out, too! All you had to do was trust me, Nathan!"

"Trust you? Are you on crack? I tried that. I watched you do your little interview and you humiliated me on national TV. You let him get away with saying you two were together."

"I couldn't stop him. They cut the shot before I had a chance to. It was just marketing and publicity. And believe me, when it was over, I let him have it."

"I bet you did."

"Not that! I slapped his face, Nathan!"

"Whatever."

"Whatever? That's your answer for everything. Fine! You want to play it this way? I'm tired of this shit. Tired of arguing and begging you and trying to play nice by your rules. It's over now! Spilled milk, water under the bridge. Either we make it out of here and we both go on with our lives and you marry your trophy fiancée or we both die! Either way, I'm done talking about it!"

"Typical Haley", he smirked. "You're the victim, I'm the bad guy. Story's getting kind of old, Hales."

"Screw you! All I ever did was love you! I loved you and I believed in you! I did everything for you!"

"No, you did everything for yourself."

"Bullshit!" she screamed.

"You want to call bullshit?" he stood up. "You know what I went through with my parents. Haley, I had no one. No one but you. You knew how hard it was for me to love and trust. But I loved and trusted you anyway. Shame on me, huh?"

"You didn't lose me because of Chris. You lost me because of you. Because you couldn't handle my success. Because you're Dan Scott's son. Because if Nathan is not in control and things aren't perfect, you freak out! I loved you!"

"No, you didn't!"

"Yes, I did!"

"You didn't love me!"

"Yes, I did! I loved you so much! I never stopped! I love you now!"

Nathan became enraged. He charged at her slamming her tiny body into the wall as his angry fists pounded against it on either side of her.

"Don't fucking say that to me, Haley! Don't lie to me! You're just like my selfish fucking whore of a mother! She abandoned me for a guy and so did you! At least she can admit it! But don't say you love me! You have no right! Don't bullshit me, you stupid bitch! Don't you ever bullshit me! We're over!"

Haley whimpered and cowered at his sudden outburst. He looked in her eyes and saw the genuine fear. Catching his breath, he backed away trying to regain some sense of control. She just stared at him.

"It's not over", she said. "It wasn't over then and it's not over now!"

She stood on her tip toes and pressed her lips into his. He resisted for a while, stunned but in seconds he was giving in to angry, suppressed pleasure. He slammed his lips into hers, expecting the timid kisses of his shy and demure Tutor Wife. But she had disappeared long ago. In her place was a woman with wants, desires and needs. And Haley wanted him! She desired her husband! Ms. James needed one last night!

They kissed so roughly, neither flinched when their already bruised bodies crashed into the wall. She matched every movement of his tongue with her own and she moaned when he lifted her off the ground. Instinctively her legs wrapped around his waist. His hands made their way down her neck to her breasts, which were barely contained by the already torn flimsy material. He looked in her eye, contemplating his next move but she made it for him. She pushed the fabric to the side, exposing the twin beauties he had found such pleasure in years before. His teeth bit at her nipples, an entire mouth lavishing affection on each supple mound, causing her to cry out. She adored both the flicking and licking motions that teased her into passionate oblivion.

A trail of wetness appeared between her hot, aching thighs as she felt his hardened arousal against her leg. She ripped at his shirt and though the nipple ring was long gone, she gave his sensitive buds the attention she knew would drive him wild. Nathan moaned in spite of himself, his hands reaching around to grasp her firm and perfect butt. He could feel the heat literally pouring out of her body and the very feel and smell of her was enough to drive him insane.

Never breaking the kiss, he ripped the panties off of her and jammed two fingers inside her. He loved the flood of sweet honey he felt as he massaged her sensitive folds and finally her love button. Haley yelped out loud, loving the pleasure and intensity of each moment. Her hands feverishly worked to get him out of his pants. Feeling the warm, hard member was like a tease, only making her work that much harder to get to the prize. Nathan resisted.

"Nathan", she panted his name.

He grabbed her neck and pushed her head back, turned on beyond all belief as the wild curls from her hair cascaded all over the place.

"What do you want?" he grunted.

"You", she whimpered.

"Say it! Tell me! Tell me how much you want it!"

She looked into his icy blue eyes.

"Now! Now, Nathan! I want, I need you to fuck me!"

He needed no further invitations. His pants and boxers fell to his ankles as he pushed his tool deep inside her. Hard and quick and they both gasped. Years before they had made sweet tender love in bed. Those days were gone. He loved fucking her against the wall. Haley cried out, wrapping around him tighter. Her muscled clinched and she enveloped his lower portion with her feminine moisture. He moaned. It felt better than he remembered. He had waited for that moment, thought about it for years and no fantasy compared the real deal. He continued to kiss her roughly all over and pound into her. They were miles away from civilization with a slim chance of being found. Why not spend the last days arguing and having mind blowing sex? She had no protests. Haley just wanted more. More and more. She only wanted him.


	38. Better Late Than Never

**_Author's Note: Okay! Well, I wasn't going to write today because I have work at the office that needs to be done but two things changed my mind...1) I realize that I work for (one person in particular) incompetent and ungrateful indivduals who are more concerned with image, self and politics as opposed to the mission and the people and 2) I read some of the most amazing reviews coming for familiar and unfamiliar names. With that being said, how can I NOT update today? You guys deserve it!_**

**_There are a few that stood out and I must mention them although I feel bad because I don't want to offend anyone by not mentioning them and believe me, I APPRECIATE everyone who reads and especially those who take the time to review. It means a lot. But I have to give a few shout outs so..._**

**_Nathan's Manna, who is too cute! Even when you get behind, you take the time out to give your thoughts chapter by chapter._**

**_GIRLNBOY521, for your enthusiasm!_**

**_Charli, for your understanding!_**

**_Nicola, for being a sweetheart and using her precious and limited computer time to read my stuff. That means a lot!_**

**_RoseRows, I just look forward to your comments! You make me smile!_**

**_And finally Sw33t Lavender, just for "getting" what I'm doing!_**

**_Everyone else, you rock, too! All of you! Now enough of my rants and thank yous, onto the story. Keep reading as I am off to work on another update. Because of you guys I can do it with a big smile on my face, despite the fact what Gavin DeGraw says ("I'm surrounded by LIARS everywhere I turn, I'm surrounded by IMPOSTERS everywhere I turn") rings sooooo true for me._**

**_Last but not least, a million and one apologies to those of you on my Alert list who had to endure a bunch of what you thought were updates last night but actually it was me reformatting the story. Ever so often if you go over 31 chapters, the first 25 mess up and are out of sequence and it's a mess. Someone brought the broken links to my attention so I fixed them. E-mail me if you find more, please..._**

Dan Scott collected himself before exiting his bedroom. After all, he was Dan Scott. Cocky, arrogant, brash, proud, egotistical, powerful, controlling, dominant, commanding. He had a reputation to uphold. Adjectives used to describe him did not include words such as emotional, weak, vulnerable and fragile. It didn't matter that his beloved son had been missing for days and was feared dead. He was not allowed to show the searing pain he was surely feeling inside. It was something he couldn't even share with his wife and Nathan's mother, Deb. It was a private hurt saved for those rare stolen moments alone. Behind closed doors, he could allow himself to take in the severity of the matter. Only then could he shed tears. When those few minutes were over, it was time to face his family, his "friends" and the world. It was time to be the authoritative enigma that truly was Dan Scott.

He walked downstairs to the small crowd of people that had temporarily taken over his home. The usual faces were there but two additional ones had been included. He hadn't seen them in years but his body stiffened as the recognition was still there.

He frowned seeing Deb and Karen talking to them. He should have known. Typical Deb to pull such a stunt. Dan rolled his eyes. Sometimes he felt like strangling her.

"What's all this?" he smirked as he approached the kitchen area.

"Dan, you remember Jim and Lydia James", Deb acknowledged. "They're going to be in town for a while."

"Ah. I see you've made yourselves comfortable here at Ground Zero headquarters."

Jim and Lydia looked away uncomfortably while Karen and Deb just shook their heads sadly.

"Dan, can I see you for a minute?" Deb stated more than asked as she led her husband by the arm into a private room.

"What the hell is this, Deb?"

"Nice work, Dan. That should make them feel right at home."

"This isn't their home, Deb. May I dare to ask what were you thinking? Our son is missing because of Haley James and you dare invite those ingrate parents of her to stay in our home without asking me?"

"Their daughter is missing, too, Dan. For God's sake, try to have a little compassion, please."

"Compassion? For them? This is all their fault in the first place. Had they had the common sense to stop two 16 year olds from getting married, our Nathan never would have been in this ridiculous situation."

Deb rolled her eyes and threw her hands up as she left the room to rejoin her company. There was no sense in trying to reason with his stubbornness. Jim and Karen had reconvened with the others in the living room while Lydia remained behind sipping hot tea.

"I apologize for my husband's rudeness. He's under a lot of stress. We all are. This is a very difficult time."

"I understand", Lydia nodded. "I know this can't be easy having us here with all the things that has happened between our kids. I appreciate you extending the offer. It's very kind of you at any time Jim and I start to wear out our welcome, you just kick us out on our butts. We're not here to cause any problems."

"It's no problem. Really."

Lydia smiled as she handed a photo to Deb.

"I was looking at this on the drive here. Haley bub was eight years old."

Deb stared at the smiling, adorable girl in the blue party dress.

"She's beautiful."

"I know it may seem kind of corny or stupid or whatever but I just can't put it down. It brings me comfort."

"It's not corny or stupid", Deb said as she pulled out the first grade school photo of Nathan that had been tucked away safely in her back pocket. "I haven't been able to stop looking at Nathan's pictures. I just miss him so much…"

"Despite everything that happened, Nathan is a good kid. You raised a fine young man."

"I'd like to think that I did. He's a great person and I'm so proud of him but I wonder how much my influence had to do with that. When he was little, he was a total Mama's boy. Dan used to hate it. So as soon as Nate was old enough, Dan put a basketball in his hand and thus the journey to stardom began, I guess. Things changed as he got older. I was a homemaker at first but I ended up taking a job at a local charity foundation. I traveled a lot. I made a few mistakes. Somewhere along the way I lost him. He was so far gone and by the time Haley came along, I was thankful. She literally saved him. The pressure from Dan to be great at everything was too much and it ruined our family. I filed for divorce and Nathan chose to live with me but uh, his father wasn't having it. He kind of forced my hand of having to admit that one of my extended business trips wasn't about business at all. I'm very ashamed to admit it now but I had run away with another man. I confessed to Nathan and it hurt him very deeply. Our relationship never quite recovered. He moved in with Dan where he was equally miserable until he became emancipated. Losing my son was devastating but who could blame him? The next thing I know, Dan has a heart attack and Nathan and Haley are married. It was all too much."

"They were a sweet couple, Nathan and Haley", Lydia fondly remembered. "So young and in love. We liked Nate a lot. When he and Haley first came to us with the idea to get married, we laughed. I thought they were kidding but they weren't of course. They were dead serious…and madly in love. I saw that and I really respected it. My husband was totally against it at first but I really pushed for it. It was what Haley really seemed to want and I trusted my daughter's decision. She always had been smart and grounded and on most days she could be more mature than Jim and I. I know for her to come to us like that, it had to have been real. So Jim and I discussed it, I convinced him, we signed the papers and you know the rest. I honestly thought they would make it. I feel horrible that they didn't."

"Me too, believe it or not. I was less than pleased and I took out a lot of my frustration on Haley and even you and your husband. I used to pray and think of ways to break them up. But when it happened on its own, I thought I would be happy. I wasn't. Because I saw how heartbroken my son was and you know no mother wants to see their child suffer. In a way, I blamed myself. Maybe if I had been nicer or more understanding…who knows?"

"Don't feel guilty, Deb. Been there, done that. As soon as she married, Jim and I brought the RV and hit the open road. I had so much faith in Haley but at the same time, I loss sight that she was still a kid. Maybe she could have handled things better with a little parental guidance."

"I guess we can't beat ourselves up now, huh? No need for Monday morning quarterbacking. We can't change the past and we can't control our kids or their lives."

"And we sure as hell can't control destiny."

Deb sighed and nodded.

"You're right. You know, I'm really glad we finally had this talk. It might be seven years too late and less than desirable circumstances but I'm glad we sat down like this."

"Better late than never", Lydia said pointedly.

Taking a deep breath as an effort to fight back tears, she reached out for Lydia James. They hugged. Two human beings, two women, two mothers feeling the same pain of the bleakest, most unimaginable situations. In the darkest hours, they would find comfort in each other. The blades of fear, anxiety, exhaustion and grief would keep them strong.


	39. Wandering Minds, Racing Hearts

They sat huddled in opposite corners of the small hut with no sense of the time that had passed. Their bodies were exhausted and hungry and weak. Their minds were engulfed in a tailspin of emotional confusion…

**Nathan's Thoughts:**

_I can't believe this shit! None of it! It's crazy! It's a nightmare I keep expecting to wake up from but every time I open my eyes, nothing has changed. I'm still in this tiny little shack thing and there is water as far as I can see. I feel like I'm trapped and that's the worse. I swear to God, if I ever get out of here, I will have so much more appreciation for the simple things. Man, I really want to brush my teeth right now. And a shower would be nice. And food! I am fucking starved! I want real food, not damned coconuts! The coconuts are killing me. God, if You save me this one time, I give You my word that I will never, for the rest of my natural life, eat another coconut anything!_

_Yeah, I want real food. Chicken, no wait…pizza. Or a nice, big, juicy steak! That's what I'm talking about. That would definitely hit the spot right about now. Oh and some of Karen's cheesecake from the café. The chocolate kind. And an ice cold Pepsi to wash it down with. Megan hates when I have pop to drink but I think she'd be willing to make an exceptions this one time._

_Meg. That's my girl. My heart. She's been on my mind lately. I miss the hell out of her. Her laugh and her smile and just the way she looks at me. I honestly love her. Yeah, I can say that. I do. I'm marrying her, aren't I? Right…then why did I spend a day and a half having sex with Haley?_

_God, I'm trying not to look at her now. She knows it and she's playing the same game. She thinks I hate her and in a way, she's right. I know I hate what she did. I can't and won't get over it…ever. And I'm not buying those crocodile tears and sob story that she loves me. Yeah right! If she loved me, she never would have left me. Music was more important than me. Chris Keller was more important than me. In my life and my heart, Haley was always number one. Nothing came before her. Not basketball or my family even. _

_Now we're stuck. All of places, of all things to happen. Hell, it would take a natural disaster to bring us together like this. God, where is everyone? Don't they know we're missing? Aren't they looking for us? I don't want to die. Not here. Not now. I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to go yet. I feel like I have a whole lot of living left in me. There's so much I want to do. I'm young. I'm just 23. There's so much ahead. I'm about to marry Meg for God's sake!_

_Meg! Yikes! I'm torn between being torn up about possibly never seeing her again. The only thing more frightening is…well, seeing her again. I don't know if I could face her after what I did. With Haley. It's cheating. It's wrong. I've never cheated on Megan. Never. Until now. Until a few hours ago. Not once, not twice but God forgive me, three times!_

_I totally couldn't help it. Lame excuse, huh? But Haley makes me so goddamn mad! Never in my life have I hit a woman but boy did she make me come close. I wanted to pound her head in the ground, choke her, grab her and literally shake the shit out of her. And she had the nerve to cry? Hell, I should be the one crying! She fucked up my life. _

_I couldn't help myself. I always thought she was beautiful…irresistible almost. She's so sexy even now in that torn, tattered dress. I remember the first time I ever made love to her. She made me wait until our wedding night. I was so ready to get it on but she looked so sweet and innocent at that moment. All I wanted was to be gentle and tender. I wanted to hold her and protect her from everything. Man, she was so scared that first time, her legs were shaking. I went real slow and I kept telling her that I loved her._

_Even after that, sex with us was always about lovemaking. Slow and romantic and soft. It was beautiful. She would say it was a magical expression of our love. I used to think she was right but uh…things have changed! She practically raped me here! It was good, she felt good! It was a turn on watching her. She's so comfortable with her body now and she knows how to use it. I love it when a girl wraps her legs around me. And she was moaning and screaming and talking dirty! Damn, I'm getting another hard on right now just thinking about it. But when she touched herself…that was hot! _

_Wonder what happened to sweet little Haley? I bet I know. I bet Chris Keller happened. Taught her ass a few tricks or two. She expects me to believe she never bedded that loser? Yeah right! I'm not stupid! We're rotting away in this shit hole and she still can't even be honest with me._

_Haley really did a number on me. She really fucked me over. Everyone thought I would be the one to break us up but big surprise, huh? Little Miss Perfect over there is the one that fucked everything up. That's the difference between her and Meg. Meg loves me. Meg will never leave me. She'd do anything in the world for me, anything I asked her to. That's love. It's respect. It's loyalty._

_And look how I repay her? Nice going, asshole! I screw everything up, huh? Okay, if we get out of here alive, then I will just pretend it never happened. I'll just forget about Haley James. Forget I ever knew her. Forget the way she smiles at me. Forget the way she used to sing to me or hold my hand. Forget how patient she was. Forget how much I love, I mean, loved her. Forget how many tears I cried for her. Forget about how good we were together. Forget how much I needed her. Forget that nothing else matters…_

A million thoughts raced through their brains although neither one spoke a word. Ever so often they would look outside for help. Help that never came. Then their eyes would find each other and one would look away quickly, hoping the other idn't notice…

**Haley's Thoughts:**

_I wonder if anyone knows I'm…we're missing. As morbid as it is, on the road we used to play this game to pass the time by on the tour bus. It was something like, "If I die, who would care? Who would come to my funeral?" Now it's not a game anymore, I guess. I wonder if anyone is searching. Probably so but will they, can they find us here? Gosh, I wish there was someway to send a smoke signal or something. But we have nothing. Nothing but each other, a stack full of painful memories, a tree full of coconuts and three raunchy sex sessions._

_God, I never remember it being that good with him. Or maybe I was so young and inexperienced that I didn't know how good it could get. I was a prude back then. Not that I'm a wonton slut or anything now. I've learned most from my trusty vibrator. I'd never admit it to her face but boy was Taylor right! Those things are a must have for any woman! It's gotten me through some lonely nights…weeks…months…years even. I've only been with two men since Nathan. Partly because I never got over him, I guess. Let's see…there was Tyler's bassist, Kyle. He was a hottie but we never really clicked. And there was Sean. Sweet, smart, reliable, faithful…boring Sean. That's it. I guess no man really ever compared to Nathan Scott…in my bed or my heart._

_Wait! Holy shit! I just thought of something. If Nathan and I were still legally wed al these years, then I was technically married when I slept with Kyle and Sean! Oh God! Gross! I am an adulteress! A dirty, cheating Jezebel. Like I'm much better right now. I mean, if we die, then God forgive me but if we live…we have to live with the memories of what happened here between us. We live with the guilt and the consequences. Poor Megan. I wish she was a bitch so I could hate her. But she's not and I can't. She's just a nice girl who loves him very much._

_I can't believe I told him I still love him. That's something it took years to admit, even to myself. That was pretty stupid but I couldn't help myself. It just came out. I do love him, though. I think about it all the time now. How could I not? I think of what might have been. What if I didn't get on that bus? We would have made it, I think. And I would have been happy. I would have eventually gotten the music and being on the road with Michelle Branch. After all, you can't really miss what you don't know. I wonder if he still loves me. Probably not._

_In my final hours, this what I ponder. Did I make some horrible mistake? Was I wrong? Was I incredibly selfish? I was happy…we were happy once. Everybody has dreams? Who doesn't want to be a famous actor or musician or writer or some crap like that? And how many people does it actually happen for? Usually, it's just a stupid pipe dream, nothing more than a fantasy or wishful thinking. Most of us are put here on earth to just be normal. And what's so wrong with that?_

_Nathan swears out I didn't honor my vows but sadly we are keeping one…till death do us part. Who would have thought? Oh, the irony. It's like Shakespeare. Or more like Poe actually. I don't want to die like this. Who am I kidding? I don't want to die at all. I'm not ready yet. But I guess if it's God's will and it is time to go, I have lived a pretty extraordinary life. I met a lot of great people and did a lot of great things._

_What will I miss most? That's a tough one, James. I'll miss the music. I love music! It's a part of my soul, of who I am. I'll miss that feeling of being on stage playing and singing for thousands of people who paid hard earned money to come see me. I'll miss that connection to the audience and that zone I go in when all of a sudden it's just me and the harmony._

_I'll miss my friends. I'll miss Michelle. She's so awesome! I owe her so much! I'll miss not getting to know her little baby. I'll miss Jessica too. She is so sweet and goofy. And I'll even miss Chris. Despite the nerve racking cockiness, he's a real decent guy on the inside. And he believed in me. I'll never forget that. _

_I'll miss CAT. She's my baby. She loves me when it feels like no one else does. I'll miss those days chilling on the balcony, sipping lemonade, petting her while we look out at the beautiful New York skyline. I'll miss my brothers and sisters, too. Tristan, Austin, Vivian, Quinn and yes even troublemaking Taylor! And I'll miss Mom and Daddy. They were awesomely cool parents. I was blessed. And I'll miss Tree Hill and everyone there. I hadn't been around in years but I will miss it and the people forever. Tree Hill is a part of me. As much apart of me as the music._

_If we're going to die, I wish Nathan and I could have one last civil conversation. Say the things we never had a chance to before. I hate the hostility and the awkwardness. I'm so tired. I just want peace. I need peace…_

They sat up and looked at one another briefly but again the silence remained. Haley began to absently hum a tune. Nathan closed his eyes. He didn't know the name of the song but he knew he had heard it before.

A sound from outside earned their attention. Two hearts pounded as they scrambled for the door. Maybe it was their imagination…or maybe not. Please God…

"Anyone out there? Hello?"

They could see a small boat and people. Real people. Real people calling out to them. Nathan and Haley waved their hands and yelled, finally garnering the eyes of those sent to search for survivors. They had been rescued. It was over. Nathan grabbed the wall for support as he sighed the biggest breath of pure relief. Tears spilled down Haley's cheeks as the emotion and relief was indescribable.


	40. Tree Hill's Huge Sigh of Relief

Megan closed her eyes as she buried her face into the pillow. It was Nathan's childhood room and the one they shared whenever they visited Tree Hill. The blankets and pillows were warm and comforting. Most importantly, they still smelled like him. It made her feel close to him.

That and the activity, although too early to feel but it was surely occurring just the same, inside her. She smiled sadly as she rubbed her still flat belly. Inside her tummy was a mass of cells and tissues and fibers that would eventually become a living, breathing human being. It was created from so much love, the most honest and real and beautiful part of her relationship with Nathan.

She sighed. She appreciated the sentiment from friends and family but sometimes it became too much. She couldn't handle everyone being around her all the time. They meant well but it was suffocating. When it became too much, she would quilt retrieve to the upstairs bedroom. Sleep was impossible so she would lie there and wonder and worry and thing. It would drive her made. Then when the loneliness became too much, she'd find herself traping back downstairs to join the others.

Getting up, she headed towards the door. On the way out was an old photo of Nathan and Dan fishing. Meg smiled. Even as a little boy, he was a handsome blue eyed little devil. Her fingers traced the outline of his face as she felt the flood of tears again. She put her other hand, her left hand with the engagement ring on it, over her stomach.

"Daddy will come home, little one", she cooed to their unborn child. "We just have to believe and he'll come back to us."

She left the room and ventured back downstairs.

"Meg!"

"Mom!" she yelled, running to the woman who was an older but just as beautiful version of her.

"Hi, honey."

"What are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you. How could I not be here? Your father sends his love as well but he had other business to attend to on Capitol Hill. He'll be back from Washington as soon as possible."

The two women took a seat on the couch.

"Thanks for coming, Mom."

"How are you holding up?"

"Trying to keep the faith but uh…it gets hard", Megan sniffled.

Laurie Powell reached into her bag and pulled out her ever present Rosary beads. A woman of strong Catholic faith, she never left home without him.

"Don't lose your faith, Meg. Honey, faith is all we have. Faith and hope. You know that. God will protect Nathan and watch over him."

Megan nodded tearfully and accepted the Rosary. She was so tired and did not resist when her mother pulled her head onto her lap. Megan closed her eyes and cuddled the Rosary as Laurie held her close and stroked her hair. Just like when she was a little girl, she fell fast asleep.

They all had fallen asleep actually. It was a serene moment throughout the house. It was calm and quiet and eerily relaxed. The mood was quickly interrupted by the shrill ring of the house phone. Within seconds, everyone was alert and awake, eyes widened, hearts thumping.

"Oh my God", Mae Scott, said.

It summed up everyone's feelings. There was something peculiarly different about that ring and they all knew it. They felt it deep inside their bones. In the pit of their stomachs. In their hearts.

Closest to the telephone, Deb Scott stood. She couldn't feel her legs and her arms were like giant, awkward masses of jelly but somehow she managed to answer it.

"Hello?" she answered with a shaky voice.

"Good evening, ma'am. My name is Ruth Manson and I am with the American Red Cross. I am looking to speak with a Daniel or Deborah Scott, please."

The four walls began to close in and the oxygen slowly disappeared from the room.

"This…this is her, I mean she", Deb answered nervously. "I'm Deborah Scott."

"Nathan Daniel Scott's mother?"

"Yes", she squeaked.

"Mrs. Scott, this is in response to your family's inquiries as your son has been missing and unaccounted for since the tsunami's damage to his hotel."

"Yes. Is he…"

Deb held her breath.

"He's okay. I am happy to report both your son and daughter in law, Haley Scott were found alive earlier today. They are bruised and battered and understandably tired but in remarkably good condition in spite of the horrendous circumstances. Ma'am, would you like to take down the address and phone numbers of the hotel they will be transferred to after the medical team releases them."

"Yes. Yes, please."

Deb signaled for a pen and paper and hurriedly recorded the important information. She hung up, emotional and speechless. She was almost unaware of the audience gathered around her. They held their breath and their tears, literally shaking as they desperately tried to read her body language and emotions.

"Deb!" Dan finally said.

Her lips trembled as the words tumbled from her mouth.

"They found them…"

"Deb…", Megan breathed.

"They're okay. They're alive. They're coming home. Both of them!"

It took mere seconds to register but the sad faces immediately became smiles. There was an audible, collective gasp in the room right before it erupted into cheers and applause.

The relieved group's celebration lasted for hours but for Deb it was too much. She took a moment to mouth a prayer of thanks before heading out to the backyard. The tears flowed heavily then. She realized just how close she had come to losing her beloved only child. Jim and Lydia joined her where they shared a thankful group hug.

"He's okay, Deb", Dan whispered as he walked up behind his wife and snaked his arms around her still trim waist.

"Our baby is coming home", she mumbled.

"That he is. I never had a doubt."

"I'm so relieved and still on edge. I'm terrified for him to even get on the plane to fly back here."

"He'll be fine, Deb. And I know that because I intend to see it with my own eyes."

"What?"

"I've chartered a private plane. Lucas and I will go down and bring Nathan back home."

"Thank God", she sighed, hugging her husband. "Thank God."

He held her until she and Lydia were ready to return to the house. Jim let the women walk ahead so he could have a moment alone with Dan for a private conversation.

"Dan, I just wanted to thank you for putting the wife and me up the past few days. We really appreciate it."

"Thank Deb", Dan spoke without looking at him. "Trust me, it was all her brilliant idea."

Jim tried to ignore the indifference and callousness.

"Say buddy, I was wondering…I've been worried sick about my little girl and I'd love to go where she is and bring her home. I know it would make Lydia feel a thousand times better. Any room on that plane for one more?"

Dan turned and faced the other man. His face broke out into a wide grin, followed by villainous laughter.

"What do you think I'm doing here? Running the goddamned Salvation Army? Looking for another handout, eh, James? Well the Scott gravy train stops here. You want to see your daughter? Get your own damned plane. Haley is to blame for all this anyway. It's all her fault", he sneered. "As well as your own."


	41. The End of an Era

The CD player hummed the sweet soulful lyrics of Trespassers William. They had been the opening act for her first headlining tour and she had grown to appreciate their music. One particular song, "Lie In The Sound" had a poignant meaning for her. It always made her think of him. Of Nathan. Of what they had once shared.

_I love you more than I should  
So much more than is good for me  
More than is good_

Haley stood in front of the full length mirror. It felt good to have a shower and wear fresh, clean clothes. Physically she felt good as well. The bruises would heal and so would the bandaged cut on her forehead. She couldn't complain about the slightly sore broken arm she had managed to escape with either. It was now supported by a sling and a cast.

_Oh the timing is cruel  
Oh I need and don't want to need  
More than I should_

It had been a hell of a trip to say the least. She knew it would change her life but she didn't know how dramatically. Being so close to Nathan after so many years. Getting a divorce. Surviving the deadly earthquake and tsunami. Being trapped in the hut never knowing if help would come or if each passing day would be her last.

_I am falling  
Say my name  
And I'll lie in the sound  
What is love but whatever  
My heart needs around_

It seemed like an eternity ago instead of mere hours. Her treacherous ordeal had come to an end. She was on her way to the airport to catch a flight back to the States. She could go back to her New York loft and lie in her bed and hold her cat. Once again her life would be her own.

_Oh my sheet is so thin  
So I say I can't sleep because  
It's so very cold_

She reminisced about the past few days. The past few years even. No matter how she looked at it, it always came back to one thing…Nathan. She thought about the love she had once felt for him. How her young heart had ached for him. How happy and complete he had made her feel. They'd take long barefoot walks on the beach hand in hand, dangerously in love, deliriously happy. He was her everything. Her heart and soul.

_But I know what I need  
And if you were just near to me  
Would you go..._

But she left him. She abandoned their life together.

_I am falling  
Say my name  
And I'll lie in the sound  
What is love  
But whatever  
My heart needs around_

Call it what you want. Fate. Chance. Destiny. Kismet. Whatever it was, had brought them back together. Their vastly different worlds had managed to intertwine one final time.

She could still see the wave. When she closed her eyes, she heard the awful, loud and scary sound. Her life could have ended in seconds. It would have too, had it not been for him. His grit and determination to save her. His strong arms reaching out to protect her when it could have cost him his life as well.

_I am falling  
Say my name  
And I'll lie in the sound  
What is love  
But whatever  
My heart needs around_

They had never talked about it. Never discussed it. Too young and immature to give their union an honest try. Possibly it could have been saved. Their love could do anything, it could have survived. It took patience, trust, honesty, communication and a little effort. But the anger, hurt and sense of betrayal along with pride stood in their way.

_And it needs you  
Too much  
Now._

Struggling to swim to the hut that would sustain their very lives. Getting there and wondering if it was truly the end. The fear. The anxiety. It had been too much. Too much for them. Too much for any human being. That cramped little space. Tension, fears, nerves, emotions on edge. It was all bound to come out. The questions. The blame. The anger. The sadness. The desperation. The passion. The love.

They had sexually ravaged each other's bodies with a renewed hunger. She needed to feel his touch more than she needed to breathe. The moment they became one was like coming home again. It didn't matter if it was wrong because it felt so right. She would never apologize for those stolen moments. It wasn't cheating or animalistic lust. It had nothing to do with right or wrong. No malice or pain had been intended. For Haley it was all about love. Loving the man she had adored since she was a teen. The man who had made her a woman, a bride. Acknowledging that the old feelings hadn't died. Questioning if her decision to get on that bus had been the right move.

She picked up her purse and bag and slung them over her good shoulder. She turned to leave the comfortable, luxurious and plush new suite she had been assigned since her rescue and hospital stay. She opened the door but stopped short. She was forgetting something. She picked up the bulky envelope on the neatly made bed. Sighing, she gave the room one last glance over before turning out the light.

* * *

The radio played in the background. Story of the Year was the band. They were pretty good and he had heard their CD a couple of times. Now the song "Sidewalks" played like a soundtrack to his turbulent life.

_The bridge is all crumbled. _

_The water soaks into rocks _

_that fell at the bottom of the road (At the end of the town.)_

_The town that we lived in. _

_The memories shaken apart from the weeds that grow_

Dan and Lucas were on their way. He would be glad to see his father and brother. At one point he wasn't sure if he'd ever see them again. Now they were on their way. Swooping into town to save the day and see him safely home.

_Over the sidewalks, _

_Running away from the streets we knew, _

_Sidewalks, _

_Like the time we thought was made for you. _

_Or _

He would go back to a normal life or whatever the hell that was supposed to be. He'd go back to the gym and play ball. He'd go back to the parents that would surely be fawning all over him. He'd go back to the reporters eager for the scoop of how an NBA star bravely survived the tragic catastrophe. He'd go back to her…

_Out on the front porch, _

_Watching the cars as they go by_

_(Eighteen blue, twenty one grey) _

_Looking ahead for the first time that we could drive, _

_Out on our own, _

_To speed away _

He would have to face Megan. He'd have to look in those beautiful, trusting blue eyes of hers knowing what he had done. He would have to forever live with the consequences and resulting guilt from his actions.

_From the sidewalks, _

_Running away from the streets we knew, _

_Sidewalks, _

_Like the time we thought was made for you. _

_Or _

Haley. Haley Joy James Scott. His first love. The first person he had given his heart to completely. Not the first but surely the last to break it. He had loved her with every fiber of his being. Then he had hated her with an unexplainable fury. But in between two strong emotions, he had never stopped thinking about her. Never stopped feeling something for her.

_All of the days have passed us by, _

_All of the sun is gone... away. _

All of a sudden she was back in his life. As quickly as she had left and disturbed it, her ghost had reappeared to disrupt it once more. It made him angry. It touched him somewhere deep inside. It was too much. He couldn't control it. He couldn't handle it. It was too complicated when she came back. He had prayed for her return so many times but when it happened, it only messed things up. Nothing good could or would ever come of Haley James being in his life.

_Sidewalks, _

_Running away from the streets we knew,_

He had given in to passion. Need. Want. Just like he couldn't control his heart's rage for her, he couldn't control his body's ache for her either. Now they would go their separate ways. Once again, he was supposed to pretend like nothing ever happened. It wasn't supposed to matter.

_Sidewalks, _

_Running away from the streets we knew, _

_Sidewalks, _

_Like the time we thought was made for you. _

_(Sidewalks)_

_The bridges are crumpled, _

_The water soaks into rocks, _

_(Sidewalks)_

_That fell at the bottom of the road._

The song ended appropriately as there was a knock at the door. Nathan checked the time. Dan and Lucas must have been early, he thought as he opened it. On the other side, did not stand his father and brother. It was someone else. Once last visit from ghosts past.

"Hi", she said softly.

"Hey."

"I had to come here. I wanted to see you one last time, Nathan. I know this is it but I have no idea what to say."

"It's cool. Look, just don't say anything."

She handed him the package she had been carrying.

"That was my mistake last time. I never said good bye. So here it is. Here is my good bye to you. And my apology."

He simply nodded, not knowing what else to do or say. Haley gave him a longing look before hugging his stiff body briefly. And then, once more, she was gone. Out of his life. Nathan stared at the package before opening it.

There it was. The divorce papers signed by both parties. Notarized by the U.S. Embassy. It was official now. After seven years, it was over. After all the drama, pain, confusion and problems, the Scott union's tumultuous era had finally legally ended.


	42. Homecoming

Megan knew Nathan would never go for it. He wasn't the frills kind of guy. He was simple. A man's man definitely. But she didn't have the heart to stop it. Besides, that was his mother. How could she and what right did she have to tell Deb not to do it?

Of course Nathan would want to come home quietly and inconspicuously. That was just his way. He didn't want a cake or all the people fussing over him. And she could just see him rolling his eyes when he saw the balloons and banner that read. "Welcome Home, Nathan".

But she had been so excited putting it all together. That was her child, her only son. She loved him. She was celebrating. They all were. Happy that by the grace of a sheer miracle, his life had been spared.

There was happy and animated chit chatter throughout the Scott residence. It only ceased when the front door opened. A smug Dan entered first. You could have heard a pin drop as the people held their breath. Then slowly he entered. Nathan. Nathan Scott alive and well in the flesh.

They bombarded him, showering him with hugs and some kisses. Royal and Mae Scott. Keith and Jules. Andy and Karen. Jake, Peyton and Jenny. Brooke and Laurie. He winced, obviously uncomfortable but he obliged, just like a superstar would to a fan despite pain, fatigue or a devastating team loss.

He looked ahead. He saw her, tears clouding the blue eyes they shared. She was shaking, not believing that it was really him but thankful just the same. She loved him so much. She wanted to grab him and never let him go ever again.

"Nathan", she broke down as he embraced her.

"Hey, Mom", he said in a quiet voice.

She clung to him for a few minutes and he just let her remain in his arms. Then he looked a few feet away. Megan Powell. Her face was tired and her eyes were a bit puffy presumably from crying but she was a sight for sore eyes. She ran to him when Deb moved out of the way. She crashed into his body, into his sore, taped ribs. As much as he loved her, he had to force his arms to touch her. He had betrayed her and it had killed him.

Nathan was truly glad to be home. He knew he was safe. It was nice to have a window to look out of and ever so often he would peek through just to make sure there wasn't miles and miles of water. As relieved as he was to be back, everyone at the house seemed just as happy to have him back. They couldn't get enough of him, talking to him, touching him, bombarding him with question after question. They meant no harm and he knew it but more than their company, more than the delicious homemade meal that had been prepared for him, he just wanted uninterrupted sleep.

He excused himself early and made his way to the bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and shirt and let his head gently fall against the soft pillow. Slumber had almost found him when the door opened softly. From the lights of the inside hallway and the moon peering in outside, he could see her. She just stood in the entranceway looking at him.

"You gonna come in?" he finally asked.

"I thought you were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you."

"It's okay. Come here", Nathan beckoned.

She followed and climbed in bed, careful not to cause discomfort to his injuries. She nestled in the crook of his arm and he tenderly stroked the side of her face.

"I'm so glad you're back, Nate. I was so scared. It must have been awful."

"It was scary", he admitted. "It's funny what your mind and body can do just when you think you don't have anything left. The will to survive is pretty damned amazing."

"I prayed for you every night. Both of you. I kept hoping for that one phone call but it never came. I never stopped believing though. I knew you would come home to us."

"That's what got me through it all."

"Babe, I can't believe what you went through. I heard you saved Haley's life and you were stranded for days. My God, I can't imagine. It must have been terrifying."

"It was", he answered quietly.

"You are so brave, Nathan."

"Meg…"

"No, I mean it. It's no time to be humble. You're a hero, baby."

"I'm not a hero. I…I'm just a man."

"You're my man…and I love you."

"I love you, too", he pecked her lips.

"Nathan?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"Did you do it? You know, with Haley?"

"What?" he asked a little too quickly and harshly. "What are you talking about?"

"The divorce. I feel horrible for bringing it up. I…I just wanted to know if everything got finalized."

He breathed a guilty sigh of relief.

"Yeah. It's done. I'm a free man. Paperwork is in my bag."

"Thank God. It's all over, huh? I'm just glad everything turned out okay. And Haley…"

"Look, Meg, can we just…can we not talk about her?"

"Okay. We don't have to. You've been through enough. I just hope the experience has let you be more forgiving. She's out of your life, babe. You can let go now. But letting go means releasing the hate as well. You don't want to carry that around in your heart for the rest of your life."

"It's fine. It's done. I never have to see her again."

"I'm just glad you're back. It feels so good to see you, to hold you again, Nathan."

He stared out into the darkness.

"I missed you, too."

"Sweetie, can we talk for a second? There are just some things I never said to you and I really want to…"

"Look, I don't want to think about what happened there. Can we just forget about it?"

"Nate…"

"It's the past. That means nothing to me. Nothing else matters now except you and me and our future together."

"I know honey but I think we need to have a long talk about us and our future and…"

"I know. Okay, it's cool but not tonight, Meg. Please. It's my first night back. I don't want to talk or think. I just want to sleep and enjoy being back. Whatever it is you have to tell me, it can wait. All I want to hear right now is that you love me and all I want to do is hold you. Everything else can wait."

Megan was a little hurt. Her news couldn't wait. Or maybe it could. He had been through so much. He wasn't even acting like himself but who the hell could blame him, considering what he had been through? He would be alright. He just needed time. Time to adjust and time to recover. Once he had a few days, everything would be okay. They would return back to normal. She smiled, placing tiny butterfly kisses all over his face.

"I love you, Nathan. So much. I mean it. With all my heart, babe. I really, really love you."

"I love you, too, Meg."

"Then show me", she begged softly.

"What?"

"I need you. It's been so long. Too long. I need to feel you. Make love to me, Nate. Please."

Nathan shifted uncomfortably. He didn't know if he could.

"Listen, Meg, I…"

"What's wrong? Don't you want me?"

"Yes. Yes, of course I want you but I got pretty beat up over there. I don't know if I can and all. I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. I'm the one who should be sorry. You've been through hell and back and I'm being pretty inconsiderate and selfish right now."

"No, you're not."

"Just hold me, then. Please."

"You sure?"

"Sure, I'm sure", she smiled. "That's enough for me right now. I mean it. We have the rest of our lives to make love."

"Okay", he smiled uncomfortably.

"I can't wait to be your wife. Welcome back, Mr. Scott", she sighed contentedly into his chest as she settled into her fist peaceful sleep in days.


	43. Never Say Never

**_Author's Note: Because of the multiple updates, make sure you guys check the chapter numbers and titles to make sure you're reading them in the correct order and not missing anything..._**

Haley crept to the kitchen. It was well after midnight and she didn't want to disturb her parents. It had been a bit of a surprise but a welcome one just the same. They didn't see each other that often, no more than a few times a year if that. After what she had been through in Santa Domingo, all she really wanted was to come home and relax. It wouldn't be that easy.

Chris, along with her manager, Joe Martin had been there at JFK International airport to greet her arrival. They weren't the only ones there. A host of reporters had accompanied them. Weary and slightly disoriented from her ordeal, the last thing she was prepared to do was answer a bunch of questions and handle dozens of flashbulbs going off in her face.

Putting a jacket over her face, Chris had gallantly led the way to a waiting car that whisked them back to the loft. There were more paparazzi waiting at the residence and Haley cringed. It was just a matter of time and she knew it. They were like vultures. They never stopped until they got their story. The seedier and juicier, the better. And nothing would sell more papers and magazines than the secret teenage marriage of the sports star and the pop star and the rollercoaster that had taken place from the vows to the final chapter.

Once inside the loft, she chatted with Joe and Chris for a while and after they left to give her privacy, she had taken CAT and sat by the window watching the streets and putting her young life into perspective. Then she had seen it. The large, awkward RV pulling up to the curb. In typical unannounced James fashion, her concerned and loving parents had just shown up.

They hugged each other and cried softly. Haley spoke vaguely about what had happened and assured Jim and Lydia that her broken arm would heal. She talked little about Nathan and mentioned nothing that had happened between them during their sequestration in the abandoned shack.

Still it was nice to have them around. She forgot how much she missed them. And loved them. Jim always made her laugh and Lydia's comforting, maternal arms had always been a source of home for all six of her children.

"Can't sleep, huh?"

Haley jumped in the darkness.

"God, Mom, you scared the crap out of me. What are you doing up? Did I wake you?"

"Nah, just couldn't sleep that's all. What about you? You okay?"

"I'm fine", Haley shrugged.

"You sure?"

"Positive. The doctors say this stupid cast will be off in a few weeks and I'm actually getting ready to go back on the road with Chris."

"Another tour?" Lydia questioned. "So soon?"

"It's fine. I can handle it."

"I know hon, but after everything you've been through…I don't know. Maybe you should rest."

"Rest?"

"Yes. Hang out here with your cat. Go visit your brothers and sisters. Come on the road with Dad and me. Get a massage or a pedicure or a facial or whatever rich stars are supposed to do."

Haley smiled at her mother. Lydia Begard James probably had never been completely serious a single day in her whole life.

"Mom, I don't need any of that stuff. I'm okay. Really."

"Okay. So you go on tour, throw yourself into work, live out of a suitcase on a bus and planes, perform five nights a week, and then come back and go right into the studio for another album."

"That about sums it up", Haley smiled.

Lydia sighed as she took a seat on the couch and motioned for her youngest child to join her.

"Come here, Haley bub."

Haley did as she was told, taking a seat and placing her head in her mother's lap. Lydia gently ran her hands through the curly locks just like she used to when Haley was a little girl.

"Mom…"

"I'm worried about you, kiddo."

"Don't be. I'm fine. Everything is okay."

"Is it? I'm your mother. I gave birth to you. I was in labor with you for…"

"13 hours, 28 minutes and 6 seconds, Mom", Haley laughed. "I know, I know."

"That's right. That means I know you like a book. Probably better than you know yourself. And I know how you are about your work. You've practically been married to the music for the last seven years. On tour and in the studio you're focused and dedicated and meticulous…nothing else matters."

"It's important to me. I want it to be right."

"But it's also a welcome distraction. A defense mechanism you use when you don't want to deal with other things in your life."

Haley sighed.

"You're right in that I don't want to think about all the stuff that just happened. I'm ready to put it all behind me. The earthquake and the tsunami and being stranded and being scared thinking I was going to die…all that's over with now, Mom. I just want it out of my head."

"You experienced a super frightening ordeal and you survived it. It's all very traumatic but I know if anyone can go through something like that and be okay in the end, then it's you, Haley bub. I wasn't there, I don't know what it was like. Maybe it's best for you if you do try to forget but um…I just don't think that's the only thing you're trying to forget."

"What?"

"I'm talking about Nathan."

"Oh Mom…"

"That must have been a real doozy finding out you guys were still hitched all these years, huh?"

"Yeah, it was a shock, to say the least."

"So how was it in the Dominican?"

"How do you think?" Haley frowned, her voice taking on an edge. "I went to the Dominican Republic with my evil Dan Scott cloned estranged husband to get a quickie divorce so he can hurry up and marry his extremely beautiful, quite successful, college educated, Congressman for a father having, so genuinely syrupy sweet that you can't hate her, trophy fiancée. As if that weren't bad enough, an earthquake and a freaking tsunami nearly washed us away. I almost drowned a hundred times and I watched other innocent people, some women and children get swept under and it was Nathan who risked his life to rescue me. We clung to a flimsy tree for hours and endured the blistering sun and killer mosquitoes before we took a huge chance and swam miles to a little hut literally made out of sticks and mud where we were stranded for days, living on coconuts. I kept praying to God for help that never came and all I saw when I looked outside was water for miles and miles. So if you want to hear some fun Carnival Cruise like fairytale of a vacation, sorry, Mom, you won't get it here because mine absolutely sucked!"

"Are you done?" Lydia asked, not missing a beat.

"Yes", a flustered Haley hesitated, almost in tears.

"You still love him, don't you?"

"Mom…"

"No! No, okay? No, I don't love Nathan Scott."

Lydia laughed out loud.

"It's funny. You've been my daughter for 23 years and this is the first time you've ever lied to me."

"I'm not lying", she protested.

"It's written all over your face, girl. I see it in your eyes. And what did I tell you about people's eyes?"

"They never lie", Haley answered softly.

"Exactly. Listen, it's not too late, maybe…"

"Yes, it is, Mom. Our time has passed. Nathan has moved on. It doesn't matter how I feel. This isn't a movie or a TV show. It's real life. It's my life. There won't be a happily ever after ending for Nathan and me. Too much has happened. A long time ago, I made a choice, a choice that very well may have been a mistake. Regardless, it cost me. It cost me the life I had and the chance to ever get it back again. I traded Haley Scott, Tutor Wife for Haley James the rock star. There's no going back now…even if I wanted to."

Lydia listened intently and nodded.

"You believe in fate? That things happen for a reason? Well, I do. I always felt that you and Nate were meant to be, that your love was and is real. I don't know if you two are truly meant to be but I do believe you're soul mates. And soul mates always have a special connection, even if they aren't together. If it is really meant to be, somehow, someway you two will find your way back to one another."

"Through all this?" Haley laughed bitterly and sarcastically in spite of herself. "Through annulments and divorces and fiancées and tours and even natural disasters?"

"Stranger things have happened", Lydia hugged her daughter close.

"I don't know, Mom. I just think it's too late."

"Maybe…maybe not. But never say never."


	44. One On One

Nathan was alive, safe and well. Haley was alive, safe and well. Tree Hill had gone back to its normal tranquility and everyone could rest easier. Especially Lucas Scott. He was looking forward to returning to Philadelphia where he would remain for three and a half more weeks until his little brother's North Carolina wedding.

On the way back up North, there was one more pit stop to make. He dropped by Megan and Nathan's Charlotte home for a one day visit just to ensure all was well. Physically, Nathan's cuts and bruises had healed and he looked considerably better but Lucas couldn't shake the feeling that there was something else. Something bigger and deeper. Nathan just looked and seemed different. Lucas wondered if Megan could tell. If she could, then she didn't let it show. She went about her daily routine, Country Club wife smile plastered on her face, like all was right with the world.

"A little one on one before I have to take off, Little Brother?" Lucas offered when Megan had left to run an errand.

The two brothers headed off to the custom built basketball court that sat between the pool and tennis court on a perfectly manicured back lawn.

"Why not?" Nathan shrugged. "I was gonna save the ass whipping until the pre season but since you're asking for it…"

"All talk", Lucas grinned as he bounced the ball. "Okay. You know the rules, man. 15 by ones. Make it, take it, win by one, feel the intensity in the air. You ready for this?"

Immediately Lucas sank a beautiful 25 footer.

"Is that all you got?"

"Nothing but net, baby."

Lucas was smiling but not for long. Nathan made shot after shot and was two points shy of a victory before the older brother decided to step up the game. In the comeback of the century, Lucas brought the score to a tie. It was do or die in an effort to get the coveted game point. Lucas was in perfect position but before his hands could release the ball, he felt the sting as Nathan's elbow shoved roughly in his nose. He could taste the blood.

"Hey dude, what's up with the foul?"

"Foul?" Nathan panted. "You want to cry about it or are you gonna play, dipshit?"

Lucas dribbled and turned until he felt the push. Nathan stole the ball, and sank the shot for the win. Lucas landed on the hard pavement with a thud as a proud and shirtless Nathan grabbed the ball and threw it directly at his brother's chest.

"Game", he announced, obviously satisfied with himself.

Lucas shook his head and cursed. He tossed the ball as far as he could before getting up and stalking off. Nathan laughed evilly.

"Sore loser. Why are you being a punk about it?"

"Man, what the hell is your problem?"

"What? It was a game. I play to win. Can't take the heat? Then stay off my court. Go back up to Philly with the rest of the sissies and whine about it, why don't you?"

Lucas wiped his bleeding nose with his shirt.

"You know, I came here to check on you because I was worried. You're my little brother and I love you. I know what you've been through and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Obviously something is wrong. Because you've been through hell and back and nearly lost your life in a freak act of Mother Nature, I'm gonna forgive the fact that you've been a sniveling, mopey, brooding, prick. Once! Do this shit again, and I'm gonna beat your scrawny ass like you stole something."

"Luke…"

"Save it, man. I mean it. Screw this and screw you! You could have broken my damned nose. I don't know what your deal is but…"

"I had sex with Haley."

Lucas stopped dead in his tracks. He thought he had maybe misheard Nathan's words. The voice was so soft and barely audible that it was quite possible.

"Dude, what did you just say?"

"You heard me, man. Haley and I…we had sex."

Nathan looked dejected as he stared at the ground before flopping down on the cool asphalt. Lucas trudged over to him and sat beside him.

"Nathan…"

"It's killing me. Eating me alive inside. I had to tell someone."

"Talk to me, dude", he said softly. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I woke up that morning and it was a morning like any other morning. I showered, got dressed, had breakfast and then went to go get my divorce. It was tension there, Luke but how could it not be? We traded cheap shots that whole day. That night, I was just glad it was over. I wanted to move on and I was just glad it was over. I was talking to Meg on the phone and that's when the first tremor came. Man, it all happened so fast. Then when the first big wave came and everyone was in the lobby, Haley was standing next to the window. I just screamed for her. The next thing I know, we're outside in the middle of the damned ocean and I'm clinging to a tree for life. I was just screaming her name and she was in the water. I reached for her and I had her and then my hand slipped. I lost her."

"You thought she was gone?" Lucas asked quietly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. And then, like a biblical miracle or something, I saw her again and I grabbed her. I still don't know how I did it. People were dying all around us. I don't know how we made it, how the tree held both of us all night. She was freaking out. She was so scared. I was, too. Then I saw the hut. I knew if we didn't get to higher ground, then we wouldn't make it. Haley was so weak but somehow we made the swim. It took forever it seemed like. Then we made it, it was like a huge relief but all of a sudden we were still stuck, you know? Still stranded but just somewhere else. There was no help and all you could see was water. Water everywhere. It was so strange. The only food was coconuts. It was like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. It was either die on the tree or die in the hut. Honestly, a few times, I thought it was the end."

"Did you guys at least try to talk?"

"Yeah. We were civil. Nothing like almost dying several times to ease the attention of a bitter divorce", Nathan lamely joked. "Anyway, she cleaned up the cut by my ear and we just started talking. Reminiscing about old times. It was cool for a while until she brought up the wedding wall."

"The one you demolished?" Lucas remembered.

"Exactly. But just talking about it set me off again. I didn't care that we were dying. I just got so mad. And I went off on her…about everything. And she went off on me right back. I'll give her that. She has definitely grown some balls over the years. Anyway, we were screaming at each other and she broke down and…Luke, she told me that she was still in love with me."

"What? What did you…"

"What did I do? I wanted to snap her neck. I just told her we were over and uh…well, she said we weren't. She kissed me."

"Let me guess", Lucas sighed. "You kissed her back, huh?"

"I didn't mean to. It just sort of happened. We just started going at it. Angry, hot, passionate sex."

"Damn, Lucas muttered.

"Three times."

"Three times? Damn, dude!"

"What? You try being stranded like that. You end up going stir crazy."

"Now what? I mean, you are divorced, right?"

"Yeah. Signed, sealed, delivered and totally legit."

"How do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. Glad. Relieved. Confused maybe."

"Meg", Lucas whispered.

"Exactly. I never thought I'd see her again. We end up getting rescued and I come back and she's so happy to see me. Dude, I feel like ass. I hate lying to her. I can't believe I cheated on her."

"Well, technically…is it really cheating? You did have sex with your wife."

Nathan smirked.

"This is some Jerry Springer shit, huh?"

"At least Maury", Lucas agreed with a small smile.

"I just don't know what to do now."

"Did it mean anything? You know, sex with Haley."

"No. I don't know. I don't know what I feel."

"You gonna tell Meg?"

Nathan sighed. What a question.

"I don't know. I want to. I feel like I should."

"What do you think she would do? Leave you?"

He thought for a bit before shaking his head.

"No. No, I don't. She would be pissed and she would flip out but she wouldn't leave. But it would hurt her. Lucas, it would hurt her bad. And I don't want to do that. I don't want to see her cry. I don't want to make her cry. Megan doesn't deserve that and you know it."

"I know."

"What do I do, bro?"

"I don't know. It's a tough situation. You still want to marry Megan, don't you?"

"Yeah. I love her."

"You love her…but are you in love with her?"

"Don't try that Dr. Phil shit with me, man", Nathan shook his head. "What's the difference?"

"There is a big difference and you know it."

"Yes, Luke. I am in love with Meg."

Lucas nodded.

"And why wouldn't you be? She's beautiful and sweet. She's funny and smart. She loves you and she listens to you. Everybody loves her. And she adores you. She saved you. She turned your life around when things weren't going so well."

"I know."

"Sound familiar?"

Nathan turned his head sharply.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Look, I like Meg, you know that. She's great. And I don't doubt you love her. But think about it. Do you really, really love her? Her. Megan Powell. Because it seems to me that Megan is carbon copy of Hales. But loving Meg is safe. You can have all the same things you had with Haley but it's safe this time around because you know no matter what, Megan will never do the one thing Haley did. Megan will never leave you."

"You're on crack", Nathan sneered.

"Am I? Or am I right?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you right now", Nathan stood up.

"Dude, I'm not trying to judge you or attack you. I'm on your side. But you have to look at it from every angle and then you have to find the truth. Too much is at stake here."

"I know what's at stake! It's my life, Lucas! Damn, man, do you think I'm blind? I'm not stupid, okay? I'm not the dumb jock everybody thinks I am."

"Nobody thinks that, Nate."

"Well screw you and your messed up philosophies, man. I swear you watch too much TV."

"I'm just trying to help."

"Help? Why don't you help yourself then? Try following your own stupid love advice and maybe you could be with Brooke before you lose her for good and end up married to the NBA with only your right hand and a bottle of cheap lotion for comfort."

Lucas bit his lip. He knew he had touched a sensitive spot. As usual, Nathan's only way of coping was to lash out and turn the situation around.

"Whatever you say, man. Look, Nate, you're still my brother and I don't want to cause problems. We cool?"

He extended his hand. Nathan stared at it before turning his back and walking away.

"You just keep your mouth shut and forget we ever had this conversation. Put some ice on the counseling and recommendations. Then we'll be okay."

"Alright, dude", Lucas sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I…"

"See you in a few weeks at the wedding…Best Man."


	45. Once Upon A Time

"I love shopping!" Brooke squealed.

"And it shows", Meg laughed, looking down at all the bags on the brunette's arms.

"This is so fun! I needed a girl's day out like this. I should have more clients in Charlotte so we can do this more often."

"I enjoy the company. It's a nice little getaway from work…and other things", Megan's voice trailed off.

"Hey, this is the mall where the designer sent your wedding gown, right?" Brooke asked, obviously missing Meg's previous implication.

"Um, yeah it's downstairs but…"

"Oh goody, goody! I can't wait to see it!"

"Brooke…"

"Let's go", Brooke dragged the blonde to the store. "I am so excited!"

Megan conceded and they walked to the bridal shop where a replica of Megan's wedding gown was displayed in the showcase. They stared at the mannequin wearing the gorgeous white satin strapless gown studded with real diamonds. The train was long and the veil elegant, matched perfectly with gloves.

"Here it is."

Brooke's mouth hung open.

"Oh my God! This dress…this dress is so freaking gorgeous! Oh, I'm jealous! Totally. It makes me want to run out and get married. Well, not really but you know what I mean."

"Thanks, Brooke."

"I really love it. Let me guess, size 5?"

"Size 4."

"Bitch", Brooke teased. "Well, I know you're going to look absolutely amazing in it but have you and Nathan considered an Empire waist instead of the Princess cut? I mean, the design is wicked but with your belly growing and the wedding three weeks away…how far along are you anyway?"

"Only five weeks. I'll be two months along by the time the wedding rolls around so it shouldn't be too bad. I should still be able to fit."

"Thank God. I'm a modern girl and everything and there's nothing wrong with being preggers before the walk down the aisle but you know how some people can be. And the Buddha belly is so not cute in the photos."

Meg looked away.

"Um, Brooke, have you…have you told anyone what I told you? You know, about me being pregnant and all?"

"No."

"You sure? Not Peyton or Lucas or anyone?"

"No. I mean, it's good news and everything but I really don't feel like it's my place to be broadcasting your personal business. It's hard but yes, Brooke Davis can keep a secret…if it's a secret."

"Thank you and yes it is a secret."

"Okay but people are going to find out eventually…"

"Nathan doesn't know."

Brooke stopped in her tracks.

"Meg…"

"I haven't told him yet."

"And why not?"

"I tried to. That first night when he got back. I was so happy to see him and just so glad that he was safe and alive and back home in my arms. But obviously that wasn't the best time to drop such a bombshell."

"Maybe so but he has been home for what, like a week and a half now?"

"Yeah."

"So…"

"So, it's hard. I try but the words won't come out."

"Well, make them! Megan, you so have to tell him. He's going to be a father. The man has a right to know."

"I know. I am. I mean, I will. Soon…"

"Is everything okay? I'm sure you're nervous and it wasn't planned or anything but Nathan will be happy. I know him. You know him, too. He loves rug rats. He's great with them, too. You've seen him with the little fans."

"I don't know, Brooke. I hope so. You're right that this is an unplanned pregnancy and I…well, I can't help but think that the timing really stinks on this one."

"It'll be okay."

"Will it?"

"What's wrong? Talk to me. Is there something else?"

"Yes…no…"

"Meg…"

"It's nothing probably. Nathan has just been…different since he got back, I guess."

"Different how?"

"I don't know. Moody. Distant. I can't explain it but you should see him. He's just not himself."

"Well, who could blame him? You saw the tsunami coverage on TV. It was brutal. To actually experience something like that…God, I don't know if I would have been strong enough. He probably just needs some time to deal with it all. You know how Scott men are. They aren't the most vocal when it comes to expressing feelings. Nathan will be fine."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right. He's fine. I'm just being silly, huh?"

"You're just worried. You love him. That's normal."

The two women continued walking.

"Hey Brooke, can I ask you something."

"I'm an open book", she grinned. "What's up?"

"What was she like?"

"Who?"

"Haley", Megan answered softly.

"Tutor Wife?" Brooke wrinkled her nose. "Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. I want to know. Nathan told me the story one time after we started seriously dating but he never got into details."

"Let me think", Brooke shrugged. "You know the sordid soap opera love triangle of Dan, Deb and Karen, right?"

"Yeah. I heard."

"Okay. I can't begin with 'Once Upon A Time' because this ain't no freaking fairytale. Dan chose Deb and they raised Nathan and lived in mansions and drove fancy cars and always had plenty of money while Karen and Broody struggled two steps short of the welfare line before she got the loan to open the café."

"Brooke", Megan smiled. "That's not a very nice thing to say."

"What? It's true. Broody told me himself. Karen's family totally kicked her to the curb and if it hadn't been for Keith, a couple times that might would have starved."

"Oh my God."

"Oh yeah. Dan Scott is a real prince. Anyway, cut to many years later. Picture Tree Hill High. Nathan is the star hoopster, dating Peyton who was and is my very best friend. We were the popular, pretty cheerleaders. Anyway, Lucas gets recruited by Whitey to join the team and all hell breaks loose. Nathan and Papa Scott were not happy. Now all Nathan and Peyton had was booze, partying and drama and she and Lucas had this connection or some crap where they found it easy to just mope and brood together. So Lucas joins the team, everything gels and Nate and Peyton split. Nathan, of course, blames Luke for everything. Obviously the hazing and taunting and beatings weren't changing things so Nathan comes up with the ultimate revenge plan. Make Lucas' sweet, innocent, slightly homely and naïve best friend, Haley James fall in love. He would date her just to piss Lucas off, sleep with her, then leave her heartbroken."

"What happened?"

"Haley happened. They fell in love. Real love. She changed his life. Before she came along, he was this rude, crude, totally arrogant yet incredibly sexy terd of a human being. He was a bad boy, the Bad Boy of Tree Hill, in fact. But they just…I don't know. They really clicked. They just got each other, if you know what I mean. It was love. Next thing we all know, they're married."

"And how was that? What kind of husband was Nathan?"

"He was a great husband as far as I could tell. He really loved her. They were so cute, like puppies. They were always together. Very happy."

"Then why did Haley leave?"

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"The greatest debate in modern history since, 'Did Oswald really shoot President Kennedy?' Some people say, she had this musical dream and she pursued it and Michelle Branch really liked her voice and invited her to open on The Wreckers tour. Haley did and she called Nathan and tried to include him and keep the marriage together but his anger and pride and well, Scottness, got in the way."

"What do you say?"

"I don't know anymore. I mean, if it looks like a duck, it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck, then…"

"It must be a duck."

"Exactly and the duck in question was one Chris Keller."

"You think something was going on there?"

"Who knows? She did kiss him. Jake saw them once and Jagielski so would not lie. Besides, Haley admitted it to Nathan before she left."

"He must have been so angry…"

"Angry is not the word, trust me. There are no words. He was like a wild, wounded, caged animal. No one could get to him. The fights and the drinking and the women…it was crazy. I can't t tell you how many times that idiot fiancé of yours got tossed in the Drunk Tank for getting sloshed and starting all kinds of trouble. Look, I don't know exactly what happened or why they ultimately split for good but one thing was for certain. Haley really hurt him."

"But he really loved her, huh?"

"She was his first love."

"And you never forget your first love."

"That's what they say…wait a minute, you don't think…"

"I don't know what I think, Brooke."

"No way Nathan still loves Haley. He loves you now. You guys are great together. You're happy. What he had with her happened a long time and it's over. It's been over for years. The Dominican was just the final stamp."

"You're right", Megan sighed. "I'm just being stupid."

"Probably those pregnancy hormones I keep hearing so much about."

Megan tried to smile.

"Yeah. Let's just drop it, okay? How about we grab some lunch and go back to shopping? There's a whole other floor of stores you haven't ransacked yet."

"You so read my mind", Brooke laughed as they linked arms. "Let's go."

Megan took a deep breath. She and Nathan were fine. Her suspicions were dumb and unfounded. Haley James was now out of their lives. They were free to be a family. She held her head high as she pushed the conversation with Brooke out of her mind…along with the nagging reservations in her heart.


	46. The Nameless One

**_Author's Note: Flashback sequence written in Italics. Dialogue borrowed from the WB's One Tree Hill, Season 1, Episode 8, "The Search For Something More"_**

"Baby, I'm going to work. I'll be home late tonight so don't hold dinner for me, okay? I'll just grab a sandwich or something somewhere."

"Okay", Nathan grumbled in a voice still heavy with sleep.

"You going to do anything special today?" Megan asked as she put her earrings on.

"I don't know", he yawned and stretched. "I've got some stuff to take care of, you know, with the pre season coming up. I'll probably be out all day, too."

"Okay. Well, I'll call you on your cell later, then. Love you", she smiled, leaning down and kissing him.

"Love you, too."

He heard her leave, the car pulling out of the driveway. He buried his face in the comforter hoping more sleep would come. It was not too be and he groaned at the thought. He hadn't lied to Megan about having business to attend to concerning the team. He needed to see his agent and the coach. It was his intention but as he dressed and hopped in his Escalade, he found himself driving the opposite direction from where he was supposed to go. He couldn't help it even as he maneuvered onto Interstate 40, East bound.

It was a 197 mile drive that took almost four hours. Rap music blaring from the CD player was his only companion. Finally he saw the sign that welcomed him to Tree Hill. He had no idea why he had gone there. The last faces he wanted to see were his parents and Lucas was back in Pennsylvania. There was nothing or no one he wanted to see in particular, he just wanted to escape. Nathan Scott was desperately but unsuccessfully attempting to flee the voices. Voices were all around him, trapped inside his head. They were deafening but only he could hear them. It was the sound of his conscious.

He drove and drove finally coming to a street in a middle class neighborhood down by the River. He pulled up to a house that looked much like the others. In the yard children played happily. Nathan closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he wasn't the 23 year old superstar sitting in his luxury SUV fighting away at the weight of the world on his shoulders. No. He was a 16 year old boy who had made a mistake. A big mistake. He had devised a plan to make a girl fall in love with him so he could callously dump her just to piss off his estranged older brother. But the plan had dangerously backfired when he fell for that girl. He was falling hard and the feeling was obviously mutual. All the signs were there, all the opportunities were there but he kept messing them up.

He'd hurt her feelings unintentionally at his father's party because of some drunken joke by Brooke. When the brunette decided to "change her karma", he had been given a second chance. A date set up with his crush. The night had been fun and interesting. He was having a good time. Then it happened. He fucked up. Tim and the other guys from the team had seen them having dinner. Quickly he denied it being a date. He wasn't ashamed but she didn't understand. The guys would rib them and make a big deal out of it so it was just best to say whatever to make them go away. They went away but she didn't understand. She was angry. Hurt. Once again, Nathan Scott had blown it.

That night he didn't sleep. At the crack of dawn he showered, dressed and grabbed the keys to his mother's car for an early morning Sunday drive. He drove to a middle class neighborhood down by the River and parked the vehicle on the side of the street. He had no idea what to say and he didn't want to risk waking her parents. So he grabbed rocks and began chucking them at the second story window thought to be hers…

"_Trying to wake up my parents? That's their room", she said coming up from behind him._

_She rolled her eyes, still pissed and rightfully so as she walked away.  
_

"_Wait! Haley, look, I need to apologize, okay?"_

_She'd heard that song and dance from him before.  
_

"_You should write them in bulk if you're going to hand apologies out that often."_

_He knew he was losing ground.  
_

"_Can we just…I don't know how to do this, alright? I'm not like you."  
_

"_What does that mean?"  
_

"_I screw up a lot, alright? And being around you, I just, I don't want to be that guy anymore."  
_

"_Well who do you want to be, Nathan?"_

_He thought for a minute before letting his heart answer.  
_

"_I want to be someone who's good enough to be seen with you."_

_Haley was frustrated.  
_

"_Well you should've thought of that last night. You know, I keep, I keep putting myself out there, and you keep blowing it. It's probably a good thing because at this point there's nothing you could say or do that's gonna surprise me…"  
_

_He leaned in and kissed her suddenly. She was taken completely off guard.  
_

"_Except that", she said softly. "You shouldn't have done that, Nathan."  
_

"_I wanted to", he replied honestly.  
_

"_Yeah."  
_

_Haley paused and looked at him. Instinct took over as she threw her arms around him and gave him a second more passionate kiss. _

He opened his eyes again and realized where he was. Reality could be a bitch sometimes, he thought as he drove off. He had wasted enough time and there was nothing to do but simply head back home to Charlotte.

It was after dark when he arrived at his home and he could see the lights from outside.

"Hey."

"Hey", he said, tossing his keys.

"How was your day?"

"It was okay."

"I called your cell. You didn't pick up."

"Yeah…sorry about that. I was busy."

"Busy with the team?"

"Yeah", Nathan fibbed. "I had a meeting with Coach and…"

"Stop it", she said softly. "Nathan, stop it right there. There was no meeting."

"What?"

"I called your phone all day. When you didn't pick up, I got worried so I called your coach."

"You what?"

"You heard me. I…"

"What the fuck, Meg? What? You checking up on me now?"

"No, sweetie. I'm sorry. But with everything that's happened…Nate, I came very close to losing you. Too close. Sorry if I get overprotective but when I don't hear from you, it kind of freaks me out."

"Whatever."

"Were you?"

"Out, okay?" he answered flustered. "Damn! Next time I'll remember my pen and pad so I can be sure to write down my every move. Or better yet, why don't you get me one of those little ankle bracelet things they give to parolees on house arrest?"

"Nathan…"

"What? If it's okay, I'm gonna go upstairs and take a shower. I'll leave the door open so you can keep an eye on me."

She bit her lip trying to fight back tears of anger and frustration.

"Here", she said, tossing him a magazine. "Why don't you take this for your viewing pleasure?"

He looked down and saw that it was a tabloid. The cover read, **The Rock Star and the Hoop Star: The Real Story! Read page 5 to find out details of the secret wedding and divorce that ultimately led to near tragedy in the tsunami ridden Dominican Republic**

There was a large picture of the photo of Nathan in a suit and Haley in the white sundress taken on their wedding day. Smaller images of more recent photos of them alone had been inserted as well. Nathan sighed and looked up. Megan looked devastated.

"What do you want me to do? We can't control these rags."

"I can't believe it. Our whole life is now front page news, mocked and distorted for everyone to see."

Nathan walked over to the bar and poured a Dan Scott original, or better yet a concoction of simple whiskey on ice.

"Like I said, Megan. What do you want me to do? Huh? Pull a Howard Hughes and buy every copy printed and store it away in a warehouse somewhere?"

"No, but I do expect you to deal with it. Talk to me about it, Nathan. Something. Come on."

"Talk to you? What am I supposed to say? Can I say anything about Haley that won't have you breaking down into tears?"

Megan gasped.

"You…"

"I what?"

"You…you spoke her name."

The relevance was like a proverbial smack in the face for both of them. The significance did not go unnoticed.

"So what?"

"So you never called her by name before."

"You know what? I am not dealing with this shit tonight. You want to sit and read and worry about 'she who cannot be named', then you go right ahead. Have fun. I'm taking a shower, then I'm going to bed."

He left her standing there as he went into the bathroom and disrobed. The shower head sprinkled hot water and he sat under it, arms folded, legs hugged to his muscular chest, his right hand holding the glass just further enough away so as to not water it down any more.

He sighed. Everything was spiraling out of control. Those damn voices again! He couldn't run away. But he couldn't deal either. No matter what, it always came back to her somehow. The nameless one.


	47. Letting Go

_**Author's Note: Lyrics to "Leaving Town Alive" composed and copywritten by Bethany Joy Lenz and can be found on her "Come on Home" CD...**_

_Spending all your money _

_Ain't it funny how the time goes by? _

_First you start believing _

_Then you're leaving for no reason _

_And you're wondering why _

_So till the morning breaks _

_Go and make your mistakes _

_Don't be surprised if your head hurts _

_Life is for the living, the forgiven and for leaving town alive_

"Whoa! Whoa! What the hell is that? Is Haley James singing or is a cow giving birth somewhere?"

"Chris!" Haley folded her arms.

"What?"

"Real nice."

"That sounds like shit, Haley."

She sighed and threw her arms in the air cursing because she had forgotten that one of them was broken. The tour had just started and the city was Boston. Chris had managed to score them some studio time and she was laying down a new track she had composed called "Leaving Town Alive". Haley had agreed to let Chris produce the song but it was a move she regretted almost instantly. As musically talented and knowledgeable as he was, he was equally controlling and brash. At times it was more than a bit much to take.

"What do you want from me? I'm doing the best I can and…"

"That's not your best. Trust me. Haley, I know you. How many years have we been doing this?"

"Chris…"

"Look, you know how serious I am when it comes to work. You're wasting my time and that pisses me off. Take a deep breath, get motivated, get focused. Watch the pitch and your range and try to stay on key, please."

"Alright."

"Fine. Take it from the next verse."

_Whisper in the ways _

_Watching days and moving on _

_You wake up every Monday then suddenly it's Sunday _

_And the week is gone _

_So till the morning breaks _

_Go and make your mistakes _

_Don't be surprised at the sunrise _

_Life is for the living, the forgiven and for leaving town alive _

"Cut! Cut! Cut!" he yelled from outside the sound booth.

"What now?" she took off her headphones.

"What's going in there, James? Work with me, please. Do something! You have to sing the way I tell you to. This could be great but it's never going to work when you're that flat. Haley, am I talking to myself? I…"

"Okay, okay, okay. Geez! I hear you, okay Chris? Loud and clear. Come on. Let's just pick it up where I left off so we can get out of here…"

_Oh, do you wonder where it starts_

_Where it ends _

_What you find around the bend _

_Oh, do you wonder where she's from _

_Where she goes _

_No one knows _

_Now and then you wonder _

_Why you're spending all your money _

_Ain't it funny how she walks on by? _

_She had you all believing _

_Now she's leaving for no reason _

_And you're wondering why _

Chris laughed and shook his head.

"Did you forget the words?"

Haley had had it. She threw the headphones and stormed out of the booth.

"No, Chris. I did not forget the words, okay? I didn't forget the goddamned words because guess what? I wrote the freaking song!"

"Well that's brilliant. You wrote the song and now you can't even remember the words!"

She gave him a death glare before grabbing her bag to leave.

"You're an asshole and I'm tired so obviously this is not working. I'm out of here."

She pushed past him in tears but he grabbed her arm and pulled him back.

"Haley, wait."

"No", she sniffed. "Just leave me alone."

"Look, I'm sorry, alright? Maybe I shouldn't have been such a dick but I can't help it when I see you not doing your best. You are an awesome musician. You know that. Fans love you, critics love you. You have what it takes and you've proven that over and over. I know what you can do and what you did tonight was mediocre at best. What gives?"

"I'm tired, alright?" she wiped at her eyes. "I'm human. Is that allowed, Chris?"

"Yeah, it is but I'm not sure if I buy that from you. I feel like it's something else. Ever since you got back from the Dominican Republic, you haven't been yourself."

"Sorry. Look things happened."

"I know. And I have a feeling you're talking about more than the tsunami."

She avoided eye contact.

"It doesn't really matter. It's over with now anyway."

"You're talking about Nathan?"

"Yes", she sighed.

Chris smirked.

"So he got to you again, huh? How did I guess?"

"Chris, things happened there that I can't explain. And I can't stop thinking about them."

"You slept with him didn't you?"

Tears overflowed her brown eyes.

"Yes", Haley whispered.

"I'm not surprised. Two castaways stranded in a mud house clinging to each other for dear life. So cliché."

"It wasn't like that."

"Then what's it like, Haley? I mean, be real. You've got a good head so use it. What do you think is going to happen? What are you hoping? Is this supposed to be like that An Officer And A Gentleman movie? What is Nathan gonna come bounding in here in his number 23 jersey and swoop you up in his arms and rescue you from the studio and the life you loved up until a few weeks ago when that sack of shit came back in it?"

"I don't know. Chris, I…"

"Let me tell you. That's not going to happen. Never. You may as well as get your head out of the clouds, James. Know what Nathan is going to do? Exactly what he wants and exactly what is expected of him. He's going to walk down that aisle and marry that rich blonde."

Tears streamed down Haley's face.

"I know", she sobbed. "I know."

"Then what are you crying for?"

"I don't know. So much has happened so fast. It's really hard to deal with. I'm still trying to get over the tsunami and the things I saw and surviving it. And then there's the divorce and yeah…being trapped with Nathan and having sex did complicate matters."

"It's over now. Just let it go."

"What if I can't? What if I don't want to?"

"Then you're a fool."

"He still loves me", she blurted out. "I know it."

"It'll never work, Haley."

"You're just saying that because you don't like him."

"I don't like him but I do care about you and that's why I'm telling you the truth. I won't sugarcoat this and tell you what you want to hear. Sorry. Too much time has passed and too many things have gone down in that time. Nathan and his life are completely different now."

"But…"

"But nothing. You can't go back to that night, Haley. You may want to but in the real world, take backs don't exist. You made the choice. You got on that bus. When you did, it changed everything…forever."

"Chris, I…"

"What? Having second thoughts after all these years? Do you really think you made a mistake?"

"I don't know. I think I could have done things differently. Maybe I could have had Nathan and the music. Maybe I still can."

"Haley…"

"I can fix it, Chris. I know I can. It can work. I can change…"

"Change what? You can't fix this. If you try, you're only going to make it worse and more people are going to get hurt. Change one thing and you'll change everything and then it's going to be out of control like a raging fire. In the end, you'll be the one to get burned. Mark my words on that one."

"You don't understand. You never did."

"I understand more than you think."

"Whatever", she turned to walk out.

"Have you seen the papers, Haley? The Enquirer, The Star, The Globe, US, In Touch, the freaking New York Post? Need I go on?"

She stopped.

"Yes", she whispered. "I've seen them all."

"You know right now paparazzi is outside just waiting for you to leave this studio. And they'll be at the hotel when you get back and at whatever restaurant you eat at tonight. They will be at the next city on this tour and the stop after that. And when it's done, they'll still be camped out in front of your apartment. Is that what you want? Are you trying to make this worse?"

"No."

"Then stop."

"I don't know if I can."

"Then do it for Nathan", Chris said quietly. "If you love him, if you truly love him like you think you do, then let it go. Let him go."


	48. Drunk and Disorderly

Dan Scott flashed that million dollar smile as his arm relaxed around the petite frame of his wife, Deb. At 42, she was still much the trophy wife, the perfect, smiling blonde for such events.

It was the Reagan Day dinner, an annual gala tribute honoring the nation's fortieth president. Celebrities, the elite and every high profiled politician were there. Anybody who was anybody in the state attended. And Dan would be no exception. A man who had no interest in politics or Ronald Reagan for that matter, was front and center for the attention and the thrill with his beautiful closet Democratic voting bride by his side.

Next to the Scotts were the Powells. Mark Powell, a tall dark haired man, straightened his tie as he accepted the numerous congratulations from his peers. It would be the Congressman's night to shine as he would be the recipient of the coveted North Carolina Republicans Ronald Reagan Humanitarian Award.

In the ladies room, Megan refreshed her lipstick as she smoothed out any would be wrinkles in her red dress. Her mother, applying a fresh coat of mascara, had joined her.

"I love that dress, dear", Laurie smiled. "Red is definitely your color. You and Nathan make quite the stunning couple."

"That we do", she rolled her eyes, using a bit of a sarcastic tone.

"Meg…sweetie, is everything okay? You know, between you and Nathan?"

"We're fine, Mom."

The voice was anything but convincing.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Mom. I'm positive. Really. Everything is okay. We're just kind of stressed out right now. With the tsunami and the wedding and everything has been really crazy. As soon as we get back from our honeymoon, the pre season will start and the negotiations for Nate's new contract aren't done yet."

"I'm sure everything will be fine", Laurie frowned.

"I hope so", Megan sighed as they exited the restroom.

Walking out to the banquet hall, Megan stopped and took a deep, frustrated breath. Her fiancé was going to town on his third whiskey on the rocks.

"Look at him", she sadly shook her head. "He's always drinking."

"It's not that bad. It's just his second drink of the evening…"

"No, Mom. His third drink here tonight and God only knows how many total for the day considering the lush has been boozing since nine this morning."

"Oh it's okay", Laurie rubbed her daughter's bare shoulders. "Try not to make a scene, honey. Nathan is just unwinding. Like you said yourself, he's under a lot of pressure. A drink or two won't hurt anyone. Besides, he's such a handsome boy. Look at him over there with that drink in his hand. He looks like a young Marlon Brando. Very sexy."

"When I first met him, I thought that drink made him look sexy, Mom. Now I just think it makes him look drunk", Meg muttered as they returned to their table.

The ceremony began as a sulking Megan watched Nathan down drink after drink. She was relieved when her father's name was called as it was one step closer to the evening being over. She and her family along with the Scotts stood and applauded as Rep. Powell stepped up to the podium.

"Members of the North Carolina Republicans, thank you very much. It is an honor to receive this award this evening as well as a real pleasure to serve you all and the great Tarheel state of North Carolina. Looking at our prestigious organization's fine history and to see the distinguished roll call of those who have received this award before me, I see that in return they are encouraged to offer an important statement of philosophy or accomplishment about the importance of being a good humanitarian. It's not for me to offer an opinion on the accomplishment or the importance, but I think I can do a bit of philosophy, so here it is. Was it a good humanitarian? And why was I singled out this year? For my public service? Contributions to charities? Maybe all of the above. I appreciate the recognition but there is a young man here tonight very dear to my heart who deserves this a lot more than me. His bravery and courage in gallantly risking his own life to save another in the midst of the recent and tragic tsunami, represents his fine character and truly defines what he is…a real hero. I am proud to say that he will soon be my son in law, Mr. Nathan Scott."

The audience applauded politely.

"Thank you. Thank you very much", a tipsy Nathan stood and said in his best Elvis impersonation.

Dan, Deb, and Meg hung their heads as the Powells turned crimson.

"Nathan, please…" Deb begged.

"What? It's cool, Mom. Mark is just giving me props. But it's alright. I was just saving my Old Lady…well, she's not my Old Lady anymore because that's gonna be Meg's job real soon but you guys get my drift."

"Nathan…"

"It's funny. How many of us here dream about drowning our wives but the weird thing is, when opportunity presents itself, you chicken out and save her."

Nathan was drunk and making a spectacle out of himself.

"Son, for God's sake", Dan tersely whispered.

"It's cool, Pop. Really. Mark and I are both great humanitarians. We share that title and we share that award. Right, Mark?"

Before Rep. Powell could respond and before Megan could grab him, Nathan was on stage with his future father in law. He grabbed the award, nearly dropping it.

"Damn! Guess these bad boys are heavier than they look. Wait, am I being cliché? I mean, that's what you're supposed to say. Some gay shit…whoops, I mean stuff, you know, joking and…"

Before he could finished his slurred rant of nonsense, he leaned over, heaving and vomiting all over the podium. Humiliated, Dan ran to grab him. On the way down, Nathan tripped and remained where he fell...passed out drunk on the floor of one of the most important and regarded events in the state.

A stunned and conservative group sat absolutely stunned and quiet. Megan and Deb were more sad and upset than mortified while Mark Powell was humiliated. He was fit to be tied and so was Dan. Nathan had single handedly managed to embarrass two of North Carolina's most esteemed families all in the course of mere minutes.

Meg only looked at the tight, red face of her ashamed mother who sat beside her. Maybe they had been right after all. If Nathan Scott was under a tremendous amount of pressure, then the pressure had finally gotten to him. It was official. The superstar had cracked.


	49. Mother Knows Best?

**_Author's Note: Thanks guys for breaking 400 reviews! I'm really excited. Still can't believe all the incredible interest and buzz surrounding this and although I love how much to heart you all seem to take this, let me remind you to be patient. If you've read my other stuff, then you know, the happy ending doesn't always come. Also, there never is one central plot but a lot of drama, angst and twists that will come together eventually at the end and make sense. That's just me and my style. Hope you like it, which most of you seem to. For those of you who don't...you know my policy! Take it or leave it but don't bitch about it or the pace. Just read it and wait to see what happens, or don't read at all._**

**_Thanks for the reviewer (sorry I forgot your name) who caught my errror regarding Meg's father and his political party. In previous chapters, he was referred to as a Democrat but in the last one, I made him a Republican. Sorry for the mixup. Politics are a part ofa few of my stories and most of the time, the characters/candidates are Republicans (God save us all!) for the sake of dramatic purpose. So I will make Rep. Powell a Republican for now. Apologies again for the mix up and good eye for the person that caught it! Thanks!_**

The door opened and Megan entered her home, shopping bags in tow, accompanied by her future in laws. The house was quiet but there were empty bags of pretzels and other remnants of the NBA Live marathon that had taken place in the living room on the PlayStation 2 over the course of the day. Megan dared not speak a word as she saw her sullen fiancé pour himself a drink over a few cubes of ice in a glass. Deb's heart sank as well. It was hard to see a person they both loved so dearly riding the express train with a one way ticket to rock bottom. When he was in that state, there was no pleading or bargaining or reasoning with him. It was best to tread the waters carefully and walk on eggshells in cautious silence.

"Well, well, well", Dan smirked. "Ladies, do you suppose we have the right house? I mean, the address is correct and the young man at the bar looks a lot like my youngest son, only a little more pathetic."

"Dan, please…" Deb sighed.

"What? Am I supposed to join you two in the silent majority? Sit around and watch Nathan drink himself into another sickingly embarrassing stupor?"

"Dan…"

"Good job, son. Your uncle Keith would be proud of you."

Nathan slammed his fist down on the table.

"Goddammitt, Dad! Just piss off, alright.

"Sweetie, your father is just worried about you", Deb said quietly. "We all are. Maybe another drink isn't the best idea right now. How about some water?"

"Water?" Nathan sneered.

"Yes. Just please. Don't be angry but alcohol isn't going to solve anything right now and…"

"You agree with Mom, Dad?"

"Yes. Your mother does have a point on this one."

"I see. And what about you Meg? These days it seems like you're more of a Scott than I am. Are you eye to eye with the future in laws?"

She just stared at him, not answering as fresh tears threatened to fall.

"Nathan…" Deb started again.

"Well, you can relax. All of you. Before you call AA or have me committed, it's just fucking ginger ale", he said, shaking the empty can for emphasis before chucking it across the room angrily.

He stalked off, heading outside. Ignoring the situation, Dan grabbed the remote and began to channel surf on the large, wide screen Plasma TV. Still as silent as a church mouse, Megan began carting bags upstairs. It was only Deb who went after him. She didn't care that she would probably get her head bitten off in the process…there were some things the mother had to get off her chest. She found him on the basketball court shooting hoops.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he mumbled, not even bothering to look at her.

"I want to talk, Nate."

"We don't have anything to talk about."

"But we do. Sweetheart, you're my son. My only child. I love you more than words could ever express. You mean the world to me."

"Whatever…"

"I see what you're doing to yourself and it scares me."

"I'm cool. Why don't you and Dad just go back to Tree Hill and leave me the hell alone? Then everything will be fine."

"I look at you and I see this troubled, scary, frightened, confused, angry young man. It breaks my heart. I can't reach you. No one can. Not your father or your brother or your friends or even Megan. Nathan, I've only seen you this bad one other time before in your life…and that's when Haley left."

His body visibly tensed.

"I'm not doing this with you now, Mom. Not now or not ever for that matter so you might as well just save it."

"What's going on with you? Just talk to me. Sweetie, if you talked to someone about your feelings, you would feel so much better…"

"Like you give a shit."

"Honey, of course I care."

"No, you don't. You only care about image and shopping and country clubs and money and what other people think."

"That's not true. I do care."

"Okay. You want to talk about Haley all of a sudden? After all these years? Alright, Mom, I'll throw you a bone since after seven years, you're suddenly Haley's new best friend, right? Inviting Jim and Lydia to stay at the house when we were missing? Real noble of you."

"It was the right thing to do", Deb replied softly.

"Now you want to do the right thing? I'd say you're oh…about seven years too late. Because you just showered Haley with hugs the whole time we were married, didn't you?"

Deb looked away embarrassed. She knew her son was right to a degree.

"It hurts me to see you live like this. You have a dream career and you're about to marry a wonderful, beautiful girl. Nathan, why are your trying to throw it all away? You're drinking like a fish and embarrassing us and her family and not to mention yourself. And you're so angry. You shut everyone out and when you're not being distant, you're lashing out."

"Are you done?" he asked in a chilly tone.

"No. Just…just let me help you."

"Help me do what?"

"Be happy again."

"Happy?" Nathan laughed out loud. "You don't even know how to be happy, Mom. Look at you and Dad. It's pathetic. You know, I used to feel sorry for you but now I don't. Know why? Because you and Dad fucking deserve each other. So you want to be number one mommy or mother in law or whatever the hell you're trying to pull, just let it go because Meg and I stand a better chance without you."

"Is that what you really think?"

"It's what I know", he said, taking another shot.

"Yeah, I guess you would think that, son. I know I wasn't the best mother. I made a lot of mistakes. I've tried to correct them. Nate, your forgiveness means everything to me. Maybe we'll never have the close relationship we once had. I pray that we do but I've accepted the fact that maybe that won't happen ever. As much as it hurts, I can deal with it. The one thing I cannot deal with, is the fact that you're unhappy. You know, you're right about me. I don't have to explain your father…you know how he is. Sometimes I feel like a shell of the human being I once was. I look at family pictures when I was your age and you and Dan and me were all so happy. We had a beautiful family. But so much has happened. That feels like a lifetime ago. So you could say my life is a farce. On the outside, everything appears perfect. On the inside, it's anything but. I just go through the motions. I don't want you to ever feel like this. Ever!"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I want you to have the kind of real happiness I can barely remember. Megan is great and I know you care for her but you're not in love with her. I see it in your eyes. There's something in your heart you're running from, honey. There's another woman out there and your heart has belonged to her since you were a boy. You can deny those feelings to me all you want but don't deny them to yourself. Your soul will never be at peace until you tell her how you feel. Your heart will always be flawed. Don't make the same mistakes your father and I made. Tell her how you really feel. Go to Haley."


	50. Sweet Memories vs Harsh Realities

Haley tossed and turned in the hotel room at yet another stop on the tour. It had been more hectic rehearsals, meet and greets as well as interviews. Most of the interviewers had been more interested on the new revelation of her teen marriage to a certain Charlotte Bobcats hoopster. It was a weary job trying to constantly change the subject back to the music and after hours of frustration, she had left the task at hand to her publicist to issue a statement explaining that "…the circumstances surrounding Ms. James' personal life were not up for discussion…"

Even with that said, it was hard to concentrate and she winced at the thought that maybe she hadn't performed her best that night. Chris was certainly disappointed. In any event, it was obvious the sleep she so desperately craved, would continue to elude her. Haley couldn't stop thinking about her conversation with Chris just days before when he told her to let. Let go! Ha! Didn't he know it was easier said than done? Didn't he know that letting go was the hardest part?

Her thoughts wandered back to a time when she was truly happy. Life wasn't what you would call simple, but it was still a joyous occasion. Probably the happiest moment of her life…

_It was just still bright afternoon when they pulled up in front of the apartment in the car they had borrowed from an unsuspecting Deb. After taking vows, they'd had lunch with Haley's parents then spent an hour or so walking on the beach holding hands. In those minutes trudging through the sand, watching the waves crash in while they talked about the future, neither one had ever felt more alive or more happy._

"_God, I hope your mom doesn't call wanting her car back tonight", Haley half joked as they stepped out of the car. _

"_She won't. It'll be okay."_

_And Deb wouldn't call. At least not that they would know of. And not because of the heart attack his father, unknown to everyone, was having at that very moment. Unbeknownst to Haley, Nathan had turned off both of their cell phones. He was nervous enough about his wedding day/night… all he needed was for his crazy mom and dad to be blowing up his cell as he tried to make love to his new bride._

"_I love you, Nathan", Haley said shyly as she grabbed his hand._

_He nodded and smiled at her. Nathan knew she loved him and he loved her too. He was hell bent on making their first time "together", special._

"_Can you wait out here for a few minutes, Hales? I'll be quick, I promise."_

_She raised her eyebrow. Waiting outside the door of his, now their, apartment was the last thing she wanted to do. _

"_What are you up to, Nathan Scott?" she grinned._

"_It's a surprise. Now hang out here for a bit. I'll be right back."_

_Lucky for the teen his new wife loved surprises. She gave him a quick kiss before he ran inside to finish out the spectacular set up he had begun earlier that morning. In less than ten minutes, the apartment was perfect and Nathan was satisfied. He took a deep breath before going back out to find Haley. The time had come and he wanted it to be something they would both remember forever._

"_Ready Hales?" he asked._

_She smiled and nodded and let him lead her inside. He closed and locked the front door behind them.. The living room was illuminated in soft light thanks to the dozen or so candles situated around the room. On the floor was a blanket and a bottle of wine._

"_What's all this?" she smiled._

"_You like it?"_

"_It's beautiful."_

"_You're beautiful. I love you Hales and I know we'll get to spend the rest of our lives together but this is our first time and I wanted to make it really nice for you."_

_She smiled again and kissed him._

"_It is, Nate. Just being here with you is enough for me."_

_They kicked off our shoes and poured the wine._

"_A toast to my beautiful wife and to the rest of our lives together…"_

_They raised their glasses._

"_Slow it down, Hales. You know what happened last time", he joked._

"_Really Mr. Scott? You know that I'm a cheap drunk and I just think you're trying to take advantage of me."_

"_Guilty as charged", Nathan grinned._

_They both laughed but it was a nervous laugh. Both of them had wanted and waited so long for what was about to happen and the moment had finally arrived. They finished the wine and he walked over to the CD player._

"_Mrs. Scott, may I have this dance?"_

_The sweet music of Sarah McLachlan's "Fallen" began to play._

"_Oh Nate, I love this song."_

"_I know. The lyrics mean a lot because I know I messed up and I wasn't the best guy around when we started all this but I changed because of you. Because I want you and I love you and I needed to be a man who was good enough for you."_

"_I love you, Nathan", she said with sincere eyes._

"_I love you too, Hales."_

_They finished the dance and he led her by hand to the bedroom. The floor was covered with rose petals that made a trail to the bed. It was a sweet and romantic setting but Nathan was too nervous to even speak. He looked deep in Haley's brown eyes and saw a look mixed with want, need, love, excitement and fear._

"_May I?" he asked as he removed the clip from her hair._

_An abundance of cascading auburn curls tumbled down her back. Nathan tucked a strand of stray hair behind her ear and let his calloused hands drift down to the small of her back and the zipper of her dress. She jumped when he undid the zipper and for a second Nathan half expected her to stop him just like she had stopped him so many times before. But she only looked at him and gave her husband a shy smile._

"_You okay?"_

_She nodded and he went about removing his jacket and tie. He unbuttoned the shirt before turning his attention back towards her dress. Haley turned away from him and Nathan slowly slid the straps down her shoulders until the dress was in a heap on the floor. She turned to him only in white panties, her hands criss crossed protectively against her chest. Not wanting to pressure or frighten her, he took his time getting out of his pants and socks. Then it was time. Taking a deep breath, Nathan pulled his boxers off. She had felt it through his jeans a few times but this was her first time seeing it. Haley's eyes widened a bit and that made Nathan even more nervous. The woman he loved was seeing him naked for the first time and all he could think about was that time when the Tree Hill Ravens played against Pickerington. Lucas and Nathan had been exchanging words all night and Luke got really pissed when Nate made a comment about hooking up with Haley. He did it of course just to get a rise out of his estranged older brother and sure enough it had worked. Nathan just wasn't prepared for the comeback. It was when he took the ball out and Lucas walked over to him where the cheerleaders were and said to Peyton, "Hey. So I saw Nathan in the shower… yeah, no wonder you broke up with him."_

_Yeah they were just trading jabs trying to get the best of each other but standing naked in front of his wife for the first time, his dear brother's comments had come back to haunt him. But Haley didn't bust out pointing and laughing and she didn't run away so he figured everything was cool. Nathan just wished she would say something…anything. He wished he knew what to say but no words came to mind. He loved Haley and thought she was the sexiest girl in the world and no matter what, he just wanted her to be comfortable in front of him. She had nothing to be self conscious about. Then as if she read his mind, she slowly moved her hands away from her body. He touched her and hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her panties, never taking his blue eyes away from her baby browns as he peeled the silky material from her dampness. _

"_Hales…"_

"_It's okay", she whispered as she removed his shirt, caressing his chest as she let it fall to the ground._

_At last they were completely nude in front of each other. Nathan could only smile…Haley was even more beautiful than he ever could have imagined, he thought as he gently lifted her small body and placed her on the silk sheets and climbed on top of her. She looked so perfect at that moment._

"_Haley…I love you."_

"_I love you too, Nathan", she said back as her eyes filled with tears._

_He kissed her deeply and passionately as his hands kneaded the baby soft skin of her hips and thighs and belly. When they found her breasts, she moaned in his mouth and it was all he could do to restrain himself. He was horny and she was hot and they were madly in love but he knew he had to be gentle with her._

"_You're so beautiful", Nathan whispered as he began to kiss his way down her body._

"_I love you, Hales. Baby, I just want to please you. I want to make you feel good."_

_Her body arched and she groaned as his tongue went further south. _

"_Oh…Nate!"_

"_You taste so good…", he murmured as he made his way back up._

"_Oh…Nathan…mmmm, that was so incredible."_

"_Are you okay?" he asked again just to be sure. "Are you ready?"_

"_I want you inside me", she panted as she kissed me again._

"_Wait", he whispered as he reached for a condom. "Better safe than sorry…at least for a few days until we make sure that patch thing is working."_

_She nodded and watched with a sweet curiosity as he adjusted. Finally Nathan was ready and the look on her face let him know that she was too. He eased myself inside her and winced when he saw her buckle underneath the pressure of his weight. He was going as slow and gentle as possible but he hated knowing that he was hurting her. _

"_You alright? Hales, you want me to stop?"_

_She shook her head no so he held her a little tighter and kissed her more tenderly as they continued to make love for the first time. He talked her through it, kissing and touching as he kept reminding her of how much he loved her. After a few hours, finally he released._

"_Nathan…"_

"_Hales, I'm sorry I hurt you, baby. I was trying to go slow", Nathan explained as he wiped tears from her eyes._

"_It's okay."_

"_You sure? Are you okay?"_

"_I'm fine", she smiled. "I mean, it hurt considerably at first but I was expecting that. I just have to get used to it but it felt good at the same time. I'm crying because I'm so happy. I can't believe we're married and it feels so right and we just made love for the first time and everything is so…perfect."_

"_I'm glad we waited", he smiled. "It was really special."_

"_It's just like I wanted it to be. I loved being so close to you…I mean, you've never held me like that before. It was this totally magical, amazing expression of how much we love each other."_

"_I do love you, Hales."_

"_Nate?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Do…do you think we'll always be like this?"_

"_Yeah", he nodded honestly._

"_Promise me that you, that you won't ever get tired of me."_

_The statement itself made Nathan laugh out loud._

"_Haley, I promise that I will never get tired of you. You see this ring? That means you're never getting rid of my ass. Hell, I'm just hoping you don't get tired of me."_

"_I love you and I trust you and I am deliriously happy but…"_

"_But what?"_

"_I'm still scared too."_

"_You don't have to be. I love you and I will always be here for you Haley. And I will always protect you. Always."_

_She smiled and he held her as she fell asleep in his arms. She looked like an angel and she was. She was his angel... _

The very memory made her smile…just like it always did. She would give anything to have that one moment in time back. And often she wondered how she let it slip away in the first place. But it was gone. And she had resigned herself to that fact. It was over. Nathan had let go and now it was up to her to do the same.


	51. You Can't Change The Past But The Future...

Nathan had been driving around for hours. Mostly to clear his head but that wasn't his only motive. He was looking for his brother, too. Word was, the older Scott brother was in town. Back in Tree Hill to be the Best Man for his little brother. Nathan had driven past Karen's house and the café as well the homes of all their friends and even the River Court. But it was safely tucked away from the ruckus at the beach house where he found the Corvette parked in the shadows. He got out and knocked, as he let himself in with the key. He could smell the delicious aroma of Karen's leftovers as soon as he entered and sure enough Lucas was in the kitchen preparing to eat.

"Can I come in or are you still pissed at me?"

"Yes and yes", Luke answered. "You can have some food too. I would offer you a beer but based on all the stories I've been hearing about you lately, I think a bottle of water would suffice for tonight."

"I guess I deserved that one", Nathan nodded as he helped himself to dinner and water for a drink.

"Yeah, that and a lot more. So, what are you doing here? Trying to escape Dad?"

"Always", Nathan grinned sheepishly. "But uh this time, it's a little more than that. I was looking for you. I…I wanted to talk. You up to it, man?"

"Depends", Lucas shrugged. "Am I gonna get my head bitten off this time?"

"No. I guess I owe you an apology for all that crap. I'm sorry, bro. I've just got a lot going on now."

"Apology accepted. Now talk to me, Nate."

"I don't know. I've been driving around all night just thinking."

"About?"

"Stuff. Everything. I was thinking about your mom."

"My mom?"

"Yeah. Karen's a really cool lady. I like her. She's always been nice to me. Then I think about how she must have really loved Dad back in the day. She was just a kid herself when she got pregnant with you. That must have been really hard. She must have been so scared and he just left her."

"Where's all this coming from, dude?"

"It was just on my mind. It really bothers me. I'm sorry he was such a dick to her and to you. I feel like I should apologize."

"Why? It's done besides, it's not your fault."

"I know but I feel bad. I used to think you guys got shafted and Mom and me lucked out but now I'm not so sure. You know how he can be. You know what I went through. But I always thought Mom got the better end of the deal because at least she didn't have to raise me alone. Now I see that's stupid. He made a choice between the two of them and I know he loves Mom about as much as he can love anyone but I don't know if he made the right choice."

"Nate, what are you talking about, man? Are you drunk?"

"No, I'm serious. Think about it. Everything was about basketball for Dad mostly because he always had Grandpa riding him. The only thing he had that was true was Karen and her love. When she got pregnant, he freaked and took the coward's way out, then he met my mom and found himself in the same spot. So he had a choice. I think it was too much so that's why he faked the injury and bowed out of basketball. And he chose Mom because she was the easiest pick. Life would be simple. There would be money and it would all work out whereas Karen was the complicated one even though that's where his heart really was. So this nice, confused kid makes a life choice but it's a huge mistake in the end. I think he realized that and that's what made him morph into the monster he is today. I also think if he could do it over again, he'd choose Karen."

"Nate…"

"Don't you see, Luke? History is repeating itself. I have a choice. Meg is the easy pick. She's perfect and I'd have this simple, perfect, happy little life. And I do love her, you know that. But Haley? I can't describe it, man. And it's hard to admit this after six years because I never said it out loud before and after a while, I quit saying it to myself but I do love her. I never stopped. I am crazy head over heels in love with that girl. She's all I want. She's all I think about. Yeah we have a lot to work out and talk about but I can't walk away. Not again. She hurt me but despite it all, the feelings never went away. All that stuff you said before at my house…that's why I got so pissed because you were right. I just didn't want to face it. I couldn't. I wasn't ready. But I am now. I'm ready because I don't want to be Dan Scott Jr. and more importantly, because I'm in love with Haley."

Lucas took a huge breath. It was what he had suspected all along but it was quite a feeling to actually hear it. And there it was.

"Wow! Dude, I don't know what to say. Have you thought about this?"

"For six and a half years", Nathan stated.

"Well, what are you going to do?"

"I have to see Haley. I have to talk to her and tell her face to face."

"Okay. That's all good, bro but you've got a wedding in a few days. Not to burst your bubble but what about Meg?"

Now it was Nathan's turn to sigh.

"I know. It sucks. I don't want to hurt her. I do love her and she doesn't deserve this. Any of it. Megan deserves so much more than me. So much more than I can give her."

"So how do you fix it?"

"Without someone getting hurt? I can't. I've thought about it, believe me. But this is how I feel and it's something I have to do. I think it's best that Meg know now than if we get married and she finds out later."

"You're right. It sucks but…you have to do what you have to do"

"I know. I should have done this a long time ago. Before Meg. Before the stupid tsunami. When Haley first told me about the tour that night, I got so mad at her. I told her that if she left with Chris, it was over. I was a selfish prick. I didn't mean it, man. I just didn't know what else to do. I loved her so much and I was so afraid of losing her to the music…and to Chris. When she left anyway, it just destroyed me and I couldn't handle it. I didn't know what to do."

"I know, man."

"I have to see her, Luke."

"I know. I know how much you care about Megan. But if there is somebody else…what can you do? We can't always help how we feel. Haley is a part of your history, the most important part, that came before Meg. You've been lying to yourself about the way you feel about her and you need to handle this as soon as possible. I know it won't go over well and people might get hurt but it'll just be worse if you keep pretending. If you love Hales and that's where your heart is, then you can't let her slip away. Not again. You owe it to yourself and to Haley…and even to Megan. It's only fair."

"I know."

"So now what?"

"I have to see her. I need to see Haley."

"When?"

"Right now."

"Dude…"

"I looked on the Internet on her website. It says she's in Nashville tomorrow. She and asswipe are on another tour."

"You're gonna go?"

"Yeah. If I leave right now, I can get there in time."

"It's a nine hour drive, man. You sure you're up to it?"

"I'll be fine. I have to go, Luke."

Lucas knew he had to.

"Alright. Go. Do what you have to do. Drive safe and don't be an idiot with Chris and please don't get arrested. I don't feel like bailing your crazy ass out this time."

"I'll be cool."

"You better. And just be careful. You know the media can be brutal. Try to keep it low key."

"I will. Look and if Meg or Mom or Dad…"

"I'll cover for you. I'll make up something."

"Thanks, man. I promise I'll handle everything when I get back. I'll sit Megan down and tell her the truth and break the news to everyone."

"Alright."

Nathan finished wolfing down his food and stood to leave. He embraced his brother who held him tight.

"Thanks, Luke…for everything."

"Just work it out, dude."

"You gonna lay low over here for a while?"

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"I'm good", Lucas managed to smile. "Actually, I'm expecting company later."

"Company?"

"Yeah. Uh, Brooke is supposed to come over."

"Really?" Nathan raised an eyebrow.

"Really. Looks like my advice wasn't the only one that was helpful", he winked. "Thanks a lot…little brother."

Nathan grinned before running out to his truck. It was all gassed up and ready to go. Ready to take him on a trip that would change the rest of his life.


	52. I'll Tell You My Secret If You Tell Me Y...

**_Author's Note: WARNING...uh and that's all I'm going to say. Just "warning", lol..._**

**_P.S. Lindsay, none of our first times were that beautiful, magical or perfect. Know why? Because we were harlots and didn't wait until we were married, lol! _**

Lucas walked over to the window and checked outside for what had to be the hundredth time. He then looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. Brooke wasn't coming. It made him more than sad. He hadn't been the only one who had been right. Although Nathan had touched a nerve, his little brother had a point. Lucas Scott had feelings for Brooke Davis. They had always been there. After the initial disaster, he hadn't made another attempt. There was always something in the way. Fear. Bad timing. Someone else. But he was sick of excuses. Nathan wasn't the only one with a flawed heart. It was obvious fate was moving in the fast lane so Lucas decided to jump behind the wheel and control his own destiny.

He had called her at work earlier that day and his heart flip flopped as soon as she took the call. Her sexy voice always gave him chills. He had been in an unusually good mood and she had been super flirty. One thing had led to another and he felt brave enough to invite her over for dinner. She coyly said she would check her calendar, which he took as the Brooke Davis way of saying yes while still playing hard to get. Maybe he had been the one fooled. She hadn't shown up and he was more than a little disappointed.

He went to the room that had been set up as gym by his father. Working out always built up a sweat and it helped to clear his head. He pumped iron for what seemed like forever until he was an exhausted, stinky mess. Craving a quick shower, he knew sleep would be the next step.

Stripping out of his clothes, he climbed in and let the piping hot water relax his aching muscles. It felt good and he could stay that way forever. He didn't hear the front door open. He didn't footsteps on the stairwell. He did hear bumbling about in the halls.

"Nathan?"

Maybe his brother had aborted the road trip for some reason. But there was no answer.

"Dad? Deb?"

Still silence…

Then he saw the shadowy figure in the doorway.

"What the hell?" he muttered as he pulled back the shower door.

He gasped at the sight in front of him.

"You know, Broody, I was just wondering what the cure was for a stressful, hard working day and a nice, steaming shower is exactly what came to mind."

"Brooke…" he stammered.

"See? Great minds think alike. Mind if I join you?"

Before he could answer, she dropped the towel she had stolen from the linen closet. He gulped, staring wide eyed at that gorgeous, perfect naked body he hadn't seen in years but had thought about almost every day…and night.

She sauntered in, closing the shower door behind her.

"Brooke…"

"Are you gonna stand there stuttering or are you going to kiss me? Because, uh, judging from the looks of things, seems like you're pretty happy to see me…or at least your friend is", she teased.

He couldn't move so she rolled her eyes and took the initiative. She kissed him hard and passionate and it took less than 2.2 seconds for a response. Finally, she pulled away breathless and grinning sexily as she reached for the bottled soap and poured a huge glob in her tiny hands. She rubbed them together, then onto his body, lathering up every tanned and muscled inch. Her fingers expertly kneaded the sensitive spots and he moaned appreciatively.

When he was rinsed and cleaned, she gently pushed him out of the way and began to soap up her own body. Luke's mouth hung open and he grabbed the railing for support. If he hadn't, he surely would have passed out. Watching this beautiful woman wash her body all the while teasing him while pleasuring herself was too much.

"Brooke!" he gasped as she leaned her head back and let the water run down her glistening flesh.

"What? You want me?"

"Brooke…"

"No. Don't say my name, Broody. Just tell me you want me. That's all I want to hear right now."

"I want you", he breathed as he pulled her in for another steamy kiss.

"Mmmm, that's what I like to hear", she smiled.

"God, I've wanted this for so long. Brooke, I want to take you to bed and make love to you."

"That sounds nice but we have all night for that. Right now, I'd settle for you fucking the hell out of me in this shower."

He needed no further instructions. He thrust his tongue wildly into her mouth, kissing her more feverishly than he ever had anyone before in his life. His fingertips teased her hard nipples and his mouth darted back and forth between teasing them and kissing her. He let his right hand run flat from the valley between her breasts to the smooth surface of her belly to a little further down.

"Still a fan of the Brazilian wax, I see?" he smiled.

"Glad you noticed", she whispered.

He let his fingers dip a little lower, exploring every inch of her, his blue eyes never leaving her angelic face as he watched the response from his tries at pleasing her. She yelped and whimpered at his teasing touches, finally screaming out when two fingers entered her. Lucas moaned at the wetness, playing with it for a wile before removing them and putting them to his lips.

"Tastes sweet", he said.

"Let me try", she said licking her own juices from him.

He couldn't take it anymore as he lifted her off the floor and wrapped her legs around him, plunging wildly deep inside her. The initial insertion was pure heaven as their bodies fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle. Brooke was right. There would be time for nice and proper lovemaking later but at the moment, a passionate quickie in his father and stepmother's shower was just what the doctor ordered.

They continued mind blowing sex then released simultaneously before cleaning each other up. Giddy and giggly in towels, they scurried off to the bedroom where they collapsed between the thin sheets and started the episode all over again. Hours later, they were spent and exhausted but deliriously happy. He loved the feel of her in his arms.

"Broody, that was…incredible."

"I'd say so", he heaved. "By the way, how did you get in here? Breaking and ebtering is illegal, you know."

"I didn't hear any complaints in the shower, mister", she laughed. "Besides, I didn't break in. I used the key. It was under the flower pot…where it has been since like forever which is so unoriginal by the way. One day someone is going to rob Dan and Deb blind!"

"Well, I'm glad you came…no pun intended", he joked.

"Me too…pun totally intended."

He rolled over and caressed her soft skin, stroking her face as he looked in her eyes.

"This is nice, Brooke. I'm serious. I'm glad you're here."

"I'm sure you are…"

"No. Not just because of that. I mean, that was amazing but it's more for me. It's always been more. I've wanted you for a long time…all of you."

Brooke smiled.

"I don't know if you get to have all of me."

"Brooke…"

"Luke, I'm sorry. I care for you. You know that. You're special to me. There has always been something between us. Of course I want more but our lives are so different now. We're in different cities and just in different places altogether."

"So? It could work."

"Could it? Does it really ever work?"

"We could give it a try. And we'll never know unless we do."

"Luke…"

"I love you, Brooke. I always have. And let me bold enough to say you love me, too. I want more from you, more from us than just hot sex in a bathroom every time I come to town. I want phone calls and letters and e-mails. I want to be here with you in the off season. I want you at my games. I want to give it a try because you're worth it…we're worth it."

Brooke looked away.

"Lucas, please. I can't. Don't do this to me…"

"I can't not do it. I want your heart. I want you. I'm serious."

She kissed his nose.

"I know you are."

"Then what do you say? Can we give it one more shot? Broody and Cheery round two?"

Her lips broke out into a smile.

"The sequel."

Lucas laughed out loud and kissed her.

"High five?"

"High five", she slapped his hand. "But we have to take the emotional stuff way slow. Remember what happened between you, me and a certain blonde best friend last time? So let's just see where it goes. Don't expect a double wedding with Meg and your boytoy little brother or anything."

Luke's smile quickly faded.

"Uh about that…"

"What happened? You okay, Luke?"

"Can I trust you with something? A secret?"

"Of course. Anything."

"I don't think there is going to be a wedding."

"What are you talking about? All the money those two shelled out? Tell me they're not eloping to Vegas and doing the whole tacky Elvis thing."

"No…um, Nathan…God, I don't know how to say this. Look, it's not my place so I can't get into details or anything but a lot of stuff has been going on with Nathan lately. As much as he loves Megan, he's not in love with her…not the way he's in love with Haley."

"Haley! You mean, Tutor Wife?"

"Yeah."

"But she left him."

"That was a long time ago and it's more complicated than that."

"Oh my God", Brooke sat up. "Does Meg know?"

"Not yet. Nathan needs to be the one to tell her and he will…as soon as he gets back."

"From where?"

"Nashville."

"Nashville? What is he vacationing at the Grand Ol' Opry before a quick trip to Dollywood?"

"No, he went to Haley. He went to see her. He left tonight. She's on tour there."

Brooke began hitting herself in the head with a pillow.

"Oh no! Oh God! Oh! Dammitt! Freaking Tutor Wife! Stupid Boytoy! Oh God!"

"Brooke, calm down. It's okay. I mean, it sucks because the shit is going to hit the fan but what can we do? It's their lives. Nathan can't help what he feels. All we can do is be there for them afterwards."

"No, it's not that. Oh Luke!"

"What's wrong, Brooke talk to me?"

"Okay. Um, that was a secret, right?"

"Yeah. A big one."

"Alright. Well, what if I had one of my own?"

"About Nathan and this whole mess?"

"Sort of…kind of…definitely."

"Brooke…"

"I can't tell you!"

"I told you mine!"

"But I was sworn to secrecy!"

"So was I…sort of. Look, you have to tell me. If it's something that can hurt Nathan or make this worse or…"

"I'm not! I'm sorry! I am not telling you that Megan is pregnant with Nathan's baby."

"What?" Lucas toppled out of bed in shock.

"Whoops! Damn, I have a big mouth! No fair, Broody. You totally tricked me."

"Brooke, I…"

"No! Didn't you just say we have to stay out of this and just be there for them after the fact?"

"I can't…" he said as he reached for the phone.

"Lucas Eugene! Don't do it!"

"Brooke, I have to."

Lucas frantically dialed the numbers. The phone picked up almost right away.

"Luke? What's up, man?"

"Nate! Oh God! Oh shit, man! Where are you?"

"Tennessee. I've got a few hours to go before Nashville though. Why what's up? Oh shit, is it my parents?"

"No! Worse man. I have something to tell you. I don't know how to say it but I know I have to."

"Just say it, Luke."

Lucas took a deep breath.

"Nathan…Megan, Meg is pregnant."

There it was. Nathan felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Thank God the Interstate was nearly empty as he braked to a turtle's pace in a 70 mph zone.

"What?"

"You heard me. Dude, you didn't know?"

"No", he managed.

"What are you going to do?"

Nathan couldn't think. He did the only thing he could do. He whipped the steering wheel around and crossed the median headed right back to Tree Hill.


	53. Like Father, Like Son

"More eggs, Megan?" Mae Scott offered sweetly.

"No, thank you, Mrs. Scott. I'm full."

"Are you sure, dear?"

"Leave the girl alone, Mae", Royal scoffed. "For goodness sakes. She already ate enough for ten people this morning. Don't try to fatten her up."

It was breakfast time at the Scott home. Just days before the big wedding, the family and friends were beginning to file in to town.

"Maybe we should save some for Nate. Speaking of, my grandson sure is sleeping late this morning. The groom to be must be pooped."

"He didn't come home last night", Megan said quietly.

"What?" Dan spoke up.

"He didn't come home", she repeated. "He uh…went out for a drive yesterday afternoon but he never came back."

"Goodness", Mae said. "Oh my. Should we call the police? Danny?"

"Girl, you should have said something before now", Royal admonished. "You know that boy has a few screws loose. He could be wrapped around a tree somewhere by now."

"I'll call his cell phone", Dan said sternly.

"Don't bother", Meg spoke. "I already tried."

"What's the point of having a cell phone if you don't turn it on?"

"I didn't say it was off. It rang and rang before going to voice mail. That means he had a chance to look at the Caller ID…and choose not to answer it when he saw the name."

"Oh nonsense", Royal snorted.

Deb looked away, picking at her pancakes as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. She didn't speak a word.

"Let me call Lucas. Maybe my good son knows where his idiot and delinquent brother is", Dan stood.

"Don't bother, Dad", came a voice from the doorway.

Nathan.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in", Royal shook his head. "Boy, you look like walking death eating on a cracker."

"Thanks for the love, Grandpa. Meg, can I see you for a minute? Please? In private?"

She stood silently and followed him to the bedroom they usually shared and shut the door behind him.

"Where were you last night, Nathan? Or let me guess? Just out?"

"We need to talk."

"Damn right, we do. Nathan, I'm sick of this. What is happening to you? I…"

"Megan, are you pregnant?"

She recoiled in shock, stunned that he knew her little secret.

"Nate…"

"Answer me and don't lie."

"Who…who told you?"

"Does it matter? The point is, you didn't."

Meg closed her eyes.

"I wanted to. I tried to. It was on the tip of my tongue a thousand times."

"Yet you never breathed a word. Why? How could you keep something like that from me?"

"Because I didn't know how you would react. I don't know anything these days. At times I feel like I don't even know you anymore."

"That's bullshit!"

"Is it? You come and go when you please without so much as a word or a courtesy phone call to let me know you're okay. You yell at me all the time and maybe I'm supposed to be thankful for that because when you're not screaming, you're ignoring me. You're moody and bitter and distant. You have a shot of Scotch before you brush your teeth in the morning and you don't stop drinking until it's time to go to bed, or pass out as I should say because that's what you do."

"Meg…"

"You've been different ever since…"

"The Dominican?"

"Ever since her."

He closed his eyes.

"Megan, look…"

"No. I'm not stupid, okay? I may have come from a protective, conservative family and maybe I went to private schools and stayed in my own clique of equally sheltered girlfriends. I haven't had a lot of life experience or lots of boyfriends or the wild weekends away at Spring Break but I'm not a fool, Nathan. Except for the one I've been letting you make out of me."

"It's not like that."

"Oh? Then what is it like?"

"I don't know. It's dramatic and complicated and…"

"Damn right. It's tearing me apart. And you expect me to bring a baby into all this? Nathan…"

"What do you want from me, Meg?"

"All I've ever wanted…just you. I love you, Nathan but I'm not sure if you love me anymore. If you ever did."

"That's nonsense."

"Is it?" she began to cry. "Are you…are you still in love with her?"

Nathan took a deep breath. He knew that question would come. It was inevitable. And on the long drive home, he'd had plenty of time to ponder his answer. He had made decisions, choices that would forever affect his future. All of a sudden, it was hard to look back on what Dan had done with disdain so many years ago. Now father and son had something in common. They both did what was right and what was needed, not necessarily wanted. They had to make the best out of a sticky situation. They did what they had to do.

"No", he said without an iota of emotion.

"Why? Why should I believe you?"

"Because it's me. Because I love you. Because we're getting married in a few days and we're having a kid together, Megan."

She laughed bitterly.

"Oh I see the gimmick. Poor Meg gets herself knocked up and ruins Nate's plans but he's going to do the right thing and gallantly come back to save the day and raise a family. I've heard that story before. Spare me. I don't need your pity or your nobility."

"It's not a story! I love you, Meg! You know that."

"You have a real shitty way of showing it."

"I've been through a lot, okay? You weren't there? Going through that whole tsunami…I still have nightmares. It was horrible…"

"I'm sure it was but I wouldn't know because every time I ask you to share with me, you shut down and pull away even further. I know you're hurting. I know you were scared. But we're supposed to be a team. If you love me and we're going to make a life together, then be scared with me, hurt with me. Whatever but we do it together."

"I know. I'm sorry. Meg, I'm trying, alright? I just don't know how to do things sometimes. I don't know how to be that stand up guy."

"Then you need to learn. Grow up, Nate. I need that stand up guy. I need you to be a man. I need you to be a husband…a father."

"I will be. That's why I'm here. That's why I came back. I did a lot of thinking last night. I know I messed up. But I know where I need to be."

"Need to be…or want to be?"

"Both", he whispered.

More tears fell.

"How do I know you're not here just because of the baby?"

"You just have to trust me again. We have to trust each other. I'm sorry I hurt you but I'm here to make it right."

He tried to touch her but she moved away, still crying and unconvinced. But his hand nervously found a place on her middle and the touched the core that housed the child they had conceived. Megan tried to push his hand away but he wouldn't move it. Instead he grabbed hers and held it to his. She lost her battle and lowered her head onto his sobbing. It broke his heart to hear her pain…the pain that he had caused her.

"Nathan, I love you. Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry…"

He could feel his own tears coming.

"I can't keep going through this. You can't keep hurting me."

"No more pain", he promised, kissing her forehead. "No more pain."

His lips grazed her forehead, then her cheeks and finally her lips. She kissed back, wet tears trickling into mouths. He kept kissing her and caressing her gently, trying to ease her fears…and his own. Crying quietly, Megan did not protest when he slipped the robe from her body and removed her bedclothes. He removed his own and made love to her. They held onto each other for dear life as he gently moved in and out of her body, kissing her sweet tears away. Finally they finished and held each other, feeling safe in the other person's arms. The storm had passed…or at least for the moment.

"I love you", she said, feeling his body relax as his soft snore began to set in.

Both were exhausted and could barely keep their eyes open. Megan gave way to sleep first, followed quickly by Nathan. He buried his face in her hair as the slumber took over.

"I love you, too…Haley."


	54. Last Chance

Haley frowned as she heard the commotion. Even from the elevator it was hard to ignore the ruckus being created by the hotel staff and presumably some disgruntled patron. Shaking her head, she opened the door to her home for the night. The city was Phoenix where they would perform a show the next night after flying in and performing in Denver the previous night. As much as she loved touring and singing live for the fans, she had forgotten how exhausting the schedule could be.

"Excuse me. Ms. James?"

Haley turned in the direction of hotel security running towards her.

"Yes? I'm Haley James. Can I help you?"

"Yes ma'am. So sorry to bother you but I just wanted to alert you in case you plan on leaving the hotel anytime soon…"

"Alert me? About what?"

"Well, there seems to be a rather disturbed young woman in the lobby who insists she is your sister. As policy, the hotel cannot distribute guest's information and we particularly like to protect the privacy of visitor's with the stature of you and Mr. Keller. When the lady, and I do use that term loosely, was denied access to your room, she became very belligerent and aggressive. The local police are on their way. Until the situation is contained, it is recommended that you remain safe in your room as to not further agitate the situation."

"Well, that's a first", Haley breathed uncomfortably. "Thanks for the lookout, sir."

"No problem and we apologize for the inconvenience. I assure you the proper authorities will deal with this Taylor person", he shook his head. "I swear. Just because someone has an ID with the last name as yours, they try to pull that 'she's my sister' trick. I've seen it a million and one times. You should see the teenage girls around here whenever those Backstreet Boys come to town."

Haley froze. Confusion. Public disturbance. Sister. Taylor. She cringed. Unfortunately, all those went hand in hand and painted a very frightening yet sadly too familiar picture.

"Um, sir, on second thought, if it's possible, can I get a look at that woman."

"Sure, Ms. James", he led her to the lobby. "Just stay behind me. We don't want her to see you and make a bad situation worse."

Haley peered around the corner and her fears were confirmed. There was Taylor arguing and cursing with several staff members of the hotel and a few policemen.

"This is bullshit! Screw you, man! Take me to jail! I don't give a damn! When my sister finds out about this…"

The cops slapped a pair of cuffs around her wrists as Haley stepped forward.

"Ms. James…"

"Baby sis! Finally! Thank God! Will you tell these assholes who I am?"

Haley sighed.

"It's okay, guys. Um, you can let her go. She is who she says she is. That's Taylor James and she's my sister…unfortunately."

They released her at once.

"Ms. James, we apologize…"

"It's okay."

"Okay?" Taylor scoffed. "Whatever. I've been trying to tell these jerks for the last 20 minutes and they try to cart me off to jail. You're just lucky that a few of you pigs are cute and also that I happen to be a fan of handcuffs or else I would so totally sue all you…"

"Everything's okay", Haley said, walking away and dragging her older sister with her. "I apologize for the commotion and I assure you all it won't happen again."

Once behind closed and locked doors, Haley, furious, folded her arms, waiting for some sort of explanation.

"Well…"

"Well what? What a bunch of pricks out there!"

"And I'm sure you were totally innocent in all of it", Haley rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here, Tay? I thought you were in Florida."

"Oh. That was so last month. Things changed. Anyway, I was on my way to L.A. and I talked to Mom and Dad and I heard about that whole tsunami shit and everything that happened in the Dominican Republic."

"Yeah…who hasn't?"

"So it's all true, huh? You almost died and Nathan saved your life and you two were shacked up in a little mud hut for days."

"Yes and it sucked and I really don't feel like discussing that with you right now."

"How romantic!"

"Oh it was just dreamy, Tay. Almost dying, getting hurt, watching other people get swept away, being stranded and surviving on nothing but coconuts…oh yeah it was simply idealistic."

"Okay, okay. Sarcasm not needed, Hay. When you put it that way…"

"Look, what do you want? Is it money this time?"

"Now why would you say something like that?"

"Because that's usually what it's about with you."

"I am totally offended but since you brought it up…I am a little low on funds right now. I could use a loan."

"How much?"

"A couple of grand."

Haley laughed out loud.

"Are you kidding me? Taylor, you are 26 years old and after all these years, you still don't have your shit together. Maybe it was cute when we were younger but this is getting a little old, don't you think?"

"Come on, Haley bub. I'll pay you back."

"Pay me back? With what?"

"You know I'm good for it."

"All you're good for, all you've ever been good for is showing up and starting trouble. You're nothing but trouble, Taylor. I'm going to give you three hundred bucks and that should be enough to get you to Wichita."

"Wichita?"

"Yes, you heard me. Wichita. That's where Mom and Dad are."

"Screw that. I'm not going."

"You don't have a choice. Take it or leave it."

"Fine", Taylor pulled her Ace card. "You don't give me the cash? I'll just hitchhike to California. And when I get there, I guess I'll just go back to stripping to pay the rent."

Guilt. Ha! Guilt always worked on her gullible sibling.

"I'm not falling for it this time, Tay. I'm done. We've been going through this crap for years and I'm tired. You are so desperate, it's pathetic. It's time for a little tough love. Maybe if you fall on your face a few times and everybody quits bailing you out all the time, then maybe you'll learn a lesson. Grow up and get a freaking real job!"

Taylor rolled her eyes at the unexpected roadblock. She was down but definitely not defeated.

"A real job, huh? That's cute, baby sis. But you know what? I might not need one. I bet if I go to the papers or those pesky tabloids that have been hunting me down and told them the whole sordid, dramatic story of you and number 23…well, the pay check from that might keep me afloat for a couple of months."

Haley stopped dead in her tracks.

"You wouldn't."

"I wouldn't? I'm pretty desperate, remember? Want to try me?"

"You know after all I've done for you over the years, I cannot believe you would be the evil, conniving, scandalous little bitch to stab me in the back like that."

"At least I'm not the evil, conniving, scandalous bitch sleeping with another woman's fiancé."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You and a certain ex husband getting it on in the Dominican Republic in your little love shack thinking you were in your final days and no one would ever find out."

"What?" Haley asked wide eyed. "Tay! How…how did you know? Oh my God! Who told you?"

Taylor shook her head as she laughed.

"Still naïve and completely clueless even after all these years. You just told me, little sis."

Haley closed her eyes. She had fallen for the oldest trick in the book. She had just ratted herself out. And Taylor was a dangerous and unpredictable source.

"Nice work, Tay. I guess you win again, huh?"

"I always do", she smiled. "Me and Mighty Mouse."

Haley grabbed her checkbook and a pen, hurriedly filling out the information.

"Here", she threw a check at her sister. "Happy now? Just take your money and get the hell out of my life."

Taylor inspected it, then smiled when she saw a figure of 25 hundred dollars.

"Thank you very much."

"Get out!"

"Gladly", Taylor said as opened the door to leave. "Just one more thing before I go…"

"What?"

"Answer me one question. How does it feel?"

"How does what feel?" Haley asked, annoyed.

"All of it? How did it feel to get caught up in the heat of the moment and fuck Nathan's brains out? How does it feel to know that now it's all over and you two did live, that he's back with her? How does it feel to know that in two days he's going to marry her?"

Haley shook her head.

"You are an evil, spiteful, disturbed person."

"Maybe so but at least I'm happy. I go for what I want. Moving around makes me happy and when I'm broke, I come to you. Because you have money, sister dear, and it's what I want and need so I go after that using any means necessary."

"And you're proud of that?"

"Why not? See, that's the difference between you and me, Haley. I'm the go getter of the family. You know, I actually respected you when you first went after this whole music dream. It showed some balls for you to do something for you and not give a shit about what everyone else wanted or thought. What happened to that girl? Because right now there is something you want more than anything and that's Nathan."

"You don't know what you're talking about…"

"Cut the act. It's me, Hay. I know you. Mom always says the eyes never lie and I see it written all over your face. I see it in your eyes."

"You got your money. Just get out, Taylor."

"Fine. I'm going. But just remember what I said. I know you love Nathan. You lost him once. Don't lose him again because this time it might be forever."

Haley laughed bitterly.

"What do you want me to do, Tay? Suppose you're right. What? Am I supposed to go to Tree Hill and when the minister asks the guests to 'speak now or forever hold your peace', you want me to blurt out that Nathan and I screwed each other's brains out when we were stranded and oh by the way, I still love him."

"Yeah", Taylor shrugged. "That's exactly what you do."

"You're being ridiculous."

"No, Hay. You're being ridiculous. Yeah you have the career you always wanted but does it really make you happy? Because you don't look happy right now and I have a feeling that has to do with more than me being here. At the end of the day, when everything is said and done, do those gold records and Grammys keep you warm at night?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because someone needs to. Contrary to popular belief, I am not evil little bitch everyone seems to think I am…well, at least not all of the time. But I do love you, Haley. No matter what, you're still my sister. I have the life I thought I wanted but I have no one to share it with. Just don't make the same mistakes I did."

Haley sighed as she watched her big sister leave. She loved Nathan, so what? She wanted to be with him. She didn't want him to marry Megan Powell in 48 hours. But did it matter what she wanted? It would take two, which meant Nathan Scott would have some sort of say in the matter. And he's had a chance to say something that final day in Santa Domingo when she handed him the signed divorce briefs. He could have stopped her, said something then. But he hadn't. He had spoken his final peace in the hut when he had spent hours yelling at her. He had done a good job of letting her know just how angry he was, how much she had hurt and betrayed him and ruined his life. So it no longer mattered if she did love him. Obviously he didn't love her. What she thought might have been a hint of some sort of feeling was just a mistaken emotion as two food and water starved, delirious castaways engaged in what they thought was the final act of raw passion in the final moments of their lives. That had been their last chance…and it had already passed.


	55. Someone To Be Good For

Lucas bounced the basketball as he kept the quick pace of his jog. He had intended the early morning work out to stretch a few miles across the beach at the most but somehow he had ended up in town and in front of the church where in mere hours, his little brother was to be married. To his surprise, Nathan, hands shoved in khaki shorts that could have stood a meeting with an iron, was also standing there.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"You are way early and way underdressed", Lucas commented as he removed his headphones. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I just felt like getting out of the house. Wanted to come down here and make sure everything was okay."

"Anything I can help you with?"

"No. No, man. I'm fine. Everything is good."

"Is it?" Lucas questioned.

"Yeah dude, that's what I said."

"I know what you said but uh…your face tells another story.

Nathan sighed. It was no getting around it.

"Luke…"

"We haven't had much of a chance to talk and stuff the last few days and all but I'm assuming you talked to Meg and uh…everything is true, you know, about the baby."

"Yeah. She's pregnant. Almost two months along."

"Wow. Um, are congratulations in order?"

Nathan smiled but it was obviously, painfully forced.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna be a dad. We'll have another hoopster in the family. I'm excited."

"And Meg? She's okay?"

"She's great. The morning sickness is kicking her ass but other than that, she is looking forward to Europe."

Lucas nodded.

"Um…you, you didn't confess, did you? I mean, did you tell Megan? Everything, I mean, about Hales and the Dominican and all that happened?"

"No and I'm not gonna", he said quietly.

"Okay. That's your right. I understand."

"Thanks."

Lucas couldn't just leave it that. So much had happened. Just days before Nathan had admitted his love for Haley. He had hopped in his car and headed for Nashville to try to save what love that had left. And then one statement from Brooke, one fateful phone call had changed everything. Now it wasn't a star crossed love triangle between Nathan, Haley and Megan. There was another factor in the equation, a tiny, helpless, innocent, defenseless little baby. And that baby had changed everything.

"Look, man, about the other night…"

"It's done, Luke."

"But what about Hales?"

"What about her? Everything I said that night is true but what can I do? Megan is pregnant with my kid and that changes everything."

"I know. Look, I know what you're trying to do. You just want to do the right thing and who could blame you, Nate? But you can still do the right thing by your baby and that doesn't mean you have to marry Megan."

"What?"

Lucas shook his head. It was a tough situation all the way around. No matter how you looked at it, someone was bound to get hurt. Lives of the people he really cared about would be changed forever. The decisions Nathan made in the present would somehow have an effect on all their futures.

"I know how crazy this all has been for you, Nathan. Whatever you do, whatever you decide, I am still your brother and I'll still stand by you 100 percent…even if you don't marry Meg."

"Dude, look, I am marrying Megan, okay? The wedding is in a couple of hours. The church is ready, 500 guests are ready and Megan is ready."

"What about you, little brother? Is Nathan ready?"

Nathan stared at the ground and shrugged.

"She's pregnant with my kid, man."

"I know but that doesn't mean you have to marry her. That's the wrong reason especially when you love someone else so much so that a few nights ago you were willing to leave everything and everybody to drive nine hours and tell her so. You can still be there for Meg and you can still be a good dad without marrying her."

"Can I?"

"Yes. Yes you can."

Nathan sighed as he looked at the church.

"Remember every little league team you played for or soccer or football or basketball? You know all those trophies and awards at your mom's place. Remember how you felt you won them? Or when you won the second grade spelling bee? Or forget that, how about the times you just wanted someone to go out and toss a ball with or a man to talk to about things you couldn't talk about with Karen?"

"Nate…"

"No, just think back to all those times I just mentioned and all the stories you told me about growing up with a single mother. You missed out on the love and the time and the attention of a dad. That's not right, Luke. Granted, sometimes I think you didn't miss much because we both know Dan Scott is no Cliff Huxtable but at least he was there for me. How many times did you wake up on Christmas mornings or your birthday and he wasn't there? Man, I can't do that to my child. My son or daughter will never wake up on their special day and have to wonder where their father is."

"You're right. You're absolutely right but I needed a father in my life. That's it, Nathan. I didn't need for them to be married."

"That's what you think but maybe you didn't miss it because you never had it in the first place. When I was real little, I can remember how happy our family was. It was great. Mom and Dad were great with me but I saw how much they loved each other. I had a stable home, a real family. Children need two parents together in the same house."

"You may have been happy then but what about when things changed, dude? You told me living with Dad and Deb became a nightmare. When she filed for divorce before the heart attack and kicked him out, you were actually happy. Why? Because it was better than seeing those two fight. Is that what you want for you kid? Man, little kids are smart, they pick up on stuff. You want them to see their dad drinking or arguing all the time with their mom?"

"It won't be like that."

"Then how will it be? Because you won't be happy, Nate. And Megan might be a Haley clone but you don't want that. It's not the same and you know that. You want the real thing and your heart will never be right until you and Hales settle things."

Nathan looked his older brother in the eye.

"When I was living at home and playing for Whitey when you joined the team, I was just a selfish, cocky, immature kid. When I got emancipated and later on married Haley, I became a man. Even at 16. When she left, it really hurt me. I couldn't deal so I found comfort in booze, ball, and a bunch of one night stands. And mentally I went back to being that selfish, cocky, immature kid again. I guess deep down inside I have been that guy for a while now…even with Meg. But I don't want to be him anymore, Luke. And now with a baby thrown into the mix, I can't be him. It's time to grow up again…this time for real. I have to step up. Honor, dedication, sacrifice…it's always tears when you combine those words but I'll do what I have to do. And I'll be fine. I thought I could have a second chance with Haley, one more chance at a possible future together but sometimes you don't always get what you want. Sometimes you just don't get that second chance."

Lucas opened his mouth to speak but he didn't quite know what to say. His heart was breaking for his brother. He could only imagine how difficult it must have been to be in such a situation. It was even harder to consciously make the choice to forgo self happiness in lieu of stepping up and doing the right thing. And Nathan, the egotistical bully who had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, had finally come full circle. There was no more advice Lucas could give him. Whether he agreed with the decision or not, he did respect it. And he respected his younger more than he ever had anyone at that one moment.

"Whatever you do, whatever happens, I'm here for you, Nate. I might not understand what you're doing, but I sure as hell get why you're doing it."

Nathan took a deep breath as he turned to walk away.

"It's not about me anymore, Luke. It's not about Haley or Megan or true love or money or any of that crap. It's all about this baby now. That's what matters most. I'm gonna be a dad. I have a chance to love and raise something that's mine and pray I do a better job than my parents did and that my kid turns out a lot less screwed up than I did. This is my one shot, man. It's the most important thing I'll ever do and it's going to change my life. Hell, it already has. Now…now I have someone to be good for."


	56. Taylor's Final Gift

**_Author's Note: Flashback sequence written in Italics_**

**_Have no idea who originally wrote "When The Stars Go Blue" (Ryan Adams? maybe) but I know I didn't so..._**

**_As always, all reviews are welcome, read, and appreciated. Special thanks for the awesomely kind words to: Nathan's Raven, BrennaBing, Ange, Rosie4299, Stefanie and Danielle! You guys are the fabulous ones, not me!_**

Haley took a seat on the stool staring out into an empty venue that would soon be filled with excited fans. She sighed as she adjusted the guitar strap and began to strum and sing. She kept stopping and starting all over again. Something wasn't right. Either she was seriously out of tune or the guitar was. Whatever the case, her heart just wasn't in it.

"That sounds like crap. You keep playing and singing like that, then we're gonna have a bunch of pissed off fans demanding their money back."

She didn't even have to look up. It was Chris of course.

"I'm really not in the mood…"

He took one look at her face and saw that was true. Her eyes were clouded with worry and there was a heavy shadow of what could only be described as emptiness that seemed to loom over her.

"You look like you lost your best friend. What's the matter?"

She laughed sadly. Little did he know she had lost her best friend…six and a half years ago.

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"Don't lie to me, Haley", Chris said, gently touching her arm. "You don't look fine. You look like crap."

"Gee, thanks…"

"I didn't mean it like that", he sighed. "You just look sad. Want to talk about it?"

"No", she said honestly.

"Is this about Nathan?"

"And what if it is?" Haley cut him off.

"Haley…"

"You've already said your peace. I've been hearing it for six years now, Chris. I know how you feel about him."

"Yeah but I know how you feel about him, too."

"Doesn't matter anymore", Haley said, tiredly running her fingers through her hair. "You were right."

"I was?"

"Yeah. I know that now. I have to let go and it's the end. So that is that. That's the way it is so I'm gonna deal with it because I have no other choice. I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I Just need to get ready for tonight. Music has always been my therapy. You're right, Chris…this is my life. And once I get out on this stage tonight, I know I'm gonna be fine."

He nodded quietly and decided not to press further even though it was clear she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince him. Instead, he put on his guitar and rehearsed with her.

"You want to practice the duet real quick?" he asked.

She nodded and set her guitar aside as she stood and reached for the mike. Chris began to play and she closed her eyes as the melodic words just seemed to tumble out.

_Dancin' where the stars go blue  
Dancin' where the evening fell  
Dancin' in your wooden shoes  
In a wedding gown_

Chris just looked at her. She always did this sexy little dance thing when she sang that song. He wasn't even sure that she was aware of it but he had been watching her for six and a half years and he loved it. He loved the way her eyes closed and how she felt the music. It was a part of her soul.

_Dancin' out on 7th street  
Dancin' through the underground  
Dancin' little marionette  
Are you happy now?_

Haley knew the words. Oh how she knew them. She had been singing them for years. She and Chris had been doing the duet for what seemed like forever. It was a part of her. It was a part of home. Whenever she sang it she would just close her eyes and it would take her back to Tree Hill and the first time she ever sang that song.

_Where do you go when you're lonely  
Where do you go when you're blue  
Where do you go when you're lonely  
I'll follow you  
When the stars go blue_

They finished going over the set and then it was on to the pre show rituals. Chris went off to talk to his band and have a cigarette. He wasn't a heavy smoker but it never failed…after every rehearsal before every live show, he would always smoke one cigarette.

Haley went to her dressing room to be alone. She didn't like a whole lot of chatter and fuss before the show. That was her time to be calm and focus on getting into her musical groove. Like always, she lit scented candles and put on a CD. She felt like hearing Sheryl Crow and she smiled as she heard the soft lyrics of "The First Cut Is The Deepest". She sang along with the words, their parallel to her own life never went unnoticed. As she relaxed, she almost didn't hear the knock on her door.

"Come in."

"This was left for you, Ms. James", one of the staff members told her as he handed her a large brown, business envelope.

"What is it?" Haley took it.

"I have no idea but they said your sister dropped it off before she left."

"Um, thanks."

Taylor? Haley sighed as she rushed to open it. With Taylor, there was no telling what was inside. Once the envelope was torn, Haley could make out a picture. Actually, there were two. Both were old and faded, the unprotected paper showing its wear over the years. The larger photo Haley recognized instantly. It was taken at Wrightsville Beach on the day she and Nathan had gotten married. It was an enlarged wedding photo that showed two very young and very happy people head over heels in love. Nathan looked handsome in his dark suit and his bride beamed in the white sundress and sandals.

The smaller picture was a Polaroid. Haley instantly recognized it from the Wedding Wall. Taylor must have stolen it that night she left for the tour. It must have been one of the few pictures to be rescued before Nathan destroyed them in his jealous and heartbroken frenzy. It was Haley in her burgundy tank top and Nathan in his blue collared shirt, arm in arm, grins of their faces the night of the reception Lucas had thrown for them.

She held them in her hand. It brought back a flood of memories. It made her want to laugh and cry all at the same time. She studied their expressions and it felt like just yesterday, she had taken them. She could be Tutor Wife again in a world where they were once happy.

"What's all this? Fan mail?" Chris quipped as he appeared behind her.

His presence startled her and she dropped the envelope. He cringed as he saw the pictures and the look on her face as she ogled them.

"Taking a trip down Memory Lane, huh?" he rolled his eyes as he bent down to retrieve the fallen envelope.

As he picked it up, they both discovered there was another piece of paper inside. It was filled with tiny cut outs of various Nathan and Haley pictures and they had been pasted to the paper. So was a tiny salvaged piece from the wedding wall. In between the photographs were various quotes headlined under "Naley Forever".

"**Love is never lost. If not reciprocated it will flow back and soften and purify the heart." **

"**If you love something, set it free.  
If it comes back it is yours.  
If it doesn't, it never was."**

"**If nobody loves you, be sure it is your own fault."**

"**The love in your heart wasn't put there to stay.  
Love isn't love till you give it away."**

"**War is like love; it always finds a way."**

"Tay…um, Taylor left this for me", Haley struggled to find her voice.

"She's just messing with you, Haley. She's just being Taylor."

"I know, I…"

Haley's mind froze as she thought back to a time years before. In the Scott home sitting Indian style on Nathan's bed while they were having a tutoring session. She was supposed to be there helping him with an English assignment but her real motive was his DSL computer and the chance of the speedier, better connection helping them score tickets to the Sheryl Crow concert that was coming up.

"_I hate these, little fuckers", Haley pouted. "Watch. They're gonna wait until like the last second of the auction, then bid and steal my tickets."_

_Nathan laughed._

"_Hales…"_

"_What? This isn't funny."_

"_I know but like you never curse. I just think it's cute."_

"_Well, it's definitely not going to be cute if I don't get these tickets. I swear I'm going to seriously kill somebody!"_

"_Well, since you're in such a feisty mood, why don't you come on up here?" he teased, grinning as he pulled her on top of him for a kiss._

"_Nathan, your mom is home", she laughed._

"_So…"_

"_So we're supposed to be doing homework", she pouted in between kisses._

"_Homework can wait. Besides, the assignment was dumb anyway. Mrs. Carter has us doing some crap about Shakespeare and its enough we have to read his dumb stories but we have to come up with a love quote that could relate to some of his characters and stuff."_

"_That's not dumb. It's actually pretty easy. What do you have so far?"_

"_I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is."_

_Haley laughed as she rolled her eyes._

"_Nathan! That's Forrest Gump!_

"_So? Mrs. Carter didn't say who the quote had to be from."_

"_How about this? 'Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up save in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless… it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.' That's from C.S. Lewis. It's not Forrest Gump but hey…" she joked._

_Nathan's eyes lit up as he watched her. It wasn't something she read from a textbook but rather words imbedded in her memory. And she recited them with elegance and innocence and a sweetness that made his heart race and his eyes tear._

"_That was beautiful", he whispered._

_Beautiful. Yes, Nathan Scott had used such a word._

"_Nathan", she said shyly and quietly._

_It always embarrassed her, giving her butterflies when he stared at her like that. He leaned in and kissed her as they fell back on the pillows. He moved away and brushed a stray strand of hair from her face as he stared in her chocolate eyes. God, he could stay there looking in those eyes forever. _

"_I think you missed the end of the auction", he whispered huskily._

"_I don't care", she said quickly._

_He kissed her again._

"_Doubt thou the stars are fire!  
Doubt that the sun doth move;  
Doubt truth to be a liar;  
But never doubt I love."_

"_What?" she smiled._

"_William Shakespeare."_

"_I know."_

_They kissed again and at that moment, if she didn't already know it before, she knew she was with the man she was going to love for a long time._

"Oh my God…"

"Haley? You okay?"

She backed up and stumbled, still disoriented as she reached for her purse.

"haley, what are you doing?"

"Chris, I have to go…"

"Go where?"

"North Carolina."

"Are you on drugs?" he laughed. "It's Nathan's wedding today. What are you going to do, crash it?"

"No but if I leave right now, I won't have to. I can catch him right before."

Chris' smile faded.

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"We have a show to do tonight. A sold out crowd that came to see Chris Keller and Haley James."

"I know and I'm sorry. I hate to do this to you and I hate to disappoint the fans. Just cover for me. Please, Chris. I don't ask a lot from you. Just them I'm sick or that I had a family emergency and if you lose money or you get shit from the promoters, then I'll pay for everything out of pocket. I am really sorry and I hate to do this but I have to go."

"Haley! That's nuts!"

"No. Not following my heart is nuts."

"You honestly think your showing up is going to change things?"

"I don't know", she shrugged. "But there's only one way to find out."


	57. To I Do Or Don't, That Is The Question

Megan stared at her reflection in the large vanity mirror. She was the picture of perfection. A traditional Southern bride. The white gown fit her to a tee, an image of pure loveliness. Make up had been expertly applied and there was not a flaw in her perfect creamy and smooth skin. Her hair had been styled into a classic updo with beautiful golden curls spiraling out the sides. It was her wedding day. It was supposed to be one of the greatest days of her life. She was supposed to be happy…but her face told a different story.

"Come in", she said softly as she heard the knock on the door.

Brooke.

"You all set?" the brunette asked.

"Yeah, I just have to put on my veil.

Brook nodded and smiled nervously.

"I just dropped by to see how you were. Um, I probably know I'm like the last person you want to see right now but I really wanted to apologize. I should have said something earlier but I was embarrassed."

"Brooke…"

"You trusted me with a really big secret and I let you down by blabbing to Lucas who in turn told Nathan. He shouldn't have had to find out that way that he was going to be a dad. I'm really sorry, Meg."

"It's okay. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. You're right. I should have told Nathan a long time ago."

"But he knows now, right?"

"Yeah."

"Is he happy?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think so. He loves kids."

"Good. Then it all worked out, I guess."

"Yeah…I guess."

Megan's voice trailed off sadly.

"Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that", Brooke said, pulling up a seat. "What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing, I…"

"Megan, come on."

She took a deep breath.

"Okay. You know things had gotten really bad between Nathan and me lately. After the Dominican but even before that. Ever since he found out he was still married to Haley."

"Yeah."

"I don't know. I just felt like something was going on."

"Like what?"

"Like Nathan is still in love with Haley."

"We've been through this and…"

"And what? Are you going to tell me I'm being ridiculous? Because I don't think so, Brooke."

"No, I just…"

"Remember all that stuff with you and Luke and Peyton back in high school?"

"I've spent the last seven years trying to forget but since you brought it up…" Brooke said ruefully.

"Ultimately, it came down to a choice and Lucas, at the time, chose you over Peyton even though he secretly loved her."

"Yeah…"

"You knew, didn't you?"

"What?"

"When he was with you that it was her he really wanted."

Brooke closed her eyes. That had been a long and painful time ago but she remembered it just like it was yesterday. She knew exactly what Megan was talking about.

"Yeah…I knew. I didn't want to know because sometimes we…well, we see what we want to see instead of what's really there. It hurts too much to face it. But I did know. I saw it when he looked at me and when he looked at her."

"A woman's instinct never lies, does it?"

"No, I guess not."

"I know, Brooke."

"Know what?"

"Whatever it was they had, it was beautiful and special and just magical. And very real. Nathan never got over that. I don't know if he ever will. Being with me was just a way to cope because he couldn't have her."

"Oh Meg…"

"It hurts", she said softly.

"I know but Nathan does love you. You have to know that. And now this baby changes everything."

"It does. He's back with me because it's the right thing to do. He doesn't want to abandon our child."

"He loves you."

"He loves her."

"How do you know? I mean, think about it. How do you really know? It could just be…"

"I heard him."

"What?" Brooke stopped.

"I heard him say it", Megan whispered. "He thought I was sleeping…but I wasn't. It was when he found out about the baby. He came back to me and we argued because I accused of being there only because of the baby. He denied it of course. We talked. And we made love. And it almost had me convinced. God, Brooke I was so happy. Because I thought we were going to be happy. I thought everything was okay. He held me and he called out to her. I heard it as plain as day and I'll never forget it. I told him I loved him and he whispered, 'I love you, too, Haley.'"

"Megan…"

Brooke reached out to her and the women embraced.

"Brooke, I don't know what to do", she cried.

"You love him, don't you?"

"With all my heart."

"You still want to marry him?"

"Yes, I do. A part of me hopes that'll he eventually get over her. That the baby will make it all better. That one day we'll be a normal, happy family."

"Sweetie, I'm sorry but there's no guarantee that will happen. It might and it could and for your sake I hope to God that it does. But…it might not."

"I know. So this is the part where I make a choice. I can either walk down that aisle and smile and pretend everything is wonderful and marry him and hope that he changes and he grows to love me like he once loved her and that this little baby will complete our lives. Or…"

"Or?"

"I can save us all a lot of pain and maybe a little of my dignity and get out now. Just slip out before anyone sees me."

"Megan, I know you're hurting and I know this is tough but Nathan does love you. And he loves the baby. You have every right not to marry him but if you do then…I don't know. Just do it the right way, I guess. Don't just leave, especially leave him at the altar. Don't hurt him like that. Don't humiliate him. If you do…then, you're just as bad as Haley and what she did. Six and a half years ago she nearly destroyed that boy. Don't you finish it."

Megan wiped a tear.

"I don't know what to do. I love him. I love Nathan so much. And I want this to work. Gosh, I don't want to be stupid about it. But at the same time I am and I can't help it because I feel like I'm grasping at straws and trying to hold onto something that could never be, something that's based on the principle of a lie."

"I don't know what to tell you. Meg, this isn't my call. I can't tell you whether or not to marry Nathan. That has to be your decision and I hate to rush you but it's one that you're going to have to make real soon. You're supposed to be getting married in hours."

"I know."

"So are you? What are you going to do?"

Megan stroked the diamond studded cross that lay between her breasts as she closed her eyes and prayed to her God for guidance. She loved him. She wanted desperately, more than anything, to be Mrs. Nathan Daniel Scott.

But she wanted him to love her, too. Really love her for Meg and not because she could be the quiet little trophy wife who was nothing more than a replacement for the one he had lost. Despite her strong love, could she do it? Could she really handle it? Was she prepared to live the rest of her life knowing she was someone's second choice? Knowing she had been kept around because of the child she was carrying? Knowing every time he looked at her or made love to her, that it was really Haley James he was wishing for.

"I know what I should do, Brooke", Megan sighed wipong her eyes. "I just don't know what I'm going to do."


	58. A Race Against Time

**_Author's Note: Flashback sequence written in Italics..._**

**_Some dialogue borrowed from "One Tree Hill", Season 2, Episode 13, "The Hero Dies In This One"_**

Haley raced through the airport. She was in Dallas and losing time fast. If she didn't make that plane at that very moment, then it would be too late. She had to get to Nathan in time. She had to make it before he married Megan Powell.

She threw her bag onto the table to run it through the scanner for security. She passed through and winced when the alarm set off.

"Ma'am…"

"Sorry. I've got change in pocket."

Haley emptied the money into the designated container and tried it again. The alarm went off once more. Breathless, she yanked off her earrings, rings, and watch. The alarm was still beeping like crazy.

"Goddammitt!"

"Ma'am…"

Haley didn't know what else it could be. It wasn't like she had a bomb stuck up her butt.

"Sir, I don't know…"

"It could be your belt, ma'am."

The belt buckle of course. Haley rolled her eyes. Her tiny hands worked feverishly to unbuckle it and even though the jeans were her size, it made them hang off her body and she had to use her hand to keep from giving the rest of the airport a show. She walked through again.

"Must be your lucky day, Miss", the airport guard smiled.

Haley was not in the mood and she didn't have the time. She left the change and loose bills where they were and stuffed her jewelry into her bag and took off running through the corridors, belt in one hand, while she used the other to hold up her jeans. She felt like she was partaking in a ridiculous striptease. A lot of eyes were upon her but she didn't give a damn. All she cared about was making that flight.

When she reached the gate, she handed the attendant her ticket. She was out of breath and shaking, relieved that she had made it and not giving a damn that she has to be stuffed in the rear of the Coach section next to the bathroom. She made it on board and literally collapsed in her seat. The other passengers boarded and Haley anxiously awaited takeoff as she fastened her seat belt. They sat forever and she nervously tapped her foot. What the hell was going on? At that rate, she could have gotten up and went to the cockpit and operated the damned thing herself.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we appreciate your patience and apologize for the delay but there is a slight mechanical function with the airplane. We have the specialists working on the wing right now. Takeoff should commence in approximately a half hour."

Haley's heart sank as fresh tears sprang to her eyes. No! The plane had to take off immediately. Thirty minutes would be too late! God, they had to fix it. Hell, if she had to get off the damned thing and get on her knees with a monkey wrench and a screwdriver and go to work herself, then she would.

She could feel the beads of sweat on her forehead. Much to the dismay of the ill-fated passenger seated beside her, Haley's breath was coming in radical spurts. She had so much adrenaline in her body that she didn't need the plane…she could have flown on her own just by flapping her arms.

She closed her eyes in a last ditch effort to calm her nerves. Her mind drifted back to that morning. That last morning before she left…

_She was going to be late and she knew it but she didn't care. It was just one of those mornings. One of those mornings where the bed felt too good to get up. Just a few more minutes wouldn't kill her, she thought until she saw her husband dressed in dark jeans and his favorite Celtics shirt. Wow! It was a rarity when Nathan was up and dressed before she was._

_She watched him put on his shoes. Things had been rough lately, strained because of Chris and now Taylor. Her older sister had been staying with them for weeks and it was her last night. Nathan had told her to leave because she had logged on to Haley's e-mail account and messaged Chris several times pretending to be Haley. It had caused nothing but drama and turmoil, just the way Taylor liked it. But Nathan was fed up._

_God, he looked so handsome. So strong and tough and masculine. She really loved him and at times it was hard to believe he was really hers. She was lucky. Practically every girl at Tree Hill High School lusted after the young man she called her husband. They looked at her with envy and rightfully so. He had proven that the night before when he made love to her. _

_It was slow and tender but still passionate. She loved the way he felt inside of her. She loved feeling his sweat glistened muscular arms and bare back. She loved it when he kept his eyes open and they would just stare at each other as he moved in and out of her petite body. She loved how he would whisper out her name just as she brought him to the brink._

"_What are you looking at, Hales?"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Why are you staring at me like that?"_

"_Because I love you", she spoke._

_He smiled and climbed on top of her. They kissed and she moaned as his fingertips traced the outline of her sexy nightgown. His hands roamed her body, finally resting on his favorite spot…the "23" tattooed on her lower back._

"_I want you", he breathed._

"_What about Taylor?"_

"_She's not here. She didn't come home last night? Besides, who cares about her?"_

_She gave in to want and let him make love to her. Neither had any idea it would be the last time…at least for a while._

_They finished and held each other before he went off to take another quick shower. It was now evident she would have to miss her first class of the day but she didn't care as she put on her favorite robe and headed to the kitchen to put on a cup of coffee._

_Minutes later the door opened and in breezed Hurricane Taylor carrying a small box._

"_I was beginning to think you'd skipped town and left all your stuff."_

_Taylor sat the box down and scowled at her younger sister._

"_What do you care if I haven't been around? You're kicking me out, right?"_

_Haley rolled her eyes as she poured herself a cup of coffee._

"_Drop the attitude, Tay. You brought this on yourself. You've pulled a lot of crap over the years but emailing Chris as me…I just, I can't believe you'd be such a conniving little bitch!"_

"_Hey! You're the bitch who's kissing a guy that isn't your husband. You need a scapegoat, fine, let Nathan think that this is all on me, but you and I both know the kiss happened…"_

_She shut up as a fully clothed Nathan joined them. Haley placed a kiss on his lips._

"_Hey! Have a Bear Claw, brother", she slid the box of pasties over to him. "We're celebrating. I'm leaving tonight_."

_Nathan reached into the box as there was a knock at the door. It was Dan who snidely dropped off the rest of Nathan's things as he announced he was making room for Lucas to move in. Haley nearly choked. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard such shocking news. _

_But it would turn out to be an eventful 24 hours. Everything would change. Lucas would move in with Dan. The Wreckers would come to town. Chris was back. Taylor was leaving. And Haley would change everyone's lives forever…_

"We are now prepared for takeoff."

Haley snapped out of her trance and checked her watch. 45 freaking minutes had passed. Her heart pounded. Maybe there was still time. If there were a God in Heaven, then there would still be time. She wouldn't be too late.

"Please, please, please", she said to no one in particular.

"You alright, lady?" the person next to her asked.

"Fine. I'm sorry. I just don't want to be late."

"Where you headed?"

"North Carolina…for a wedding."

Not to attend one but to crash it and stop it. But she would leave that little detail out.

"Oh relax. You'll be okay. Besides, weddings never start on time."

Haley nodded and took a breath. More than anything, she hoped the stranger was right.


	59. Runaway Bride

**_Author's Note: For those of you reading today as I post this...as you may know, the story is written in my head and the next chapter has actually already been typed, however I am not going to post it right now. I will just leave you all with this so you'll have something to think about. I know, I know, I'm evil or as Jess and Lindsay love to tell me. That's fine. But it could be worse. I could have two alternate endings and have you guys text your favorite one, lol. But that would be too easy..._**

Nathan took a deep breath as he made his way to the front of the church by the minister. He looked handsome in his dar suit. His skin was tanned and his blue eyes were more than a mesmerizing sight. It was time to get married. He was ready…as ready as he ever would be.

"Nathan Scott, you got your mind right, brother?" Lucas the best man asked.

"Getting there", Nathan whispered.

Lucas smiled and shook his brother's hand as they took their places. The church was packed. Friends, family and neighbors. Politicians. Professional athletes. The cream of the crop of the social elite. Lucas scanned the crowd. Front and center was Peyton. She flashed him a nervous smile, which he returned. It was time to get the show on the road.

In the front pew of the groom's side were Dan and Deb. On the outside, they looked lovely. Dan, fit and taunt, was proud as ever, his usual smug smirk transformed into a friendly grin, just in case one of the many photographers wanted a picture of the beaming dad. Deb smiled but it wasn't one of the proud mother. It was reserved and at times even pained. She seemed just as nervous and anxious as everyone else.

Finally the music began and the wedding party made their way down the aisle. Tim, Jake, Skills, Mouth and Fergie were standing up for Nathan. Brooke, Megan's sister, Samantha, and a few of her friends were representing Megan. As Brooke walked up the aisle escorted by Jake, Lucas couldn't help but notice how gorgeous she looked. Caught in the middle of the Nathan/Haley/Megan triangle, certain aspects of their own lives had temporarily been put on hold. They hadn't had much of a chance to talk or spend time together since the night they'd spent having animalistic sex, which was also the night they'd had to tell Nathan the truth about Megan's pregnancy. It had been awkward but when she gave him that million dollar smile, he winked at her and knew all was right with the world.

After the groomsmen and bridesmaids, it was time for the children. Megan's little nephew was adorable as the Ring Bearer and Jenny looked like an angel as the Flower Girl. Like the proud parents they were, Jake and Peyton beamed from ear to ear as Peyton snapped pictures until the camera required a roll change.

Then it was time. Time for the bride. Nathan took a huge breath and so did Lucas. The wedding march began but no Megan. A murmur fell over the crowd as all eyes searched in vain for the Congressman's daughter.

Lucas and Brooke made eye contact and both had the same "oh shit" looks on their faces. Please, God. Not now. Not again. Not like this.

Hearts pounded with each passing second. Everyone was one edge. Everyone except the one person who should have been. Nathan was calm. Too calm. Eerily calm. His blue eyes remained on the door but his mind traveled back six and a half years prior…

_It was his intention to beat the living shit out of that scrawny little punk, Chris. But he hadn't. He had let it go and he didn't quite know why. Maybe it was all for the best. He'd get back on that stupid tour bus and go off to another city far away from Tree Hill and his wife. And Taylor would be gone too. At last the apartment would be theirs and theirs alone again. Nathan couldn't wait. It was just what they needed to set their shaky marriage back on track._

"_You know, now that Taylor's leaving, maybe we'll have enough hot water for our own showers", he joked. _

Haley smiled and closed the door. She eyed him a couple of times before climbing onto the counter with a sigh. Finally her arms reached out to him, hugging him sadly.

"_Haley, what's wrong?"  
_

"_Um… Michelle Branch likes my voice. She thinks I could be a singer. A real one. Chris said that she wants me on tour. I'm so far ahead with classes and I'd be back in time for finals._"

"_So says the great Chris", Nathan's smile faded as quickly as it had appeared.  
_

"_No, this isn't about him, Nathan. This is about…opportunity. I have, my entire life, been the reliable one and the dependable one and I've always done…precisely what's expected of me._"

"_Till we got married._"

"_Exactly. And then I finally did something for me…something that I wanted and the world didn't end. And I have that chance again."_

_Nathan raised his eyebrows. He couldn't believe what she was about to say._

"_If you leave me..".  
_

"_This is not the end for us. This is my shot to find out if I am good enough to have a life in music. Or if nights at Tric are all I get."  
_

"_And this has nothing to do with Chris?"  
_

"_No. Absolutely not", she answered quietly._

"_Then why haven't you asked me to come with you?_"

_It was a question Haley had no answer for.  
_

"_Did you kiss him?" Nathan asked her for the second time with a shaky voice.  
_  
_She paused for a long time. _

"_Yes."  
_  
_There it was. The truth. She had finally said it. And Nathan was beyond heartbroken.  
_

"_I'm sorry. You have to believe me. That's not what this is about. Nathan…"_

_He didn't want to hear it. He couldn't. Her words no longer mattered.  
_

"_Haley, listen…if you wanna go, you should go. If you do…we're done."_

_She gasped and cried as he turned and left the apartment. He had given her the ultimate ultimatum and she was torn by what to do. But he didn't care. Screw her pain! What about his? She had just kissed another man! And she had bitched about him jacking off to Internet porn when they were dating. Now she was married and kissing other men._

_He hated Chris Keller. He hated Haley at that moment. But he loved her, too. So much. Sometimes too much. He walked to get away and clear his head. How dare she! She was selfish. She was a cheat. She was a liar. He didn't know her anymore. He had encouraged her to follow her dreams and in the process he had created a monster. If she had the nerve to get her selfish little ass on that bus, he would divorce her and never look back. _

_The farther he walked, the angrier he became. He didn't care that it was growing cold and he had no jacket. He noticed nothing round him, that is until he saw the table. The very table where they had sat that first morning of their tutoring session. He had given her the Cracker Jack bracelet._

_Then it hit him like a ton of bricks. He loved her. Maybe he had even loved her then and just didn't know it. She was his wife. His soul. His life's work. His pride and joy. He couldn't let her get on that bus but even if she did, it wouldn't be over. He was bluffing. It would never be over. Damn, he had been a stupid fool! He took off in a dead sprint for home. He'd find her and hold her and tell her that he loved her. Together they would figure out some sort of plan._

_He ran for blocks, miles. Faster than he ever had in his life. He skipped the steps, two or three at a time and burst through the apartment door. It was quiet and his heart sank until he saw a shadow in the back._

"_Haley!" he called out._

_But it was Taylor who exited the bedroom. She just looked at him and as long as he lived, he would never forget that look._

"_I'm sorry, Nathan…she's gone."_

_His head dropped and he didn't even hear Taylor leave. Nor did he care. He was in a state of shock. Nothing seemed real to him. He must have paced that living room for hours. His thoughts were even too much. As he walked, he felt the sadness build. Sadness morphed into anger. Anger became rage. Nathan was shaking. Then he saw it. The keyboard. That goddamned keyboard he had bought that had started it all. He picked it up and chucked it as hard as he could at that stupid Wedding Wall. He wanted to physically destroy both objects. Why not? His wife had already destroyed their meaning._

_Someone could have put a dagger through his heart and it wouldn't have hurt as much. She left. She was gone. It hurt. It hurt bad! He didn't know what was worse…the fact that she was gone or that she had left even after he told her their marriage was over if she did. But did it even matter? Either way you looked at it…Haley was still gone. Gone…_

Gone. Nathan stared straight ahead. Where was Megan? The guests wondered the same thing and some of them loudly. Eyes darted across the room. Poor Dan looked on the verge of another heart attack.

"Nate…" Lucas put another arm around him.

But Nathan was quiet. He dared not move. He couldn't if he wanted to. That feeling. It was happening again. Dammitt!

Brooke's expression had turned to fear then sheer panic. She mouthed to Lucas if she should go try to find Megan. He held up his hand to stop her for the moment, not sure what to do. Then he looked over at his brother. In a simple gesture that said it all, Nathan finally just hung his head.


	60. In Difficult Circumstances, Love Those W...

The organist stopped playing and for a moment, the church went strangely silent before of seemed to erupt in a sea of hushed whispers. Lucas motioned for the woman to begin playing again and she complied but the familiar keys of the bride's march did little to produce a bride.

Lucas' heart pounded. He couldn't believe it. Deep down, he knew it was a mistake for Nathan to marry Megan. But that wasn't the way he had envisioned it ending. Not like that. Not in such a public and hurtful fashion. He looked over at his little brother. Nathan's head was down, eyes shielded from the world. Yet another devastating blow to a life that had already endured so many.

"Luke, I saw Meg a little while ago and um…I don't know but it's possible she left." Brooke whispered in his ear as she pulled him aside.

His heart sank. He hoped not but it was a thought not only his mind but in the brains of 500 waiting people.

"Okay. Look, you go and see and I'm gonna try to stall…"

Brooke nodded and turned to go find the bride but there was no need. The wedding march began one more time and as if by magic, a nervous but nevertheless beautiful Megan Powell appeared on the arm of her father. A loud, collective sigh of relief was breathed by all. Brooke and Lucas stepped back into their respective positions while he gave his brother a slap on the shoulder.

Nathan looked up and he saw her. His breath caught in his throat. She was really there. It was really happening. He thought for sure she had left him. He couldn't blame her if she had. But she didn't. She came through, looking as pretty as a picture as she slowly made her way to him.

Finally the father and daughter stopped which was Nathan's cue to step up and claim his wife to be. Rep. Powell placed Megan's hand in Nathan's and then whispered tersely in the younger man's ear.

"Take care of my little girl", he said simply.

Nathan could only nod as no words would come out. He led Megan to the spot before the preacher as he carefully lifted her veil. They stared at each other as the minister began.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and these witnesses to join together Nathan and Megan in Holy Matrimony. As believers in Jesus Christ, they recognize that it was God who instituted marriage, the same God who made and redeemed them also instituted this relationship they are about to enter…"

Nathan looked right at her, his expression blank, his eyes as dead as soap. It was nerves and maybe more. Somehow it had all been easier the first time around.

"…Nathan and Megan, the vows you are about to take are not to be taken without careful thought and prayer. For in them you are committing yourselves exclusively one to the other for as long as you both shall live. This love is not to be diminished by difficult circumstances and it is only to be dissolved by death…"

Difficult circumstances. How ironic that last line was. Nathan felt his knees buckle and he struggled to keep his six foot three inch frame vertical.

"…Who giveth this woman to be married?"

"Her mother and I", the Congressman said loudly.

Lucas' eyes kept diverting to the double doors. He'd had a bad feeling all day. When it was unclear whether or not Megan had skipped town, he thought that was what his premonition was about. But she had showed and he still had the weird, sinking knot in his gut. He just couldn't shake it. Like the wedding wouldn't just go off without a hitch. He almost expected Haley to come running through the doors to stop it last minute and profess her undying love for Nathan. Oh what a mess that would be! But the ceremony continued without interruption. There were the traditional scripture readings, prayers and hymns. Then came the big question.

"…Does anyone present here today have any reason why this man and woman should not be married? If so, speak now or forever hold your peace…"

Silence. Absolute silence. Lucas breathed in so hard, it could be heard throughout the church.

Then it was time for the vows.

"…Nathan, will you take this woman to be your wedded wife? Will you love her, honor her, comfort and keep her, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?"

He looked at her, his mouth open but no sound coming out. His mind kept reverting back to his first wedding and he would have to close his eyes and force himself back to reality. Haley didn't matter. It was over. He had to realize that. He was marrying Meg. It was what he wanted. It was what he would have to make the best out of.

"I will", he said.

"…Megan, will you take this man to be your lawful, wedded husband? To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?"

She looked up at him. God, she loved him so much. He was her heart, her soul, her love…the father of her unborn child.

"I will", she repeated softly.

Ashton, Megan's little nephew stepped up with the custom embroidered pillow that held the couple's platinum wedding bands. They made the exchange with the words:

"…I give you this ring as a symbol of my love and with it pledge my loyalty and devotion forever…"

They slipped the rings on each other's finger.

"…For as much as Nathan and Megan have consented together in holy wedlock, by the authority invested in me as a minister of the gospel according to the laws of the Sate of North Carolina, I pronounce they are husband and wife in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Nathan, you may kiss your bride…"

He looked in her tearful eyes and saw the wonderful person who had loved and nurtured him for so long. He saw a woman who loved him and wanted a life with him. He saw the mother of his child. Nathan leaned in and placed a soft, lingering kiss on her sweet lips.

"Ladies and gentlemen…I present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Nathan Daniel Scott…"

The crowd stood and applauded. Lucas looked at his brother. It had happened. It was done. There was no turning back. Nathan, although he had every reason in the world not to, had gone through with it. Lucas closed his eyes as he fumbled around in his pockets and felt the notes he had scribbled for his Best Man's speech. He had thought long and hard about what to say and in a few hours he would have his chance.

Maybe this time would be different. Maybe Megan and Nathan would be the exception. Maybe they would escape the Scott curse. Maybe they would settle down in Charlotte to a life of true normalcy, happiness and peace. Maybe a child would complete them. Maybe Nathan's mind would somehow forget the past so that his heart could embrace the future.

Sometimes life wasn't about getting what you wanted. It was one big game. Everyone was dealt a hand and it was up to the individual how they played it. Nathan Scott had certainly been blessed with good looks, opportunity and privilege, and talent. In the affairs of the heart department, fate had played more than a few cruel tricks.

From the words of George Sands, "There is only one happiness in life…to love and be loved." Nathan has experienced both. He had made a promise. He would love Megan and their child and they would love him. And that's the way it would be. Nothing else could or would matter. His time with Haley, his broken dreams from the past had sailed him by. They'd had their time together and it was as short lived as it was sweet. Haley had made her choice and no amount of time, regret, take backs, or natural disasters in the world could ever change that. With Haley it would always be that level of caution and anxiety bordering on fear. With Megan, it was the exact opposite. And that had taught Nathan a very important lesson once quoted by Voltaire…

_Love those who love you_.


	61. Where Do We Go From Here?

The reception hall of the Country Club had never looked lovelier. The decorations were soft and classic, the peach and cream of the colors Nathan and Megan had chosen blended in perfectly with every flower and design.

Peyton smiled with pride as she saw Jenny sitting on her daddy's lap. She sipped a glass of champagne when she noticed Nathan from the corner of her eye. It had been quite a day already and the wedding party had just finished with the receiving line. He had been cordial and polite, even managing to force a sincere smile or two. Underneath the strain he and Meg were still that Ken and Barbie all American couple but when he stole a moment alone, when he was tucked away in a corner when he thought no one was looking, he reached for a flask and poured its contents into his punch.

"A little liquid courage for the groom?" she asked, inching over to him.

He rolled his eyes and took a huge gulp.

"Well, if it isn't Tree Hill's very own voice of reason and my favourite ex girlfriend. Hello, Peyton. Is this the part where you come to save the day and stop me from making a big mistake? Well, you're a little too late…for the second time."

She shook head.

"Congratulations on the nuptials and for getting that moody, broody act down to a science. You have officially defeated your brother."

"Whatever."

"Look, Nate, I'm sorry, okay? I don't want to fight. I just want to say…"

"Oh I get it. This is the part where you come with the inspirational story. You know, where you tell me everything is going to be okay."

"I hope it is. You've been through so much and today…well, you took a big risk. I admire that, Nathan. You've grown a lot and…"

"Peyton…"

She didn't know what else to say so she just threw her arms around him in a huge bear hug. The wedding was over and the reception was almost. They had gorged on delicious food and posed for an endless array of photographs. Nathan was doing all he could to get through it but he just wanted it to be over.

Chicago's "You're The Inspiration" began and that was the cue for Nathan and Deb to dance together as Mark and Megan had already shared their Father/Daughter dance. The reluctant groom met his mother in the middle of the floor.

"Nathan…"

"Look, Mom we have to dance, alright? But I don't see anywhere it says we have to talk."

"I'm not here to give you grief, honey. I just want us to talk. I want to make sure everything is okay…if you're happy. Our last conversation…"

"Mom!"

"Did you go?" she persisted. "To see Haley, I mean?"

"No."

"No? Oh Nathan…"

"I tried, Mom but uh…something came up. I guess congratulations are in order because you're going to be a grandma."

Deb was in utter disbelief.

"You mean…"

"Megan is pregnant. Two months to be exact."

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Nathan. How did that happen?"

"Dad already gave me this talk when I was ten but if you want to go there again…"

"No, no. I know how it happened, I just…oh God. This…this changes everything. How do you feel about this?"

"How do you think I feel?"

"Shocked…scared out your mind, anxious, nervous but at the same time in total awe that you created life."

He flinched.

"Yeah…something like that."

"I know. I've been there, too, sweetie."

"It's cool. It was unexpected but Meg and me will be fine. We're happy. We'll deal with it."

"What about Haley?"

"What about her?"

"Nathan, you…"

"It's done, Mom. Look that ship sailed out of the harbor a long time ago. There's nothing I can do about that now. Megan and I are married and we're going to be parents and that's the end of it."

"But honey…"

"And I really don't want to hear about it anymore. Okay?"

"Okay. That's your right. I'm just concerned. I'm your mother. But whatever happens, I am here for you. I…"

"Whatever", he said, moving away. "Thanks for the dance, Mom."

"But the song isn't over."

"But the dance is", he walked away.

He was in desperate need of some air but no sooner than the music for that song stopped and Brian McKnight's "Back At One" began to play. A few feet away, Meg sat hands nervously on her lap as she watched him. They had barely spoken two words to each other since the vows and he knew that wasn't right. He walked over to his wife.

"May I have this dance?"

She nodded and took his hand, following him to the floor where she let herself melt in his embrace as they slowly swayed to the music.

"You look amazing today. Megan, I know I haven't said it but you really do."

"Thanks", she said softly.

"Look, I'm sorry about everything that has happened, okay? But we're married now and everything is going to be fine. We love each other and we're happy and we're gonna work out all the problems."

"I hope so."

"When you didn't come right out today…well, I didn't know what to think. I thought you left."

"I almost did."

"I guess I couldn't have blamed you. I've been a real dick lately. You could have left and you probably should have…but you didn't. Why?"

"Because I love you", she stated. "And because somehow I think or at least I hope there is a chance for us."

"I do love you, Meg."

"Yeah…"

"No, I mean that. You have to know that."

"I do", she finally said.

"Look", he sighed. "This is almost over here. In a few hours we're on that plane to Europe and we'll talk and figure some stuff out. Okay?"

"Okay", she nodded.

"Okay. And try to have some fun along the way because after all, it is our honeymoon."

He smiled and so did she. There was a long road ahead but by taking the marriage vows, they had agreed to weather the travel. She kissed his lips and he kissed back just as the song ended. They took their seats at the table and Lucas nervously clinked on a glass signaling the traditional toast. He reached for the words he had written but last minute decided to scrap them and just go with what was in his heart.

"As Best Man, it is my duty to stay with tradition and be the first to toast the happy couple but for me today, it has to do with a little more than tradition. I am honored to be here to celebrate the union of my little brother and his gorgeous wife. Our family has seen its fair share of drama and trials but it is celebrations like today that remind us that God has truly smiled down on us. Nathan and didn't grow up together and our relationship began on sort of shaky ground but I'm happy to say that over the years not only have we become brothers but best friends as well. Megan, you are a wonderful girl with the kindest spirit and the most beautiful heart I have ever seen. I thank God for bringing your love and beauty into our lives. I pray that you and Nathan cherish each other and that all your days may be as great as this one. It is a distinct privilege and pleasure to stand here before you all today and honor Nathan and Megan. Nate, she's a great girl and you're a very lucky man…Meg, take care of him. Congratulations guys and I wish you all the luck, love, and happiness in the world."

Everyone smiled, clapped and raised their glasses but Lucas couldn't help but feeling like a hypocrite. It was a time of uncertainty and turmoil and as much as he prayed for things to be okay, there never would be a guarantee. Nathan would always love Haley…that would never stop. And as long as that love was there, a lurking shadow would always be cast over Nathan and Megan's marriage.


	62. From One Mrs Scott to Another

Megan looked at the wedding gown that was now safely displayed on a hanger to be shipped to Charlotte. She had worn it and looked gorgeous in it. After much ado, she had gone through with the wedding and now it was off to the European honeymoon.

She sat in her lavender top and favorite white pants that were just beginning to feel slightly snug around the waist. She brushed her hair straight and took a deep breath as she stared at her wedding band and engagement ring. Being Nathan's wife was all she wanted and now the dream had come true.

When he proposed she had been the happiest girl alive. It was all she could think of or want. And now she had it. After all the drama, confusion and angst, her dreams had come true. She was the new Mrs. Nathan Daniel Scott. The funny thing was, she had no idea how she really felt about that. It went back to the old saying…"Be careful what you wish for…"

"Come in", she said to the person knocking on the other side of the door.

"Hi."

It was Jules. Megan was surprised. She was the wife of Nathan and Luke's uncle Keith. The two women had always gotten along but were never close. Meg was rather surprised to see her.

"Jules, hey. Um, come in. Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine. I just came to check on you and make sure you're alright."

"I'm good", she smiled. "Just packing up to go. I guess Nathan and I will be leaving soon."

"Europe, huh? Lucky girl. Sounds romantic."

"Yeah, we're excited."

"I…I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I know we're not that close but I do care about you and I've been concerned with everything that's going on. Haley and Nathan still being married, the divorce, the whole tsunami…it's been crazy and I just wanted to make sure you were holding up."

"I'm okay. I won't lie. It has been difficult. Nathan and I have had a rough two months but we're going to get through it."

"I hope so."

"I know and I appreciate it but we're going to be alright. I know things are going to get better once it's all calmed down. Besides, it has to…we uh…um, Nathan and I are expecting a baby."

"A baby?" Jules' face lit up with surprise. "Oh my God! When?"

"Seven months. It was totally unplanned but it's a nice surprise. We're pretty happy."

"Oh honey", Jules hugged her. "I'm happy for you, too."

"Thanks."

"You know, everything is going to be fine. Just hang in there. Scott men are weird. And marriage to them can be difficult. Don't get me wrong, I love my Keith. He's great and he makes me happy but this family is…different."

"I kind of figured that out. I've learned a thing or two about my new family over the last few months."

"You're a great girl and I know you're strong but just…don't let the pressure get to you. Especially Dan. He can be a real handful."

"So I've seen", Megan laughed.

"I know you know the story of how Keith and I came to be. Everybody has and at times that can be a little embarrassing. See, I had some troubles with an old boyfriend and I ended up in the hospital for a while. The bill was out of this world. I was in debt up to my ears. So I put out a classified ad saying I'd do anything legal for money and Dan answered. He hired me to make Keith fall in love with me, then break his heart. I went along with it because I had no choice but the last things I expected were for Keith to propose…or for me to actually fall in love with him. But he did and I did and that made for a sticky situation. Dan was pissed and he held my secret over my head. Then Lucas and Nathan and Karen and Andy found out. It was a real mess. It all hit the fan on our wedding day. It was awful. The church is packed, Keith is waiting and it's supposed to be the happiest day of my life but Karen threatened to tell Keith everything."

"What did you do?"

"What any coward would", Jules shrugged. "I ran. I just couldn't face it. Keith was devastated when he found out the truth. And I was heartbroken and ashamed…and alone. It took him a month but eventually he tracked me down. He was still so upset but through all the lies and craziness, our love was the only thing that was real. By the grace of God, we stood the test of time. It was hard and we still work at things today but we eloped and we got married and we've made quite a life together for ourselves."

"Wow."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's not always easy but you have to stay true to yourself and just worry about you and Nathan. Nothing else should matter or come before your husband and child. You married him, not the rest of us. But most importantly Meg, don't let anyone else question your decision for marrying him. With everything that happened and Haley back in the mix, some people might have their doubts but don't worry about it. No one really knows your heart or what goes on in your relationship except you. I hope it works out for you like it worked out for me…"

"And if it doesn't?"

Jules sighed.

"Then it was your mistake to make and you're the only who can make that call. But from one outsider to another, I'm here for you."

Megan hugged her again.

"Thanks. Thank you, Jules. I mean that. It means a lot."

"From one Mrs. Scott to another, I guess", the older woman smiled.

"I like the sound of that."

"Well, you better get used to it. And you better hurry up. Come on, kiddo. It's time to leave. The car is waiting and so is your husband, not to mention about a hundred desperate socialites", Jules joked.

"Oh shoot, I almost forgot", Meg laughed. "The bouquet."

"Oh yeah", Jules said as they stood and left the room. "It's like a scene out of Gladiator down there but uh…do me a favor and try to throw it in Brooke's direction. She and Lucas have been looking mighty chummy lately and well…I like her. I've been rooting for those two for years now."

The women giggled as they rejoined everyone arm in arm. Nathan, dressed more casually was waiting.

"We all set?" he asked.

"I think so. Just one more order of business."

"Well let's do it then. I'm anxious to get out of here. We need some alone time and I'm ready to start our honeymoon."

"Sounds good to me."

Lucas stood on the balcony with his brother and sister in law smiling as he looked down on the hungry pack of wolves disguised as formally dressed women. In his hand was the garter he had won in the men's toss. If he didn't know any better, he would have sworn that Nathan had aimed just for him.

"Bro, if Brooke catches this bouquet I swear it will be like the Man Upstairs sending you a personal instant message", Nathan quipped.

Lucas just laughed. Yeah, if he didn't know any better.

"Ready ladies?" Meg called down.

She eyed Brooke's position before turning her back so she could make sure to "accidentally" throw it her way. Megan turned her back to the girls, closed her eyes and threw it with a little squeal. She could hear the squabbling below, then there was a loud gasp from the group.

She smiled. Brooke must have caught it and it must have caused quite the reaction. Based on the looks on Lucas and Nathan's face, something must have happened. With her luck, the flowers probably became undone midair and by the time it made it to the ladies in waiting, there was nothing left.

With a broad grin, Megan turned around to see who had lucked out. When she caught a glimpse of the sight on the patio, her smile quickly faded. She couldn't believe it. None of them could. There on the lower deck, bouquet in hand was Haley James.


	63. A Real Class Act

**_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay...the site was down yesterday. I appreciate your patience. And Audrey, thanks so much for the intelligent, articulate, detailed, kind and eloquent review you posted!_**

A hushed silence fell over the patio. The only sound that could be heard was the distinct flow of water, courtesy of one of the fountains in the background. All eyes were on Haley James and the bundle of flowers in her hand. For a second she wanted to laugh when it reminded her of that scene from the classic movie Carrie right when the bucket of pig blood comes pouring down on the title character. The calm before the storm, before Carrie went psycho and offed the entire school.

Haley of course had no plans to turn the Country Club into a fiery inferno but nevertheless, it was no laughing matter. With every delay, mishap and obstacle in the world, she had made it to the wedding of her ex husband. The wedding she was supposed to stop but she had arrived too late. Time was definitely not on her side.

A cab had taken her to an empty church and her heart sank when she realized she had failed. Game over. Nathan had married another woman. He now belonged to Megan for eternity and there was nothing Haley could do but accept it and go back home. And that was the plan, to go back to Chris on the tour with her tail between her legs. But on the way back to the airport and surely an irreplaceable emptiness, one more stop had to be made.

The driver pulled up to the Country Club. It was her intention to just get a peek for a second. She just wanted to see it for herself. It would probably be the last time she would ever see him in person. Then her eyes caught sight of him on the balcony. He was with Lucas, hands shoved in his pockets, his blue eyes telling a different story than the tight smile on his face.

She couldn't explain it but it was a force, bigger than destiny, stronger than fate, deeper than love that seemed to pull her to him. Before Haley knew what was going on, she was paying the driver and stepping out of the taxi and making her way onto the crowded lower deck. She pushed through the people to the front just in time for the blushing bride to throw her bouquet. It wasn't a blatant act of disrespect. She hadn't caught it on purpose. It just sort of fell into her arms…

On the balcony nobody dared speak or move. Nobody except the bride. Megan was shaking uncontrollably. After a few seconds, she fled into the building, several people following her to offer comfort while her stunned husband lingered behind.

"Man, go after her", Lucas said, breaking the moment and snapping his kid brother back into reality.

Nathan nodded and clumsily made his way inside. Lucas looked around in disbelief as he was joined by their incensed father. Lucas could have sworn he saw smoke flaring from the older man's inflamed nostrils and steam coming from his ears.

"That's it", he huffed. "How dare she! Hasn't Haley James done enough? She ruined Nathan's life, broke his heart and almost got him killed. I guess the little tramp wasn't satisfied until she crashed the reception as well."

"Dad…"

"No. Call the police, son. And when they get here, they can either arrest her for trespassing or me for murder."

"Look, no one is arresting or killing anybody. You stay here. I'll take care of this, okay?"

Brooke watched a silent but still fuming Dan as Lucas left, presumably on his way down to where Haley stood beside her. Peyton was shocked and open mouthed as well. Still in her eyes Brooke saw sympathy and it enraged her. How could Peyton want to comfort Haley at a time like that? It was Haley who had showed up and ruined everything.

"Brooke…"

Brooke just shook her head. For years Haley James had been the greatest saleswoman, pitching the naïve, innocent, sweet and shy act but Brooke Davis was done buying her bullshit.

"I cannot believe you would even come here! You have some nerve."

"Brooke, I'm sorry, I…"

"I don't want to hear it. You know something? You're a real class act", she muttered sarcastically.

"I'm sorry", Haley whispered.

"And give me my damned bouquet", Brooke added, snatching the flowers away before walking off.

She met Lucas running towards her.

"Is Hales still here?" he asked out of breath.

"Unfortunately", Brooke rolled her eyes.

He brushed past her and grabbed Haley's arm, dragging her into a nearby and private downstairs room. It was away from whispers and prying eyes and cameras and away from the scene unfolding just one floor up where Megan Powell Scott was having a mental and emotional breakdown.

"Megan, breathe", Jules instructed, trying to calm her down.

But it wasn't working. There would be no breathing or calming down for that matter.

"Meg", Nathan tried.

"No! No! Don't you 'Meg' me! What the hell is she doing here? That disrespectful, manipulative little bitch! How dare she! This is my day! I am the bride and I'm supposed to be happy! And she has the nerve to show up here and then catch my bouquet? I will kill her! I will rip her ass to shreds! I'll…"

No one had ever seen the normally smiling, demure, friendly former debutante that angry. But who could blame her?

"Megan, calm down", Nathan said again.

"Did you know she was going to be here?"

"Of course not!"

"Do you still love her? Do you want to be with her, Nathan?"

"Meg! Damn! No! I married you."

"Then why is she here?" she asked as angry tears of hurt and humiliation fell.

It was yet another question Nathan couldn't answer.

"Megan…"

"No! I want her out of here! Now! I'm not playing around, Nathan! And I'm not putting up with this shit anymore! I want Haley James gone! Do you understand me? I don't care if you wave a magic wand, or you call the police, or you drag her out of here kicking and screaming but you better get rid of her now!"

Flustered, he backed out of the room and right into Tim.

"Dude, what the hell is going on here?" he rubbed his head. "This is nuts! Haley has balls the size of grapefruits! I think I saw this once on like The Bold and the Beautiful or something."

"Tim, shut the fuck up!" Nathan shook his head. "What are you doing up here anyway?"

"Oh yeah. Lucas sent me. He wants to see you downstairs in the ballroom."

Nathan pushed past his friend for the staircase. The large room appeared empty but he could see his brother by the corner. And Lucas wasn't alone.

"Luke…"

"Bro, you need to handle this. I don't know what you're going to do or say but this has to be settled by you once and for all."

Nathan knew Lucas was right. The older brother left, and the once married couple was alone and face to face. Nathan just looked at her. It was so much he wanted to say but the words just wouldn't come out. Finally it was Haley who spoke.

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I shouldn't have come here like this. I didn't mean to embarrass you or Megan. I do apologize for causing a scene at your reception but…but I'm not sorry for coming. I couldn't help it. I had to. I couldn't not come. I know that might not make sense to you now but it's how I feel. I made a mistake, Nathan. As much as I love music and my career, none of it means as much as you do. If I could take it all back or do it all over again, then I wouldn't get on that bus. I swear to you! If I had known it was going to hurt you that much or cost us our marriage, I wouldn't have done it. Not Chris or Michelle or the tour or anything. Because none of that was worth losing you. Nathan, I can't change the past but maybe I can do something about our future. I wanted to stop you from marrying her because that would just be another mistake. And one more thing that keeps us from having a future together…one possible future. I don't know anymore. I just know that I love you. And I never stopped. I've been in denial for years but I'm tired of living that way when you have my heart. And I wouldn't have done this if I didn't think there was still a chance. During the tsunami when we were in the hut…there was something still there between us. It was more than sex. I felt it, Nathan, and I know you did, too. I saw it when I looked at you and I felt it when you kissed me. I'm just asking you for another chance. I'm asking you to talk to me. I'm asking you to admit you feel something for me. I love you, Nathan. So much. And I want you…all of you everyday for the rest of our lives."

In an emotional ramble, she had poured out her heart to him. Feelings were spoken that had never been admitted out loud. Haley was putting everything on the line. Instinctively her arms rose to caress his shoulders as she anxiously awaited some sort of response.

Nathan was dumbfounded. He had waited for years to hear those words. His heart had ached for her so many nights he had spent crying himself to sleep. Although they had only been together total a little over a year, they had loved enough to last a lifetime. Every word she said rang true for him as well. He loved her. He wanted her. He'd had a similar speech prepared in his heart just weeks prior when he'd practiced it on that long "almost" drive to Nashville. Now after everything that had happened, she was in front of him…willing and ready.

He looked her deep in the eyes before taking her tiny hands in his and pulling them away. There was only one thing to do. Only one thing to say.

"You already had me", he said, walking away.

Haley's chest heaved. It was over. Really over. This time for good. They had come so far. So much had happened. They were so close. They were face to face, alone, together after so much time and so much heartbreak. She had walked out once before and now it was his turn.

"No! Nathan, no!"

He walked away and she tried to stop him but he silently pushed past her.

"Nathan! Please!"

She was clinging to him, pulling at his shirt, begging and pleading.

"Nathan! Don't go!"

He never looked back, his eyes closed so he couldn't see her pain. Hearing it was enough. She ran to him pulling his arm, his resistance causing her to fall desperately to her knees.

"Nathan! Oh my God! No! Please! Stop! Nathan! Nathan! No! I love you! Nathan, don't go! Nathan! Please don't leave me! Nathan, please! Nathan, I love you!"

She ended up on the floor, a sobbing, screaming heap. An anxious Lucas waited outside.

"Nate?"

"It's over, man", he simple said, walking past him.

Lucas reentered the room to see what was left of Haley. It broke his heart as he leaned down.

"Hales…" he said softly.

She looked up through a mass of tears. He reached out for her and she stared at his hand before taking it. He put his strong arms around her, the arms of a best friend who had comforted her so many times, so many years before.

"He's gone, Luke!" she wailed. "He's gone!"

"It's okay, Hales."

"He's gone! He's really gone! And I don't know what to do", she kept sobbing.

He'd never seen her so far gone before. So much pain. His brother's was hidden while his best friend's was on full display. More pain than they could ever imagine.

"It's okay, Hales. You're gonna be okay. I promise, Buddy", he whispered.


	64. Things Never Turn Out The Way We Plan

Lucas was emotionally draining. There should have been a hint of relief but there was none. Nathan and Megan were safely on a plane headed for Europe. Family and friends had long gone. And he had made it through his Best Man speech. Life should have been perfect at that moment. He had survived one hell of a traumatic summer and now it was on to looking forward to another season in Philadelphia and a possible championship.

But all was not right with the world, or at least his. In fact, it was anything but. The awful sinking feeling he had harbored all day had turned out to bear more than a bit of truth. Something dramatic and explosive had happened. Something no one had ever expected.

But it was over. At least he hoped so for the moment. Lucas couldn't take much more so he could only imagine what the principle members of the party, Nathan, Megan and Haley were going through. It was like a huge destructive, emotional storm had raged through tiny Tree Hill disrupting the lives of all he loved. More surreal moments in what had become a surreal existence.

He had waited for confirmation from Jake and Peyton that Nathan and Meg's airplane had taken off before he dared drive Haley to the same airport. She was headed back to Phoenix, back to her tour, back to Chris, back to her life. She had come to town to take a gamble on love. But it had backfired and she had been rendered devastated. It hurt Lucas to see her that way, to see them all that way.

He needed to be alone. He couldn't go back to his father's. He didn't even feel like seeing his mother or Andy or Keith and Jules. Lucas did not need friends or family. He needed silence. He needed to marinate solo on the events of the day and the tumultuous weeks that had preceded it. So he drove back to the very place where everything had happened. He drove back to the reception hall at the Country Club.

The remnants from hours earlier were still in place. The clean up crew had yet to arrive. There were a few dishes and glasses left behind with traces of drink still in them. Streamers hung from the ceiling rafters and a few helium deprived balloons floated inches from the floor. Sighing, he went to take a seat but noticed he wasn't alone.

Pretty as a picture and still dressed in her bridesmaids gown, Brooke sat alone in a chair staring at the ground. Lucas watched her for a moment. The coveted bouquet was placed on a nearby table. She looked so sad and so fragile at that one moment. He yearned to hold her. He wondered what exactly was on her mind.

"Hey, Cheery. Why so broody?" he asked, pulling up a chair and plopping down next to her.

"I'm okay", she managed to smile. "Just thinking."

"Everything okay?"

"Maybe I should be asking you that question. How did it go?"

Lucas gave a tired shrug.

"Nate and Meg met their flight. It took off on time and they are honeymoon bound."

"Was she okay?"

"As well as she could be despite everything that's happened. She was pretty pissed earlier."

"Can you blame her? Luke, I know Haley is your friend but that was so wrong what she did."

"I know. The timing sucked but can you believe it was done out of a good place in her heart?"

"Please!" Brooke rolled her eyes. "Sorry but Tutor Wife gets way too much undeserved sympathy if you ask me. I can't believe you feel bad for her. What we saw today was not the innocent little poncho wearing Tutor Girl Haley James. Today was disrespectful and classless and plain wrong."

"Maybe you should know all the facts before you go judging her."

"I can't believe you're defending her. What's to know? She crashed her ex husband's wedding for God's sake and humiliated the bride by catching her bouquet, which for the record was totally headed my way. I mean, how low is that? And no I don't feel bad because Haley did this crap to herself. Nathan loved her. The reason the marriage didn't work out is all her fault. She left him for Chris."

"No, she didn't. Brooke, how many times do we have to go over this?"

"Whatever. You believe her side and I choose not to. That's your deal, Luke. But we both saw what she left behind and it was pretty bad. She made a choice that had consequences. Haley has to learn to deal with them. She has to grow up sometime. She made a choice and now almost seven years, one New York City loft, a record deal, a bunch of tours and Grammys and a few million later, she can't turn it around and have her cake and eat it too. Sorry."

"Nathan still loves her."

"I'm sure he does", she answered softly. "You never forget your first love."

The look she gave him made him shiver. He couldn't help but sense the double meaning.

"No, you don't."

"But he made a choice, too. He chose Megan. He married her and now they're going to have a kid together."

"What if he made the wrong choice?"

"I don't know. You have your doubts, Boytoy has his, Meg had hers and I sure as hell had mine. But what can we do now? It's done. And even though we care about them, this isn't our lives. It's theirs to live."

"I guess you're right."

"Haley just needs to leave them alone. She's done enough to embarrass them and not to mention herself. I swear to God, they are too famous for this. What if the paparazzi had shown up? She's acting crazy and catching bouquets and the next thing you know, we're all on the cover of Us. Broody, I don't want to be on the news because of them."

"Me neither but uh…it's more complicated than that."

"You keep saying that."

"I know. But it is."

"Lucas, just tell me! I mean, what could be worse…"

"Nathan and Haley slept together in the Dominican", he blurted out.

"What?"

"They…"

"I heard you. Oh my God! I can't believe he cheated on Megan!"

"Technically, is it cheating if you sleep with your wife?"

Brooke made a face.

"Damn. I never thought about it like that. So Sally Jessy Raphael."

"Tell me about it."

"Well, regardless it was wrong and he was cheating on someone. Your brother should just learn to keep it in his pants."

"In his defense Brooke, they were stranded on a desert island hut surrounded by water after a horrible natural tragedy. They didn't know if they would live or die. I guess the sexual tension kind of built up."

"Wow. This is nuts. I don't know what to say, Broody. How was she when you put her on the plane?"

"Hurt", Lucas shrugged. "But what can you do?"

"Does she know? About the baby, I mean?"

Lucas stared at the floor.

"She does now. Me and my big mouth but um…I thought it was the right thing to do. She was just gonna find out later anyway. Plus, that explains a lot."

"Oh my God. How did she take it?"

"Better than I expected but who knows if it all sunk in. The last 24 hours has been a lot for anyone to take."

"Now I do feel bad. I still think Tutor Wife started all this crap by getting on the bus but now I can't help but feel a little sorry for her. It's sad. And I feel bad for Nathan and Megan too."

"Yeah. It's a pretty much all around fucked up situation."

Brooke shook her head.

"Remember the reception we threw Nathan and Haley? It was so nice. It kind of made you believe in love again. They were so cute and happy."

"I know."

"What the hell happened then?"

"Life", Lucas answered honestly. "Just one of its many curve balls, I guess."

"Maybe. I guess things never do turn out quite the way we plan them to."

"No, they don't."

"You think he made a mistake? Nathan marrying Meg, I mean."

"Honestly? Yes. Unfortunately, I think it's all gonna come back to bite him in the ass later on."

Brooke fondled the bouquet as they sat in thoughtful silence for a while.

"Broody?" she finally spoke.

"Yeah?"

"I…I don't want it to bite me in the ass."

"What?"

"What you said…and what we've been talking about. Nathan and Haley are star crossed lovers, like Tree Hill's own little version of Romeo and Juliet. It's like their meant to be in a way yet destiny always manages to pull them apart. And because of that, neither one of them will really ever be happy. It's a web of pain and confusion and heartbreak and other innocent people keep getting pulled into that web. It's not right. It isn't fair, Luke. I feel bad for them. Both of them. All of them actually. And I don't want it to be. I don't want that to be us. I don't want to make those same mistakes and in seven years look back and ask why? Time is too precious, Lucas and we've wasted enough of it."

"What are you saying?" he asked.

She stood and extended her hand.

"I'm saying…can we go back to the beach house, and sit on a blanket and just hold each other until the sun rises."

He looked up at her and gave her a tired smile as he took her hand.

"You bet", he finally said as he stood and rubbed his head. "That's about the best offer I've had all day."


	65. From The Bottom Of My Heart

_**Author's Note: Nicola, thanks for the review. I reformatted the chapters and everything looks good to me as well as there have been a few new readers who have been able to read from chapters 1 to the present and they haven't had problems. If you know of any specific broken links, let me know and I'll try to fix them. The best thing I can tell you now is to join the Author Alert listing for gooseles which will automatically e-mail new updates to your account. Thanks for all the interest, support and feedback. Sorry I couldn't be of more help, hon...**_

The venue was empty but it wasn't completely silent. There was the faint hum of music in the form of a strumming guitar. On a stool in the center of the stage sat Chris Keller.

"Hey", she said softly.

He looked up and went back to what he was doing.

"Look who's back", he said sarcastically.

She closed her eyes. She deserved that and a lot more. She had walked out on a friend and a business commitment as well as the fans.

"I'm sorry."

"Not as sorry as the fans were."

"What did you tell them?"

He shrugged.

"Does it matter?"

"It matters to me", she said quietly.

"Does it? Because it didn't look like it this morning when you ran out of here."

"It matters, Chris."

"Of course it does now. Seeing as how soon you're back and you look like walking death, I take it things didn't go well with the ex."

She nodded her head. Mentally, emotionally and physically she was worn out. Haley couldn't take it anymore. She had been through enough for one day. She had made her mistakes. She had been dejected. Now it was up to her and her alone to figure out how to get on and live the rest of her life. The last thing she needed was shit from a man who was supposed to be her friend.

"Look, I know I screwed up, Chris. Unfortunately, I've been doing a lot of that lately. I can't say I'm sorry enough and frankly, I'm getting tired of apologizing. I know that bus leaves in an hour and I want to be on it. My stuff is already in my bunk. If you don't want me on the tour anymore, just say the word."

He ignored her and she bowed her head before heading to the bus. As soon as she was alone, she kicked off shoes and curled up in a little ball on the bed. She wished she could stay that way forever. It was a welcome alternative as opposed to dealing with the real world and all it's problems. She heard the driver get on the bus and crank it. The band was on the other bus so that just left her and Chris. He climbed aboard and sat down and the long ride began.

"I told them you had a family emergency, alright?"

"Thanks", she mumbled barely audibly into her pillow.

"Look, I don't like the crap you pulled today. It was irresponsible and unprofessional. I want you on this tour because you're my friend and a hell of a musician but it's not gonna work if you keep kicking me in the ass, Haley."

"I know. It won't happen again, okay? Today was one huge, stupid mistake."

"Despite your heartfelt theatrics, he married the blonde anyway, huh?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, I got there too late."

"So you didn't see him?"

"I saw him alright. Let's just say I unintentionally crashed the reception."

"Nice", Chris laughed.

"And I caught Megan's bouquet."

"That was ballsy of you", he observed.

"I didn't mean to. It just sort of happened. Anyway, Nathan and I talked, or at least I talked. He listened and uh…he left. It was my last chance and I blew it. You were right. We're officially done."

"Hell, you tried, right? At least you've still got your dignity."

Haley laughed in spite of herself.

"I think I left what was left of that back on the ballroom floor of the Country Club where I dramatically attached myself to my ex husband, crying, pleading, screaming and begging for him not to leave me all the while professing my undying love and affection for him."

Chris smirked as he shook his head.

"You turned on the water works, huh? Classic desperation move. I can see it now…the Oscar winning move that has you tearfully pleading your case, careful that your mascara doesn't make a mess."

"I broke out the ugly cry."

"The ugly cry?"

"Yeah. You know the one. Where spit and snot and make up is everywhere."

"And don't forget the wildly contorted face."

"Oh no", she almost smiled. "Can't forget that. Anyway, it's over now. I wanted to know and now I do. Nathan gave me his answer ."

"Well, I would say I told you so…"

"Please don't."

"But I won't, if you'd let me finish."

"Thanks."

"It's for the best. Let him and Goldilocks live happily ever after, or at least try to. They're an American Dream duo."

"Try trio."

"Come again?"

"Megan is pregnant."

"No shit! No wonder they were in such a hurry to get to the altar. Nathan Scott", Chris shook his head. "What a joke!"

"Looks like the joke is on me this time."

"Why do you say that?"

"Look, who got herself knocked up in the Dominican", Haley said sadly, looking away.

"Holy shit! He pulled a Dan Scott after all. Come on James, you know better. You're not on birth control?"

"Not that it's any of your business but do I have sex enough to be on birth control? Besides, my periods have always been really regular so…"

"Okay, don't need to hear all that information…"

"Chris!"

"Okay, okay. Damn! Pregnant? You sure?"

"Positive and no pun intended. I ignored the sore boobs, spotting in my panties, and puking for as long as possible until a home test then a doctor confirmed everything."

"Nathan didn't strap up?"

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Oh yeah. Our little makeshift love shack made out of mud and bamboo was stocked with all the romantic fixings including, champagne, whipped cream, strawberries and a surplus of Trojans", she said in a sarcastic tone. "Jesus, Chris! It just happened in the heat of the moment, in the middle of a heated argument actually. We were stranded in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by water, surviving on coconuts, physically hurt, absolutely traumatized."

"That'll be an interesting story for the kid, you know, when it's old enough. Hell, it's a lot better than 'I got knocked up with you in the backseat of a '79 Nova'."

"Chris, that's not funny."

"Sorry. Hopefully this kid will teach you to seriously lighten up. I mean…there is going to be a kid, isn't it? Are you going to have it?"

Haley fought back tears.

"I've thought about it. Adoption isn't really an option and I don't really believe in abortion. What other choice do I have?"

"There's always a choice, Haley."

"A baby is the last thing I wanted or expected at this point in my life."

"What did Mr. NBA have to say about it all?"

"He doesn't know."

"You didn't tell him?"

"I didn't have the chance. I was a fool, Chris. I thought something was really there. I thought he still loved me. But obviously he doesn't. He wants to be with Megan. I made my choice and he made his. After I knew where his heart was, I couldn't tell him. It could either change everything or change nothing. Either way it just makes stuff more complicated."

"Okay so back to the kid. You gonna have it?"

"I think so", she nodded. "I can do it on my own. I'm sure it will be tough but tough isn't impossible. I have the money and the time."

"What about the music?"

"The music will always be there. Who knows? Maybe next time this year we'll still be on the road only we'll have a crib squeezed in the bunks along with a high chair and a dirty diaper pail", she joked.

"God save us", Chris rolled his eyes. "First Michelle, now you. I don't really like kids, especially squawking babies but maybe these kids will be cool like mini rock stars. I'll teach them the good stuff like Hendrix and the Doors and…"

"What about Barney and Elmo?"

"Uh, let me think about it…no! Not on Chris Keller's bus."

"Fine. I'll just get my own bus", Haley joked.

"Seriously though. You are going to tell him…right?"

"No. I'm not going to tell anyone. And in a few months, I won't have to. It'll be pretty obvious."

"Haley…"

"No. Not you, Chris. No lectures from you…please."

"Alright, alright. Your life, your choice, your kid."

"You think I'm doing the right thing?" she asked hopefully after a few minutes.

"I don't know. That's your call but I think it takes balls to do what you're doing. And I respect that."

"Really?"

"Yeah…look, I know I can be crass and cocky and brash and a host of other things so normally I don't like to get all mushy because it isn't my way, but deep down, you know what time it is with me. You know how much I care about you. And I'm proud of everything you have done over the years. No matter what, I'll always be your friend and I'll be here for you. Right or wrong, I support whatever you do."

Fresh tears sprang to her eyes.

"You mean that?"

He looked away, careful not to show her the single tear forming in his own eye.

"Yeah I do. From the bottom of my heart."


	66. As Good As It Gets

**_Author's Note: Thanks for catching the mistakes in the previous chapter. I reformatted it..._**

It had been a good day…or as good as one could get despite the unusual circumstances. The mood was tense and awkward, often silent as the two desperately tried not to make it the honeymoon from hell. Three days into it, they had moved from Spain to London and Rome was the next stop. The day had been spent doing all the things that tourists do. Megan was having a good time on the trip she had so looked forward to despite the nausea and the fact that her new husband's ex wife had shown up at their reception.

After a day of sightseeing, the two returned to their hotel. They had dinner and she had dozed off while he watched television. She woke up alone but he wasn't far. The balcony door was open and he was outside, leaning over the rail taking in a view of the city.

Megan stared at him for a while. His handsome face was pensive and thoughtful. Quickly and for the second time, he drained the glass that contained his Gin. Without a second thought, Megan walked out to him and refilled it.

"Thanks", he mumbled.

"You okay?"

"Just thinking."

About what, she wondered? About every disastrous thing that had mysteriously befuddled them the last few months? Was he thinking about Haley?

"About?"

"Ball. The pre season starts soon."

She breathed a sigh of relief, hoping he was being completely truthful with her.

"You nervous?"

He shook his head as he took another gulp.

"No. I never get nervous about basketball."

The conversation was strained. She hated what they had become but there was so much to get past.

"Look, about Haley…"

"You don't have to bring that up", he cut her off. "We've been over it a hundred times, Meg."

"I know. I'm sorry I freaked out but I can't help it. Look, Nathan I know there have been questions and problems and doubts recently. I just need to know we didn't make a mistake. I need to know you love me and this is what you want."

"It is."

Why did his face, his eyes, tell another story altogether?

"Okay", she said in a shaky voice.

He closed his eyes. He felt horrible. More than anything he wanted to get close to her again but it was so hard. He had made a choice and he knew he had to stick with it. If he was going to be with Megan for the rest of his life, he better start getting used to it…and liking it.

"It's cool, okay? Really, Meg. Listen, let's not talk about all this heavy stuff. What's done is done. Haley had no right to do what she did. I don't know what the hell she was thinking. But it's all over now. From now on, it's just you and me and our little family. I know I've been messing up lately but I'm trying to fix it. And me and you…well, we're gonna be okay. I love you and I am where I want to be."

She managed a small smile and let his smooth words ease some of her fears and insecurities. Megan walked up to him and hugged him, her small hands kneading his massive shoulders.

"That feels good", he moaned.

His voice was deep and throaty, the way it used to be when she touched him back before all the ex wife drama. She hoped it would be the night, the moment where he would make love to her. Really make love to her. Not like that day where he called out Haley's name or the previous few days of their honeymoon where with his mechanical moves, it seemed more like a formality than passionate newlywed sex.

"Know what I want?" she asked.

"What?"

"Let's order room service and then get in the Jacuzzi."

"Jacuzzi, huh?" he smiled.

"Yeah. I bought this really hot little black bikini I think you might appreciate so I may as well put it on while it still fits."

"You plan on gaining a lot of weight?" he teased.

"Of course. I refuse to exercise from this moment on and I am going to lie around and be lazy and eat whole pizzas and gallons of ice cream by myself."

"You are, are you?"

"Yes sir", she grinned. "I am going to get very, very fat with the biggest Buddha belly ever and you are going to love it, Mr. Scott."

She put his hand on her tummy and he flinched before relaxing a bit. An instant smile came to his face as he realized that inside her at that very moment, his child was living, breathing and growing.

"That sounds good."

"Me getting fat?" she laughed.

"No…well, that too but I meant about dinner and the Jacuzzi."

"I'm glad you approve."

"Why don't you order for us?"

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be back. Um, I'm just gonna take a quick walk and all. Call Room Service and I'll be back before they get here."

"What do you want?"

"You know my tastes. Just order whatever."

He gave her a quick kiss, then disappeared. For a minute she wanted to protest but decided against it. They had just shared their first real and comfortable moments together in what seemed like forever. She didn't want to make him mad or ruin it. So she sucked it up and picked up the phone.

"Yes please. Room Service for two in the Penthouse suite. I'll have Shrimp Cocktail, Egg Marie Rose, Chicken Devonne, Pineapple Salad, the bread and soup of the day with English Trifles for dessert. Also please send up your finest bottles of imported wine and mineral water."

She hung up and collapsed bored on the bed, grabbing the remote and flipping through channels. A half hour later, Room Service had arrived but her husband hadn't. She waited as long as she could but her hunger for two got the best of her and she succumbed. The food was good and she was tired and before she knew it, Megan was falling asleep on the couch.

What seemed like minutes but actually turned out to be hours later, she awoke alone with a start. Still no sign of Nathan. Not only was she lonely but she was concerned about him as well. She feared the worst…that something awful had happened to him. It had. Nothing of the physical nature but he was still trying to put to rest dangerous and relentless inner demons. The voices in his head followed him everywhere.

He could see, still hear the desperation as she pleaded for him. Haley on the floor, clinging her tiny frame to his larger one, anything that would keep him with her. The tears, the love…God, make it go away! It killed him to see and hear it. It killed him to walk away from it. To leave her there sobbing. God, make it stop! Make her go away…

Megan stared at the clock. It was almost ten. The sky was dark and television had long ago lost her interest. She sighed as she slipped on her shoes and grabbed her key. The elevator took her to the main floor where guests mingled about. She walked around aimlessly, her blue eyes searching. Finally, so close to just giving up, she spotted him.

The lounge was nearly empty except a few drunken patrons. He sat alone at a table near the piano bar. In his hand was a glass of whatever watered down liquor he was nursing. But his eyes were fixed on the piano or rather the ravishing beauty that sat in front of it. Petite, long auburn hair, soft good looks. And she played like an angel. Nathan, expression blank, just stared at her while his wife stared at him.

Finally she just shook her head. What else could she do? Solemnly, she returned to their suite. Things had gotten better and she was confident they would continue to. After all, he had made his choice and he had declared his love. They were fine. Nathan just needed more. More time to adjust. She loved him. She'd give him time or whatever else he needed. He'd come around…eventually. Until then she would just have to be patient. She'd have to take what she could get and at that moment, that was as good as it was going to get.


	67. All The Reason

Haley snuggled into the cool sheets with CAT contentedly at her side. It felt good to be home. Back in her own bed in her own place with her beloved cat. The past few months with all the Nathan and Tree Hill drama, then the stress of the tour had taken its toll. She was looking forward to getting her life back. There was so much to look forward to. Writing and recording a new album. Preparing for a new baby.

It was all so much. The last thing she wanted was to think about Nathan Scott but how could she not every time she realized what was going on inside her belly. Together the two had created another little life, one she would soon soley be responsible for.

A part of her felt bad for not telling him. But what was the point? He'd find out soon enough. The whole world would. That was another "perk", if you will, about celebrity life. Sometimes it could take the edge and anxiety off making huge life altering announcements…why bother when the press would just do it for you anyway?

Just as she had drifted off into a restful slumber, she heard a pounding on her door.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me", she groaned, getting up and donning a robe once it was obvious the visitor wasn't going anywhere.

She looked out the peephole and cursed again when she saw the familiar silhouette of the person behind it. Finally she opened the door.

"It's two in the morning, Tay. What are you doing here?"

"Sis, look, I got into some trouble and I need help and…"

"Forget about it. Whatever it is, the answer is no, okay? And I don't care how much you try to guilt me or beg me or blackmail me but I'm done falling for your crap. Not this time. I…"

Taylor turned around to face her little sister and Haley gasped as she recoiled at the site. There was a bruise on her cheek and her left eye, slightly swollen had started to blacken.

"Oh my God! Taylor, what happened to you?"

She shrugged tossing her now shortened and darkened hair.

"Remember that dude Eddie I told you I was hanging out with?"

"Yeah. You mean, the supposed nice guy you met surfing at North Beach?"

"Yeah…him. Uh, let's just say he turned out to be not so nice."

"Taylor…"

"Can we discuss this inside, please? If you don't mind, I'd like to receive my lecture sitting down."

Haley shook her head as she opened the door and moved out of the way. She eyed her sister and the bags she brought in, leaving them aside as she hopped on the comfortable sofa.

"That piece of scum beat you up?"

"Hell no", Taylor laughed out loud. "Please! I'm not one of those pathetic women from the Lifetime movies, the ones that need to be saved from a horrifying life of domestic abuse. Not me. Eddie did hit me but I hit him back. He punches hard but he's slow so that's where I gained the advantage. Anyway, he knew I meant business when I whacked him in the head with the frying pan."

"You hit him with a frying pan?"

"Damn right. I am ashamed to say it and this is strictly between you and me but he did win. I held my own though. Every time his sorry ass looks in the mirror , he'll remember that Taylor James was there. But anyway. He kicked me out and stole my money. I'm out of cash and I need a place to crash for a few days until I figure all this out. It won't be long and I even have a gig lined up for a job. Before you freak, it's not stripping this time. I'm gonna be a Coyote", she announced proudly.

"A what?"

"A Coyote. You know, from the movie. Remember Coyote Ugly?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, that's gonna be me."

"A dream job, huh?"

"For me", she smiled. "I guess I'll be hanging out here in the Big Apple for a while."

"The city will never be the same", Haley rolled her eyes.

Taylor just grinned.

"I was thinking…since I'm currently broke and I have no place to live and I didn't see any decent cardboard boxes on the street on the way over, maybe my favorite baby sister would be a real jewel and let me hang out here until…"

"Fine."

"Dammitt, Haley, I'm really trying, okay? I know I screw up a lot and I get myself into trouble but I'm not like you. I'm sorry but I'm Taylor. I can't be the good one or the responsible one or the…wait a minute…dude, did you just say 'fine'?"

"Yes."

Taylor wrinkled her nose. Although Haley always caved in the end, it was usually a treacherous feat trying to convince and coerce her.

"Hold on. There's no lecture?"

"No", Haley shook her head.

"No speech or threats or long spills about how I am a spoiled, careless, unreliable fuck up? No reprimand for hooking up with Eddie?"

"No. It's your life, Taylor. I can't change you. You are who you are. Besides, everybody makes mistakes."

Taylor laughed out loud as she reached over to feel her sister's forehead.

"Are you sure everything is okay? You're not running a wild fever that's making you delirious?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Okay. Wow. I'm speechless."

"For once in your life."

"Maybe I should just graciously accept my free room and board and three meals a day but curiosity is killing me right now. Why are you being so…so…"

"Nice?"

"Yeah."

"You're my sister. Despite the fact that you drive me insane and for most of my life I've wanted to throw a plugged in hair dryer in your bath, I do love you, Tay. You're my family and I'm here for you."

"I get it. This is payback, right? You're trying to thank me for all my help with the Nathan situation? I didn't think it went all that well considering I heard on the news he married that chick anyway but if you guys are doing a little humping on the side, then that's cool."

"Tay…"

"Don't feel bad. Besides, he was your man first. What is he in the bedroom?" she asked, standing up. "Nathan! Where are you, Brother? It's your favorite sis in law! I knew you'd wise up and come back!"

"Taylor, stop it. Nathan isn't here."

"Well, where the hell is he?"

"I am assuming with his wife."

"Oh Haley bub! Do I have to do everything for you? Your little Wedding Wall was already falling apart because Nathan's clumsy ass had bumped into it and knocked it down. So I steal a piece, along with a few of my favorite pictures and all that did have sentimental value for me, by the way. Precious mementos that I was gracious enough to share with you along with some pretty cool love quotes so you could see that breaking up with your husband was only like the dumbest thing ever! Damn, I thought it would work. But leave it to you. I guess I had to hold your hand and take you to Nathan myself."

"I went Taylor."

"What?"

"Yeah, one of your little harebrained schemes actually worked. It convinced me to realize my true feelings and tell him about it. So I went back to Tree Hill to stop the wedding but I got there late. I did make the reception though. Hell, I even caught the bouquet?"

"You're kidding", Taylor giggled.

"Oh no. Dan Scott just loved that one. I damn near gave him another heart attack."

"Now we're talking", the big sister approved. "You're acting like me now. Tell me more."

"There's nothing more to say. I poured my heart out but uh…let's just say I was too late. About seven years. Anyway, it's over now."

"Well, what can you do?" she finally shrugged, reaching in her bag lighting a cigarette.

"Tay, don't smoke that in here."

"It's not like it's weed or anything, which by the way, I could really use right now but I'll stick to this Marlboro Light for the moment."

"Taylor, I mean it."

"God, calm down. Don't be such a bitch."

"Taylor!"

"How am I supposed to live here with you and not smoke? What's the big deal already? You always let me smoke."

"The big deal is I can't smell that shit because it makes me sick."

"It's in your head, little sis."

"No. Actually it's in my stomach", she huffed, grabbing the cigarette and snuffing it out.

"Haley…"

"I'm pregnant, Tay."

"Pregnant? What? Like a real life baby?"

"Yes, Taylor."

"Wow. And everyone thought I'd be the one knocked up out of wedlock", she smirked. "Okay. What's the deal? Tell me. What happened? Are you keeping it? Do you know who the father is?"

"Taylor! Gosh, you are so freaking impossible sometime! I swear. Yes, I am going to keep it and of course I know who the father is."

"Keller?"

"No, idiot."

A broad smile crept to Taylor's lips.

"You little tramp! My sister, the hussy!"

"Oh it gets better. Megan is pregnant too."

"So history repeated itself, huh? Nathan turned out to be his father's son after all. Holy shit! Only in Tree Hill, I guess. Nice! Which family will he choose?"

"He doesn't know about me. I didn't have a chance to tell him and maybe it's for the best."

"Fuck it. He's gonna find out sometime, right?"

"Right."

"The shit will hit the fan when he does but whatever. I dig all the angst and drama especially when it's not happening to me. And you know there will be plenty of the above mentioned once Nathan does find out you're carrying his kid and didn't tell him."

"You know what? I don't care anymore, Tay. Nathan's feelings no longer concern me. I have to worry about myself and now this child."

"It's his child, too."

"I know."

"What are you going to do?"

"That I don't know. I am not deliberately trying to keep Nathan from this baby but at the same time, I don't want anything from him. This won't be another Karen and Dan, trust me. I'm not going to beg for his time or money and I especially don't need his or Megan's or God forbid, Dan and Deb's drama. I can do this by myself. And if in time Nathan chooses to have a relationship with the child, then I won't stand in his way."

"Looks like your mind is made up then. Sounds like a plan. Of course there's always a plan when money is involved and let's face it, baby sis, you're loaded. This will be a breeze. You can afford nannies and boarding school and when the brat really gets on your nerves, you can just say 'screw it' and go on tour. And you can afford to have liposuction and stretch marks covered if the little monster does a number on your body."

"Taylor's family values, huh? Remind me not to ever let you baby sit. Look, I'm not having a child for provocative reasons or for publicity or to let it fend for itself much like Mom and Dad did to me sometimes and you remember Brooke Davis, right? If I do this, I'm going to do it right. I am going to shower my son or daughter with love and attention and all my time. Nothing will come before this baby. I'll be the provider, mentor, teacher, friend and both mother and father. And anything else that happens…well, we'll get through it together."

"Alrighty then. Looks like you've got all the bases covered, Haley bub. Do what you have to do. And remember I'm here for you…except for being in the delivery room because that's just kind of creepy and gross. Oh and I'm not rubbing your feet or your back. And when it gets here, I'm not changing shitty diapers."

Haley smiled.

"Then how exactly do you plan to be here for me?"

Taylor thought for a minute.

"I'll hold your hair when you puke", she volunteered causing both girls to laugh out loud.

"Thanks. You're about oh 24 hours late for that but I'm sure the morning sickness will start all over again tomorrow so no worries there. But thanks anyway."

"You got it, sis. But seriously…you've done a lot for me. I haven't always been exactly grateful but I do appreciate everything you've done. And I love you. And I'm gonna love little Haley bub, too."

Tears formed in Haley's eyes.

"I don't if it's the hormones or what but that was really sweet. Thanks, Tay. That means a lot. Despite all the drama and trouble and baggage you'll bring and surely all the money you're going to end up costing me like you always do…well, I…I'm glad you're here. I love you, too and I'm gonna need all the support I can get. I just can't believe you'd do all this for me."

Taylor took her hand and gave her a real smile.

"Why wouldn't I? We're sisters, Hay, and that's all the reason I need."


	68. Visions of What Was, What Is, and What C...

**_Author's Note: Flashback scene and dialogue taken from One Tree Hill, Season 1, Episode 22, "The Games That Play Us"._**

**_Flashback sequence written in Italics..._**

"Deb, make sure you clear your calendar tomorrow. We have plans", Dan announced as he loosened his tie and kicked off his shoes after a long day at the dealership.

"Dan, the café has been extremely busy lately and we're short handed on help. I have to cover tomorrow."

"Just tell your little girlfriend, Karen, that you're busy", he ignored her. "Besides, this is more important than a few measly customers at a hole in the wall diner. Tomorrow you and I are having dinner with our son and daughter in law."

"Nathan and Megan?"

"No, Ashton and Demi. Jesus, Deb. What other son and daughter in law do we have?"

"I…I had no idea they had called and invited us."

"We're family and family needs no invitation."

"Dan!"

"What? It's pre season and the Bobcats are looking good this year, thanks to their savior, Nathan."

"So the contract negotiations went through okay?" Deb asked, putting down her book.

"Of course just like we knew they would. Sure the Good Old Boy network tried to hold out on the salary but Nathan's agents and attorneys wouldn't take no for an answer. Finally our boy is making the millions he deserves. And not to mention the merchandising and endorsement deals that are pouring in. Nathan is definitely in the money. Luke is getting there too but he's not quite as savvy as his younger brother. But if everything goes as planned this year, soon my boys will be the most popular and highest paid stars in the NBA."

"You always have a plan, Dan", she sighed.

"A little planning never hurt anyone, my dear."

"And neither did calling ahead. Dan, it's not a good idea. I have a bad feeling about all this."

"Nonsense."

"No, it isn't nonsense. I just…"

"Just what, Deb? Go ahead. Spit it out."

"I just worry about Nathan and Megan."

"They're fine", he brushed her off.

"Are they? I just egt the sense that they're having troubles. Maybe…maybe Nathan isn't happy."

"Happy? Of course he's happy. 15 million a year, stand out starter? Trust me, Deb. Nathan is very happy."

"There's more to life than a game and money."

"Really?" Dan smirked. "Like what?"

"Family."

"Nathan has family. He has you and me and his brother and now Megan."

"There's something else, Dan…something you don't know."

"I know everything."

"Not this. Meg…Megan is pregnant. Almost three months."

Dan looked over at his wife.

"Pregnant, huh? Well, that is a surprise. They are a little young but they will manage. Hopefully Meg will come to her senses and quit her job so she can take care of the kid while Nathan is busy with ball. And in 20 something years, we'll have yet another name to add to the Scott sports legacy."

"Is that all you can think of? Dan, frankly I'm worried sick. I don't know if they are ready. After everything that happened this year…"

"You mean the return of that trouble making trollop? Thank God, that's all over with."

"Is it? Is it really, Dan? Because more than the money or the fame or the career or any of that, I just want Nathan to be happy. He's my son and I love him."

"Like I said, he's happy."

"You think? Or are you just looking at the situation through designer rose colored glasses? Because I see a troubled, confused young man on a desperate downward spiral. I've only seen him this out of control twice…once right before he took the drugs in high school and collapsed and the other time when Haley left him."

"Nathan is fine. Everything is fine, Deb. I'm fine and you're fine. Everyone is fine."

"I don't feel fine. I just want more for his marriage than his last one…and ours now."

Dan stared coolly at her.

"What is that supposed to mean? Are you not happy?"

"No, I…I don't know. I love you, Dan. You know that but things are so different and they have been for years. Ever since I filed for divorce…"

"We did have a few problems here and there but I thought we worked through them, especially after my heart attack."

"After the heart attack you changed. I liked it. It reminded me of the sweet young man I fell in love with all those years ago. But just when I was getting used to and falling in love with the 'new' Dan, the old one came back and with a vengeance. Whether you admit it or not, we lost Nathan a very long time ago back when he was in high school. Now I feel like I've lost you too. It hurts. It makes me feel empty inside. I have friends and the café and my charities but for the most part, this is not how I envisioned our life together."

Dan sighed.

"What is all this about? Do you want a new car, Deb?"

"What?"

"Or how about some new clothes or jewelry or a nice island vacation?"

"Dan, this is not about any of those things. Don't you see? It's about you and me. It's about our son and his peace of mind. It's about being happy. It's about the things that truly matter."

"Deb…"

"Look at him, Dan. I mean it. Really look at him. Our son is lost."

"Spare me the melodrama. Nathan isn't lost. He's fine right now, a lot better than most. Everyday he gets to wake up and go to a job he loves. He can look in the mirror and know that he is better at that job than most people. People adore him. He's like the freaking Messiah. And he is married to a beautiful girl from good North Carolina stock. Now he's going to be a father. Why would anyone be unhappy about all that? It's the American dream, Deb. And on top of that, the kid is a millionaire at 23."

"It's not always about money, Dan. Money can't buy happiness or can't you tell? If you're having trouble, just take a look in that mirror over there."

Dan grinned as he poured himself a shot of whiskey.

"Famous saying, that is. Money can't buy happiness. I imagine whoever said that didn't have any. Money can buy anything, Deb. You know that. Don't be a fool, sweetheart. Always remember that. Money talks and bullshit walks and everybody…well, everybody has a price."

He took a sip and laughed that evil laugh of his, the one that gave her goose pimples…and not the good kind. Deb stared at a man she had loved and been married to for almost 24 years. A man she had adored since she was a girl of 18.

They had started out as the perfect couple. Beautiful, successful, rich…happy. Almost overnight they had lost their way so fast it was almost impossible to pinpoint exactly when it all fell apart. For Deb, it was a number of things. The drinking, the metamorphosis into Tree Hill's most dominant villain, the way he had callously treated one son and rode another until he broke. Al those things had been factors but there was one incident that stood out more than anything…

_She sat at the table staring at the papers. Anxiously she had awaited their arrival and now that they had come, she could only look at them. The pen had been in her hands for hours but she couldn't force herself to sign them._

"_Really, Deb, tears. On the eve of our divorce_?" _he smirked as he let himself into the home they had once shared._

_That attitude, that awful demeanor and heartless approach snapped her quickly back into reality._

"_No, actually, I was sitting here having second thoughts. Until I considered what a hideous monster you've been for most of our married lives."_

_She signed her name without hesitation or apprehension._

"_Well since we're frolicking down memory lane, let's take a stroll back to the campus the night you told me you were pregnant. You know I came to you that night to tell you I had made a decision. I was leaving school at the end of the semester."_

"_Because of your fictional knee injury?"_

"_No. No, Deb, that's just what I told you. I was leaving because there was a girl I left behind. A girl who was carrying my child. And a girl that I loved very much."_

_She felt her heart skip._

"_Karen…"_

"_But when I told you I was leaving you told me you were pregnant."_

_Deb was flustered. Confused. Disoriented. Heartbroken, even._

"_I didn't know you were leaving for Karen."_

"_I know. All you knew is that I would do right by you and Nathan which is something I've tried to do every day since then. And if that makes me a monster… then so be it."_

She heard the words like they had just been spoken. She knew that conversation from beginning to end. That's because the words had played in her head every single day since then. He had loved her but he had loved Karen more. He had chosen her but not out of love. It was more out of duty and a carefully and strategically thought out life plan, one where her parents' money would come in quite handy in financing a certain automobile dealership.

The words had been sobering. They had also hurt. She was affected deeply in a way she never had been before. Deb had never looked at him the same way since.

Now she couldn't stop looking at him. The wildly successful, ruthless tycoon she had shared her life with. Her husband. The father of her son. The man who at 42 years old was still just as handsome and toned as he was the day they married nearly a quarter of a century before.

A man time had transformed into a money and power hungry, shrewd, cold blooded, unfeeling dictator of a human being. A man seemingly lost in his own pain. A man blinded by his own ambitions. A man rarely seen without that trademark glass of watered down liquor in his hand. A man who had made a life altering choice out of duty and responsibility…not love.

Deb closed her eyes for a few seconds of clarity. When she opened them again, she gasped. It wasn't her husband she saw but instead her son.


	69. Megan's Masquerade

**_Author's Note: Still loving the feedback. I crack up when I read what you guys have to say. I realize this is a little long and may I warn you that it's probably going to get longer so thanks to EVERYONE who is sticking with this for...well, sticking with it. Keep the reviews coming, please. And the "Review of the Day" award, lol, goes to one of my favorite returning readers, Rocker Chick! Thank you, Jessica. I loved your detail comments and views!_**

"You alright, Scott?"

Nathan looked up at his friend and fellow Bobcat, Emeka Okafor. The bus had just arrived back at the New Charlotte Arena fresh from a series of road trips that had ranged from Miami to Orlando to Atlanta. The sun was just beginning to set in the North Carolina sky and after a few words from the coaches, the men had been dismissed. They said their good byes and eagerly filed out to the parking lot to retrieve their respective cars. Some couldn't wait to go out and party, some couldn't wait to get a good night's sleep, and some couldn't wait to get home to their wives or girlfriends. Regardless it seemed like everyone had something to look forward to. Everyone except a certain Point Guard who wore the jersey number, 23.

"Yeah, man. I'm good. Everything's cool."

"You sure?" Emeka asked again in his accent. "You just seem like you're somewhere else."

"I'm okay. Thanks for asking, man."

Emeka nodded and they slapped hands.

"Good games. I guess I'll see you back here for practice tomorrow."

Nathan nodded and pretended to rummage through his bag looking for keys, giving Emeka enough time to hop in his car and peel off. When he was all alone, Nathan breathed a sigh of relief, while just staring at his black, luxury SUV. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed his agent.

"Larson."

"Hey Brandon. It's me, Nate?"

"What's up, dude? You were looking good against the Magic. Five three pointers in the second half? You trying to set new records for the season?"

"I don't know, man. I guess my game was just on this weekend."

"Well, that's what I like to hear. And so do your sponsors. Don't forget about the Nike press conference next week and we are this close to securing that deal with Gatorade."

"Sounds good."

"It's better than good, it's great! You're on your way, man. Now what can I do for you?"

"Oh. Were you still trying to schedule me that interview with the Charlotte Observer?"

"Yeah. That writer, I think Elizabeth Newell is her name. Anyway, she's been really pressed to do the story but I told her to hold her horses and as soon as you got back into town and had a minute, we'd set something up."

"You got her number?"

"Yeah, somewhere."

"Good. Give her a call. She wants her interview? I'm here at the Arena waiting."

Brandon Larson laughed out loud.

"Dude, you've got to be shitting me."

"What?"

"It's almost eight o' clock at night and you've been on a week long road trip, playing your heart out every night, being cramped on a bus for hours at a time. You're home now. Relax and enjoy it. Trust me, you've got a hectic enough non stop schedule for the next few months. You should be taking any break you can get."

"Really man. It's no bother…"

"You work too hard, kid. It's cool that you want to accommodate the press and the fans but sometimes it's okay to have a moment for yourself. Go home, take a load off and relax. Spend some time with Meg."

"Yeah", Nathan breathed uneasily.

"How is she, by the way?"

"Good…uh, driving me crazy by eating ice cream and pickles and other weird shit but everything is okay."

"Congratulations. She's a great girl and you're a lucky guy. I know you two will be terrific parents. Go home and take care of your wife, man. I promise you the media will still want the story tomorrow. We'll work something out."

Nathan hung up the phone. The truth was, he didn't want to go home. Ever since returning from Europe he had immersed himself in work and the NBA's crazy schedule. He welcomed the road trips, practices and anything else that would keep him occupied. It was hard to face what was inside of that mansion on the hill on the outskirts of Charlotte but it looked as if the handsome, young newlywed had no choice in the matter. Shaking his head, he tossed the bags in his truck and hopped in, destination home.

Nathan drove the short distance in silence, his mind drifting off like it often did. At the oddest times he'd lapse back in time, the memories so vivid it was like reliving them all over again. He thought back to that night at the Arena, the night a simple decision had forever changed his life in ways no one would have ever thought possible…

_The game was about to start and the fans were pumped. The coaches were pumped. So were the players and the media. It was one of the most anticipated games in that year's Eastern Conference, the Philadelphia 76'ers at the Charlotte Bobcats. Rookie Scott brother against rookie Scott brother. Surely it would be an exciting and special night, one full of surprises. But Nathan had a surprise of his own._

_Right before the National Anthem and the announcement of the starting lineups, the Arena's large video tron camera would scan the audience and broadcast random photos on the screens displayed for the whole crowd. For a reasonable fee, fans could pay to have various messages, like Happy Birthday, shown. Nathan looked in the VIP section and took a deep breath. Everyone was there. Dan, Deb, Royal, Mae, Keith, Jules, Andy, Karen, Jake, Peyton, Jenny, Brooke, Tim, Megan, her parents, sister, and two brothers. All the people he and Lucas cared about were sitting in the stands to support them. Then the floor director gave him a little wink and he knew it was time. _

_The camera panned to Megan who didn't seem to be paying attention at first until her younger sister, Samantha, nudged her. She looked up and blushed, then gave the camera little wave. But it did not move. Slowly large neon letters began to blur her image, eventually settling into a simple question…Meg, I Love You! Will You Marry Me?_

_It took forever for her to read it then actually take in what had just happened. The shocked family and friends as well as the fans applauded loudly waiting for her answer. She was tongue tied, flabbergasted until her eyes diverted to the center court where number 23 was nervously kneeling on one knee holding an open small, black jewelry box with a sparking diamond ring._

_Finally she made her way to the floor where her prince was still waiting._

"_Nathan", she said, tears in her eyes. "What…what are you doing?"_

"_I love you", he smiled. "Meg, I wanted this to be special and perfect for you when I asked you to spend the rest of your life with me. So here it is…make me the happiest man alive and say yes or at least pretend to so that I don't look like a jackhole in front of all these people."_

"_Oh Nathan. Are you sure?"_

"_I love you. I want you to be my wife. I've never been more sure."_

"_I love you, too", she cried. "Yes. Yes, Nathan, I will marry you."_

_He slipped the gorgeous ring on her finger, then stood and swooped her up in his arms as they shared a passionate kiss in front of packed house of almost 20 thousand people…_

Nathan blinked and before he knew it, he was pulling into his paved, private drive. He needed a drink. That sounded good. And after that he would go out to his court and practice his fade away shot.

"What the hell?"

There were dozens of cars parked in the front. All the lights seemed to be on inside and as he got out, he could hear happy and distinct chatter from several different voices. Opening the unlocked front door, he saw firsthand the party that was commencing inside his four walls.

"Well, look who's here! Look everybody, it's Nathan. Nate, you weren't supposed to be in until tomorrow."

It was Kelly Sanders, Megan's boss at the firm.

"Uh yeah. We, um, got back early."

"Well, Meg will be absolutely thrilled. Let me go get her and tell her you're here."

"What's going on?"

"You didn't know? We're throwing her a party in honor of her winning the Merrill Lynch Jr. Broker of the Year award."

"Broker of the Year?"

"Oh yes. And it's quite an accomplishment. Our Megan was chosen from several carefully selected candidates from all over the country. Didn't she tell you?"

"Of course I did", Megan appeared looking stunning in a soft, elegant pink dress that was backless but allowed enough room in the waist area for her tummy that was just beginning to expand. "Right honey?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Right. Um, looks like I got here in the nick of time", Nathan forced a smile.

"Splendid", Kelly clapped. "We must get a picture of the happy couple. Can someone get the photographer, please?"

"Uh, maybe I should change…"

"Nonsense. You look as handsome as ever. Now smile."

Nathan shifted uncomfortably as he reached for his wife's hand, putting the other arm around her. Their faces smiled but the body language was tense and awkward. He hated smiling for the series of shots and was thankful when it was over.

"Oh Nathan you must be so proud of your wife", Kelly continued to gush. "She is an absolute godsend and we don't know how we'd make it without her. Megan has a tremendously bright future in this company."

"Yeah", he mumbled to Meg. "Um, congratulations on the award and all."

"Thank you, baby."

Nathan looked around. The last thing he wanted was some stupid dinner party with a bunch of his wife's co workers. He wanted to be alone. He wanted to drink.

"Well, uh, I'll let you get back to your friends. I'm just gonna go take a shower and all…"

"Nate…"

"I'll be back. I promise. Okay?"

She smiled as she realized the others were staring at them.

"Okay, then. See you soon, honey."

He nodded.

"Well done, Mommy", he said, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Well done."

Megan wished the floor would open up and swallow her. Her achievement was significant and all her husband could do was unenthusiastically say 'Well done, Mommy' and do it in front of her collageues. She could have died from humiliation right there.

"Megan, let me introduce you to someone…", Kelly dragged her across the room.

Megan put her best face forward and spoke with one of the presidents from another branch of the company. She sighed as she eyed her husband pouring a full glass of something at the bar and downing it immediately before pouring another one. Her perfect smile and flawless manners hid her pain and discomfort. Physical appearances were her masquerade for a life that was anything but perfect.


	70. City of Love

Brooke smiled as Lucas finally emerged from the locker room. Gym bag slung over his shoulder, he had changed into his less than fashionable yet seemingly comfortable ensemble of jeans, a plain tee shirt, and flip flops. She just shook her head at him.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Go ahead, Davis. You look like you're dying to speak so you might as well just say it. It's the flip flops, isn't it?"

Brooke tried to hide her grin.

"They're a total fashion code red but uh…the rest of the package isn't so bad so I guess I can let that one slide."

"Flattery gets you everywhere", he shrugged, putting an arm around her as they exited the First Union Center.

"Good game, Lucas!" a young fan yelled from the other side of the parking lot.

"Thanks, little man."

"Can I have your jersey?"

Brooke raised an eyebrow as Lucas pondered for a minute before unzipping his bag and pulling it out. He used a marker to scrawl his name on it before tossing it to the excited kid.

"That was really sweet of you", she smiled.

"I'm a sweet guy", he teased.

"You have your moments. But poor kid…I'm sure that jersey is good and funky by now after 48 straight minutes of hard playing."

"Just a little sweaty."

"Yuck!"

"You never complained before", he winked.

"Well…take me out to dinner first and maybe, just maybe, if you're lucky then I might let you sweat on me later."

"Dinner, huh?"

"Yeah, I'm a cheap date. Hell, forget the Filet Mignon, I'll take a number 7 at McDonald's right about now."

"Let's swing by my place first", he said, opening the passenger door for her before hopping in on his side.

They made the drive, Lucas quiet as Brooke happily chatted about everything and nothing at all. He was nervous but she didn't seem to notice that or the fact that they passed the turn to his street. When he pulled up to a curb in front of a random building, he put the car in park and pulled the key from the ignition.

"Where are we, Lucas?"

"Brooke, can we talk?"

"We are talking."

"I know but uh…"

"What's on your mind, Broody?"

"You like it here, don't you? Philadelphia, I mean?"

"Yeah. It's nice."

"And you like me too, right?"

"You're pretty okay in my book", she teased. "What's up, Luke?"

He took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"You know how I feel about you, Brooke. These past few weeks have been great. It's like starting over for us and things are really going great. I feel happy, complete even. And I'm glad you flew up and saw my game tonight. It meant a lot to have you in the stands."

"I'm glad to be here", she answered softly.

"Then don't go."

"Excuse me?"

"Stay. Stay here. In Philly with me."

She laughed out loud.

"I can't. You know that."

"Why?"

She saw that he was serious.

"You know why."

"Brooke…"

"Lucas, I care about you. And I'm happy, too. This…whatever it is we're trying to do now, well I like it. But we agreed to take things slow. I don't want to rush and have everything be all messed up like it was before. But besides all that, my life is back in Tree Hill. That's home for me. My friends are there and my career is there."

"But where is your heart?"

"Please don't do this. Lucas, for the first time, I feel like everything is going right. And I have myself to thank for that. I know when I was younger I was more carefree and laid back and more interested in where the next party was instead of my future but things have changed. I've changed. I buckled down and I got serious and I finished college and started a job I love. It's something I enjoy and I'm good at it and people respect me for it. Do you know what that feels like? My success is because of me. And not because of how I look or who I sleep with or how much money I have. That feels good. Independence feels good. Please don't ask me to give all that up."

Lucas sighed.

"Come with me."

"Where?"

"There's just something I want to show you. Please."

She nodded and got out, taking his hand and following his lead. Brooke watched with interest as he fumbled with keys and finally unlocked the door. He found a light and flicked it on as they stared at nothing but empty space.

"Where are we? What's all this?"

"Well, I had liked the name Brooke Davis Designs but uh…does it really matter now?"

"Lucas!"

"At my place right now my assistant just covered the floor with rose petals and a bunch of lit candles that spell out I Love Brooke. Dinner is waiting for us and after we made love, I was going to ask you to move here with me. When you protested about your job, I was going to tell you about this building space I leased for you and the assistant I hired for you and show you all the research and folders and stuff that's done so you could set up your own Interior Decorating agency."

Brooke's jaw fell to the floor. She looked around, not believing what she just heard.

"Lucas, this is…oh my God! All this is mine? You did this for me?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I love you and I want to be with you."

"This…this is too much. I can't do this. It would never work."

"Why not?"

"Because…because, I don't know. It just wouldn't. Face it. It's us, Lucas. If it wasn't for bad luck, then we wouldn't have any luck at all. I can't do this and it's unfair of you to ask me to. My life in North Carolina was going fine until you decided to breeze back into it and turn everything upside down. I'm all for trying the dating thing again when did taking things slow turn into me moving to Pennsylvania for you? Sure I can get another job but I like where I am now. And suppose I sacrifice all that for you and come here, what am I supposed to do while you're off on the road for most of the year? Lucas, I don't want to be the little trophy wife or girlfriend or whatever who spends her days shopping and getting pedicures. Maybe a few years ago that would have been a hell of a plan but I've changed."

"I know. I respect that. I like who you are and I don't want you to change for anyone. Even me."

"Then why go through all this?"

"Because I am crazy, head over heels in love with you and have been for the last five years. Do you know what that's like? To emotionally ache for someone so much, so long that it physically starts to hurt? Maybe buying the building was a mistake but I know how much you love what you do and I just anted you to be happy. I wanted to prove to you that you could still work and be independent here. Nothing would change except you and I would be together all the time. I know it's unfair asking you to give up everything and move here but I didn't have another choice. Believe me, I tried. I begged for a trade to Charlotte, hell I even would have taken a pay cut so just I could be closer to you but the Sixers wouldn't let me go."

She looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"But you love Philadelphia and your team and the coaches. You mean, you'd give all that up for me?"

"Yes, Brooke. A thousand times yes."

"Why?"

"Because you're worth it. And because I love you."

"Luke…"

"All that stuff we said about Nathan and Haley and how they lost true love. You said you didn't want it to happen to you. Well neither do I. I don't want to lose you. I just want you in my life. Sorry if I went about this the wrong way but I didn't know any other way. And I had to give it a shot, Brooke. I'm sorry."

He started to walk away.

"Does Philly get cold in the winter?"

"What?" he asked.

"You heard me. I asked if it's cold here in the winter."

"Yeah."

"Okay", she brushed by him. "At least I know to pack my moisturizer."

"What?"

"Moisturizer. For my face, Broody. My skin gets wicked dry in the winter time."

"Brooke, are you…"

"And I can put my plants over there. And I can hire a few more people. And my office is there…"

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"That I'm moving here? Yeah. I'll give it a shot. You went through a lot of trouble and besides, Brooke Davis Designs sounds kind of catchy."

"Yeah…it does", he smiled.

"Oooh, Broody, does this mean I'm the president of the company?"

"Uh…yeah, sure. I guess. Whatever you want, babe."

"Kick ass! Brooke Davis, or Madam President. Wow. This keeps getting better and better."

"Brooke, are you sure?" he asked quietly. "Because I want you to be sure."

"I'm not sure. I'm scared out of my mind and a million things could go wrong but I choose to follow my heart. Because it's telling me, 'Don't be an idiot and let this guy get away again'. I love you, too Lucas and that's the only thing I am sure of. Life is about gambles and risks and sacrifice and you've done all those for me. Now it's my turn. I guess I'm meeting you halfway."

"You're amzing, you know that?" he kissed her.

"Yeah? You're pretty freaking amazing yourself."

"So this is it, huh? We're really going to do this?"

"We are. And now you're stuck with me so no take backs, Mister. And no hair in the sink, or dirty socks lying around and oh definitely remember to put the toilet seat down."

"Any other rules, Madam President?" he grinned.

"Um, none I can think of at the moment but I'll have a list drafted up on an official memo for you in a few weeks. I'll have my new assistant do it. God, I like the sound of that!"

"I know you do. How is she? The woman you hired."

"Nice. Professional. Knowledgeable. Hard working."

"Is she pretty?"

"I don't know. I guess."

"Prettier than me?"

"Not possible", he answered, not missing a beat.

"Good. Because I can't have anybody working for me that's prettier than me. That would just bug me. So it sounds like this might just work after all."

"Well", he held her close. "Welcome to the City of Brotherly Love."

She leaned in and gave him a sweet, lingering kiss.

"Right now, it feels like the city of just love."


	71. A Very Big Deal

**_Author's Note: "Sunday Train" written by Bethany Joy Lenz..._**

"You're late."

"I know, Chris. I know", Haley said as she rushed out of the elevator.

He glanced at his watch and shook his head.

"Nice work. We finally score this meeting with the heads of Maverick Records and you pull this?"

"Jesus, it's not the end of the world. Taylor left the place a mess and CAT is sick and I couldn't find my purse and then there were no cabs and you try getting this guitar on the train and…"

"Yeah, yeah. Look, we've got five seconds to get in there."

Haley nodded and tried to run her fingers through what had become a windblown unruly mop. She took a deep breath as they entered the mahogany double doors. Haley froze, stopping dead in her tracks causing Chris to almost trip over her.

"Haley!" he whispered sternly in her ear.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God."

"What?"

"I just thought this was a meeting with the producers."

"It is."

"Then why the hell are Madonna and Guy Oseary here?"

Haley felt her heart pounding wildly. Madonna, besides being an icon and one of the world's greatest entertainers was the founder of the Maverick label and Guy was her partner, the CEO. They hardly ever showed up for artists' showcases and just being in their presence was a very big deal.

"Chris, Haley, come in. Please. Have a seat."

They entered and shook hands, exchanging various pleasantries with the bigwigs that ultimately signed their paychecks.

"Haley, with the success of Come On Home, we're anxious to get you back in the studio", Madonna began. "I had a chance to listen to some of your material and I love your writing style. It's really cool to see that even though your range has grown over the years, you still have that uniqueness to you."

"Um…thank you", she blubbered to a living legend.

"I know you've met with the other producers to discuss the specifics of the recording but Guy and I were in town and we had a meeting here earlier and when we heard you and Chris were coming in, well we were anxious to hear the new work in progress."

"Okay…sure", Haley said, pulling her guitar out of its case. "This is something Chris and I have been working on for a while and it's called Sunday Train and it's the tentative name for the new project so uh…here, here goes."

She looked at Chris and took a deep breath. She was confident in her work but it was still unnerving performing for such an audience. Her hands were shaking but the minute she played that first chord, she got into "that zone" where the music would just take over her body and soul.

_Sunday is only two days away _

_Already they said a train was coming in late _

_I'll wait _

_This reminds me of last year _

_September, I think _

_When you said you loved me _

_But you had to leave me _

_So I'll wait, I said _

_On a Sunday train _

_I can hear the whistle _

_Blowing you away _

_On a Sunday train_

_I can hear the steeple bells _

_Ringing a refrain _

_And I'll say goodbye, again and again _

_Cause I can't get it out of my head _

_And I'll wait like I wait for every Sunday train _

She stopped playing after the first verse and nervously looked around. It was quiet for a while and just when she was on the verge of tears, Guy spoke up.

"Chris, you have anything new for us?"

Haley closed her eyes. Nice going! They must have hated her. She felt like apologizing and asking for another chance. She wasn't ready. Maybe her voice had been a little off key or she had missed playing a note or two. She was really sorry. She could do better. She just needed another chance. If they only knew what she had been going through. But any hint of a second opportunity to play went by the wayside as Chris began to strum and do his own songs. He played the latest one he had been working on and also finished to silence.

The normally overconfident blue eyed babe with the smirk looked deadly nervous as the quiet in the room was almost unbearable. He and Haley looked at each other, both on the verge of mental breakdowns but the episode was interrupted by applause. Chris quickly smirked and instantly regained his poise while Haley couldn't believe it. A standing ovation.

"What can we say guys? Absolutely brilliant! It was our treat to hear what you've been writing and I think I speak for Madge here when I say keep up the good work. It sounds great."

Haley finally relaxed and smiled after breathing a huge pent up sigh of utter relief that had been lodged inside her.

"Thank you", she smiled, more at ease.

"Now, you've had the meetings with the new producer and sound engineer, correct?"

Haley didn't answer. She felt a little light headed, like the room was spinning.

"Haley?"

"What? Oh, I mean, yes. Yes. I had the meeting last week. Um, everything went great and I can't wait to get in the studio."

"Perfect. Now all we have to do is…"

Haley felt a wave of nausea so strong it nearly knocked her off her chair. Oh God. Not now. Please…

"…and things should go a lot smoother with the relaxed timeframe and…"

"Oh God!" Haley shrieked.

But it was too late. There on the lavish top floor of the New York Maverick Records building in front of her musical colleagues, the head boss and Madonna for God's sake, Haley Joy James lost her breakfast all over the conference table.

She puked hard. Harder than she ever have. And when all was said and done, there was still that godawful retching and dry heaving. The room fell silent as she finally raised her head. She could see one of the executives make a face and she couldn't blame him. The mess totally reeked.

"Oh God", Haley said tearfully. "Oh my God. I am so sorry. I…I didn't mean it. I'll clean this up. I'm sorry. I…"

"It's okay", Madonna interjected. "We'll have the custodians come in."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Haley. Really."

Humiliated, she walked out to compose herself and clean up. She felt like dying inside that bathroom and the embarrassment only deepened when the door opened and it was Madonna.

"You okay, kid?"

"Yeah…I'm fine. I'm sorry. I…I am so embarrassed. I don't know what happened in there."

"It's okay."

"That was so gross."

"I'm a mommy", Madonna shrugged. "Before my kids, yeah that would have totally grossed me out. But once you have children, things change. Hell, I've been sneezed on, peed on, puked on and pooped on. Nothing phases me right now."

"Thanks", Haley sheepishly smiled.

"No problem. I hope you feel better", she said as she left.

Wiping her face with a wet towel and searching her bag feverishly for a breath mint, Haley finally emerged. To her surprise, Chris was outside waiting.

"Hey. Um, what are you still doing here?"

"Making sure you were still alive", he quipped.

"That…oh God, that was so bad back there. I feel like a fool."

"Shit happens or in your case, puke."

"Chris…"

"What?"

"It's not funny", she pouted.

"I know. You feel any better?"

"Actually yeah. That's the funny thing about this whole morning sickness deal. First of all, the title is such a lie. It comes morning, noon or night and when it rains, it pours. You feel like you're going to die and then all of a sudden, just like that, it's over."

"Well, I heard hot tea and Saltine crackers are good for nausea and all that crap."

"Where'd you hear that, Dr. Keller?" she teased.

"I read it."

"Where?"

"In that book, you know, What To Expect When You're Expecting."

Haley had to laugh. She couldn't believe it.

"Chris, you read that? Oh my God. Why?"

"Because you're pregnant and neither one of us has been pregnant before so we need to know what to expect, right?"

She studied his face. As unbelievable as it was, she saw absolute sincerity.

"Yeah", she said softly. "I guess we do."

"Come on", Chris nodded. "Let me get you home. We can hang out and work on some music and maybe I could you dinner."

"Chris…"

"That is, if you want. I mean, it's no big deal", he shoved his hands in his pockets.

She just looked at him. Despite the fact that was still the same old argumentative, smart ass, arrogant Chris Keller, he had been nothing but a friend to her over the years, especially in the month she had revealed her pregnancy secret to him. She had to admit that he and Taylor had been helpful. Maybe he didn't know but it was a big deal. A very big deal.

"Okay. Sounds cool. What are you making me?" she teased.

"I got this really cool new recipe for rotisserie, honey glazed cat and…"

"Chris!" she playfully hit him.

"Just kidding", he smiled. "Whatever you want. How about North Carolina style pork chops?"

"With mashed potatoes and corn?" she asked hopefully.

"With mashed potatoes and corn. Whatever you want, Haley. Sound good?"

She gave him a grateful smile.

"Yeah…sounds great."


	72. The Inmate Runs The Asylum

"Wow, the house looks great", Peyton acknowledged. "Megan really outdid herself."

"I know. This is such a great house anyway. I just feel bad with her going through all this trouble to throw me a going away party when she's pregnant and has a million and one other things going on. But she insisted and who am I to turn down a great party? Especially when it's in my honor", Brooke smiled.

It was all happening so fast. After returning from Philadelphia she had immediately put in notice at her job and had begun making plans to move in with Lucas. It would be sad to leave Tree Hill but the town would always be home and it was a drive or plane ride away. She was looking forward to a new beginning.

Her friends had taken the news well. They would certainly miss her but were glad to finally see her admit and give in to her feelings for Lucas. Karen, in particular, was thrilled. She wanted her son to settle down and she had always had a warm, soft spot for Brooke.

When they broke the news to Nathan and Megan, the younger Scott man had reacted with his usual disinterest but Megan had been thrilled. She immediately threw herself into making plans for a going away gala and refused to take no for an answer. So the regular group, along with a few extras, had descended on the Charlotte residence to bid Brooke Davis farewell.

"I can't believe you're leaving me", Peyton pouted. "You're like my best friend in the whole world. Who am I gonna go shopping with and who's gonna drag me to the gym on the days I'm too lazy to go and who's gonna hold my hand when I get my Brazilian waxes?"

"Uh…Jake, maybe?" Brooke laughed.

"It's not funny."

"I know, I know but if you don't stop then you're gonna make me cry and my make up looks too good tonight for me to mess it all up and have raccoon eyes so let's save the kissing and crying for later."

"Sounds like a plan but we better get back. Meg is about to serve dinner."

"Good. I'm starved."

"Me too. Listen, Brooke, have you um, noticed anything weird about Megan?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. She's different. Not herself lately. I've been out of the whole Nathan/Haley/Megan drama loop so I wasn't sure if everything got resolved. I haven't talked to either of them since the wedding."

"Yeah. Um, everything is okay for now…I guess."

"You sure?"

"Yes…wait, a minute. I don't know. Look, from what Luke and I know, Nathan has been acting really weird lately. More weird than usual. Anyway, I asked Meg if everything is okay earlier this morning she put on her apron and June Cleaver smile and began preparing tonight's dinner, by hand, thank you very much. Anyway, I went to the mall to do some last minute shopping and lo and behold, I see Boytoy who was supposed to be at practice but whatever. So I run out of the store to say hi but I didn't want to pull a Winona so I had to get back in line and pay for my lingerie, which I scored some pretty hot bras. And that one little crotchless number? It's gonna knock Broody's socks off."

"Brooke! Get on with the story. You know, Nathan. We can discuss your bras and panties later."

"Fine but where was I? Oh yeah. So I'm looking in all the stores and I finally track him down in the music store. I'm thinking he's going to buy some more rap CD's for those obnoxious speakers of his that are so loud, practically every window in Tree Hill rattles when he comes to town. But I see him in the Adult Contemporary section. And guess what he was buying? I'll tell you. The Haley James Collection. That's right. All of Tutor Wife's records."

Peyton gasped.

"Are you kidding me? Oh God. What did he say when he saw you?"

"Like I stuck around. I made like Michael Jackson and beat it. There was no way I was going to let him see me. Especially since he's been all moody lately. I seriously vote him next in line to go postal."

"Speaking of Nathan, where the hell is he? That's one face I haven't seen all day."

"Who has? And Luke and I have been in town since yesterday and I can tell you in minutes the times we've seen him."

"Poor Meg."

"Tell me about. It must be awful but every time you see her, she has that tight, fake pageant smile plastered on her face. You'd think she was married to Dick Van Dyke or something."

"Dinner! Time to eat, everyone", Megan yelled sweetly, as if on cue.

Peyton and Brooke exchanged looks and filed out to the dining area where everyone was assembled. Megan, whose bump was now showing, looked beautiful in a dark green maternity pantsuit that was covered by an apron. Hair and make up was perfect like usual and her smile was broad, almost cartoon like. She moved down the large table stopping at each seat to serve her guests much like a flight attendant.

"Beef or chicken?" she smiled. "Scalloped, baked or mashed potatoes? Butter with your roll?"

"What in the hell?" Brooke muttered into Luke's ear.

Once everyone was served, she insisted they all hold hands and join in saying grace. Then she took her place.

"Dinner is delicious", Karen commented. "And the place settings are gorgeous."

"Thank you. I was dying to take lessons from one of the chefs in town and my Nathan set it all up for my birthday."

"Well, it's certainly paying off", Keith grinned as he gobbled his food. "And where is that nephew of mine? Practice running late?"

Dan shot Keith a glare.

"Jules, can you instruct that drunken glut you call a husband to stop talking with his mouth full?"

Megan smiled and ignored her father in law.

"He had some things to take care of. Everything is going so well this season. As you all may have seen, he scored a triple double the other night. And he's had several press conferences and endorsement offers and he's even participating in a program reading to underprivileged children."

Brooke wrinkled her nose. To hear Megan tell it, Nathan was the patron saint of North Carolina but all she'd seen in 36 hours, what little she had seen was an aloof, unhappy drunk.

"Well, that's good", Jules smiled. "Glad to hear everything is going well. You two must be so excited about the baby. We were all thrilled to hear about your pregnancy."

"We're so excited. Nathan and I were just talking about painting the nursery but we want to wait and know the sex of the baby first."

"I'm glad he's taking such a hands on approach."

"Oh he's going to be a terrific dad", Megan plugged.

"He learned from the best", Dan added smugly.

There were giggles stifled as Karen began to choke on her food.

"Well, we can't wait to see him", Jules sighed.

Like by magic, he appeared. He was scruffy and still in his practice gear. Everyone spoke and a smiling Megan and Deb looked particularly happy to see him.

"What's up?" he muttered to everyone, not even looking up as he bounced a dirty basketball on the freshly scrubbed floors.

Dan just shook his head as his son headed for the stairs.

"Nathan, sweetie, don't you remember tonight is Brooke's going away?" his wife reminded him. "Why don't you come say good bye?"

"Bye", he said as he walked.

"Nathan…"

"What? Meg, we'll see her again."

"I know but come sit and have dinner. I made it myself and I made a lot of your favorites as well."

"Alright", he shrugged, plopping down. "Can you make me a plate?"

"Of course", she said, already up.

"Is something the matter with your arms and legs?" Brooke said loudly in between bites of food as Lucas gently kicked her underneath the table.

Megan dutifully prepared a plate for her husband and filled his glass with water. He ignored it and reached for an ice cold beer. He ate and didn't bother to join in the conversation. A half hour and two beers later, he had sunken into his chair resembling more of a pouting schoolboy than a star professional athlete. With a somber look on his face, he had used his utensils to build a "mountain" out of his uneaten mashed potatoes.

His odd behavior and excessive drinking did not go unnoticed by their guests. Almost everyone seemed to stare on except Megan who happily chatted as if nothing were out of the ordinary. Dan was seething and squirming in his seat.

"Son, please!" he finally admonished.

"What?" Nathan asked, offended. "It's my plate, my food."

"Well, stop making a mess out of it."

"What are you going to do, ground me?"

"Actually, I'd like to knock you out, son."

"Well, that's the beauty about this being my house, Dad. You don't get to ground me or knock me out but I can tell you to leave. So get to stepping, Danny Boy."

"What?"

"Nathan, honey, please. Why don't you go upstairs? I'll be up in a minute and start your shower. I'll bring you another beer."

"Whatever", he got up still bouncing his ball.

There was a big silence. No one quite knew what to say.

"Forgive him, he's a little cranky. I'll be right back…"

"Megan, what are you doing?" Brooke asked.

"I'll be right back. I just want to check on my husband and get him settled."

Everyone looked at their plates or the floor as Brooke laughed out loud.

"Are you joking? We must be on Candid Camera right now or either the aliens came down and kidnapped your brain. What are you doing?"

"Excuse me?"

"First of all, you're pregnant. As grateful as I am, you didn't have to throw this party for me, you didn't have to make everything from scratch and now you sure as hell shouldn't be doing everything for Nathan. He should be starting your shower. And another beer? I think we're all in agreement that's the last thing he needs."

"Oh shit", Peyton muttered softly.

"Well, not that it's any of your business, Brooke but I find it quite amusing that you're in a position to give relationship advice considering a few weeks ago you were still pining over Lucas and the fact that he dumped you for Peyton seven years ago."

"Whoa, leave me out of this, dude", Peyton threw her hands up.

"You dated Uncle Luke, Mom?" Jenny asked, confused.

"Eat your peas, Jen", Jake instructed.

Brooke's mouth fell open.

"Oh. No. You. Didn't."

"Oh yes, I did and what are you going to do about it? Nothing. Know why? Because I was nice enough to invite you into my home and do this for you and you repay me with your snooty, snobby, holier than thou bitchiness…"

"No, Meg, I'm not being a bitch, I'm being honest."

"Well, I'd like to be honest with you, too, Brooke. I no longer want you in my house. Please leave."

"Fine with me", Brooke threw down her dinner napkin and grabbed Lucas' hand. "Come on, Broody. We're out of here."

"Um, maybe we all should go", Karen suggested. "It's late and it's been a long day. Meg, I'm sure you must be tired and…"

"Don't you patronize me."

The shy but friendly blonde had turned into a mad woman.

"Sweetie, I'm not patronizing you. I just…"

"Just what? Feel sorry for me? Oh poor Meg is cracking up. I guess I can't handle the pressure like Haley did."

Everyone gasped at the mention of the name.

"Meg…"

"What? You guys all love her and Haley is the greatest thing since sliced bread and everybody in this room wanted Nathan to be with her.

"Not me", Dan smirked.

"Of course not. Sometimes I think you're my only ally. Well, I've had enough. I am doing the best I can and if you all are going to stand around criticizing me then you can all go and fuck yourselves", she yelled as she burst into tears and ran off.

Everyone just sat there dumbfounded. Their suspicions and fears had been confirmed but it turned out to be worse than they all thought. Something was seriously wrong in the Scott household and it was obvious the newest Mrs. Scott was at the end of her rope.


	73. Mom's The Word

**_Autjor's Note: Shauna, Google Bethany Joy Lenz and keep check on her official site as well as the joie luck club. The CD should be for sale very soon. I got mine at the concert._**

Megan maneuvered her car into the winding driveway of her parents' estate. She parked and got out, making sure to adjust the shades over her puffy, swollen eyes even though there wasn't a hint of sun in the cloudy fall sky. The last thing she had wanted to do was attend some political fundraising luncheon hosted by a series of uppity politician's wives but her presence was expected and Megan Powell Scott was never one to disappoint. She always did the right thing, what was expected of her.

She walked inside the house to find her mother sorting out old clothing and household goods to be donated to the local Salvation Army.

"Sweetie, you made it", Laurie smiled looking at her oldest daughter.

"Hi, Mom."

"Just let me finish with these boxes and I can go get dressed. I'm going to drop these off on the way over, if you don't mind."

Megan sat and removed her glasses.

"That's fine."

For the first time she really noticed Megan's appearance. Pregnancy and the little pink sundress definitely agreed with her but her face told a different story. Her eyes were sad and there was evidence of tears. Her skin was ghostly pale and she looked exhausted.

"Honey, is everything okay?"

"Yes…no, actually, Mom, I was thinking…do we really have to go to that luncheon today?"

"Are you sick? Is it the baby?"

"No, no, nothing like that but I just don't feel like being around a lot of people right now."

"Well, that's no excuse. Meg, sometimes in life we have to do things we really don't want to do. But we do them anyway. Now people expect to see is this afternoon. Besides, it's very important to your father."

Megan rolled her eyes. It was a dead end argument.

"Okay, okay. Fine, Mom. I'll go."

Laurie sensed the agitation.

"Is everything okay with you?"

"I said I'm fine."

"Well, you really don't look well, dear. Have you been getting enough sleep? Are you eating properly?"

Megan looked away. God, if she only knew the truth.

"Does it matter anyway? I mean, who cares what happens to me?"

A concerned Laurie put down the items and joined her child on the couch.

"Megan Lindsay Powell Scott! Why on earth would you say a thing like that? I care. And so does your father and brothers and sister. And your husband cares."

"I doubt that", she spat.

"Are you and Nathan having problems? Megan, it's not uncommon for these first few months to be a little shaky. They say the first year of marriage is always the toughest."

"I want a divorce", Megan blurted out.

Laurie, the perfect wife and mother, the beautiful, devoutly Catholic bride of a politician gasped out loud.

"What?"

"You heard me, Mom."

"Surely my ears must be deceiving me. Megan, what is going on with you? Just because there are a few kinks…"

"Kinks?" she laughed out loud. "Mom, please! I am miserable, okay? Everyday I put on this happy front like everything is picture perfect when really behind our closed doors, it's a nightmare. I am not happy and Nathan isn't happy. We hardly ever talk or spend time together anymore. He's never home."

"Darling, in his defense, look at his profession. Nathan is a very busy young man. You knew that when you married him."

"Yes, I know his schedule can be hectic and breaks are far and few in between. But what about the times when he's not on the road? Or after home games or practices? Times when he could be home. Times when he could be with me. But he's not there."

"Well, where is he?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. And I don't think it matters to him. He'd just rather be anywhere than where is he supposed to be."

"That can't be true."

"Well it is. Stop defending him because you're not in our house and you don't see the way things are. He drinks from sun up to sun down. He's moody and rude and distant. And with the exception of this pregnancy, he has no interest in me or what I'm doing at all."

"Megan…"

"I'm like his personal little incubator."

"Have you tried talking to him?"

"Of course. It does no good. I've tried ignoring it and giving him his space and being nice to him and pleading with and even yelling at him but none of it seems to matter. He has this wall up and I can't break through it, Mom, no matter how hard I try."

"You just have to be patient. He's under a lot of pressure right now."

"So am I."

"I understand that but when the baby is born…"

"Then what? You're telling me it's going to get better? Is it? Because I'm not so sure. What if it doesn't? God forbid, what if it just gets worse? Then what?"

"You have to be patient and you have to try harder but divorce is not a solution, young lady. You took vows before God. The institute of marriage is sacred. Just because things aren't perfect…"

"Perfect? Oh they are anything but perfect, far from it. But what would you know about that?"

"I don't like your tone, Megan. I am still your mother. You will not raise your voice or disrespect me."

"You don't get it…"

"No, you're the one who doesn't seem to get it. Marriage is not always about perfection and hearts and flowers and lovemaking. There are rough waters and trying times and sacrifices to be made. You think I haven't been there? You think your father is perfect?"

Megan raised an eyebrow. As far as she was concerned, her father was perfect or at least as close as it got. And if she had one word to describe her parents' union, it would be joyous.

"Mom, what are you talking about?"

"I love your father very much. He's a good man. We've been married almost thirty years. There have been good times and not so good time but I wouldn't trade a single moment of our lives. Even when things were at their worst, I never gave up hope or lost my faith and I never stopped being a good and dutiful wife."

"You love, Daddy, Mom. I know that. And he loves you. Despite anything that might have ever happened, you know in your heart that he really loved you."

"Yes."

She shook her head fighting back more tears.

"What if you didn't have that? Because, um…I…I, I don't know if I do."

"Of course Nathan loves you."

"Nathan loves me because he knows I love him. He loves me because I'm there for him. He loves me because I am carrying our child. He loves me because I'm safe and familiar. But what if there was someone else?"

"Is he having an affair?" Laurie asked carefully.

"No. I don't think so. But he may as well be. Sometimes you don't have to cheat with your body. If his heart and mind are somewhere else, then isn't that the same thing?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Haley."

"His ex wife? That distasteful young woman who had the nerve to interrupt your wedding and humiliate our family?"

"That's the one", she sighed.

"I wouldn't worry about her. She walked out on him a long time ago and if you ask me, she did him a huge favor. Worldly women like that have no values or class or sense of morals. Her actions make that more than obvious. She walked out on him, Meg not even a year after marriage. What does that tell you about her sense of loyalty or commitment? Nathan chose you. He married you. Besides, they were only together for a short while and that was years ago."

"But what if he's still in love with her? What if I'm the mistake?"

"You're being absolutely ridiculous, Megan?"

"Am I? Because I feel like there are three people in this marriage."

"Well, what are you going to do, Meg? Divorce him? Go against the church and God and everything you've been taught? Disappoint your father and me and bring shame you yourself and your child?"

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"Whatever it takes."

"I've tried everything."

"Well, try harder. Don't give up on him. Your father and I did not raise a quitter. You be there for him. Stand by his side. Love him. Give him the home and family he needs. And if he wants to have a drink or two or he doesn't want to come home every night or talk, then give him his space. It's a phase and he'll grow out of it. But absolutely no more talk of divorce! Do you hear me? And quit nagging at him before you drive him away. He's a good man and he does love you. Right now he's just being a man."

"Mom…"

"He loves you, Megan. You know that. He loves you so much."

"Then why doesn't it feel that way? Why does it feel like he loves Haley?"

"Whatever feelings he may have for this woman, just like the alcohol, will in time go away. You just have to prove to him the kind of wife you are. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Pretty soon she'll just be another bad memory. But you don't give up on your marriage."

Megan wiped at tears.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Mom", she sobbed. "What to say or think or feel. It's like I'm losing it, like I'm cracking up. I feel like I'm holding onto him by a thread. And it feels like it would maybe be a big relief for both us if just one of had the guts to speak the truth and let it go but every time I come close, I just can't because I love him. I want him and our child and this perfect, happy little life together just like we planned. When it was good between us, it was really good. I can't even describe how happy I was or how great we were together. Now that they're bad, they're horrible. But as awful as it gets, just the thought of the good times is enough to make me want to hold on. I want Nathan but I want him to want me too. I don't want to raise this baby alone."

"You won't. He isn't going anywhere. It's just a tough time", Laurie held her. "It will pass. I promise you."

"Mom…you think he still loves me?"

"Of course he does."

"Then why is there someone else? Why does Haley James' ghost continue to haunt our relationship? Why is she still in his heart and mind?"

Laurie sighed as she stroked her daughter's silky blonde locks. With a pained expression she thought back to some of her own less than desirable experiences, instances and details she would and could never ever share with another soul. But she had gotten through it…and so would Megan. Her marriage had survived and so would her daughter's.

"Great men have great flaws and faults, Megan", she sighed. "It's just in their bumbling male nature, I guess. And you have to take the good with the bad. It's just a way of life. And only women like us can understand that."


	74. A Glimpse Into The Future

Haley stared in awe at the beautiful bundle of joy safely nestled in his blue receiving blanket. His tiny little fingers outstretched as he yawned, a tuff of dark hair covering his smooth head. He was a precious sight to behold.

"You want to hold him, Haley?"

"No thanks", she shook her head quickly.

"He is so sweet", Taylor cooed. "Can I hold him?"

Michelle nodded and handed her newborn son over to the girl. Taylor cuddled him close as she walked around with him.

"Who would have known your sister was so good with babies?" Michelle smiled.

"She has her moments", Haley rolled her eyes. "He is a little sweetheart, though. How was it?"

"Labor?"

"Yeah."

Michelle cringed at the memory as she pulled her dark hair into messy bun.

"Honestly? Horrible. All the bad stuff you see on TV with the screaming? Well, it's definitely true. You don't know pain until you try pushing something the size of a bowling ball out of something the size of an apple, trust me."

"Ouch", Haley said, her knees coming together out of reflex.

"Yeah it hurt and it sucked and at the time I was screaming at Teddy and calling him every son of a bitch in the book but the moment he was born…God, Haley, I can't describe it. The pain and the exhaustion just disappeared and all of a sudden I'm holding my son in my arms. I couldn't stop crying. It was the best feeling ever. I just held him and looked in his eyes and kissed him and I knew I was holding someone I was gonna love for the rest of my life."

Michelle's eyes lit up just recalling the story. Haley listened intently as it brought tears to her eyes as well.

"I'm sorry", she said, reaching for a Kleenex.

"Dude, you okay? I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, no. It's not you, Michelle. It's me. I'm sorry. I've been a little crazy lately."

"It's okay. You want to talk about it?"

"Nah. I'm fine. It's just stuff."

"Is it Chris again? Don't let him get to you. And if the record company is giving you shit about getting back in the studio, let them know if it's too early. God, with everything that has happened to you this summer everyone would totally understand that you need some time."

"No…it's not that. It's not Chris or anybody at Maverick or anything like that. It's um…it's…I, I'm pregnant", she blurted out.

Michelle's eyes widened.

"Pregnant? Oh my God! I…I had no idea. How far along are you?"

"Three months."

"Wow. Congratulations, I guess?"

She managed a smile.

"I guess. I'm just dealing with the new reality."

"Yeah, it's weird at first. Your body goes through so many crazy changes. But it's really cool. It's a miracle, a gift from God."

"I know it's supposed to be but I don't know…"

"What's wrong?"

"When did it become real for you, Michelle? Know what I mean? Was it the positive test or the first doctor's visit or feeling him move or the sonograms? What?"

"It's real but surreal. But as more time passes and the bigger you get and the more the baby grows…then you feel it kick inside you and you get to watch the ultrasounds…it becomes more real and more exciting and just beautiful."

Haley wiped away more tears.

"It's just…I don't know."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. Because I don't…I don't feel very maternal, you know? I'm not excited and I…I feel bad because I don't have this bond with my baby. And I read all those stupid books and most women start having all these instincts and feelings right away and I don't feel any of that. Is that bad? Am I like this awful, awful person?"

"No, it's not bad. It doesn't make you a horrible person. It just takes getting used to, especially when you don't exactly plan for it. But it's gonna be okay, if you're sure this is what you want. Is it, Haley? Is having this baby something you really want to do right now?"

"I don't know. I'm confused. I've made my decision, I just hope it's the right one. I'm just so scared, you know?"

"It's okay to be scared sometimes. But you're going to be alright. And you're going to be a great mom."

"I hope so. I hope I can handle motherhood and the career and just everything."

"Do you…God, I don't want to get in your business but do you have support? You know, from like the father."

"Um…no. Right now he's not a part of our lives. But I have Taylor and Chris and my parents and my other family. And I've made some good friends here in New York so…"

"And you have me", Michelle took her hand.

"Thanks."

"I mean it. Whatever you need, I'm here for you. I mean that, Haley. It's going to be okay. I'll help you get through this."

"That means a lot."

"Maybe we can do lunch in a couple of weeks. Then we can go shopping and work on the nursery if you'd like."

"Sounds good", Haley sniffled. "Um, if you don't mind, I'd like to keep this a secret for as long as I can and…"

"Say no more. Your secret is safe with me."

"Oh God!" Taylor screamed as she ran back in the room. "Gross! Michelle, come here!"

"What's the matter?"

"I was changing his diaper and he peed in my face! Yuck! Help! Come get your little monster!"

"Monster?" Michelle laughed as she took her son. "What happened to him being an innocent, beautiful bundle of joy?"

"He was before he pissed all over me!" Taylor yelled from the bathroom where she feverishly scrubbed her face.

Haley looked at Taylor and just laughed. Sighing, she eyed the little baby cooing beside her in his mother's arms.

"You want to hold him?"

Haley took a deep breath.

"I…I don't know."

"It's okay", Michelle said.

Haley reluctantly took the little boy into her embrace. She held him close to her bosom and smiled as he nestled into her. He was so beautiful and the moment was so pure. At that moment she looked in his eyes and saw what was to be her future.


	75. Walk A Mile In My Shoes

From his VIP courtside seat behind the visiting Bobcats bench, Dan Scott watched the game with white knuckled interest. He had surprised his youngest son by flying down to New Orleans to watch Charlotte take on the Hornets. Not just in his own mind, apparently the elder Scott was a bit of a legend. In North Carolina he was well known for his athleticism and scoring records both in high school and college. He was the Great White Hope, the good looking golden boy who was supposed to go all the way to the pros. But an injury had dashed his hopes. An injury he turned out not to have.

But the world was not aware. As far as anyone knew, he was the sports hero who'd had his dreams snatched away in the cruelest twist of fate. He was a champion who had persevered, grudgingly accepting destiny's defeat and for that the fans would always hold a special place in their heart's for him. Now he was once again in glory's blinding limelight for a different reason. He was the patriarch for a new dynasty. The proud papa of two of the NBA's newest and brightest shining stars.

His presence in the stand always attracted attention, awareness that he thrived in. As soon as the players hit the floor and Nathan looked up, he scowled. His father was one surprise he hadn't counted on or anticipated.

By halftime the Bobcats were up by a decent 12 points and Nathan led the way with impressive stats of 17 points, 6 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 steals and a block. He was playing hard with a newfound aggression but for Dan it wasn't enough. It was never enough. It wasn't what Nathan had done but what the careless fouls he had committed, the missed shots from the free throw line he had missed and the unnecessary technical he had acquired at the bottom of the first quarter.

Nevertheless his handsome but still smug grin was on full display as the reporter from ESPN and camera man made their way over to him.

"As the third quarter begins, we are pleased to be joined by Dan Scott, a basketball phenom in his own day who now proudly watches not one but two NBA star sons from the stands, tonight in particular, the Point Guard from Charlotte, the Bocats' own, Nathan Scott. Thanks for talking to us, Dan."

"My pleasure as always", he looked right into the camera.

"Your youngest son has put up some impressive numbers tonight. As a former college Defensive Player of the Year, did you have any pointers for him before the game?"

"Just what I always tell him and what I've been saying since he was a little boy. Nate is a great player, love and knowledge of the game combine with raw talent and superior physical ability. He plays hard every time and I tell him to make it difficult for the other team."

"Both of your sons played remarkable last year as rookies. Now that they are in their sophomore seasons, how does it feel to sit on the sidelines and see what they are accomplishing?"

"I admire what they have done. Anyone in this profession that doesn't is silly. What father wouldn't? Lucas and Nathan play the right way and do all the things to give their respective teams a chance to win. They respect the game. I marvel at the fact that they have been able to that over such a short period of time. It's not easy to win when you are expected to win. Both boys have accomplished many great things over their high school, college and now professional careers. It is no accident that the 76ers and Bobcats are two teams that will definitely be on top this year, in my mind."

"Well, they call you Dapper Dan and you have certainly earned that nickname tonight in this tailored suit but the last time we saw you, you were more relaxed in your jeans and tee shirt. Is this a new Dan Scott we're seeing? Another style?"

"Definitely not, Jim", he joked. "I'm dapper no matter what you put me in but I promise you, I'll always be the same Dan…just in a different suit."

"The incomparable Dan Scott, everyone. Thank you for your time, sir."

"Thank you."

His grin didn't last for long as the tempo of the game drastically changed. If the Bobcats were still in control their fearless leader wasn't. Foolish shot attempts and sloppy ball handling. His frustration was visible and all would be lost at the top of the fourth when he was called for a flagrant foul.

"Unnecessary roughness on number 23, Scott."

The game was close and that was the fifth foul called on him, putting the Charlotte Star in late foul trouble.

"Ref! What the fuck? Are you fucking blind? He bumped into me! I barely touched his ass!"

"Call was made, son."

"Yeah a bullshit call, you stupid motherfucker!"

The other teammates ran to grab him.

"Watch it, Scott…"

"Or what?"

The referee blew his whistle.

"That's it. Second technical. Scott, you're out of here."

The crowd roared. Nathan Scott had been ejected from the game.

"What the fuck, asshole? You can't throw me out of this goddamned game! Fuck you! I'm not going anywhere!"

"Scott, you've got five seconds to get in that locker room or face indefinite suspension."

The coaches and the trainers rushed to keep a bad situation from worsening as they convinced Nathan to go to the back. On the way, still yelling and cursing, he tore off his jersey and tossed it to the floor, kicking over a huge cooler of water to add insult to injury. A fuming Dan lingered behind to see Charlotte lose by four points.

But Nathan didn't care. He wasn't interested in his father's words or the words of his coach and teammates or the media. He just wanted to get away. Not bothering to shower or wait until the end, he had a taxi whisk him back to the hotel. Once in his room, he popped open a can of Malt Liquor as he searched for something interesting on TV. He settled for the Classic Cartoon Network.

When there was a pounding at the door, he didn't even bother to check the peephole. He knew full well who it was. Who else would it be?

"Father! Welcome to my humble temporary abode. What do I owe the honor?"

"Shut your trap, Boozy", he pushed his way in the door. "I swear you're giving that uncle Keith of yours a run for his money."

"Oh you're one to talk but it's nice to see you too, man", he smiled.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I'm fine, Dad. Really. Never been better."

"Look at you. You're a stumbling, slobbering, sniveling, stinking mess. Look at you. Losing your temper at the game like that? Nice going, dummy. You cost your team the game."

"I'm sick of carrying those losers. It's about time they picked up the slack and quit waiting for me to lead their sorry asses to the promised land. What the fuck am I, Moses?"

"Right now you're a pathetic excuse for a human being. All you can do is sit here and drink beer?"

"Technically it's Malt Liquor but…"

"Don't get cute with me, son. You're running your life."

"Spare me the lecture."

"Someone needs to lecture you. You've been on a downward spiral ever since that girl reappeared."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know damned well what I'm talking about. She almost cost you everything once before and you still haven't learned your lesson."

"Look, don't even take it there, man", Nathan said with tight lips and clenched fists.

"What? Are you gonna tell me you still love her?"

"That's none of your goddamned business."

Dan laughed.

"But you did fuck her again, right?"

"What?"

"Oh come on. The Old Man isn't that stupid. You two stranded on Gilligan's Island thinking you were in your last days. You tell me you didn't give in to passion?"

"Dad…"

Nathan couldn't look at his father.

"I don't get you, son. You're willing to piss everything away for some girl."

"She was my wife, Dad!"

"Well, what about your wife now? Or have you forgotten about that. Jesus, Nate! What does Haley have over you? Huh? She's mousy and not that pretty and she's got legs like baseball bats."

"Dad!"

"You have a beautiful, loving, sophisticated, classy jewel of a wife now who, for reasons only known to God, puts up with you and loves your ass. You willing to throw that all away?"

"No, Dad, I guess I'm not…just like you weren't."

"What does that mean?"

"Choosing Mom when you really loved Karen?"

"I loved your mother but there were bigger issues at hand", he answered smugly.

"Like money and needing someone to finance your future."

"I did what I had to do. It all worked out in the end, didn't it?"

"Did it really?"

"You tell me. Was your childhood really that bad? You had everything you ever wanted or needed. You had wealth and privilege, a life most people would kill for but you flushed it all away for that River Rat. Now you're traveling down that same path. Don't do it, son. Don't be foolish. Don't give all this up."

"What Dad? The money? The fame? Well, all this shit we have, the houses and the money and the cars and the vacations…that's not everything!"

"Now you sound as stupid as your mother", he smirked.

"Whatever, man."

"You better get a grip and quick, Nate. You need to straighten up. Life isn't always about what we want but rather what we have to do. Don't ever lose sight of the big picture."

"You know, before all this happened to me, I never quite understood how you could be so selfish. When it came to your life and your choices…Lucas and Karen. Everyday I used to wonder."

"I guess now you know."

"Yeah", he said bitterly. "I guess I do."

"It's easy to have all the answers from a distance. But everybody makes decisions they regret. Me. Your mother. Haley. But we learn to live with it. It's part of life."

Nathan played with his beer can.

"Maybe it's a part of your life but uh…I don't know if it has to be a part of mine."

"You're a stupid young man, you know that? I felt like you once but I grew up, Nathan. Think about what you're doing. Use your head and not your heart. Trust me, the brain will carry you a lot further. Think of your life and your child and your future. Think about Megan. All she has done for you and what she really means to you. The love and support and loyalty. The life you're supposed to have. And think about what Haley did. She's poison, Nathan. Sometimes people come into our lives and even though we might want them there or think we love them, we become less of a person because of their presence. All Haley has ever done is brought turmoil and mayhem and chaos. We all have to make choices. I made mine and God knows I don't regret them. I did what I had to do for you and for me. One day I woke up and I was looking down the barrel of a life I couldn't control. Maybe you find yourself in the same situation. I just thought you could use some advice. I can see that you're scared. But don't let that fear cloud your vision. Fear or love or stupidity. Live your life and make the best decisions for that life no matter how warped or devious or selfish that might be. It'll make a man out of you yet, son", Dan said as he helped himself to the mini bar, then raised his glass in a toast to his youngest. "It did me."


	76. The Perfect Day

"How are we doing today, Mrs. Scott?" Dr. Zierke asked as he washed his hands and put on rubber gloves.

"Fine, thank you", Megan answered politely as she tried to relax on the examining table.

"You are here today for your 17 week routine check up?" he verified.

"Yes."

"And everything has been going okay? Nothing too out of the ordinary?"

"Um, I'm fine, it's just that with the books I've been reading and all, they say I should have been able to feel the baby kicking by now…and I haven't. Um, I was just wondering if that's normal. Is everything okay?"

"Depending on the size and position of the fetus, it varies the exact timeframe when the mother can feel the fetal movements. Just because you don't feel it, doesn't mean it isn't happening but we'll check the heart rate and then do an ultrasound to see what's going on."

"Thank you", she said nervously as he called in the female assistant.

Megan wished she had her Rosary beads as she mouthed a silent prayer. Her baby had to be okay.

"Just relax, Mrs. Scott", Erin, the nurse soothed her.

Megan took a deep breath as they lifted her shirt and exposed the growing bump of her middle. She closed her eyes and jumped, startled as the door to the private examining room burst open. Mandy, the receptionist smiled.

"Sorry to interrupt but I found someone roaming the halls. Does he belong to you, Mrs. Scott?"

Megan looked up. To her surprise, it was her husband.

"Nathan! Oh my God. What…what are you doing here?"

"I didn't want to miss the appointment", he said, hands shoved inside the practice shorts he was still wearing.

She couldn't believe it. Over the past few months, he had barely seemed to be aware of her very existence. She was literally blown away that he had been listening when she had mentioned the Obstetrics appointment.

"Well, come in, Mr. Scott. We're pleased to have you join us today. I'm Dr. Zierke. It's nice to finally meet you."

They shook hands and Nathan awkwardly stood by his wife.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"I'm better…now that you're here. I can't believe you came. What about practice?"

"Practice can wait", he said. "This is more important."

Hearing him speak those words, then proving them with his actions made her feel an amazing sense of security she hadn't felt in a long time. She couldn't take her eyes off her husband's handsome face, oblivious to everything going on around her…that is until she heard it.

"There you go", the doctor grinned.

"Is that…"

"That is your baby's heartbeat, Mr. Scott."

Nathan and Megan looked at each other in awe as the loud, steady noise mesmerized their attention. It was real. Of course it had been real all along but this made it even more real. The sound was tangible, solid proof along with her expanding waistline that there indeed was a child they had created together.

"Oh my God", she whispered. "It's so strong."

"Fetal heart rate is normal. Now Mrs. Scott, please forgive me for cold hands and cold lubricant but it is needed to perform the ultrasound. If you and your husband will turn your attention to that monitor over there, in a few seconds we should be able to get our first look at Baby Scott."

The couple waited an anxious few seconds then sure enough the screen displayed the fuzzy image. The picture wasn't clear but something was moving and it was their baby.

"Everything looks great. Physical development is good for the gestational period. There is the heartbeat right there, and that's the head and the outline of the body and there's the feet and an arm right there…"

"Where's the other arm?" Nathan asked in a frightened tone.

The doctor and nurse laughed.

"Right there. It isn't extended. Your baby is sucking its thumb."

Tears of joy spilled down Megan's cheeks.

"Look", she pointed. "That's our little baby, Nate."

He couldn't peel his eyes away. It was the first time he was seeing his beloved child. It was nothing more than a funny looking fuzzy image on a computer but already he was in love.

"Mr. and Mrs. Scott, would you like to know the sex of your baby?"

"You can tell already just by looking at that?" Nathan wrinkled his nose.

"Yes", Dr. Zierke chuckled.

Nathan and Megan looked at each other for a moment.

"No", the both said in unison.

"Meg, if you want to…"

"It's okay, Nate", she smiled. "Let it be a surprise."

He nodded, staring at her. She was absolutely glowing and he had missed that contagious, mile wide grin on her face. A stray, blonde curl of hair had fallen into her face and he lovingly brushed it aside. She reached up and grabbed his hand, interlocking her own into it, rubbing the fingers gently. They have each other a smile…a real smile.

The appointment went as well as to be expected. Mother and child were in perfect health. The mood was good and lighthearted as Nathan waited outside for Megan to dress. She was once again stunned when she found him standing next to her car.

"Hey. Um, don't you have to get back?"

Nathan shrugged.

"Coach won't mind. What about you? You going back to work?"

"That was the plan."

"Well plans change", he grinned.

"What?"

"There's a great little Vietnamese place around the corner. I know I haven't been much of a husband lately but I was wondering if you'd have lunch with me anyway."

He looked like a shy little boy. But she had never been able to resist those baby blue eyes before.

"Okay", she nodded. "Um, I'll follow you over."

She trailed behind him in her vehicle a few streets over where they parked in the lot and he helped her out of the car and into the building. They were ushered to a corner booth in the near deserted restaurant, making small talk until the food finally came out.

"Mmmmm", she said, looking down at the feast for two in front of her.

"Maybe I shouldn't have let you order for me", he joked. "What is all this?"

"The chicken salad is called Goi Ga and all that stuff in it is just white cabbage, carrots, onions, and cilantro with a peanut topping. That is squid sautéed with mushrooms and broccoli. Try the soup, babe. It's spicy sour and it's really good."

"I'll take your word for it", he dug in.

He watched her eat, knowing the nutrients going into her body were for his child. From the minute he had found out she was pregnant, for Nathan it had been all about the baby. Now he was seeing things in a different light. Megan was a huge part of the process. She was the mother of their child…and she was his wife. Not only did he love the baby, he loved her for having it.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" she laughed.

"Huh?"

"You're staring. Do I have food all over my face or something?"

"No", he said quietly. "You're beautiful."

She blushed as she hadn't heard those words come out of his mouth in what felt like forever. They finished their meal in comfortable silence and he paid the tab. It was still fairly early when they exited the place. Neither drove back to work but found themselves heading home in their respective cars. Tired, Megan headed upstairs to the master bedroom for a nap. After blundering around downstairs for a few minutes, Nathan joined her.

"Listen, I know you have to go soon but I really wanted to thank you for being there today, Nathan. That was really great."

"I should be thanking you", he sighed. "Hearing the heartbeat and seeing the pictures…that was pretty incredible."

"I know", she smiled.

"It got me thinking. I should have been there for that Meg and I should have been there for the other appointments and I should be there for the rest of them. I will. I promise you that. I know I haven't been acting like it but I do care and I'm gonna try harder."

"Okay", she nodded.

"I…I love you, Meg."

"I love you, too", she said softly.

He leaned down to kiss her and she met his lips with her own. It felt so good to be in his arms again like that. Her right arm encircled the back of his neck, drawing him to her. Gently he balanced his weight on top, his lips never leaving hers. It was nice. It was familiar. It felt natural. They hadn't been that way in a long time. For the first time in a long time, Nathan didn't have to force anything. His body reacted to her kisses and touches.

She removed her maternity blouse and camisole, exposing the rounded, smooth flesh. He touched it, the sacred place that cocooned his precious son or daughter.

"Nathan", she whispered. "Make love to me."

He just looked at her for a moment, not sure what to do or say.

"Are you sure it's okay? You know, for the baby, I mean."

"Dr. Zierke says it's fine."

Nathan nodded.

"Meg…"

She stroked the side of his face tenderly.

"I need it, babe. It's been so long. I want you."

He looked into her blue eyes and saw a cloud of lust hidden behind love, passion, emotional need and want. He saw the person that had always been there for him. He saw the mother of his child. He saw his wife.

"I want you, too", he breathed.

He finished disrobing her and himself, covering her quivering body with gentle caresses. They sighed and moaned as they pleasured each other. It had been a while but neither had forgotten the little tricks, the sensual hot spots that, with a little attention, drove the other wild. Then, with his hands all over her body and their eyes locked, he slowly entered her. Megan whimpered out loud, her nails digging into the skin of his shoulders. He held her tightly and found a slow but steady rhythm pumping in and out of her. He had forgotten what it was like to have his eyes fixated on hers as they made love. He had forgotten what it was like to make love.

After an hour or so, when he was sure she had reached her release, he allowed himself to climax deep inside her. He buried his head in her damp but sweet smelling chest and she rubbed his head.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine", she nodded.

"You sure? Is your stomach okay?"

"Yeah."

"Then why are you crying?" he asked.

"I'm just happy", she shrugged. "I just feel so happy right now. Everything at this moment right now is so perfect. God, I wish all our lives would be this way. I feel like I finally have everything I want. The baby is healthy and now you…"

"I'm healthy", he joked.

"No, babe. I'm serious. You…well, I finally feel like you're back. It's like you went away somewhere for a while and I lost you for a little bit but now you're back…and that feels good."

He used his thumb to wipe away the tears, leaving kisses in their place.

"I'm sorry I hurt you", he said huskily.

"Don't apologize. Just hold me. Just stay here with me. Just enjoy this moment with me."

He nodded as he complied, slowly starting to drift off until she jerked away from him.

"Nathan!"

"What?" he sat straight up. "Meg? Is everything okay? What happened?"

"Oh my God!"

"Megan!"

She grabbed his hand and put it to her stomach.

"Sweetie, do you feel that? Feel…right there."

He jumped when he felt the tiny flutter, a poke pushing back through her stomach.

"Is it…"

"It's the baby", she squealed. "The baby kicked."

A broad grin broke out on Nathan's face. Their baby was moving. It was the single happiest moment of his life. He could have spent all day just waiting for any sign of movement and that's exactly what he did. Megan lay back on their bed and he lay with his ear to her stomach. And that's how the three Scotts fell asleep.

It was the perfect end to the perfect day.


	77. Letting The Cat Out Of The Bag

October was undoubtedly Haley's favorite month. Hell, she had even written a song about it. That love had come from long ago. Long before the bright lights of the city, before the tours and platinum records and screaming fans. It had started when she was just a little girl in pigtails and overalls. She closed her eyes and remembered. She could hear the laughter. She could see the beautiful colors on the tall trees. She could see the huge pile of leaves in the middle of the yard, the one they had spent all morning before school raking. She could see the gangly blonde haired little boy take off running, with her on his heels as they dove into it. There was just something about fall in Tree Hill. There was nothing like it.

"Hope you've got your wallet because you so owe me, James."

"Chris", she pouted. "I left it at home."

"Haley!"

"What?"

"Real convenient. I told you this morning the only way I would come with you was if you treated me to Starbucks. Can't believe you copped out on me."

"It was an accident."

"I've heard that one before."

"I'll pay you back."

"I've definitely heard that one before."

"Was it so bad? It's beautiful out and we could use the exercise. Besides, this was really important. CAT was sick and I had to get her medicine and it's before noon so of course Taylor is passed out. Who else was going to walk with me?"

"I hate that damned cat."

"You do not."

"Trust me, I do."

"Oh leave her alone. She doesn't feel good."

"She doesn't feel good because she's coughing up hairballs the size of Texas. Damn, Haley! That's like the grossest thing I've ever seen."

"That's what cats do", she playfully hit him.

"Your cat is just weird. Weird and evil", he shook his head. "Now what do you want? And order light, will you? I only have like ten bucks on me."

Haley, wearing no make up, adjusted her the lime green cap that matched her Juicy Couture pantsuit, over her head. Chris was equally dressed down in jeans, a tee shirt and glasses. It was the times like that they cherished most, when they could just be normal, just two young New Yorker souls out and about like everyone else in the city.

"Um, let's see…I'll have a Cheese Danish with Mocha swirls, an Almond Filled Croissant, a Cinnamon Raisin Bagel."

Chris just looked at her.

"Damn. Anything else?"

"Oh and an Iced Café Latte."

"Haley!"

"What? You asked."

"I told you I only have ten bucks. I'd like to get something, too."

"You have your credit cards. Besides, this is no picnic for me either. I have these weird cravings and I end up stuffing my face. Believe me, you can take satisfaction in knowing I will be hunched over the nearest toilet in like 20 minutes puking my guts out."

"Oh the joys of pregnancy", he rolled his eyes.

"There is nothing joyous about this pregnancy…trust me", she said quietly.

He ordered and looked at her. Chris felt bad. She did seem to be having the hardest time. She was sick constantly and when she wasn't throwing up, she was running to the bathroom to pee every five seconds it seemed. She would fall asleep at the drop of a hat and the times she was awake he got to listen to complain about such attractive things as hemorrhoids, and breasts so tender that it even hurt to wear a bra. And he didn't even want to think about the mood swings.

"Here you go, sir", the clerk smiled, handing him his purchases and the credit slip to sign.

They took their goods and began the short walk back to Haley's loft.

"What?" he asked as he bit into his blueberry muffin.

"Nothing, it's just that…well, I can't believe you didn't offer me some before you started eating."

"Dude, are you kidding? I just bought up the whole freaking store for your greedy ass. I swear, Haley, I don't know if I can go through this for six more months. You're driving me crazy."

"I can't help it."

"You're gonna be as big as a house when all this is said and done. The book says…"

"What book?"

"What To Expect When You're Expecting", he sighed in exasperation. "Have you read it yet? I left a copy for you last week."

"Yeah, I know. Sorry. I've been busy."

"Haley!"

"I'll get to it. Promise."

"Anyway, it's all about balancing a healthy and nutritional diet for you and the baby. This is not healthy."

"Gee, I think I liked you better when you were the cocky asshole of a musician. I'm not really digging this whole 'pregnancy police' thing", she smiled.

"Make all the jokes you want to. And no more Iced Lattes. The caffeine isn't good for the baby."

"Well, it's good for me because if I don't have it, I feel like I'm going to go crazy."

"Too late…you're already there", he grinned.

She returned his smile and playfully pushed him. They waited at the curb for the "Walk" sign to flash. When it did, they hurried across the street. Haley didn't see the piece of broken sidewalk. The toe of her shoe caught in it, sending her sailing forward. She screamed and Chris dove for her, grabbing her tiny arm in the nick of time before what would have been a nasty and potentially dangerous fall.

"You okay?" he asked breathless and full of adrenaline as he leaned down to her.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I can't believe I almost just busted my ass. That was a close one. Thanks, Chris."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah…oh no. We dropped everything."

"It's okay. I don't care about that. I just want to make sure you and the baby are okay."

Fresh tears sprang to her eyes as the massive flood of hormones kicked in.

"I'm so sorry", she sobbed.

"Haley, why are you crying?"

"This is all my fault," she cried. "God, I am the biggest klutz. I almost fell and I made you drop your muffin."

He had to chuckle out loud.

"Don't worry about it, okay? You are more important than any stupid muffin. No need for tears. It's alright."

And then her pregnancy induced hormonal sob fest was over as quickly as it had started. She couldn't help but smile as she felt like the biggest idiot. Chris smiled too, his hands wiping the water trails from her eyes. Together they salvaged what was left of the fallen items.

"Thanks, Chris."

"Don't sweat it. Let's just get you back home before you cause any more damage", he winked. "Girl, I swear I can't take you anywhere."

She giggled as she linked arms with him.

"There they are! Get it! Did you get them?"

Chris and Haley looked over in shock. They heard the distinct clicks of the paparazzi's relentless cameras. A couple of men were a few yards away snapping photos.

"What a bunch of low life douche bags", Chris shook his head. "Come on. Just ignore them."

"No, Chris, God…"

"It's okay. They want to be ass clowns about it? I'll give them something to take a picture of", he flipped them off.

"No, Chris, wait."

"Haley, what's wrong?"

He followed her worried gaze down to the center of her body where the Juicy hooded sweatshirt had risen slightly above her navel, exposing the growing bump protruding from her otherwise tiny frame.


	78. You and Me

**_Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews, guys and welcome to the site, Maggie! New readers and their reviews are always appreciated!_**

Brooke frantically looked in her rearview mirror. She saw him approaching her so she did the only thing she could…she made a run for it. She jumped out of her car and made a mad dash to the front door. Once inside she tried to close it but it was too late. His foot blocked it and he was too strong for her to attempt to overpower him.

"Ma'am…"

"Officer, I'm sorry", she began.

"It's a little too late for that. Put your hands where I can see them."

"But you don't understand…"

"I think you're the one who doesn't understand. Speeding, driving recklessly, failing to pull over, then attempting to flee into a residence?"

"I'm really sorry. Look, I know this looks bad but it's not what it seems."

"Tell it to the judge, Miss."

"Sir, I promise I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't mean to speed and I'm sorry and I know I should have pulled over but it was dark and the street was empty and I got scared…look, I'm new in this town and…"

"Let me see your license, please."

She sighed before digging through her Louis Vuitton bag for her wallet.

"Here", she said.

"Brooke Davis?"

"That's me."

"Ma'am this is a North Carolina license. Are you advised that you have 30 days from the time of moving to switch over your information?"

"Yes but I'm a very busy woman and…"

"That's it. Hands behind your back."

"No. Please. I'm sorry."

"You want to add resisting arrest to your fine list of offenses tonight?"

"No, I just…God, I can't go to jail!"

He cuffed her anyway, despite her protests.

"I think we might need to do a search…a full body strip search", he sneered.

"What? Please, Officer…"

He callously ignored her pleas, undoing the buttons of her silk blouse one by one until a red lace bra that barely contained her breasts was exposed. His hands fondled them before he sank to his knees and let his fingers trail up her smooth, bare legs to the warmth radiating between her thighs. He peeled the panties from her hot, sticky flesh, marveling at how exquisite her body was.

"Very impressive."

"You'll never get away this, you bastard."

"Like I said…tell it to the judge", he said as he removed the cups of her bra, nipples springing to attention at the cool air.

His mouth found them, the tip of his tongue circling them. Despite her best efforts, Brooke whimpered. He teased her lovely mounds as she squirmed against the wall. He loved seeing her cuffed, unable to break through the restraints. His fingertip made it's way down to her belly button and finally he yanked up the skirt. He lifted her small frame off the floor, pulling his uniform pants and boxers down as he plowed into her. Brooke screamed.

"You like that?" he asked roughly.

Brooke just moaned, using his weight to wrap her legs around him. He moved in and out of her, his lips roughly crashing against her neck, leaving his mark. Her nails dug through his shirt until finally they released together. Brooke couldn't move or breathe.

"You okay?" he asked.

A smile crept to her lips.

"Oh hell yeah! Was that not awesome? Didn't I tell you?"

Lucas couldn't help but blush.

"Brooke…"

"Oh admit it. You had a great time."

"Okay, okay. I had a great time but I feel a little ridiculous in this stupid cop uniform."

"Oh it wasn't stupid a few minutes ago, Broody. It was very hot! Told you this role playing thing would be fun. When you get back from your next road trip, I get to be the horny nurse."

"Now that sounds good", he went to kiss her, nearly knocking her down in the process.

"Uh, the cuffs can come off now, Officer Scott."

"Sorry", he said sheepishly. "I'm not used to this freaky stuff."

"Freaky? Okay, I guess we are a little bit freaky but freaky can be good. Right?"

"I don't know", he mumbled.

"Right?" she giggled again, kissing his chest.

"Okay, freaky is good."

"That's what I thought."

Lucas looked over at her. Since they were 16, Brooke Davis had always had the uncanny ability to take him out of his element. He had gotten drunk for her, skipped countless curfews for her, even gotten a tattoo for her. Now she had him looking like one of the Village People, dressed as Philly's finest. God, how he loved that woman!

"This is nice", he commented.

"Oh yeah?"

"You get a firefighter's suit and I'll let you rescue me from a burning building, then there is always the naughty professor and…"

"Whoa, whoa. Slow it down, Cheery. That's all nice too but I mean this. You, me…here, now. Baby, I'm so glad you're here."

"You mean that?" she smiled.

"Of course I do."

"I'm glad, too."

"I told you this was a good idea, you moving here", he stroked her hair.

"You did, didn't you?"

"I sure did. And you know what else?"

"What Broody?"

"Next week, I have a three day break. Unheard of in the beginning of the season, right? But my time off happens to come right in the nick of time for the unveiling of Jennifer Lopez's new fashion line."

Brooke raised her eyebrows.

"J. Lo? I love J. Lo!"

"I know you do", he teased. "So that's why I worked my magic and scored these front row tickets to her Miami runway show but I know you're busy getting settled in a new city with work and…"

"Don't you dare!" she snatched them from him. "J. Lo, really? Good deal, babe! You are the man!"

"I know but thanks. I thought they would make you smile. You and me, two glorious nights in Florida."

"Sounds like absolute heaven", she kissed him.

"Nathan and Meg were supposed to join us but one of his games got rescheduled and…"

"What?"

"I said…"

"I heard what you said, Lucas. Whoa! Red light! Stop sign! Put it in 'R' and back up a few steps. As much as I love Jennifer Lopez and I do because she is a fashion icon, beauty idol, entrepreneur, musical genius, wonderful actress and all around fabulous diva, I would not go outside to empty the garbage with your loser brother and his pathetic, psycho wife much less South Beach."

Lucas sighed.

"Are we still on that?"

"Uh, let me think about it…yes!"

"Girls are so petty."

"Petty? I am not petty, Lucas Eugene Scott! From day one I have been nothing but nice to that girl and I considered her a real friend and sister and treated her as such. And she repays me by going off on me in front of everyone?"

"Look, she was under a lot of stress and…"

"Oh I'm sire and who wouldn't be, married to Nathan these days. He's a real Romeo."

"Brooke, babe, look…just don't talk shit about my brother, alright? I know he's been fucking up and there's a line longer than the one to get into Disney World to strangle him but he's still my brother."

"Fine."

"Don't be mad. But Megan is really sorry and Nathan is really changing."

"Yeah right."

"No, I'm serious. I talked to them yesterday. They're working stuff out and they both sounded a lot happier. I know Megan said some harsh things to you but…"

"Yeah and I so could have come back and hurt her dainty Catholic Stepford Wife feelings by telling her that her husband not only slept with his ex wife, but was closer than this to running off days before their wedding to reunite with Haley."

"And thank God you didn't because you're the bigger person and you're a nice girl and you know I would have killed you if you had done that."

"Yeah, yeah. Look, I'm not saying I hate Meg or anything but I definitely don't like what she did and petty or not, I'm not over it, Lucas. It's gonna take time and a hell of a lot more than an apology to fix this."

"If that's how you feel, fine. I respect that. Just remember, faults and drama and all, they're still family, my family. Both of them. Are you gonna be okay with that?"

She sighed and hugged him.

"Of course I will. And like I have a choice anyway. All the Scotts are cuckoo. You are the sanest one out of the bunch."

"Yikes. That's a scary thought", he quipped.

"Tell me about it. Listen, I'll get over it all and I'll try to speed up the process only for you, Broody but I want to concentrate on us. You and me. We have enough going on in our own lives. We can't keep getting involved in their messes."

"I know."

"I hope so because I'm being serious. It's alright to care but getting in the middle and trying to make everything better…this is their situation and we have to let them handle it."

Lucas took a deep breath.

"You're right, Brooke. You're absolutely right. It's just hard because I care so much."

"I know you do…and that's why I love you. You have a heart of gold, Luke."

He smiled and brushed her lips again with his.

"Okay. I'll make you a deal. From now on, I promise to quit meddling in Nathan's business and trying to save him all the time if…if you, speed up on forgiving Megan so we can all go and eventually be a happy family."

Brooke pouted as she thought for a minute.

"Okay, okay. You win. Deal", she shook his hand.

Lucas grinned.

"Alright, Cheery. From now on, it's just you and me."

She winked at him. She liked the sound of that.

"You and me."


	79. Ring of Fire

**_Author's Note: As always, thank you, thank you, thank you all for the reviews. Keep them coming...you guys inspire me! And even though I appreciate and welcome ALL readers, please be warned that this story contains a lot of adult content (language, sexual references, etc.) I just hope that everyone understands that and reads with discretion. I just don't want to offend, "corrupt" or disturb anyone._**

**_Thanks again!_**

"Nathan, can I get an autograph, man?"

Nathan looked at the teenaged boy in front of him nervously holding a marker and the edition of Sports Illustrated that Nathan had graced the cover of the previous year. It was Tree Hill's annual Burning Boat Festival, a long standing tradition where the whole town came together to enjoy exhibits, arts, crafts, food, games, rides, live entertainment and finally the large ark where people had a chance to throw away items to eventually be burned, hence the name.

It was a comfortable late October night in North Carolina. Nathan had a week of home games and a couple days break in between so he and Megan had decided to come down. They had been getting along fabulously in the last week or so and even the tension between Nathan and his parents had eased. All in all it had been a good night and Nathan didn't mind signing a magazine for a fan.

"There you go, dude", he said, after scribbling his signature.

The kid thanked him and Nathan shoved his hands in the pockets of his thin warm up jacket.

"Come one, come all, to the Tree Hill annual Burning Boat festival. Burn your bad karma, bad luck, or bad choices and start anew."

Nathan looked up to the familiar voice of the announcer. It was the same man it was every year, Brian "Whitey" Durham, a teacher at Tree Hill High School and the man who had coached Dan, Lucas and Nathan Scott. He smiled. He and Whitey had somewhat of a tumultuous relationship over the years but Nathan would always have a tremendous sense of love and respect for the wiser, older man.

His eyes scanned the crowd and he found his wife. She was standing over in a corner eating cotton candy while watching Jenny playing a game. She looked so happy at that moment. She and the child were giggling uncontrollably. Megan was so good and so comfortable when it came to children. There was no doubt in Nathan's mind that she would be an excellent mother.

He caught her attention and winked and she gave him that smile. She let Jake know that she was leaving so he could keep an eye on his daughter and she made her eay over to her husband.

"Hey you", he grinned.

"Hey yourself."

"Are you having a good time at Tree Hill's most entertaining and festive event?" he rolled his eyes playfully.

"It's not so bad", she shrugged. "And as long as they keep the cotton candy, funnel cakes and candied apples rolling in, I think I'll be okay."

He put his arm around her as they began walking.

"You know, it's funny. I don't think I've ever missed one of these. My whole family has been coming ever since I can remember. And nothing ever changes. Same old crowd. Same old stuff. Same old Whitey", he chuckled.

"It's a part of you, Nate. It's tradition for you like maybe it will be for our baby."

Nathan smiled. He liked the sound of that.

"Yeah? Well, this is his first one then", he touched her bump.

"His?" she raised an eyebrow. "What if he turns out to be a she?"

"That's cool. I'd be okay with us having a girl. She would be an incredibly good looking and smart kid and I wouldn't let her date until she was 30 but I could handle it."

Megan laughed.

"Well regardless, this time next year, the three of us will be back here. Sound good?"

"Sounds great."

She nestled her head in the crook of his arm.

"So if you've been coming to this thing for almost 20 years, tell me, have you ever thrown anything in the Burning Boat?"

Nathan thought for a minute.

"No", he finally said. "I never have."

"Nothing? Not one thing?"

"No."

"Wow."

"Not to say I didn't want to. This one time like sophomore year, Dad really pissed me off. We got into it about practice or something. Anyway, he made me so mad that I vowed I would quit the game and never play again so I brought my basketball with me and just as I snuck over to put it in the Burning Boat, he caught me."

"Who, Dan?"

"Hell yeah."

"Scary thought. He must have been pissed."

"Pissed isn't the word. Meg, I don't think there is a word but he was fired up, boy. Grabbed me by my collar and pulled me into a corner and threatened to beat the shit out of me."

He winced at the memory. He'd never forget the look on his father's face.

"I'm sorry, honey."

"It's okay", he shrugged. "It's over now."

"Well, is there anything you'd like to throw in there now."

"Nah", he shook his head. "What for? I think I got rid of all the bad stuff. That's my past. I just want to live in the present now and live for the future. And I want to do all that with you."

She smiled as he kissed her.

"I love you, Nate."

"Love you, too."

"Well, well. If isn't the lovebirds."

Nathan grinned.

"How's it going, Coach? You remember my wife, Megan?"

"How could I ever forget such beauty?" Whitey kissed her hand.

"Nice to see you again, Coach Durham", she smiled politely.

He put his hands on his hips as he turned his attention back to his former star player.

"I see you're still as pigheaded as ever", he grumbled. "Fouling out in Denver in the third quarter. Taking all those risky threes against the Timberwolves?"

"Paid off, didn't it? Who won that game, Coach? Whose three pointer sealed the deal when it was tied with 2.1 seconds left?"

"Maybe I should call that coach of yours and tell him a thing or two about sticking his foot up the asses of pompous, over confident rookies."

"I'll let you two gentlemen talk basketball. Excuse me while I go to the ladies' room, please", Megan smiled.

They watched her as she walked away.

"She's a fine young lady, Nathan. You're a lucky man."

"I know, Coach."

"Everything going okay between you two?"

Nathan shrugged.

"Yeah. I've got the career I've always wanted, the home I've always wanted, the wife I've always wanted…now, we're just waiting on our baby."

"I heard about that. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Coach."

"Glad to see things have been going so well for you. You're a good kid, Nathan. I was hard on you because I saw all the potential. Good to see your dreams were realized."

"They were."

"And uh…I take it everything is resolved with Haley?"

Nathan cringed at the name.

"Yeah", he sighed. "All that's behind me now."

Whitey just stared at him for a minute. He could sense the sad expression and far away look in the young man's eyes. Whitey Durham had been around for a while and he had seen a thing or two in his day. He called it the old "live and learn" process. With age and experience came a wisdom money couldn't buy. He took one look at Nathan and saw through the tough exterior. How he had transformed from that cocky, spoiled teenager from long ago.

"You're a good man, son", he slapped his shoulder.

He gave Nathan a look and neither said a word but there was a quiet understanding between the two. Nathan nodded before walking away. He smiled as he saw a yawning Megan walking towards him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I'm just tired."

"You want to head back?"

"You wouldn't mind?" she asked.

He stroked her cheek.

"Nah. I wouldn't mind."

"Let me just tell your parents we're going to take off, okay?"

Nathan nodded and kissed her before turning his attention to the Burning Boat. It was the one chance out of the year to rid yourself of the old and the bad and make room for the new and good. Looking around, he fished in his pocket one more time. Finally his fingers found what they were looking for. He pulled it out and stared at it. It was the gold wedding band Haley had given to him seven years ago. Although he hadn't worn it in years, he had always kept it close to his body…and even closer to his heart.

Sighing, he peered over to where his wife was happily chatting away with his mother and father. Taking one more huge, deep breath, he tossed the ring into the fire.


	80. Extra, Extra, Read All About It

"South Beach, here I come! Jennifer Lopez, here I come! Marc Anthony or…wait, well, whoever the hell she's married to these days, here I come!"

Lucas smiled. Brooke was beyond excited. He hadn't heard her that happy in a while. For days she had literally been dancing around the loft, making up silly little songs about their upcoming trip.

"Well, you don't have to wait long, my dear", he winked. "We leave for the airport in less than an hour."

"I know! I can't wait! I'm so excited, Broody! We are going to have so much fun! And by the way, have I told you that you are only like the best boyfriend ever?"

Her enthusiasm was contagious. Hell, he was almost excited to be sitting front row at some boring fashion show.

"You all packed up?" he asked.

"Yeah. Babe, I might need help with my bags."

Lucas peered around the corner. He shook his head when he saw the five piece set of designer luggage with a name he wouldn't even attempt to pronounce.

"Brooke!"

"What?"

"Babe, I said two days…not two years. What gives with all the packing?"

"Well, considering I will probably need to change three to four times a day and…"

"Oh God", he groaned. "What have I gotten myself into?"

She appeared around the corner with a huge grin wearing a cute sundress and sandals.

"Ta da! What do you think?"

"I think it's autumn in Philadelphia and you're going to freeze your little buns off."

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Sometimes, you are so just the opposite of fun, Lucas Scott. I do have a jacket, thank you very much and that will tide me over until the airport."

"What about planes? You know they're always cold."

She thought for a minute.

"You're right. But if the plane gets too cold, I can request one of those warm blankets from the stewardess and uh…if you're good, Broody, or, I take that back", she smiled. "If you're bad, then I might let you get underneath that blanket with me."

He was a sucker for her teasing.

"Is that right?" he asked.

"Sure thing", she grinned pulling him towards her as she lifted up the dress and gave him a flash preview. "Aren't my undies cute?"

"I don't know", he rubbed his chin. "Let me get a better look…"

"Lucas Scott, don't you dare!" she squealed.

Their impromptu make out fest was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Whoever it is, tell them to go the hell away", an excited Lucas moaned.

"No can do, Luke. It's the mailman."

"When did you start getting so happy about the mailman?" Lucas laughed as she bounded towards the door.

Brooke opened it, exchanged pleasantries and returned with a bundle. .

"It's magazine day! I have US, People, In Touch, In Style, Glamour, Cosmo…"

"Okay, okay. I get it."

"It totally beats waiting in line at stores to buy them. Now my plane ride will be complete."

"Hey", he pouted. "What about me?"

"What about you?"

"You know, you, me…playing under the blankets, joining the mile high club."

"I'll think about it."

"Brooke!"

"What? I can't miss reading out on Cameron Diaz's diet secrets", she quipped.

Lucas shook his head. She was a hell of a woman alright and she was his woman. And in a few minutes they were off on a much needed and anticipated vacation. All he needed was to call for a driver.

"Baby, get your 20 magazines, 10 purses, 100 pieces of luggage and 50 make up bags together. I'm gonna start putting everything outside, okay?"

Brooke half heartedly listened as she flipped through her magazines.

"Hey Brooke…"

"Oh my God!"

He looked at her. She looked like she had just seen a ghost.

"You okay? Let me guess, Nick and Jessica finally broke up", he joked.

"Lucas…"

She could barely catch her breath. She looked at him, trying to open her mouth and speak but no words would come out.

"This better be good", he snatched the mags away from her. "You better be all speechless from one of those Karma Sutra tips they like to put on the Cosmopolitan cover."

His smile quickly faded. He saw exactly what had Brooke so riled up and it was anything but a laughing matter.

"Luke…"

"Oh my God."

There she was, there it was on every major cover for the world to see:

**Breaking News! Song Bird Haley James Pregnant? Exclusive pics inside of the Grammy Award winning musician and her rumored beau, fellow rocker, Chris Keller**

Lucas feverishly turned to the desired page. It was a series of paparazzi shots that showed a dressed down Haley and Chris strolling through New York City, her near fall, his gallant save, and the exposure of her expanded waistline. On the following page was a photo of Haley taken just months before on the red carpet in a size 3, form fitting Armani dress. Next were the latest pictures that showed a belly mysteriously protruding from her body.

"Looks like Tutor Wife is gonna be Tutor Mom", Brooke said when she finally caught her breath.

Lucas couldn't believe it. His whole body was trembling.

"Oh my God", he kept repeating.

"You'd think that little runt, Keller, heard of condoms."

"Brooke!"

"Or maybe they planned it. Isn't that the 'in' Hollywood thing for big stars now?"

Lucas skimmed the articles. He knew what his eyes saw but he also knew what his heart was telling him. And he recalled the conversations he'd had with Haley over the summer.

"It's not his baby", he whispered.

"What?"

"Chris. Chris Keller is not the father."

"That's what the paper said. I mean, who else could it…"

Brooke stopped mid sentence.

"Nathan", the both mouthed simultaneously.

"Brooke…"

"No. Oh Broody. This is too bizarre. It can't be. First they're still married after all these years, then the tsunami, then Meg pregnant, then Haley crashing the wedding…"

"Oh man", he muttered to himself.

"Let's not jump to conclusions, here. It could be Chris'. That's what US said and US doesn't lie. I get all my Britney gossip from there and they haven't steered me wrong yet."

"Brooke, will you be serious?"

"I am. Look, a magazine can't just print false stuff about famous people. They'll get sued. They wouldn't say Chris was the father, presuming there is an actual baby in there and that bump isn't the result of one too many Dunkin' Donuts. There has to be some level of truth."

"They're just friends. Hales never slept with him."

"How do you know?"

"Because she told me."

"And you believe her?"

"Yes", he said sincerely.

"Luke…"

"I have to call Nathan…"

"No, you don't", she jerked his cell phone away.

"Brooke, if he already knows, I can't let him handle this alone. And of he doesn't know, I can't let him find out from a freaking tabloid! He's my brother!"

"He's a big boy, Lucas. Look, I feel awful and that little love triangle plus two babies is getting weirder by the second, but honestly what can you and I do? This is their situation to handle. We can't get involved."

"How can we not?"

"What are you going to do then? Lucas, you can't fix it! How do you plan on swooping in and saving the day?"

Lucas threw the books on the floor.

"I can't just stand by and let this happen!"

"If Nate pulled a Dan Scott, then sweetie, it's his bed to lie in. Of course we'll be there for him but this is ultimately between Nathan and Meg. What good is talking to him going to do?"

Lucas grabbed his jacket.

"You're right. You're absolutely right, Brooke."

"Then where are you going?"

"I have to go to New York."

"What? Have you lost your mind, Lucas?"

"I have to know. I have to talk to Haley. I have to know the truth about all this."

"Okay this is like the craziest thing I've ever heard of but what makes you so sure she'll even tell you the truth?"

"She will", he sighed. "I just know it. And if she doesn't? I'll know anyway. I can look in her eyes and tell."

Brooke was beside herself.

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"Brooke, I have to. Please understand."

"What about me? What about Miami?"

"I'm sorry", he whispered.

Tears welled in her eyes. After all the promises and sacrifices made, after all the struggle to keep their relationship about them, once again they were in the dead center of the Nathan/Megan/Haley drama. She felt like he was choosing them over her.

"Lucas…"

"Brooke, I'm really, really sorry, okay? I have to go. I have to do this. Babe, just please try to understand."

"I don't", she folded her arms defiantly. "I can't believe this."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"It's more than J. Lo and Miami and fashion. Don't you see what you're doing?"

"Brooke…"

"If you walk out that door…"

He closed his eyes. Not an ultimatum. Please, God, not an ultimatum.

"Brooke, don't do it", he begged.

She stood silent for a while before wiping her eyes.

"Fine. Do you, Lucas. Whatever. Do what you want to do."

"I'm sorry", he said as he left.

The door shut and she was all alone, her whole world literally turned upside down in a matter of minutes.

"Yeah…me too."


	81. Railroaded

**_Author's Note: A while ago, I received a review from a reader who mentioned the discussion of this fic over at the Fan Forum site. I apologize for not remembering your name and I have tried to sort through the reviews to track that person down, but no luck. Whoever it was, if that person would send mea private e-mail, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks..._**

Deb grabbed the keys to her Lexus convertible and put them near her purse on the counter. She checked her watch as she grabbed her jacket. Time seemed to be flying by and she didn't want to be late for her stint at the café. It had been a relaxing few days. Business was booming and she had enjoyed Nathan and Megan's brief stay in Tree Hill. They seemed to be "okay" and for the moment, that was enough for her. Even Dan was on his best behavior and that surprise was more than anyone could ask for.

She looked at her blonde daughter in law lounging on the couch. Her hands rested gently on top of her stomach. Inside her was the factor that had changed everything. It was Nathan's child…Deb's grandchild.

"It's almost three and you don't want to be late", Dan playfully slapped Deb on the behind. "Karen might dock your pay."

Deb rolled her eyes.

"I'm leaving now. Nathan, Meg, you guys all set?"

Her son appeared from another room.

"Yeah. We're heading out soon, Mom."

"Well, drive safely, honey", she kissed her son.

"We will", he said, awkwardly wiggling away from her embrace.

"Relax, Deb, the boy is a good driver", Dan mocked. "Why must we go through this every single time the kids get ready to leave?"

"Because I am a mother and that's what mothers do…we worry."

"Well, we'll be fine", Meg intervened. "And hopefully the next time you guys come up, Deb, you and I can go shopping. I found some really cute decorating ideas and colors for nurseries when you don't know if it's going to be a girl or boy."

"Well, that could be solved if you two would quit with all this surprise nonsense and find out if it is a boy or girl", Dan scoffed.

"Leave the kids alone", Deb warned. "Besides, the surprise just adds to the excitement."

"Well, I hate to be the spoiler but Megan, son, you two are having a boy", Dan proudly announced.

"And just how do you know that?" Megan asked, hands on her hips.

"Because I do", he smiled in between sips of whiskey. "There's a fourth generation beasketball star inside you right now. Mark my words. Besides, Scott men don't make girls. It would be…unheard of."

Megan giggled as Deb and Nathan dismissed him with the roll of their eyes.

"Well, I need to get to the café so you two call me later", Deb smiled as she walked outside.

"You almost ready, babe?" Nathan asked as he leaned over the couch and kissed his wife. "We need to get on the road, too."

"I know but sweetie, the E! True Hollywood Story just came on."

Nathan shook his head.

"Meg, are you kidding me? Baby, we have to go. And you've seen those stupid shows like a thousand times already."

"But this one is new."

"And they'll air it a million times, trust me."

The show went to commercial and Nathan playfully dove for the remote. On to his actions, Megan giggled and tossed it across the room before he could get to it. He landed beside her, kissing her lips as they cuddled and laughed.

"You two need to get a room", Dan sighed as he poured another shot into his glass. "And Nathan get your feet off the couch. If your mother knew your shoes were touching her custom imported leather, God forbid, she'd have a fit."

Much to Megan's amusement, Nathan made a jerking off motion with his hand while his father continued to lecture. They kissed and giggled again as the E! channel went to its live celebrity news break. Nathan rolled his eyes as the commentator made reference to new events about Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, Usher, Ashton Kutcher and the usual stars with their names and personal business in the news. For the life of him, Nathan would never figure out how his wife could watch that garbage with a straight face,

"…And in breaking music news, it seems that perhaps the music doesn't lie. Several years after their number 1 duet, 'When The Stars Go Blue' and a series of tours together, it seems rock princess Haley James and her rumored prince, fellow musician, Chris Keller, are expecting a child together. Such reports have been the talk of the entertainment world after paparazzi photos appeared in various tabloids and US and People magazine showing an obviously pregnant James arm in arm with Keller on the streets of New York. James, who just finished a nationwide concert tour with Keller this summer, was in the news months ago when it was reported that she was in the Dominican Republic during the tragic tsunami and was briefly reported missing. The 23 year old songbird was of course there to receive a divorce from her estranged husband, NBA star, Nathan Scott. Calls to Ms. James' publicist were not returned but we will keep you up to date on this story as it continues to unfold. In other news, P. Diddy…"

The room fell silent for a moment.

"Breaking news, huh?" Dan took another drink.

"I can't believe she's pregnant and had the nerve to show up at our wedding causing drama. Some people just like to stir up trouble, I guess. I wonder where her little boyfriend was during all that."

"I wonder", Dan smirked.

The door opened and a frantic Deb ran back into the house.

"I can't believe I forgot my wallet. I swear if my head wasn't screwed on…", she smiled. "What's with all the long faces?"

"You missed it, Deb. There was uh, a breaking news flash."

"Did something happen? What's going on?"

"It seems Haley James is pregnant."

Deb grabbed the countertop for support. She looked over at her son whose eyes never left the floor.

"Well, I'm glad", Megan stood up. "Now maybe she can concentrate on her own life with Chris Keller and leave ours the hell alone."

"Chris?" Deb questioned.

"Yeah. They said he was the father. They had pictures and everything."

Deb's heart pounded. Haley. Pregnant. Chris. None of it made sense. She looked over at Dan whose intense gaze was boring a hole through their son.

"You okay, dear? You don't look so well."

Well? Of course she wasn't well! Deb hated that smirk and patronizing tone of the man she called her husband. Something wasn't right and she sensed it. She wondered if he could sense it too. Judging from the leer on his face, he seemed to have an idea.

"I…I'm fine. I'm just late for work, that's all", Deb cleared her throat. "I…I, wish Haley all the best."

"Then why don't you send her a gift basket?"

She gave Dan a death stare before turning her attention back to her son who looked absolutely stunned. The only person going about like nothing happened was her daughter in law.

"I…I have to get going", she finally said.

Taking one last look at Nathan, his blue eyes finally met hers. There were no words to describe the look but one simple glance spoke for itself. Deb was a mother, his mother. She could almost read his mind.

"I'm gonna go grab my purse, sweetie", Meg kissed Nathan's cheek. "You almost ready to get out of here?"

"Huh? Oh yeah…yeah. In a minute."

"I'll be quick then. Love you."

With Deb gone and Meg upstairs, father and son were left alone. Nathan looked his father in the eye.

"What?" he grumbled.

Dan laughed that sinister laugh of his.

"Is there something you want to tell me, son?"

"No", Nathan answered quickly but firmly.

Dan nodded as he could see through the awkward squirming and lack of eye contact. Nathan looked like he was on the verge of passing out.

"Well then, how about a drink before the road?" Dan offered, already pulling out another glass. "Looks like you could use it."

Nathan opened his mouth but no words came out. His father was right and all he could do was accept the glass of whiskey poured over several ice cubes. His mind was all over the place. He felt like he had been punched in the gut. No…worse. Like he had been hit by a train. In essence, he had. Just when things had gone seemingly back to normal, once again Haley James had managed to derail his entire life.


	82. Her Sister's Keeper

Lucas was literally shaking. His entire sweat soaked body had trembled during the entire ride. With his unshaven face and questionable demeanor, he wasn't exactly the type of passenger other travelers wanted to sit next to. In his haste to get out of Philadelphia and leaving his disappointed girlfriend behind, he was in no shape to make the short drive to New York so instead he boarded the train for the 100 mile journey.

It was early afternoon when he arrived. A taxi took him from Penn Station to the Chelsea neighborhood where her loft was. Lucas Scott was a man on a mission. A man determined to find out the truth. Deep in his heart and in the pit of his gut, he felt that the baby Haley was rumored to be carrying did indeed belong to his younger brother. Part of him wanted that to be true. But what if it was? He closed his eyes and shuddered, just thinking of the drama and heartache that would ensue.

He thought back over his own life and past. Could history really repeat itself? Would Nathan truly find himself in an all too similar and familiar position, one that Dan had been in some 24 years prior? And if so, what would he do?

Lucas stood in front of the building debating. Should he call Haley from his cell phone and let her know he was there? What if she didn't want to see him? What if Chris was there? No, he had come too far and risked too much to be turned away. So much depended on the next few minutes. He would have to get in the building without Haley being alerted of his presence. Lucas knew it wouldn't be an easy feat but he was willing to resort to cash bribes or even his own star power to get in that door.

But none of that would be necessary. A commotion outside with some photographers distracted the doorman's attention. Lucas saw his chance and he went for it. He slipped inside unnoticed and took the elevator to Haley's floor. Finally he arrived, heart pounding, a lump in his throat as he knocked. The door opened and he took a few nervous steps forward, words tumbling out, not even bothering to be asked inside.

"Hales, we need to talk! I…"

"Look what we have here. The Scott brother I haven't slept with…and not by lack of trying, either."

"Taylor…"

"What's up, cutie? I would invite you in but you already took that upon yourself so have a seat."

Lucas walked in, still stunned.

"Look, Taylor, I…"

"Can I get you something to drink? Milk, water, tea, juice, beer? Looks like you could use something."

"No. Look…um, is…is Hales here?"

"You just missed her, cowboy. Sorry."

"Where is she?"

Taylor shrugged and laughed.

"Am I my sister's keeper?"

"Taylor!"

"Okay, okay. Look, I seriously don't know, okay? I have no idea where she went or what time she'll be back. Was she expecting you?"

"No", he answered, as deflated as a popped balloon.

"Well, is there something I can help you with? I take it this isn't a social visit or you showing up to offer us season tickets to the 76ers games."

"This is serious, Taylor."

"I'm sure it is", she said quietly. "It's about the baby, isn't it?"

"Yeah…how did you know?"

"Hell, everyone knows. It's in the papers and the magazines and all over the TV and radio. The phone has been ringing off the hook, e-mails are coming non stop, faxes are coming in non stop and Haley's probably gonna have to change her cell phone number. I don't know how those freaks get our numbers."

"Yeah, the paparazzi is outside now."

"They've been camped out for days now. Better hope they didn't see you or your picture will be next on the front page."

"They didn't see me."

"Good. I don't know how your wife or fiancée or girlfriend or whatever you have these days, if you even have someone at all, would take that. You know, seeing a headline that Lucas Scott fathered Haley James' baby."

"Actually, I have a girlfriend and even though Brooke isn't real happy with me right now, I know she understands."

"Brooke Davis, huh?" Taylor smirked. "You two still trying to get it together."

"We have."

He closed his eyes, praying it was still "together" after he had run out on her and bailed on Miami.

"Interesting…"

"Look, Taylor, I don't have time for the games, okay? Just be real with me."

"What do you want to know? Why are you here?"

"I need to see Haley."

"Why?"

He took a deep breath.

"Is it true? Is she really pregnant?"

"Oh it's true. Little sis went and got herself knocked up."

"Is she going to keep it?"

"So she says."

"And she's okay?"

"Fit as a fiddle."

"What about the emotional stuff? Is she holding up?"

"She's good", Taylor grabbed a beer. "Haley is happy. She's rock star happy. She is three months knocked up single rock star happy. But hell, it could be worse, right?"

Lucas looked Taylor deep in her eyes.

"There's one thing I need to know, Taylor. You have to tell me. Is it…is it Chris' baby?"

"Whose else would it be?" she retorted, not missing a beat.

Lucas was taken aback. It was not the answer he was expecting.

"It…you mean, I…"

He didn't know how to respond. Was Taylor just messing with his head? Was there a chance it was Chris' baby? Had Haley lied to him about not ever being intimate with Chris? Was Taylor even aware of what had really happened those days in the Dominican between Haley and Nathan?

"What's the matter, sexy?" she teased as she rubbed CAT. "Cat got your tongue?"

Lucas shifted uncomfortably.

"No. I…look…"

"Ah, I get it. What you're trying to say is that it really could be your brother's baby?"

"I…"

"Because while the world was looking for them, our younger siblings were passing the hours away doing the nasty in a little mud hut. Is that what you meant to say?"

"Not in those words but…"

"Sorry. Being politically correct just isn't my forte."

"I get that', he rolled his eyes. "Anyway, whose baby is it?"

"Does it matter?"

"Taylor, just how many beers have you had? Of course it matters!"

"What if it Nathan's?"

"Then Nathan needs to know!"

"Why?"

"Why? So he can step up. Take care of it. Do the right thing."

"Be there for my sister?"

"Well…yeah."

"Okay, in all this where exactly will Nathan's other pregnant wife fit in?"

"I don't know. It's complicated, alright?"

"Damn right it is."

"Nathan will be okay. He'll be there for his kids. Both of them."

Taylor laughed out loud.

"Just like Papa Dan, Nathan was a rolling stone, huh?"

"You don't know all the facts."

"And neither do you, Lucas. Why is this so important to you? Why are you here and not Nathan? He sent you to do his snooping for him?"

"No. Taylor, he doesn't even know I'm here. I haven't talked to him. I don't even know if he knows yet about Haley."

"He's going to find out soon. Let's say it is his baby. And let's just say he pulls a Dan. Then what? Where does that leave my sister and her kid?"

"He won't."

"What if he does?"

Lucas sighed.

"Then I'll be there. For her and the kid. Just like you will be. Just like…just like Keith was there for me."

Taylor bit her lip. It wasn't good enough.

"Well, uh, lucky for you, it won't come to that."

"What are you talking about, Taylor?"

"Tell your brother the gods were smiling on him this time but next time he might want to invest in a rubber."

"You mean…"

"Chris."

Lucas was dumbfounded. The timing, his talks with Haley, his gut feelings. None of it made sense.

"No. Taylor, you're wrong. It can't be. Haley said…"

"What? She never slept with the guy?"

"That's what she told me."

"Sometimes we say things that aren't true to protect the interests of those we love the most", she said softly.

Lucas was too disoriented to catch the irony of it. If he'd taken the time to study her face and what she was saying, he might would have figured it all out at that moment.

"Are…are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

Lucas nodded.

"I still need to see her."

"Why?"

"Because I do. Because I care. Because I want to help her. Because…"

"Let it go, Luke. Look, you're a nice guy and I know you love my sister but what you're trying to do is going to cause more harm than good. It'll just make shit worse for everybody. Let go, man. Go back to Philly and your team and your prissy little girlfriend and live your life. Be happy. And let Nathan do the same with his wife and his child."

"Taylor…"

"I know how you feel, alright? Those two have been through so much. In my opinion, they never should have broken up in the first place. But they did. And they're not kids anymore, Lucas. So much time has passed and so much has happened and now there is a wife and children involved. It's not right. If you really love Haley, if you really love Nathan, then you'll just stop. Stop right now. I beg you, don't open up this can of worms because once you do, there's no going back. And a lot of innocent people are going to get hurt."

Lucas looked at the floor. So Haley's baby really wasn't Nathan's. Neither he or his brother had a blood claim to it. It was time to let Chris and Haley just be. It was time to move on. Brooke had been right. Taylor was right.

"Okay", he finally sighed. "Sorry to bother you. Guess I'll get going."

Taylor nodded as she stood to let him out.

"Nice seeing you again, Luke. And uh, just remember. Next time you're in town, give me a call if you want to party."

He shook his head as she grinned evilly. He left, letting the door close behind him. Lucas felt like the wind literally had been knocked out of him. It was over. The final chapter had been written in the Naley saga. There was nothing more Lucas could do. Nothing more but pray there was still a breath of life left in the Brucas story.

Cold hands in his pockets, he waited at the curb for a cab that pulled over right away to take him back to the train station. As he opened the door, head down he climbed inside, not bothering to look back. If he had, just for a split second, he might have noticed the tiny figure with the baseball cap pulled low and the growing belly slip past the hordes of human vultures waiting outside for her with their relentless cameras.

Haley brushed past the masses, head down, refusing to answer questions or pose for photos. Extra security and the doorman ushered her in and to the elevator. She breathed a tired sigh of relief as she made it to her floor and turned her key in the lock of her front door.

As usual, there was Taylor spread out on the couch, beer in one hand, remote in the other with an equally lazy CAT purring next to her as they enjoyed daytime television.

"Little sis, you're just in time for the People's Court. Come watch Judge Milian with me. She is so brash and mean and straight to the point…God, I just love her."

"I'll pass", Haley half smiled as she sifted through the mail. "Besides, the usual gossip hounds trying to get a statement or a pic, anything interesting happen while I was gone? Anybody call or come by?"

"Were you expecting anyone?" Taylor asked.

"I thought Jessica might drop by but I guess not."

Taylor took another sip of beer and shrugged, looking right at her little sister.

"Nope. No one called or came by that I know of. It was actually pretty quiet while you were gone."

Haley nodded.

"Okay. Well, I'm gonna go lie down for a bit.

Taylor just smiled as she watched Haley disappear into the master bedroom. It was a funny thing. After all the years, after everything that had happened, she had turned out to be her sister's keeper after all.


	83. Night Terrors

_**Author's Note: Just a little warning...this story, if you haven't figured it out by now, is kind of long...and dramatic...and twisty...and angsty. And it's nowhere near done so for those that deem it too long or too sad, I now am taking the gun away from your head that I was using to force you to read this. Okay? Not to be a bitch and I am soooo grateful for breaking 1,000 reviews but I have all kinds of crap going on with work and everything else and I try my best to bust out these chapters DAILY for you guys so cut me a little slack and stop the bitching. I'd rather you not read and review than just needlessly complain. And I take in to consideration that you guys are really into this and that makes me feel good, like I'm doing something right but remember...this is only fiction! And fan fiction at that! Give me a break. I'm just a writer and they're just characters. It's not like I'm going home and having dinner with Nathan, Megan, and Haley, lol...**_

_He watched her in the field of purple and pink and yellow colors. Flowers were everywhere. God, it was so beautiful. So perfect. Like a little piece of Heaven on earth. He couldn't help but smile. She was dressed in all white. Her tanned skin seemed to glow and her long, auburn hair fluttered in the passing breeze._

_He came closer. He could see the tiny bundle in her arms. He could see the beautiful sleeping face and a huge grin crept to his lips. She looked up at him and smiled as well before looking down at the precious package she was holding. She beckoned him to come join them. He increased the pace of his steps so that he could be with his family._

_Soon he was in front of them. Instinctively his arms reached out but she didn't accept his hand. The smile was still on her face but she seemed to be looking past him, through him almost. He turned and followed her eyes. Then he saw the other man come up behind them with arms outstretched. The tall, skinny, other man with the spiky brown hair, wide blue eyes and baby face. He went to them, wrapping his arms around the two. They looked like a beautiful, picture perfect, happy family…_

"No!" Nathan awoke with a start.

His breathing was coming in radical spurts and his entire body was covered in a cold sweat.

"Baby? What's wrong?" Meg asked as she sat up.

Nathan could hardly speak.

"I…I…"

"Honey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. It…it was just a bad dream", he managed.

"You sure? You're soaking wet and you're shaking."

"I'm okay."

"You want to talk about it?"

He shook his head.

"No. I'm just gonna get a drink of water."

He kissed her cheek before climbing out of bed.

"Nathan…"

"I'm fine. Really Megan. Go back to sleep, babe."

She nodded uneasily as he made his way through the darkness. He cut on one of the dimmer hallway lights that led the way downstairs. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with ice water, before splashing some from the tap on his face.

There was no way he would be able to sleep after that dream. He was afraid to even shut his eyes. It had affected him like nothing else. So real. So vivid. Just the thought made him shudder.

He peered upstairs to make sure all was quiet and his wife was safely tucked in bed. When he was certain she was sleeping, he carefully opened the downstairs closet, the one that proudly housed his "pack rat junk" as Megan liked to refer to it. It was mostly sports memorabilia from his high school and college days. But buried underneath the debris, was a safe deposit box. Nathan lifted it and carried it with him to the large, downstairs bathroom. He locked the door and turned on the faucet before taking a seat on the edge of the tub.

Nathan knew the combination by heart. It was the same code for his locker at Tree Hill High. He put in the numbers and like magic, the box opened. He rummaged through the old pictures. He and Dan fishing in South Carolina. On the golf course with Royal. At the beach with Tim. At a kegger with Lucas.

Then there were the other photos. The ones pushed to the rear. Nathan retrieved them. There was the one on the beach at their wedding day. He looking handsome in his dark suit and Haley looking beautiful in that white dress. The other one that Lydia had taken as the newly married couple stared deeply in each other's eyes. Polaroids from the reception. Snapshots of them goofing around in the apartment. At the River Court, at the café…pictures, memories everywhere.

Nathan dug a little deeper to find the photo he was looking for. The newest one to the collection. The one past the collection of her CDs. The one he had cut from a magazine and hastily stuffed in the box before Meg could find out what was going on. The picture that had been printed in probably every magazine in the world. The one of Haley, shirt exposing her stomach, hand in hand with Chris Keller on the streets of New York.

She was pregnant…that was a given. It was no denying that it was a baby and not the result of one too many carbs. The bump was round and protruded enough from her body to be noticeable. The articles had said that she was about three months along and judging from the visual, they were right. Three months. Three months prior, they had been in the Dominican Republic. Nathan looked up at the calendar on the walls. The pink one with the picture of the cute little puppies that Megan had insisted on hanging up.

He was right. Three months prior had been the divorce. He could close his eyes and see the lavish penthouse suite. He remembered the taxi ride to the judiciary office. He remembered her coming in, late and breathless but at the same time breathtaking in that little sundress. The signing of the papers, the cheap shots at each other, her getting him bombarded by teenage fans to get back at him for not sharing a cab earlier. Then the night had come and with it brought unspeakable, unthinkable destruction and terror. The sights, the horrified people, the crashing wave, the screams, the fear, water everywhere, mosquitoes, clinging to the tree, trying to save Haley, swimming for a hut that seemed to move further in the distance when he knew it was their only chance at survival! God, his legs had ached so bad. He didn't know he had made it. Probably adrenaline and will alone. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the pain! God, he could still feel it! Nathan let out a huge gasp. Sometimes, it was like he was there and it was happening all over again.

He laughed in spite of himself. In the midst of turmoil, had been their only time together in years. He wished it had gone differently. He wished he had told her what he wanted to tell her all those years ago. All those lonely nights in the apartment spent staring at a cold, empty space. Dammitt! He should have told her that he loved her. But he didn't. Instead, he showed her. And what had been the outcome of that lost and forbidden final act of love?

She had always been good with kids. She loved kids. In addition to school, tutoring, being a wife, working at the café, and practicing music, somehow she found the time to volunteer at an orphanage. He had watched her with the kids a few times. They really loved and he knew someday she would make an excellent mother. They had talked about it a few times. Lying side by side in bed in the darkness, happily discussing dreams for their future. He wanted two kids, a girl and a boy. Haley wanted seven! They agreed to disagree or at least negotiate but sadly it had never come to that. There had been no time. No time for babies or even more dreams of them before the marriage had gone sour.

He stared at her bare belly. Could it be? Could it really be? Did God dare play a cruel and ironic joke by recreating in a way the Dan/Karen/Deb scenario. Nathan thought hard. They hadn't used a condom but then again how could they have? It's not like they were readily available and even if they had been, who would have guessed what would have happened after a day and a half in the hut?

What if it wasn't his? What if it was Chris'? But she had said she hadn't slept with him. Never. Not once in seven years. And he had been expected to believe that. But she wouldn't lie…or would she? Why not? She had lied in the past. She had looked right in his face and blamed Taylor for making up stories about an alleged kiss between her and Chris. But it hadn't been Taylor. It was Haley who was lying. She had looked in his face and lied once before, why wouldn't she do it again?

She knew how important family was. She knew what he had gone through with his own parents. What Lucas' life had been like without a father. If it were true, if her child was his, she would have told him. She wouldn't put him through that. Or an innocent baby. It was Chris'. It had to be.

Then why did that make him so goddamn angry? Nathan had his own life and his own kid on the way. He was married to Megan. Why was Haley's life and choices bothering him so? She could do what she want. If she wanted Chris, if she wanted a family with him, then that was her prerogative. She had her life in New York and his was in North Carolina. What had happened briefly between them had been nothing more than a mistake filled epilogue for closure.

Putting the contents back, he locked the box and placed it back in its secure closet hiding place. Then he headed to the kitchen to rinse out his glass. He closed his eyes and he could see her. Her gorgeous naked body in bed. He could hear her moaning out in pleasure. But he wasn't her lover. No. Instead it was that weasel, Chris. On top of her, hands and mouth all over her, pumping in and out of her with a shit eating grin on his face desired just to get at Nathan

It was too much! In a daze induced rage, he screamed and threw the glass on the kitchen floor, causing it to shatter everywhere.

"Nathan…"

He looked up. In the darkness, he could make out Meg, in her robe.

"It's glass everywhere", he mumbled. "I dropped it. Sorry."

"It's okay. I…"

"Don't come in here. I don't want you to cut your foot. I'll clean it up, okay?" he said, getting the broom and dustpan.

She watched as he swept it up. He was still shaky. Still sweaty.

"Honey, is everything okay? Maybe you should come lie down."

"Yeah. Um, I'll be up in a minute."

Running his hands through his damp, dark hair he stumbled over to the bar. He grabbed the first bottle available and poured a few shots into a smaller glass before downing it all in one gulp. He knew she was watching his every move. He knew she was disappointed.

"Nathan…"

"It's okay. It's just for sleep, okay?"

She simply nodded. What else could she do or say? He managed a smile and put an arm around her as they walked back upstairs together. He helped her into bed and climbed in beside her.

"I love you", she said softly.

"I know", he sighed. "I know. I love you, too."


	84. Work It Out

**_Author's Note: Sophie, you're onto me, lol. I've been found out. Yes, it's true I do have dinner with Megan, Nathan and Haley everynight! LOL..._**

**_Tried to fix broken links to this story and others. Sorry for the inconvenience. Let me know if you guys are still having trouble..._**

Jake groaned in his sleep as the loud and irritatingly persistent banging just wouldn't stop. He opened one eye slowly, then the other just in time for Peyton to stir in his arms. The noise continued making it painfully obvious that it wasn't a dream.

"What in the hell?" his voice grumbled, still heavy with sleep. "It's like two in the morning. Who could be at the door at this hour."

He sat up and swung his feet over the edge of the bed not bothering to reach for a robe or tee shirt to cover his nicely chiseled abs and chest. Peyton followed suit and followed him out of their bedroom.

"Mom? Daddy?" Jenny called out sleepily from her bed.

"It's okay, pumpkin", he said. "Go back to sleep."

The two headed downstairs and towards the front door and the annoying stranger on the other side of it. Jake went to turn the lock but Peyton grabbed his wrist.

"Don't", she whispered.

"What?"

"Jake! It…what if it's a robber?"

Jake rolled his eyes.

"Babe, burglars don't knock, okay?"

She nodded uneasily but grabbed a nearby umbrella just in case. Jake couldn't help but laughed as he opened the door.

"It's about freaking time", an exasperated Brooke pushed her way through. "It's cold outside, you know? I could have caught pneumonia."

Jake wrinkled his nose.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Philadelphia with Lucas?"

"I guess Philly turned out to be no my kind of town and please do not mention 'he who cannot be named', Jagielski."

Jake nodded and turned to Peyton.

"I think I'll let you handle this one."

"Thanks", she half smiled, kissing him before he headed back upstairs.

"P. Sawyer, I need to move in", Brooke announced, opening the fridge and helping herself to a can of Diet Coke.

"Excuse me? Brooke, you show up unexpectedly and alone in the middle of the night…what's going on? And how about a 'hello, how are you?' first?"

"Fine", the brunette rolled her eyes. "Hello. How are you? I need to move in."

Peyton couldn't help but laugh.

"Okay, let's sit down and try to talk this one out first. Can I go out on a limb and guess you and Lucas…"

"Hey!"

"Sorry. I meant, 'he who cannot be named', had a fight?"

"No. Actually we didn't. When two people fight it's usually because of a drastic difference of opinion, right?"

"Right."

"Well, Lucas had no opinion, or at least not one that made any sense", Brooke pouted.

"Talk to me. What happened?"

"Haley James is pregnant."

"Yeah…I heard that. It's like all over the news. I left a message but she hasn't returned my calls."

"Consider yourself lucky. Believe me, the best thing you can do is steer as far clear from that drama as possible."

"I know but I'm just concerned."

"So was Lu…you know who. That's why he went tramping up there like the patron do gooder saint of Tree Hill that he's always been."

"Wait. Lucas went to see Haley? Weren't you guys supposed to be in Florida right now?"

"Damn right. My 48 hours of sun, fun, fashion, marathon sex and rubbing elbows with Jenny from the block and Marc, didn't happen. Know why? Because my so called boyfriend ran off to New York to console the artist formerly known as Tutor Wife and ditched me."

"Sorry."

"Not as sorry as I am. What a waste of a Brazilian wax."

"Brooke, I'm sure he's just worried."

"Well, she's a big girl and as naïve and innocent as she'd like for people to think she is, I'm sure the pop princess knows where babies come from so I have no pity for her. It's none of our business. That is strictly between her and Chris Keller."

"Chris?"

"Yeah or her baby's daddy, if you want to get technical."

"About that…I'm not so sure."

"What?"

"I just don't think Chris is the father of Haley's baby."

Brooke threw her hands in the air.

"You, too? I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone? Are you guys on drugs?"

"Haley told me she never slept with him."

"And you believe her?"

"Yes."

"Whatever", Brooke rolled her eyes.

"In all fairness, I'm like one of the only people who has kept in touch with her over all these years. We talked and in all that time she said nothing romantic ever went on with him. I do believe her. I don't want to be nosy but I do wish I knew what was going on. I just hope whoever the father is, he's a good guy and that he's going to be there for both Haley and the baby."

"Well according to Lucas, the baby's father is a certain basketball playing brother who has his hands full right now with his pregnant wife."

"Nathan?" Peyton practically yelled.

"Who else?"

"No. No way. That's impossible. I mean, Nathan has Meg and besides, when would he and Haley have had the time to make a baby? He hates her anyway."

"Let's just keep this between you and me, Pey, but let's say Mother Nature wasn't the only thing rocking the little mud shack in the Dominican."

Peyton's mouth fell open.

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Oh my God! That explains everything, why she crashed the wedding and…"

"Yep."

"Oh man. Poor Haley. Poor Nathan. Poor Megan."

"Poor me. I'm the one that missed J. Lo."

"Brooke!"

"Sorry."

"Who all knows?"

"Not that many people and certainly not Megan so let's keep this between us."

"Has anyone talked to Nathan?"

"No that I know of. I haven't."

"He should know. I just wonder what he's going to do."

"If he's smart? Nothing. And don't be so quick to rule out Chris."

"This is gonna sound weird but I know."

"Know what?"

"I know Nathan is the father. It doesn't make any sense but at the same time, it makes all the sense in the world. It's like the Dan, Karen and Deb thing happening all ovr again. The divorce, the tsunami, Haley at the reception…it's all coming together."

"Okay. Let's say you and Broody are right. If it is Nathan's baby, then why the hell is Haley letting them say it's Chris'?"

"I don't know", Peyton shrugged. "It's probably easier. Maybe it hurts too much. Maybe it's too complicated. God, she's probably so scared right now."

"How convenient."

"Dude, have a heart. Why do you hate her so much?"

"I don't hate her. I just don't feel sorry for her like you and Lucas. She made her own bed now she has to lie in it, that's all. That's just what I think."

"Well you know what I think? I think a long time ago she made a very difficult decision that was best for her but along the way, she made some mistakes that cost her dearly and she's been paying for them ever since. I think she is a wonderful, caring human being with real feelings and faults and she's confused and scared out of her mind right about now and she needs all the help and support she can get. And everything I just said, well I think that applies to Nathan, too. I understand that and Lucas does too."

"It was her mistake, Peyton. Haley left."

"Maybe so but don't repeat her mistake."

"What?"

"Lucas did what he had to do because he thought it was the right thing. He loves his friend and his brother and it hurts him to see them hurting. Maybe he went about it the wrong way leaving you behind but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. Look, relationships can be tough. I know that. Jake and I work at it everyday to keep everything going. It takes more than love. Sometimes you have to throw in understanding, commitment, trust, loyalty and a whole lot of sacrifice. But in the end it's worth it. I know how much you and Lucas love each other. You guys are finally happy and together. If you're going to spend the rest of your life blaming and resenting Haley, take a look in the mirror right now. You truly love Lucas? Don't do what Haley did then. Go home, Brooke. Work it out."


	85. The Clean Up Woman

Megan whistled a happy tune as she got down on her knees and began applying a fresh coat of Mop N Glow to the newly mopped tiles of the kitchen floor. It was the last touch to a house that was now spic and span. Not that it had ever been anywhere near dirty before. For Megan, cleanliness was next to godliness. She always liked to keep a tidy house, often being seen following her husband and cleaning up the trail of dirty socks and underwear he left behind on the floor.

She was in a good mood, the best one she could have been in. There was of course a lot on her mind but she was taking it all in stride. She had cut back considerably at work to make more time for Nathan and the child they were expecting. She didn't just want a pretty mansion on the hill, she wanted a real home for her family.

Her relationship with her husband had been a series of ups and downs. He had been a wild child when they first met. He was the most popular student on campus and his playboy reputation had well preceded him. But Megan wasn't impressed by things like that. She was probably the only girl at the school that didn't melt at the very mention of the famous or rather infamous jocks. Nathan liked that challenge and he liked her. He had fallen in love with her and for a while they enjoyed life in a perfect, euphoric, loving bubble.

She knew he had his problems. Drinking had always been an issue and so had his quick temper. Then there were the issues with his parents. A controlling, arrogant, ruthless father. A mother whose secrets and lies had destroyed his trust and altered his love for her. The enormous, relentless pressure to succeed at basketball. And finally his biggest demon…an ex wife he had loved who had betrayed him. It was all a part of Nathan and who he was but it wasn't what he liked to share or talk about. There was always a wall up, he was always on the defense somehow. He rarely let anyone in and next to Lucas, Megan had gone farther than anyone.

The marriage had been anything but a fairytale. It was tough to go through it and even tougher to keep up the outside façade that everything was perfect. But things had gotten better. Nathan had gotten better. The baby had done just what she hoped it would…it was bringing them closer together. She knew he did love her but the bond of sharing a child was the one tie that really binded them. Everything else would come together.

"Babe, what the hell are you doing?" Nathan chuckled as he entered their house.

He was home after a particularly grueling practice session preparing the team for a rough series of away games.

"My husband is home", she smiled.

"And you look kind of like my wife…except for the bandana and the rubber gloves."

"I was in a cleaning mood because the house was a mess and you know I can't have the house messy", she shrugged.

"I hardly believe that. Ask anybody…bar none, this is probably the cleanest house in the state."

"I take that as a compliment", she quipped.

Nathan grinned and shook his head.

"You know, Meg, they have these really cool new inventions out nowadays. It's this thing with a long handle with a squiggly head at the end…and it's called a mop."

"I know what a mop is, silly."

"Then why are you on your hands and knees? Don't get me wrong. You look incredibly sexy. I dig the Aunt Jemima look and I'm not one to ever complain about a woman on her knees", he joked.

"Perv", she laughed, tossing a rag at him. "And for your information, it's easier to coat the floor tile by tile this way."

"You should let me hire a maid."

"We don't need a maid."

"Yes, we do."

"No, we don't. I can do this myself."

"Megan, you're pregnant."

"Pregnant, not disabled."

"But what happens in a few months when it's gonna be virtually impossible or at least damned uncomfortable to do that? Or what about when the baby gets here? You're gonna need some help then."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Meg…"

"My mom did it and my grandmother did it just fine."

"Baby, I don't doubt you can do it but I don't want you to. Not when you don't have to. I just want to take care of you. I want to make this pregnancy and all the stuff after it, as easy on you as possible."

She sighed as she stood and removed the gloves. Her arms wrapped around her husband as their lips pecked.

"I know what you're trying to do, Nate and I love you for it. I promise I'll slow things down and if you really want, we could bring someone in…on one condition."

"Uh oh. What's that?"

"That she is as efficient as I am", Megan grinned. "I like the floors done a certain way and the carpets vacuumed and the dishes hand washed because face it, dishwashers don't really disinfect and I'm a stickler for a sanitary bathroom and of course the beds must be made a certain way and the laundry folded and…"

Nathan laughed out loud.

"So in other words you want me to hire you a Rosie?"

"Who's Rosie?"

"Wasn't that the name of that robot maid the Jetson's had? Because I don't know anyone else that's gonna be that anal about cleaning the house."

Megan playfully slapped his ass.

"You know you love me. And you can thank me later for cleaning your side of the closet, which was a real mess by the way."

"Hey, I clean", Nathan protested as they headed upstairs.

"Is that what you call it?"

Once inside their room, he looked it over, impressed. All his clothes were pressed and either neatly hung on racks or folded in drawers. His shoes were lined up perfectly next to hers.

"Nice work, Mrs. Scott. How much do I owe you?"

"You can pay me later in bed", she said saucily.

"When did you learn to talk dirty, Meg? They teach you that at Mass?"

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"And I took the liberty of straightening up that box that had all your junk in it. I threw a few things away."

Nathan shrugged.

"Okay. It was mostly crap anyway."

He sat on the bed and removed his sneakers. He emptied the pockets of his practice pants for change and the paper receipt from the credit card he had used to pay for lunch as well as empty gum wrappers fell out as well. Megan gave him the look and put her hands on her hips.

"Nathan Daniel!"

"What?" he laughed. "I wasn't gonna leave it there. Promise. I was just testing you babe, to see if you noticed."

"Well, I do, sir."

"Okay, okay. I'm going to the trash can", he stood. "See?"

She smiled approvingly as he dumped the contents in the bin. His smile quickly faded when he saw what else was in there. Sitting on the top of all the other trash, there it was. Nathan felt like he was going to explode.

"Baby, you okay?"

"Megan, did you throw this away?" he asked, pulling it out and showing it to her.

"Huh? Oh yeah. It was in your junk box."

"Well, it's not fucking junk."

She was taken aback by the sudden change of his tone.

"Nathan…"

"This isn't trash, okay? You had no right to throw this away!"

"Honey, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was important to you. It was just a dirty, old, plastic bracelet. It didn't look valuable or anything. It look like it came out of some machine you'd stick a quarter in or something."

"Oh so just because something doesn't cost a lot of money, all of a sudden it's useless?"

"No. Nathan, of course not. That's not what I meant. Sweetie…"

She touched his arm with her hand but he jerked away.

"Just save it, alright? Just…just shut up, Meg!"

She recoiled at his harsh words. Tears filled her eyes. It was starting again and she had no idea what had set him off…this time.

"I'm sorry", she mouthed.

He looked at her trembling, frightened, apologetic figure and instantly softened a little.

"It's cool, alright?" he sighed. "Look, it's fine. Just don't touch my stuff. Next time ask before you throw something away."

She nodded and watched as he slipped it in his pocket and retreated downstairs. She waited to follow him but didn't dare. Finally he made it to the one spot where stashed away was the secret safe deposit box. Nathan struggled with the combination to open it. His hands caressed the piece of cheap plastic before locking it away.

He had given it to Haley their first tutoring session. It had come out of a Cracker Jack box and at best was worth a quarter but price was irrelevant. It harbored more sentimental value than anything in his life. It had been the strongest symbol of their love. She had left it behind when she left him behind and it was the only tangible thing he had left of their time together. Hearts had been broken, pictures had been torched but when all was said and done, over the years that was the one item he could hold between his fingers. When he closed his eyes, it was just like holding her again.


	86. Love, Peace and Happiness

**_Author's Note: Enjoy! Heather Dawn, thanks for all the amazing and consistent feedback this week and thank you to Cathy whose last review absolutely cracked me up, lol!_**

The train had stopped and Lucas didn't even bother to hail a taxi. Although it was more than a few blocks, adrenaline alone had kept his feet pounding the sidewalks. He had run fast and hard until he was literally out of breath but it didn't matter. He wouldn't stop. He couldn't stop. Not until he was home. Not until he could see and talk to her again.

"Brooke!" he yelled as he burst through the door.

No answer.

He peered to the private garage where they housed their vehicles. Her car was gone. He dared not check the closets. It didn't matter. Something inside told him she was gone and never coming back.

He collapsed on the couch. It hurt. A lump formed in his throat. It felt like a hollow in the middle of his heart. The feeling of loneliness and emptiness was indescribable. It sucked. Brooke was gone. It was the worst thing in the world.

Lucas closed his eyes and suddenly it hit him. So many years before, alone in an empty apartment, that's exactly what his younger brother must have been feeling when Haley had walked out that door. A loss of hope. A profound sense of sadness. Feeling like your best friend had been taken away because in essence, she had.

Thank God he had some time off. He didn't know if he could handle being around people or practicing or God forbid playing in a game. His mind was on a million things and unfortunately, basketball wasn't one. He curled up on the couch under a warm blanket and he wanted to stay there…forever.

He certainly felt like it. He slept for hours. Hours and hours. He gave in to physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. His body could no longer take it. He slept through the day and on into the next day. It was the door opening that finally roused him from deep slumber. Lucas sat and rubbed his eyes, double checking that the vision of loveliness in front of him wasn't just a dream.

"Brooke…"

"I see you're back."

"You weren't here. I thought you left…for good."

"I did but Peyton and Jake wouldn't let me move in and seeing as those I don't have any other place to go and business and life are here, I kind of had to come back."

"I'm glad you did."

"Yeah…"

"Wait…Peyton and Jake? Brooke, did you drive all the way back to North Carolina?"

"Yes", she nodded. "Pretty stupid, huh? And I'm flipping exhausted. That drive is seriously no joke."

"Why'd you go there?"

"I was mad at you and I wanted to run away and there was nowhere else to run to", she answered honestly.

"I'm sorry."

"Me too, Broody. How…how did it go?"

Lucas shrugged.

"Looks like you were right."

"About?"

"It's not Nathan's. Chris is the father."

Brooke narrowed her eyes.

"Haley told you that."

"Not exactly. I didn't get to see her. She wasn't home."

"Then how…"

"Taylor."

"You mean, her pyro, psycho, slut of an older sister?"

"That's one way of putting it. Apparently Taylor lives there now."

"She told you it's Chris'?"

"Yeah."

"Wow. Um, how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know. How should I feel?"

"Did you want it to be Nate's kid?"

"Honestly? A part of me did."

"Why?"

"Because I'm selfish. Because even though I know the dramatic production that would have followed and all the people that would have been hurt, including the kid, it would have given me a chance to be really back in Haley's life. And it would have given me someone else to identify with and take care of…just like Keith did for me."

Brooke closed her eyes.

"You're a good man, Lucas Scott? You know that? And you can still be there for Haley and her baby. Maybe things worked out this way because it's best for everyone in the long run…especially the child."

"I know."

"You know how it was with you and Dan at first. And you know my parents. Being a good mom or dad and raising kids in a healthy, loving, stable environment is the most important thing you could do. Every child deserves that."

"You're right. I'm just sorry I hurt you, Brooke."

"I know. And I also know why you had to do it?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"For making me miss J. Lo? Oh hell yeah…but I'll get over it. I'll let you make it up to me. It's nothing a ski trip to Aspen, a Coach handbag, and a couple pairs of new shoes won't solve."

"Anything you want", he said truthfully. "Because you mean that much to me, Brooke. I love you and I mean that. With all my heart, babe."

"I know. And I love you, too. You're my Broody."

The couple kissed and embraced.

"I still have to talk to Nathan. He's my brother. But after that, I just want to enjoy spending my time with you."

She nodded.

"You think Haley will be okay?"

Lucas thought for a minute.

"I hope so. I won't push her. I'll always be there for her but I'll leave it up to her if and when she decides to have me in her life. Can you deal with that? I know she isn't one of your favorite people."

"It's not that, Luke."

"Brooke…"

"Can I be honest?"

"Of course?"

"You know you're the first and only man I've ever loved. I let my guard down quick with you and I trusted you and you really hurt me with the Peyton situation. For a while it made me bitter and angry and believe that there was no such thing as true love. To be that cold and closed off emotionally is a horrible thing because pretty soon you start to believe it and you become this hardened person. But seeing Nathan and Haley changed all that. They made me believe again. What they had was real and true and just beautiful. It sounds corny but they were my hope. And when she left…she kind of took my dreams with her. You know? Like, if those two can't make it, then who can? That sounds really stupid, huh?"

Lucas looked at her with sincere tears in her eyes.

"No. No, Brooke, that's not stupid."

"So Broody, I guess you weren't the only one who was a little selfish. Haley is a good person and I don't hate her. I hope she's okay just like I hope Nate and Meg are going to be okay. And their children. Peace and happiness. That's my wish for us. All of us."

Lucas sighed, burying his face into her sweet smelling hair as she nestled under the blanket with him. He held her close. As long as he had Brooke Davis in his life, he would always have peace and happiness. She was his sanity, his true love…his soul mate. God had blessed them and he mouthed a special prayer that some of that generosity would be bestowed upon, Nathan, Haley, Megan and the innocent babies the two women were carrying. He had a feeling deep in his heart that they were all gonna need all the blessings they could get.


	87. Nothing To Lose

It was the most eagerly anticipated match up of the regular NBA season. The Philadelphia arena was sold out as the fans filed in to watch the team and particularly, Lucas Scott take on the Charlotte Bobcats and his little brother, Nathan Scott. Brooke showed her pass to the security where she roamed about backstage. Lucas was suiting up and the brunette was shocked to run into Nathan outside the visitors' locker room.

"Hey you", she finally said.

"What's up?" he half grinned.

She shuffled her weight nervously. After all that had happened, it was an understatement to say that there was plenty of tension and uncomfortable silences. Brooke felt like a woman who knew too much.

"Um…ready for the game?"

"You mean ready to kick my brother's ass? Hell yeah", he laughed.

Brooke nodded and tried to smile.

"So uh…where's Megan?"

"At the hotel. She was feeling kind of tired."

"Oh", Brooke stated.

Things were still awkward. The two women who had once been bosom buddies hadn't spoken a word since the night of Brooke's disastrous going away party at Nathan and Meg's house. She knew a meeting was inevitable.

"But in the meantime, to keep you company, the VIP box will be filled with my parents so having to listen to Dan Scott commentate and coach from the stands should ensure that your evening is more pleasurable", he said sarcastically.

"Oh no", Brooke groaned with the roll of her eyes. "Kill me now!"

"It won't be that bad. Jake, Peyton and Jenny made it up, too."

"The Jagielski clan is here?" Brooke asked hopefully.

"Yeah. They should be in their seats now."

"Good. Pey and I need to talk anyway."

She turned on her heels to leave.

"Hey Brooke?"

"Yeah?"

"I, um…I hope you get to see Meg while you're up here. I know things didn't go too well last time you guys saw each other but she's really sorry."

Brooke nodded before leaving.

"Okay. I'll let her tell me that."

"Thanks", Nathan said quietly.

"Good luck out there tonight, Superstar", she winked.

Nathan watched her leave as his team prepared to take the floor for warm ups.

"Hey man. I was looking for you earlier."

Lucas.

"What's up, bro?" they knocked fists.

"Look, we need to talk, Nate. Any way we can get together after the game tonight?"

Nathan nodded.

"Yeah, no problem. What's up?"

Lucas looked uneasy.

"It's nothing. We'll just talk later, okay?"

After becoming so close over the years, the two men had the ability to take one look at the other and no when something was up. Lucas was hiding something heavy and Nathan could tell.

"Luke…"

"It's cool, dude. Just…"

"Man, come on. What, are we in third grade? 'I have something really big to tell you but I'll tell you later'. Come on, man. I hate that stupid shit. Whatever it is, just tell me now."

"I'm sorry I brought it up. Your mind needs to be on the court."

"It's a little too late for that, don't you think? Tell me, Lucas."

The older brother searched for words but were they really polite or politically correct terms to say what he had to say?

"The kid's not yours", he blurted out.

Nathan's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Haley's baby. It…it's Chris'."

The younger Scott tried to maintain his footing and ignore the lump forming heavily over his heart.

"What…how do you know? I mean…"

"Don't get pissed but I went to New York."

"You what?" Nathan hissed.

"I had to see her. I had to talk to her. Anyway, it's all true. Taylor confirmed it. I…I'm sorry, man. I don't know what to say/"

Nathan swallowed hard.

"Good, you know? I mean, I'm glad. Less drama for me to deal with."

"Nate…"

"I knew it wasn't mine."

"Man…"

"I hope she and Chris are very happy together", he whispered before running out onto the court.

The fans cheered for the teams as the announcements of the starting lineups commenced and the action began. All eyes eagerly awaited, especially from the VIP box. In heels, jeans, and a tight fitting designer sweater, Brooke took her seat, which happened to be next to Peyton. They were away from the prying eyes and ears of the others, stuffed in a private corner. The blonde smiled.

"You still mad at me, Davis?"

Brooke smirked.

"Yes."

"But I see you made it home and I take it all is well in the land of Broody and Cheery?"

"Yes. You were right and I was wrong. Want me to freaking hire a blimp to fly that around?"

Peyton thought for a minute.

"Uh…yes. That would be nice."

The two women took one look at each other and burst out laughing as they embraced.

"I was an idiot and I was wrong and I overreacted and you were right and thank you for showing me the error of my wicked ways, oh mighty Peyton."

"All is forgiven", she giggled.

"Good. And if you ever tell anyone I just admitted all that, I will be forced to kill you", Brooke smirked.

"Your secret is safe with me", Peyton smiled. "Now seriously…you and Luke make up?"

"Yeah. We're fine and uh…it looks like the papers were right. Chris is gonna be a daddy."

Peyton's mouth fell open.

"Oh my God", she muttered.

It wasn't real to her. Something in her gut told her different. She'd have to hear it from Haley herself and then she probably still wouldn't believe it. Something was up.

"Yeah but I think it's best that we all just stay out of it. Haley can come to us if she wants."

"Yeah, I guess. How is Lucas taking the news?"

"He's coping, I guess. It's hard."

"And Nathan?" Peyton asked carefully, looking up, making sure Dan and Deb were engrossed in the game and not in their conversation.

"I don't know. He seemed okay. Meg's not here. She's resting in their hotel room."

Peyton nodded but both women wondered exactly how much Nathan knew. They watched him on the court and it didn't take long to know something was wrong. Gone was the man Brooke had exchanged friendly banter with an hour before. He was tense and moody, aggressive and seemingly unfocused. Much to the home crowd's delight and particularly Dan's dismay, he turned the ball over three times in the first quarter alone. His moves were messy and uncoordinated and he took risky shots from the three point line, going 0 for 6. The coach was livid and four early fouls had the younger Scott on the bench by halftime.

If Nathan had royally screwed up, Lucas, the crown prince had delivered for the fans. 17 points, 9 rebounds, 4 assists and 1 steal in two quarters, along with the always superb play of Allen Iverson and the dead on three point shooting of Kyle Korver had the 76ers up by 10.

"What the hell is wrong with your son?" Dan shook his head, sneering at Deb.

Jake, Peyton and Brooke exchanged looks before deciding to talk about happier and lighter issues during halftime. The mood was good inside the Wachovia Center and in the 6ers locker room but not so much for the Bobcats and in particularly Nathan who had his ass chewed by the coach for 10 full minutes.

They returned for the second half of the game where Nathan's third quarter performance seemed to improve vastly. But it was the top of the fourth when all hell broke loose. He was dribbling towards the basket, set up brilliantly by Malik Allen for the easy two point lay up when he felt something push him from behind. It was the body of Samuel Dalembert that threw him to the floor. It was an accident, just the nature of the game that caused players to get physical sometimes.

"You alright, man?" Sam offered his hand to the opposing Nathan.

"What the fuck, dude?" Nathan angrily charged after him.

Malik grabbed his jersey and Lucas quickly intervened.

"Calm down, man. It was an accident."

Just when it seemed Nathan had that famous Scott temper under control, they turned him loose. Sulking and stalking his way up the court, he huffed and puffed, feeling anger build as finally he yanked off his arm band and chucked it into the crowd.

Lucas hung his head. Dan cursed out loud. Everyone knew what that meant. It was a technical foul and Nathan's first. Usually it took two to get kicked out of a game but throwing something into the audience was cause for immediate ejection.

"Number 23, Nathan Scott, you're out of here, son…"

He smirked and took off his jersey leaving it on the floor. The talented young man who had everything and was throwing it all away. On the way out he looked up into the menacing eyes of his father. Nathan grinned. Why not? He had nothing else to lose.


	88. Stripped

**_Author's Note: Gaby...excellent review! That made my day, lol..._**

"Idiot! Imbecile! Stupid fool! Brainless maggot!"

"Dad…" Lucas interrupted.

But Dan wasn't through. After the end of the game, after the media interviews and long after the masses had begun filing out to the parking area, in the green room sat Deb, Lucas, Brooke, Peyton, Jenny, Jake and a smirking Nathan with an irate Dan.

"It's cool, Luke", Nathan interjected. "Go for it, Dad. Come on. I could sit here all night. What else you got? Dumbass? Fucking moron?"

"Actually yes and yes but now is not the time to get cute, Nathan. What the hell is your problem?"

"I have no problems, Dad. In fact, I'm feeling real good. And since my brother's team not only won the game, but he scored a career high in points, I think it's only fitting that we celebrate. What do you say, everybody?"

"It's late, Deb", sighed.

"Yeah", Peyton added. "Jenny's tired."

"No, I'm not", the little girl whined.

"Yes, you are", Peyton pinched her.

"I think I'll pass on the celebrating", Brooke noted, only imagining what Nathan had in mind.

"Well, I can't hang with the Tree Hill party poopers tonight", Nathan shrugged. "I guess I'll celebrate by myself. I'll check you guys later."

Lucas gave Brooke a look and she just nodded. She understood. It wouldn't be wise to leave him all alone to do God knows what.

"It's my celebration, right, little brother?"

Nathan smiled.

"Alright. What about you, Jagielski? Peyton, are you willing to cut the apron strings for one evening?"

"Jake can do what he wants", the blonde said coolly.

"I'm in, man", Jake answered after a pleading look from Lucas.

"Okay. Let's get this party started then. I know just the place."

"That's exactly what I was afraid of", Lucas muttered under his breath.

"Don't wait up, Deb", Dan said.

"Who invited you?" Nathan snorted.

"I invited myself, son. Besides, someone needs to babysit you."

"If that's your excuse", Nathan laughed. "Just know I'm not responsible if your ass has another heart attack."

The women exchanged worried glances as their men went off into the night with Nathan. In the center of town, the three Scotts plus one found themselves at the hottest strip club in town.

"Strippers?" Jake questioned.

"They prefer the term 'exotic dancers'", Nathan joked. "Now come on, Jagielski. Grow some balls and change out for some one dollar bills. We're gonna have a good time."

The bouncer immediately recognized two celebrities and the foursome was given the VIP treatment. Drinks flowed freely and Nathan dove right in. He warmed up with a couple of beers before helping himself to champagne and finally shots of any and everything that was being brought out to them.

"Dude, you want to slow down?" Lucas asked.

Nathan just laughed as he put 500 cash on the table.

"Are you my brother or my mother? Come on, man. We're here to have a good time. Relax. The bill's on me, tonight. And remember…what happens at the strip club, stays at the strip club."

Lucas continued nursing his first beer as the first lady, an exotic looking beauty with huge breasts and a skimpy G string sauntered her way over to the table. It was as if they could smell the money.

"Hey handsome", she cooed at Nathan.

"What's up, sexy?" he asked, stuffing a 20 in her panty line. "What's your name?"

"Alexa."

"Nice to meet you, Alexa. I'm…"

"I know who you are. You're Nathan Scott. I've seen you in all the papers but uh…you're much hotter in person. You want a lap dance, baby?"

"Maybe later but how about one for the Old Man?"

"Nathan…" Dan whispered tersely.

Alexa smiled.

"You mean to tell me this gorgeous, sexy, hunk of a man is your father?"

Dan grinned at the dancer.

"Well, I did start young…"

She returned his smile and began to straddle him, letting him untie her bikini top as she danced for him right at the table.

"Who knew that was all it took to shut him up?" Nathan laughed. "What about you two?"

"Nah", Jake said.

"Come on, Jagielski. Peyton won't mind. And neither will Brooke. Okay, of course Brooke will mind but she doesn't have to know. It's a guys' night out, right? You two stiffs pick out the two hottest babes in here and I got it covered. Drinks and private dances for all."

"No thanks, man", Lucas said.

"Suit yourself", Nathan shrugged. "Your loss."

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom", Jake said before getting up.

"Yeah right", Nathan loudly called out after him. "Tell Peyton I said 'hi' when you call her, you pussy whipped motherfucker."

"Dude…" Lucas began.

"I'm cool. Jake knows I'm just teasing."

"You okay?"

"I'm great, man. Never been better."

"I mean it. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Nate, I'm sorry about Haley…"

"Don't be. Shit happens, you know? It's cool. I'm living my life and she can go live hers. I sincerely hope she and Rock Star are very happy together."

"Nathan…"

"What? I mean it. Maybe I should send them a telegram", he quipped.

"Don't be a dick, man. Look, I know it hurts…"

Nathan looked his brother right in the eye.

"I'm okay. I've got my life and my own kid to think about and I'm happy with that. Haley can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants."

"I know. It just…"

"Just what?"

"It just sucks that she lied to me. You know, about sleeping with Chris."

"Yeah it does suck but I'm not surprised. She lied to me at first about kissing him. Hell, she was probably fucking him the whole time", he took another drink. "Oh well. Hope that prick enjoys my sloppy seconds."

Lucas opened his mouth but what could he say?

"Just…I don't know what to think either but don't go back to that. Don't disrespect her, Nate."

"She already disrespected herself", he said quietly as Jake returned.

The men sat in silence until a beautiful blonde named, Golda, approached them. Long hair, perfect tan, gorgeous but fake breasts and sparkling green eyes. She was 5 feet 10 inches of perfection.

"Private dance?" she offered.

Nathan nodded and she took his hand.

"Hey Nate", Lucas called out.

"I'm good. Just hold down the fort for me guys and make sure Dad doesn't need us to call 911", he laughed.

They moved to the "champagne room" where the old classic from Akinyele, "Put In Your Mouth" began to play. The lights dimmed and the Golda quickly removed her sexy red dress. She danced seductively to the music, humping his leg as she removed her bra and thong. She was totally naked and totally hot, writhing all over him.

Like any human male, Nathan's manhood rose to attention but his focus was more on his drink replenishment than sex. Golda tried to kiss him but he kept moving his face away.

"You want to fuck me?" she whispered.

"Not really", he took another sip.

She looked crushed for a minute but rebounded quickly when he tossed her a 50 dollar bill. Sinking seductively to her knees, she undid his belt and he lifted his hips to assist in easing his pants down. Golda massaged his massive erection through his boxers before lowering her mouth to pleasure him. He didn't make a noise, only took another drink before callously guiding her head in the right direction and pace. He threw his head back, on the verge of coming when the curtain opened.

"Dude, what the fuck?"

Golda and Nathan looked. Saint Lucas to interrupt the moment and save the day.

"Bro, give me a break. She's pretty good. You can have Goldie when I'm done."

"It's Golda", she pouted.

"Whatever."

Lucas marched over and grabbed the drink from Nathan's hand.

"Fucking idiot!"

"Hey! What are you doing?"

"Pull your pants up. We're leaving!

"Why? Party's just starting."

"No, Nathan, it's ending! You're going back to the hotel…to your pregnant wife!"

Nathan rolled his eyes and stumbled as he struggled to get dressed. Lucas dragged him out.

"Luke…"

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up! I can't believe you, Nathan! You go from one extreme to another!"

"Dude, it was just a little head. It's not cheating."

Lucas wanted to punch Nathan in his big fat head but it was no use. His little brother had already passed out in a heap on the floor.


	89. Out Of Her League

Breakfast started later than planned and Peyton had her doubts about the morning meeting scheduled in the private dining area of the ritzy hotel. Jake had arrived late back to their suite the night before and when she groggily asked him how it all went, he had just given her a look and shook his head. Something told her the drama had been in full force, therefore creating the opportunity for it to spill over to the next day. The last thing she wanted to see was a catty confrontation and was relieved when Jenny had been too tired to join her. Peyton would have to deal with the theatrics of her friends but the least she could do was spare her daughter.

Deb managed a small smile when the younger blonde finally made it to the otherwise empty room.

"Where is everyone?" Peyton asked.

"Looks like we're it. I'm glad you made it."

"Brooke didn't call?"

"Not yet."

Peyton sighed.

"I take it things went that bad last night, huh?"

Deb shrugged.

"I honestly don't even want to think about it. Dan came back to the room smelling like cheap liquor and even cheaper perfume."

"I'm sure it was okay, Deb. Lucas and Jake wouldn't let anything too crazy happen."

"I hope not. I'm not worried about Dan, though. It's my son that has me up in arms", the mother said worriedly.

"I'm sure Nathan is okay."

"I don't know, Peyton. Nathan hasn't been okay for a very long time."

"He's been through a lot. He's just trying to deal with it all, Deb. It must be so hard for him. Nathan is…"

"Nathan is what?"

Peyton and Deb's attention turned towards the door where a five months pregnant Megan had just entered.

"Megan…hello", Deb said startled.

"Brooke didn't come?"

"Uh, she will. She's probably just running a little late."

The three women stood and exchanged hugs.

"Deb and I were just talking about Nathan's game last night", Peyton fibbed.

"Oh that", Megan sighed. "I heard."

"He was pretty upset?" Deb questioned.

"Oh no. I mean, I heard where I normally hear all the news about my husband. I heard it on TV. I haven't talked to Nathan. As of ten minutes ago, he was still passed out in our hotel bed, clothes and shoes still on."

"Sorry", Peyton mumbled.

"It's okay. I'm kind of used to it by now."

"But I thought things were getting better?" Deb asked hopefully.

"They were. Things were going great until a couple of weeks ago. It's funny. Nathan can be this really wonderful, amazing, loving, fun human being and then the smallest thing can set him off and all of a sudden it's like, what the hell happened to my husband? Where did he go? He just becomes this cold, distant, dark, angry monster of a stranger."

"What happened?"

"I was cleaning the house and his side of the master closet was a mess. He has this box full of crap and I had been begging him since we moved in the house to get rid of it. So I went through it and most of it looked like trash and I never see him use anything in there anyway so I tossed most of it. When he came home, I told him and he was fine with it until he looked in the garbage and saw this bracelet I had thrown out."

"Bracelet?"

"Yeah. If you could even call it that. It was this cheap, plastic thing that at best maybe came from gum ball machine…"

"Or a Cracker Jack box…" Peyton whispered absently.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

Meg's eyes narrowed.

"I think it is something. Peyton, what do you know?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"Peyton…"

"Megan, I'm sorry. Alright? I just honestly don't want to be involved in all this anymore. Maybe you should talk about this with Nathan…"

"Why?" she threw her hands up. "Does it really matter? It's not like he's gonna talk back. He'll either fly off the handle and start yelling or he'll shut down completely. Either way, I'm still kept in the dark. So I have to look past my own pain and frustration and like the dutiful Southern Catholic wife, wait until his episode is over so our lives can return to normal. Then things are perfect for a while all in the back of my mind, I'm terrified knowing the ridiculous cycle is just going to repeat itself all over again at any given moment."

"Sweetie, I'm sorry", Deb whispered.

"Megan…"

"No. Don't look at me like that. With your pity. 'Poor Meg. Poor, stupid Meg'."

"No, honey", Deb shook her head. "No one thinks that about you."

"Yes you do", she laughed bitterly. "You all do. Well, you know what? I'm not as dumb or naïve as you all think I am. I know that bracelet is Haley James'. Or it at least has something to do with her. Tell me I'm wrong, Peyton."

Peyton just hung her head.

"Meg…"

"You won't because you can't. Know how I know? Because no matter what happens or where it goes, it all keeps coming back to Haley James. It always does."

Megan wiped away at tears as her friend and mother in law, bewildered, had no words of comfort or advice. Deep in their hearts, they knew she was right.

"Okay, where are the pancakes, scrambled eggs, grits and oatmeal? Because it's winter and I can splurge a little bit but no one in this freaking room better spill to Broody because I bet him a hundred bucks I could stick to a breakfast diet of a grapefruit, plain bagel and glass of unsweetened cranberry juice."

All eyes turned their attentions to a fashionably late and fabulously dressed Brooke Davis. Peyton sighed. Why couldn't her brunette best friend ever just make a quiet, discreet entrance like every other normal person? No. It would have been more subtle if she'd had armored knights announce her presence with bugles.

"Hello, Brooke", Deb looked away.

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"You three look like a fun bunch."

There was already underlying tension from Brooke and Megan's last encounter and the dark haired woman had been apprehensive about their next meeting.

"Brooke", Megan nodded.

So much for Nathan's promised apology, Brooke thought.

"Hello all", she said cheerily. "Now what are we gossiping about? I am absolutely starved!"

"Um, we were just…we were…"

Peyton couldn't even come up with a good enough distraction.

"We were just talking about my husband's latest escapade and my farce of a marriage and the fact that we all have Haley James to thank for that."

"Haley?" Brooke asked. "What does she have to do with this?"

"Everything", Megan laughed sarcastically. "This time? Apparently the resurrection of her stupid toy bracelet and my subsequent throwing it away, has now sent my husband once again into a depressed drinking binge."

"You mean the Cracker Jack bracelet?" Brooke frowned. "He still has that?"

"Brooke!" Peyton kicked her under the table.

"Ow! What?"

"Just great", Megan muttered. "When will it end? What will it take? What do I have to do to get that conniving little bitch to stay out of our lives?"

"Megan…" Peyton sighed.

"No. Don't defend her. I know she's your friend but please don't sit there and pretend like she's Little Miss Innocent. Before Haley came back, my life was great. Nathan was great. It was her fault the initial annulment didn't go through and her fault they ended up almost killed in Santa Domingo. She crashed my wedding reception and humiliated me and just when my life is coming back together and I'm enjoying my pregnancy, she has to dramatically announce hers! God, I can't even have one thing! It's always something and now it's a goddamned bracelet!"

"Meg…"

"I hate her! I absolutely hate her! She is evil and she's a troublemaker! You know, Dan was right. She pulls this shit on purpose. She intentionally stirs up all this drama and she keeps playing this sick little game in that twisted imagination of hers where her idea of fun is to see how far she can tug on Nathan's puppet strings. She did it seven years ago and she's doing it now. Just when he's happy and okay, she tries to reel him back in. No one else can see that because in your eyes she's still the innocent, sweet, high school tutor. Bullshit! And I'm not buying it anymore! I'm tired! She's not going to do it again! She won't ruin my life or my child's! This is done! That no good, no class having, shit for brains, piece of trash whore…"

"Megan, I know you're upset but calm down", Peyton begged.

Brooke shook her head. She couldn't take anymore.

"Meg, you're sick of Haley? Well, I am just about sick of you. You are seriously on my last nerve. Come off it with the pity party, why don't you? Wah, wah! I don't feel sorry for you just like I didn't feel sorry for Haley. She made her choices, just like you make yours. You're both responsible for your own misery and everybody's else's while we're on the subject. Know who I really feel sorry for? Nathan! First of all he had to put up with Dan's bullshit, then his wife left him, then she came back and now he's stuck in the middle of two crazy bitches! I'm done with it all! I'll watch General Hospital if I want this much drama. I mean, really. Hell, the days of our real life lives have more production than Days Of Our Lives! Megan, the real problem isn't with Haley and I think you know that. Open your eyes and smell the Starbucks, kiddo! The problem is with you and Nathan. And if he keeps treating you like crap and it feels like he doesn't love you, then maybe it's time to rethink a few things and get out now while you still can before you bring an innocent child into all this bullshit and royally fuck him or her up, too. Haley might be an easy scapegoat but at least she's moving on with Chris and her kid. More power to her, to all of them! But don't talk shit about her to make yourself feel better because your own life is going down the crapper. Haley James is a lot of things but you don't know any of them because you don't know her! You never did so you have no right! So what, I think she was a bitch for leaving Nathan and everybody behind, including me, but I can say that because I'm her friend and I love her. But you can't. So next time you want to piss and moan at the world because your life isn't so perfect, remember you knew what you were getting into when you married Nathan. Blaming Haley for everything obviously isn't working and neither is hoping and praying that having a kid might miraculously save your sinking ship of a marriage so you might want to move on to Plan B, if you have one and if not? You better think one up quick."

Deb and Peyton, jaws dropped to the floor, stood there dumbfounded. Megan could barely breathe. If looks could kill, Brooke would have been a dead woman. Meg was angrier than she'd ever been but she was hurt, too. Brooke's words, once again, had devastated her and torn her whole world upside down. She stared daggers at the woman she had once considered a friend. No more. Now Brooke Davis was one of them. A Haley supporter, a liar, an imposter, a heartless winch…an enemy.

Without a second thought, Megan grabbed the beverage dispenser and dumped a gallon of orange juice all over Brooke and her cream cashmere sweater.

"You're a bitch", she whispered coldly, before walking away.

Out of reflex, Brooke started after her, then stopped after regaining what was left of her composure.

"No. You're the bitch, Nathan's stupid bitch, if you want to get technical about it. And you're lucky you're pregnant because that baby is the only thing that saved my foot from connecting with your ass."

"I feel sorry for Lucas", she mumbled as she exited.

"Yeah? Well, I feel sorry for Nathan and your kid!"

Brooke grabbed a napkin and began dabbing at her clothes.

"You okay?" Peyton finally asked.

"I am. Wish I could say the same for my sweater. Nathan is so going to get a bill for this."

"You were a little harsh…"

"No. I was a little truthful. Besides, she started it and she was way out of her line…and out of her league."

Deb put her head in her hands.

"I…I can't just leave her. I have to go after her."

"Deb…"

"That's my grandchild in there."

They looked in her eyes and nodded, understanding.

"So I guess that ruins breakfast", Peyton sighed.

"Not for me…oooh bacon", Brooke grabbed at a plate.

Peyton shook her head.

"You really meant all that?"

"Yeah I did. I don't hate Megan but she has to take control of her own destiny and quit with the selfishness and wishful thinking. Despite the fact that I was about to go all Muhammad Ali on her ass, I do care about her and what happens to her baby. And I care about Nathan, too."

"What about Haley?" Peyton asked softly. "You care about her too?"

"Yeah", Brooke nodded. "I do."

Peyton smiled.

"Brooke, Brooke, Brooke. Dude, what am I gonna do with you?"

"What?" the brunette smiled innocently.

"My sweet, heart of gold having, shopaholic, narcissistic, debutante, cheerleader best friend. You've been kicking ass and taking names since the sandbox", she laughed.

"It's the shoes", Brooke grinned, showing off her new boots. "It's got to be the shoes."

"I wish I had your balls."

Brooke smiled whimsically as she bit into a huge piece of cheese toast.

"One day, P. Sawyer. One day."


	90. The Seed Of Doubt

Lucas took the phone call in the bedroom, the door slightly ajar as he spoke in a hushed tone. With everything that had happened, the last thing he needed was noise in his ear but there seemed to be no way out. He listened and every few seconds made a noise to make it appear as if he were remotely interested in the conversation. Finally it was over.

"You okay, Broody?" Brooke asked, as he returned to the common area.

He rubbed his tired eyes.

"No. Actually, I'm not, Brooke. As soon as we drop Jake, Peyton and Jenny off at the airport, I am gonna have a grueling five hour plus practice. I'm tired as hell and my shoulder is killing me. I've got some tough road games coming up and did I just mention I had to hear it from my brother for the last half hour about what you did to Megan yesterday."

"Sorry", she shrugged.

"Sorry? Babe, you can't go around doing stuff like that."

"She started it."

"Then you be the bigger person."

"I didn't do anything bad, Lucas. I was just being honest."

"You hurt her feelings."

"So?"

"So she's pregnant and she doesn't need to be upset like that."

"Fine", Brooke sighed. "Are you mad at me, Broody?"

"Yes", Lucas answered. "What you did was rude and harsh and blunt and…"

"Do you like this color?"

"What?" Lucas asked.

"This color on my toes. I just painted them. It's new. Pink Rosary they call it. Do you like it?"

"Brooke!"

"What?" she shrugged.

"Jesus, baby! I'm trying to talk to you about something serious."

"No, you're trying to lecture me because someone, me, finally had the balls to tell Megan like it is, and she can't handle the truth so she runs home crying to Nathan and he calls you yelling."

"It wasn't that bad", Peyton finally spoke up. "Granted things got a little out of control towards the end but Megan was holding her own and she said some pretty harsh things about Haley."

"Not to mention my sweater. My beautiful, new, one of a kind cashmere sweater that the psycho ruined. Megan is such a mental case. She's a bitc…", Brooke stopped mid sentence, looking right at little Jenny. "God, she's such a b-i-t-c-h."

"Bitch?" Jenny answered.

"Jennifer Eve Jagielski!" Peyton exclaimed.

"When did you learn how to spell?" Brooke frowned.

"Aunt Brooke, I'm eight!"

"Oh."

"I don't care how old you are, Madam", Peyton scolded. "No cursing. What? Do you think you're an Osbourne or something?"

"Listen to your mother, Jen", Jake nodded.

"God, I didn't do anything bad. I was just repeating what Aunt Brooke said", the child protested.

"Well you know right from wrong and you know what not to repeat", the father said in a more stern voice.

"Dad!"

"How about spelling and repeating this? You're g-r-o-u-n-d-e-d!"

"Grounded?" Jenny answered, her smile quickly fading when she realized just what that meant. "Aw man!"

"Jenny, why don't you go hang out in me and Brooke's room?" Lucas offered. "You can watch cartoons on the TV without having all of us grownups interrupting you."

"Thank God", the child muttered as she pouted all the way to the back.

"You watch your mouth, Missy!" Jake called out.

"Gosh, she has such an attitude", Peyton groaned.

"I think she's sassy", Brooke shrugged.

"Brooke!"

"What? Pey, sassy is good. I was sassy at the age."

"Still are."

Brooke winked.

"Babe, about this Megan thing…"

"I'm not apologizing, Lucas. And she didn't even say she was sorry for what happened before."

Lucas took a deep breath. It was tearing him apart.

"This is ridiculous", Jake sighed. "Peyton and I are in the middle and Lucas, man, you spend more time worrying about Nathan, Megan, and Haley's relationship than you do about your own with Brooke."

"I know", he said quietly.

"This has got to stop", Jake said. "We can't keep going on like this. It's way too much."

"Hel-lo!" Brooke piped up. "Is this not what I've been saying for like ever? If Nathan doesn't love Megan and is just with her for the kid, then let them deal with that. And if Chris and Haley want to play house and start a family, then that's none of our business either. Face it, she's been out of all our lives for a while. Let's just let everybody do their own thing and worry about ourselves."

"Sounds good", Jake nodded. "Lucas? Peyton? You guys in?"

"I guess", Lucas finally spoke. "Pey?"

Peyton shrugged. Of course she wanted to join the majority and be "in" but she couldn't quite shake that nagging feeling in her heart or the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"I…"

"Peyton, what's wrong?"

"I don't know. I…I just…something tells me that this is even more complicated than it already is."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I think that Haley is carrying Nathan's baby."

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Are we on that again, P. Sawyer? Tutor Mom said…"

"No, Brooke. Taylor said…right, Luke?"

Lucas' eyes met Peyton. He knew what Taylor said. He had believed her. But after leaving New York, he still felt weird.

"Yeah."

"Then who's to say it's really true? I won't believe anything until I hear it out of Haley's mouth. Then I'll believe it and only then. When I can look in her eyes because when she told me before, I really believed her. When all those rumors were floating around about Chris and it seemed like the obvious that they were together, she told me point blank that they weren't sleeping together. I believed her then and I'll only believe that Chris Keller is the father, when I hear it from her mouth."

"Peyton, that's stupid", Brooke scoffed. "Haley James is a huge star. With one phone call to her publicist, she could straighten this whole mess out. But she hasn't. She hasn't breathed one word. Everybody thinks it's Chris', it's all in the papers and on TV and they sure do look cuter than Justin and Cameron tooling around New York holding hands. If it looks like a duck and it quacks like a duck…"

"I'm not convinced, Brooke", Peyton said. "And Lucas you don't look like you are either."

"It doesn't matter", Brooke offered. "Don't you two, see? It doesn't matter if it is or it isn't. It's not our place or our business or our lives. Their lives and their drama are taking our lives over. That's not fair. We have to let it go. Now none of us particularly likes these recent nasty little altercations that have been happening. None of us wants to take sides or be in the middle. None of us wants to lose any more sleep than we already have over this mess. I say right here, right now, we all agree to just let it go."

"Brooke…"

"She's right", Jake nodded. "We all know that. So let's make a pact from here on out, we don't get involved. Okay?"

"Sounds good to me", Brooke put her hand over Jake's. "Broody?"

Lucas took a deep breath. What other choice did he have? What else could he really do?

"I'm in", he added his hand. "Peyton?"

The curly haired blonde was the last and the most reluctant to join the others.

"Babe?" Jake prodded.

She ran her fingers through her hair and placed her hand on top of the pile of her boyfriend and two friends.

"Okay."

"Good", Brooke squealed. "Now that that's all done. You guys can spend your last few hours in Philadelphia doing something fun."

Peyton forced a smile but she wasn't smiling on the inside. She felt uneasier than ever. As her eyes looked up, she could feel Lucas staring at her. She knew that look. It was a common bond. As usual, they were on the same wavelength. Something wasn't right. The seed of doubt had been planted and they could almost feel it in their bones.


	91. Desperate Housewives

**_Author's Note: Thanks for all the love and the reviews and just for not getting bored with this story. I have been reading all your feedback and I love it and sincerely look forward to seeing each one. Even if you are a multiple reviewer and you feel you're repeating yourself, I enjoy it just the same because your thoughts mean a lot to me and your enthusiasm keeps me motivated._**

**_Jess...I am totally scoffing right now! I hate when you actually have to do work or "mommy" stuff and I get zero attention from you. (Dramatic Sigh) I guess I'll be okay. First Socks loses last night and now you. Gee, my life is going down the crapper faster than Meg's. Oh well. You can make it up to me later by singing me your original remix of J. Lo's "Get Right" and Annie's "Tomorrow", lol..._**

**_Kumary, I tried to give Haley a call last night like you said to tell her about Nathan but sorry, she's just not answering her phone, lol...Thanks for the support, Mami! You rock!_**

**_Frisky-Feline, congratulations! You have just been hired as my new agent! Lol! Dude, thanks for the compliments. You're too kind. I appreciate it. I would love to write for the WB (or anybody) so if anyone out there knows Mark Schwahn..._**

Megan tapped her foot impatiently as she waited in the shortest line of the grocery store, which may have been the longest as far as she was concerned, as she had been standing for over ten minutes. What didn't people get about the express lane? 12 items or less it plainly stated but that was not stopping the grandmother in front of her who was taking her sweet time unloading her full cart, item by item. Meg stared at her cottage cheese, pineapple slices and mineral water for a moment before deciding that they were actually worth the wait. They were but something else had managed to capture her attention. She found herself salivating at the idea of the jumbo Butterfinger. One wouldn't hurt. Hell, two wouldn't hurt, she thought as she grabbed them. In her haste, her elbow accidentally rocked the magazine stand to her rear left, sending a few papers scattering about on the floor by the man behind her.

"I'm so sorry", she apologized sweetly as she bent down to pick them up.

"I'll get them, ma'am", she offered.

"Thank you", she said as they retrieved the last of them and placed them back in their rightful spots.

It was only when she saw a picture of a seemingly drunken Nathan on the cover did she realize that he was in fact the gossip fodder for the week. Indeed it was the juicy kind of stuff people loved to see. A plastered celebrity leaving a seedy strip club of all places.

"You okay, Miss?" the friendly man in line asked after seeing the pregnant woman's face turn a pale and ghostly white.

Megan opened her mouth but couldn't speak. Instead she grabbed every rag that had Nathan's picture on it.

"Next", the clerk instructed.

Megan began clumsily throwing her things onto the register, which she had to grab for support.

"How are you today?"

"Fine", she managed to squeak out.

The lady began ringing up her things, smirking as she scanned the magazines.

"Gotta love these things, don't you?" she grinned as she popped her gum. "I read them during my lunch break. It's nice to hear about the woes of the better half. I swear, rich people are always doing something stupid. Look at this Nathan Scott guy with some trashy dancer all over him. It's a damn shame. He's married, isn't he?"

Megan nodded as her sweaty palms delivered the cash to pay for her goods. She grabbed the bags and fled the store, not even bothering to wait for her change. She hopped in her car and drove straight home, parking directly in front of the door. Her hands shook violently as she tried to open the door. Once she was in, she ran to the downstairs bathroom and sank to the floor as she began flipping through the pages.

Apparently while she had been resting in a Philadelphia hotel after the game, her husband, father in law and two friends had ventured out for a little late night partying.

Meg didn't make a sound as she tried to make her eyes focus on and comprehend the words. She didn't hear the front door open up and she didn't hear her husband calling out for her. Nathan called her name several times as he noticed her car was in the driveway. Finally he saw the light on in the bathroom.

"Meg, you in there?" he knocked.

No answer. Nathan sighed. Things had been tense to say the least, ever since Philadelphia. Hungover, exhausted and in major pain, the last thing Nathan wanted, needed or expected was for his furious wife to come stomping in their hotel room screaming a host of obscenities. It had taken him forever to calm her down and after the anger came the tears. She had been so upset she could barely speak but Nathan was able to make out that there had been an argument between her and Brooke where hurtful words had been exchanged and a humiliated and offended Megan had dumped juice all over Brooke and her expensive outfit. In his heart of hearts, Nathan knew he hadn't always treated his wife the best but he hated seeing her so upset. He also wasn't in the best frame of mind to deal with it and it pissed him off as he had seen Brooke Davis in action before and he could only imagine what had taken place. He called his brother and an angry, awkward conversation had ensued. It was all a mess and things hadn't been the same sense.

"Megan! You okay?"

Nathan opened the door and her movements toward him were so quick, he didn't have time to react. All he saw was a flash of blonde hair and then he felt the stinging sensation on his lip. It took a second or two to register that she had just hit him.

"What the…"

"What is this, Nathan?" she screamed, throwing a magazine at him.

He picked it up and saw his picture on it. The headline read: **The NBA Star and His Ladies**. He was piss drunk and some girl had her arm draped over him. Dan was walking ahead, hands shoved in his pockets and it looked like Jake and Lucas were trying to drag him away.

"Look, it's no big deal."

"Shut up!" she spat, punching him hard in the chest.

"Ow! Damn, Megan! What's your fucking problem? Stop hitting me!"

"What the hell is going on, you son of a bitch?"

"What is your deal? So what? I went to the strip club with my brother and my dad and my friend."

"Yeah while your pregnant wife was waiting on your sorry ass in a hotel room. And why is this common tramp all over you?"

"We were leaving, I was drunk, she wanted an autograph, and the other guys were ready to leave."

"Nathan…"

"Megan, come on. You know how those people are. They take pictures and turn molehills into mountains. That stupid picture and the sleazy headline is probably putting someone's kid through college right about now. You know how much a photographer can make selling one photo to those rags?"

"So I'm supposed to believe this is innocent?"

"It is", he mumbled.

"Damn you!" Megan smacked him upside the head with a paper. "I don't get you, Nathan. I'm your wife! I love you and you're supposed to love me. I am carrying your child. I take care of you, I do everything for you…yet you insist on constantly humiliating me!"

"Meg…"

"I sat back and took it in front of our friends and families but now you want to pull this shit in front of the whole world? What the hell do you think I am? I'm not your goddamned door mat, Nathan!"

"I don't think that", he sighed. "Look, babe, just calm down."

"Don't touch me! Don't call me babe and don't tell me to calm down! How dare you!"

"Megan…"

"Fuck you!"

He ran his fingers through his dark hair.

"Look, I'm sorry, alright? But nothing happened. You have to believe me."

"Why should I?" she folded her arms.

"Because. Damn, Meg. Look, I hate this shit, too. Okay? You think I like being on the front page of a newspaper like this? Think I'm not embarrassed? This crap sucks but I deal with it because it's part of the job. The worse part but along with the commercials and games and million dollar paydays, comes dealing with the ignorant ass paparazzi. I don't like it but I get through it. I know you hate it and I'm sorry it hurts you but you knew what you were getting into when you married me."

Megan laughed sarcastically.

"Did I? Was Haley James part of the deal?"

Nathan's eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"You heard me. And yes, I said her name. Why not? Why not put everything on the table, Nathan? May as well, hell, there are three of us in this marriage anyway."

"Now you're freaking out for no reason. She has nothing to do with this."

"Oh she has everything to do with it."

"Megan, what is your obsession with her?"

"I think you should be asking yourself that question. I'm not the one obsessed, Nate."

Nathan shook his head.

"You're being crazy and I'm walking away. We'll talk later when you're not acting like a spazz case."

Nathan turned his back to walk away upstairs. Megan felt something snap inside of her. It was her husband, the father of her child, the man she loved more than anyone. Couldn't he see she was hurting? Didn't he see he was the one causing all her pain? Why? Why did he do those things? Why couldn't their marriage just be normal?

Megan was losing it and she knew it. Her heart was breaking. She couldn't breathe. She loved him so much despite what he had done. None of it mattered. She couldn't lose him. She was a woman on the edge as sheer desperation took over.

"Nathan! Don't walk away!"

"Megan, stop."

She began to wail as he rebuffed her.

"You don't give a damn about me! All you care about is this baby! I'm nothing to you! You never even gave this relationship an honest try! All you do is yell at me and get drunk and think about your precious Haley! Why don't you go be with her?"

"Megan…"

"What? Am I standing in your way? Am I holding you back? Let me make it easier for you, Nathan!"

She grabbed a knife and held the tip to her wrist.

"Megan! What the hell are you doing? Put that away!"

"Why?"

"I'm not fucking kidding around! Put the knife down!"

The blade penetrated her delicate flesh just enough to make a superficial scratch that barely bled. Nathan lunged for it, grabbing the weapon from her hand and tossing it across the room.

"Nathan!" she sobbed.

Tears began to fill his own blue eyes.

"Just stop. Meg, just stop! What are you doing?" he whispered.

"Nathan, I…"

"You could have really hurt yourself. And the baby?"

"I wasn't going to do anything", she mouthed through tears.

He backed away slowly. His thoughts raced back to a time years before after a particularly heated argument between his parents. He had seen Deb pop prescription pills before but it was a factor that was ignored and never discussed in the Scott household. Then one day, after getting into it with Dan, out of desperation, she had swallowed a huge handful of them. But it had been one too many and the stunt to get her husband and son's attention had landed her a nice three day stint in the hospital including a 24 hour visit to the mental ward for observation. The whole situation was bad enough but what was worse, it was a teenage Nathan who had discovered his mother's near lifeless body. It was he who had called 911 in a panic. And now it was happening all over again.

"You're fucking crazy", he whispered as he wiped the single tear that fell from his eyes. "Just like my mother."


	92. Going On Record

**_Author's Note: catc20, of course I'm not tired of your reviews! I appreciate the interest and enthusiasm and especially you taking the time out to give feedback. Thanks and I hope you continue to enjoy!_**

The taxi pulled up to the address she had scribbled down onto a piece of scratch paper. She paid the driver and got out, her eyes widening as she took in the breathtaking sights of the city. It was so unlike Tree Hill where everything was simple and warm and felt like home. No, New York was so different and she always felt so small there.

She took a deep breath and approached the door. A few men were hanging around the front, cameras hung around their necks. She looked at them for a minute before making her way inside. She was headed for the elevator when a man touched her arm.

"Where you headed, ma'am?" he asked.

She cleared her throat.

"I'm here to visit a friend. She lives in this apartment."

The doorman raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really? And who might that friend be?"

"Haley. Haley James."

"Yeah right", he rolled his eyes. "Nice try. Let me guess, you're from the Post or the Times. No wait…the Enquirer, maybe? US Magazine…"

"No. No sir. I…I'm not a reporter. Haley is my friend."

"Your name?"

"Karen. Karen Rowe."

His eyes skimmed a clipboard.

"You're not on my list, Ms. Rowe. Sorry."

Karen sighed.

"Listen, sir…Alvin, is it? I know you're just doing your job and I understand that but it's really, really important that I see Haley. I just flew in from North Carolina. I'm not on your list and I don't have a hundred bucks to bribe you or anything like that but this is important. Please."

"Rules are rules. Sorry…"

"It's okay, Alvin", a small voice spoke from the back.

Haley, bundled up for the New York winter and wearing a hat and dark glasses was accompanied by a beefy security guard.

"Sorry, Ms. James. She wasn't on the list and…"

"It's fine", Haley smiled tiredly. "Karen's an old friend."

She extended her hand and the women made their way upstairs in silence. Once inside the apartment, Haley shut the door and offered Karen a seat before removing her scarf and heavy coat. Karen gasped out loud at the burgeoning belly poking out from an otherwise petite frame.

"Wow", she smiled. "How far along are you?"

"Four months", Haley answered as she sat beside her.

Silence loomed for a bit for two women who had once been so close.

"So…um how have you been?" Karen finally asked. "How's New York? How is work?"

"Good", Haley shrugged. "I'm okay. I haven't really been working these last couple of months. I wrote some songs for the new album and I've been in the studio a couple of times but not much more than that. I was actually thinking about going out when I saw you in the lobby. As you can tell, it's kind of hard for me to get in and out of the building much less walk down the street without being hassled. "

"I see. I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. It's life, I guess, or at least mine for now. I'm dealing with it. I don't really have a choice. But I have good friends and a staff of really good people who have had my back since I moved here. And my parents call and visit when they can and I uh, I even have Taylor."

"Taylor?" Karen's eyes widened. "How is that working out?"

Haley smiled as she rolled her eyes.

"We have our moments, trust me, but it hasn't been all bad, or at least as bad as I thought it was going to be. I'm actually learning to get over the fact that she borrows my clothes without asking, borrows money that I know she'll never pay back, sleeps all day, parties all night and never picks up after herself. But on the bright side, she did get a job. She's a Coyote, mind you, please don't ask but it's a living. And she has been here to get me through some pretty dark days so I guess I can't complain too much."

"You okay?"

"I am", Haley nodded.

"I hope so. I know it was probably rude of me to just show up on your doorstep like this but I had to know. I had to see it for myself. I'm worried about you, honey."

"I know you are and I appreciate it but don't be."

"And the pregnancy? Everything is okay? No complications?"

"No. The doctors say everything is fine. I spotted the first month or two and I was sick as a dog and tired all the time but all that seems to be passing."

"Do you know the sex of the baby yet?"

Haley looked away.

"Um, no. Not yet. I haven't gotten around to all that yet."

Karen sensed her discomfort and she knew it all too well. After all, she had been there herself once.

"You know, it's okay, Haley…all these feelings you're feeling…whatever it is that you're feeling. It's normal. And it's okay to not be happy all the time or be scared."

"I'm fine…"

"I'm here for you. I know you have a lot of support right now but we can never have too many friends. I don't want to push you or make you uncomfortable but I'm here for you for whatever you need whenever you need it. I mean that."

Haley's eyes filled with tears. Of course Karen meant it. She had always been there for the younger woman as a child and a teenager. And when times were at their lowest following her leaving Nathan for the tour, Karen had always been a loving, neutral force.

"I'm scared", she almost whispered.

Karen smiled.

"Of course you are."

"This is my first baby. And this whole pregnancy thing was a total surprise and came at the worst possible time. God, I have so much going on right now."

"It's natural to feel overwhelmed, sweetie."

"I don't know, Karen. I mean, I like kids. I always have…just when they're other people's. Now I'm about to be a new mom…and I don't even know how to be a mom. My friend, Michelle, just had a baby and that was like the first time I had ever held a newborn. I didn't even know what to do."

"You'll learn."

"But what if I don't want to?"

"Is this baby what you really want, Haley?"

Haley sighed and shrugged, trying not to cry.

"I don't know, Karen. Is it wrong to choose something because it is the lesser evil? Especially when we're talking about another life. I mean, I didn't want to do the abortion thing and I don't think I can handle an adoption but at the same time, it's like I'm not ready for all this."

"It's okay", Karen put an arm around her.

"No, it's not. It's anything but okay."

"Don't beat yourself up. You have a lot on your plate right now and your hormones are going haywire. I know things are all over the place but I promise they will settle down and you'll find your groove. It'll all come together even though it might not seem that way now. I…I take it that Chris is being supportive?"

Haley nodded.

"He's great. I couldn't get through this without his friendship."

"That's good. It's good for both you and the baby and…"

"It's not his baby", Haley blurted out.

Karen was taken off guard.

"Excuse me?"

"Chris isn't the father", she continued to cry. "We're always together and the media took some pictures of us so they just assumed and printed it but it's not true, Karen."

"Oh Haley…"

"And I don't know what to do. Taylor knows the truth and of course Chris and my parents but no one else. And I don't know how to handle this. Chris is a real trooper and he's respecting my privacy and feelings and letting these gossip hounds say whatever they want. I know that's a totally unfair position to put him in but he does it as a friend and as a favor to me and I love him for it. But it's hard. All I ever wanted to do was be creative and make music, just be an artist. I thought I wanted fame but now I'm not so sure. That's the funny thing about fame…it seduces you like a drug. It gives you that feeling that everything is great and that you're fulfilled but then something like this comes along and all of a sudden your most intimate moments are like an open book to the public. I feel so exposed…so vulnerable."

"Does the father know? I mean…"

"It's Nathan", she said quietly.

"Nathan? Nathan Scott?"

Haley nodded.

"The one and only."

"Haley…oh my. Oh my God? Nathan? I…I had no idea. When…"

"Let's just say we did more than get divorced in the Dominican. It…it was stupid. We got caught up in the moment. It was really scary. We thought we were dying and…things just sort of happened."

"Haley…"

"I feel awful about it. I mean, we had just signed divorce papers and he had Megan and…it just should never have happened."

"Do you still love him?" Karen treaded carefully.

"I'll always love him", she answered truthfully. "I never stopped. I don't think I ever will."

"Goodness. This explains a lot with you coming to the wedding and all."

"That was stupid, too. I just felt like something was still there between us. I had to know if he felt the same way."

"What did he say about the baby?"

"I never had the chance to tell him."

"Oh Haley. You have to. I'm sure it must be in the back of his mind."

"I can't and I won't. I'd never lie or hide this from him. You're right. He's not stupid and I'm sure he's done the math, considering his wife is only one month ahead of me. If there was a question in Nathan's mind, he should have reached out to me by now. But he hasn't. Either he thinks it's not his or he's terribly afraid that it is. No matter what, he's staying away and I respect that choice."

"Oh sweetie. I don't know what to tell you. You know that I was in an eerily similar situation a very long time ago with Dan and Deb."

"How did you get through it?"

"It was hard, I won't lie. But I took it one day at a time and managed to hold my head high. I didn't have a lot of support. Not my family and I lost a lot of my friends at that time. But I had Keith who was a godsend. And I had myself. Even though I didn't feel like it, I was strong, much stronger than I've ever been in my life and much stronger than I thought I could be. I just held my head high and despite Dan and everything I didn't have, I concentrated on the one thing that I did…my baby. I knew from minute one, that I wanted Lucas in my life."

"But…"

"You're a wonderful person, Haley. You have the warmest spirit and most beautiful heart I've ever seen. You're going to be just fine. And you're going to make a wonderful mother."

"Then why do I feel so bad? Why do I have so many doubts? Why do I feel guilty? It's like I'm wearing the Scarlet Letter on my forehead."

"You're not guilty of anything except being human."

Karen put her arms around her and Haley melted into the embrace. It felt so good to be safe again.

"Karen?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Just promise me one thing."

"Anything."

"Promise me you won't tell anyone. Not Lucas or Peyton or Deb or especially Nathan. Please…"

Karen nodded. Only she could understand where the younger girl was.

"I promise you, Haley. Your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you. I mean it. Thanks so much. Oh, I'm so glad you're here. I needed this. I needed you."

"I'm here for you, honey."

"Can you stay for a little while? A couple of days maybe?"

"Of course. Andy will understand."

"Thank you."

"Now that we've settled all this, weren't you on your way out when I showed up?"

"Yeah…about that. I thought I could but now I don't know. It's such a hassle. And I hate traveling with a body guard and…"

"Screw them. It's your life, Haley. Don't let them take everything away. Only you can free yourself."

Haley sighed.

"Will you come with me?" she asked weakly.

"Of course."

"It'll be bad. Let me warn you. If they spot me, they'll start hounding both of us with questions. They'll get right in your face with their cameras and…"

"It'll take a lot more than some idiot trying to sell a picture to scare me off", Karen smiled. "We'll be fine."

Haley hugged her again as the two women put on their coats and prepared to brave both the intrusive press and the bitterly chilled North Eastern November weather. They held hands as they took the elevator down and met up with the burly security guard who escorted them out. Just when the women could relax, like a thief in the night, the stalkerazzi began to pour out of nowhere.

"Back up, man! Back up!" the beefy guard commanded.

"We're just trying to make a living, man", a photographer shrugged as he clicked away.

"Your publicist says she doesn't comment on your personal life. Can we get a statement from you, Haley?"

"Guess what? I don't either. No comment."

"Haley! Haley James, look this way, please", another directed.

Karen protectively squeezed Haley's hand.

"Can you please not get so close to us?" Karen asked politely but firmly as they quickened the pace of their step.

"Who are you, lady?"

"No comment", Karen looked over at Haley and winked. "Looks like I'm getting the hang of this celebrity thing."

Haley returned her smile.

"Haley, we just want to know one thing. Is it true Chris Keller is your baby's father? Can we get a comment, please? The whole world wants to know…whose baby is it?"

Haley looked at Karen and took a deep breath as she felt a sudden burst of the liberating inner strength Karen had told her about.

"It's my baby", she said, simply for the record.


	93. Daddy's Little Girl

Megan stared at the beautiful, silk ivory Christening blanket that had been in her family for years. Tradition was everything to the Powell's and the antique garment had once belonged to Meg's great grandmother. It was gorgeous and her hands felt the smooth, satiny material.

"It's a beauty, isn't it?"

She turned and saw her father behind her.

"Hi, Daddy", she said softly. "I didn't even hear you come in."

"That's because I was quiet", he smiled as he placed a kiss on the forehead of his oldest daughter.

"I was just admiring this blanket. It's so pretty and I've always loved it."

"It's the same blanket your mother and I used for your Christening. Now you'll get to have it for your child."

"Yeah", she smiled sadly.

"Is Nathan with you?"

"No. He goes on the road tomorrow. Sacramento, Los Angeles, then Denver. Practices ran late all week and I know he's exhausted."

"Are you going with him?"

"No", she shook her head.

Mark Powell sighed.

"Meg…"

"What, Daddy?"

"Don't you think it would be wise to accompany your husband on his travels? Why, when your mother and I got married, anytime the company had to send me somewhere, she was right by my side."

"Well, I don't have the marriage you have, Daddy. I'm not Mom and Nathan sure as hell isn't the man you are."

Mark immediately caught on to her despairing tone.

"Meg, is everything okay?"

"Fine, Dad. Absolutely wonderful. Really. Couldn't be better."

"Don't be facetious", he scolded.

"Well, what do you want to here, Dad? How perfect everything is? How happy we are?"

"I want to hear the truth."

"Sure you do…just like Mom."

Mark sighed as he took a seat.

"Your mother loves you, you know. Laurie just wants what is best for you and our grandchild."

"I know."

"I want the same for you but let's just say I don't quite view the world from rose colored glasses like your mom. I know what's been going on, Megan. I hear the gossip. I read the rumors. I see the papers. And I know you're not happy."

"But divorce is not an option, right? I know, I know. Trust me. Mom and I already had this conversation."

"Is divorce really what you want?"

Megan thought for a minute.

"No. I don't know."

"What do you want, Meg?"

"To be happy. To have my baby. To have Nathan back."

"That's what we all want, dear."

"Fat chance", she laughed. "We are so far away from being happy or normal. I don't even know what that means anymore. I forgot what it feels like."

"What if I gave you another chance to remember it? To feel it again."

"How? How, Daddy? Because that's a miracle right now even God Himself wouldn't want to tackle."

"When your child is born Meg, and you hold that new little life in your arms, only then will you truly know what it's like to be a parent. You'll feel that amazing bond and love for your child. There's nothing like it. You just want to protect him or her with all you have. You wish peace and happiness for every single moment of their lives and anytime they are hurt, then you are hurt. I see what Nathan is doing to you and it kills me."

"Daddy…"

"Every event he spoils by showing up sloppy drunk, every time a compromising picture ends up on the tabloid covers…Nathan is not just affecting you Megan, he's affecting our whole family. Obviously he doesn't give a damn about his own reputation but image and integrity is something I take quite seriously. I don't like to be embarrassed and I don't like my daughter's public fairytale marriage being made a mockery of."

"What can I do? What can you do, Dad? Nathan is Nathan. He is how he is. No matter how bad I might want to or how hard I try, I'm never going to change him. He has to want to change himself. And I'm hoping this baby will be his push in the right direction. Because right now that's my only hope."

Tears began to fall down her face. Her father used his thumb to wipe them away.

"Megan, let me help you. Let me make this better."

He sighed.

"I have my ways. First, find the source of the problem and go from there, you could say."

Megan laughed in spite of herself.

"Oh Daddy…"

"What?"

"Remember when I was in first grade and Julie Hubbard, the resident six year old bully beat me up and stole my tuna sandwich? What did you do?"

"I took care of it."

"Right. And when I was 13 and didn't get into that summer camp I had been talking about all year, what did you do?"

"I took care of it."

"Yes, you did. And senior year of high school when our class did the huge benefit and I didn't sell enough raffle tickets and I was so upset, you…"

"I took care of it, Meg,"

"Dad, you took care of it by writing a check to make up the difference."

"So? What's your point?"

"My point is, you've been 'taking care' of things my whole life. Daddy Powell to the rescue. And don't get me wrong, I am so grateful and I love you for it but you can't save me from my whole life, Dad."

"I can try."

She shook her head.

"What are you gonna do, Daddy? Make him love me?"

"Megan…"

"No. My whole life you have fixed things for me and made things easier for me. You can't do this one. And even if you could, is that what I really want? My husband to want me and love me because of something you did?"

"I just want to help."

"I know…but don't, okay?"

"Meg…"

"You don't have to. I'll be okay."

"You don't look okay."

"Daddy…"

"I hate to see you cry."

"I'm okay. Just please…"

Mark nodded.

"Okay."

"I mean it, Dad. Let me handle this. Promise you won't get involved."

The older man sighed.

"Fine. If that's what you want."

She managed a smile and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you", she whispered.

"If you need me…"

"I know. I know, Dad. Thanks but I have to get going…"

"Alright. Drive safely, dear."

He hugged and kissed her again and watched her leave. He had never lied to his daughter before but once she became a parent, she would understand. Megan would know how hard it was to see your own flesh and blood suffering needlessly. He was a father. He would do what he had to do.

Mark Powell just needed some reinforcement…

He picked up the phone in his private study and dialed the digits. He waited patiently as it rang.

"Hello?"

"It's me. It's Mark Powell."

"Congressman! Good to hear your voice. What can I do for you, son?"

Mark tapped his fingers on the desk.

"I need your help, Dan. I think we have a problem on our hands."


	94. Where The Apples Fall

"I have errands to run. I'll see you back at the house, love."

Karen smiled and kissed Andy's lips.

"I love you."

He waved as he left and she watched him walk to his SUV. The café was empty and it had been a slow evening. She was hoping to close early. She wiped the counter tops with her rag and turned off the coffee machine. Her back was turned as the door opened.

"Still open?"

"For you?" Karen smiled. "Of course. What can I get you, Peyton?"

The blonde grinned.

"I'm easy today. Just a Diet Coke, please."

Karen filled a glass from the soda fountain and handed it to her.

"What brings you by and where is my favorite third grader?"

"With her father, thank God", Peyton rolled her eyes. "She has a ballet recital next week and an Arts and Crafts festival in a few days and last night at nine she informed me that I was supposed to bake 60 cupcakes for her class…by this morning."

"Oh no", Karen laughed.

"Yeah."

"Sounds like you're pretty popular these days."

"Not as popular as you", Peyton noted. "Have you seen the latest copy of US?"

Karen shrugged.

"Yeah, I have. And the Star and the Enquirer and everything else. It's kind of weird to have your face on a magazine cover. One of the customers this morning actually asked me for an autograph."

"So you went to see her?"

"Yeah."

"How is she?"

"Holding up…in spite of and despite of. Bless her heart. She's a fighter."

"I know."

"She's going to be okay."

"How did Lucas take the news?"

"A mixed reaction. Happy that someone got to see her, relieved that she's okay…curious to know what's really going on."

"And…"

"She's okay. Haley is having a tough time. But I know she's a survivor. She and her baby are going to be fine."

"Good. I'm glad. I was hoping for that but I kind of promised Jake and Lucas and Brooke that I'd stay out of things."

"Maybe that's best for now. I know it's hard but sometimes we have to take a step back."

"Yeah. You're right. I'm just happy one of us is getting through to her. You're a good person, Karen."

Karen shrugged.

"I'm just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less."

Peyton smiled as she reached for Karen's hand.

"Well, well. I can just feel the love in the air."

Karen and Peyton's attention turned to door. Of all people, it was Dan Scott.

"Deb isn't here right now", Karen said coolly.

"Good because I'm not here to see Deb. I see enough of her at home. I have a bone to pick with you, Pope Karen the first. You mind beating it, Blondie?"

Peyton rolled her eyes.

"Are you gonna be okay, Karen?"

"I'm fine, honey. You go ahead."

"You sure?"

Karen nodded.

"I'm fine. Give Jake and Jenny my love."

Peyton gave Dan a death stare, which he gladly returned.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Why are you here, Dan? I can't believe I'm doing this but you've got two minutes to say whatever it is you have to say before I…"

"Before you what? Are you threatening me, Karen? What? You gonna call your midget of a boyfriend to beat me up? You gonna tell Deb on me? No, wait…maybe you'll just call your newfound reporter friends and they'll photograph me to death."

"Dan…"

"What? It seemed to work for you? A star has been born."

"That's none of your business."

"It's everybody's business now, Miss Tabloid Queen. What are you doing?"

"I was visiting a friend."

"What did she have to say?"

Karen laughed.

"Like I would tell you anyway."

"Listen, Haley James has done enough to screw up all our lives, especially Nathan's. The best thing for her is to keep her dramatic, knocked up little ass up in New York where it belongs. She needs to stay far, far away from Tree Hill, that's for sure. And that seemed to be working out just fine until you had to march your do gooder self up there and stir up trouble."

"I was not stirring up trouble."

"This is a can of worms you don't want to open up. I mean it, Karen. Do you hear me?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"Consider this an educational warning", he sneered.

He turned to leave but Karen was furious.

"Get back in here, Dan!"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"I'm a busy man. I don't have time for your nonsense."

"Oh no. You will have time. You marched in here and started this, now I'm going to finish it."

"Good bye, Karen."

She blocked the exit.

"No. You will stand here like a man and listen to every goddamn word I have to say."

Dan smirked.

"Okay. I'll throw you a bone", he folded his arms. "This should be interesting. Go ahead. The floor is yours."

"You are a coward and a bully and an asshole. How dare you! You want to talk about Haley ruining everyone's life? Take a look in the mirror, buddy. You are the poison of Tree Hill. You are the one that has made everyone's life worse because of your influence. Haley saved Nathan and picked up the pieces of what you left broken."

"Spare me, Shakespeare. Anyway, that was a long time ago. Thank God Haley James is out of all of our lives so why do you keep trying to bring her back? Let sleeping dogs lie, Karen."

"You sick, selfish, heartless son of a bitch…"

"Thank you", he smirked, straightening his tie. "I always did love when you complimented me."

"Really? I'm surprised you can remember back that far. Back to when you were a real human being and I did love you. Do you remember that, Dan?"

He hesitated. For a brief moment, he could remember. He had loved her. He loved her very much. But that had been a long time ago. Things had changed. He had changed.

"What are you talking about?"

"We never talked about it but I know deep down in spite of the selfishness and the evilness, there was still a real human being in there. And I know when Deb got pregnant, you must have been terrified…lost. Do you remember that feeling?"

"Where is this going, Dr. Phil?"

"Make all the jokes you want, but think about it. Sometimes the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, Dan."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

It was Karen's turn to smirk.

"You have all the answers, wise guy, why don't you figure it out?"

"I…"

"Oh and while you're marinating on that, do your thinking elsewhere and get the hell out of my place of business."

With that she shut the door, in his stunned face.


	95. A Real Buzz Kill

**_Author's Note: Must mention BrookenLucas12 for leaving one of the most fantabulous reviews ever submitted in the history of feedback. A)She rocks. B)She has killer enthusiasm. C)I love her attention to detail. D)Long reviews kick ass! E)She really "gets" my work. So thanks to her and everyone else, lurkers, readers, non reviewers and reviewers alike..._**

Haley James was on top of the world. She hadn't felt that good in a long time. She felt liberated. Jubilant. Independent. There were no words to describe it. She had woken up that morning with a plan in mind and ever since had been a woman on a mission. Once she had her brain set to something, fierce determination added with a hint of stubbornness wouldn't let anything stand in her way.

She got up and had made herself a veggie omelet for breakfast. After that, came a shower, then it was time to get dressed. She adorned herself in an old tattered coat, just right for the brutal winter chill in the air but the last thing anyone would expect to see a rich and famous singer wearing. That was exactly the point, more or less. By the time Haley was fully clothed, her attire resembled something one would expect to see a homeless person wearing. Adding to the long, blonde synthetic wig, large, Jackie Kennedy like sunglasses, bright red lipstick and old hat, Haley James looked anything like…well, Haley James.

Satisfied with the transformed reflection in the mirror, she left her three bedroom loft and slipped downstairs. She made it past security, the doorman and the beefy bodyguard hired for her own protection. Once outside, she blended in with the hustle and bustle crowd of diverse people that defined what was New York City.

The day was hers and she was free to do what she wanted. She window shopped and people watched. She rode the subway and enjoyed her newfound anonymity. The peace of being left alone was something other people took for granted, a freedom Haley would never again. Privacy was the one thing she cherished and missed the most.

After a day on the town, feeling the cold wind against her face, she headed down to Rockefeller Center. How she loved that place. She had visited there many times. She loved to go and see the huge, beautifully decorated tree at Christmas time. One January her parents had visited and they'd had a blast skating at the infamous ice rink. She had gone there on her guest appearances to Saturday Night Live and one summer she and John Mayer had even given a free concert there for an environmental benefit.

Haley enjoyed a delicious, hearty, late lunch before finally fatigue set in again and it was time to head home. Although she wished she could have stayed longer, she had no complaints or regrets. She did what she set out to do and even if she couldn't do it again, she'd always have that memory. That one sweet day of victory when the paparrazzi's most wanted target had done the unthinkable.

"Spare change?" a beggar in a wheelchair asked, holding out his tin coffee cup. "Oh. Never mind. You look like one of us."

Haley smiled.

"I…"

"Sorry lady, but this is my corner. There's a vacancy two blocks up. Try that corner."

She reached into her deep pockets and pulled out a handful of bills that included a ten and some stray ones.

"Here you go, sir. Have a nice day."

He looked surprised at the money and at the person who was giving it to him but he took it anyway.

"God bless you, child."

"Yeah", she nodded. "Bless you, back."

She made the short walk back to her apartment with a renewed sense of peace.

"Sorry, ma'am. I can't let you up…"

"It's me, Alvin."

"Ms. James?" he asked, in total shock.

"How do I look?"

He put his hands on his hips.

"Now how in the world did you get past me and how long have you been gone? You know it isn't safe to leave this building without your security."

She kissed his cheek.

"I'm fine, Alvin", she said as she headed towards the elevator.

"Girl, you're gonna cost me my job."

"It'll be our little secret", she winked as the elevator doors closed.

She rode to her floor, a pep in her step as she unlocked the door. Leaving the kitchen was her sister.

"Hey, Tay."

Taylor screamed.

"Oh my God…Hay, is that you?"

Before she could answer, Chris emerged from the back.

"Whoa! Didn't Halloween just past?"

"Ha, ha", Haley rolled her eyes as she peeled off her ensemble. "You two make all the fun you want to. While you two were off sleeping, pissing a gorgeous day away or doing God knows what in Taylor's bedroom, I was out taking in the sights of our wonderful city. And I did it in absolute peace. Not one stare or autograph request or one stupid camera shoved in my face. Thanks to my handy disguise, I did it all by myself."

Taylor smirked.

"You look like a weirdo. Then again, this city is just full or weirdoes, hence the reason I love it here so whatever floats your boat, baby sis. Congrats on dodging the National Enquirer."

"Thank you."

"And for your information, we weren't do anything in Taylor's bedroom", Chris rolled his eyes.

"Well, you better not have been in my room."

"Ye have little faith", he shook his head. "Taylor actually woke up before noon and called me over and we've spent the entire day working on a surprise for you."

Haley raised an eyebrow. "Taylor" and "surprise" were two words that just didn't bode well in the same sentence. The last time Taylor had decided to spring a "surprise", it had ended up costing Haley over a thousand bucks and a pretty stern warning from the Atlantic City Police Department.

"Uh oh. Taylor, what did you do? And Chris what did you let her talk you into doing?"

"Sis, you're going to love it!"

"How much is it going to cost me?" Haley asked, arms folded.

"Close your eyes", Chris grinned.

"Oh God", Haley groaned as she did what she was told.

He led her into the hallway going towards the bedrooms. He turned her body left.

"Okay. Now you can open them."

Haley did.

"What do you think?" Taylor squealed.

Haley didn't know what to think. The walls of the spare bedroom had been freshly painted a dark blue color. Over the blue, bright yellow stars had been added as well as glow in the dark magnetic stars pasted to the ceiling. Little white musical notes had been mixed in among the countless stars. In the corner was a changing table and a white crib sat in the center of the floor. Stuffed animals and toys lined the entire room. She was speechless.

"Listen to this", Chris said proudly as he turned on the baby mobile that hung over the crib. "These things usually play something gay like Rock A Bye Baby or Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. Listen. This one plays Glad from my CD. The unedited, limited edition acoustic version. How cool is that?"

"And look at this", Taylor piped in, not to be outdone. "Baby's first guitar. How cool is that? You're totally gonna have a little Jimi Hendrix…or a Janis Joplin…or whatever. Anyway, my little niece or nephew is going to be the coolest kid like ever born. And it's all thanks to Auntie Tay and Uncle Chris. Now what do you think? Come on. Tell us."

Haley tried to speak. Physically, the room did look nice. She'd even give the pair major points for originality and creativity. And she was certainly blown away by the early rising, major thought and humongous effort and labor it must have taken, especially from Taylor, who hardly ever got off her lazy butt.

She appreciated the gesture. It was a sweet thing but it didn't make her happy. Far from it. In fact, it was like having ice cold water splashed on your face right when you're in the middle of a good drunken buzz. It had killed her high. It had brought her back to the reality she had so enjoyed escaping all day. It reminded her of all her woes and problems and the painfully real existence of the tiny creature developing inside her womb.

"Um…it's…it…God, I don't know what to say…"

"You love it? You have to! We love it!"

"I…yeah, I do", she forced a smile from somewhere deep. "This is really cool. Thanks, guys."

"We got some really neat toys and…"

"Yeah. Um, I'm sure you did and I'll check them out later. Right now I'm just really tired and I had a big day and…I don't know. I'm just gonna lie down."

"Okay", Taylor said. "You need anything, just holler at our resident little 'do boy', Chris, here."

"I'm okay. Uh, I'll see you guys later."

Haley retreated to the quietness of her room and the warmth of her bed and the security of her blankets where she could turn down the shades and bury her head in her pillow and her own inner darkness.

"You know, Stud, I really think I'm getting the hang of this aunt stuff. Could be fun."

"Yeah…" Chris sighed.

"What's your deal?"

"Nothing, just did you see how Haley acted? How she's been acting about anything when it comes to the baby?"

"She's not exactly the poster child for a happy pregnancy but who the hell could blame her, right?"

He shook his head.

"It's more than that. She's depressed."

"Medical doctor by day, rock star by night. I'm impressed."

"I'm being serious, Taylor. She displays all the classic symptoms. I did some research online. Stressful life events, anxiety, pregnancy complications…they're all there. It's a text book case."

Taylor rolled her eyes.

"Okay. Let's say she is depressed. What do we do about it? What will help her?"

"First of all, she has to want to help herself. But there are some suggested treatments. Like stress management, professional counseling, monitored doses of light medication…but the two things she probably needs most are, rest and…"

"And what?"

Chris took a deep breath.

"All the books say it's best for the woman to talk it out with her partner, you know, the baby's father. They're supposed to spend time together and bond over the pregnancy."

"That's nice. Shall I call Nathan up or do you want to? What would we say? I know, 'Hey come up to New York and take care of your depressed, demoralized, mopey, ex wife/baby mama'. Oh wait, we can't do that. Superstar would have to work that around his other baby's mother, which happens to be his wife. If he can fit all that in between chasing strippers and fouling out of games. He is a busy man, you know."

"Screw Nathan Scott. He got himself into this mess. I've never been a fan of his anyway. I don't know what Haley ever saw in him. The dude is a moron. But his problems don't concern me right now. I'm worried about Haley."

Taylor followed Chris' gaze down the hall to the closed door of the master bedroom.

"Yeah…me too."


	96. Finding Megan's Neverland

"This would be so much simpler if you two knew whether or not you were having a boy or a girl."

Megan smiled.

"We don't want to know. We like surprises."

Her younger sister rolled her eyes. With long, straight and slightly darker hair, Samantha Powell was just three years younger than her older sister. Following in her sister and brother in law's Duke footsteps, the quiet but pretty college junior had her eye directed towards the pre med department. But despite the usual underlying sibling rivalry, she had always been close to Meg and had jumped at the chance to spend a few days in Charlotte with her.

"Aren't you curious? I mean, just a little bit."

"Of course but that just adds to the fun and excitement."

"What about names?"

"We've thought about it. We pretty much have something picked out for both a girl and a boy."

"What if it's twins? Or triplets? Or quads? Or quints? Or…"

"Sam!"

"What? It totally happens."

"Yeah with odds like one in a billion."

"Actually, among the general population, in the 21st century, your chances are about roughly 1 in 300 which equals out to 3 percent and the latest study from the National Center for Health Statistics show that twins represent 30.1 of every 1,000 births."

Megan rolled her eyes as she tossed a stuffed elephant at her little sister.

"You are way too smart for your own good, you know that?"

"That's what my professors say. Did you know right now at six months pregnant, your fetus is just now starting to put on baby fat? The lips, eyebrows and eyelids are beginning to become more distinctive and teeth are developing underneath the gums."

"Okay…"

"And the baby's length from crown to heel is…"

"Samantha, okay! I get it. You're so…so…"

"Technical that it borderlines annoying?"

"Yes."

"I get that a lot."

"So shut up then", the older sister laughed as she folded a blanket. "Can we talk about fun stuff? Like toys and maternity shopping and baby clothes?"

"Well, you look great so it doesn't take a genius to figure out that you spent probably tons of money on maternity fashion. And the nursery is awesome…"

"Thank you. I did it myself."

The nursery was beautiful. Megan had devoted a lot of time and attention to detail to it. It had been a welcome distraction, a project to keep her mind away from many of the other less joyous aspects of her life. When Nathan was away, the house was too quiet and lonely. When he was around, his physical presence was known but mentally and emotionally there was a distance. Things had only grown worse since the incident with the stripper pictures and Megan's impromptu cry for help with a kitchen knife. They had barely been able to look at one another.

So the nursery had been her fun little experiment. She had dressed in sweat pants and an oversized tee shirt and tied a bandana around her hair. She had patiently hand painted the walls a unisex color of soft sage green. She had decided early on to go with a Nursery Rhyme type theme. She had spent hours online shopping for favorite characters and now beautifully colored and detailed wooden cut outs lined the room. Baa Baa Black Sheep, Georgie Peorgie, Humpty Dumpty, Hickory Dickory Dock, Jack and Jill, The Muffin Man, Old King Cole and Little Bo Peep lined the walls creating a magical wonderland. Stuffed animals and dolls neatly surrounded the room. The crib, a posh marble ensemble she's had custom made and imported from Sweden was the centerpiece along with the matching rocking chair beside it. A high chair, changing table, walker, and swing were already in place but by far Meg's favorite item so far was the rocking chair. It had an antique air about it and she could imagine sitting in it with her baby in her arms.

"You put a lot of thought into this, Meg. I just want to say that I think you're going to be a wonderful mother."

"Thanks", she smiled.

"And Nathan is going to be a great dad."

She looked away sadly.

"Yeah…I know."

"Look, I know things haven't been easy for you. I read the papers and I…um, I heard Mom and Dad talking about some stuff…"

"Sam…"

"It's gonna be okay."

Megan laughed to herself.

"Yeah…everybody keeps saying that."

"It will. You just have to believe it, Meg."

"And if they don't? If things don't get better with Nathan?"

"Then maybe they will be better without him."

Megan closed her eyes. The truth really hurt.

"I can't leave…"

"You can do anything you want."

"I'm not strong enough to do that."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm not. Besides, I really love him, Sam. I mean, what else am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. Look, if you think you and Nathan still have a chance, then fight like hell for him. Don't give up. Do whatever you have to do to make this marriage work. But if it's over…if it's truly over, then let it go and bow out with some dignity. Don't worry about Mom and her Rosary Beads or even Daddy. You have to take care of you and your baby. I know we've had sheltered, happy, privileged lives but the real world isn't like that all the time, Megan. This is probably the first time you've had to deal with something major like heartbreak that didn't go your way. It's the first time something has really gone wrong for you. I know you don't know how to deal with it but you have to learn. You have no choice. You deserve better…and so does your baby. You should be happy."

Megan bravely fought back tears.

"Maybe I'm the fool because I feel like there's still something left saving. Is that crazy? Especially when I'm the only one in the world who probably thinks like that."

"It's okay to listen to your heart, sis. Just don't ignore what's in your head altogether."

Megan smiled as the two sisters hugged.

"When did you get so smart, you know, in matters of the heart?"

"I have my ways", Samantha shrugged.

They were interrupted as Nathan, sweaty and straight from practice passed by.

"What's up, Sam?" he mumbled.

"Hey, Nate", she nodded.

"Hey", he finally said to Megan.

"Hey."

There were a few seconds of silence as Nathan's blue eyes surveyed the room.

"When did you have time to do all this?"

"I've been working on it", Megan said softly.

Nathan nodded.

"Looks good."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I like it. You did a good job."

She smiled, utterly thrilled by any attention or compliment he would bestow upon her.

"Thanks, babe."

Nathan shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Well, I'm gonna go take a shower. I stink."

"Okay. Samantha and I are just finishing up in here. Dinner will be on in a bit. I'm broiling chicken and broccoli and I'll bake that homemade bread you like."

"Sounds good. Thanks."

He bent down and placed a quick kiss on her stomach before he was off. Megan closed her eyes as she could feel her sister staring at her.

"I can't let go, Sam. You might not understand that now…the love and the bond that's driving me to do this but one day when you're a little older, you might."

Sam touched her arm.

"You're in love with him. He has your heart. You've given him a lot. And when things are good, they're perfect. And he's the father of your child. I do understand that, Meg. I just hope you know what you might be in for. Be prepared if it doesn't work…or what it means if it does."

"Sam, that's not fair."

"Whoever said love was?"


	97. Southern Godfathers

Nathan had been on fire all night. With the weight of the world on his shoulders, lying heavily on his heart, he had managed to block away every single distraction. His game was on point and he was looking good. Aggressive defense but enough control to steer clear of foul trouble. And his offense was on. He was sinking shots from every position on the court and he had hit 50 free throw attempts in a row.

"Scott, get over here. I need to talk to you", Coach Bickerstaff summoned.

"Yeah Coach?"

"What's up with you tonight?"

Nathan used his jersey to wipe his sweaty brow.

"What do you mean? I haven't played like this in forever."

"Exactly. And now you're shooting, rebounding, assisting, guarding and passing like never before."

"Is there a problem?"

"Hell, no. Just try to do it in actual game, why don't you?"

Nathan smiled.

"The next home game is against the Bucks. I'm gonna tear it up, Coach. Just watch. I know I've been slacking lately but I'm really trying."

"You better, son. You need to prove to me and your teammates and the press and the fans why they call you the hundred million dollar man. Now hit the showers. I'm counting on you, Scott."

Nathan nodded and headed off to the locker room for a quick shower. The water felt good. He was tired but even that felt good. What was better than actually earning the big dollars they were paying him for? He'd put in a hard, honest days work and he was more than satisfied with himself. Grabbing a tape from the Bobcats office, Nathan decided to take it home and study the team's last game against the Miami Heat. Nothing said good times like drinking cold beer and eating even colder pizza while watching one of his old games. He walked out into the parking lot not paying much attention to the stretch black limo parked close to his SUV.

"Mr. Scott", the driver rolled down the window.

"Yeah? Can I help you, man?"

"Someone would like to speak to you, sir."

"What?" Nathan questioned. "Who?"

The back window rolled down and Dan sat sipping champagne.

"Quit being such a ninny and get your ass in the car, son."

Nathan rolled his eyes and dropped his bags as the door opened for him.

"I should have known it would be you. I was having too good of a day…something had to spoil it."

"We need to have a chat, man to man."

"About what now?" Nathan climbed in, stopping short when he saw that Dan wasn't alone.

"Nice to see you again, Nate."

"Mark", Nathan said, more than a little surprised. "What brings you by?"

He knew it wasn't a good combination having the two men ambush him together.

"Just checking up on things. Your father and I thought we would pay you a little visit. Now, how's my daughter."

"She's good", Nathan shrugged.

"Good. That's what I like to hear. And see that's the thing, Nathan. I haven't been hearing that lately. In fact, I've been hearing the polar opposite. I hear Megan has been very unhappy."

"She's fine."

"Let's hope so. She is my daughter, in fact."

"And she's my wife. Your point?"

Nathan was neither feeling or showing any fear.

"My point is, my little girl has been miserable lately and from the looks of things, you haven't been too happy either. Your attitude and performance in games, unfortunate incidents with strippers…"

"That's not what it looked like. Ask my Dad", Nathan smirked. "He was there."

Dan gave his son a death glare.

"What I'm trying to say Nathan is, if you're not happy in your marriage, I am here with a solution."

"And what might that be?" the younger folded his arms.

"Divorce."

Dan sneered as Nathan's eyes widened.

"Divorce? What are you talking about?"

"Just what I said, son. No strings attached, take the easy way out."

Nathan shook his head.

"Not that I'm saying I want a divorce but I don't trust you two together."

"Listen to the man", Dan took another sip.

"That's right, Nathan. An easy legitimate, quickie divorce. You give my Megan 50 million dollars and she retains full and legal custody of the child."

"Are you on crack?"

Mark laughed.

"No. It is what it is, Nathan. You want out…that's your option. Take it or leave it."

"I'm out of here. You're both full of shit."

"Nathan, wait."

"Wait? What the hell is there to talk about? You two show up here like the fucking Sorpranos offering me some bullshit deal that I didn't even ask for, by the way, to divorce my wife, give up half my money and abandon my kid."

"We're just looking out for everyone's best interests", Dan smirked. "Wouldn't want you to be unhappy, now would we my boy?"

"Shut up. And I'm sure you're the one who came up with the abandoning the kid part since that seems to be your field of expertise."

"Don't make me knock you out, son", Dan warned, his face tensing.

"Calm down, gentlemen. No one is going to knock anyone out. Now, back to you Nathan and the issue at hand. You're unhappy in your marriage, yet it seems you're not quite ready and willing to back out. If you're going to stay with Meg, something needs to give. Something has to happen to ease your minds and make things more pleasant. Tell me what can I do. What is troubling you?"

"Nothing", Nathan muttered.

"Nothing, you say. I see. Well, I beg to differ. Could it be…oh…Haley James maybe?"

Nathan's head instantly lifted.

"What do you know about Haley? Mark, she has nothing to do with it and nice going, Dad. You're a real ass, you know that?"

"I'm just the peanut gallery", Dan smiled.

"If she is causing problems, would you like me to have a talk with her? Pay her a visit…"

"Look, you two sick bastards stay the hell away from Haley. She has nothing to do with this. And if you leave Meg and me alone, we'd be just fine, too."

"Okay, okay. Just a suggestion. Dan, you were right. This one drives a hard bargain. Nate, you don't want a divorce. You don't want us to contact your little friend. What will it take?"

"Screw this…"

"How about this?" Mark took out his checkbook and began to scribble.

He tossed it to his son in law. Nathan's eyes bulged.

"What the hell?"

"No, I really did mean to put all those zeroes. Call it an insurance policy."

"Or a bribe?"

Mark shrugged.

"That's a little harsh but…"

Nathan shook his head.

"No way."

"Want more?"

"Man, this is 2 million dollars."

"I can triple it. My daughter's happiness has no price."

Nathan laughed bitterly.

"This is cute. Really guys. Bravo", he clapped his hands. "I'll tell you what guys, I have really been entertained this evening by the North Carolina mafia slash Good Old Boy network but uh, I'm tired and the show is over. So this is the part where I rip up your check before saying good night. Dad, you go back to Tree Hill and sell cars and make Mom's life hell or whatever it is you do. Mark, earn the taxpayers money and get back to running this fine state of ours."

He grabbed his bag and opened the door, shaking his head in disgust as he headed to his own vehicle. Dan got out after him.

"Remember what we talked about, son. Remember everything I told you. Don't be a damn fool. Don't mess it all up now."

"The only about this situation that's messed up is you and sidekick in there."

"I just want to help you, Nate. Give you the life I have, give you the chance for something better. You're my son. I love you and Lucas. I have created and tried to groom you in my image."

"God save us both then. You know, Lucas was the lucky one but not so much me."

"What are you saying?"

Nathan looked deep in his father's eyes.

"Unfortunately, we're more alike than I thought."


	98. In A Dark Place

_**Tree Hill, North Carolina**_

_**Jagielski Townhouse**_

Jake stretched his long legs out onto the coffee table. Everything was in place. Pretzels? Check. Nachos and cheese? Check. Hoagie? Check. Bud Light? Check.

"Hell yeah", he said to himself, overly satisfied.

The game was just about to start and he had parked himself on the comfortable sofa of his family room. He would have a bird's eye view of all the live NBA action of the Charlotte Bobcats taking on the San Antonio Spurs. Just as he was relax and two seconds away from shoving the massive sandwich into his waiting mouth, his eight year old daughter marched, spread out her favorite blanket on the floor, took a seat and reached up to grab the remote. Before the father could protest, he was watching an episode of Hey Arnold!

"You have got to be kidding me right now", he muttered. "Jen, what are you doing?"

"Watching TV", she said.

"But Daddy was here first watching TV."

"I know."

"You know? And you turned it anyway?"

"But you have a TV in your room?"

"So do you."

"But I always watch Hey Arnold! on Tuesday nights on this TV."

Jake sighed.

"Listen up. Tonight is a very important game. Uncle Nate is playing in it. Don't you want to watch him?"

Jenny thought about it for a minute.

"No. Not really. We see Uncle Nathan all the time."

"Jen…"

"What's all the ruckus about?" Peyton entered the room in her pajamas.

"Mom, Dad won't share. I watch my favorite show every Tuesday night down here because I like the big TV. Now he's making me watch the stupid game."

"Jenny, the game is not stupid and it's a special event and it's very important to your dad. Just this once it wouldn't kill you to watch your TV."

"No", she whined.

"Yes."

"That's no fair. Grown ups are so mean. I'm just a little kid."

Peyton rolled her eyes.

"Jen, you can either sit here and be quiet or watch your own TV and Dad and me will reward you later. Or you can pout and backtalk and whine and talk yourself into a spanking. Now what's it gonna be?"

She was silent but her lips turned into a permanent pout as she reluctantly handed the remote over. Jake just shook his head, only imagining what the teenage years would bring…

_**Philadelphia, Pennsylvania**_

_**Scott/Davis Loft**_

"This is gonna be a good game. I bet you 20 bucks it goes into overtime."

"Like I care", Brooke murmured not looking up from her romance novel.

"Babe! Come on. Of course you care. Nathan is playing. It's an important game. Now the Bobcats have the advantage because of youth, speed and offense while the Spurs have more experience, they're stronger and have good defense. That means…"

"Broody, please. You already have the TV up loud enough. I have to listen to those irritating commentators, as if that isn't bad enough. I don't need the play by play from you too."

"Okay, that's just harsh, Miss Davis. Really. You're a cold, cold woman."

"I'm cold, huh?"

"Like ice."

"I'll show you cold", she giggled as she jumped on top of him, letting her hands roam freely in his nether regions.

"No fair", he groaned. "The game is about to come on."

"Well, if you want to 'come on', you can forget about the game, Broody. We'll have fun and I'll even leave you alone long enough to catch the highlights on Sports Center."

"You're killing me, you know that? You drive a hard bargain."

"That's not the only thing that's hard", she teased, slipping her shirt off.

Lucas licked his lips. That body. The body of a goddess. And it was all his.

"To hell with the game", he laughed as she pulled him towards her…

_**New York City, New York**_

_**James Loft**_

"Corey, can I get you another beer?" Taylor grinned.

"I'm good, thanks. And thank you too, Haley. I appreciate the invite and dinner was delicious."

"You're welcome and I'm glad you enjoyed it", Haley smiled.

She couldn't believe it. It was almost too good to be true. Taylor had actually brought home a clean cut, good looking, well mannered, highly intelligent and all around decent young man. She wouldn't have believed it had she not seen it with her own eyes. Irregardless, she was happy for her older sister and praying to God that the wild child wouldn't do anything to screw it all up.

"Do you guys mind if I change the channel on the TV?"

"Go right ahead", Haley said as she washed dishes. "Make yourself at home, Corey."

"Thanks."

He leaned back and got comfortable as Taylor nestled into the crook of his arm.

"What do you want to watch?" she asked.

"I don't know…oh here we go. The game is on. You don't mind, do you, Taylor?"

"Basketball is cool with me."

"Great. I didn't want to miss this one. It's San Antonio and Charlotte."

Haley's blood ran cold and a glass dropped from her hand as she looked at the screen in time to see her ex husband warming up…

_**Raleigh, North Carolina**_

_**Powell Home**_

"Have a seat, sweetie. How is your stomach feeling?" Laurie asked.

Megan smiled.

"Put your hand here, Mom. Feel? The baby has been kicking up a storm."

"How about that?" Laurie grinned. "You've got an active little one in there."

Megan rubbed her belly.

"He or she always gets like that whenever it's Daddy plays."

Laurie put her arms around her daughter.

"Well, you're just in time. The first quarter just started…"

_**Tree Hill, North Carolina**_

_**Scott Estate**_

"He looks tense…and so tired."

"He's fine, Deb", Dan scoffed. "He's an athlete."

"I know that but he's still my son. I just worry about him so much."

Dan took another drink. He was worried too. He had always had the upper hand, always been the slickster. No one ever got over on Dan Scott. He was always in control. But he couldn't shake that weird feeling inside. It was like nothing he had ever experienced before…and he didn't like it.

First the café. Shy, quiet, sweet, demure Karen. He had gone there to intimidate her, frazzle her nerves. But out of nowhere she had turned the tables on him. He had never seen her like that before. She stood up to him like no one else had. And those words. "The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree" or some nonsense she had spoken. But maybe it wasn't nonsense. Maybe it meant something after all.

Then there was the incident at Charlotte. He and Mark had concocted a plan to play a game of reverse psychology on Nathan. It was a control element designed to manipulating the situation to their liking but again the tables had been turned. It was like Nathan was on to them. And he didn't back down. The kid was tough as nails when he wanted to be. And the things he had said and the way he said him. It unnerved Dan. And Dan Scott didn't like being unnerved…

_**San Antonio, Texas**_

_**SBC Center**_

Nathan bounced the ball. Okay. Mid court. All he had to do was dribble down the line. He would make a low pass to his left. His teammate would fake a right then throw it back to Nathan who could get in for the easy layup as well as draw the foul. It was a plan and a play that had practiced a thousand times before.

Damn! He couldn't see shit! Why was everything so goddamned blurry? Where was the basket? He saw three of them…and they were all moving. Shit! The room was spinning. It was hotter than 30 hells. Nathan needed to sit down. No, he needed to pee. Or maybe throw up. Oh God! Somebody call a time out…what the hell? Where did Tim Duncan come from and how was he able to steal the ball from Nathan that quick? What was happening?

_**Tree Hill, North Carolina**_

_**Jagielski Home**_

"Oh my God", Jake whispered. "What the hell is he doing?"

Peyton just shook her head.

"Mom, Daddy? What's wrong with Uncle Nate? He keeps falling down and his eyes look really weird."

Jake took a deep breath. What could he say when he didn't have the answer for himself? How did you explain such a complicated adult issue to a little kid?

"Uncle Nathan is sick, Jen."

It was the closest thing to the truth he had.

Peyton chewed at her fingernails, a bad habit she hadn't indulged in since middle school, as she watched Nathan clumsily make a mockery of himself and the game all over national television. It was almost too much to bear.

"Now what?" she asked. "You and Brooke still think we should stay out of it?"

_**Raleigh, North Carolina**_

_**Powell Residence**_

"Dear God! What is Nathan doing? I don't even watch basketball and even I know he keeps messing up. And why does he keep falling down?"

Megan couldn't believe it. He had really gone and done it now. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Why couldn't he just see? He was ruining everything! For their marriage, for her, for their families, their child…himself and what was left of his career. So much for trying to maintain the perfect family image anymore. Now everyone would know. Nathan had put it out there for the world to see and there was no going back.

"He has some nerve", she whispered out loud.

"What is he doing?" Laurie asked again.

Megan shook her head as she took another sip of water.

"What he does best…"

_**Tree Hill, North Carolina**_

_**Scott Estate**_

Deb put her hand over her eyes. She couldn't watch. It was breaking her apart inside. She couldn't take anymore. Why, God, why?

"Fucking numbskull!" Dan slammed his fist onto the table. "That's his fourth turnover of the night. He has no assists, only 7 points, which I think the other team let him score on purpose because they feel sorry for his ass, and he can't get a rebound to save his life."

"Is that all you care about, Dan? A dumb game?" Deb cried out loud.

"Aw. Look at Mommie Dearest. Are those real tears, Deb?"

"How can you joke at a time like this? Are you seeing what I'm seeing? And I'm not talking about fouls and free throws. That's our son out there, Dan. He's falling apart."

"Fine! What do you want me to do, Deb? Huh? Put him over my knee? I'm sorry I don't have all the answers."

"You should", she spat. "Because this is all your fault. Every bit of the misery and pain, it's because of you. You did this to me and you did this to Nate…and we both hate you for it!" she stormed off.

_**New York City, New York**_

_**James Apartment**_

"Wow", Corey said. "That game was brutal. The Bobcats took a real beating. Nathan Scott must have been sick or something. He sucked out there tonight."

"Yeah", Taylor sighed. "What can you say? Looks like he did have his mind on…well, other things."

She looked across the way at her sister. Haley's eyes had never left that TV screen. She couldn't have peeled herself a way even if she tried.

"Well, it's been a lovely evening, ladies. Taylor, thank you for inviting me and I had a great time. Maybe we could do it again sometime?"

"Sure", she smiled as she walked him out. "Why not?"

The sound of the door shutting finally snapped Haley back into reality. She wiped away the tears that had already begun forming in her eyes.

"Um, he was a nice guy, Corey."

Taylor shrugged.

"I guess."

"I liked him."

"Then you go out with him because I sure as hell don't want to see him again. He's stiff, in all the wrong places, if you catch my drift and he's too…too…too…"

"Nice?"

"Yeah. God, I'm bored already. I think I'm gonna go wallow my sorrows at the bar tonight."

"But Tay, you're off."

"I know but a Coyote's work is never done", she grinned.

"Yeah…well, be careful."

"You okay, baby sis?" Taylor asked as she put her arms around Haley.

"I'm fine. Just had something in my eye."

"I'm sorry. You know about tonight and Corey watching the game and all. It was kind of a dick move, huh?"

"It's okay. I can't spend the rest of my life avoiding Nathan Scott, I guess."

"I know but I didn't mean to hurt you…and you look really hurt right now."

"It's just…"

"Just what? Talk to me, Hay."

"Something's wrong. He's in a very bad place. He gets like that sometime. He gets distant and violent and no one can reach him. Then he turns to that damned bottle and it's all downhill from there."

"So I saw tonight."

"I can't believe it. I can't believe he came to a game drunk", she shook her head.

_**Philadelphia, Pennsylvania**_

_**Scott/Davis Loft**_

"Okay, I can't move my legs right now", Brooke giggled.

"Was it good for you, baby? Yeah!" he did his best Austin Powers impression.

"It was okay."

"Okay?" Lucas hit her on the head with a pillow.

"Just kidding, Broody. You're the best, babe."

"Now that's more like it. Where's my remote, woman?"

"Luke…"

"You promised Sports Center after the game. A promise is a promise and it must be kept…"

"Fine. Here, you big baby."

"Thank you, much", he grinned, blowing a raspberry on her tummy much to her delight.

Lucas flipped on the TV and held Brooke close to his body. The highlights were just starting.

"…From the home of the Alamo tonight, the underdog Spurs defeated the heavily favored Charlotte Bobcats. In a game that was supposed to be a lock, the young North Carolina team fell short almost from the beginning. Second year star, Nathan Scott, was held without a basket until the 43.2 seconds before half time and he finished the night with a career disappointment of just 9 points, with no rebounds, assists or steals and he turned the ball over a record 9 times! There was also speculation as to the state of Scott's health as you can see on the screen behind me. He stumbled several times, appeared disoriented, and according to locker room insiders, his speech was barely coherent. Much attention has been cast on the star who some had hailed as the next Michael Jordan, however his turbulent personal life has seemed to overshadow what was once considered a promising career. We'll have more on that story as it unfolds. In other news, the Indiana Pacers…"

Lucas and Brooke sat stunned.

"I have to call him."

"Lucas…"

"Brooke! He's fucking falling apart. I can't stay away any longer. Somebody has to step in. We have to help him. I mean, what's next?"

"Luke…" she tried to pull his arm.

But it didn't matter. She was grasping at air. He was already gone.


	99. A Meeting Of The Minds

**_Author's Note: Still digging all the ultra cool reviews. That's the highlight of my day so thanks again to everyone. Nothing is better than reading when you guys review and actually talk to the characters. Lol! Cracks me up..._**

**_Also, be careful when I do multiple updates that you check the chapter numbers and titles so you won't miss anything. Everything links together so if you miss one chapter, you might miss an important key that comes up in the future..._**

Nathan had been driving around for hours. Getting behind the wheel or taking long walks alone had always somehow managed to help clear his head. And his mind was definitely in dire need of cleansing. He was messing up and he knew it. Things were spiraling out of control and he knew it. He was dangerously unhappy, at the end of his rope so to speak and there was nothing to make it all better. It had gotten to the point where he couldn't feel anymore. It was like watching a movie where the main character breaks down and self destructs…only it wasn't a movie and it wasn't someone else. It was his own life that was rapidly disintegrating.

He finally arrived home just as it was getting dark. He'd already had a few beers in the park to relax himself. He wished he had his ball with him. At least shooting hoops on his private court would be somewhat therapeutic. But he didn't have it with him and he knew exactly where it was. It was inside the house and so was his wife. Nathan sighed. He didn't hate her. He did love her in fact. But it was more to the situation than that. He honestly felt bad that she was hurting but he was hurting too.

It was hard. The marriage wasn't going well at all and they both knew it. Something would have to give…and soon. Before their baby arrived. Nathan knew he couldn't raise a child in that environment. They had run out of words to say to one another. They barely looked at each other and she had long ago quit protesting when he began randomly falling asleep on the couch instead of in their bed.

Sighing, he entered the house. Maybe there would be something good on TV. Yeah, that sounded like a decent way to piss away an evening. An ice cold beer in front of the Plasma television.

"Nathan…"

He looked up. Megan was sitting on a chair. And she wasn't alone. A few feet away were her parents, Mark and Laurie. Next to them sat Jake and Peyton, followed by Andy and Karen. Brooke and Lucas were there as well along with Dan and Deb. Keith and Jules were sandwiched between them and Royal and Mae. And rounding out the circle of love were two men instrumental and responsible for much of Nathan's athletic success…Whitey Durham, his coach in high school and Bernie Bickerstaff, head coach of the Charlotte Bobcats. 17 people sitting solemnly in the middle of his living room awaiting his arrival.

"What the hell is this?" he frowned. "Who died?"

"No one yet and that's why we're here…to make sure it stays that way", Keith started.

"What's going on? Lucas?" Nathan looked at his older brother.

Lucas took a deep breath.

"You need help, man. And we're here to make sure you get it."

Nathan laughed out loud.

"Isn't this cute? Tree Hill's own little after school special. Well, I don't know about you guys but I'm about to go have a beer. I'll be in the other room relaxing with my thoughts."

"No", Megan said quietly.

"What?"

"You heard me, Nathan. I said no. All these people are here for a reason. We've come together to help you and you need to listen to us."

"Help me?" Nathan sneered. "What the fuck? Are the words 'save me' tattooed on my forehead or something?"

"Maybe they should be", Jules added quietly. "Obviously something is going on, Nate."

"Okay, okay. I get it. This is about the other night, isn't it? The San Antonio game", Nathan shook his head. "Damn. I have one bad night, one bad game and everybody wants to freaking spazz out."

"Bad game?" Royal Scott boomed. "Is that what you call it? Boy, you were all over the place. Stumbling and fumbling looking like a modern day crack head."

"Dear, Grandpa is just worried about you", Mae tried to soothe. "We all are. We just love you so much."

"Fine. I love you, too, Grandma but I don't feel like talking right now. I had a bad game and I'm tired right now because I've been practicing my ass off so I won't have another one and the last thing I need is my whole freaking family and my friends congregating in my living room trying to figure out how to fix all my problems."

Karen spoke gingerly as she looked right in Nathan's eyes.

"Nathan, I've been noticing that you've been drinking a lot…more than usual lately. We all have. There's nothing wrong with partying or letting loose every now and then but it seems like you're losing control…and everyone can see it but you."

"Karen, I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Nathan", Peyton shook her head. "Everyone here in this room really cares about you and what happens to you. We all came here to try and give you the support you need hopefully so you can get the help you need."

"I don't need any help", Nathan laughed. "Come on, guys. It's me. Nate. What the hell? You been watching too many Lifetime movies? Somebody have my back, here. Luke? Jake? Brooke, I know you can't be a part of this crap."

"Sorry, Boytoy. Maybe this is the best thing for you. I've been defending you and Lucas has been coming to your rescue and your parents keep bailing you out. Someone is always around to save Nathan. Well maybe it's time you started trying to save yourself."

"This is ridiculous…"

"We know you were drinking before the game, honey", Deb said softly. "We're concerned about you and all the problems you've been having lately. The alcohol is taking over and starting to ruin your life. You have a problem and you need help and everyone in this room agrees to that and we're going to stick by your side through every minute."

"Mom…"

"Sweetie, don't. Okay? We know you were drunk. It was obvious. You're always drunk. And quite frankly to me, it looked like more than just the effects of alcohol."

The very insinuation sent Nathan into a fury.

"Oh yeah? And you would know, wouldn't you? As many pills as you fucking popped. Valium, Vicodin, Percocet…want me to go on? Gee, Mom, slept in the front lawn lately?"

Deb hung her head in shame.

"Boy, don't you talk to her like that", Whitey yelled. "She's your mother! Now it's time to man up and tell the truth. What the hell is your problem? Did you get drunk before that game the other night?"

"So what if I did? Yeah, I had a few beers and a shot or two. Big fucking deal! It's not like it's the end of the world!"

"Stupid idiot. It might be the end of your career!"

"Coach, I partied the night before the game. Then I had a few drinks in the hotel. I was fine. It wasn't like I was drunk or anything but I was tired so I took some stuff to…"

"No!" Dan stood up. "Shut up, Nate! My son does not take drugs!"

"Sit your ass down! No, I don't take drugs, alright? It was NoDoz! Freaking NoDoz! That perfectly legal shit you can buy in any gas station in America. I just needed something to wake me up."

"You can't do that, son", Coach Bickerstaff shook his head. "That's dangerous. NoDoz is speed and you mixed speed with alcohol. All that going on hours without sleep, what did you expect?"

"You're all making a big deal out of this."

"Oh it's a very big deal. You cost me a victory, Scott. You embarrassed the Charlotte organization that has been so good to you. You let your teammates down."

"Coach, I'm sorry, okay? Look, man…"

"Sorry doesn't always cut it."

"Then what do you want me to do, Coach?"

"There's a place in Greensboro, quiet, private…" Andy stated. "Trained professionals who offer an effective detox program, group and individualized therapy. It'll give you a chance to relax and reflect and gather your thoughts. The 12 step program will keep you away from the alcohol and I think the psychiatric therapy will help you with all the issues you've been dealing with the past 7 or so months or even years. It'll provide a pressure free environment where you can rest and get your body back in tiptop shape. Now, the name of it is the Newport Center. It is a very exclusive place and the waiting list is usually 3 to 4 months long but I was able to pull some strings and they have a bed waiting for you to night."

"Andy…"

"I'll go with you. Or if you want Megan or your parents or Lucas or whoever. Hell, we'll all go with you if that's what it takes. We're just asking you to get help, Mate. Taking that first step is the hardest."

"Fuck you, Mate", Nathan laughed sarcastically. "I don't need to go to rehab and I don't need you and your underground connections either. I didn't ask for your help and I sure as hell don't want it. You want to play step daddy? Lucas is right over there. But back up off of me!"

Megan finally spoke as she dabbed at wet eyes.

"I think it will be good for you, sweetie."

"Hell no! I don't need it and I don't want it! It's stupid! You're all overreacting! Besides, I'm not gonna go do this bullshit in the middle of the season."

"I agree with my son", Dan nodded.

"Dan!" Deb protested.

"Although it was quite noble of the munchkin here to go to such great lengths for Nathan but face it, his career can't take 30 to 60 days off. It's professional suicide. Nathan is at the top of his game when he's not making asinine mistakes."

"Our son needs help, Dan and I thought we agreed on that."

"I will look into hiring someone to go on the road with him, then. Sort of like outpatient treatment."

"Hello! I'm still here, guys! Don't talk about me like I'm not standing here! Now it's my life and my decision. Not yours and certainly not my wife's. I'm a man and I make my own choices. And I choose to scrap all this outpatient, inpatient, psychiatrist, detox, let's talk about our feelings and draw little hearts and bunnies crap! I'm done and that's final! Now I'd appreciate if you would all get the fuck out of my house! I ain't running the Ramada here."

"I'm afraid you don't have much of a say in the matter", Coach Bickerstaff informed his player. "You violated the legal rules and a code of ethics with your actions in Texas. Such behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Now I like you as a person, Nathan and I believe in your talent and potential. You're a hell of a player and you could have a real future but you need professional guidance. If you don't seek help, I am benching you until further notice and will make a recommendation to the NBA Disciplinary League."

"What?" Nathan shouted in disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me? How could you all do this to me?"

"It's for your own good, man", Jake sighed.

"My own good? Shut up, Jagielski! You know better than to talk before Peyton pulls your puppet strings. You know, this is too funny. All we're missing is a camera to capture this magical Kodak moment. Everyone pointing the finger at me. Nate's a drunk…Nate's fucking up…Nate's out of control. How ironic that I have 17 pots on here calling this kettle black. Everybody lives in a glass house, yet they want to throw stones. Let's see. I have a psycho Betty Crocker, Martha Stewart, June Cleaver wannabe for a wife who, by the way, spends her spare time trying to slash her wrists. I've got an asshole for a father and a pill popping freak for a mother, who is so concerned about me taking drugs when hell, I learned it by watching her! I've got all of a sudden concerned grandparents who have never given two shits about me before. I've got an uncle who if I go to rehab, he needs to be in the bed beside me but who could blame him with his whore of a wife? Then the shrimp from Down Under suddenly wants to be my new daddy along with Karen who thinks she's my mommy. I've got one washed up, has been for a coach who is still trying to run my life while the other is being an ungrateful bastard in spite of the fact that is franchise was the worst in the league before I came along and saved the day. And no wonder my wife is fucking crazy, look at her mother…and by the way, Laurie, it ain't 1955 anymore so welcome to the 21st century. Oh and how could I forget my dear old father in law who think he's J.R. Ewing. Nice try, wanting to buy me off for two million but newsflash, dumbass, that's nothing more than chump change to me. Besides, it would take a hell of a lot more than that to put up with your whiny, spoiled daughter. Now. Last but certainly not least. Saint Lucas. My perfect, stand up brother and his shallow, conceited, superficial crown princess. Need I say anymore?"

"Nathan…"

"No. Fuck this", he opened the refrigerator. "See this? I'm going for a ride with my six pack and when I get back, I want you all out of here. You too, Meg."

And with that, he was gone, the door slamming loudly behind him.


	100. The Last Ride

Nathan was pissed when he hopped in his Escalade. He couldn't remember a time being angrier. They all had some nerve. How dare they try to stage an intervention! It was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard of. And he knew who was all behind it. Megan. That damned meddling wife of his. His fists slammed against the wheel. God, he hated them all at that moment! Even Lucas.

He put the car in drive before popping a bottle open and taking a large gulp of the first beer. Damn, it tasted good trickling down his throat. Right there in the driveway he downed the whole thing before opening another one. He fished around for a classic Tupac CD. Man, he loved Tupac. The man was more than a rapper, he was a poet. Nathan cranked up the volume and added extra base so the windows of the house would rattle as he pulled off. He didn't give a damn if they shattered into a million pieces. He just wanted out. He needed to get away.

Just as his foot went to mash the gas, the passenger door opened. She struggled to climb inside the truck. Nathan rolled his eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Nathan, I'm sorry. Please. Please don't leave."

"You honestly think I'm gonna stay in that house after what you assholes tried to pull?"

"It was for your own good. We love you, Nathan. We were trying to help you, protect you."

"Well, looks like you just wasted your time."

"Come inside. Let's talk."

"No!"

"What are you going to do? Where are you gonna go?"

"I don't know…"

"Please. Just calm down. I'll get rid of everyone. I'll even leave myself but just go back inside."

"Whatever."

"You're a drunk, Nathan!"

"And you're a bitch, so are we even now?"

Tears filled her eyes.

"Nate…"

"Get out!"

"No", she said meekly.

"I'm not fucking around! Get out of the car!"

"No!"

Nathan smirked as he shook his head, then took another drink.

"Fine. You want to be the hero? Be my guest!"

He stomped the gas so hard that the SUV left skid marks. They took off at record pace down the winding, paved driveway.

"Nathan! Oh my God! Slow down! What are you doing?" she cried.

He was incensed! All he wanted was to break away. It was her choice to follow him. She was the one who couldn't leave well enough alone. All that time she must have known deep inside how he really felt about her. He just wanted to get away. And she had run after him and jumped in the vehicle. Now she had the nerve to cry?

"Quit fucking crying!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

"You're scaring me. Please just stop shouting."

Nathan laughed a sinister laugh.

"What's the matter? You scared? Is it too much? Is the music too loud? Am I too loud for you?"

"Nathan, watch the road!"

"Hey, I'm driving! You're the one who insisted on tagging along. Now you need to sit back and enjoy the ride. I have this under control."

"Nathan!"

"How could you do that to me back there? Huh? How could you let them do that? An intervention? Are you out of your mind?"

"I…we were just trying to help you."

"Do I fucking look like I need help?"

"Yes!" she screamed. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Nathan, take a look at yourself! Look what you're doing to your life and the people that love you. You're tearing us apart!"

"Tearing you apart? Are you joking? Tearing you apart? Fuck that! What about me? You think I don't know I'm losing it? I know! I know because I'm the one that looks in that mirror everyday and sees someone staring back that I don't even recognize anymore."

"Oh Nathan…"

"No! Don't give me that pity! Stop crying! Look at me! See what I am and not what you want to see! Fucking look at me!"

"Nate, just pull over and we'll talk this out. It will be okay. But I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"Are you blind? Look at me! I'm tired!"

"Tired of what?"

"Tired of all this shit! I can't do this anymore! I can't be Nathan Scott the great basketball player! I can't be Megan's perfect husband! I can't be Dan and Deb's son! I can't be Lucas Scott's little brother! I need to be someone else! This is killing me!"

"Okay but what is this accomplishing? Why are you doing this?"

"Shut the hell up!"

"You're drunk, Nathan! Please!"

"No, I'm not", he took another swig. "Okay, maybe now I am."

"Nathan, stop! You're going to kill yourself!"

He smirked.

"You think I give a rat's ass?"

"Nate!"

"You know", he said as he opened another beer. "Know what my problem is? And Dad's and Grandpa's and Luke's and Jake's and Andy's and hell, even now, Chris Keller's? I'll tell you…women! You're all no good! Nothing but fucking trouble! God put you on this earth as a cruel joke just to fuck us men over."

"It's not like that. You know how much I love you!" she turned the increased volume down.

"What are you doing? Don't touch my radio! You know I hate that! I've always hated when you do that! You know better!"

"I'm sorry", she tearfully whispered.

"You think I'm crazy, huh? You must think I'm really fucked up."

"No…"

"Yeah you do. Don't lie to me. And you think when the baby's born, I'm gonna screw that up too."

"No. No, you won't. Because you are a wonderful, kind, caring person with a big heart. You will make a great dad. I've always known that."

He shook his head as sweat began to drip from his body.

"Don't patronize me."

"I'm not. I…"

"Shut up!"

She screamed as they took a curve too close.

"Nathan, slow down!"

"Stop screaming in my ear!"

"I'm sorry but you're scaring me."

"You're scared, huh? That's funny. Remember how excited I was when I was drafted to the NBA? Remember the press conference?"

"Nate…"

"Answer me!" he boomed.

"Yes. Yes, I remember."

"Everything was perfect then. For that one night it was so good."

"It could be good again. Just calm down…"

"No!"

"Pull over and let me drive us somewhere safe."

"Hell no!"

"Nathan, you're gonna get us killed!"

"What? You don't like my driving?"

"You're driving like a maniac!"

"How do maniacs drive?" he swerved the wheel sharply. "Like this?"

"Nathan!"

"It's cool. I am an athlete, remember? I've got reflexes like you wouldn't believe."

"Stop it!"

"Whoops", he laughed as he jerked it a second time.

"This isn't a joke!"

"It's not? Because I think it's pretty damned funny!"

He swerved sharply for a third time, his eyes dead on her almost enjoying her fear. Her eyes widened and she clutched at her seatbelt.

"Nathan! No! Nathan, look out!"

He turned but it was too late. He saw the person on the bicycle but he was too close to turn or even brake. In a split second, the bike was bumped and the rider went airborne, literally bouncing off the Cadillac's windshield before hitting the pavement with a sickening thud.

The truck lapsed out of control and careened left, then forward and then to the right where it landed in a shallow bank. Nathan hit the airbag hard. His whole face ached. God, it hurt! His hands touched his bruised cheekbone and felt the blood rushing from his nose. Except for the excruciating pain, he was okay. But then he saw her. She was hunched over, her body almost crumpled in an inhuman like position. She was motionless, blonde hair covering her face.

"No!" he tried to rouse her. "Are you okay?Talk to me! Please say something! Mom!"

But Deb didn't move a muscle.

Nathan sat there in stunned and devastated silence, tears mixing with the blood on his handsome face.

"Dear God", he whispered. "What have I done?"


	101. A Family In Limbo

"Well, anybody else have anymore brilliant ideas?" Brooke asked sarcastically.

It was the first words spoken since Nathan had stormed out of the house and Deb had insisted on chasing after her son. The room had been deadly silent, no one quite knowing what to do or say.

"Well, uh, I guess I should be going", Coach Bickerstaff sighed. "My wife is waiting for me. I'm sorry we couldn't do more for Nathan but let's hope everything settles down in a few hours when hopefully he cools off. I'll deal with him tomorrow at practice and we'll take it from there."

They murmured their good byes to him as he left. Despite their best efforts, they had failed. Grossly. Miserably. All of them.

"We shouldn't have let him leave like that", Lucas mumbled.

"Like we could have stopped him, Broody. You saw how mad he was."

"I don't care. We just shouldn't have let him go. He was mad and drunk…not a real good combination."

"We did our best, honey", Karen tried to comfort him. "Let's just hope Deb can talk some sense into him."

"I can't believe she got in the car with him, Mom. I'm worried. Maybe someone should call…"

Dan sighed loudly as he whipped out his cell phone and dialed his wife. Their hearts skipped as it rang back loudly from her purse, which was still placed nearby on the floor.

"So much for that", he shrugged.

Karen rolled her eyes.

"Can we be spared your comments, please, Dan? Some of us are actually worried about your lost, depressed, enraged, drunken son who is behind the wheel of a vehicle right now with his mother, your wife, in the passenger seat."

"Concerned, eh? How did you expect Nathan to react after this ridiculous ambush? You're as much to blame as anyone."

"Damn you, Dan!"

"Shorty, you mind putting a muzzle on your woman?"

"Look!" Andy shouted, jumping up.

"Okay, okay, okay", Keith waved his arms. "Everybody just stop. This isn't helping matters. We need to calm down. No use in attacking each other."

"You tell them, Boozy", Dan smiled as he stood with car keys in hand. "Now I'm going to look for my son."

"That's not a good idea, little brother."

"Oh? And just who are you to tell me what to do?"

"Dan, this isn't about you or me. Right now it's about Nathan and Deb."

"I know that. That's why I'm going to actually look for my family instead of standing around here talking about it. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Mr. Scott, I don't if that's such a great idea", Jake spoke up. "With all due respect sir, and I'm not trying to butt in family business but you saw how Nathan was when he left here. He probably felt like we ganged up on him. I just don't think it would go over well if you went running after him right now."

Dan smirked.

"You say you don't want to butt in family business, is that right, son?"

"Well, yes sir…"

"How about this? Then don't."

Jake lowered his head.

"Don't yell at him", Peyton scoffed at Dan.

That was the problem. Everybody was yelling at everybody. In their concern and desperation, nerves and tensions were high and on edge.

"This is all my fault", Lucas said in a barely audible voice.

"That isn't true, dear", Mae put her arms around him.

"Yes, it is. This was my idea. All of it. Brooke begged me not to but I didn't listen. I called Peyton and I convinced her to go along with it all and we called Meg and put this whole thing together."

"It's okay, Lucas", Jules sighed. "You were just looking out for your brother."

"Wonderful", Dan rolled his eyes. "As we all sit here and praise and comfort each other, in the meantime, what the hell do we do about the idiot running loose on the streets right now?"

"Someone should try Nathan's cell phone", Laurie suggested.

"The idiot I was referring to is Deb but okay…it's a plan, right?"

Brooke shook her head in disgust as she dialed the numbers.

"You know, I've just about had enough of 'evil Dan'", she rolled her eyes. "Damn. He's not picking up."

"This isn't your fault, Lucas", Megan said softly. "If anybody, it's me. It's my fault."

"Meg…"

"No. Think about it. Nathan wasn't his bad before we got married. I drove him to see this. He's this way because of me. And he's only with me because of the baby. I'm not stupid. You all know it and I know it, too. I've known for a while now but I was just grasping at straws because I love him so much and because I wanted our baby to have a father and because I was so damned concerned with having the perfect image. But nothing is perfect anymore, is it? All the image and the money and the talent and so called perfection in the world isn't enough. Nathan is miserable. He hates everything about his life. He hates me."

Lucas moved over to his sister in law and put an arm around her.

"Don't go beating yourself up, Megan. Nathan doesn't hate you…he hates himself."

Laurie ran her fingers through her hair.

"Well, this is absolutely ridiculous. Someone needs to find him. The both of them, especially before Nathan goes off and does something stupid to embarrass us again. My husband has a reelection to think about."

"Unfuckingbelievable", Brooke said out loud. "It's nice to know you're more concerned with stupid politics than the welfare of your own son in law. That'll go over real well on your next little family values rant. Why don't you put that in your campaign?"

"Brooke, calm down, babe", Lucas grabbed her.

Megan put her head in her hands. It had turned into a circus. No one could get a decent, logical word in edgewise for everyone else yelling over top of them. It was a real madhouse.

"This isn't helping", Whitey tried. "Let's speak one at a time."

Even his booming voice and normally commanding presence was ignored. Nothing could get anyone's attention…that is until the telephone rang. Everyone stopped in mid sentence, hearts racing as they looked at each other. Finally snapping out of the initial shock, Megan practically ran to answer it.

"Hello?" she said nervously into the receiver.

"Is this the Scott residence?"

"Yes, it is."

"May I please speak with a Megan Powell Scott?"

"This is she", she replied nervously. "May I ask what this is about?"

"Mrs. Scott, my name is William Mann and I am with the North Carolina State Patrol. If you don't believe I am who I say I am affiliated with, I'd be more than happy to give you the number so you can call me back."

"No. No, that won't be necessary. Please. Tell me what's going on. Is this about my husband? Is he okay?"

Mann took a deep breath. He had been on the job over 20 years and phone calls like that never got any easier to make.

"Ma'am, there has been an accident."

"What kind of accident? Oh God…"

"Your husband was apparently behind the wheel of his SUV when he struck another a young man on his bicycle."

"What? Oh no! No! Is he okay? Is the man okay? I want to talk to Nathan!"

"The cyclist, Mr. Scott, as well as his mother, have all been taken to the hospital."

"Are they okay?"

"I'm sorry. I can't release that type of information. You might want to head on over to the ER."

"Please! You can't just call and tell me something like this! I have to know! At least tell me if they're alive."

"I'm sorry, ma'am", he hung up the phone.

Upon hearing Megan's end of the conversation, everyone had flocked around her. She dropped the receiver, tears in her eyes, hands shaking, pale as a ghost.

"Meg, what's going on?" Lucas asked, out of breath.

"I…oh my God. Oh my God."

She began to cry and lose her footing, Royal being nearest to her to help her onto a nearby chair.

"Megan, get a hold of yourself!" Dan snapped. "What happened?"

"There was an accident. Nate…Nathan hit some man on a bike."

"Are they okay? Are they alive?"

She looked up with a horrified expression on her face as her entire body began to tremble.

"I don't know."


	102. Nine Lives

****

**_Author's Note: Thanks AGAIN and always for the amazing level of support. I love you guys! And congratulations to all you for surviving my evil and carefully plotted weekend cliffhanger,lol!_**

**_Danielle- Very perceptive on catching what was my muse for the whole Deb/Nathan confrontation in the car. No one else (to my knowledge caught that). Great eye!_**

RoseRows- Uh, "FG"? Girl, you know how I HATE to toot my own horn but what the hell? Yeah, I can definitely dig that! LOL! J/K! You are way too kind to me...

It was so dark! And so cold! Nathan's heart pounded. Where the hell was he? What was going on? Then his mind began to flash so vividly and so violently that he put his throbbing head in his hands. And the noise! God, where was it coming from? So loud! He was literally shaking all over. Crouching down into the fetal position, he dared to peer up and when he did, he saw a literal movie of his life. The images flashed before him…Deb helping him blow out the candles at his fourth birthday party, Dan coaching him in Little League when he was 7, fishing with Royal at age 9, riding in a race car with his Uncle Cooper at 13, every high school basketball game he had ever played in…he could see Whitey yelling at him and Lucas just looking at him. Then he saw her. He slipped a wedding ring on her finger, she took her wet shirt off just moments before he proposed, she cried over Lucas and Keith's accident, she jumped on his back as they playfully recorded a silly message on the answering machine, he put the bracelet on her wrist down by the docks, she solemnly walked away and handed Chris her bag as she boarded Michelle Branch's tour bus. The pictures played so quickly and he could feel each moment as if he were still there…

"No!"

Nathan awoke with a jolt.

"Calm down, man. It's okay. It's okay. I've got you."

He could hear Lucas' voice and when his vision finally focused, he saw his older brother's face. Luke sat down on the bed, his calloused hands firmly gripping both of Nathan's bare arms.

"Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital."

Hospital? Nathan looked around. The small dark room. The machines beeping. The smell. There was a monitor taped to his chest. Panicking and screaming, he ripped it off, swinging his long legs over the bed as he desperately tried to stand.

"No!"

"Nate, sit down, man. It's okay."

Suddenly the memories came flooding back and this time they were no dream. It was all real. Painfully real. Speeding down the narrow, dark, twisting roads. The rap music blaring. Deb's pleading. The horrendous sound the truck made as it collided with a human body on a bicycle. The spiral that sent the SUV careening towards the ditch bank.

"Mom!" he cried out like a wounded little boy.

"Nathan, don't rip that thing off. They were monitoring your heartbeat because of your concussion. You were lucky man. You walked away with just that and a banged up face. The shiner and the bruises will go away but it could have been worse. A whole hell of a lot worse."

"Fuck me, dude! Is she okay?" he asked, breathless, his blue eyes darting around. "Is Mom alive?"

Lucas took a deep breath.

"She's okay. Her arm is broken and she got a pretty nasty bump on the forehead but other than that, she's alright."

Nathan breathed a huge sigh of relief but it didn't last for long.

"The guy…Luke, there was this bike and…"

"Yeah", Lucas sighed heavily. "Michael Sanchez is his name."

"Did he make it?"

"Yeah…for now. Look, man, I don't want to lie to you. His injuries are pretty bad. The doctors say it's touch and go. Dislocated shoulder, punctured lung, two fractured ribs, ruptured spleen, bruised kidney and he had a lot of internal bleeding."

"Oh my God…"

"He made it out of surgery but now it's pretty much a waiting game."

"Shit", Nathan muttered.

Lucas looked at his little brother, tears in his eyes as his still handsome face bore the brunt of a purple and dark blue marks.

"What happened, dude?"

Nathan opened his mouth to speak but what could he really say?

"I don't know, man", he whispered.

"It's gonna be alright. Just wait for the doctor to come in and check you out."

Nathan nodded nervously. He had really fucked up this time and he knew it. He had nearly killed his mother and another human being. And for what? He closed his eyes. He was just thankful they were okay and any pain they were in or if God forbid they were to die, he'd gladly take their place in a heartbeat.

"Mr. Scott? How are we feeling, sir?" a young man dressed in scrubs asked as he entered the room.

"Like ass", Nathan muttered.

"I'm Dr. Brown, the attending that treated your injuries. I must say, you're a very lucky man."

"Yeah? That's what I keep hearing."

"Just keep an ice pack on that eye and the facial X ray came back negative for a broken nose. You should heal pretty quickly."

"Doc, I know the cops have been asking questions and they wanted a blood test", Lucas spoke up. "What…"

"Am I going to jail?" Nathan asked matter of factly.

Dr. Brown shook his head.

"Talk about lucky days, Mr. Scott. You must be a cat with nine lives and you've already used up two of them. The tests came back and your blood alcohol point was at 0.07."

"What does that mean?"

"The state limit is 0.08. That means you were under. Legally, you were not drunk."

Nathan and Lucas exchanged relieved glances as De. Brown completed his exam and left to make the discharge arrangements.

"Oh man", Nathan groaned out loud.

Lucas slumped back in his chair, exhausted.

"You want to see your mom?"

Nathan shook his head. Of course he had wanted her to be okay and he was glad she was but he didn't want to see her. Not just yet. He wasn't ready. He couldn't.

"No, man."

"Okay."

"I don't want to see anyone. Please. And Luke please don't let Dad in here. I…"

"Alright. Just try to relax, Nate. I'm gonna go and check things out and see when we can get you out of here."

The door shut and Nathan was once again left alone with his thoughts, thoughts as eerie and dark as the room he was confined to. They had called him lucky but he didn't feel anything but. In fact, he felt awful. The emptiness and the anger inside him continued to fester and it was uncontrollable. He wanted to curl up in a little ball and just die. Thank God no one had been hurt but he couldn't help but question why he, himself, had survived? Maybe he'd be better off dead. Maybe they all would be better off without him.

"Luke, are they gonna let me out of here?" he asked as the door opened again.

"They're filing the paperwork now", a soft voice that didn't belong to his brother, answered.

"Meg…"

She just stared at the broken, battered body laying before her on the bed.

"Hey."

"Hey", he said back.

She cleared her throat as tears welled in her eyes.

"You okay?"

He looked at her for the first time.

"No."

She nodded. Of course not. How could he be?

"Nathan", she began after many moments of dead silence.

"I'm sorry, Megan. I didn't know. I didn't mean it, any of it. It was an accident. You've got to believe me."

"I know you didn't mean for it to happen but it did. You hurt yourself and Deb and another innocent person."

"I know. "I'm sorry and I know."

"And for what? To run away from your life? Your parents and your career? Me…yourself?"

He looked away.

"Yeah. Yeah…I guess I was running from all that."

"Now what?"

He winced in pain as he shrugged.

"I don't know."

There was a soft knock on the door followed by Luke's entrance. He nodded at his sister in law as he stood over his little brother's bed.

"They're gonna let you go tonight but they have a list of instructions a mile long about what to do to watch out for that concussion for the next 48 hours. You're gonna need someone to help you."

"Yeah", Nathan sighed.

But who? Who would help him? This was all his fault and probably no one wanted to be around him. Could he even blame them?

"I'll get a hotel room", Lucas suggested. "I'll take care of you, man, stay with you and all."

"Thanks, bro…"

"That won't be neccasary, Lucas", Megan interjected.

"What?"

"You don't need to get a room. Stay at the house. You and Brooke. You're family and despite everything that has happened, she may as well be."

"What about…"

"Nathan, too. He's my husband and I…we took vows, remember? You know, it's easy to stick around when things are good but it's a real testament to keep hanging out for the bad stuff."

Nathan looked up at a woman he had loved, hated, hurt, taken care of, disrespected, cherished, insulted and admired sometimes all at the same time. That fierce "stand by your man" love and strict Catholic upbringing. So many times it had annoyed him but at that moment it endeared him. In his darkest hour when he had nothing, like always, he had her.

"Meg…"

She put a finger to his lips. One sentence said it all…

"For better or worse."


	103. Who's Your Daddy?

**_Author's Note: This is the 2nd update of the day! Please make sure you received chapter 103 (the chapter following the "weekend cliffhanger") as some readers didn't get the alert._**

Haley stirred from her position on the couch. For whatever reason, sleep had been impossible in her own normally comfortable bed. So she had found solace in the living room. Chris had slept over and they had ended up staying up to late jamming on their respective guitars. The unexpected entertainment had been just the cure for her insomnia. Chris Keller wasn't so bad after all. She had really gotten to know him over the years. Sure the brash, brutally honest, and slightly cocky rock star persona was still there but underneath it all, was a very sweet man…and a really good friend.

They had played music and munched on snacks, finally ending with falling asleep side by side on the couch in front of the television. They had been awakened shortly after dawn when the key turned in the lock and Taylor had come stumbling in from either a night of hard working or serious partying and considering what she did for a living, probably both. The two had frowned and grumbled sleepily as she had teasingly sang something like, _"Haley and Keller, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Haley bub with a baby carriage…whoops! Wrong order and wrong father, but what the hell?"_

Chris had thrown a pillow at her and she had giggled all the way to her bedroom, leaving the two to drift back into a somewhat restful slumber. Both were dead exhausted but Haley had been awakened when she felt a sharp pain in the side of her abdomen. She sat up and leaned forward, noticing Chris' sock covered feet were pointing in that direction.

"Damn!" she yelled.

"You okay?"

"No! That hurt. Damn, Chris, did you just kick me in your sleep?"

He shook his head as he sat.

"No but I felt it."

She put her hand on her belly and realized that he indeed had not been the culprit. In a series of sometimes forceful flutters, the baby was moving up a storm inside her.

"Ouch", she muttered.

"Does it hurt?"

"No…well kind of but not really. I guess it just feels weird. I don't even like sharing a bathroom so it still is taking a bit of getting used to actually sharing my body with someone else."

Chris stared at her in awe.

"It's amazing", he whispered.

"Yeah", she rolled her eyes.

"Can I…do you mind if I feel?"

She looked at him and in his eyes she saw an intense sincerity.

"Okay", she said, taking his hand and putting it on the area where she felt the most activity.

Chris grinned broadly. He could feel the movements and it was beyond incredible. He pushed gently into her stomach and after a few seconds, the baby would push back, almost as if they were playing a game.

"Wow", he said stunned. "That's pretty cool."

"I guess", she shrugged and looked away.

Chris was more excited than she was. In fact, Haley hardly showed any happiness or enthusiasm about her pregnancy and impending motherhood. Another sign that her depression was deepening. Gently he had tried to confront her and convince her to seek help but the meeting had ended up with her catching a major attitude and storming off so for the moment, he had decided to let it just be.

"Haley…"

"Chris, whatever it is, whatever you're gonna say, just don't okay? Please. I'm not in the mood."

He nodded as he sighed.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yeah. I'll spare you the lectures or the latest article I read in the baby magazines."

"Thank you."

"But can I just say this?"

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Chris…"

"Oh come on, James. Throw me a bone, hot stuff", he smirked.

"I'd rather neuter you…slowly but okay. Go ahead."

"Seriously, I'm here for you. I mean that. I know I've said it before but whatever you need…"

"I know. I appreciate it."

"Remember when the music thing took off? Your first show on the tour?"

"How could I forget? Washington D.C."

"Remember how scared you were?"

"Petrified."

"Yeah. It was like a cycle. At first you only sang for yourself or your family. Then for your friends, then it slowly built up to Tric but when it came to playing bigger clubs and arenas, you were scared to death."

"Hell yes, I was."

"And what did I tell you? What did I say to you?"

She smiled faintly at the distant memory.

"You told me not to be scared. You told me I had a great voice and that Michelle obviously believed in my talent and that's why she wanted me on the tour in the first place."

"And what else?"

"You said…you said if I got scared or if it got to be too much, to just look over on my right and you would be there for me just like an angel on my shoulder. You said you believed in me…and I knew you did."

"That's right. And it still stands, Haley. I know this must be rough. I know you're doing the best you can. No one expects you to be perfect or have all the answers and if you don't, then that's more than okay. And just like before, if you get overwhelmed…then I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here for you and the kid and whatever you need."

"Why?" she asked, water clouding her eyes.

"Because that's how much I love you", he stated simply and quietly.

"Oh Chris…" Haley moved away.

That was the last thing she needed or wanted to hear.

"Haley", he pulled her arm back towards him.

"No", she whimpered.

"It's okay, Haley", he breathed huskily. "It's okay."

His lips captured hers. God, she was so soft and she tasted so good. He loved kissing her, although he hadn't in years. It didn't matter. He'd wait for her forever…if he had to.

She kissed him back, caught up in the rapture of the moment. His tongue softly probing hers as his hands warmed her back. It felt so good to be wanted, to have that intimate human contact. Like she had twice before once upon a time, Haley James gave in and allowed herself to get lost and kiss him back. Then pure logic would take over and she instantly pulled away.

"No!"

"Haley…"

"Chris, I can't…"

"It's okay."

She pushed him.

"No! No, it's not okay, Chris! God! Quit saying that! Look, I'm not trying to be ungrateful because I do appreciate everything you've done for me. Musically, I wouldn't be where I am without your guidance and your connections. And you've been an awesome friend when I really didn't have anyone else. I love you for that but I love you as my friend. Chris, I'm sorry but we've been over all this before. There could never be anything more between us…not then and not now. Especially not now."

"I just want to help you…"

"I know. I know that and I'm so thankful for it because I need you but please, please don't read into this for something it's not. I thank you for reading all the baby books and helping Tay with the nursery and going with me to my OB appointments. And I could never repay you for sticking by me through all this paparazzi shit because so many times you could have said 'screw it' and had your publicist publicly deny the child or worse, you could have ratted me out but you didn't."

"And I never will. You know that."

She bit her lip.

"Yeah…I do. But you're not the baby's father, Chris."

"But I could be. I mean, damn, Haley. What is a father anyway? Simple biology? Or someone who actually gives a fuck and who will be there no matter what?"

"I'm sorry…" she closed her eyes.

Chris hung his head.

"Yeah…me, too."

He stood and reached for his jacket and keys.

"Are you leaving?" she asked.

"Do I have a reason to stay?" he responded. "Besides, I really think you need to be alone right now, you know, think some stuff out."

She nodded but at the same time she didn't want him to walk out that door. Gosh, why did everything have to be so damned complicated? Her thoughts and his exit were interrupted by the sound of the TV.

"…In other news from North Carolina, Charlotte Bobcats Point Guard and Badboy, Nathan Scott was involved I a serious vehicle accident last evening. According to published reports, his luxury SUV spiraled out of control, stroking a bicyclist before crashing into a nearby embankment. Scott was treated and released for minor injuries as was his mother, a passenger in his car, who suffered a broken arm. The cyclist, 21 year old, Michael Sanchez, is currently listed in critical condition. No word yet on whether alcohol was a contributing factor. The Charlotte Bobcats could not be reached for comment and Mr. Scott's people have yet to release a statement. In other entertainment news…"

Haley's chest heaved as she stared at the TV. Accident? Her mind reeled back to the game the week before in Texas to an obviously emotionally tortured and drunken Nathan. She had known then that he was in trouble but what could she do? They had decided to keep their lives separate, that made more than crystal clear when he had married Megan and turned his back on her when she showed up at the reception.

But how could they remain separate now? He was the father of the child she was carrying. And obviously no one else had been able to reach him. That's because no one knew him like she did. God, he must be so afraid. What had happened? And whether it was public knowledge or not, Haley had the sinking feeling that alcohol had more than a little bit to do with the incident.

Chris smirked and shook his head.

"Congratulations, kid", he said towards her stomach. "There's Daddy."

"Chris…"

"You both must be so proud", he said, slamming the door behind him.

She jumped at the noise, pulling her fuzzy, old robe closer to her trembling form.

"What the hell is with all the noise?" Taylor grunted as she emerged from the bedroom, headed to raid the kitchen.

Haley couldn't answer. All she could do was put her head in her hands and sob.


	104. Damage Control

**_Author's Note: Lindsay, Lindsay...first of all, who the hell watches Everwood? And second, you KNOW the kids are already named but nice try, lol! You frazzle me, babe!_**

**_This chapter was written in my extreme fatigue for Cathy, so that she wouldn't have a nervous breakdown, lol..._**

**_You guys are the BEST!_**

Peyton pulled up the house that looked more like a command center than a home. People were buzzing about, whispering as televisions broadcast the latest breaking developments concerning Nathan's accident. A few reporters were camped out on the massive front lawn.

"Peyton Sawyer?"

"Yes?"

"Miss Sawyer, Alex Stockton, Daily News. Can I get a statement about Mr. Scott?"

"How do you know my name?" she questioned.

"Was Mr. Scott intoxicated at the time of the accident?"

Peyton looked around uncomfortably. She wasn't used to having microphones shoved in her face.

"No comment", she said, pushing her way into the house.

Once inside, she didn't recognize anyone. Finally she saw Dan sitting behind a large desk barking orders like the President.

"Peyton!"

The blonde breathed a huge sigh of relief. She hadn't been that excited to see Brooke in a long time.

"Hey you", they hugged. "What the hell is going on here?"

Peyton had been out of the loop as real life had called. She and Jake had to return to Tree Hill to their own home and jobs and especially to their daughter. Still she had a connection and bond to the Scott brothers and despite the many mistakes Nathan had made, she had to be there for him. So she and Jake had made arrangements so that at least one of them could schedule time to make it to Charlotte as often as possible.

"You don't want to know", Brooke rolled her eyes. "This place is a freaking zoo."

"What is Dan doing?"

"Damage control. The press is all over this and it isn't looking good for Nathan. They're eating him alive."

"What did you expect? I mean, do they know anything? Like what happened before and all?"

"Not yet but it's not from lack of trying, trust me. But Papa Dan is on the counter attack so we'll see."

"How's Lucas holding up?"

"Worried sick about Nathan. Calling every five minutes to check that Sanchez guy's condition. Feeling guilty about it all. He's a mess. It's all a mess."

"What about Nathan? I know he wasn't legally drunk but he was at fault and there was alcohol in the car. Are they gonna charge him with anything?"

"Reckless driving, if you can believe that. That's the same penalty anyone who drives 20 over the speed limit would get. And he almost killed two people."

"But the alcohol?"

"What alcohol? Dan Scott had that truck cleaned up before the cops could process any evidence."

Peyton shook her head in disbelief.

"Where is everyone?"

"Mae and Whitey are here somewhere and Karen is in the kitchen. Broody had a game in Seattle and Royal is no doubt working on whatever plan Dan and Megan's cuckoo parents have cooked up next. Deb and Megan are in the living room."

Peyton peered in. The women sat quietly, Deb's injured arm secured in a cast and sling. The minute Megan saw her, she stood up and walked over.

"Hey, Peyton. Thanks for coming back", she hugged her.

Peyton was taken off guard by the embrace but returned it nevertheless. They were all under stressful circumstances and all they had was each other.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm okay."

"And Nathan?"

Megan lowered her eyes.

"He's not so good."

The three girls moved their conversation over to a more private area near Deb. Brooke gave Megan a sympathetic smile. Even though she stood by every comment she had ever made during their arguments, even now Brooke couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of sympathy for Meg.

"We'll get through this", Peyton sighed, flopping down on the sofa. "Somehow."

"Megan, there you are."

Dan joined them followed sure enough by his loyal subjects, Mark, Laurie and Royal. A sullen Nathan lingered behind.

"Is something wrong, Dan?" she asked.

"I need you to make a phone call", he said, handing her a piece of paper with digits scrawled on it.

"To who? What's this?"

"Clara Sanchez, Michael Sanchez's wife. Call on behalf of the Scott family and let her know how sorry we are."

"What?"

"You know what to do. Make it short and sweet but be sure to appear sympathetic."

"Dan…"

"He's right, sweetheart", Mark nodded. "The last thing we need is these people getting any ideas about a lawsuit."

"Unbelievable", Deb shook her head.

"No. I'm sorry, Daddy, Dan. I can't do this."

"Why not?"

"It isn't right. Imagine what their family must be going through. And you want me to call his wife because it looks good? So she won't sue? That is mean and tacky and just plain ridiculous. I won't take part in it."

"I wasn't asking you", Dan said in a more stern voice. "This isn't a democracy. Make the call."

"Dan, you can't make her do that", Brooke started.

"Stay out of this one, Princess. I can make her do whatever I want and this has to be done. Megan is a Scott now and this must be done out of Scott loyalty."

"Scott loyalty? What a crock of shit!"

"Easy now. You're well on your way to being a Scott, seeing as how you've almost slept your way into getting an engagement ring from Lucas but you're not quite there yet. So until then, I make the rules and you can stay out of Scott family business."

Brooke scowled. If anyone ever had questions or doubts about Dan's ruthlessness or sanity, the deal had finally been sealed. It was official…he was a heartless madman.

"Why me?" Megan almost whined. "Why do I have to do it?"

"One grief stricken wife to another", Dan smirked. "It will look better coming from you."

Megan felt trapped. She looked panicked. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

"No. I can't. I won't. Nathan?" she looked at her husband.

He was the one person that could and would back her. All he had to do was stand up to his father. Instead, he looked at the floor and shoved his hands in his pockets. Megan was all alone.

"It's for the best, honey", Laurie assured her. "It's okay. You can do it."

Like she had a choice. Megan fought back tears. Dan smirked as put the phone on "speaker" mode with almost a jubilant, gleeful feeling. Her own father dialed the number when her hands were too slow and shaky.

It began to rang and Megan's heart jumped.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Sanchez? Clara Sanchez?"

"Yes…please. No more reporters. Leave our family alone."

"No, ma'am, I…I'm not a reporter. My name is…this is Megan Scott, Nathan's wife."

There was an audible gasp on the other end.

"Mrs. Scott…"

"I'm so sorry to bother you. I just wanted to call and express my heartfelt concern on behalf of both the Scott and Powell families. We are so very sorry for what happened to your husband and if there is anything we can do, please let us know. We've experienced unfortunate events in our own lives as well so we do sympathize with you."

"We are coping…praying."

"And we're praying for you. Like I said, if there is anything…"

"Anything like what? Mrs. Scott, you think writing a check will make this all better? You people with your fancy cars and houses and politics can make everything okay?"

"No, I…Mrs. Sanchez…"

"Don't insult me."

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry if I offended you…"

"Be sorry that your drunk husband almost killed my Michael. My husband is lying in a hospital bed, eating through a tube, fighting for his life day by day. Where is your husband now? On the golf course? Shooting hoops?"

"No…"

"Did you know why my husband was riding his bicycle at night?"

"No, I…"

"Of course not. Because you probably don't give a damn. But I'll tell you anyway. Michael works two jobs. He's not some rich and famous NBA hotshot but he is a decent man who does whatever it takes to provide for me and our two kids. Our car broke down a couple of weeks ago and we didn't have money to fix it so my husband dusted off his bike and pedaled almost ten miles back and forth to get to work."

"Oh my…"

"Yeah. We don't get to choose between the Beemer and the Lexus and the Mercedes."

"I…I had no idea", Megan stuttered. "I'm so sorry. Whatever I can do…"

"Keep that wino hubby of yours off the street before he hurts any more innocent people", the young woman tearfully hung up.

Megan, Peyton, Brooke and Deb looked stunned. Nathan simply walked away.

"Oh my God…"

"That went rather well", Dan mused. "Early 20's, no car, a couple of kids…I'd say they settle before this things gets ugly and goes to court."

Megan angrily shook her head.

"You disgust me. You all disgust me", she walked away.

"Dan", Deb stood.

"Have a seat, wife", he laughed. "Before you break your other arm."

Peyton wanted to say something but she couldn't find the words. Brooke took it right out of her mouth.

"Unbelievable."


	105. Forever's Silent Promise

Lucas jumped when his phone rang. He looked at the Caller ID absolutely stunned before answering it.

"Hello?"

"How is he?"

Sure enough it was her.

"You heard?"

"Who hasn't? Luke, what the hell is going on down there?"

Lucas sighed.

"Nathan is out of control. He's losing it."

"I know. His game was on the other week and he was drunk."

"I know."

"I can't believe he would do that."

"Believe it, Hales."

"But what about Megan? Their baby?"

"He's happy about being a dad and he and Meg are working out their differences and stuff."

She cringed when she heard him talk about Nathan being a father. Little did he know, they all know, that she was about to double his pleasure, so to speak.

"Is…is he going to be in trouble for any of this?"

"Legally, probably not. Dad and Megan's father are in cahoots so they bought his way out of that one."

Haley closed her eyes. The image of Dan interfering made her sick to her stomach. Some things would never change.

"What about basketball?"

"Nothing is official yet and it won't be until the press conference later this week but the NBA isn't happy. They are suspending him indefinitely and I'm sure he's gonna lose a lot of endorsements."

"And the other guy? The man on the bicycle…"

"Michael Sanchez is his name. He's improving, thank God, but he's not out of the woods yet. He has a long, painful recovery ahead of him.

Haley's hands twirled around the phone cord.

"Poor Nathan. He must be a wreck."

"He is. He's literally stunned walking around like a zombie. I haven't seen him this bad since you…"

Lucas stopped mid sentence.

"Luke…"

"Sorry, Hales."

"No. It's okay."

"I'm on my way back there later today. We're sort of camped out in Charlotte waiting to see what happens. Brooke is there, too."

Haley sighed sadly.

"This is killing me, Lucas. Maybe it shouldn't because it isn't my business or my place but it does. Even before the accident and even now, every time I see his face on TV or in pictures, he looks dead. It's so sad. What happened to him?"

"Life", Lucas breathed.

"Or maybe me?"

"I don't know", Lucas answered uncomfortably.

"I wish I could see him or talk to him."

"I know but that's not…"

"A good idea. I know. Trust me, I've thought about it."

"He's so fragile and everything is so complicated and so many people are involved. It just might make things worse."

"I know."

"And the media is all over him like white on rice. They're brutal. You coming here would light one hell of a fire."

"Don't I know?" she almost laughed. "The paparazzi just loves me."

"Yeah, about that…"

"So I guess you know my little secret, too."

"Yeah, I do. Um, I…"

"It's okay."

"You sure? I mean, are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Yeah. Um, everything is fine."

Lucas rubbed his aching head.

"How did we get like this, Buddy", he let out a tired sigh into the phone. "Sometimes, I wonder how things got so messed up."

"Yeah…me, too."

"Hales…"

"Luke, can you just do me a huge favor? Please?"

"What?"

"I know I can't, so will you look after him for me? Take care of him."

"I always do."

"I know but he needs you now more than ever."

"I know."

"And you have to be there for him. It won't be easy, Luke. And he won't make it easy on you but whatever you do, don't turn your back on him."

He could hear the desperation in her voice and it touched him. She still loved him and obviously he still loved her. God, where had things gone wrong to the point of no return? Nathan needed someone but it wasn't his brother. The one person he had always needed couldn't come to him. It was just too hard.

"Okay, Haley."

She wiped away at tears and tried to control the growing emotion in her voice.

"I'm sorry…"

"About what?"

"Everything. Everything…"

"Haley…"

"No. This is all my fault."

"Hales!"

"I have to go", she hung up.

She barely got the receiver in its holder before she broke down in a sea of misery. With her head in her hands, she sobbed harder and louder than ever before. Wiping her face, she stood and walked down to the lobby of her building. A pay phone was adjoined to the wall. Fishing in her pocket for change, she found some quarters and loaded them into the slot. **NO INCOMING CALLS **said the phone, which in all likeliness meant it couldn't be traced. She tried desperately to remember the number and called it as her baby began kicking furiously against her inner walls.

"Yeah?" came the gruff answer.

Haley's heart melted as she felt her knees grow weak.

"Who is this?"

She put her hand over the speaker and turned her mouth away from it.

"_It's so good to hear your voice", she said._

"Hello? Is anybody there?"

"_I know it's hard and I know you messed up but you're only human and people make mistakes. It's going to be okay."_

"Who the fuck is this?"

"_I wish I were there to hold you, protect you…make the pain go away like I vowed I would forever. Oh baby, I am so sorry."_

"Look asshole, I don't know how you got this number but don't call back again! What part of 'no fucking comment' don't you jerk offs understand?"

She heard the distinct click and knew he had hung up. Her heart sank again as her hands found her vibrating tummy.

"_I love you, Nathan", she whispered. "Forever…"_


	106. Just Another Pawn

**_Author's Note: As always, I enjoyed reading the numerous, wonderful reviews. I thank you all and ask that you keep the feedback coming. With that being said, as long as you're somewhat articulate about it, I don't care if it is negative or positive. Feel free to discuss what happened in the chapters and what you did or did not like. It's cool to rant about the characters. BUT if I hear one more complaint about someone "being sick of waiting for Naley to get back together", I am going to scream! First of all, I know how this ends...the rest of you will have to wait until I write it. And if you're sick of it at 107 chapters, then you just wasted your time reading and my time reading your review. Be freaking patient! This thing is llloooonnnnggg and I think I warned you guys about that 40 or so chapters back. So here's a "spoiler"...it ain't ending anytime soon and it might not end the way you want or expect it to. So why do we have to CONSTANTLY go through this? I always give you guys a chance to rant so here's mine! I am in MAJOR bitch mode right now so today is not the day..._**

**_Now onto the story... (Flashback sequence written in Italics)_**

Megan stared straight ahead, wondering where she had gone wrong, where life had gone wrong. Maybe it was karma. Even though she had always been a great person, maybe she'd had too many good days in her life. Maybe she had been too happy and God was punishing her, taking away all the nice so other people could have a turn for once. Was that how it worked? If so, what a punishment it was!

She looked over at a picture of she and Nathan, taken the night of the NBA draft. It was one of the greatest nights of his life, one he had worked for years to make a dream come true. He had been so happy. And she looked and saw two, vibrant, smiling faces and wondered where those people had gone and what had happened to them? She barely recognized them anymore.

Closing her eyes, she let her mind drift back to a time when things were simple and happy and…normal…

_The handsome, young athlete with the piercing blue eyes nervously approached the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority house. He wore neatly pressed khaki pants, a blue shirt and tie. The tie was almost yellowish in color but his older brother had insisted that it was cool. Nathan had his doubts though. He thought he looked like someone had just dumped a jar of mustard on him and that blue…what the hell? How did he ever let Lucas pick out his clothes? The outfit looked like something his mother, Deb, would have dressed him in for a family photo opp when he was four! And the blue was too light anyway and his face turned crimson when he felt a dampness under his pits._

"_At least I smell good", he said aloud with a cocky grin._

_He knocked on the door, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a fresh bouquet of flowers. It opened, the other side filled with giggling sorority girls. Some of them were pretty hot and Nathan cringed, hoping he hadn't slept with any of them._

"_Hi", they swooned in unison._

"_Um, hey. Is…is Megan around?"_

_They parted like the red sea and a vision of loveliness in a red dress and black strappy heels walked towards him. She was more tanned than he remembered and her eyes, bluer than his, were gorgeous and sparkly. It was also the first time he had seen her hair straight but he loved it. She was beautiful._

"_Hi", she smiled._

_He was awkwardly silent for a moment, tongue tied as he realized he hadn't been on a real date since…oh it didn't matter. He closed his eyes. The last thing he wanted to think of was "her"._

"_Hey. Uh, these are for you."_

_More giggles from the peanut gallery._

"_Thank you", she smiled sincerely, sniffing the bundle. "I love fresh flowers. They're beautiful."_

_He waited for her to put them in water, then he walked out to his car, remembering to open the door like Lucas had drilled him about. He remembered to keep the stereo at the minimum and drive the speed limit to the Italian restaurant he had planned to take her to. They had reservations and he pulled the chair out for her._

_They talked about school and sports and music. She wasn't into a lot of things he liked but for the first time, he didn't find himself bored listening to her. She was actually pretty interesting. And when it was his turn to talk, she listened attentively. She didn't give him the goo goo eyes and hang onto his every word like the rest of the Scott boy groupies. Instead she gave him her full attention and added to the conversation when appropriate. She had a big smile and an even greater laugh. On a scale of 1 to 10, the date was already at a 20 but there was one more "test" she had to pass and Nathan was waiting anxiously._

_There was nothing sexier than a girl who took care of her body. Nobody was more into the hourglass figure than Nathan Scott but his biggest pet peeve was when girls went out and only ordered a salad and water for the meal. Nathan was a big eater and when it came down to it, he could dig a chick who could hang with him at the dinner table._

"_May I take your order, sir?" the waiter asked._

"_Uh, yeah…I'll have Portobello, Asparagus, Lasagna, Risotto Pescatore, Chocolate Raspberry Cake for dessert and whatever beer you have on tap", Nathan said before handing over the menu._

_He waited to see what Megan would do._

"_And for you, madam?"_

"_Wow, everything looks so delicious but I think I'll go with Bruschetta, Caprese, Linguini, Risotto ai Funghi…oh with Pollo Teran and Lemon Sorbet for dessert. Red wine, please, the oldest Merlot you have, thanks."_

_Nathan smiled to himself. Score! _

_They enjoyed dinner and he found himself not wanting the evening to end. There was something mildly fascinating about the pretty blue eyed blonde with the dynamite grin who carried herself with the ultimate touch of Southern bred class and sophistication but wasn't above guzzling Budweiser straight out of the can or laughing at the latest dirty joke._

_The two drove around aimlessly for hours before ending up at a nearby karaoke bar where they sang a few duets badly. Finally it was late enough to call it a night and he drove her home. He pulled up to the sorority house, butterflies swirling inside his stomach. It was almost funny. He had never been that nervous before. Usually it was a keg and a few shots at a party or a club, ending in a few sweaty hours with some random hot chick. Sex was no big deal. He loved it, the girls wanted him and it was just one more thing he was good at. Now here he was terrified over a few idle moments alone in the car._

"_I had a good time tonight", she smiled._

"_Yeah…me, too."_

_He tapped his fingers anxiously on the steering wheel. He wanted to kiss her. Was it okay? Was it the right moment? Did she want to? Would she like it? Was she ready? Or was it too soon? Oh God! What if she slapped his face? What if…_

_His thoughts were interrupted by the shocking but sweet feel of Megan pressing her lips onto his. It took him a few seconds to comprehend what was going on but once he did, he totally reciprocated gently of course with just the right hint of passion. They pulled away breathless. Nathan was at a loss for words._

"_Good night", she grinned. "I'll call you."_

_He watched her walk up the steps and disappear inside. "I'll call you". Damn, that was usually his line. Sometimes he meant it, sometimes he didn't. God, he hoped she sure did…_

The annoying jingle of some dog food commercial brought her back to the present tense. The local news was on. Meg watched the weather and the consumer report, then a photo of Nathan flashed on the screen behind the lead anchor. More breaking news, she thought as she rolled her eyes. "Breaking news" wasn't good news and it was her life on display for whole the world to see.

It was pathetic, really as she looked on the screen and saw herself walking with her husband. She had known better. They already had photographers hiding in the bushes, staking out their private property and digging through their trash. It was obvious the moment they set foot outside, the story hungry media would be all over them. And that's just what Dan Scott wanted.

A staged opportunity, he called it. For Megan, it was sickening. She looked at herself, blonde hair blowing into her face hidden by sunglasses. A large coat protected her huge belly. Her gloved hand was placed in Nathan's.

"Mr. Scott…Nathan…Nathan, over here! Any comment on the accident?"

"No."

"Do you have anything to say regarding Michael Sanchez's condition?"

"Just that uh…what happened was, was a terrible tragedy. And I, um, I mean we…my family is praying for his recovery and his family", Nathan stammered, struggling to remember the words he had been told to say.

"Nathan, what about the rumors of a possible investigation and suspension by the NBA?"

"I can't speak for them but I know I am innocent of any wrongdoing in this situation and I know, uh…um, my name will be cleared…soon. I, I don't expect this unfortunate incident to have any affect on my career."

"Nathan! Over here! Look this way! Megan! Mrs. Scott!"

The reporters were relentless as a cool looking Dan made a space for the married couple to walk. Then the shot cut back to the studio. Megan laughed bitterly. Once again, it had come down to image. Save the Scott name. Save the Powell name. Save the election. Keep that façade of perfection always going. She shook her head. She was disgusted with her parents, her father in law and her husband. The only thing that disgusted her more was herself…and that she had allowed them to manipulate her into being nothing more than a pawn in their selfish, twisted game.


	107. I Scratched Your Back, Now You Scratch M...

It was cold outside, exactly what one would expect on a North Carolina night the eve before Thanksgiving. But Nathan sat on the back porch. There he could be alone. Alone with his thoughts, away from the prying reporters, and his relentless family and friends. It didn't matter that he wasn't wearing a jacket. He didn't care that he was freezing. He only wanted what little bits of peace he could salvage.

"Beautiful night, eh, son?"

Nathan rolled his eyes, avoiding his father's intense gaze.

"What do you want, man?"

"Here", he tossed him his coat. "It's pneumonia weather out here, jackass. Put that on."

"I'm not a little kid, Dad. I don't need to be looked after."

"You could have fooled me", Dan scoffed.

Nathan sighed out of sheer exasperation.

"Dad, what is it? Huh? Why did you come out here to bug me? What do you want?"

"Would you believe me if I said to spend quality time with my son?"

"Uh, let me think about that one…hell no!"

Dan laughed.

"Okay. I actually came here just to hear you say 'thank you' but with your stubbornness, that obviously won't happen so I'll settle for some good old fashioned quality time."

"What the hell am I thanking you for?"

"Oh for lots of things. Let's see. Tomorrow is after all Thanksgiving. A special holiday where we give thanks."

"What the hell do I have to be thankful for?"

"You're alive…you're rich…you're talented…you're good looking. And you're my son. What more could anyone ask for?"

"That last one is not by choice, trust me", the younger Scott muttered.

"What is it now, Nate? Why are you pissed off at the world this time?"

"Dad, I just want to be left alone, okay? Is that too much to ask? I'm in a mood and I just want to be by myself. You of all people should understand that. Besides, I know why you really came out here."

"And why is that, Nathan?"

"To flip out on me and give me a big lecture about getting suspended from the team."

Dan shrugged innocently.

"And why would I do that?"

"Save the act, Dad. I know you."

Dan smirked.

"Well, if you know me like you say you do, then you'd know that this suspension deal won't be lasting for long."

"What?"

"You heard me. I am going to fix it."

"How?"

"Does it matter?"

Nathan slammed his fists down and rose to his feet.

"Yes, it matters! Look, man, I don't need you fixing stuff for me. You've done enough."

"You don't need me, huh?" he laughed. "Excuse me while I regain my composure. That's just too funny. After all these years and everything that has happened, I can't believe you and Lucas still have that mentality. Of course you need me."

"No, we don't. You can bet on that."

"Really? Think about it, son. Where would you be without me?"

"Probably a lot better off."

"You think? Well, I beg to differ. Where would you be if I hadn't gotten you out of that incident when you and Tim and Jake and the other clowns decided to steal a school bus? Or the time after Ms. James did her infamous disappearing act and I pulled some strings and got you into High Fliers? And who do you think paid for college after you lost your academic scholarships because your grades sank faster than the Titanic? And the latest incident when you decided to get plastered and kill your mother and some poor schmuck on a bike? Who the hell do you think kept your ass out of jail? Who got rid of the beer bottles you left behind, Boozy II?"

Nathan scowled.

"I didn't ask for that, Dad. I never asked for any of it."

"Fine. You're absolutely right. So how about this? I'll stay out of the NBA matter and let you get fired and lose your endorsements and source of income. Then in the spirit of all that is right and fair, I will call the police and tell them the truth about the night of the accident. And to really square our karma, let me go inside and tell your wife what really happened in the Dominican Republic with your little Britney Spears wannabe. When she finally comes to her senses and kicks you out on your pathetic ass, I'll stand idly by as she takes you to the cleaners and gets what's left of your meager bank account. How about that, son? Is that what you want?"

Nathan didn't answer. He couldn't.

"Like I thought", Dan said in victory.

"Whatever."

"It's a simple life, my boy. You make things much harder than they have to be. You're just like your mother in that aspect. Why can't you let me make this easier on you? On all of us?"

"How are you gonna do that?"

"I have my ways", he laughed evilly.

"Yeah, I just bet you do. Sorry but I'm not shaking hands with the Devil."

"You already did", the father told him. "Now, I've done a lot for you and I will continue to do so. After all, you are my son. But I can't be the only one doing all the giving in this relationship. There are going to be a few changes around here, Nathan."

"What are you talking about?"

"Let me enlighten you, son…"

"What? You're blackmailing me now?"

Dan pretended to be hurt.

"Such a harsh word. Nathan, I'm shocked and deeply saddened. Of course not. Don't think of it that way."

"How should I think of it, then?"

Dan smiled as he thought for a moment.

"Let's think of it as a system. We're partners…equals, buddies even. I scratch your back…you scratch mine. What do you think?"

Nathan shook his head and rolled his eyes. Like he had a choice in the matter. His father had him by the balls and they both knew it.

"What do I have to do?" he grumbled.

"Now we're talking. The rules of the game are simple. I only need you to do three things for me."

"I'm listening…"

"Number one…straighten up with the basketball. No more piss poor playing, no more ejections, no more mouthing off to the coaches, no more missing practice or showing up for work late or intoxicated. Got it?"

"What else?"

"Two…work things out with Megan. She's your wife for God's sakes. Get your act together and make it work. Do whatever you have to do to make her happy. I want you to be a good husband…and a good father."

"And three?"

"Last but certainly not least. The third thing is the most important…Nathan, you are never, ever under any circumstances to have any contact with Haley James whatsoever."

"Dad…"

"No! No if, ands or buts about it. She is what started this whole mess. That girl has been nothing but trouble ever since you met her and you know it. Now I'm putting my foot down and trying to stop this mess and save you from yourself before the ghost of this woman destroys you and everything we've worked for."

"Dad…"

"Do I make myself clear?"

Nathan hung his head.

"Oh yeah", he finally said in a sarcastic tone. "Crystal clear, Dad."

"Good. Then this little matter is resolved. We understand each other, I take it."

"I guess we do. I understand you alright, Dad. I just don't understand how I let myself get caught up in your game and fall at your mercy."

"Tough position but you'll survive", Dan smiled.

Nathan just shook his head, amazed that he and Lucas had been spawned from the human personification of Satan that stood arrogantly before him.

"What the hell have I gotten myself into?"

"I just saved you from yourself, son", Dan nodded as he went back into the house. "It's a little chilly so I'm going to have a cocktail by the fire, then rouse my wife to see if I can score a little. I suggest you do the same."

Nathan was disgusted. Maybe Dan had saved him from himself but there was a bigger question at hand. Who would save him from Dan?


	108. Thanksgivings, Misgivings and Forgivings

Haley groaned as she rolled over. She buried her face into her pillow, wishing she could stay in bed forever. Her baby fluttered lightly inside her and she sighed.

"Don't start, you", she warned it in a hushed tone.

The baby ignored her, kicking harder. She almost chuckled. Stubborn just like its father.

"Please", she begged and the movements ceased almost instantly.

She rolled back over, hoping to slip back into a deeper sleep. It was just another boring, miserable, cold day as far as she was concerned. Never mind that it was Thanksgiving. Never mind that it was holiday tradition for her to start off the day riding in the float of the Macy's Parade. Then she would spend the remainder at a shelter, helping to serve meals for the homeless and less fortunate.

This year she wasn't up to it. She wasn't feeling charitable or in any kind of festive mood. She didn't want to eat turkey or ride for hours on some homemade float in the blistering weather. Still a piece of her felt guilty so she had whipped out her checkbook and the day before had written one for three grand to contribute towards the purchase of some of the food. It eased her conscience enough so that she could wilt away in bed all day. Just as she found herself drifting away again, her ultra sensitive pregnancy nose caught a whiff of the smell.

Not just any smell but smoke. And not cigarette smoke. The other kind. The kind that said something was burning. Haley sat straight up. Oh God! The kitchen was on fire! The apartment was on fire! No, the whole building! How was she going to get out? And what about Taylor?

Breathing heavily, she opened her door and grabbed the fire extinguisher that was kept in the hallway closet. She took a deep breath and bounded towards the kitchen. But there was no smoke. There was no fire.

"Sis, what the hell are you doing?"

"Tay!"

"Were you watching Ladder 49 again? Look, it's totally cool if you're into Joaquin Phoenix but newsflash, he just lives down the block."

"Taylor…"

"If you're going for the lasting impression, I'd say hair pulled up, no make up, teeth not brushed, and a Buddha belly in a moo moo while banishing a fire extinguisher would definitely get his attention."

Haley rolled her eyes and stomped her small foot.

"Dammitt, Taylor. I thought the kitchen was on fire."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because something smelled like it was burning."

Taylor's eyes grew wide.

"Oh shit! My sweet potato pie!"

She opened the stove and a rush of smoke filtered out, causing both girls to cough as the smoke detector erupted in noise. Haley grabbed a broom and poked at it until it stopped. She opened a few windows as what was left of what one could only assume had been a pie once upon a time.

"Pie? Taylor, what the hell are you doing?"

Taylor shrugged as she wiped some flour that had landed on her forehead.

"Today is Thanksgiving, hel-lo! And usually people eat a Thanksgiving meal on Thanksgiving Day but not in this house apparently, thanks to you my depressed, mopey, evil, little sister. And you're the chef of the family and since it was obvious you weren't gonna get off your lazy, unhappy ass and cook, I took it upon myself."

Haley folded her arms and smiled.

"You're cooking Thanksgiving dinner?"

"Yeah…or at least trying. Here", Taylor shoved a list at her. "This is my menu. Turkey, of course with giblet gravy, oyster stuffing, homemade cornbread, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, turnips and sweet potato pie."

Haley couldn't help but be impressed as she examined the hand written list Taylor had put together. It hadn't turned out like planned but she would give her an A+ for effort and the sheer fact that she had done something for someone other than herself for once.

"Wow", was all Haley could muster.

"Okay, okay. I know I'm no Julia Childs but what do you think so far?"

Haley surveyed the kitchen. The gravy was too lumpy, the stuffing was too runny and the cornbread could have stood another ten or so minutes inside the oven. The cranberry sauce looked like the leaning tower of Pisa and the mashed potatoes looked more like mashed clay. The pie spoke for itself and Haley dared to peer into the pot where the turnips were cooking as they hadn't been washed properly and were now swimming in a stew of little black bugs. Opening the stove was a gorgeous, fat, golden brown, juicy, simmering turkey roasted to perfection. Haley stuck a knife in the center. Just as she had suspected…the bird was frozen solid in the middle.

The place was a disaster and the food wasn't edible for a pet but Taylor keeping herself busy and looking semi hopeful, well, there was no way Haley could hurt her feelings.

"Looks…interesting. I mean, great, Tay. Good job."

"Really?"

"Really. Now you keep up the fine work and I'm gonna go back to bed."

"Okay. I'll wake you when supper is ready, Hay."

Haley cringed.

"Please don't…I mean, okay but I doubt I'll be hungry."

"Okay but at least you can come out and sit with me. Chris was supposed to come over but you really pissed him off last time so who knows about that now?"

"I don't know…"

"You're gonna make me eat all alone?"

"You have friends…"

"But you're my family."

Haley sighed with frustration. Where the hell was her sister and who was the alien standing in front of her? Taylor had never given a shit about family and togetherness before?

"Tay, don't take it personal but I just don't feel like celebrating today, okay? Now, I'm going back to bed. If you'll excuse me…"

Loud banging on the door halted her mid sentence. Haley cursed out loud. Who could that be?

"You expecting someone, Taylor?"

The older girl shook her head as Haley opened the door.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Haley bub", he rubbed her stomach. "Looks like someone ate their butterball a little early."

She sighed.

"Hey, Dad. Hi, Mom. What a surprise."

"You know how we are", Lydia kissed her. "We admire and cherish the beauty of a sneak attack."

"And we couldn't resist visiting our girls, right, Lyd?" Jim asked. "And…damn! What in the devil is that odor?"

"Daddy!" Taylor protested, hands on her hips. "It's an aroma, not an odor. I'm cooking dinner."

Jim peered into the kitchen area.

"Holy smokes! Someone call the governor to declare a state of emergency!"

"Dad!"

"Haley, care to explain this little sisterly role reversal?" Lydia teased, hands on her hips.

"I…"

"I can explain", Taylor volunteered. "I'm cooking so we won't go hungry today because Little Miss 'I'm Depressed And My Life Sucks So Bad And I Hate The World' didn't want to."

"Shut up, Taylor."

"You shut up, Hay! I'm doing you a favor. This is all for you."

"Then God save me!"

"Look", Taylor threatened, a pile of potatoes positioned on a large spoon in perfect sling shot position.

"Okay, girls. You know the drill. Opposite corners", Lydia instructed. "Now tell me what's really going on. One at a time, please."

Haley started.

"I am not in a celebratory mood today and I didn't feel like cooking so my psycho sister here decided to do it, which is fine but now she's all hot and bothered because I don't feel like eating with her."

"Taylor?" Jim asked.

"It's not about dinner but the fact that I bust my ass to help out my ungrateful, pouting, bitch of a little sister who likes to lay around the apartment and piss and moan 24 hours a day. Frankly, I'm sick of it. Can't you just be unselfish for one day and pretend to enjoy the holidays, Hay?"

"Excuse me, Taylor if I'm not feeling very thankful. Not all of us have as many blessings to count as you being that you really lucked out with that whole Coyote dream job. Nice going, kiddo!"

"I hate you!"

"I hate you more!"

"Fine! I'm moving out!"

"Good riddance!"

"Okay, okay", Jim intervened. "Everyone calm down. Let's resolve this like the dysfunctional, crazy brood we are."

"Rock, paper, scissors, Daddy?" the sisters frowned in unison.

Jim rolled his eyes.

"No. We're going to talk it out like rational adults. Haley, your sister does have a point. She has been helping you out and she did work hard to do something nice for you. It's kind of rude to just dismiss that."

"Sure. Take her side", Haley scoffed.

"Your father is not taking sides, Haley", Lydia assured her. "Now you are pregnant and your body is going through all sorts of crazy changes so it's normal to be tired or to not be in a good mood all the time."

"Thank you, Mother", Haley smiled, satisfied.

"She's pregnant, not handicapped", Taylor protested. "And there's a cure for that disease…it's called keeping your legs closed."

"And you're just a poster child for that one!"

"Who got knocked up, Miss Perfect?"

"Girls!" Lydia stopped them. "Come on. Both of you have a little respect for what the other is feeling. Taylor, you did a good thing here and you should be proud and if Haley doesn't want to participate, your father and I will. And Haley, if you don't feel up to the holidays, that's perfectly understandable but don't ever sit here and say you have nothing to be thankful for."

"But…"

"But nothing", Jim continued. "You have a roof over your head and a comfortable bank account. You have food to eat. And God blessed you with a really special talent that has brought joy to fans all over the world who adore you."

"And you have a beautiful heart and an intelligent mind", Lydia smiled. "You have great friends and you have us. No matter how cuckoo we are or how much we get on your nerves, we're here. Dad and I love you more than anything and so do your brothers and sisters, even the one that is cooking impaired."

Haley managed a small smile.

"And you've got something more special and beautiful and magical that I could ever imagine", Taylor said softly. "It's going on inside your belly right now."

Haley looked away, embarrassed.

"I know it's supposed to be a blessing…but it doesn't feel that way sometimes. I know that's a horrible thing to say and I must be a horrible person…"

"You're not horrible", Lydia whispered. "You're just human. You're going to be okay, Haley. Even if you can't see it now. We love you and we're all here for you. And pretty soon, you'll have someone else here for you. You're about to give birth to your best friend."

Haley wiped away at tears.

"Mom, Dad, Tay…I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize", Jim winked.

"It's okay, Haley bub", Taylor said. "I forgive you."

"Thanks."

"Oh and all that stuff I said about moving out?"

"Yeah?" Haley asked amused.

"Just forget it. I was just kidding."

Haley nodded and chuckled.

"You still want to go lie down?" Lydia asked.

"For a little while, Mom. Just one thing…"

"Anything, baby."

"Will you come lie with me, Mom? Please?"

How could Lydia resist?

"Of course. Jimbo, Haley bub and I are going to have some girlie time, you and Tay try to make something edible out of this."

Jim winked.

"Sure thing, babe. Anything for my girls. We still eating at six?"

The three of them looked at Haley who sighed and smiled at her family.

"Six", she smiled finally. "Just like always."


	109. The Path To Redemption

"Megan, there you are. Just the woman I wanted to see."

She didn't even try to smile. What did she have to smile about? She had barely made it through Thanksgiving and the fact that her in laws, family and friends were still in and out of her home, roaming around freely as they pleased, even almost a month after the accident.

She wanted peace. She wanted to be alone. She wanted them all to go away. She wanted her normal, happy little life back, a life she could barely remember. So much had changed since then. She had changed.

"Dan", she acknowledged.

"Would you care to join me in the study?"

"Actually, I was just about to grab something for breakfast…"

"Of course. Breakfast, the most important meal of the day. And who am I to deny the essential nourishment of my grandchild but this will only take a minute."

"Dan…"

"Please."

She sighed.

"Okay."

Megan followed him into the large study, gasping as the door opened. Inside were various strangers wandering about. There were video cameras and still cameras. In the midst of it all was one of the most popular correspondents for ABC News.

Dan grinned proudly.

"Let's get you into hair and make up."

"Hair and make up? What? What are you talking about? Dan, what is going on? Who are all these people? What's with all the cameras? And why is Pamela Harris in my house?"

"Ms. Harris is here to interview you and Nathan."

"Are you kidding me?"

He gave her a sly wink.

"Of course not, dear. Now let's hurry. You go on in ten."

"No", she pulled away from his embrace. "Dan, I'm not doing an interview. Why should I? Are you crazy? The press has been like vultures. They camp out on our private property. They knock on the door and harass us, calling at all hours of the night, with no respect for our family or our privacy and when we refuse to talk them, they print hurtful, vicious lies."

"You're exactly right, Meg, which is why I arranged for all this today. As you know, Ms. Harris has an impeccable reputation as a serious and fair broadcast journalist and she is here to tell our side of the story."

"Dan, no. I…I can't."

"Megan…"

"Dan!"

"Don't you think this is a brilliant idea?"

"No…I don't know. You can't just spring something like this. For Heaven's sake! We need more time…"

"Nonsense. Besides, there's no time like the present, wouldn't you agree?"

Megan was certainly not in agreement. The ideas and schemes and acts seemed to get more ridiculous and more sordid by the day.

"Where is Nathan? Have you told him about all this? Dan, he's going to be furious! He'd never agree to such a thing."

"Oh really?" he smirked, pointing her in the direction of the room that has been designated for hair and make up.

Sitting sheepishly and nervously in the chair was a sullen Nathan who twiddled his thumbs as some woman fussed over his Widow's Peak.

"Oh my God…"

She couldn't believe it.

"Now, let's not be a diva and hold up production. They are waiting for you."

Tears filled her eyes.

"No", she practically begged. "I can't do this. Dan, please don't make me do this."

"You'll be fine", he ignored her pleas.

She didn't want to give a stupid interview. She didn't want the media in her personal life anymore. All she wanted was to be away from Dan and Nathan and her parents.

"I…I don't know what to say. Dan, what the hell am I supposed to say?"

"We'll discuss that in a bit. For now, let the nice ladies doll you up. You're looking a little pale."

She was walked over to a chair where two ladies brushed her locks straight and applied make up to her face. She felt dead. Megan looked over at her husband, her eyes beseeching him for help. He was the man who was supposed to protect her. But he wouldn't even meet her gaze.

"Mrs. Scott, take your place on the couch next to your husband and be sure to look into Camera 2."

Dan walked over joined by his father, Royal.

"Looks better", he examined her new look.

"Alright, darling", Royal barked. "Look alive. Smile, be pleasant and polite. Sit close to Nathan and when she asks you about the state of your marriage, you say it's glorious."

Megan couldn't help but laugh out loud. That was certainly the funniest thing she had heard in a while.

"So in other words, you want me to lie?"

Royal frowned as Dan stepped in. He was steadfastly losing his patience with the young girl. The interview was too important to botch. Nathan's entire future depended on it. If Megan wasn't up to the task, maybe it was a mistake to have her participate. The protective father was having serious second thoughts.

"Dad, I don't know if this was such a good idea. Maybe we should have had Nathan just do it by himself."

"No", the patriarch shook his head. "It'll look better image wise if his wife is next to him."

"But look at her. She's like a deer in headlights. What if she cracks under the pressure?"

"She'll be fine."

Megan rolled her eyes. She was tired of everyone else making decisions for her like she was a helpless child.

"Hel-lo! Over here, excuse me. I'm standing right in front of you", she waved her tiny hands.

"Of course you are", Royal nodded. "Now you can imagine how important this is. It's the first step in restoring your husband's public image. The good names of both the Scott's and Powell's are on the line, here."

"Megan, you need to be up to this. I don't care if you have to put on the performance of your life", Dan warned her.

"Lay off, Danny boy. The girl will be fine, won't you, Megan? When Ms. Harris asks how you feel about the Sanchez family, you appear concerned and sympathetic. When she asks you about your marriage, seem happy and supportive. Got it?"

Megan nodded. What else could she do or say?

"Yes, Mr. Scott. I got it."

"Good", he grinned. "Good girl."

Dan still seemed unsure, not quite trusting that his daughter in law could handle the pressure. Gone was the strong, confident, independent, articulate, expressive, sophisticated young lady Nathan had introduced him to just a few years ago. As of late she had been replaced with a quiet, timid, nervous, unhappy shell of her former self.

"I don't know…"

"Look, I can do it, alright", she finally conceded. "Dan, you're the one that set this up and dragged me into it. You started it, now let me finish it."

"Fine", he huffed. "But maybe it's best of you let Nathan do all the talking."

Megan rolled her eyes. She'd just about had it with them and all. And was Dan blind? Ever since the accident, Nathan had walked around like a solemn, mentally impaired mute.

"Yeah right. And I'm just so sure Mr. Articulate will eloquently and coherently express himself. Please. Give me a break, Dan. Really."

"She's right, son", Royal said. "Just relax. I think this little girl is on to something. They'll be fine. She will handle herself like the Scott she is, won't you, Megan? You'll make us proud."

"And what happens if Harris asks about the details of the accident or Nathan's drinking or God forbid, Haley James?" Dan grinded his teeth.

Finally it was Megan's turn to smirk for once.

"Then I'll let your son answer those", she said walking away. "After all, those are his fuck ups…not mine."


	110. The Performance of a Lifetime

The microphones were on. The cameras were rolling. It was time and Megan couldn't believe she was doing it.

"He is one of the most recognized faces in the country. A college superstar turned first round draft pick for the NBA. However in recent months, 23 year old Nathan Scott has received more attention for his antics off the court…"

"Cut!"

Pamela Harris, Nathan, Megan and the crew looked up to the voice who had just yelled the director's demand. It was none other than Dan Scott.

"Mr. Scott", Pamela said in disbelief. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Excuse me, Ms. Harris. Uh, Megan, do you think you could sit a little closer to Nathan? Nate, put your arm around her."

The red faced couple shifted awkwardly, their lame attempts at staged affection making for a more uncomfortable scene. Dan rolled his eyes, impatient.

"No", he barked orders. "Not like that. Megan, turn your knee toward him…"

Once they had been situated like the props they were, Pamela Harris was allowed to continue.

"…From the surprise revelation of his teenage marriage to singing sensation, Haley James, to their highly publicized divorce abroad which ended with a horrifying three days of being stranded in the tragic tsunami disaster. Rumors of infidelity, rumors circulating around the 'mystery father' of James' baby. The allegations that Scott showed up intoxicated at games and finally the accident one month ago that left three people injured and an innocent man nearly dead. We've all heard the rumors and we've all wondered but wonder no more. Nathan Scott and his wife Megan have agreed to their very first joint, lengthy, no holds barred, prime time interview."

The camera panned to a close facial shot of the married couple.

"I will begin straight to the point and without pulling any punches. Nathan Scott, for the record, are you an alcoholic?"

Nathan looked nervously at his father and grandfather before answering.

"No. Um, no I'm not. I know there has been a lot of speculation and whatnot but for the record, I…I do not have a drinking problem."

"Let's go back to the beginning to a little town called Tree Hill. In high school, you become emancipated from your parents during your junior year and you marry your girlfriend, Haley James."

"Yeah."

"What was all that about? It's not the norm, certainly not in this day and age, for two 16 year olds to get married."

Nathan shrugged. It was obviously a very touchy subject.

"I don't know. We were young and we made a decision because we thought we wanted to be together but uh, things didn't work out."

"Is there truth to the rumors that she left you for Chris Keller?"

Nathan cringed and tried not to have a coronary.

"Haley left to pursue her music career. Any rumors about her and Chris Keller, well, you're gonna have to ask her about that."

"Did you petition the court for an official dissolution of marriage?"

"Yeah. I, um, sent her annulment papers or whatever that she signed but it was a mix up and stuff with deadlines and the paperwork and it didn't go through but we didn't find that out until this past summer."

"So you went to the Dominican Republic for a divorce?"

"Yeah."

Why did this feel more like a cross examination rather than a simple interview?

"And after the proceedings, the tsunami hit, is that correct?"

"Yeah."

"What was that like?"

Nathan sighed. So much time had been spent trying to forget the nightmare now he was being forced to dig up terrifying memories.

"It was pretty bad. It was scary. There was an earthquake at first, then this huge wave. It looked like something out of a movie. It just didn't seem real. No one knew what was going on at first. But the water was sweeping people away and all around me people were screaming and dying and crying."

"How did you and Haley survive?"

"We climbed a tree and stayed there the first night and then the next morning we swam for higher ground and found an abandoned hut."

"How extraordinary. We've heard the tale a million times over. You and your ex wife stranded and surrounded by water for days surviving on coconuts. Unimaginable. Describe for our viewers the mood inside that hut."

Megan looked uncomfortable as Nathan nervously rambled on.

"I don't know. We were scared, I guess. Not knowing if anybody would find us. It was just really…tense."

"Thank God of course you were both rescued and recovered from minor injuries but I must ask…is it a coincidence that Haley James turned up pregnant with the dates eerily similar to the brief period in the Dominican Republic?"

"I don't know. What are you asking?"

"Is it possible that you are the father of Haley James' baby?"

Royal, Dan and Megan awaited the response with bated breath.

"No", he finally said.

"Are you in contact with her?"

"No."

"Are you in love with her?"

"I…I love my wife", he stuttered.

"So you have denied an affair with Haley James yet there have been rumors about other women. Strippers, cheerleaders, groupies, other celebrities…have you been unfaithful to your wife, Megan?"

"No."

"Okay now onto a subject we touched upon briefly earlier regarding your drinking, which some of said is out of control. You have denied a problem with alcoholism yet your behavior at a San Antonio Spurs game a few months back told a different story. Can you account for your odd behavior?"

"I um…I, I was sick with the flu and due to a late flight, I didn't have the chance to see the team doc and I know that was a very important game and I really didn't want to miss it so I took some over the counter meds, like cough syrup and cold tablets and stuff and…well, I don't know if I took too many or if it was too strong but it kind of messed me up."

Dan could barely contain his grin. He was a hell of a coach after all. His son had answered the question just like they had rehearsed.

"Any response to your recent demeanor and behavior on the court that has resulted in numerous technical fouls and ejections."

"I love the game. I play with heart and passion. Sometimes emotions get heated. I also feel like I've been hit with some pretty unfair and premature calls from the refs. I admit my temper has gotten out of control in the past but it's something I'm working on."

"And the compromising photos of you exiting a Philadelphia strip club?"

"It's innocent. I was just partying with some friends. My wife knew I was there and I had a beer or two but nothing happened. The tabloids just like to make a big deal out of stuff to sell magazines."

"What about the accident? Last month in your SUV with your mother, Deborah, as a passenger, you struck a cyclist on his bicycle. Michael Sanchez suffered life threatening injuries and has been through multiple surgeries. What caused that accident?"

"It was an accident, dude. I didn't mean it. It was dark and I didn't see him and I tried to swerve to miss him but I hit him and then went in the ditch."

"Have you had contact with the victim since and what is your attitude towards what happened?"

"Um, I haven't had direct contact with him, no, but my wife has been in contact with his family. And, uh, I'm sorry and my heart and prayers go out to them."

"And alcohol was not a factor? You were not driving while intoxicated?"

"If I was, I'd be doing this interview from jail."

Pamela nodded.

"I'd like to turn my attention to Mrs. Scott, the woman sitting beside her husband. You've listened to Nathan answer my questions and it's a lot to take in for any wife. Tell me, Megan, how have you kept your sanity through all this?"

"With God's help", she smiled politely.

"Have these series of unfortunate events caused a rupture in the marriage?"

"No. Um, it's definitely not positive but it's something we are dealing with."

"A lot of anger on your part? A lot of arguing?"

"No."

"Megan, you are six months pregnant and in light of all that's happened, you sit here composed and poised and almost saintly about it."

"Like I said, we deal with it. Family is very important to me. Nathan and I work out our problems in private. No one really knows us or what we think or how we feel."

"What do you think about Haley James?"

Megan was cringing outside but she never broke a sweat on the outside.

"I don't really know her. I only met her once. From what I could see, she is a very nice person. I also think she is a talented musician. Other than that, I have no opinion because I don't know her."

"And her pregnancy?"

Megan shrugged.

"I wish her and her family well."

She managed to get it out without gagging.

"Megan, tell me about the state of your marriage."

"Great. Um, Nathan…Nate is amazing. We really take care of each other."

"And the baby you're expecting?"

She smiled her first real smile.

"There are no words…I am beyond ecstatic. This pregnancy is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We are just thrilled and excited."

"Let me pose a question, first to you, Megan and Nathan you can jump in. What do you feel the future holds for you?

Megan took a deep breath and looked thoughtful.

"Hope", she answered. "Peace. Happiness. Good things for our family."

"And Nathan? Your future personally and professionally…"

"I just want to spend time with my family and my baby. I know my name and reputation will be cleared and I hope to be back on the court soon, doing what I do best."

"Alright. Thank you very much. Ladies and gentleman, Nathan and Megan Scott candidly, head on addressing the rumors and speculation. The biggest of question marks still loom but we wish them well. Signing off from Charlotte, North Carolina, I'm Pamela Harris, ABC News."

"…5, 4, 3, 2, 1…and we're off the air", the production assistant announced as the camera shut off.

"Bravo", Royal grinned, lighting a cigar. "Good job, darling."

Megan wasn't in the mood. They hugged her and she felt like she might vomit.

"You did us proud", Dan winked.

Megan just looked.

"Meg…" Nathan began.

"Please excuse me", she walked away.

She was humiliated, angry and disgusted. They all made her sick and what was worse was once again she had participated in such an idiotic and unthinkable plan. But she had pulled it off. She had done her wifely duties. Maybe investments and stocks were the wrong career for her. After the interview, she might as well have considered taking up acting. Why not? She was obviously good at it. Her latest performance could have earned her an Emmy, a Tony, and an Oscar!


	111. Changing Your Karma

**_Author's Note: MsCrazy- Thanks for your continued reviews. I love reading your comments and I appreciate the kind compliments. To answer your question, I do include some life experiences of my own in my stories. Of course, I haven't been through HALF of the angst of Naley here but I've had some pretty interesting experiences that I do like to throw in my fics..._**

The sun was beginning to peek out from behind the clouds on the brisk December day. The master bedroom of the Scott house was quiet as was the rest of the house. It finally belonged to its owners again as family members and friends had retreated back to their own residences. In bed, Megan lay on her back, hand on her belly as she stared absently out the window. Just inches away was her husband.

"You want some breakfast?" he managed to ask.

"No", she shook her head.

That's what their conversations had been reduced to. They weren't talking anymore, they weren't making love anymore. The two could barely look at one another. Nathan had been trying, or as much as he could under the duress of his father's orders but there was little reciprocation on his wife's end. The two may as well have been strangers.

The days were long and the nights even longer. Megan worked from home in the study and Nathan watched television or shot hoops when the mood hit him. It was weird not having basketball in his life and despite Dan's best efforts, the suspension still hadn't been lifted. The surplus of time left him alone with his thoughts and that was stifling almost. Sighing, he sat up.

"I've got to go do some stuff", he told her.

"Okay."

She left it at that and there was nothing more left for him to do than shower and dress. When he returned fully clothed to the bedroom, she was gone, obviously choosing to start her day still in nightclothes in the study. Grabbing the keys to the new Chevy Tahoe bought to replace the mangled Escalade, he wordlessly walked downstairs and got in his car. He cranked the engine and began to drive.

The hospital was unusually quiet as well. The staff went about the normal business, helping patients. No one seemed to notice the tall young man wearing the jeans and hooded sweatshirt with the cap pulled low over his face. Head down, hands in pockets, he wandered around finally finding the room he was looking for.

In the background, a radio hummed quietly. Flowers and balloons were everywhere as another young man lay awake but silent in the bed. Nathan approached him carefully. Then their eyes met.

"What are you doing here?"

Nathan sighed.

He only wished he knew.

"I…I don't know, man."

"You shouldn't have come."

"I just wanted to see you."

The bruised man laughed bitterly.

"Why? To ease your guilty conscience or to prove to the media that you rich boys have a heart after all."

What could Nathan say? He more than deserved the attitude.

"Look, I do feel bad. This is all my fault…"

"Damn right it's your fault!"

"But this isn't about the press or the public. It's about you and me…and what I did. I'm sorry, man. You might not believe that but it's the truth. And I'd give anything to trade places with you right now because you don't deserve what you're going through. I fucked up and I know I'm the last person you want to see but I had to do the right thing and be man enough to come see you face to face and apologize. And I know you're not looking for charity but if there is anything my family can do, anything I can do…just name it."

There it was. He'd said it. He'd spoken from his heart. Turning on his heels, he left to give Michael Sanchez his privacy.

"Wait…"

Nathan turned back around.

"Yeah?"

Michael sighed.

"Have a seat."

Nathan was surprised by the offer but he accepted it. He pulled a chair up next to the bed.

"Look, Mr. Sanchez…"

"Call me Mike."

"Okay…Mike, you have to know how sorry I am. I know I should have come here sooner but…I just didn't. I couldn't. The reporters are out of control and I wanted to give you some time with your family."

"Yeah…my wife told me your wife called."

"Yeah."

"And uh, we saw your little interview."

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"That was kind of bullshit but my dad kind of insisted on it. It's complicated."

Michael chuckled.

"I know how you feel. My old man is kind of a hard ass, too. He's always in my business with the wife and kids."

"Me too. Well, I don't have kids yet but my wife is pregnant."

"I know. I saw."

Nathan nodded as it went back to awkwardness.

"So…um, how are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a car", he joked.

"Dude…"

"I'm just joking."

"I don't know how you keep your sense of humor during all this, Mike."

Michael tried to shrug.

"What else do I have, man? I've got to get through it somehow. It's hard."

"Are the surgeries done with?"

"For now."

"They talking about letting you out of here soon?"

"Not soon enough. Hell, I've seen enough of this place."

"Maybe you'll be out in time for Christmas. You know, you could spend it with your wife and kids."

Michael looked away.

"I don't think so. I'll probably be in this joint for another month or so at least."

Nathan felt bad.

"Sorry…"

"I just wish they would hurry up and let me out so I can get back to work?"

"Work?" Nathan asked. "Dude, look at you. You don't need to be working."

"I have to. I've got a family to feed. My wife, Clara, already had to take a second job to help ends meet. I hate that", he sighed. "I hate seeing her have to work so hard. It sucks. You work your fingers to the bone and for what? Just so you can stay afloat, keep the bills paid. I want more, man. I want something nice for my family. I want my kids to wake up on Christmas morning and have a nice tree with plenty of presents underneath it. For once I want to be able to buy them nice toys. I'm tired of being a goddamned bum."

"You're not a bum, dude."

"Feels that way", Michael shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry", Nathan repeated.

He didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah…those are the breaks, I guess."

"I guess."

Michael took a deep breath.

"Why did you really come here? I mean, seriously."

"I had to", Nathan answered. "I needed to. Everything is so messed up in my life right now and most of it's my fault. I've done a lot of bad things. I've hurt a lot of people. I made a real mess out of my life. The thing is, I'm hurting too. And it took a long time to quit being so pissed off and recognize that. It sucks. I really feel bad for you but maybe in a selfish way, I had to come here so you could forgive me. Because maybe that's the first step in trying to fix all this."

Michael seemed to almost understand. The man before him was sincere and honest and…mortal. Nothing like the cocky, arrogant, above the law superstar he had seen on TV and read about in the papers.

"Look, man I have to admit, I was pretty pissed off at you."

"Join the club."

"No, I mean it. Being stuck here has given me a lot of time to think. I blamed you for everything. I was pretty angry. I know it was an accident and it wasn't like you meant to hit me but I felt like you didn't even care."

"I do."

He nodded.

"I know you do. I guess it wasn't easy you coming here today. It took a lot of guts."

"That's the least I can do, Mike."

"Well, I appreciate it."

"Why? All I can do is say I'm sorry."

"True but you really mean it…and sometimes, well, sometimes that's enough."


	112. The Inevitable Truth

Deb sighed in disbelief as she watched the television. She couldn't believe it. She didn't know whether to laugh, cry, scream or throw up. She shook her head sadly as the door bell rang. The pretty blonde made her way to the door, peeking out the peephole, relieved to see who was on the other side. Karen.

"Hi", she smiled tiredly.

"Hey you", the brunette said. "How you holding up?"

"I'm hanging in there."

Karen looked inside.

"I didn't see Gargamel's car outside so I take it it's safe to come in."

"He's gone, thank God", Deb rolled her eyes. "But even if he wasn't, you're still welcome. This is my house, too. Come in."

Karen entered and followed Deb to the living room.

"Business was pretty slow today at the café and I figured Shelly could handle it so I took off and did a little Christmas shopping."

Deb closed her eyes. Damn…Christmas was around the corner.

"I almost forgot. How does someone forget about Christmas?"

"You have a lot on your mind."

"I do. I barely made it through Thanksgiving."

Karen hugged her friend. They had gone close over the years, more than business partners. Deb was a sweet woman, too nice to be married to the dastardly Dan Scott. Karen genuinely felt bad for her.

"Dare, I say it will get better. I just hope you've been keeping yourself busy. Maybe we can do some shopping this week."

"Maybe but I don't know. I'm just not in the Christmas spirit. And with this damned arm…"

"Well the cast will be off in another three weeks and it'll be fun to get out and have some girl talk. We'll go shopping for the kids and the baby. It'll be fun…"

"Yeah", Deb sighed.

"So what have you been up to today?"

Deb grabbed the remote and pressed the "play" button to take the pause off of what she had been watching. It was the infamous Nathan and Megan Scott interviewed that she had TiVo'd.

"Have you seen this?"

Karen took a deep breath.

"Bits and pieces."

"This is my 12th time if you can believe it."

"Deb, don't do this to yourself."

"I can't help it. Look at him. I can't believe Dan and Royal. Of all the harebrained, ridiculous, devious schemes they have pulled over the years, this one definitely took the cake."

"I feel bad for Nathan…for both of them."

"Those poor kids. They look so uncomfortable. It was totally rehearsed, which is obvious."

"How are they?"

Deb shrugged.

"Not so good. I haven't really talked to them since we got back here, not that I talked to them that much when we were in Charlotte. They aren't in real talkative moods and who the hell can blame them?"

"It's been tough. Hopefully the holidays and then with the baby due in March…who knows? Let's pray that it gets better."

"I pray all the time for them. For all of us. God just doesn't seem to be listening. Things just keep getting worse."

"Is Nathan…you know, still drinking?"

"That's one positive from this whole accident. According to all reports, he hasn't touched a single drop of alcohol."

"That's good."

"Yeah but he's racked with guilt about what happened to me and Michael Sanchez. He won't talk about it, of course, but I know my son. Keeping all the emotions bottled up inside doesn't help."

"How is the NBA thing going?"

"I don't know. We haven't heard anything yet. Dan is working on it feverishly, mind you."

"I'm sure. What about Megan?"

"Same. It's really been rough on her. Poor thing. She has been through hell and back these last few months. I feel so sorry for her. I mean, how much can one person take? And I think she is reaching her breaking point. Nathan really hurt her and she's tired of his crap. Not to mention Dan and Royal manipulating her. I'm sure she must feel like a puppet."

"I'm sorry, Deb."

"Me too. My main concern is for my son and for Meg and especially for my grandchild. You'd think for once Dan could be a little unselfish and have a heart. No, not my husband. He's more into image and Nathan's basketball career. It's so awful. He should be ashamed of himself. You know, I love Nathan more than life and as much as I hate Dan sometimes, I am forever grateful that he gave me our son but I can't help but feel like I failed Nathan."

"You didn't."

"I'm not so sure. I'm a terrible mother."

"No, Deb. No, you're not. You're a wonderful mother."

"Then why does he hate me?"

"Nathan doesn't hate you. He's just in a difficult place right now."

"And it's all my fault."

"How do you figure?"

"For most of our married life, and I don't have to tell you this, but Dan has been a real monster. Nathan has bore the brunt of that for years. I knew it but I was too busy dealing with my own pain. I should have protected him more."

"You did the best you could under the circumstances you had to deal with."

Deb fought back tears.

"That's not good enough, Karen. Now it's too late."

"It's never too late."

"You know, I spent so much time resenting Haley after she and Nathan got married. I was so angry. I was afraid they were making a huge mistake, ruining their lives. But I was wrong. They were in love and in his darkest days, she saved him. Hell, sometimes I think she is the only one who can."

"Only Nathan can save Nathan", Karen said quietly.

"He's so lost right now. Sometimes, I think this baby is his last chance. It's the only thing keeping him going. I just pray that he is a better father than Dan is and was."

"He will be. Nathan is not Dan. And our kids are not us."

"I'm not so sure about that, Karen."

Karen was taken aback. It was something about the way Deb said what she said. Did she know about Haley's baby? How could she? But that was her grandchild. She had the right to know. And things had gotten so bad for everyone, one more thing couldn't possibly be worse. Maybe the real truth would somehow set them all free…

"Deb?"

"Yes?"

"There…there's something I have to tell you."

"Okay", Deb wiped her eyes. "What?"

Karen took the deepest breath of her life.

"Deb…"

"It's okay. We're friends. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I…I know. Um, Deb, I just…uh, I, I just want you to know…that whatever it is you're going through, I'm here for you. I mean that."

She chickened out at the last millisecond. It wasn't her place to tell although the earth shattering news was on the tip of her tongue. After all, Haley had trusted her when she had trusted no one else. And Karen had given her her word. That had to count for something.

"I know", Deb smiled through tears. "And I appreciate that. Thank you, Karen. You're a good friend."

Karen nodded sheepishly. She had always strived to be a good friend and just a good person altogether. Those same important values she had tried to instill in Lucas. She just hoped Deb would feel that same way when the shit hit the fan. Somehow in her heart of hearts, she just knew it would. Eventually. It was inevitable.


	113. It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christ...

Megan sat quietly rocking in the chair. The room was silent and dark but it brought her a bit of comfort to know that in a few months the beautiful sound of her baby crying would hum throughout the walls. She smiled as she rubbed her stomach, staring at the perfect nursery. The only thing missing was her son or daughter.

"Can I come in?" asked a soft voice and an even softer knock.

She looked up. It was Nathan.

"Yeah", she answered.

He walked into the room slowly.

"Look, I…"

"Please…leave it off", she instructed referring to the light he was about to turn on.

"Sorry", he mumbled. "Look, it's Christmas Eve and all and our families are downstairs and this place is gonna be a madhouse tonight and tomorrow so I wanted to give you your present early."

"You didn't have to get me anything", she answered quietly.

"I know…but I wanted to. So here. I hope you like it."

He handed her a small box and she opened it, the glow from the moon shining in was the only source of light. Megan opened it slowly gasping as she saw what was inside. It was a simple gold, rope chain with an amber pendant. She smiled. She loved things like that and he knew it. It was simple and beautiful.

"I love it, Nathan. Thank you."

"I'm glad. I've got some more stuff for you under the tree but I wanted to give this to you now."

"It's beautiful."

He nodded and shifted his weight.

"Yeah…well, I'm gonna get back downstairs to the madness. Grandpa is passing out the cigars and eggnog and Grandma is on the piano playing for the Christmas Carol sing along."

Megan smiled.

"Sounds fun."

"Oh yeah", he playfully rolled his eyes. "It's a real hoot."

She nodded at him.

"You go on ahead. I'll be down in a minute."

"You sure? I mean, I know it's a lot to deal with. If you don't feel like being around a bunch of people, I understand. I could just tell them you're resting…"

"No. It's okay. As good as that sounds, I think I'll be alright. May as well deal with it now. I have to face them sometime, right?"

"Right", he nodded.

"Hey Nathan?" she called out to him.

She played with the piece of jewelry in her hands.

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for my necklace", Meg said again. "It's a really great present."

He smiled in the darkness and disappeared in the hallway. Her fingers played with the amber stone. She sighed. It was the perfect gift from the man she loved. Her husband. She was six months pregnant with their child and it was their first married Christmas. It should have been the happiest time of her life but it wasn't. Instead it was a time of fear and confusion mixed with a little mass hysteria. They had been through so much. So many times she had questioned his motives for marriage and his love for her. Now for the first time, she was questioning her love for him.

She would always love him. He would always have a chunk of her heart. They would always be connected through their child. But hanging onto a dream and hoping for change and an ending of happily ever after no longer cut it. It wasn't fair to anyone.

Closing her eyes, she summoned the strength she had left. She clasped the chain securely around her neck and stood. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't hide out forever. It was time to face the family. Reluctantly she walked down the stairs to the first floor of her home that was filled with various people happily drinking and talking. Eggnog and brandy, along with an assortment of cookies lined the kitchen.

"Meg! There you are, my darling", Laurie hugged. "Just in time to join the party. It's in full swing. Now how was your nap?"

"Fine, Mom."

"You're looking rested and beautiful."

"Thanks…"

"The photographer will be here in the morning to take the family portrait by the tree and…"

"Tomorrow? But Mom, it's Christmas."

"Of course it is."

"Who works on Christmas?"

"We should be lucky. He's very good. It won't take long. Right after sunrise mass, then a nice family breakfast and…"

Laurie hugged her and began to go on and on about the tree and Christmas and pictures and everything else. Megan thought she might lose it and start screaming right then and there but she was saved by the image of her little sister, standing over their mother's shoulder, poking her tongue out. It wasn't much but a silly face from Samantha was enough to save her sanity, even if it was only temporarily.

"Megan, come sit by me", Mae beckoned. "We could use your voice, dear."

Meg hesitantly sat by Mae at the piano. She looked around. Her entire family was there. So were Keith and Jules, Dan and Deb and of course Royal and Mae. Dan looked at her and smirked, raising his glass at her. She suppressed the urge to vomit.

"Okay. On my count. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, take it from the top, girls…"

_I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,_

_Underneath the mistletoe last night,_

_She didn't see me creep,_

_Down the stairs to have a peep,_

_She thought I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep,_

It was like a freak show. The Powell's cheerily joined in as a more subdued Deb, Keith and Karen sang along as just not to hurt Mae's feelings. But wearing a Santa hat and doing a little jig by the tree was Dan. Megan shook her head. What a nerve he had to defame the good name of Santa Claus by wearing that hat. She looked over at her husband. Nathan was scowling, apparently thinking the same thing.

_Then I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus,_

_Underneath his beard so snowy white,_

_Oh what a laugh it would have been, _

_If Daddy had only seen_

_Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night._

"That was a hit, gang!" Mae clapped her hands. "I say we take our act on the road."

Megan sighed. Please God, just let it be over soon.

"Look!" Jules pointed. "It's snowing. Looks like we're gonna have a white Christmas after all."

They all looked outside. The flakes were really coming down, starting to coat the yard and pavement.

"I know", Mae thought. "Let's sing It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas. That's one of my favorites.

Just great, Meg thought. She adored her husband's grandmother but enough was enough already.

"Boy, where are you going in this weather?" Royal asked out loud as he saw Nathan slipping into his coat.

"I…I just have some stuff to do."

"What stuff? It's Christmas. Your family is here. Your wife is here. And the roads are starting to get slick. What on earth could you have to do that's so important?"

Nathan sighed and shrugged.

"It just is. Look, I'll be back."

He nodded at Megan and walked out the door before his grandfather could further protest or God forbid his father join in. There were whispered murmurs but Mae began to play the notes and the caroling began again. Megan and Deb exchanged worried glances.

_It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,_

_Everywhere you go,_

_Take a look in the five and ten,_

_Glistening once again,_

_With candy canes and silver lanes aglow_

Megan turned her attention the falling snow. She took a deep breath. Yeah, so much for a Merry Christmas, she thought as she rubbed her belly. Her sad blue eyes never left the window as she followed the tail lights until they disappeared down the long, winding, paved drive.


	114. Silent Night

**_Author's Note: Hey Heather, I caught those similarities as well. Mark Schwahn, can I get some royalties, baby? LOL! Just kidding. No matter what or which direction the show goes in, he is the original Almighty King and I bow in his presence for bringing us such a wonderful show with such wonderful characters even if I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to the whole OTH Naley drama!_**

**_Kristy-Better late than never! Thanks for the review. It made me feel good. You guys gas me up too much but I appreciate sincerely such detailed and eloquent feedback. So glad you enjoy what I'm trying to do..._**

**_Eternal Dragon-You KNOW better than to DARE ask for a spoiler but I give you an A+ for trying, babe. LOL! Thanks for always reading and reviewing. Just hang in there with me and enjoy the ride. Don't worry about how it ends, let's just enjoy the journey getting there. You rock for always supporting me but be patient, my little dragon, lol..._**

"Broody, hurry up! We are so gonna miss this flight!"

Lucas tried to keep up the beautiful, whirling dervish that was his girlfriend but it was impossible. And who the hell could walk that fast in heels?

"Slow down. Geez, babe, we're not running a marathon here."

"You're pathetic, Scott. Just wait until I tell Iverson and the other guys that you let a girl out walk you. You should be ashamed. Stamina, Broody, stamina…"

"I have stamina when it counts", he wrinkled his eyebrows.

She stopped and grinned, shrugging.

"Okay, you're right. I'll definitely give you that one but you better get the maple syrup out of your ass if you want to get this flight."

They were in Chicago racing through O'Hare airport on Christmas Eve of all days, trying to get their plane out to Charlotte. The whole family was eagerly awaiting their presence. It would just be two nights and a better offer would have been to be with Karen and Andy in Tree Hill but as a last minute surprise, he had whisked her away to New Zealand. So Broody and Cheery were stuck with the Scott's and the Powell's. Philadelphia had played against the Bulls the night before and Brooke had joined him in Illinois so they could make the trek to North Carolina together.

"Brooke, this sucks. Do you know how much extra it costs me every time we have to fly to pay for your extra luggage?"

"It's not like we can't afford it. Besides, it's just the essentials."

"The essentials, huh?" he asked skeptically.

"Everything I need are in those bags and where else was I going to stash all the presents?"

He rolled his eyes, pushing two carts as she maneuvered one.

"What am I gonna do with you?" he sighed.

"Oh stop it, Lucas Scrooge. It's Christmas. Can't you feel the love and the spirit in the air?"

Lucas looked up.

"Uh…no."

Brooke sighed.

"Okay. Why so glum, my chum?"

He took a deep breath.

"Would it sound really bad and selfish and mean of me if I told you I really don't want to get on that plane?"

Her smile faded as it was plain to see he was clearly serious.

"You're not joking, are you?"

"No, Brooke."

She nodded.

"Know what I would say? I wouldn't say that I blame you. Christmas with your father and grandfather…cruel and unusual punishment in itself. The awkwardness, the melancholy mood, the arguments, the paparazzi, Nathan and Meg…"

"It's gonna be a…"

He couldn't quite find the words.

"Suck fest?"

Lucas smiled.

"That's one way of putting it, yes."

"Then let's not go."

"Brooke…"

"What? We don't have to."

"Yes, we do. Everybody is expecting us."

"Okay but what about what you want, Luke? Baby, I see it in your eyes. You don't look happy."

"It's not about me. It's about family and duty and…"

"Doing what's right. I know, I know."

"You know, it's not a completely bad thing, Brooke."

"It is when you look this miserable."

Lucas rubbed his tired eyes.

"It's what I have to do. It's what we have to do, Brooke. For him…"

She closed her eyes. She knew what it would come down to. At least Lucas admitted it.

"I know he's your brother and you love him. I love him, too, Luke. Nate has been through a lot and he's still going through it. But you can't protect him forever."

"I have to."

"No, you don't."

"I do. I owe it to him…and I owe it to Haley."

Brooke's eyes widened.

"You talked to her?"

"A while back. She was concerned. I'm just looking out for him because she can't…and because that's what big brothers do."

"Okay", she nodded.

"Just okay? No argument?"

"No. I know what you have to do and why you're doing. I respect that Lucas and more importantly, I respect you for it. I know it's not easy, babe. Look, we can go back to Philly, stay here in Chicago, go to Tree Hill or Charlotte. It won't make me a difference either way. As long as I'm with you, nothing else matters."

Lucas smiled. Oh how he loved that woman.

"You're the best", he kissed her.

"Don't I know it?" she smiled. "You know, I get that a lot and just to prove it to me, there better be a certain Louis Vuitton wallet in my stocking."

"I'll chat with Santa", he winked.

"Yeah? Well, you tell Santa, no wallet, no sex!"

Lucas smirked.

"Santa says enjoy your wallet and matching purse."

Brooke squealed.

"Thank you, thank you! I love you! You're the best boyfriend in the world, you know that?"

"Yeah, yeah. Now let's get moving and get this yacht load of suitcases on board."

"You better pull that hat down or else we'll be spending the whole day with you signing autographs."

They continued on their way, trying to find the check in so they could tag the bags and head for the right gate. The pair was almost there but time was running short. It wasn't a second to spare.

As Lucas ran, he thought about the scene in Charlotte. He thought about what was happening and how it would be when he and Brooke arrived. He thought about his father and grandfather. He thought about Megan. He thought about Haley.

God, it was too much! Why him? Why his life? Why his family? It was surreal and overwhelming and he didn't want to deal with it. He was sick and tired. His whole life he had been the good one and the responsible one. He had been there for his brother and whoever else needed him. Now he needed break.

Lucas stopped in the middle of the airport. He diverted the cart to a nearby bench and plopped down on it.

"Broody, what the hell are you doing?"

He didn't answer.

"Lucas!"

Still silence. Brooke waved her arm in front of him.

"Hello! Anybody in there? Earth to Luke Scott!"

"I can't", he whispered.

He looked dangerously pale as Brooke took a seat next to him.

"Can't what? Baby, are you alright? Talk to me. What's going on? You're scaring me."

"I just can't…"

"Luke!"

"Not this time", he shook his head. "It's too much. I don't want to let Nate down but I can't go back there, Brooke."

It pained him to say it but it was the truth. It was his truth.

"Licas…"

"What do we do?" he asked her.

She looked at the cart full of luggage and presents and the other passengers rushing to meet their flights. Then she looked at Lucas again. Finally she smiled.

"Come on."

"Brooke, what are we doing?"

"We're going back to the hotel. You are obviously exhausted. So we're gonna order room service and veg out in front of the TV. And we're gonna order really bad porn and make a lot of loving. And we're gonna get facials and massages and pedicures and…"

Lucas managed to smile.

"Babe, I am not getting a pedicure."

She held his hand.

"Okay. Then what do you want?"

He thought for a moment.

"Peace. Quiet. Silence. Time alone with you. Is that so bad?"

She shook her head.

"No, Broody. It certainly isn't."

He looked back at the direction of the gate one last time as if to give a final ponder as to what he would do.

"Brooke…"

"It's okay."

"I just don't want to be a selfish prick."

"You're not. You spend your whole life taking care of everyone else. Now let me take care of you."

Brooke extended her hand and after a few minutes, he finally took it. Walking out of that airport he thought would be the hardest thing. But it wasn't. It was just the opposite. And when they reached the blistery cold outdoors, he felt a new sense of warmth he hadn't felt in a long time. Relief.


	115. Do You See What I See?

"Ms. James, final sound check has been completed. You go in five."

"Thanks", she said.

Haley looked around. She was at the world famous Radio City Music Hall. Home of the infamous Rockettes, right in the heart of New York City. She had performed there countless amounts of time and the annual live Christmas Eve show was a big event. A few years before she had been thrilled when the executives at NBC had invited her to sing there. It had been fresh and new and nothing put her in the holiday mood more than singing her favorite Christmas Carols outside in the cold weather with the huge crowd and lights of the Big Apple in the background.

Now she wasn't so sure. Considering everything that had happened the last six or so months, the last thing Haley James wanted was to give a holiday concert to a sold out audience on live television. She craved obscurity more than ever but the powers that be at Maverick, as well as her own personal team of managers, agents, and publicists had insisted she accept the gig. After much pressure and even more reluctance, she had finally agreed.

Haley took one last look in the mirror. She had to admit they had done an excellent job with her makeup. It perfectly matched her stylish but casual black maternity dress, dark green overcoat and boots. She could hear Jessica Simpson finishing up her set and she knew it was time for her. A stagehand ushered her in front and she waited for Katie Couric to announce her presence.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this next musician truly needs no introduction but she's one of my favorites so I'll have to give her one anyway. The Grammys, Billboard, and American Music Awards speak for themselves. The platinum albums and the chart topping singles have defined what has been a brilliant career. So without further ado, here to perform her a capella version of Oh Holy Night, please give a warm welcome to Maverick recording artist, Haley James!"

The fans cheered loudly as she stepped onto the stage. She had been nervous and hesitant all night and even though the weather was cold and snowy, all of a sudden she didn't feel a thing except good.

_Oh Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining,_

_It is the night of the dear Savior's birth,_

_Long lay the world in sin and error pining,_

_Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth,_

_A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,_

_For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn,_

_Fall on your knees,_

_Oh hear the angel's voices,_

_Oh night divine,_

_Oh night when Christ was born_

She sang from the bottom of her heart. The soulful tunes reverberated from somewhere deep inside as the people watched her in awe. When she was done, she received a five minute ovation and a call for an encore, which she gave them in the form of her rendition of Silver Bells.

"Thank you", she smiled. "Thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure to be here with you all tonight. You know, Christmas has always been my favorite part of the year. It has such special meaning for me and for my family and my friends and for my fans. So once again, thank you, thank you, thank you. And Merry Christmas, New York and everyone watching around the world. Happy Holidays and Good night from Radio City Music Hall."

When it was over, she breathed a sigh of relief and headed to the back where a mug of steaming cocoa was waiting for her. She blew on it before taking a huge gulp.

"We have word your driver will be arriving shortly, Ms. James. We have arranged for private pick up in the rear entrance as to avoid the press."

"Thanks", she nodded.

Sure enough, her car was brought around within minutes and they began the journey out of the city.

"Wait", she asked him to pull over to a nice building in Tribecca.

Haley jumped out of the car and went inside, riding the elevator to the designated floor and finding the door she was looking for. She knocked softly and finally there was an answer.

"Hey", he said.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here, Haley?"

"I just finished the Radio City Music Hall performance…"

"I know. I saw", he stated, still not inviting her in.

"Look, Chris I know you're still upset with me from last time but it's been almost two months. I may have been a little harsh and I apologize for that. I haven't been the easiest person to get along with this year and if you never want to talk to me again, I understand, but it's been hard not having my best friend in my life. I miss you and I just wanted you to know that. So Merry Christmas, Chris."

She kissed his cheek before turning to leave.

"Haley, wait…"

"Yeah?"

Chris sighed.

"You want to come in and hang out?"

"I can't. Sorry. I'm on my way to Stratton Mountain in Vermont. I rented a house there for the holidays and my family are waiting on me."

"Oh", he said, a little disappointed. "Okay. Well, I guess I'll see you around when you get back. I'm doing the whole Times Square thing for New Year's and after that, I'm gonna be in London for a week. I'll call you."

A smile crept to Haley's lips.

"Or you could come to Vermont with me right now…"

"Thanks for the offer, James, but I can't."

"And why not?" she folded her arms. "Like you have so many other more appealing options."

"Haley…"

"It's not like you have plans. Were you gonna go back to Tree Hill?"

"Hell no", he laughed.

"Right. You were just gonna sit here all by yourself with no stocking or presents or special holiday meal."

"So?"

"So come with me."

"It's your family", Chris sighed. "I don't want to intrude."

"You won't. You know Taylor and Quinn and Vivian are going to be there as well as my brothers, Tristan and Austin. Of course their husbands and wives and all my little nieces and nephews and Mom and Dad."

"It sounds like a family thing…"

"You are my family", she said softly.

He just looked at her and smiled.

"Alright. Let me grab a jacket and a bag and my guitar."

"What do you need with your guitar?"

"You know better than to ask that", he smirked. "A true musician never leaves home without it."

She nodded and smiled. He was right and to prove it was her trusted guitar waiting downstairs in the car.

It didn't take him long to get ready and soon they were on their way for the 254 mile ride to the rented cottage. They talked like they always had, mostly about the music. And as the road trip lingered on, she fell asleep, her head leaning on his shoulder. He smiled to himself as he held her, belly and all. It felt good to have her in his arms and soon they had arrived at their destination.

The whole crew was there, eagerly awaiting Haley. Her oldest sibling, a brother, Tristan with his wife Jennifer and their two daughters, Alicia and Emma. Austin and his wife, Natalie, with their children Connor and Morgan. Quinn and her husband, Jack, and Vivian with her husband Ryan and newborn, Noah. A beaming Lydia and Jim were in the center of the commotion.

Any gathering of the entire James' clan was always a somewhat whacky sight to behold but no matter how hectic it was, Haley had always cherished those months. It was the family she was born with and the one she loved.

"Aunt Haley?" little Alicia asked.

"Yes, my love?" Haley smiled at the little girl.

"I forgot to leave a note for Santa back home to tell him we were coming here. Do you think he'll be able to find us?"

Haley wrapped her arms around her niece.

"Yes, Alicia", she nodded. "I know Santa will be able to find you here. He knows where you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been good or bad so you better be good for goodness sake."

Alicia gave her a snaggle toothed grin.

"I've been a good girl. Honest. Ask my mommy and daddy."

"Well, I'll take your word for it. But we have to go to bed early or else Santa won't come, okay? Go put your pajamas on and I'll be up in a minute to read you a story and tuck you in."

"Yea!" Alicia shouted. "Will you read us a story about princesses and dragons?"

"Okay", Haley grinned.

"And will you sing us a song?"

Haley looked at the innocent, beautiful child with the wide eyes and broad smile.

"Of course, honey."

Giggling, Alicia joined her sister and cousins in the children's rooms. A few feet away, unknown to her was Chris. He sat quietly watching her. Still wearing her concert outfit and sitting by the gorgeously decorated Christmas tree, a beautiful glow had been cast upon her. She looked so stunning at that moment and the best thing was, she wasn't even aware of her attractiveness. But more than a pretty face, he had seen something else that evening. All her fears, sadness and anxiety had not been warranted. Just watching her with her niece was incredible. There was even something to be said about her interaction with the younger fans. Children adored her and she was amazing with them.

Chris smiled. It was all going to be okay. There was no doubt in his mind, when all was said and done, Haley James would make a wonderful mother.


	116. Here Comes Santa Claus

_**Author's Note: Cathy-got your notes in the review. Thanks for clearing that up. But no matter what name you review under, you've always submitted detailed, articulate, eloquent, enthusiastic, and often humorous feedback, which I love. So keep it coming girl, and thanks for your support!**_

_We wish you a Merry Christmas,_

_We wish you a Merry Christmas,_

_We wish you a Merrry Christmas,_

_And a Happy New Year_

_Good tidings to you,_

_And all of your kin,_

_Good tidings for Christmas,_

_And a Happy New Year_

Michael Sanchez looked up and smiled. In the doorway serenading him was his wife, Clara, and their two children, 5 year old Paul and 4 year old, Stella. It was Christmas Eve and he was still in the hospital, still in pain from his accident, and still not able to work to afford gifts for his family. But they had each other.

"Hi, Daddy", they chimed.

"Hey. You guys get over here. Give your Daddy a hug."

The approached him carefully before jumping on the bed. He winced, as his tired body ached all over but seeing their little faces and having tiny arms wrapped around him made it all the more better.

"Daddy, what's this for?" little Paul asked, pointing to the IV in his father's right arm.

"Bud, it has medicine in it and it helps me feel better."

"Does it hurt?"

Michael managed to smile.

"No, buddy. It doesn't hurt at all."

"When are you coming home?" Stella asked.

"Soon, Ladybug", he sighed. "Hopefully real soon. You know, I miss you guys a whole bunch."

"And we miss you, too", Clara bent down and kissed her husband's forehead. "But it's Christmas Eve and we wanted to come be with you."

He smiled sadly. Of course he was glad they had come but in a lot of ways he hated his family seeing him so hurt and vulnerable. And he hated looking into the beautiful, innocent, brown eyes of his beloved babies, knowing he couldn't provide them with the Christmas, they and every other child, so deserved.

"Daddy, did you know tonight is the night when Santa comes?" Stella informed him happily.

Mike hung his head.

"Yeah…about that…"

"We have to go to bed early cause Santa won't come if you're awake, right, Mommy?"

Clara nodded her head and sighed.

"That's right, baby."

"Come here, guys", Mike said, pulling the children in close. "I want to tell you a story about why Christmas is so special, okay? Tomorrow is the day Jesus was born. It's his birthday. Remember all the stuff they taught you about Jesus in Sunday School and what he did for us?"

"Yeah", they nodded.

"Jesus was a good man and he stood for a lot of good things so that's why we celebrate tomorrow. The true meaning of Christmas is love and family. We might not have a lot of toys or presents but we have each other, right?"

It broke his heart to disappoint them.

"It's okay, Daddy", little Paul said. "We won't be mad if Santa doesn't come by this year."

He felt hot tears stinging his eyes as he thought of the list Paul and Stella had scribbled down together. Stuffed animals, train sets, race cars, puzzles, coloring books and dolls. All the many things kids their age wanted to have.

"But Santa will come…won't he?" Stella looked up at her parents.

They were at a loss for words. It was tough news for any child to comprehend but Paul, just a kindergartener, seemed to understand more than his sister. But how could the parents expect for ones so young to grasp onto something so unfair and so grown up.

"Honey, he…" Clara began.

"There is a Santa Claus and he will come see us tonight, right, Mommy? Me and Paul was real, real good."

Mike and Clara opened their mouths but no words came out. They couldn't even force them and their hearts were breaking.

"Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!" came a hearty laugh from the door.

The visitor was unmistakable. Black boots, big belly, red suit, long white and fluffy beard, glasses…hat. It was none other than good old Saint Nick himself.

"Santa!" the children yelled with glee.

He took a seat on a nearby chair, putting down one of two sacks overloaded with toys. The kids jumped from the bed and climbed onto his lap.

"Special delivery for Paul and Stella!"

"Wow!" Paul exclaimed. "Santa, how did you find us here?"

"Santa knows everything", he said in a loud, jolly voice.

"Are all these for us?"

"Were you a good little girl this year, Stella?"

"Yes!"

Santa pushed one bag towards the children. They began rummaging through it. The train set, stuffed animals, dolls, race cars, games, puzzles, coloring books, and action figures. It was heaven for two small children.

"Thank you, Santa!" they shouted.

"You're welcome but Santa has to go. I have to take this other bag and deliver toys to the all the sick little boys and girls in the hospital."

"Bye, Santa!" Paul and Stella waved.

As Santa turned to exit the room, he caught the eye of the ailing man in the bed. He smiled as tears of joy streamed down the face of Michael Sanchez. The man was speechless. And seeing his little ones so happy was more than enough of a present for him.

"Thank you", Michael mouthed.

Santa just winked as he left and closed the door behind him. A few seconds later it opened again and Clara was hot on his heels. He turned and found himself face to face with the short, dark haired woman.

"Mrs. Sanchez…"

She put a finger to his lips to shush him before wrapping her arms around him. The hug was short and sweet and he could see the sincerity and gratefulness in her tear filled eyes.

"Thank you" she whispered.

He nodded.

"You're welcome."

"Merry Christmas and…God bless you, Santa."

He felt his own tears coming but he held them back. After all, Santa Claus didn't cry. And he had other toys to deliver all over before getting back to his waiting reindeer.

News of Santa's presence in the hospital spread rather quickly. And just as promised, every girl and boy hospitalized received a brand new toy on Christmas Eve. After all the hugs and joy and the huge smiles that made it all worthwhile, it was time for Santa to go. The reindeer were supposed to be waiting on the roof to take him back to the North Pole to Mrs. Claus and all the elves.

But it was a minute after midnight and the fairytale was over. Just like in the Cinderella story, the coach of reindeer turned into a black, Chevrolet Tahoe SUV. And it turns out the North Pole was just a few miles up the street in a private community on a hefty piece of gated property. And the elves had names like Dan and Deb and Royal and Mae and Keith and Jules. And Mrs. Claus' first name was Megan.

Yea the fairytale had ended but "Santa" had nothing to feel bad about. He had done his good deed. He had brought smiles to faces and joy to hearts. And that's the least he could do. He owed everyone that. One step at a time towards changing his life around.

He removed the itchy beard, hat and spectacles. He ran his finger through his dark hair and sighed. So what if his own Christmas wasn't going to be that merry? He felt good inside and that counted for something. Nathan Scott smiled as he removed the pillow from his Santa suit and like Clark Kent, changed back to his alter ego. It was time to return to the madness.


	117. Pandora's Box

It was December 31st and parties across the world were in full swing gearing up for the new year. The McCullough's, a young, successful couple not far from the Scott's Charlotte mansion had invited them to a party. In the past, the foursome had been known to be quite friendly. They had dined together on numerous occasions and it had only been fitting to accept the invitation. Megan at first had declined, stating the couple was busy but Nathan couldn't bear yet another night behind iron gates. And he was a bit superstitious. The old saying went, the way you began the new year was how it would be for the next 12 months and Nathan would be damned if sitting quietly in a cooped up house with his silent wife would determine the new year. So he had called the McCullough's back and RSVP'd to their party. It took a little convincing Megan but finally she had conceded, dressing up as pretty as a picture.

"Meg, let's go!" he yelled up the stairs for the umpteenth time.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Hold your horses, Nate."

He smiled.

"It's gonna be next year before we get there if you don't put a move on it."

"Beauty takes time, Mister", she joked. "I can't help it that you run on turbo speed."

"Well, you have only one speed and that's slow", he grinned.

Then his voice trailed off. That conversation took him way back many years ago. He was late for a party then and he had yelled into the bathroom for his wife to hurry up her pace. He joked with her then that she only had one speed and that was slow. But that had been a lifetime and one wife ago. It was when he and Haley were late for their own wedding reception.

Nathan jumped at the memory. It was like a powerful physical jolt of electricity flowing throughout his body. He lost his footing, grabbing onto a nearby table for support. Heart pounding, he opened the door to the closet.

"Nate, I'll be ready in a minute!" Meg yelled out.

"Huh? Yeah…um, take your time", he said, flustered.

His large hands shook as he pushed past all the junk on top of the safe deposit box. Then he saw it, picking it up and cradling it safely in his hands as he just stared at it.

"Okay, I am ready and hopefully gorgeous. Get my coat so we can wow the partygoers with our exceptional social skills…"

Her smile faded as she saw her handsome husband on his knees in his nice suit next to the open closet with clothes and things everywhere as he clutched the box for dear life.

"Meg…" he looked at her.

Her eyes widened. She wasn't stupid. She had seen his unnatural interest in that closet so many times. It peeked her curiosity but she hadn't let it get the best of her. She had prayed she had been imagining things but obviously it wasn't just her imagination.

"Nathan…what are you doing?"

"I…"

He couldn't answer her. He could barely look at her.

"Nathan!" her voice rose.

"Megan…"

She backed away shaking her head.

"No! What is that? What is going on? Huh? What the hell is in that damned box?"

"Nothing", he lied.

She laughed in spite of the situation. She could tell he was lying to her. It was written all over his guilty face.

"Nothing?"

"I said, nothing, okay?"

"Okay", she nodded. "Prove it."

"What?"

"Open it."

"Meg…"

"No. You heard me. It's nothing, right? Then it shouldn't be a big deal for you to open it right here, right now in front of me."

"Megan, I…

"What? We're married, remember, Nathan? We don't have any secrets…or do we?"

"Just stop it, alright?"

"No, Nathan, you stop it! I'm sick of this shit! I'm sick of you!"

"What do you want from me?"

"Happiness is a little late, don't you think? So how about the truth for once! I'll gladly take that."

"Don't do this."

"You're the one that's doing it, Nate! This is all you. Now I want some answers! I do want the truth and not you making little deals behind my back with our parents or you telling me whatever it is you think I want to hear so I'll calm down and shut up!"

He coolly put the safe deposit box back in its place.

"I'm not opening that."

"The hell you're not!"

"Look, let's just go."

"No. Not until you open it."

"Why do you want to know so bad anyway? It's private. You don't see me going through your personal things."

"Because I don't have anything to hide from you. I don't have an ex husband I'm still in love with."

Nathan felt his body tense.

"Shut up", he quietly warned.

"Why? What are you gonna do? You think I'm a fool, don't you? You certainly treat me like one. But I'm not as dumb or naïve as you think, Nathan Scott!"

"This is ridiculous. I'm not doing this with you right now. I'll be out waiting in the car for you. You don't join me in ten minutes, I'm leaving without you. If you want to spend New Year's Eve being pissed off over nothing, then that's your deal but I'm not gonna be a part of it. I'm sick of playing your games."

He turned to walk away. She was enraged.

"Your games? You selfish, arrogant son of a bitch! How dare you! I'm not the one playing games, I've just been an ignorant pawn in yours for way too long. Well, you know what? I'm sick of it."

"And I'm sick of you", he said.

"Really? Well, you can't be as sick of me as I am of you. That's the thing, just about everybody has had enough of you. You almost kill your poor mother, you ruin your career and you alienate me. If you were trying to drive me away, congratulations…mission accomplished! I'm out of here."

"That's your choice", he stated simply.

She shook her head.

"No wonder why people leave you. You deserve it. You make them. Your mother…Haley and now me."

Nathan's eyes bulged. He could not believe Megan had taken it there.

"That's it. Oh man, that's it, Meg. I'm not messing around anymore. I can't do this. Either you leave or I do because I'm done. Our marriage is over. You hear me. I'm through."

She walked up and grabbed the box pushing it against him.

"Open it!"

"You're crazy!"

"And you're an asshole!"

He backed away slowly making it clear he had no intention of opening the box. It only pissed her off more. Megan threw it on the ground and ran out past him to the garage. A minute later she returned with a mini sledgehammer in hand.

"Megan! What are you gonna do?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she swung it high above her head and let the blade come crashing down on the box. It made just a small crack but she was angry, determined and seriously hormonal. That made for a lethal combination that had her chipping away furiously at the box until finally the pieces were everywhere. She dug through the debris gasping as she saw the collection of Haley's CD's as well as dozens of pictures of her with Nathan. At the bottom was the colorful, plastic bracelet that she had thrown away and subsequently thrown Nathan into a tizzy. The evidence was all in front of her now. No more wondering or excuses. It was what it was.

"Damn you!" she screamed. "Goddamn you to hell, Nathan!"

"Megan!"

"What the hell is all this? A shrine to her? You sick bastard!"

"You shouldn't have done that", he breathed.

"No, you shouldn't have done that! Oh my God! Look at this shit! I don't believe it! I don't believe you! Are you still in love with her?"

"Megan…"

"No! Don't call my name! I asked you a question. You answer me, goddammitt! You owe me that much, you lying sack of shit! Do you love her?"

"Yeah…I do."

It was what she had suspected and known all along but hearing him saying it absolutely destroyed her. It was insult to injury, a proverbial slap in the face.

"I hate you!" she screamed, grabbing as many contents from the box as her arms could carry.

She made a beeline for the roaring fireplace but Nathan lunged and grabbed her before she could burn his precious memories.

"Don't!" he yelled. "Stop it! Meg, get a hold of yourself! What the hell are you doing?"

She dropped the load and began slapping, punching and scratching at his face, neck and chest. He grabbed her arms to restrain her until she calmed down. Finally they were face to face, flushed and out of breath.

"Did you sleep with her in the Dominican?" she asked.

It was a question that had been weighing in heavily on her mind for months. She had just never had the guts to ask it before.

Nathan just looked at the frazzled, angry, saddened, broken woman before him. Like his father had once done to his mother, it was what he had forced her into becoming. It was all his fault. He owed her a lot. The truth was the least he could do.

"Yes", he whispered.

A flood of tears escaped her icy blue eyes.

"Get out!"

"Meg…"

"You heard me! Now! With the clothes on your fucking back!"

"Megan, let me…"

"Let you what? Explain? Too late for that one! You have lied to me and manipulated me and misled me…I trusted you! I loved you! And you betrayed me, Nathan! How could you?"

"I…"

"Shut up! Don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me! You leave this house tonight and I never want to see your evil, twisted face ever again! You hear me?"

Now it was Nathan's turn to cry.

"Please…"

"Screw you!"

"I never meant to do this, Meg", he whispered. "I didn't want to be him. I didn't want to be my father."

She laughed as she wiped away tears.

"You're not. You're worse. Know why? Royal and Dan are rattlesnakes. Everyone knows that. And when they strike and inflict their poison, it's no surprise. People almost expect it. But you…when you strike, you don't make a sound. There is no warning rattle. And that's what makes you dangerous."

"Megan…"

"Now get out. Get out before I call every media member, reporter and photographer I can think of and tell them and show them the truth. And I'll do it too. I'll do whatever it takes to get you out of this house and out of my face and out of my life."

With his head hung low and tears flowing, all Nathan could do was simply comply with her wishes. He had hurt her and now it was time to reap what he had sewn. He left quietly and without further protest.

Megan watched him go. She watched his truck disappear out of the driveway. And only when he was gone could she let loose and break down like she wanted to. She looked up at the mantle of the fireplace and saw a beautiful smiling portrait the couple had taken on their wedding day. What a lie! What a farce! What a crock of shit! It made her blood boil. Giving one last agony filled scream, she picked up an expensive crystal vase and chucked it at the picture, causing it to fall. When it did, she threw the pieces into the blazing fire before melting onto the floor in a hysterical, sobbing heap.


	118. Fractured Soul, Bleeding Heart

"Brooke, I know you must be pissed. And I know you might not understand why I'm doing this but I have to. I know I can't fix this but he's my little brother and it's getting bad, babe. Maybe I can't do anything but I can be there for him. And he needs me now. He's hurting."

Brooke sighed, looking out the window as the interstate passed her by at 70 miles per hour. She had been quiet for most of the ride from Philadelphia. In fact, she had been speechless ever since Nathan had called them and told them the shocking, awful truth. As she and Lucas had rung in the New Year with an impromptu trip to Vegas, his brother and sister and law had split up amidst a nasty confrontation where secrets and lies had been revealed that would change all of their lives forever.

Nathan was stunned, finding sanctuary at Dan and Deb's beach house. It was a both a relief and a burden to have everything out in the open. The truth had set him free but he was still hurting. Megan was devastated and not speaking to him. Regardless of everything that had happened, a part of him still loved her very much and she was pregnant with his baby.

"Brooke, I can't stand you being so quiet. Baby, please. Talk to me. Say something. Anything", Lucas begged.

"Take me to Charlotte."

"What?"

Her voice had barely been above a whisper and he wanted to make sure he had heard her right.

"You heard me. This is something that was bound to happen, Luke. No matter how much we hoped and prayed and pretended everything was perfect, we knew eventually Nathan would crack and Megan would find out. I know he's your brother and you love him. You should be there for him. But Megan's hurting, too. Granted she's been annoying and psychotic and somewhat of an idiot during all this but she's still a human being. And she loves Nathan. She's pregnant and who else is she going to turn to right now? Her crazy ass parents? She has no one…so she should have me."

"Brooke…"

"We're the sacrificial lambs, Broody. It's just part of the job. You comfort him and I'll try to be there for her."

Lucas didn't speak as he diverted their vehicle towards a pit stop in Charlotte. There were no words. Instead he just squeezed her hand. Those moments were the ones when he really loved Brooke Davis the most. What a remarkable he had been blessed with.

A few hours later, they found themselves in front of the house. It was the somehow but somehow it just looked different. There seemed to be an imaginary black cloud looming over it, casting a dark and painful shadow. Brooke was almost afraid to go inside.

"You'll be okay?" Lucas asked in a worried tone.

"I'm fine", she managed to smile. "I'll call you, okay?"

He nodded.

"Love you."

"Love you, too", she kissed him as she got out.

She used the spare key Nathan had given Lucas when he first moved there. The house was quiet and dreary. It was also in shambles. Brooke was surprised, considering the neurotic housekeeper Megan was known for being. The remnants of the argument from a few days before were still shattered all over the plush carpet. Brooke walked over to the fireplace. In the ashes, she saw what was left of Megan and Nathan's wedding photo. Just like the marriage, the picture had gone up in smoke.

"What are you doing here?"

Brooke jumped. It was like a bad horror movie. Then the figure emerged from the shadows to reveal a disheveled Megan.

"Meg…hi, um, oh my God. I…"

"What? Sorry if I don't exactly look like Miss America right now."

"No. No, you're fine. I was just worried. I wanted to see if you were okay."

Megan smiled bitterly.

"What's your verdict?"

Brooke's heart went out to her. Any ill feelings or lingering animosity had long ago disappeared. Walking straight towards the shaking, pregnant blonde, Brooke wrapped her arms around her.

"I'm sorry, Meg."

Megan hugged her back, letting her sad and tired blue eyes squeeze out all the pain.

"Yeah…me, too."

The two women sat down.

"You want to talk about it?"

"What is there to say?" Megan shrugged, wiping at her nose. "I've been a fool and you all know that. I wouldn't let myself see what was really there. I was too busy protecting my own heart."

"What happened?"

"I found his box."

"What box?"

"The one he kept hidden in that closet over there. It had Haley's CD's and pictures and that damned Cracker Jack bracelet."

"Oh my God…"

"Yeah. As you can see, what's left of it is all over the floor."

Brooke chuckled.

"What did you do, break it open with a sledgehammer?"

"Yeah", Megan shrugged matter of factly pointing to the weapon, which lay exactly where she had dropped it.

"Damn", Brooke made a face. "You were waiting to exhale, huh? Talk about your cathartic moments."

"I caught him with it and I asked him to open it and he refused. So I opened it for him and that's what I found. I asked him if he still loved her and he said yes. I asked him if he had sex with her in Santa Domingo."

"What did he say?"

"He admitted it."

"Oh my God. Meg, I don't know what to say. I…I am so sorry."

"I know. You're sorry, I'm sorry…so is Lucas and even Nate but uh, the funny thing is, sorry is just a word. It doesn't make it any better."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea. You know, Brooke, I've always been in control. Or at least I like to think I was. I always had a plan. This perfect, happy time lined little vision of what my life was supposed to be like. Everything was all mapped out and I knew exactly what I was doing and where I was going. But I don't have that anymore. It's all gone. My path is bumpy and uncertain and I don't see a light at the end of my tunnel."

"You gonna divorce him?"

"I don't see any other way. It'll put us both out of our misery."

"Meg…"

"This is all my fault."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is. God, I was so stupid. I should have known. I guess I did know. I was just seeing what my heart wanted to. I never should have married him. He loves her. That's just the way it is. He will always love her."

"In his own way, he does love you."

"Not the way he loves Haley. And that's not good enough anymore. I want more, Brooke. Is that so wrong?"

The brunette shook her head.

"No, it's not."

Meg looked away.

"I can't believe this happened to me…to us."

"Have you talked to him?"

"No. I can't. I don't want to. I'm just not ready yet. I'm still trying to deal with it. I'm just so damned angry and it hurts too. I'm mad at him and at Haley…and mostly at myself. People do to you what you allow them to and I let Nathan and Dan and Royal and my parents get away with murder."

"You have to start thinking of yourself now. Take care of you, Megan."

"I know. You're exactly right. I mean, who else is gonna? I had to learn that lesson the hard way. Take a long look, Brookie. This is what happens when you give a man everything and lose yourself loving someone else. I gave Nathan everything I thought he needed so he would give me what I needed. It doesn't work that way, does it?"

"No, I guess it doesn't but you're gonna get through this…somehow. It might not seem like it but you will. You both will. All of us will."

"I guess I just need more time to think and rest before I figure out how I'm gonna handle it all."

"Okay. Why don't you go upstairs and lie down? I'll make tea for you and try to clean this disaster up."

Megan smiled for the first time.

"Brooke Davis making tea? Cleaning?"

Brooke smirked and shrugged.

"I have no idea how to go about doing any of thee above but leave that to me. I'll take care of everything. I just want you to try to relax."

"Thanks."

"Let me help you upstairs."

Megan stood and Brooke guided her. Midway, Megan buckled and grabbed the railing for support.

"Damn!"

"Meg, you okay?"

"I…I'm fine."

They continued walking but she doubled over and gasped.

"Megan, what the hell is going on?"

Meg whimpered.

"Ouch! It hurts…"

"Where?"

"Here", she pointed to her stomach, "and here", she pointed at her heart.

Brooke closed her eyes.

"Should I call someone?"

Meg didn't answer. Instead, she dropped to the ground.

"Oh God!"

"Meg! Megan, talk to me!"

"Brooke, something is wrong!"

Brooke was in sheer panic.

"Don't do this to me, Megan! Please…"

"Something is wrong with the baby. My stomach. I'm hurting. I…I've been having contractions all day."

"Contractions? Meg, you're almost seven months pregnant. It's not time. You can't be having this baby yet."

"Help me", Megan cried.

Brooke took a deep breath. She found a coat and some shoes and helped Megan slip them on.

"It's okay, Diva. I've got you. You're gonna be fine. I'm gonna get you to the hospital."

Megan began to wail.

"Why, Brooke? Why me? Why did this have to happen to me? I just wanted to be with Nathan and have my baby."

Brooke held her tight.

"You're gonna be fine. You're not having this baby today. Everything is fine."

She was trying to convince Megan of that…and herself.


	119. The Bittersweet Truth Shall Set You Free

**_Author's Note: As always, loved the reviews, especially the ones after a "weekend cliffhanger", lol. You guys are too funny!_**

**_Oh and Cathy...what can I say? You are the best! I swear if you live in the DC/Northern VA area, look me up because I KNOW we would have fun hanging out, lol..._**

Haley sighed, staring at the pink stationary with pages and pages of her trademark, neat, cursive penmanship scrawled on it. The words had been in her heart for months, some of them even years but she'd never created the time to write them down. Partially because she hadn't had the guts to do so. But it was time. So she had spent literally the entire day trying to figure out how to express herself in the most articulate, eloquent, yet still brutally honest way possible. The letter would speak for her, say things her mouth couldn't.

_Dear Nathan,_

_It's come to this. There are so many things I need to say to you that should have long ago been said. I guess I never had the time or the courage but now I have no choice. Because I can't keep silent anymore. For so long I have held my tongue and tried to keep my distance on the pretenses of protection. Protecting my heart, protecting you, trying to do what's best for everyone involved. Finally, I figured out there is no "best". Life is what it is, what we choose to make of it and over the years it seems we made a real mess of things whether we meant to or not._

_You may not believe it, you may not want to hear it but you must know that despite everything that has happened, I still love you. That's the one thing I wanted you to know when I foolishly and selfishly invited myself to your wedding. I just felt I had to let you know, maybe in hopes that you felt the same way…and even if you didn't, at least you would know the truth of how I felt. _

_You are my one true love, my only love. I am a firm believer in that we don't get to choose who we love, rather love chooses us. It's fate or destiny or kismet or whatever you want to call it. If we did have a choice, I don't know if we ever would have loved each other. Love only complicated your plans to mess with Lucas and love complicated my loyalty to him. But we found each other anyway and also a love that was beautiful and powerful and true enough to conquer anything. Is that still the naïve little Tutor Girl in me just wishing upon a star? Or is that true?_

_As much as it hurts or sucks and I don't understand why, I can be mature enough to be at peace with the fact that possibly our ship has sailed us by. I can deal with that. What I can't handle is you hurting and falling apart. I still care and from a distance I am watching you and this desperate, downward spiral just breaks my heart. Maybe I have no right to even mention it or even care but I can't help it. I also can't help but think that some of, or dare I say all of this is my fault. That kills me to know that I am even somewhat responsible for this pain you're feeling. I wish to God there was something I could do or say to make this all better but I know I can't._

_Sometimes I pretend that life was like it used to be back when we were married and together and happy and in love. I was searching for something more, so blind to the fact that I had all I ever really wanted or needed in front of me in the form of you and our marriage. I made a mistake, Nathan and I'm sorry. I guess we all mess up from time to time but my error in judgment was colossal. It's funny how one decision I made as a teenager was able to dictate and affect the rest of our lives and so many around us. I know our time is up and I can't be there with you now but if I close my eyes, sometimes we meet again in my dreams. That's enough for me for now. Having you that way, I suppose beats not having you at all._

_Our time together in Santa Domingo was bittersweet, to say the least. I hated the reason we were there but it was for the best perhaps. It was our tickets to finally move on without each other. But as far as I'm concerned, two unspeakable tragedies happened there. The devastating tsunami, of course, and the fact that you and I lost each other. I know the physical stuff that happened between us was wrong but we couldn't help it because it felt so right. I will never regret those last moments of passion. Even in the darkest hours when I thought death was just a heartbeat away, you were there for me. If it was meant for me to die, then at least we would die in the same breath. Totally morbid but in the same way romantic in a Romeo and Juliet sort of deal. But that's beside the point. I'm nervous so I'm rambling. You know how I get…yeah, I guess that's the thing. You know everything about me. We have always had that uncanny ability to bond with each other and just be in sync. I felt it from the day we first met to our wedding day and every day that has followed…even now._

_And if I don't say it, or if I never did, then I thank you for saving my life. That night when the water was everywhere and people were dying all around us and I was so scared and drowning, it was your arm that pulled me to safety. You took care of me, you saved me, you protected me…just like you always said you would. You were there for me until the end, especially when it counted most. My God, how do you thank someone for saving your life? There are no words to tell you how forever grateful I am. And they haven't even invented words yet to describe how much I love you._

_With that being said, there is still more. There is something that you should know. I should have told you face to face so long ago but I'm a coward. I didn't know how to say it or how you would react but it's an important truth, probably the most honest part of our lives. I know in the Dominican Republic we gave in to desperation and sheer passion but it isn't over. It will never be over because something happened. Nathan, the baby I am carrying inside me is not Chris Keller's. I told you I was never intimate with him and that is the truth. He has just been trying to be a good friend and protect me from the relentless terror that we know as the paparazzi. No, the baby inside me is the result of whatever happened between us this summer. You're the father._

_I ask that you please not hate me but if you do, I can't say that I blame you. Just don't resent this child. He or she didn't ask to be born, especially into all this unstable, messy, drama that is our lives. I know I was wrong not to be honest sooner but I was trying to do the right thing, whatever that is. I didn't want to turn you into "Dan" and have you have to make that impossible lose lose choice your father was faced with years and years ago. But this your child and you have the right to know that and love it and be there for it…and be more of a father than I'm sure I will be a mother._

_This is me pouring out my heart to you. No lies, no excuses, no frills. I beg you to understand. Whatever choice you make, I will try to live with it. Please forgive me for disrupting your life. I don't want to hurt Megan or your other child. I am sincerely sorry it came to this. I just hope we can be okay. Somehow we can get through this and avoid the mistakes of the past to ensure a peaceful future. Nathan I couldn't rest another second until you read these words. Now you have and I can breathe again knowing the ball is in your court. I know this is a lot and it's going to take time. You obviously have a lot to think about. Just know that I am sorry and I do love you…forever and always._

_Hales_

She carefully folded the papers together and placed them in her scented, pink envelope. To ensure privacy and the fact that he would receive it, she planned to have it couried to North Carolina. She had done her part and told the truth. The rest was up to him.

"Haley bub!"

Haley jumped as she heard Taylor screeching.

"What's up, sis?" she sighed.

"Nothing, it's just that I haven't seen you all day. Where have you been? What have you been up to? Why so quiet?"

Taylor gleefully plopped down on Haley's bed.

"You're in a good mood."

"I'm alive and it's beautiful outside."

"It's cloudy and dark and cold as the dickens."

"Yeah? And how would you know when you haven't even left your hole to take a look outside?"

"I've been busy", Haley informed her.

"Doing what?"

"Just stuff…something I should have done a long time ago."

Haley felt the envelope through the fuzzy material as she took a deep breath.

"Well, I'm off. There is this rad can't miss party in the Village tonight."

Haley smiled faintly.

"Wow, I remember a time when I was at all the can't miss parties in the Village and on the Upper East Side."

"Those days aren't gone, you know?"

"Yes, they are", she nodded at her sister.

Taylor ruffled her hair.

"Then I will have enough fun for the both of us. Can I borrow your diamond stud earrings?"

"The real ones from Tiffany's that cost like ten grand and were a gift from my manager to celebrate my first gold record?"

Taylor grinned.

"Uh, yeah. Those would be the ones. Now can I wear them? And you know they look cuter on me anyway."

"Sure. Why not? They were made for big ears anyway."

Taylor pretended to be hurt as she threw a pillow at her younger sister. Haley smiled, retrieving the studs from a velvet jewelry box.

"Thanks, Hay", Taylor put them on.

"Just be careful."

"I will", she rolled her eyes. "I will guard these babies with my life."

Haley shook her head.

"No, Tay, not that. I mean, just…just be careful, alright? With everything. Okay?"

Taylor nodded and smiled. Despite the sibling rivalry, the two honestly loved each other. Taylor knew Haley had been having a rough time lately.

"I love you, Haley bub."

Haley buried her face into Taylor's shoulder.

"Yeah. I love you, too."


	120. What Happens Next

Lucas arrived to a seemingly empty house. It could have been worse, he supposed. An irate Dan could have been lurking in the shadows but either way, there was no sign of Nathan. Cursing, Lucas continued looking around, calling out his younger brother's name. A cold chill met him in the living room whose back door opened to the beach. The January weather made him shudder and sure enough, sitting outside without a hint of a jacket was Nathan.

"Dude, you're gonna catch pneumonia."

Nathan smirked.

"That's the least of my problems."

He was still wearing dress pants and shoes, his white shirt unbuttoned and tie loosened.

"You okay?"

Nathan shook his head.

"No."

"Stupid question, I guess. Sorry, dude."

"It's okay. I just feel bad for bugging you. I know Brooke must be pissed and you have your own life and stuff with basketball…"

"Man, don't worry about all that. I'm glad you called. You need me and I'm here, just like if the situation was reversed, I know you'd have my back."

"True but we both know it would never come to that because you'd never make a mess out of your life like I have."

Lucas sighed.

"I'm not perfect, you know? None of us are. And no one's blaming you, bro. This is just a fucked up situation that just got worse over time somehow. If you need help, there's no shame in asking. I can't imagine how bad this is for you and I won't even pretend to. But I'm your brother and I'm here for you no matter what. And for the record, Brooke isn't mad. She understands. Actually, she's with Megan now."

"What?"

"It was her idea. She felt bad. I know Megan must be going through a lot, too and Brooke figured she had no one else to turn to so she asked me to drop her off in Charlotte."

Nathan nodded.

"That's nice of her. I…I hope she's okay. I tried to call but I'm the last person she wants to hear from. Maybe I should have figured that one out when she got all sledgehammer happy on me."

"You really kept all that stuff over the years?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Nathan shrugged.

"I don't know. I couldn't exactly throw it away. I probably should have and I tried to a few times but some stuff…you just can't get rid of."

"I know, man", Lucas sighed. "I know. So what now?"

"Who knows?"

"You guys getting a divorce?"

"Probably. It's inevitable, dude. Honestly, I can't see it any other way."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Like shit. If you'd asked me that a couple of months ago, I would have been relieved but now…I can't explain it. Everything is so messed up. I have no idea how we got this way, how it got so bad. Looking back, it was a mistake to marry her, Megan, I mean."

"But you did."

"I know. Because I thought it was the right thing to do. I thought it was best for everyone. Look how that turned out…"

"Who could have known, man? But if you still love her…"

"I don't know, Luke. I don't know what I want or what I'm gonna do. I don't even know how to feel anymore. This is crazy. You should have seen her. Man, I have never seen someone that mad before. It was insane. And she had every right to feel that way. Who could blame her?"

"Only time will tell, I guess. I don't know, maybe this is what you needed. Not in the form of all the drama but a little time away never hurt anyone. You and Meg will be separated and you have some time off from the game. It'll give you a chance to put some stuff into perspective."

"I guess. I just don't want to deal with it. But you have to."

"I know. I feel bad for hurting her. I really do. You know Meg is a good person. What did she ever do wrong, besides love me? It's not fair. She never deserved any of this."

"You're right."

"She hates me right now and she has every right to. In time, whatever happens between us, I hope she gets past that but I…I just don't want it to stop me from being able to see my kid."

"It won't", Lucas reassured him. "Meg isn't like that. Yeah she's angry and she's hurt but she'd never hold the baby over your head. She knows you're going to be a great dad."

"Let's hope so because I sure fucked the 'good husband' thing up…twice."

"Don't beat yourself up. It won't change anything. You can't look back. You have to go on. First of all, you need to get yourself together. Then you need to be there for your child. And you have to figure out a way to make amends with Meg, whether you guys divorce or not. Then the Haley thing…"

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"What does she have to do with this?"

Lucas laughed in spite of the situation.

"Are you on crack, Nate? Everything! Haley has everything to do with this."

"What am I supposed to say? Huh? Lucas, what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know. You could talk to her…"

"I don't think Chris Keller would appreciate that."

"What does he have to do with anything?"

Now it was Nathan's turn to laugh.

"They are playing house…"

"That's just what the papers say."

"I don't see her denying it. Besides, Haley might be the cause of everything but I can't deal with her just yet. I've got so much other bullshit to take care of before I even begin to think about her. And she's got her own stuff going on with her life and her music…and her baby. I need to handle my own things with Megan but I'm man enough to not go stepping in on someone else's territory. That's the difference between me and that skinny punk bitch, Keller…respect. Haley can't fix this, Luke. No one can."

"You can", he said quietly.

Nathan looked at his brother.

"How? What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"For now? I know it's lame and easier said than done but you can rest and relax. Give this a few more days to blow over. And when the time is right, you need to talk to your wife and figure out where you go from here."

"You're right", Nathan rubbed his tired eyes just as Luke's cell phone rang loudly.

Lucas pulled it out and checked the caller ID.

"It's Dad."

Nathan rubbed his eyes.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"I'm not answering it."

"Good."

"Has he been blowing up your line?"

"I don't know. When Megan kept hanging up on me, then refused to take my calls altogether, I kind of just turned the damned thing off."

Lucas stood up.

"Well, it's cold out here and I'm starving. You officially look like crap so why don't we do this? You head upstairs and take a shower. I'll find us something edible to eat in here. After we eat, we'll take it from there. Sound good?"

Nathan nodded.

"Thanks, man. Thanks for coming."

"That's what big brothers are for", Lucas winked as his phone rang again. "Damn! I might have to follow your lead and turn mine off for a while."

"What the hell does Dad want now?"

Lucas glanced down.

"Hold on…it's not, Dad. It's Brooke."

He pressed the "send" button to take the call.

"What's up, babe?"

Nathan stuck around, trying to figure out what was going with the other end of the line. He studied his brother's face.

"Is Megan alright?" he mouthed.

Lucas waved a hand in front of him to quiet him so he could better hear Brooke.

"Yeah…okay…how…what do you mean…calm down…Brooke…you're where…alright…what did they say…how is she…what? Okay, okay. We'll be right there. Just hang tight, okay?"

He flipped the phone shut. Nathan could see the panic in his older brother's face.

"What is it, man? Did something happen?"

"We have to go, Nate. Grab you jacket."

"Luke!"

Lucas, faced his brother with ragged breath and a painful expression.

"Megan is in the hospital."

"Hospital?"

"She went into labor. Apparently she'd been having contractions all day."

"What? What do you mean labor, contractions? The baby isn't due for another two months."

"I know…that's why we have to go."


	121. Special Delivery

**_Author's Note: Some of you guys are some evil little bitches, lol! You'll stop at nothing to get some Naley action, even sacrifice poor Meg and her child. I am cracking up at some of these reviews. Glad you guys are still hanging on and I hope you enjoy it despite the tense and/or sad moments._**

**_For Angela, who went over the river and through the woods and is no doubt driving her sister crazy just to get updates for my story..._**

Megan groaned as she slowly opened her eyes. It felt like forever before everything came in to focus. Finally she could see what was in front of her but not before the flood of pain raced through her tired body.

"Meg?"

She looked up to the concerned face over her.

"Brooke…" she whispered.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here."

Megan nodded and struggled to sit up. Brooke helped her gently.

"Where am I?"

"We're at the hospital, kiddo."

Megan looked around. Her hands instantly gravitated towards her middle but gone was the familiar wighted budge.

"The baby", she gasped. "Brooke, oh God! My baby! Where is my baby? What happened?"

She tried in vain to get out of bed, swatting away at the various tubes and IVs attached to her.

"Megan, calm down…Luke! Nathan!" she yelled for backup.

The dark haired brother came bounding into the room seeing that his wife was awake and in a state of panic.

"Megan!"

Brooke left with Lucas, the two staying close by but still giving Nathan and Megan their privacy.

"What are you doing here? What's happening?"

She looked absolutely terrified.

"You went into labor", he almost whispered.

"What?"

"Do you remember Brooke bringing you to the hospital? You were having contractions. You were, um, bleeding pretty bad. The baby's heart rate was in distress and they uh…they did a C section."

"What?" she screamed. "Nathan! No! No, it's too early! No…"

"It's okay, it's okay", he tried to restrain her.

"Where's the baby?"

"In the NIC Unit. They have her in one of those incubator things."

Megan softened for a second.

"It…it's a her?"

Nathan smiled sadly.

"I…I went ahead and gave her the name you picked out. Yoanna Isabella Scott."

Megan grinned proudly.

"Oh my God", she said softly. "Have you seen her?"

"She's beautiful", he nodded, fighting back tears.

"I want to see her. Can we hold her? When will they let me see her?"

"Wait until you get your strength, okay? Then we'll go up and see her together."

"No. No, Nathan. I want to see her now. I want to see our daughter."

Panic, sadness, anxiety and determination were all etched on her face. He knew it would be impossible to stop her from seeing their child.

"Okay. Look, I'll get the doctor but…but there's something I have to tell you first, Meg."

"What?"

"She…Yoanna's not very strong", his voice broke. "She, um, she, she…has a few problems."

Megan felt her heart breaking. All of a sudden her arms and legs felt like jello.

"I want to see her", Megan repeated.

Nathan nodded as he called for the doctor. A few minutes later, Dr. Zierke appeared with Nathan, Lucas and Brooke.

"How are we feeling, Mrs. Scott?"

"I want my baby. What's the matter with my daughter?"

Dr. Zierke sighed.

"Your daughter was almost nine weeks early. Premature babies have not developed completely. The earlier a baby is born, the less developed its organs are. Premature babies tend to have very specific problems."

"What kind of problems, Doc?" Lucas anxiously asked.

"Your daughter isn't breathing very well on her own because her little lungs are not developed enough. Right now she is being helped with a ventilator and a breathing tube."

"Does it hurt her?" Meg asked horrified.

"No. We are doing everything possible to ensure little Yoanna is comfortable but in addition to her respiratory distress, she has a severely underdeveloped immune system. That means she is not very good at fighting infection just yet. She is more susceptible developing severe infections more easily than a normal newborn. We are giving her antibiotics right now…"

"Are they helping?" Brooke asked hopefully.

"For now, yes but there is a bit of a risk as some of the antibiotics can cause long-term problems."

Nathan bit his lip.

"Is she going to be okay?"

Dr. Zierke took another deep breath.

"It's hard to say, Mr. Scott. The hospital is doing everything we can and the best neonatologist in the state is working with Yoanna round the clock. She's in the best hands possible but I can't make any guarantees. I'm sorry. For now, we are monitoring her condition very carefully."

"Can I see her?" Megan asked tearfully.

"Of course", he complied softly.

Megan and Nathan were ushered upstairs to the wing that specifically housed premature and sickly infants. They put on surgical scrubs and masks before entering the room as to protect little Yoanna and the other babies from germs and infections.

They approached the large machine that housed their tiny daughter and Megan gasped. Her knees buckled but Nathan was there behind her like a rock, her pillar of strenghth pushing her slowly forward. They peered inside and saw the small baby.

"She's so tiny", Megan whispered.

"She's beautiful", Nathan said.

"I know. She is beautiful."

A pretty woman with in scrubs joined them.

"Mr. and Mrs. Scott?"

"Yeah", Nathan nodded.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Jenna Petrocelli. I'm the neonatologist assigned to take care of Yoanna. I am trained to handle the most complex and high risk births and I will be here with you for the duration. We are doing everything to stabilize her condition and provide her all the proper nutrients."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"We're doing everything we can."

Megan nodded tearfully.

"Can I hold her?"

"Not yet, Mrs. Scott, I'm sorry but you can touch her."

Dr. Petrocelli opened the window to the housing unit. It gave them a better look at the fragile, tiny little girl inside valiantly fighting for her life. Megan broke down.

"Oh God…"

"It's okay, Mrs. Scott. You can touch her. It's okay."

With a shaking hand, Megan reached in and stroked her daughter. She was so warm and soft and small. She guided Nathan's hand as well. He didn't speak but the tears pouring from his eyes said a thousand words.

"Dr. Petrocelli, can we just stay here for a while? Please?"

The doctor nodded.

"Of course. I'll have to close the window soon but you can stay here with her for a while. And talk to her as well. She'll recognize your voice and Mom's voice is very soothing for the baby but Mrs. Scott, you just went though major surgery. You need to concentrate on healing yourself. You and your husband can stay for a bit but you need to go downstairs and get your rest."

Megan nodded.

"Thank you."

Dr. Petrocelli smiled sympathetically before walking away. Nathan followed after her.

"Doc…"

"Yes, Mr. Scott?"

"Look, I know you're doing everything you can but just…just please. Let our baby be okay. Don't let my daughter die."

Dr. Petrocelli had seen it what too many times.

"We're doing everything humanly possible, sir. I assure you. For now go spend time with Yoanna…and take care of your wife."

Nathan looked over at Megan who was cooing at their little girl. He walked over to them, letting a protective arm drape around her waist.

"This is all my fault", she whispered.

"What?"

"I was having contractions all day. At first, I thought they were the Braxton Hicks, you know, false alarms. I thought it was nothing. Then it just got worse and worse. Oh God, Nathan. This is all my fault. Look at her. I did this to her."

Tears streamed down her cheeks as Nathan sighed and pulled her in close.

"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault, okay? Yoanna is going to be fine. She's going to be just fine…I promise."


	122. A Sign From God

Nathan sighed as he stared into the NIC unit. He had convinced Megan to finally get some sleep in her room but he had unable to leave his post as he watched their daughter. He couldn't get over how small Yoanna was or how it seemed like every breath might be her last.

"Nate…"

Nathan turned around to find himself face to face with his uncle.

"Keith…what are you doing here, man?"

"We heard the news and uh, well, we couldn't stay away. Jules and Karen are in the main lobby and your parents are on their way. Peyton is here too…she's with Lucas and Brooke."

Nathan nodded.

"Well, you didn't have to come but um…thanks."

"No problem. We're all family, as dysfunctional and crazy as we are, but family takes care of one another. Where else would we be? I just want you to know, we're all here for you and Meg and whatever you guys need."

"I appreciate it."

"That's her?" Keith pointed to the isolation unit that housed his great niece.

"Yeah."

"She's beautiful."

"She is."

"Things any better?" Keith asked hopefully.

"No", Nathan answered sadly. "No better but no worse so I guess that's something to be thankful for."

"She's a fighter, Nate. It's in her blood. I won't stand here and try to sugarcoat the situation or say everything is going to be okay because I don't know that. But I do know your little girl is fighting for her life. And she's got a lot of people praying for her. That's got to count for something."

"You named her Yoanna Isabella, huh?"

"Yeah. It's something Megan had picked out a while ago when we were going over girl names."

"Pretty name. So…how is Meg?"

Nathan ran his fingers through his hair.

"Scared. Tired. I finally got her to go back to her room but I doubt she gets much sleep."

"Looks like she isn't the only one in need of rest. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, man."

"You sure? When's the last time you got a nap?"

"Keith, it's cool. I'm not tired."

"Well, at least eat something. We could go grab a quick bite to eat in the cafeteria or something…"

"I'm not hungry, dude."

Keith took a deep breath.

"I know you don't want to leave. I understand how hard this must be for you but you're gonna be no good for Meg or Yoanna if you wear yourself out. Just get away, even if it's only for a few minutes."

"I can't."

"Nathan…"

Nathan looked his uncle in the eye.

"I can't leave her, man. Don't you get that? I'm afraid. What happens if I walk away just for a second and her condition changes? I can't chance that."

"Nate…"

"It's all my fault."

"What?"

"This…everything."

"What are you talking about?"

Nathan shook his head.

"Keith, I've been such an ass lately. I just keep fucking up. Basketball, the accident, Haley…it's not fair. Look at everything I put my wife through. Megan went into premature labor because of me. I've hurt a lot of people. It's amazing Meg isn't locked away in a padded loony bin somewhere because of me. But in the end, my daughter is the one to suffer most. That's not fair, dude. Look at her. She's just a little baby. She's so innocent. Yoanna didn't ask for any of this. She doesn't deserve this."

"It's not your fault, Nathan", Keith replied softly.

"Yes, it is. I did this and now my kid is between life and death and there's nothing I can do but watch."

"Yes, there is."

"What?" Nathan asked.

"You believe in God, don't you?"

Nathan shoved his hands in his pockets. He and God weren't exactly on the best of terms lately it seemed.

"Yeah…I guess. Wait, you're gonna tell me to go to the chapel and pray about it, huh?"

Keith shrugged.

"If you want. Who knows? It might help. Besides, a little prayer never hurt anyone."

"Keith…"

"Who says you have to go to the chapel? Son, God hears 'amen' wherever we are. Remember that."

Nathan took a deep breath as his gaze returned to his baby.

"Thanks", he mumbled. "Look you can go on up to the lobby or whatever. I'll meet you there in a bit. I'm just gonna hang out here a few more minutes before I go back and check on, Meg."

Keith nodded.

"Whatever you want", he embraced his nephew before leaving him alone again.

Nathan eyes cast upwards. Of course he had always been raised to believe in God but it had been a long time since he had set foot in a church.

"God, it's me…Nathan", he began softly. "I know You're probably surprised to hear from me. Seems like the only time I come to You is when I need something. Sorry for that. Actually, I guess I'm kind of sorry for everything. I've been messing up a lot lately. I know I screwed up. I just keep hurting everybody, especially the people I love most. I do feel bad for everyone I hurt and if You could take all their hurt away and give it to me, I'd gladly take it. I deserve it more than they do. But of everything that's happened, I…I just beg You, if you're doing this with Yoanna to punish me…please don't. Teach me a lesson in another way. Hurt me…just don't hurt her. She's just a baby. She's my baby. And I love her so much. So does Meg. We don't want to lose her. Please. Please God. I know I don't deserve it but if You could, just do this one favor for me. If you're listening, please just let Yoanna be okay."

"He's listening."

Nathan jumped and turned around.

"Mike. Man, what are you doing here? What are you doing out of bed?"

The dark haired man smiled from his robe and wheelchair.

"I heard about what happened and I'm sorry. I figured you'd be down here. I just wanted to come see her and tell you I'm sorry this happened to you and Megan."

Nathan chuckled sarcastically.

"Some might say this is karma. I mean, look at the irony. What goes around, comes around, right?"

"Don't think of it like that, man. Don't do it to yourself. I don't know what this is. I don't pretend to have all the answers. I just think we're all victims of circumstance in a way. All of it. You, your wife, your ex wife, the accident, your daughter…it sucks but sometimes bad things happen to good people. It's just a part of life we have to deal with. You deal with it somehow and try your best to move on. I know it's rough and this might not mean much right now, but for what it's worth, I'm here for you."

"Even after everything that's happened…everything I've done."

Michael nodded.

"Yeah."

Nathan couldn't believe it. Maybe that was a sign from God. Maybe He did work in mysterious ways after all. The man before him, still relying on a wheelchair to get around after almost two months, the man whose life Nathan had nearly destroyed, could stand in front of him and not only forgive him but be there for him in his time of need.

"Thanks, Mike."

"No, problem", they bumped fists.

"So", Nathan sighed. "How'd you know where to find me? How'd you know I'd be down here?"

Michael shrugged as their attentions turned back to little Yoanna.

"Easy", he said in a quiet voice. "I'm a father, too."


	123. A Common Bond

Megan groaned as she awakened. There was a dull ache in her lower abdomen, probably from the stitches of her C-section. With everything going on with her daughter, at times she almost forgot the she herself was recovering from major surgery. The physical discomfort was an unwelcome reminder.

She slowly moved to a sitting position, flinching when she realized Nathan had pulled a chair up to her bed. His head was buried in the covers at her side and his hand was placed protectively over hers. In the sofa by the door of the private room, Brooke and Lucas lay curled up napping.

"You okay?" Nathan stirred, awake instantly the second his wife moved.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just these damned stitches…"

"Are you in pain? You want me to call a nurse?"

Megan shook her head.

"No, no. It's okay. I'm fine."

He yawned and stretched.

"You want some water or something?"

"No", she looked over at the two trying to sleep nearby. "They're still here?"

"Yeah. Everyone else is kind of camped out in the lobby. Mom and Dad, Keith and Jules, Karen and Peyton."

"They all came?"

"Yeah."

Megan felt like crying.

"That's so sweet of them."

"I know", he sighed. "Um, your parents are on their way, too. They called a couple of hours ago."

She rolled her eyes.

"I really don't want to deal with them right now but I suppose I should be grateful. I need all the family support I can get."

"I know…me too. I never thought about it like that but it's nice that everybody is here. Our families can be total pains in the ass sometimes but when it counts, everybody does band together."

Meg nodded in agreement.

"Have you seen Yoanna lately?"

"Yeah. Uh, a few hours ago."

"How is she?"

Nathan managed a tired but sad smile.

"Still hanging in there. She's a tough one."

"I need to see her…"

"You should try to rest more. I'll go back up in a minute and the nurses promised to come get us if anything changes."

"How can I?" Megan asked simply. "How can I sleep not knowing if my baby is going to be okay?"

"I know. I know how you feel. I was up there for hours just looking at her."

"She has to be okay, Nate. Yoanna has to make it."

"She will", he sighed.

"I'm scared, Nathan. Oh my God, I am so scared."

He rubbed her hand.

"Me too but we have to hang in there, too. Yoanna is trying to be strong for us so we have to be strong for her."

"This is so hard…"

"I know. I know, Meg. But we're in this together, okay? No matter what."

"Nathan…"

"I know I've said it a million times but I really mean it this time around. Seeing our daughter really put things into perspective. I know I've been screwing up. I've made so many mistakes. I kept apologizing, kept promising to do better but nothing ever really changed. It just got worse and that was my fault. But no more. I promise."

"Look, Nate…"

"For what it's worth, I want you to know I have not touched a sip of alcohol since the accident. I don't even want to. I hurt my mom and nearly killed an innocent man. That was a wake up. I know you and I have a lot of stuff to work out and I'm not even sure if we have anything left to save but I am gonna do better. I promise you that, Meg. I'm going to be a better person. Even if we can't work it out and I suck as a husband, I'm going to do my damnest to be a good father to our little girl…and a better friend to you. I can't say I'm sorry enough but I am."

She wiped a tear away.

"I'm sorry, too. I've been sitting here trying to figure out where we went so wrong and how to even fix it…if we even can. Nathan, honestly I don't know what we're doing and if it's even worth it. Obviously your heart is somewhere else."

"Megan, can we…can we just talk about this later?"

"We can talk about it now or later or whenever you decide but it still won't change the fact that you slept with Haley…and the fact that you're still in love with her."

"Meg…"

"Don't deny it now. You've already admitted it and that's not something you can just take back. You have to face it, Nathan. We have to face it.

"We have a lot to decide. We have a lot to talk about. I know that and we will. Soon, I promise. But for now, let's just get through this. Let's just take care of Yoanna and get her home safe and sound and we'll deal with the other stuff later."

Megan nodded.

"I love her so much. It's unreal, Nate. I never thought I could love another human being so much. She's our perfect little angel. Just the thought of losing her…"

"Don't say that. We won't okay? Megan, we can't think like that."

"I'm just so scared. I really want to see her…"

Megan tried to get out of bed but it was harder than she thought. She grabbed her middle and winced. Nathan was immediately on his feet, gently helping her back down.

"We'll see her together in a little bit, okay?"

"No. Nathan…"

She gave way to tears of love, worry and fear. Nathan sighed as he climbed in bed beside her.

"Just calm down. I'm right here, okay? I promise I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay with you until you feel better then we'll go see Yoanna."

Megan cried softly into her pillow.

"Nathan…"

"Just relax. I'm here."

"Why us?" she cried. "Why is this happening to us?"

It was a question he had been asking himself all along. Yet he still had no answers for it.

"I don't know, Meg. I don't know."

She continued to sob softly and he wrapped an arm around her. She recoiled at his touch, flashbacks of the last few months playing over and over in her mind. Imagining him having sex with Haley. Haley at their wedding. All the times he had yelled at her or ignored her. All the drama with her father and Dan. The confrontations with Brooke, the humiliation, the accident, and the final incident of fury on New Year's.

Part of her hated him. She wanted to slap him. It was his fault and his apologies were of little consolation. But the minute she looked in his face, she saw the hurt and desperation in his blue eyes. They shared a common concern and unconditional love for Yoanna. If she did hate him, she would have to hate him later. For now there was no time for that. The only thing that mattered was the baby and like it or not, Nathan Scott was the father of her child…and her husband. Together they did and would always share that common bond.


	124. Letting Go Is The Hardest Part

"Coffee, a Snicker's bar and day old doughnuts", Lucas handed it to Brooke.

She managed a tired smile.

"Dinner of champions, huh?"

They shrugged as they devoured the less than appealing hospital junk food. They were going on 56 hours straight at the hospital, never leaving Nathan and Megan's sides.

"You want to see her? Yoanna, I mean" Lucas asked as they finished eating.

Brooke shrugged.

"Yes and no. Is that horrible, Broody? I mean, I feel like we should but it's so depressing. She's so tiny and so sick. Every time I see Nate and Meg and the heartbreak on their faces…it's just so unfair. They don't deserve this."

"No one does", he sighed, wrapping an arm around her as they took the elevator back to where Megan's room was.

They arrived on the floor, seeing the four parents had joined Nathan and Meg. Peyton, Karen, Keith and Jules kept their distance by the door. The exhausted group exchanged wordless hugs. They just stood silently, huddled together keeping the faith as their vigil continued. They barely noticed the female doctor in scrubs who slipped into the room.

"Dr. Petrocelli", Megan saw her first.

"Hey, Doc", Nathan looked up. "Is everything okay?"

She summoned her strength to speak. Keeping emotion out of the equation was the hardest part of her field.

"Mr. and Mrs. Scott, I need to speak with you, please…privately."

Megan instantly felt a profound sorrow growing deep inside her. Tears sprang to her eyes.

"No!" she screamed.

It was an almost inhuman sound, one that could only come from a mother who had just lost her child. The agonizing moan and the shrill of the pitch made Brooke's knees buckle.

"Mrs. Scott…"

"Just say it", Nathan said anxiously, not caring who was or wasn't in the room.

Dr. Petrocelli took a deep breath.

"Yoanna's lungs are very small and underdeveloped. She lacks the sufficient tissue needed for her airway. She has been diagnosed with what we call Respiratory Distress Syndrome or RDS. Babies with RDS have immature lungs that lack a chemical mixture called surfactant, which keeps the small air sacs in the lungs from collapsing during breathing. They do not get enough air in and out of their lungs. We have done all we can for Yoanna but her vital stats and her condition just aren't improving. She also lost two ounces since yesterday."

"What does that mean?" Deb tearfully inquired.

"I'm sorry but it means there isn't much more we can do for Yoanna. We have exhausted every medical effort possible but it's not enough. As the parents, it is your decision of you choose to keep her on the ventilator but it's my professional opinion and diagnosis that you'd just be prolonging the process. I'm sorry…"

"What are you saying?" Laurie asked.

"In all probability, Yoanna won't make it."

Hearing those words out loud sent Megan into a tizzy. She sobbed heavily as a stunned Nathan held on to her.

"No!" Dan spoke up. "This is ridiculous. You give me the name of the best neonatal facility in the country, hell, the world and I will have my granddaughter flown there immediately."

"Sir, that is your choice but we have highly qualified and trained medical professionals in this hospital, including myself, and any neonatolgist that views Yoanna's chart will tell you the same thing. I am so sorry. I know this is extremely difficult for your family."

"How long?" Nathan managed to whisper, finally finding his voice.

"It could be a couple of hours, it's hard to say."

"No!" Megan began to wail.

Peyton's heart went out to her, to both of them. Although she hadn't physically given birth, she was a mother, too. She had helped Jake care for Jenny ever since the girl had been a tiny infant. She couldn't begin to fathom the unspeakable pain she would feel if something ever happened to her daughter.

"Guys, let's give them their privacy…" she poke up as she began ushering the family away.

"I'm staying right here", Dan announced. "My son needs me."

"And my daughter needs me", Laurie added.

Peyton gritted her teeth, determined not to make a scene but just as adamant that especially those two of all people leave the room.

"Everybody out", she stated again in a much firmer voice.

"Peyton, this is a family matter", Dan warned.

"No, this is a private matter. It's a Nathan and Megan matter. They should have their privacy and we should respect it."

At the urging of Deb, they cleared the room and closed the door, leaving the devastated couple alone. There were no words for Nathan to describe what he was feeling inside. He could barely set his psyche around it. He was in place so painful and surreal that nothing seemed existent anymore. Nothing made sense. He was unable to react emotionally in his state of utter shock.

Megan on the other hand was a different story. Never in his life had Nathan seem someone cry so hard. She sobbed so loudly her whole body shook. With each wail it look like she might break something inside of her. Of course something inside of her was already broken…her heart.

"Meg…"

"No!" she screamed. "Don't do it, Nathan! Don't you say it!"

"Megan…"

"No!"

Nathan turned to Dr. Petrocelli who had lingered behind.

"If we disconnect the ventilator, what will that do? Will she die quicker?"

"Yes but either way it's a matter of hours. With the ventilator, she will likely die within 24 more hours. Without it, three or four, maybe more. But she'll be comfortable and you'll have a chance to hold her, spend time with her."

Nathan fought back tears.

"Megan…"

"Why? Why, Nathan? Why, God? Why our baby?"

"Meg, I…I want to hold her", he whispered.

The tears streamed down her face. She looked in the doctor's empathetic eyes and knew it was all over. Her precious baby was dying. As much as she wanted to die herself, she couldn't bear the thought of all those tubes and machines.

"If…if my daughter is going to…going to die, she, she, she is going to die in my arms", Megan sobbed.

Dr. Petrocelli nodded.

"We'll make the arrangements."

"Can we…can we christen her?" the distraught young mother asked with one last hint of hope.

The doctor nodded and handed the pair a clipboard before leaving to make the preparations. As soon as the door shut, Megan gave way to unspeakable grief and sorrow. Her gut wrenching moans came from deep within.

"I thought she would be alright, Nathan! Oh God, I told her she would be alright!" she cried over and over again.

All Nathan could do was hold his wife. His own hands shook as he saw the papers attached to the clipboard. They awaited he and Megan's signatures. It was a permission slip to end their daughter's misery as well as her life. She could die humanely and peacefully and they could hold her in their arms.

He stared a while longer before finally scrawling his signature. He handed it to Meg who held it as she continued to cry. It felt like years as he sat on that bed watching a woman he loved in the most pain he had ever seen anyone in. She clutched the clipboard to her chest. After all the praying and hoping, it was over. It had come down to that one moment.

With trembling hands, she signed her full name barely legibly before taking the board and hurling it at the door in one final act of fury. She sobbed, head in her hands as Nathan held her. She pushed him away but he only held her tighter. Although he couldn't express his hurt, they were sharing the same awful, inexplicable pain. It was their beautiful little girl, the baby that had wanted so much and had so looked forward to. After two days, the little one had given up her brave fight for life. She was going to be with God and they would have to accept it. They would have to let Yoanna go…and letting go was the hardest part.


	125. The Littlest Angel

Brooke practically ran down the corridors of the hospital. Opening the chapel door, she saw the solemn faces. Dan and Deb, Mark and Laurie, Karen and Peyton, Keith and Jules, and of course Lucas.

"Here", she handed the bag to Lucas. "Give this to Nathan and Megan."

"What's all this? Where have you been?"

"It's a christening gown for Yoanna. I looked all over and it was really hard to find one for a preemie but this is the best I could do."

"Brooke…" Lucas looked up, his eyes filling with tears.

What a sweet gesture. Just another poignant moment that reminded him, not that he needed one, why and how much he loved Brooke Davis.

"Thank you", he whispered.

She nodded and motioned for him to hurry up. It was important for the ceremony to start as unfortunately time was not on their sides. The chaplain on duty arrived and the small group gathered around. A nurse wheeled Megan in, Nathan by her side, as she cradled little Yoanna. It was time. The chaplain began with a prayer and a few scripture readings appropriate for what was relevant. The room was eerily and sadly quiet, except for a few sniffles. The ceremony commenced quickly, ending with the sprinkling of holy water onto the tiny baby's body.

Afterwards, the family and friends assembled outside Megan's hospital room. She sat in a rocker with Nathan beside her as they held their daughter, savoring those last few precious moments. One by one they would file in to see Yoanna and give their condolences to the parents.

Mark and Laurie held hands and prayed as they placed a single kiss each on the child's forehead. Dan was quiet and stone faced as Deb held their granddaughter close to her, silent tears spilling. Peyton and Karen took pictures so the couple could have a physical memory of their daughter as well as Keith and Jules filed in and out quickly, taking time to see the baby one last time before giving Nathan and Megan hugs. Then it was Lucas and Brooke's turn.

Lucas leaned over the small girl, gently stroking her skin.

"You should hold you niece", Megan tearfully told him.

Lucas nodded, his strong arms shaking as he held Yoanna. She was his niece, the child of his younger brother. The baby they had all wanted and looked forward to so desperately. The baby that was supposed to "fix" everything somehow.

"I love you, Yoanna", he cooed softly.

Brooke wiped away tears as she placed a kiss on the child's forehead.

"Good bye, little angel."

After a moment of silence, they handed her back to her parents and left the family alone.

"Hey, Luke?" Nathan called him back.

"Yeah, bro?"

"Could you do me a favor? Could you ask Peyton to come back in."

Lucas nodded and the blonde emerged seconds later.

"Nate…"

"Do you still keep that sketch pad in your car?"

"Yeah", she answered, confused.

"Could you…do you mind drawing a picture of Yoanna?"

Peyton was taken aback at the request. She looked at Megan who nodded.

"Okay…um, sure. Let me go get my stuff."

She ran out quickly to her car to retrieve what little utensils she had. When she returned, she took a seat in the room facing the family of three and taking a deep breath, began to sketch.

"Hi, Yoanna", Megan sniffled. "You are my beautiful, precious angel. I love you so much, you know that? All I ever wanted was to be a mother, your mother and now that's been taken away from me. I won't have the pleasure of seeing you crawl or take your first step or your first day of school but you will be with me everyday. You'll live on in my heart, baby girl. I promise you that. Every single day for the rest of my life. I will never, ever forget you. I will never, ever stop loving you, Yoanna."

Nathan listened to his wife. Inside he was falling apart. His heart was breaking. But he couldn't express it. He couldn't talk to his daughter. He couldn't even cry. All he could do was stroke her little body and kiss her. It was so painful to watch the tiny, helpless being bravely suck in each breath. Finally after a few minutes, there was nothing. No breath, no sound. Just peace.

"She's gone", Megan whispered.

The baby's short life had expired but her mother wasn't ready to let her go just yet. The body was still warm and she wanted to hold her until the last possible minute. Peyton, done with her drawing, placed it on a table and left the room. After a few minutes, Nathan kissed his wife and daughter and followed suit.

"It's over", he sighed. "She went quick and peacefully and in her mother's arms."

"Oh Nathan", Deb sighed running to her son.

He didn't return her embrace but he didn't fight it either.

"Can somebody call the funeral home? We just want to do something nice and quiet in Tree Hill. Make sure she's buried in the christening gown. I want a church funeral and a burial in the Scott family plot."

They nodded, wanting to do whatever they could to somehow make it easier. Nathan thanked them, then hands in his pockets, headed down to his car in the parking lot. He got in and cranked it, almost backing over Peyton when she opened the passenger door.

"What are you doing?"

"You don't need to be alone right now."

"Pey…"

She buckled her seatbelt and he knew there was no use in arguing, not that he felt like it anyway. He pulled out of the parking lot and they drove around aimlessly for hours.

"Where are we going?" she finally asked softly.

"I don't know", Nathan whispered. "But I can't stop. I feel like I might lose it if I do."

"That's okay, Nate. You're entitled. You just lost your daughter. I know you're hurting. It's okay to mourn, sweetie. It's alright to cry."

Nathan shook his head.

"I can't cry. I want to. I feel like it…but I just can't. Does that, does that make me a horrible person?"

"No", Peyton answered quietly.

Nathan pulled the car over on the side of the road.

"Can I just sit here for a minute?" he asked.

"Of course. Whatever you need."

Nathan nodded thankfully.

"Will you stay with me?"

"As long as you need me to."

And she did. She sat silently by his side for hours until he was ready to return to the hospital and face his tragic, new reality. The heartbreak and devastation was etched all over his handsome face and it killed her that he was hurting, that something so terrible had happened and especially that she couldn't do anything. She could be there and be his friend but at times, it didn't seem like enough.

Driving back to Jake and Jenny and her life in Tree Hill later that night, Peyton sighed. It had all been so sad but there was one thing left to do. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed a number.

"Hello?" it was answered on the third ring.

"Haley? It's me. It's Peyton."

"Hey you. What's going on?" she asked cheerfully.

"Um, I need to talk to you. Are you busy right now?"

"Nah. I can't really sleep. I was just watching TV. What's up? You sound upset. Are you okay?"

Peyton took a deep breath.

"No. No, I'm not okay. There's something I have to tell you, Haley…something you ought to know."

"What?"

"Megan went into premature labor. She had her baby."

Haley gasped.

"Oh my God. Is she okay? The baby…"

"It was a little girl, Yoanna Isabella."

"Was?" Haley asked, trying to contain her emotions.

"She died a little while ago."

"Oh no…"

"I'm sorry. Look, you were gonna find out anyway. I just felt like I should tell you. I know regardless of everything that has happened…"

"No. No, it's okay. I am so sorry to hear that but I'm glad you called. Thank you", Haley said as a tear fell.

"I thought you should hear it from a friend and not a television or newspaper. Look, it's been a long two days and I'm headed back to Tree Hill. I'll call you in a couple of days when things settle down, okay?"

"Okay", Haley hung up the phone.

She was stunned. Her own tears were falling heavily and not only could she not stop them, she couldn't explain why they were falling so freely. It was sad. She had heard how badly Megan had wanted her baby. Haley could only imagine the heart wrenching pain the young woman was now experiencing. And Nathan? Poor Nathan! He was already two steps from the edge now surely this would be the one event to push him over. God, it was so unfair! Why? Here, Megan was, perfectly healthy, thrilled to be pregnant and eagerly awaiting her new arrival. And Haley was beckon more depressed by the hour about hers. At times she even questioned if she wanted a baby. There must have been some kind of mix up. Maybe God got it all wrong. Maybe He was supposed to take Haley's baby instead.

Wiping away tears, she grabbed a piece of paper and a dark marker. She scribbled words on it and applied a single strip of tape, sticking it to the outside of the front door. Haley then opened the drawer by her bed and fished out the envelope that had been safely harbored there for days. Taking it, she walked back into the living room and tossed it into her blazing fireplace before heading back to bed where she cried herself to sleep.

Hours later when a partied out Taylor returned home, she fumbled with her key in the lock, looking up to notice a sign on the door written in her sister's handwriting. **Courier Service Cancelled! Please Ignore Previous Request For Letter Pick Up.** Taylor wrinkled her nose. What the hell could that mean? With Haley, she couldn't tell and she was too wasted and tired to try to figure it out. After all, it was Haley's life and her decisions. All her life she had seemed to do the right thing and somehow or another, everything always worked out, even if wasn't the planned way. Yeah, Haley would be alright. If anyone could get through tough times and come out smelling like a rose, it was Haley bub, Taylor thought as she passed out on her bed. She always had.


	126. The Hardest Good Bye

It was a cold and snowy January day. Lucas pulled into the small Tree Hill church parking lot, dismayed that reporters and photographers had the gall to show up. When did those vultures ever stop? Did they have any shame at all? He stared angrily, his ghost white knuckles clutching at the steering wheel.

"Come on, babe", Brooke prodded. "We have to go inside. Don't even worry about those jerks."

They exited the vehicle and made their way inside. The paparazzi dared not speak a word. The only noise came from the click of their cameras. Luke's jaw tightened as Brooke strengthened the grip on his hand.

"Have some respect", he muttered as they entered the church.

The pews were already filled with the intimate number of family and close friends who had gathered. In the front row sat Nathan and Megan, dressed in black, saddened faces, holding onto each other. All eyes were on the tiny pink casket at the head of the church, two pictures on either side. One, a photo Karen had taken of little Yoanna, and the other the framed sketch Peyton had drawn.

"We have gathered here today to honor the memory of little Yoanna Isabella Scott", the preacher began. " Although she is no longer with us and was only with us for a short amount of time, this precious loan from Heaven will live on in our thoughts and in our hearts forever. Each of us, whether a member of her family or a friend of the Scott and Powell families, has been deeply touched by the short presence of this beautiful child and each of us has come today to honor those special moments and bring comfort to her parents. Though we won't get to see her grow from a child to a young woman and the physical presence is gone, the relationship does not end. Yoanna's death ends her physical presence among us, but not our relationship with her. And so, today, we have come together to celebrate the life of an angel. When the beloved is no longer present, the work we do upon the image of her is not to cease. In this spirit, the family and friends wish to share their thoughts."

Lucas made his way to the front of the congregation.

"William Butler Yeats once said, _'For death does not end life but is part of it, one of nature's transformations as we work our way through its cycles. Death informs life. It is not simply the mother of beauty, it is the mother of life itself, for how could we conceive of life if there were no death? And it is only because we conceive of life that we know we must taste it lingeringly, try every flavor and nuance, drink in experience while we can. Death and life are dependent upon each other, like order and chaos, neither concept being possible without the other. So there should be no fear of death, which is omnipresent, part of life. Welcome it into your arms, for it is but rest; for you lie in nature like a heartbeat.'_ I know these words do little to bring comfort to the ache in all of our hearts for Yoanna but the passage has special meaning for me today. Although I would love to be selfish and have Yoanna here on earth with us, I can smile knowing she is in Heaven where she belongs with God. And because of that, each and everyone of us now has a guardian angel watching over and protecting us. On behalf of my brother, Nathan, and my sister in law, Megan, our entire family and I appreciate you being here today to honor Yoanna, whose memory will live on through each and every one of us every single day. Thank you."

Deb was next. Her legs felt like jello as she walked to address the mourners in her simple, black dress.

"Good afternoon", she nodded as her voice cracked with heavy emotion already. "I thank you all so much for coming. Your thoughts and prayers, words of comfort, generous donations of flowers and kind gestures such as bringing food over to our home has not gone unnoticed. The Scott and Powell families thank each and every one of you for your concern and thoughtfulness during our time of need. You, our wonderful and strong friends, have been such a source of comfort, I'd like to say. And to my son, Nathan, and to Megan…there are no words right now to ease the pain and sorrow in your hearts. Just know that I'm here for you in any way I can be. I love you, I love Yoanna, and I love our family. I was blessed for the brief time she was with us, to hold my sweet little granddaughter in my arms. Holding that precious little life and seeing that beautiful little face is the closest I have ever been and probably ever will be to Heaven. And though it's hard to let go and I'll never understand quite why she was taken from us too soon, I am forever grateful for the two days we had her in our lives. Last night, I wasn't quite sure what I would say to you all and I stayed up very late thinking long and hard about it and after hours of just sitting there, suddenly I found a pen in my hand and I was writing words furiously onto this paper. The words flowed as freely as the tears and both come from my heart. I am not a writer or a poet but this came to me from Yoanna, as if she had written the words herself so I would like to share it with you…

_Mama and Daddy, I feel your pain and I hear your cries,_

_But this is the truth told from your baby's precious eyes._

_I didn't expect a brass band, with welcome mat unfurled,  
To be on hand when I arrived, in this confusing world._

_I knew awaiting for me would be a family and with it so much love,_

_But don't worry about me, now I just feel it from here high above._

_I just wasn't prepared for that enormous place,_

_Yet I wanted to see you all for a short time, face to face._

_So Mama, Daddy, granparents, uncles, aunts and friends, please don't be sad for me anymore,_

_It is okay for now I am safe living with Jesus on His golden shore_

_And I know you all will miss me forever,_

_But one day soon, we'll again all be together."_

She barely made it and her soft voice often choke with sobs, but Deb finished her moving tribute to her dead grandchild. Next Peyton stepped up to the microphone. She opened her mouth to speak but the words wouldn't come. She knew she wanted to say something, she just didn't know what. Then she thought back to her own mother's funeral 14 years before. She opened her mouth and a beautiful song flowed. Usually only Jake and Jenny Jagielski were treated to her strong but soothing singing voice but for the first time Peyton Sawyer was ready to share it with the world.

_Make me a channel of your peace  
Where there is hatred let me bring love  
Where there is injury, your pardon Lord  
And where there is doubt through faith in You _

_Make me a channel of your peace  
Where there is despair in life let me bring hope  
Where there is darkness or only light  
And where there's sadness ever joy _

_Oh, Master grant that I may never seek  
So much to be consult as to console  
To be understood as to understand  
Or to be loved as to love with all my soul _

She finished the hymn to see Megan dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Jenny stood from her sear and walked over to Nathan and Meg, handing them the picture of a baby guardian angel she had drawn. Both of them hugged the little girl tight.

"From the Old Testament, book Ecclesiastes, chapter 3, verses one and two", the preacher read from the Bible. '…There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.' And from the new testament, the book of Revelations, chapter 22, verse 13, '…I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end' and verse 21 '…The grace of the Lord be with all'. We know that our little Yoanna is finally Home."

And just like that, the funeral for the child was over. Tim, Mouth, Skills, Fergie, Andy and Keith carried the coffin outside to the rear entrance where a car waited. At the cemetery in the Scott family plot, little Yoanna Isabella was laid to rest.

One by one, the family members and friends placed single pink and white roses on top of the casket. Nathan kneeled down, bowing his head and closing his eyes as he placed a final kiss on it. The minutes turned to hours and everyone began to leave, everyone except for Deb and Lucas who waited in the car. They were silent and sometimes tearful as they watched the parents standing by the casket even as the sun went down.

"You alright, man?" Lucas asked as Nathan made his way over to him.

His blue eyes were tired and void of emotion, worry lines creasing his tanned and handsome face.

"I'll be alright, dude", he hugged him. "Look, thanks for everything."

Lucas nodded.

"Is she going to be okay?"

They all looked at Megan. She was no longer crying but her arms were folded and she appeared to almost be keeping vigil over their departed infant.

"I don't know, bro", Nathan sighed. "I don't know."

"It's late. It's getting cold", Deb observed. "We should be going, honey. We should get, Meg."

"She won't leave. She can't…"

Deb closed her eyes as Lucas slowly walked over to her. He gently wrapped his arms around his sister in law, tenderly guiding her away.

"Come on, Meg", he whispered. "It's time to go."

She opened her mouth and whimpered. It was like her feet were permanently planted there.

"It's okay", he said. "It's going to be okay."

She didn't speak, she just cried softly, finally relaxing her muscles enough to let Lucas lead her away. He walked her back to the waiting car. Just as night was beginning to fall and the setting sun had cast a beautiful pink and purple, almost orange tinted sky, Megan turned around and had one last look at the casket.

"It's okay", Lucas kept repeating.

Deb wiped a tear from her daughter in law's face and the women embraced. It was time to go.

Lucas opened the car door and as Megan went to get in, Nathan extended his hand. One soundless gesture that spoke a thousand words. Looking down, at the coffin and back at her husband again, she took a deep breath. And without any further ado, accepted his helping hand.


	127. With Open Arms

**_Author's Note: Thank you all again for the exceptional reviews. And to those who have been touched by the last chapters in the most personal way, then God bless you! _**

**_For those of you that e-mailed me personally or left me your e-mail, please forgive the fact that today I am too tired to repsond. I promise to get back to everyone tomorrow! Thanks again, guys..._**

Nathan sighed as he watched yet another wave crash in onto the damp sand. It was a nice day for the beginning of February but chilly nonetheless. He had wrapped up in jeans, sneakers, and his favorite red hooded sweatshirt. It didn't matter though as he could barely feel the cold in the air. His body sat on the beach but his mind was elsewhere. It had been weeks since the death of his child. The pain still weighed heavily yet he remained unable to express his emotions. He hadn't had time to deal with him or talk to his wife or even figure out his next move. They had remained tucked away in Tree Hill, in the guarded sanctuary of the beach house constantly surrounded by well meaning family and friends. Nathan appreciated the kindness and concern, but sometimes he just needed to get away. If he didn't, he felt like he might combust.

"Nathan, sweetie…"

He looked up and saw his mother clutching her thin jacket.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked.

"I was worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"I…I know. But I worry just the same. Listen, I know you probably came out here to be alone. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. I just wanted to make sure you're alright, honey but I'll go back inside and…"

"Don't go", he almost whispered.

"What?"

"I said, don't go."

He looked at her with the pleading eyes of a lost little boy and he was her little boy so how could she refuse? Deb took a seat beside him.

"You want to talk?"

Nathan took a deep breath.

"I've been a real ass lately, Mom. Practically the last seven or eight years but especially lately. I'm sorry for that."

"It's okay…"

"It's not okay."

"You're hurt, Nathan. And you've been hurting for a long time. Seven years is a very long time. When we don't deal with our pain it just manifests itself into something worse. We bury it deep inside and it turns into this ugly, uncontrollable beast."

"Like Dad?" he half smirked.

Deb shrugged.

"Yeah…like your father."

"I've still been a real dick to you and to everybody."

"Maybe I haven't been the best person either, Nate. A small part of me can't help but think this is all my fault. It started with Haley."

"Mom…"

"Sweetie, let me finish. Please don't be angry with me for saying this but I know all your problems started when she left. You really loved her. I know that. I knew it then, I was just afraid."

"Afraid of what?'

"Afraid of losing you. Afraid that you were repeating my same mistakes. Afraid that you would somehow turn into your father."

"What do you mean?"

"Dan and I were so young when we got married. We were 18 then, 19 when you were born. One day I was a carefree college freshman, the next I was a wife and a mother."

"You regret it, don't you?" he asked her outright.

Deb shook her head.

"You? Never, my boy. I love you so much, Nathan. You are the most important person in my life and the best thing that's ever happened to me. I never regret having you."

"But you regret Dad?"

"Sometimes. Don't you? Your father isn't the easiest man to love or live with or get along with. It took a while for me to discover that side of him. As much as I loved him, as much as I still love him, I didn't really get to know the real him before we got married and that I do regret Nathan. And that was my biggest fear for you and Haley. You were still in high school for God's sake. I didn't doubt that your love was real but no matter how much you might be in love, there are always going to be obstacles when you're that young. You both had so much ahead of you. You and ball, Haley and singing."

"Well, she sure didn't let anything stand in the way of her dreams", he muttered sarcastically.

"And she shouldn't have. She was young and talented and she hopped on opportunity. There's nothing wrong with that, Nathan. The harm is, she was married and she made a lot of choices and did things that you just can't up and do when you're married like it is when you're single. That's my whole point. You guys should have lived before the marriage. You should have concentrated on basketball and she should have pursued her music career before you decided to exchange wedding bands."

"We didn't have to. I mean, who says we were destined to be the hot shot NBA star and the Grammy winning rocker? Huh? Why couldn't we have concentrated on each other instead of sports and music? Mom, what's so bad about being normal? What would have been so wrong with me working with Keith and Haley teaching school or going into business with you and Karen?"

"Nothing is wrong with it but it wasn't your destiny. You both had dreams, dreams bigger than Tree Hill for sure. It was destiny for you to pursue them. Look what happens when you don't. Look at your father, the relentless bully living vicariously through his sons because he gave everything up. And look at me."

"What about you? What was your dream?"

Deb shrugged and gave a faint smile.

"Oh, I don't know, honey. There's more I wish I could have done. Like I said, I never regretted having you for an instant but sometimes I do wish I had waited. Lived a little more, maybe settled down at 25 or 30 instead of 19."

"Is that why you had that affair that time you ran off when I went to camp?"

She closed her eyes.

"Yes. It's no excuse, really. I was being selfish because I couldn't deal with my life. But it was wrong to cheat on your father and it was wrong to leave you. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry how you had to find out. I wish I could have been more truthful with you sooner but I was ashamed of what I had done."

"I hated you then. I hated you for not being there. I hated you for leaving me with him. God, Dad was such a nightmare that summer."

"I know, sweetie. I'm so sorry. When I finally wised up, I ended the affair. I came home and tried to make it up to you but it was too late. You had turned into…"

"Him…" Nathan's voice trailed off.

"No. No, Nathan. You will never be him. You will never be your father."

"When you came back I was just like him. Arrogant, cocky, rude, selfish…the only thing that saved me junior year was Lucas and…"

"Haley."

"Yeah", he repeated softly. "Haley."

"I'm sorry I turned my back on you two. I was just so angry and so scared for you. I treated her badly and I shouldn't have. I realized that only after she left and I tried to be there for you but…"

"I was an asshole."

"I can't blame you, son. You were in such a dark place. Then you went off to school and I prayed every night that something would deliver you and that prayer was answered in the form of Megan. She was a godsend."

"Yeah…she was pretty great."

"She saved you. A pretty, intelligent, caring, compassionate, vibrant, beautiful young girl. She was just like Haley and I think subconsciously that's why you chose her. That's definitely why I embraced her. Because that's exactly what you needed at the time and I didn't want her to go away like…"

"Like Haley did."

"That's right."

"But she came back."

"It was fate. Karma. Something written in the stars. Totally unavoidable and inevitable because that's what happens when we don't exorcise our demons from the past. They just come back."

Nathan nodded.

"I messed up, Mom. I messed up real bad."

"You still love Haley?"

"I never stopped."

"What about Meg?"

"Yeah, I do. I love her because she's a great person. I love her because she was the mother of my child. But I was never really in love with her. You're right. She was Haley's replacement. They were so much alike but I knew Meg would never leave me. She was the safe version of Haley, the one that would never hurt me. So all that time I thought I was in love with Meg, I was really loving Haley."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. I have no idea. I swear to God I never planned my life to be this way. I didn't mean to screw up my career or hurt Michael Sanchez or get in this mess with either Haley or Megan. Things have just gotten so bad, I don't know how to fix it."

"Are you going to go back to Charlotte when Megan goes?"

"If she goes, yeah. Mom, I owe her that. I don't know if we have a marriage left but there's no way I'm leaving her now. We've been through so much. When she's up to it, we'll talk and I'll let her decide what she wants."

"And what about Haley?"

"What about her? It's done, Mom. Over. Haley has her life and I have mine."

"Remember what I said about the demons? They will come back, Nate."

"What am I supposed to do then? I have enough on my plate without having to deal with Haley James right now. I can't, Mom. I just can't."

"I know right now the most important thing is taking care of Megan."

"She's having the hardest time with this."

"She lost her baby. She's grieving, honey. It's supposed to hurt. There is nothing wrong with screaming or crying or breaking things."

"She's done a lot of that."

"What about you?"

"Huh?"

"Nathan, I know how much you love Yoanna. I know this is tearing you up inside. It's okay to let it all out."

"I can't", he shook his head. "I just can't, Mom. I've tried but I can't even cry. Not one stinking tear since all this has happened."

"Nathan…"

"This is all my fault. You're right…I'm not Dad but I'm something a whole lot worse. I'm a monster, too. I screwed up my life. I hurt Haley. I made my wife go into early labor and I killed my daughter. How's that for a resume? I think I've one upped Dad on that one."

"Honey, don't do this to yourself. It's not your fault."

"I know I was a bad husband. I know I messed my career up. I know I haven't been the best son or brother. I've made so many mistakes Mom but I was ready for this one. I was ready to be a father and not screw it up."

"You would have been a wonderful father, Nathan."

"I loved my little girl. I needed Yoanna."

"I know."

Just saying the words aloud brought him tremendous relief. His voice choked heavily and a lump formed in his throat. Then the tears clouded his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mom", he cried.

"Nathan, you don't have to be sorry."

"I'm sorry for everything. For hurting everybody…and I'm sorry for hurting you. I've blamed you for so much because I was too much of a chicken to turn around and look in the mirror. I hurt you and I drove you to the pills and…"

"No, honey…"

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry for the accident. I almost killed you."

"It's okay…"

"It's not okay!"

"Yes, it is", she hugged him. "Come here. It's okay, Nathan. All of it is going to be okay. Mommy's here. You can let it all out."

And he did. He cried harder than he ever had. He cried for having to put up with Dan Scott's crap all his life. He cried for the pompous young man he had been. He cried for Haley. He cried for Megan. He cried for his mother. He cried for his career. And most of all, he cried for his daughter.

"All this time I know you were just trying to be a good mother", he sobbed. "I didn't mean to shut you out. And I didn't mean to let you down. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"I know", she cradled him.

Then he said the words she had been longing to hear for years.

"I…I love you, Mom."

Deb held him tighter than ever before.

"I love you, too, Nathan."


	128. Silence Makes A Noise

**_Author's Note: Sorry for the brief and unexpected hiatus guys. I got busy with work and other stuff and the down time I did have, well let's just say my heart wasn't in it. Well, I'm back on track (for now) so I hope you guys continue to enjoy..._**

**_Someone reviewed last week and left their e-mail for me to write them. I think the addy had something like "lilangel" or something in it. Well, the message got chopped up and I was unable to get your address and I can't find the original review to look up your profile. So I promise I wasn't ignoring anyone. Just drop me another line in my private mail..._**

"Hey", Nathan said softly as he entered the bedroom to the beach house.

Megan didn't even bother to look up.

"Hey."

"I brought you a plate", he offered.

"I'm not very hungry", she shrugged.

"I know but you have to eat…"

"Nathan", she slightly chuckled.

He grinned sheepishly.

"I know. I sound like my mom."

"You do."

"Here. Just try to eat something, even if it's only a few bites. Karen made it so you know it's good. Her famous chicken sandwich and fries, with a side of peach cobbler."

Megan managed a smile as she took the bag from him and began nibbling at the food.

"Thanks…it is good."

"Yeah…I uh, just came up here to check on you and stuff. I know we haven't had much of a chance to talk and everything."

"I know. I was just, uh, working on these…"

She pointed to a small pile on the bed.

"What's all this?"

"Thank you cards. Everybody has been so kind…I just wanted to write a little something to let them know we appreciate everything."

"I can have my dad's secretary do all this…"

"I know but I want to. I mean, not that I want to but more like I have to."

Nathan frowned.

"That's cool. I…I just know it must be hard."

"It is but…"

Her voice trailed off sadly.

"I was just wondering Meg what you were gonna do as far as the house and stuff. Like if you planned on going back to Charlotte or to your folks in Raleigh or even staying here for a while. No rush but I just wanted to know where your head is."

She shrugged.

"I have to go back sometime. I can't hide out here forever and as much as my family means well, I really can't deal with being around them right now."

"I understand."

"So I guess I'm going back to the house in Charlotte probably in a few days."

"And from there?" he asked meekly.

Megan took a deep breath. She knew what he was getting at.

"I don't know", she answered honestly.

"Meg…"

"Nathan, I can't tell you anything about our future together right now because I don't know if we have one…or if I even want one with you anymore."

She felt tears coming on that she couldn't blink away.

"I know. Look, I can't blame you. All this is my fault, Megan. All of it. I'm sorry…"

"About which part? The fact that you cheated on me, the fact that you're an alcoholic, the fact that you treated me like shit, or the fact that our daughter is dead?"

He closed his eyes. He deserved every bit of her venomous wrath and more…and he knew it.

"All of it", he answered in a shamed, quiet voice.

Megan bit at her lip.

"I can't do this right now", she whispered.

"When?"

"I don't know, Nathan. I'm not ready yet. I can't, okay?"

He looked at her, stroking her hand and closing his eyes when she quickly pulled back from his touch.

"I know you're hurting, Meg. So am I. Yoanna was my daughter, too."

At the mention of their daughter's name, Megan began to sob. He held her despite her protests, ignoring his own tears.

"Nathan!" she wailed.

"It's okay", the tried to comfort her.

"It's not okay", she cried.

He wiped her tear away with his thumb,

"You're right…it's not okay. It sucks. It hurts. And it isn't fair. This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to be happy. We were supposed to be a family, Meg."

"Before or after Haley James?"

"Megan, don't…"

"Don't what? Don't speak the truth? Don't bring her up? I can't skirt around the issue because she is the issue, Nathan. You admitted to me that you love her!"

"I know, I…"

"You do, don't you?"

"Yeah but…"

"But what? But nothing! What, are you gonna say you love me, too?"

"I do. Megan, I do love you. Look, I know I screwed things up. I know this is all my fault. I don't know if we have a marriage left but I do know we both loved Yoanna. And we're both in this together. I need you and even if you don't want to admit it, you need me, too. Meg, I don't want to go through this alone. I can't, okay?"

"You have no right to ask me anything."

"You're right. I don't but I'm gonna ask anyway. I want to come home with you. I don't deserve it and I know it's not permanent but for now, please…just until we figure some stuff out."

She looked at a man she had once loved more than life itself. Now she didn't know exactly how she felt about him.

"Why, Nathan? Why now? Here's your chance, your one out you were looking for. The baby is gone. You don't have a reason to stay anymore."

"Yes, I do."

"If you love Haley so much, then go be with her."

"I can't. Right now I don't want to. It's complicated for me to explain but I can't be with her right now. It's not right…"

"Oh okay. So you stay with your wife until the coast is clear? Thanks but no thanks, Nathan", she stood to leave.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him.

"Please don't go. I didn't mean it like that. Megan, damn. I don't know what to say here. I've been an ass and maybe my sins are unforgivable but I'm pouring my heart out to you now. This is the truth. This is me, Meg. All I can give you right now is me."

She stared at him with icy blue eyes.

"I don't know if that's good enough anymore."

"Please", he practically begged.

"I…I don't know, Nathan. I don't know how I feel about me or you or us or anything. Okay? I can't promise you anything."

"I'm not asking you, too. You don't owe me a damned thing, Meg. I'm the one that owes you."

She nodded as she looked away, the tears drying on her tired, pretty face.

"Okay", she finally conceded in a whisper.

Then she turned her back. She closed her eyes as she felt his pitiful, pained stare but she dared not speak a word. The silence itself was deafening enough. The silence that spoke a thousand words of what was left of their union.


	129. Unconditional Love

Peyton warmed the pot of homemade hot chocolate over the burner as she set aside five mugs.

"Mmmm, P. Sawyer", Brooke groaned. "You make the best cocoa I have ever tasted."

"The trick is to use milk instead of water. My mom taught me that."

"I'll have to remember that when Broody and I head back to Philly."

"You guys still leaving tomorrow?" Peyton asked.

"Yeah. It's time to get back. I have work and Lucas has a game. I know his heart is here with his brother and we'll try to come back whenever we can but we have to get back to our real lives, too."

Peyton nodded as the back door busted open and in bounded Lucas, Jake and Jenny.

"Hey, hey, hey! Snow boots off at the door, guys!" she reminded the trio.

Breathless and excited, they did as they were told, fresh from a fun filled afternoon of playing in the few drops Mother Nature had decided to sprinkle upon their town.

"Mom, can I have chocolate chip cookies?" Jenny asked.

"After dinner you sure can."

The little girl frowned but it quickly faded and turned into a smile as her father slipped her one right out of the jar.

"I saw that", Peyton said, hands on her hips after Jenny had run upstairs.

"I have no idea what you're talking about", he shrugged innocently.

She wiped a streak of chocolate evidence from his own mouth.

"Purely circumstantial?"

"I totally plead the fifth", he grinned.

"You're not funny, Jagielski."

"Pey, it's just a freaking cookie, babe. The world's not going to end."

Peyton threw up her hands.

"Whatever, Jake. Just let her do whatever the hell she wants to do…"

"Okay, roll the end credits, please", Brooke interrupted. "We've had enough drama to last us like forever. Jagielski and Sawyer, we don't need you two going at it, too."

"I'm fine", Peyton sighed.

"And so am I. Like I said, it's just a stupid cookie and besides, all this stuff with Nathan and Meg…I don't know. It's really made me think. Yeah Jenny can be a spoiled brat and a royal pain in the ass sometimes but that's my little girl. Our little girl. And I love her. I've loved her since before she was even born. I can't even describe it. As scared as I was, the bigger Nikki's stomach got, the more real it became and the more I fell in love with my daughter. And when Jen finally came out…it was the coolest thing, you know? It was like being born again, watching this helpless, innocent, screaming little creature you helped to create that is such a part of you yet totally separate. I know what all that was like for me, how special it was and to have it taken away…dude, I can't even imagine the pain Megan and Nathan are going through right now."

Peyton nodded.

"Is he any better?" she asked Lucas.

"He's hanging in there but I know it's tearing him up."

"Poor guy."

"Poor Meg", Brooke sighed.

"Yeah", Peyton said. "I don't know how she's getting through this."

"I don't think she is", Brooke added. "She looks…awful. I hate to be rude but the girl is skin and bones and pale as a damned ghost. I know she was always a tiny thing but I don't think she's eating."

"She probably doesn't have much of an appetite", Peyton observed.

"I just feel so bad for her, for both of them. I wish there was something we could do or say…"

"We're doing all we can just by being here for them", Lucas sighed. "They are headed back to Charlotte pretty soon, I think."

"Both of them?"

"Yeah."

"Wow", Peyton said. "What do you think will happen to them now? Their marriage?"

"I don't know. He says he's gonna stay with her. They have a lot to work out or at least to talk about for now."

"I don't think there is a marriage left", Brooke spoke.

"Brooke!" Lucas said, angry and a bit surprised.

"What, Broody? You want me to lie? There is no sense in prolonging the pain."

"That's not what he's doing. Nathan is really hurting over this, all of it. It was his kid, too, you know."

"Babe, no one says he isn't hurting. I know he's your brother and I know you want to defend him but face it. This is all…"

"Don't say it" Lucas cut his eyes at her. "I mean it, Brooke. You better not say this is all his fault."

God knows he loved her more than himself but if the words came out of her mouth, he couldn't be held liable for his actions.

"Fine", Brooke said tensely. "I won't say another word."

"Guys…" Jake interjected.

"It's cool, Jake. Besides, I don't want my boyfriend to bite my head off so I will keep my comments to myself. I won't say anything about the stuff Nathan has done over the past few months and I won't dare bring up Tutor Wife."

"Haley is irrelevant in all this", Lucas said tersely. "I mean, really. We can blame a lot of things on her but it's not her fault Yoanna died and we all know it. And yeah Nate was no saint in all this but it isn't his fault, either. He loved his daughter and in his own way, he loves Meg. He never meant for any of this shit to happen."

"I agree", Jake piped in. "But have you talked to her, Luke? Haley, I mean?"

"No", he shook his head.

"I have", Peyton volunteered quietly.

All eyes turned in her direction.

"What?"

"I called her the night Yoanna died. I know we all made a pact to stay out of stuff but I had to. It wasn't right for her to find out on TV or in a magazine."

"What did she say?" Lucas asked.

"Not much. Obviously it was very sad for her. I mean, anyway you look at it, it's a pretty terrible situation. Anyway, we didn't talk long and she didn't say much but I could hear the tears in her voice."

"Pey, why didn't you tell me?" Jake asked.

"I don't know", she shrugged. "It never came up. And I didn't think you would understand…just like you won't understand it when I say he needs to see Haley right now."

"Absolutely not!" Brooke shook her head.

"Not now", Lucas agreed. "It would just make things worse on everyone, if that's even possible anymore. But it wouldn't be good."

"It's really kind of pointless", Jake sighed.

"Gosh, guys I don't mean like this instant. But in time after things settle down. After Nathan and Meg decide what they're going to do…"

"What good would that do?" Brooke asked. "Really, Pey. Think about it. Haley totally has her own thing going on in New York with Chris Keller and her career and her own kid for God's sake. Why should she be thrown back in the mix? It isn't fair to her kid. If you ask me, Nathan and Megan need to just split up and sort things out and deal with their own individual problems and pain. They can't help each other until they at least try to help themselves first."

Jake shook his head.

"Here the four of us go again. So much for not getting involved."

Lucas took a deep breath.

"I can't not be involved."

"Broody…"

"What Brooke? I'm sorry. His life is torn to shreds. Yeah, a lot of it is by his own hand but he's still a human being. And I love him and I'll do whatever I have to do to help him and protect him. You might not get it, you might not agree with it but I don't care. All I need to know is one thing and that's the thing that truly matters…he's my brother. Nathan is my brother and I can't turn my back on him. I won't. Not now, not ever."

The mood was tense. Lucas had spoken and like it or not, he did have a point. Besides, there would be no changing his already made up mind.

"Mom, Daddy, can I play with my finger paints?" Jenny asked as she returned to the adults.

Peyton sighed as Jake nodded.

"Yeah, Jen, just don't make a mess, okay?"

Jenny looked at her mother who was near tears.

"Mom, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Jenny."

The little girl studied the bewildered and hurt expression on Peyton's face.

"I'm sorry I ate the cookie when you told me not to", the child apologized softly and sincerely. "I won't do it again, Mom. Just don't be mad at me."

Peyton looked up at the scared expression on her beloved daughter's face. God, Jenny meant the world to her. She couldn't imagine not having her or Jake in her life. Without them, it would be a pointless and lonely existence. She looked over at Lucas and immediately knew what he had meant. She understood his love for Nathan. It was real and strong and pure…and without condition.

"No, baby, I'm not mad at you", Peyton cooed as she hugged her close. "Never at you, Jen."


	130. Haley World

"Hey, did you get the pictures back from your last ultrasound?"

"What?" Haley looked up from wiping down the kitchen counter.

Taylor rolled her eyes.

"The last sonogram…you know from your doctor's appointment on Monday."

"Oh. You mean, that. Um, no…no I didn't."

"Nice going, little sis. How am I ever supposed to finish your baby book?"

"My what?"

Taylor showed her younger sister the project she had been working on for weeks. It was a book designed to record mementos during pregnancy. Haley flipped it open and to her surprise saw detailed journal entries as well as pictures of the nursery and photos that showed the progressive growing of her stomach over time.

"So, what do you think?"

"You…you did this?" Haley asked in shock.

"Yeah. Pretty cool, huh? No need to thank me, Haley bub."

Haley shook her head furiously, dropping the book like it was a hot potato.

"Taylor!"

"Hey! Be careful with that! Dude, I spent a lot of time putting it together for you."

"Why?"

Taylor shrugged.

"I don't know. Because I'm nice, maybe? Or because I was bored or because it's something sweet you and my little niece or nephew can look back on in a couple of years."

"You shouldn't have."

"I don't mind."

"No, I mean it, Tay. You really shouldn't have. I…I want you to stop. Please…"

"Haley, look I'm trying to be cool and supportive even with this little bug up your ass but you are making it way difficult."

"Taylor…"

"Just save it. All I asked for was ultrasound photos. You don't have them? Okay then. Just never mind."

"I don't have them because I didn't go", Haley retorted quietly.

Taylor raised her head.

"Come again?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, sis, I heard you but I was seriously hoping I heard wrong. Why'd you miss your appointment?"

Haley shrugged as she continued wiping.

"I didn't miss it, I…I, I just didn't go, okay?"

She said it as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Uh, no it's not okay. Did you reschedule?"

"No."

"You plan on rescheduling?"

"No."

Taylor shook her head.

"Unbelievable."

"What? Tay, don't start. I don't want to hear it right now."

"Well, it sounds like you need to hear it from someone. Haley, what the hell is your problem?"

"I don't have a problem."

"Oh yes, you do."

Haley tossed the damp rag into the sink. She took a deep breath as she defiantly crossed her arms over her huge belly.

"Taylor, I don't feel like discussing this with you right now. I don't get it. What do you want from me?"

"I want you to get your head out of your ass! You're pregnant. Do you not get that?"

"I know I'm pregnant, Taylor. Okay? Trust me. I'm the one that gets kicked and poked from the inside. And not to mention fatigue and nausea and hemorrhoids and having to pee 24/7 as well as swollen ankles. Yes, Tay, I know I'm pregnant. I see it in the mirror every damned day."

"Then why don't you start acting like it? That's your kid, dude and you act like it's nothing. Like you don't even care. I get being depressed and maybe this didn't turn out the way you wanted it but what about that little baby?"

Haley looked away.

"I made a mistake, Tay."

"What do you mean?"

"Where do I start?" she laughed bitterly. "Eight years ago or seven months ago?"

"You don't even want this baby, do you?"

"No. No, I don't! Fine! Happy now, Taylor? Well, I said it. No, I don't want this baby."

"So what are you going to do?"

Haley sighed.

"I don't know. I don't have too much of a choice, now do I?"

"What about Nathan?"

"What about him?"

"It is his kid, too", Taylor shrugged. "He has a right to know. And with everything that has happened to him…"

"What? You think a nice little replacement will make it all better for him? Taylor, we are real people and this is real life! It's not like his dog died and getting him a new puppy will make everything better. He lost his child. I don't want to hurt him anymore or his wife for that matter."

"And how is concealing the truth helping them?"

Haley rolled her eyes.

"You ungrateful, spiteful, know it all little bitch. You have no right, Taylor. You don't know what I'm feeling right now. You have no idea. I do everything for you. I've given you money and a home…how dare you repay me with your accusations and your petty judgments?"

Taylor smiled.

"I see nothing has changed. In Haley World, everything still revolves around Haley. And Little Miss Perfect can make asinine, selfish decisions that hurt and affect everyone else, but hey, who cares? It's Haley World, right? And as long as Haley is happy, as long as she can justify her idiotic behavior, then it's 'fuck everyone else', right?"

"Screw you, Taylor."

"No, screw you. Because you know I'm right. And if you're mad at the world or upset because you messed shit up with Nathan in the beginning, then that's fine. But that's all on you. But it's pretty low and pretty selfish, even for you, to not get prenatal care just because you can't figure your shit out. Now who's the bitch, Hay?"

Haley scowled as she began to storm off.

"I'm not having this discussion with you right now…"

"You should have had an abortion!"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Haley. You should have had an abortion. You don't want the baby anyway. A good old fashioned abortion would have solved all your problems months ago. Why did you even put yourself through this?"

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"The kid would have been better off? Better off not existing in the first place rather than having a cold, resentful witch of a mother who hates its guts all its life."

"Shut up, Taylor", Haley warned. "This is my problem."

Taylor stood and threw the book in Haley's direction before grabbing her coat and house key.

"I could only wish", she shook her head. "That's where you're wrong, little sister. It's everyone's problem."

And with that, she slammed the door with a thud.


	131. All Bark and No Bite

Megan sighed as she entered the house. She had spent all day long at the unmarked grave of her precious little girl. She had arrived early in the morning and sat down on the cold, damp grass, talking out loud as if Yoanna was physically there with her and could understand her every word. For hours she had been unable to move, so she sat and spent time with her child. And when the visit finally came to an end, she placed a single pink carnation over where a headstone would soon replace it. In a small envelope, a hand written note read: _To my angel on earth and my angel in Heaven. I love you always. Mama_

With tears in her eyes, she had returned to the beach house to finish packing to prepare for the journey back to Charlotte. It was a trip she had been looking forward to and dreading all at the same time for weeks. But it was inevitable. She had to go home. And as much as it hurt, she had to face the future.

She heard the bumbling around upstairs and closed her eyes. Nathan. She still didn't quite know how to feel about all that. Yes, he was her husband and she did love him. He was Yoanna's father and their immense grief created an unshakable bond. But on the other hand, he had betrayed her. He openly admitted loving another woman. And a part of her couldn't help but blame him for their baby's death. It was the thinnest of lines between love and hate.

"Nathan, I…" she called out as she walked upstairs.

Meg stopped dead in her tracks. It wasn't Nathan at all.

"Megan…"

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you", he smiled that charming smile that used to melt her heart.

Of course that was back before she found out her father in law was an evil, dastardly, uncaring bastard.

"Why?"

"Because I'm concerned of course", Dan said sincerely. "How are you?"

"Not so good. My life sucks in fact. I have a husband I may or may not divorce due to the fact that he is an alcoholic and an overall son of a bitch and he caused me to go into premature labor oh and not to mention, my daughter just died so uh…things aren't going that well, right now."

"Megan, I…"

"You what? You're sorry?"

"For your loss? Yes, I am."

"I'm sure", she said sarcastically.

"Of course I would be. Yoanna was my grandchild. It's my loss, too, Megan. You're not the only one hurting."

"Your loss? Please! Don't make me gag!"

"Meg…"

"You know, you have some nerve. How can you even talk to me with a straight face? I don't know how you do it."

"That's not fair."

"Neither is life. I don't want to hear about your losses. You don't care about Yoanna or Nathan or me for that matter so just do us all a favor and give the saint act a rest. The only thing you have ever remotely cared about is yourself and what's in your best interests. Yoanna's death is just one less person you could have had around to manipulate and hurt and destroy and control."

"That's not true."

"It is and you know it. Now if you'll excuse me…"

"Megan, I know how much you're hurting. I know this venomous person before me isn't the real you. I know you can't possibly mean the things you're saying right now."

"I do."

He nodded.

"Very well. I only ask one thing."

"You have no right to ask me anything."

"Maybe so but this is important. In your grief, Megan, and I know it is difficult…don't let this tear you and Nathan apart."

"What?"

"In such a tragedy, an event like this either brings two people together or tears them apart. Don't let the latter happen. Nathan needs you…and you need him, whether you see that now or not."

"Dan…"

"Just don't hate him."

She laughed out loud in spite of the situation.

"You have balls the size of grapefruits, you know that?"

"Megan…"

"No. You really have some nerve. I don't believe you. How dare you!"

"I'm only trying to help."

"I've had enough of you and your helping. You've done enough…trust me."

"I know in this situation it must be an easy out to blame Nathan for all your…problems, shall we call them. But it's not his fault, Megan. At least not all of it."

"I'm not stupid. I know that."

He raised an eyebrow.

"So you don't blame him?"

It was her turn to smirk.

"No…I blame you?"

Dan's eyes bulged.

"Me? What the…"

"This is all your fault. All of it. Now how does it feel? Be honest, Dan. What's it like to be the destroyer of all things? You almost ruined Keith and Jules' life. You've been a dick to Karen for years. You've been a major disappointment to your parents and you turned poor Deb into a pill freak. And your own son would rather have been emancipated, poor as hell, getting by on minim wage at the pretzel shop than be around you. What's that like? And Lucas? He just feels sorry for you, God bless his heart. But I guess that's the good in him and we all know that didn't come from you. So yeah this is all your fault. I blame you for hurting me and for my baby's death and most of all for turning Nathan into the sorry excuse for a human being he has become."

Dan's face reddened and his jaw clenched. No one talked to him like that…and got away with it.

"Don't ever speak of my son like that", he advised in a warning tone.

Megan laughed out loud.

"Your son? Please! If he hadn't been your son maybe he would have made Haley and me a half decent husband."

"What the hell is your problem? Huh? Just who do you think you are? You can't talk to me like this! And you can't leave Nathan!"

"Says who?"

"Says me!"

"Or what?"

"Or I'll…"

Megan shook her head.

"Or you'll what?"

"I'll…"

She smirked.

"Just like I thought. You won't do shit. Dan Scott, all bark and zero bite. Now this has been every entertaining but I've had just about enough of you today. Do me a favor and get the hell out. Close the door when you leave, please."

Dan was furious. He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted as Nathan joined them.

"Dad", he said surprised. "What are you doing here?"

Dan was flustered for probably the first time in his life.

"I…I was just seeing how things were", he adjusted his blazer.

"We're fine", Nathan nodded. "Just packing up to back to Charlotte."

"I see."

"Look, thanks for coming and all but we've got things under control. Anything else you needed or…"

"No", Megan answered for him. "Your father was just leaving…weren't you, Dan?"

He gave her a smirk before nodding at his son.

"Yes, I was. Have a safe trip and uh, I'll be talking to you."

"Alright, man. We'll talk to you later."

Dan looked right at Megan who showed no fear.

"Oh you bet…Megan, dear, we will certainly chat later."

She never looked up from her suitcase.

"Looking forward to it…Mr. Scott."


	132. Breaking Down The Fortress

Megan lay quietly on the comfortable king sized bed. It was the perfect atmosphere for an afternoon nap as the house was quiet but it was an eerie quiet. Instead of calming her it made the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand readily at attention. She wondered aloud if life would always be like it was at that one moment. God, she hoped not. She didn't know if she could take it if it were. Sighing, she realized just how quickly life could change. The last few months had definitely proved that to her. She looked around and remembered just like it was yesterday the day she and Nathan had moved in to their Charlotte dream house. She remembered the very first time they had made love in that bed. Heck, when they first moved in, they had made love in every room of that house.

Just over a year ago they nestled in that very bed, cuddling, laughing and making plans for the future. A future that seemed so bright and happy, filled with hope and promise. Now the laughter had since been replaced by sad silence. There was no Nathan, no laughter, no warm hugs, no excited chitchat about the future...all of a sudden there was no future. A series of unexpected events had shattered her dreams and changed life forever. The unthinkable had happened and Yoanna was gone forever, taking with her perhaps the last chance of survival for her parents' marriage.

Right down the hall was the room that was supposed to serve as the nursery. It was still decorated with its nursery rhyme theme, all ready to go. She knew eventually she'd have to disassemble the furniture and take down the pictures. The time had come. Her parents and sisters and a few friends had offered to help but it was something she knew she had to do alone. She knew it couldn't remain that way forever but she wasn't ready for it to go. Not just yet anyway.

In the shadows she jumped as she thought she heard a faint cry. It sounded like a baby…her baby.

"Yoanna!" she called out.

For a split second she thought she would walk into the room and the baby would be there. Megan practically ran to the nursery but it was empty. But she wasn't and sadly never would be. Her heart sank staring at a vacant crib. The silence was killing her and she couldn't stand it.

For the past weeks it had been just the opposite. Day and night the beach house had been filled with friends, family and neighbors cooking meals, arranging the many flowers that had been sent, trying to assist with funeral arrangements, and taking care of her. Megan truly appreciated the help and the love and the good intentions but it had been a bit suffocating. It was all too much and secretly so many times she had wished that they would all disappear. Now her wish had come true. The company and the well wishers were gone. She was back in Charlotte and she was alone with her thoughts and memories.

"Meg?"

Nathan emerged from downstairs when he thought he had heard her call out their daughter's name.

"Nathan…"

"I…I thought I heard you say something. You okay?"

"I'm fine. I was just um…I, I was thinking about taking some stuff out of the…"

She couldn't say the word but they both knew what she meant.

"Yeah", he scratched his head. "Um, if you need some help…"

"I'll be fine."

"I know but I was thinking it's something we should do together."

She opened her mouth to protest but nothing came out. It's not that she didn't want his help but she knew that if he did help, it would actually get done. The nursery would just become another room and all that would be left of Yoanna would be yet another memory.

"Okay", she finally sighed. "Whatever."

Nathan nodded and they entered the room. He quietly disassembled the crib as she went about taking down the character pictures. She tried not to cry as she boxed up toys and put away tiny little clothes. Minute by minute, piece by piece the room was slowly dismantled. Soon there was almost nothing left…

Taking a deep breath, Megan sat on the floor, the soft white carpet adding some level of comfort. She felt nothing but an overwhelming sadness as she sat on the floor and played with the blue stuffed bunny rabbit in her hands, the perfect stitches of his wide eyed face freakishly smiling back at her. Lucas had bought that and a barrage of other toys months ago for the baby. He had said that it was part of his duties as an uncle. But Lucas had been relieved of all duties and responsibilities before they had even started. There was no more baby. There was only silence and an empty room. There were the brightly painted walls and disassembled crib and the boxes of stuffed animals and tiny clothes neatly strewn about the place. There was the stuffed rabbit with the evil almost taunting face.

Nathan sighed as he watched his wife in the nursery. It probably wouldn't have mattered much if he had made noise. She seemed not to notice or even care lately. She was quiet and sullen and so distant. It was plain to see just how much she was hurting inside. It killed Nathan to see her like that, to look into those once beautiful and expressive eyes of hers and now see only a dull darkness.

"It's late", he finally sighed. "We can finish the rest tomorrow. You want to go to bed?"

She didn't agree, she didn't protest. In fact, there was no verbal response at all. She simply placed the bunny back in the corner and walked towards their bedroom, climbing back into bed almost mechanically. Laying beside her was like being next to a stranger. He didn't know what to say or how to act around her anymore. Finally he rolled over and draped an arm across her limp body. She didn't respond at first but slowly wriggled out of his embrace and closer to the edge of the bed.

"Megan…" he whispered.

"What?" she answered him back.

Nathan took a deep breath.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't stand this."

"What?"

"This. What's happening between us now…"

"What do you want from me, Nate?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know. Look, I know how you feel…"

"You know how I feel?" she repeated. "No, Nathan. I don't think that you do…at all."

"Dammitt, she was my daughter, too, you know. You act like you're the only person that's hurting here. You act like you are the only one who lost Yoanna."

"It's different, Nathan."

"How so?"

"I…I don't know. It just is. You don't know how I feel. Trust me, you don't even know."

"Then why don't you tell me?"

She shook her head in the darkness.

"Why? Why are you doing this?"

"Go ahead and say it", he said quietly. "You think this is my fault."

"Nathan…"

"No, just say it. I know it's what you're thinking."

"How do you know?"

Nathan thought for a while as he played with the wedding band on his finger.

"Because", he said. "Because…that's what I'm thinking."

"Nate…"

"I'm not stupid, Meg. I'm man enough to admit what I've done. I've made a lot of mistakes."

"Like marrying me?"

He bit his lip.

"Don't say that."

"Why? It's the truth."

"I do love you. You have to know that. You have to believe me. Maybe I haven't been honest with you or even myself but it doesn't mean that I don't love you."

"Just not in the way you love her."

"I've never loved anyone like I loved Haley. I don't think I ever will. I…I can't explain it. I loved her very much. She really changed my life and when she left it really hurt. I didn't know what to do with myself. I never thought I would love again…that is until I found you."

"Then what happened?" she whispered.

"Haley", he sighed. "Haley happened. She came back and it stirred up a lot of old feelings, a lot of stuff we hadn't resolved but I thought we had. I just didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to handle it. But I never meant to hurt you and I never wanted you to hate me, Meg. Can't you understand that?"

She ran her fingers through her hair.

"In a way…yeah. Especially about the not knowing what to do or how to feel part. That's exactly how I felt right before we were supposed to get married. I was so scared, so unsure. I almost didn't show up."

"Why did you?"

"Because I love you. And because I was foolish enough and hopeful enough to think for a second that it could work and that you would love me just like you loved her."

"Don't do that. Megan, don't ever compare yourself to her or put yourself down. It's not like that. It's not because she was better or you were worse or anything like that. And it wasn't foolish thinking it could work. I thought it could too. I wanted it too, even. I'm sorry it didn't. And I'm sorry I cheated on you in the Dominican…and I'm sorry about the way I treated you…and I'm sorry about Yoanna."

A tear slid down her cheek.

"I can't even react to that like a normal human being. I can't cry because of the things you've done. I can't be angry because you were unfaithful. My body and my heart and my mind won't even let me process that normal train of thought. God, I'm so numb emotionally. All I can do now is think about our daughter", she sniffed. "I loved her so much, Nathan. I love her now. All I wanted was to be that little girl's mom. This is so hard and so unfair and the pain is unbearable. I know I'm supposed to grieve and deal with this and move on but I don't think I know how to do that."

"We lost Yoanna. There is nothing we can do to change that. Nothing will bring her back. But have I lost you, too?"

"Nathan…"

"Just say something…please. Even if you hate me and you think I'm a bastard."

Megan stared across the dark room.

"You know what my mother said to me? The other day she called and I was crying and you know what she said to me? She says, 'Honey, bad things happen to good people all the time that we can't help. We just have to move on and forget it ever happened. God will look out for us. Everything happens for a reason'."

"Meg…"

"I was stunned. I couldn't believe it. You know, the funny thing is, a few years ago those words would have brought me comfort. But now…now they only piss me off. I can't move on and forget. She was a real person and she was my daughter. And on one hand I'm supposed to have faith that God will watch over her but on the other hand, a huge part of me is so angry with God right now. He let this happen, all of this happened to us and for what? Nathan, I have never felt like this before. I've never not had faith."

"My faith is a little shaky too. And as far as your mother? She's just as crazy as my dad. I'm sorry I didn't protect you from them earlier like I should have. It might sound weak but I did the best I could, Megan, even though I know my best wasn't good enough."

"I'm not like her", Megan continued. "I don't know that things happen for a reason Nathan, I just know that they happen. We're supposed to be strong but I don't know if I have any strength left."

"Yeah you do. It might not seem like it but you have a whole lot of strength left in you. You're the strongest person I know. You've had to be to put up with me and my bullshit and make it this far."

"I'm so mad, Nathan. Mad at you and at Haley and our parents. It's so much easier to just blame this all on you but I know it's my fault, too. We should never have gotten married. I knew that…just like I know I should have called for help the day O went into labor. I was praying it was a false alarm but it was stupid of me not to get to the hospital right away. Maybe they could have done something. Maybe they could have saved her."

"Beating yourself up isn't going to bring her back."

"The grief is unbearable. Our lives are such a mess…"

"I know. I know, Megan. I'm sorry. Just don't shut me out, okay? Please. Just talk to me. Say something. Say anything. I want to get through this together. I want to know how you feel."

Slowly, finally she turned to face him. Her words were barely audible and her eyes were as dead as soap.

"You want to know how I feel?" she whispered. "Fine, Nathan. I'll tell you. I wish I were dead, too."


	133. The Devil and Ms James

Haley adjusted her dark sunglasses. The harsh winter had given way to a rainy spring and April's mild temperatures. Gone were the large coats and heavy scarves she had used to cover her body in the colder months. But in a strange twist of events, the paparazzi's interest in Haley's story had waned. They had given up on the camping out outside her building. Not to say they wouldn't go crazy clicking away upon catching a glimpse of her on the street but it made it much easier for her to get out of the house. At eight months pregnant it wasn't like she was up to traveling much but it was nice to step outside for fresh air once in a while.

She and Taylor were still at odds so she had gone out alone on the cloudy mid morning. She had run some errands but her real goal was to catch up to the female vendor who sold fresh fruit from a cart a few blocks from her apartment. For some odd reason, she had awakened craving apples, plums and cherries. So she had slipped on maternity jeans and a faded, oversized hooded sweatshirt from Keith Scott's towing service. No make up, hair in a messy bun and sunglasses, she had been able to carry out her business like all the other New Yorkers.

"How are you today, sweetheart?" the older lady nodded at Haley.

Haley had been shopping at her fruit stand for years and over time the two had developed and enjoyed a casual but friendly, easygoing acquaintanceship.

"Fine", Haley nodded politely. "And you?"

"Oh I can't complain. I'm just an old lady trying to make a living here on this magnificent planet God calls earth."

Haley smiled as she thumped a cantaloupe.

"The bananas look good. I'll take a bushel. Oh and a bag of nectarines, please."

The merchant began bagging Haley's order.

"Anything else, honey?"

"Peaches, please."

The woman smiled.

"Your sister loves peaches."

Haley frowned as she remembered they were Taylor's favorite fruit.

"Okay, scrap the peaches. Plums, grapes, cherries and apples."

"Is that all?"

"I should say yes but you know I can't leave your stand without fresh lemons."

"You sure do like your lemons."

"I use them to make homemade lemonade, actually. Gosh, this place is like the Super Wal Mart of fruit stores. I love it. I feel like taking some of everything. You have whole Dill pickles?"

"But of course. Damn, sugar I should be thanking my lucky stars you got pregnant. The bigger you get, the more you buy.I could pay rent alone just off of what you buy."

Haley grinned.

"Are those fresh tomatoes?"

"You know it. Ripe for the picking, too. Should I bag them up?"

"Sure."

"And look right here…coconuts. Can I interest you, darling?"

Haley backed away. Coconuts! She hadn't seen a coconut since Santa Domingo. And she hadn't wanted to see one either. Just the very sight made her sick to her stomach. It had been the only thing around to sustain them. It had kept them from starvation. Them. Her and Nathan…

"Oh, I'm sorry", Haley apologized as she knocked over a cart that housed the oranges.

"It's okay…"

"If they're bruised, I'll gladly pay for them…"

"They are fine. But are you okay? You're shaking."

"I'm alright", Haley stammered. "I'm just such a klutz."

Haley bent down to pick up the pieces of fruit, which were rolling all over the sidewalk. A tall man with dark brown hair wearing shades, jeans and a thin jacket leaned down as well.

"Let me help you with that."

"Oh thank you…" Haley trailed off.

There was something about the man's voice. Something eerily familiar. She looked up and took a good look at him.

"What a coincidence! New York City, home to over 8 million people and just my luck on my brief visit, I run into Haley James. May I have an autograph?"

She scowled.

"What are you doing here?"

"Now, now. Is that anyway to talk to a fan?"

"How did you find me? What, did you follow me from my apartment or something?"

He shrugged.

"Yes. You being the big celebrity and all, you really should think about beefing up your security."

Haley shook her head. Of all people to run into.

"What do you want, Mr. Scott?"

"Mr. Scott", he smirked. "You always called me that. I wondered why never 'Dan' or at least 'Dad'…oh wait a minute. I almost forgot. You never had time to get on the first name basis with me because you weren't married to my son very long. The first tour bus that rolled through Tree Hill and you were the first little groupie to stop it and climb aboard."

"It wasn't like that and you know it."

"By the way, how is Chris Keller?"

"None of your business."

Dan nodded.

"My business, huh? Interesting. I've heard that from you before. As I recall, your marriage was none of my business and neither was your divorce."

"That's right."

"What about your baby, Haley?" Dan asked as he leaned in close, removing his glasses. "Is that my business?"

A smirk was planted on his lips and pure evil reflected from his eyes.

"Leave me alone", she whispered, trying to break away from the strong hold he had on her.

Subtly, as to not draw attention to them, Dan tightened his grip.

"Don't make a scene", he hissed.

"Let me go."

"Not until you hear me out."

Tears formed in Haley's eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"No, Miss James, I think the question is, what are you doing? I flew in all this way just to see where that pretty little head of yours is."

"I've never done anything to intentionally hurt you, Mr. Scott. Please. Just go away."

"How sweet. You should think about adding acting to your resume but for now save the theatrics for Broadway, sweetheart. I will gladly go away forever on the condition that you keep your mouth shut."

"What…"

"This little thing you got going with Chris Keller is working. Don't rock the boat, Haley. As long as you keep saying he is the father of your little brat, I will go away."

"I never said he was the father", Haley answered back defiantly.

Dan laughed his sinister laugh.

"Listen, kid. I don't give two shits if you said Brad Pitt is the father of your baby. Hell, it could be Big Bird and I wouldn't give a rat's ass. But don't you go getting any ideas…"

"I…I don't know what you're talking about."

"Good. Let's keep it that way. Nathan has been through a lot. His life has been ruined, thanks to you. He lost his career and his child. He and Megan are finally picking up the pieces to their relationship. I know they can be happy again. The last thing any of us needs is you and a kid lurking around the shadows trying to stir up trouble."

"Mr. Scott…"

"You'll never get your hands on my money…or Nathan's for that matter."

"Money? Are you joking me? I don't need your money or Nathan's or Chris' or anyone else's. I have my own, thank you very much. You know, I never asked anything of you and I never took what was offered. Because I didn't need it, I didn't want it and I'm not into making deals with the devil."

"Cute", he grinned. "Just remember what I said. For seven years we didn't see or hear from you. That's the only time I've seen my son truly happy. So don't get any ideas in your head whether it be from Karen or Peyton or Lifetime TV or whatever. Stick to what works. You've made Nathan suffer enough. Just because you couldn't keep your legs closed for three days gives you no right to breeze back in and turn everyone's world upside down again."

Haley felt like she might be ill as her baby kicked furiously inside her.

"Just who do you think you are? How dare you! You are a vile, inconsiderate, ruthless, selfish bully. You know, for years I've been wanting to tell you exactly what I think of you but you know what? You're not even worth it."

"What you think of me, eh? Well, let me tell you what I think of you. You're the low class, piece of trash River Rat that tricked my son into going slumming only so you could break his heart and destroy his life. Not once but twice Haley. And you call me evil? I think you've earned that title. Because everything bad that Nathan is, every mistake he's made from sabotaging his career to hurting his wife to killing his daughter is your fault…not mine. And you know it. So walk away, Haley. That's the least you can do. Just walk away with your baby."

"You have no right to mention my baby", she began to cry.

"Your baby, Chris' baby, Nathan's baby…does it really even matter? It's just one more mistake when you get down to the nitty gritty."

"How can you be so damned heartless?"

"Everything okay, darling?" the vendor asked, noticing Haley's tears and the tense body language between her and the stranger. "You need me to call someone?"

"No", she wiped at her eyes. "I, I'm fine. I was just wrapping up here…"

"Yes", Dan added with a smile. "Everything is fine. I think we're done. It was good seeing you, Miss James."

"Wish I could say the same", she muttered. "I just hope after this day, I never have to see your scheming, vicious face again."

Dan put his glasses back on as he whispered in her ear.

"That's an easy fix, honey. Just remember our little chat. You stay out of my neighborhood…and I'll stay out of yours."

With another smirk, he began walking away, finally disappearing into the crowd of other passersby. Haley was left angry, shocked and in tears.

"You sure you're okay?" the vendor asked again as Haley paid for her goods.

"Yeah…thanks."

"Who was that mean man?"

She shook her head sadly.

Just another ghost from the past."


	134. Give Me Back My Sunshine

He watched her from a short distance away. Dressed in simple khakis, a white blouse and sandals, sunglasses sat perched atop mass of blonde curls that blew freely in the spring breeze. On the outside she was pretty but it was plain to see the vibrant inner beauty that once radiated from her was long gone. She was a shell of a human being. Her laughs and smiles were contrived and short lived, her warmth and bubbliness no longer existed. She was a sad fraction of her former self.

"How is she?"

Nathan looked up at the person who had interrupted his train of thought.

"Okay, Coach", he sighed to Whitey. "If you can believe that. As bad as it looks, this is actually a good day."

"Poor thing has been through hell and back."

"I know. I'm surprised she even agreed to come today. Mom thought it was a good idea."

Whitey sighed.

"A little fresh air never hurt anybody", the old man noted as they looked out at the blue sea.

It was a Sunday morning and Nathan and Megan had joined his parents, grandparents and of course Coach Durham for a day of sailing on the Atlantic Ocean in Dan's prized boat, named The Daluna, an unusual title but taken from the first two letters of his and his sons' first names.

She had her good days and her bad days but they had been getting along better. Nathan was dealing with his own emotions of grief and guilt and somehow they were managing, taking life one day at a time. The road to complete recovery was still a long one yet they were holding on with all their might.

A few feet away, Dan and Royal laughed and joked while a slightly more subdued Deb and Mae sat quietly chatting. It was a nice day with great, warm weather and a picture perfect sky. They appeared to be a happy well to do family like many others, the pain of the recent past buried but still evident.

All the while, Nathan kept a careful eye on Megan. She stared out at the water and for a few minutes he was concerned she might jump in. But she didn't. Her feet didn't move and neither did her eyes. She just stood there, silent and focused.

Nathan sighed as he remembered the first time they had gone out on his father's boat. It was when they had first started seriously dating and Megan's parents had joined them along with Dan and Deb. Dan thrived in the chance to show off his latest expensive water toy to the Congressman and the two wives seemed to be getting along fabulously. Off in the corner, Megan and Nathan stood, arms around each other, giggling as she playfully warded off his advances as his hands were trying to creep up her shirt.

It had been a great day with two of North Carolina's most prominent families living it up and soaking up the sunshine. Then day had turned to night and it was time to bring the boat back in. But an unforecasted violent storm had come out of nowhere, fiercely rocking the boat and making it near impossible to dock. It made for an adventurous and downright scary few minutes but finally they made it to dry land.

What Nathan had remembered most was that Megan had never wavered. She must have been terrified but it never showed. She kept it together the entire time. That bravery and confidence, along with how freaking hot she looked when soaking wet, was a real turn on. He couldn't wait to get her alone and apparently, neither could she. They had barely made it to the downstairs bathroom where they were supposed to be drying off before locking the door and ripping each other's clothes off. In a heated moment of pure passion and lust, he had taken her right there on the sink with their parents just a few feet away in another room.

He smiled at the memory. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago…

"Heard anymore about basketball?" Whitey inquired.

Nathan shrugged.

"I'm out for this year. It's almost time for the playoffs anyway. We're holding out for next season. A lot of lawyers and agents and stuff are involved. I guess I'll hear something soon."

He looked away. He did miss basketball but that was the least of his worries. More pressing issues loomed. He cursed as he saw her reach in her pocket, then for a bottle of water.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing", Nathan muttered. "I just hate when she has to take those…"

He was referring to the pills. A doctor had prescribed a legal and safe dosage of medication designed to help her sleep at night as well with the persistent bouts of depression. Still he hated it. It brought back so many other crazy memories.

"I know how you must feel, son, but it's different this time."

"How so, Coach?"

Whitey took a deep breath.

"She's not your mother. Megan's not addicted."

"For now. How long will it take? How long did it take Mom?"

"Apples and oranges, Nate. Two entirely different situations. I understand your apprehension but I think this is for the best and apparently so do the doctors. If it's helping her get better…"

"Is it? I mean, what is better? Look at her. Does she look okay to you? It doesn't make her better, it just keeps her from getting any worse", Nathan sighed.

Maybe sailing was a bad idea. He was beginning to regret agreeing to go. But he loved the water and he'd always had such fun on that boat. His father had bought it when he and Lucas were still in high school, back when he and Haley were dating. It would take months and a heart attack for Dan to finally warm up to his oldest son, thus resulting in the boat's name. But for the few months it went untitled, Haley had joined her boyfriend and his parents on board.

She had been so nervous. All she wanted was to make a good impression. She and Deb were already friends and she was really falling hard for Nathan. Of course she had heard all the Dan Scott horror stories and she had to admit the man was more than a little intimidating. So she had done everything in her power to ensure the event commenced without a hitch. Haley dressed the part. She was polite to the Scott. She listened with intent interest as Nathan showed her the ropes of operating such a boat. Everything was perfect, or as perfect could be. Then _it _happened…

Haley James had never been on a boat before. She had never been seasick before. And she had tried desperately to ignore the churning in her belly and the lightness in her head as the waters moved them around. But she could no longer take it. After two hours of being ill, the pretty auburn haired tutor lost her breakfast over the side of Dan's prized boat.

Deb, concerned, had comforted her while Dan looked on with annoyance and disdain. It took everything Nathan had not to laugh. He was sorry she was sick but she looked so cute, even when she threw up. That was when he knew he was falling for her, too.

He smiled at the memory. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago. It was a lifetime ago…

"Coach, I'm gonna go check on her…"

Whitey nodded.

"Do what you have to do."

"I'll be back."

"Hey, Nathan?"

"Yeah, Coach?"

"I know it's been hard for you. All of this. I know you made a lot of mistakes. You messed up but you're trying to get it back. I commend you for that. You're a good man."

"I don't feel like one."

"You've got a ways to go but you've come along way as well", Whitey winked.

Nathan nodded and managed a small smile. There was something slightly comforting and warm about the wise old basketball coach that always touched Nathan and managed to make him feel better.

"You okay?" Nathan asked his wife.

"Yeah…it's a pretty day to be on the water."

Nathan sighed.

"You sure? I thought this would be good for you…good for us. I hope it's okay. Because we can go home if you want. I just want you to be okay."

She turned and faced her husband. For the first time in a long time, he saw a real smile.

"I know you do and I appreciate it. It's not much but the little things like this…feeling the breeze in my hair and the sun on my skin, watching the water and the sky…it feels good. It matters. I mean, it makes me a little sad knowing Yoanna will never get to experience the beauty of the world but at the same time, I'm still here. So I guess we get to experience it for her."

"I never thought of it like that…"

"Thank you, Nathan."

"For what?"

She smiled as she leaned her head back against his chest.

"For trying."


	135. Nothing Ever Goes As Planned

Haley signed her name for what seemed like the hundredth time. She had dropped by the hospital to make preparations to have her baby that was due in 11 days. It was a facility popular among Manhattan's elite where plenty of female celebrities had given birth. It was simply standard procedure for the mother to be to pre register for special accommodations such as a private room and extra security to keep overzealous fans and prying paparazzi at bay.

"Ms. James, please take this package and look over our natural childbirth options", the nursing supervisor suggested. "Perhaps you can discuss with your obstetrician or midwife about our underwater birth feature."

"Underwater birth?"

"Yes, ma'am. It's very soothing for both mother and baby. A sterile and serene environment with your choice of background music as you welcome your child into the world in an environment much what it was like inside the womb."

She smiled politely, sounding like a rehearsed infomercial as she handed the packet to Haley.

"Uh, thanks but no thanks. I'm not really into the natural childbirth thing."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Actually, I would like to schedule a C-section in advance. That way I can be totally prepared, knowing the exact time and date the baby is coming and…well, let's face it. Who am I kidding? I am terrified of childbirth, natural or not."

"Your fears are common, especially among young, first time mothers. But I assure you childbirth is a beautiful, natural thing, not to be feared. C-sections, like any surgeries, have risks and the recovery can be challenging."

Haley smiled as she signed the last document.

"Thanks but uh…I'll take my chances."

After verifying she was all set, she grabbed her bag and headed for the elevator. She nodded and smiled at the stuffy, balding man standing to her right and the teenage girl to her left as the elevator began to descend to their designated floors.

"You're Haley James", the girl grinned excitedly.

"Guilty as charged", Haley half smiled.

"God, I love you. I have all your CDs."

"Thank you."

"Can you sign this?" the girl asked hopefully, handing Haley a paper and a pen.

"Sure. Um, what's your name?"

"Make it out to Lillian, two Ls please."

"Lillian, huh?" Haley asked as she signed. "That's a pretty name."

"Thanks."

They continued their ride, the sound of a persistent and annoying drip breaking the silence. Haley stared up at the ceiling.

"Wow, it must be a leak somewhere", she observed, standing on her tiptoes looking for a water spot.

The man next to her wrinkled his nose in disgust as he scooted closer to the wall.

"It's a leak alright but it isn't coming from the ceiling."

Haley looked at him until she noticed for the first time the warm wetness between her legs. All six eyes simultaneously looked at her crotch as a trickle slid down the leg from her skirt.

"Oh my God…"

"Gross", the man muttered nervously.

"Cool!" the fan exclaimed. "Haley James' water is breaking in an elevator with me. Damn, I wish I had a camera."

Haley clutched her belly as she pushed the button for the elevator to go back up. It wasn't time. It was too soon. It was 11 days for God's sake!

"Good luck", the girl called out as Haley exited onto the floor.

She rushed over to the admin desk where a medical secretary was typing on the computer.

"Can I help you?" she didn't even look up.

"Uh, yeah…I, I think I'm in labor."

"When's your due date?"

"11 days?"

"How far apart are your contractions?"

"I don't know. I don't think I'm having any."

The woman rolled her eyes as she chomped away on a wad of gum.

"Well, what makes you think you're in labor, honey?"

Haley sheepishly pointed to the puddle forming on the floor beneath her. The woman's eyes bulged as she began calling out to various people in talk Haley had only heard on reruns of ER. Before she knew it, she was in a wheelchair headed towards the maternity ward. A nurse ushered her into a private room where she was changed into a hospital gown.

"Is all this really necessary?" Haley asked the pretty nurse named Cathy who was assisting her. "I'm not due for almost another two weeks."

"We have to prep you, Ms. James."

"Please call me Haley. And what do you mean prep?"

"Well, Haley looks like your little bundle of joy just couldn't wait."

"What? What do you mean? Am I…am in labor?"

Cathy grinned.

"Labor? More like delivery, honey. The doctor is on his way."

Haley's eyes grew wide.

"What? Are you sure? I mean, it's not time."

"You're nine centimeters dilated and I can see the head crowning. I'd say it's time."

"What?"

"Thank God you got off that elevator or else you'd be giving birth in the parking lot", Cathy said as she put on her gloves.

The physician on call joined them.

"Hello, Ms. James. I'm Dr. Mahn. Looks like we're about to have a baby", he smiled as he situated himself in front of her as Cathy put her feet up.

"Okay, okay. Wait! Everybody just stop! This is not happening. It's not supposed to be like this…is it? I mean, isn't it supposed to like, hurt or something?"

"You're one of the lucky ones", Cathy winked.

"Okay but can't you take me to the OR? I requested a C-section."

"There's no time. You'll be at a full ten centimeters in minutes and if you give me three big pushes, I guarantee this kid will be out in a flash", Dr. Mahn said.

"Anybody you want me to all, Haley?" Cathy asked.

Haley closed her eyes. This wasn't going as planned. As if anything in her life ever had…

"Yeah…"

Seconds later, Cathy was on the phone dialing the number. It rang and rang until finally a groggy female voice answered.

"Yeah?"

"Taylor James?"

Taylor opened one eye.

"If you're the IRS, FBI, NYPD, or wife of the hottie I slept with last week, then no."

"What if I'm calling from the hospital?"

"Hospital?

"Yes. My name is Cathy Denton and I am a Labor and Delivery nurse here at Columbia Medical Center. I'm here with your sister, Haley."

"Haley bub? Is she okay?"

"She's great, she's just having a baby."

"A what?"

"A baby…"

"Duh, I know that. I just thought it wouldn't be for another…"

"11 days. Yeah, Haley is still in shock over that one herself. But she asked me to give you a call. If you can, you might want to get over here as soon as possible because you're going to be a new aunt any minute."

Cathy smiled as she heard the click of the phone. She returned to the patient.

"We're at ten", the doctor announced.

"Showtime. Haley, Taylor is on her way. For now I need you to scoot your bottom down."

Haley grunted.

"Oh God, I feel like I have to push."

"Good. This won't be easy but just follow your body's signals and focus all your energy on getting this little one out. You with me?"

"Yeah…I just feel this pressure on my lower back."

"It'll be over soon. This is gonna be a quick one. I'll be your coach until your sister gets here. You remember any of your Lamaze breathing techniques?"

"I didn't go to Lamaze class."

"Okay. No problem. We'll do this together, okay? You're fine. Now, are you comfortable or do you want to lie on your side?"

"This is good."

"Okay. Tilt your pelvis, round your shoulders and put your chin to your chest when you push. When it's time, I'll count and you give it everything you have. Alright? You ready?"

"I guess…"

"On my count, push Haley. Push hard!"

It was surreal. It was all happening so fast. Haley couldn't believe it. And it wasn't near as awful as she thought it would be. The original plan was to drop by the hospital, sign some papers and get a Swiss mushroom hamburger with onions on the way home. It was simple and the soaps and talk shows would be waiting for her. Now she was about to have a baby.

Haley grunted as she pushed forcefully. It didn't hurt but it took a lot out of her. She hoped it wouldn't take too many more pushes.

"Good job, Haley."

It went on for a few more minutes. Cathy would hold her hand and shout out instructions. Haley would push hard and the doctor would do whatever doctors did when a kid was half hanging out of its mother.

"Gosh, is it out yet?" Haley panted.

"Almost."

"Almost doesn't count", she frowned.

"Push again. Hard!"

Haley did as she was told but she gasped out loud. With the exception of fear, pressure and fatigue, delivery thus far hadn't been a horror story. Haley was virtually in no pain with the exception of mild cramps every few minutes that she was told were contractions. But as she went to push again, she felt a burning sensation below.

"Ouch! Dammitt!"

"You okay?"

"Hell no! It freaking stings!"

"You're fine", Cathy nodded. "Perfectly normal. Use your abdominal and uterine muscles as a guide. Now the baby is almost out and the head is going to cause bulging of your perineum."

"What the hell is that?" Haley asked, sweaty and breathless.

"The area between your anus and vagina…"

"Oh God!"

"Now I'm gonna use a warm compress and massage the area to relax your muscles down there."

"You're gonna do what?" Haley cringed. "No! That's private and gross and just…iiieewww! I don't want you to. My pineapple will be just fine."

"Perineum", Cathy laughed. "Okay. Suit yourself. We need another push."

Haley mustered the strength but screamed out loud as she felt tremendous pressure then sharp pain as the area in question began to stretch.

"Ow! Sweet Jesus, it hurts! Okay, okay! Cathy, help! Do something to the pineapple."

"Perineum", the nurse smiled as she was already on the job.

"Whatever! Perineum, pineapple, porcupine, who gives a damn? Just make it stop! Get this goddamned thing out of me! Someone help! Please!"

"Relax your thighs, Ms. James", Dr. Mahn advised. "The head is out. Would you like a mirror to see or would you like to reach down and touch the baby's head?"

"No, thank you", she heaved sarcastically.

"Okay, Haley, no more deep breaths. I want you to pant and blow for me so we can get the shoulders out."

The doctor suctioned the mucus and fluids from the baby's nose and mouth. Haley heard the faint cry of a newborn.

"One more push, Haley. You can do it! Push! Push…"

With all her might, she gave it one last huge go. Then the cries got louder. It was over.

"Congratulations, Haley! Here's your baby! It's out! You have a gorgeous, beautiful little girl."

Haley closed her eyes as Cathy cleaned off the wrinkled, wet, squawking creature that had caused so much ruckus over the last hour. When the baby was dry and clean, she was wrapped in a blanket and placed on her mother's chest.

"Do you want to hold her?"

Haley turned her head to the side as tears spilled down her face. They were not tears of joy.

"No", she finally whispered.


	136. Pinky and the Brain

"You are officially a dumb ass! No, you have to be the biggest fucking idiot, like…ever!"

"Taylor, you can throw out all the compliments you want but you're gonna have to come better than that if you want me to sleep with you again", Chris shrugged.

"First of all…in your dreams, dude. Consider yourself lucky the first time. And second of all, don't change the subject. You are a dumb ass!"

"What?"

"I told you we had to take the C train to get down to 168th street. Everybody knows that's the train that stops on Broadway. Straight shot from Chelsea to the hospital. But no! Chris Keller insists that we take every train except the C and what happens? We end up in the Bronx! You know I hate the Bronx, I never go to the Bronx and now you have me in the Bronx, Chris."

"Relax. Don't get your thongs in a bunch!"

"Relax? How can I relax when my sister is in labor as we speak and she needs us? Are we in the delivery room helping her breathe right now? No, we're going on a scenic tour of New York. The kid is gonna be walking, talking and going to Harvard by the time we get there. And for your information, I quit wearing panties, years ago…you should know that by now, Keller."

Chris smirked as he began strumming his guitar. He idly played and sang words that came to mind just to tease and annoy her.

_Miss Taylor James,_

_One of the coolest dames,_

_I ever met._

_We used to be cool,_

_Now she thinks I'm a fool,_

_She's been yelling at me ever since we took the wrong train._

_Those fine, feisty James' sisters…Haley, Taylor, Vivian and Quinn,_

_But Taylor's just mad because she loves me and wants to fuck me…again._

Taylor slapped his head as the train stopped at their final and correct destination.

"Don't make me kill you. Now put that stupid thing up and lets get inside and find my little sister, please."

Chris strapped the guitar to his back as they made their way around the hospital. They found the nursing station on the maternity floor.

"Anybody seen Haley James?"

"You must be Taylor", a nurse smiled. "Hi. I'm Cathy. I'd recognize that voice anywhere…we spoke on the phone earlier. And you must be Chris."

"That I am, sexy. Apparently we didn't speak on the phone or I would have remembered such an angelic voice."

Taylor feigned throwing up.

"No, we didn't speak on the phone but I do have your CD. I've sang along to it a thousand times, mostly in the shower so that's makes us more intimate than a phone conversation."

"Gee, I hate to interrupt your little ER love connection here but where is my sister?" Taylor scoffed.

"Right this way", Cathy pointed with a smirk. "I'll show you guys to her room."

"Somebody's jealous", Chris whispered, teasing Taylor in her ear.

"Doubt it."

"You want me so bad, it's killing you."

"Negative", she rolled her eyes as they entered the room.

Haley's small frame was curled up lying on her side facing away from the door.

"Hey you", Taylor smiled as she rushed to her sister's side. "What's up? We came as soon as we heard. We would have been here sooner but Casanova over there, aka dumb ass has no sense of direction and actually no sense at all but whatever."

She pulled up a seat to the bedside and gasped. Chris took the words right out of her mouth.

"Dude, where's your bump?"

The bulge that had been her stomach for months was noticeably absent.

Haley did not answer as the question was answered for her when Cathy entered the room wheeling in the little baby.

"Chris, Taylor…meet your niece."

Taylor's heart melted.

"Oh my God! She's beautiful! Oh God! Chris look at her! She's so tiny and cute."

Even Chris had to smile.

"Damn, James. You really did good with this one."

Haley didn't speak as Taylor gingerly lifted the baby.

"You want to hold her? She looks just like your baby pictures, Hay."

"No", Haley shook her head.

"I can't get over how sweet she is. And she has that perfect little new baby smell. Oh man. And those eyes! She is going to be just as hot as I am when she grows up, aren't you cutie? Her eyes are so blue! Just like…" Taylor stopped mid sentence as Haley gave her the death stare. "…Just like…the sky, blue like the sky…yeah, that's it."

"Wait a minute", Chris said. "Her eyes aren't blue. Well, one of them is. The other is brown."

"That's weird", Taylor frowned. "Weird but kind of cool. Maybe it'll change."

"It's a birthmark", Haley finally spoke.

"What?"

"A birthmark. That's what the doctor says. It's permanent. That's why her eyes are two different colors."

"Cool. She's a total rock star already. What's her name, sis?"

"I didn't name her yet."

"Well, you have to name her. My beautiful niece cannot be the only kid down in the nursery without a name. I'm not having it! So you have to pick something really cool and you have to pick it now. Come on, Haley."

"I'll do it later", Haley mumbled.

"Hay! It's not laundry. It's your daughter's name. Come on!"

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Okay, fine. Just put Lillian, okay?"

"Lillian?"

"Yeah."

"Where'd you find that? I mean, I like it and all. A little old fashioned but what the hell, right? Lillian it is, I guess."

"What about a middle name?" Chris asked.

"Just Lillian", Haley whispered.

Taylor nodded.

"Okay. Um, are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"No."

"You want something to eat or…"

"I'm fine, Tay. Really. Actually, I was gonna take a nap…"

"Okay. Um, cool. You definitely deserve it after all this hard work. We'll get out of your hair and we'll be here when you wake up, okay?"

"Okay", Haley nodded.

"Anybody in particular you want me to call?"

"No", Haley said right away.

"Okay but I have to call Mom and Dad or else they will have a joint coronary. And somebody should call your publicist, little sis…"

"Okay, whatever", Haley looked away.

Taylor and Chris exchanged uneasy glances.

"Alrighty then. Keller and I are gonna go wait outside and take 'Just Lillian' back to the nursery for a while."

Haley didn't even acknowledge their exit.

"Damn", Chris mumbled when they were in the hallway.

"Chris, what's going on? I mean, I knew she was depressed and all but I figured it would all go away after the baby came. I thought when she saw her and heard her and held her that it would just all come together. Why is my little sister acting like we should have her in a padded room wearing a straight jacket?"

Chris sighed.

"Post partum depression."

"What do we do about it?"

"Talk to her doctor. Just be there for her. We'll figure something out, Taylor."

Taylor looked down at her niece.

"I hope so because Haley is being a real bitch right about now. I mean, look at this baby. She's a perfect little angel. It's like she doesn't love her. Chris, how can you not love your own baby?"

"Haley loves her…she just doesn't know it yet. But she will. Soon. I promise. Haley's gonna be alright."

Taylor nodded, a huge grin spreading across her face as the baby's eyes fluttered open again.

"She's beautiful! I'm an aunt again! How cool is that?"

"Very cool."

"You know what's uncool?"

"Besides Haley?"

"Yeah…the name Lillian."

"It's what your sister wants."

"Haley looked like a talking zombie in there. She has no idea what she wants and I have an idea…"

"Oh God", Chris rolled his eyes. "That's scary, Taylor. I've always said if you had a brain you would be dangerous. What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking I have a very beautiful, very cool niece who so does not look like a Lillian."

"What do you think she looks like?"

Taylor gave Chris a wink and a smirk.

"That's where we come in, stud. You're my loyal sidekick and it's up to us to save this poor child from a lifetime of teasing. Now what do you say?"

"I say we can't and we don't because it's totally not our place and your sister will kill us!"

"Ever stopped us before?"

Chris thought for a minute before returning Taylor's smirk.

"Nope", he grinned. "Now, I was thinking Star or Meadow or what about Plum? Haley loves to eat those things."

"Plum? I like that. Or Heaven or Miracle or Mysterious or…"

"I've got it!" Chris yelled. "Piano!"

"Or Wrecker. You know in honor of the first tour. Michelle and Jessica and Gavin would be touched."

Chris nodded as he put his arm around her.

"You know our brilliance never ceases to amaze me."

Taylor smiled.

"Yeah…I guess we do make a pretty terrific team."


	137. Isn't It Ironic?

"Tell me you love me."

Peyton smiled.

"That depends. What did you do?"

"I am only the best business partner in the world", Jules happily announced. "Guess who, after weeks of trying, mind you, finally got through to the agency that represents Jimmy Eat World?"

"No shit?"

"No shit."

"Well, in that case, I do love you and you are the greatest business partner ever", Peyton hugged her. "Good deal. I have been trying for weeks, no, months now. Calls, messages, e-mails, faxes…I had yet to speak to an actual human. I was beginning to think it was hopeless."

"Well, it's hopeless no more", Jules grinned. "Looks like they can headline Tric next month."

"Kick ass, dude! That's the best news I've heard in a long time."

"Well, I've got even better news?"

"Better than this?" Peyton grinned with a raised eyebrow. "Keep this up and I'm gonna trade Jake in for you. What's up?"

"The firm that represents their band also represents Haley."

"Haley?"

"Yeah and I got an early press release. It hasn't been announced yet but she had her baby. A little girl. 6 pounds, 10 ounces. There's the official statement. They sent it to us because they know we're friends of hers."

Peyton sighed.

"Wow. That…that's awesome news."

"It is. Well, I have to run. I'm having lunch with my equally fabulous husband. So I'll catch you back here later?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Sure. Later. Um, tell Keith I said hi."

Jules smiled, grabbing her bag as she was off leaving Peyton alone in the office. Peyton eyed the fax with the information of the birth of Haley's daughter. She stared at it, chewing nervously on a pencil until finally she could take it no more. She picked up the phone and began to dial.

"Hello?" answered the groggy voice.

"Hey you", Peyton smiled, upon hearing her friend. "What's up, Mom?"

"What?"

"I heard, you know, about the baby. Um, congratulations!"

"Thanks", Haley said flatly.

"Jamarah? I like that name. It's different. What made you come up with it?"

"Excuse me?"

"The baby's name…"

"No. Her name is Lillian."

"Yeah, her middle name. Jamarah Lillian James is what's on the press release."

"What?"

"Uh, that's what it says. Is everything okay?"

Haley sighed into the phone.

"Everything is fine. I just have to go and murder Chris and Taylor."

"Okaaayyy", Peyton laughed. "Well, I don't want to keep you from missing out on contributing to the early demise of those two. I just called to say congratulations…and to see how you're doing."

"I…I'm fine. Thanks."

"You sure? You don't sound fine."

"I am. I'm just tired."

"Okay. Well, I'll let you get back to your rest then."

"Thank you."

"Listen, I know we haven't talked in a while and stuff but…I, I think about you all the time, Haley. I miss you…and I love you. I just hope we stay in touch more. I really want to be apart of your life and little Jamarah's or Lillian or whatever you name her."

"I know", Haley sighed. "Thanks. I appreciate it. Um, I promise as soon as I feel better, we'll talk, okay?"

Peyton managed to smile.

"Okay. Definitely. Just give me a call."

Haley hung up the phone and cursed as she climbed out of bed. She walked into her living room, which was a mess. She tried to ignore the bassinet, bottles and baby clothes strewn about. Chris was on the couch rocking the baby as Taylor was eating up a TV dinner.

"What the hell are you two doing?" Haley demanded, hands on her hips.

Taylor could tell her little sister was angry.

"Making dinner and taking care of your daughter because somebody has to. Get enough beauty sleep, Princess?"

"Not funny, Tay. What is up with…her name? I thought I told you to put Lillian."

"We did", Taylor shrugged.

"Well how did my publicist get Jamarah out of Lillian?"

"Because that's what is on her birth certificate. Jamarah Lillian James. Kind of has a nice ring, doesn't it?"

"No, it doesn't! Dammitt, Taylor! And you too, Chris. Why don't you two ever listen? I told you to put Lillian. That was the name. Lillian! What's so hard about that?"

"It was kind of…boring", Taylor shrugged. "Jamarah sounded way cooler. And you know what the best part is? Her nickname is Jamma. Isn't that adorable? She already likes it when Chris plays the guitar for her. She sort of jams out. So the name totally fits. Pretty cool, huh?"

"No, Taylor. It's not cool."

Chris looked down at the baby.

"Well, if it was that big of a deal, we thought you would have said something when you saw the birth certificate?"

"What?"

"Chris is right, sis. You signed the birth certificate. Why didn't you say something then?"

Haley frowned. She hadn't even noticed. She had just scribbled her name down.

"Whatever. Look, I'm going back to bed."

"You want to take your daughter with you?"

Haley rolled her eyes.

"No, I…"

"Why not? What's the excuse today?"

"I'm tired, okay? God! And I'm not feeling well. Just…can we drop it already?"

"Fine", Taylor shook her head. "Whatever."

Haley turned to go back to her room but tripped over a stuffed animal.

"Damn! This place is a freaking pigsty! I could have broken my ankle."

"Sorry. Chris or I will clean it up later, you know, after we feed the baby and change her and bathe her and put her down for a nap and between all that find time for us to eat and get in a shower and some sleep. No problem. Just make a list of anything else you need us to do oh wicked sister."

"I can't deal with this right now…"

"Well, you better learn to deal with it. You're gonna have to sooner or later. She is your daughter, Haley. Jamma is your responsibility. Chris and I don't mind helping out but we're not her mother…and this baby needs her mother, Haley. She deserves a mother."

"I'm gonna go lie down", Haley practically whispered as Taylor just shook her head in disgust.

"Hey Haley?" Chris called out.

Haley stopped and turned around.

"What Chris?"

"Sorry if you don't like the name. Personally, I think Jamma and Jamarah are pretty cool but don't blame me. It was Taylor's final decision. Personally, I voted for Wrecker."

Haley answered by slamming her bedroom door causing both her sister and friend to giggle.

"I am exhausted", Taylor complained. "I mean, I love Jamma to death and I don't mind taking care of her but when is Haley going to snap out of this? How much longer, Keller?"

"I have no idea", he sighed. "I just know we have to be here until she does. Haley's attitude sucks right about now and so does she but we have to be here for her…and for little Jamma."

"You're right."

Taylor took a deep breath, then began to laugh.

"What's so funny over there? Taylor, this isn't exactly a laughing matter, you know?"

"I know. It's certainly not funny but I can't help but be struck by the irony of the situation."

"What irony?"

"Depression aside, Haley is being a total selfish, irresponsible, unreliable, bratty, lazy, mean spirited, ungrateful little bitch, right?"

"No objections here", Chris shrugged.

"That's the irony. See, usually that's my role. Haley is the good one and the responsible one and the reliable one. Now the roles are switched. Who knew that one day I would be the responsible one? Kind of crazy, huh?"

Chris looked and he could see what appeared to be a tear in her eye as she smiled sadly. For the few days that Jamarah had been on earth, it was Taylor who had unconditionally loved and cared for the baby's every need. He had seen a new side of her, an unselfish and sweet motherly side…and he liked it.

"No", he replied. "I don't think it's crazy at all."

She smiled at him. She knew what he was getting at.

"Thanks, Chris."

"No problem. Hey, why don't you get your nap in now? It's my shift anyway. We'll trade in a few hours. Sound cool."

She nodded as she looked at the gurgling, precious bundle in his arms.

"Yeah…sounds cool."


	138. The Proof Is In The Picture

Brooke prepared to bring in the groceries. She knew the ice cream was melting but she couldn't help but sneak a peek at her magazines. She lived for magazine day. On the bottom corner of US, was the caption: **Exclusive First Look At Haley James' New Baby Girl**

"Holy shit", Brooke whispered as she hurriedly flipped through the pages.

Her eyes scanned the article until she saw the picture of Taylor pushing a stroller. The photographer had also used a zoom lens that gave a very close shot of the little girls' face. Brooke's mouth opened wide.

"Okay, okay. Calm down, Davis", Brooke pep talked herself as she tried to breathe.

She and Lucas were in Charlotte for a visit. Nathan and Megan had gone out for a walk and she had left her boyfriend vegging on the sofa when she had driven to the market a half hour before. Folding the magazine and stuffing it down her shirt, she grabbed the bags and bolted in the house. She sat them down on the kitchen counter and hurried to find Lucas.

"Broody, where are you? We so need to talk and I mean, 911 emergency…"

She stopped short as she saw Megan and Nathan had returned early. They were sitting with Lucas and all three were staring at her.

"What's up, babe?"

"Oh, I, um…I, I, uh…I just wanted to tell you that I…I love you very, very much, Lucas Eugene Scott."

Lucas smiled.

"Okay. Well, I love you, too, Brooke Elizabeth Davis."

"Great! Now that that's been established…"

"Brooke, are you okay?" Megan asked.

"Huh?"

"Are you alright? You're all hunched over holding your chest."

"I'm fine", she lied, praying the magazine wouldn't fall to the floor.

"You sure? Your face is a little red."

"Oh. Um, actually, you see, I have this, this…this thing."

"Thing?"

"Yeah…a thing. And I uh, need help with it, like daily. It's kind of a personal, sexual thing. Lucas has to rub my chest, don't you, babe?"

"What?" Lucas asked.

Brooke narrowed her eyes.

"You know, Luke…the thing!"

"Um, okay…oh yeah, the sex, personal thing. Sorry, Brooke. Is it that time of day already?"

"It is. Don't tell me you forgot."

"I did. I'm a bad boyfriend. Sorry, honey. Nate, Meg, if you'll excuse us, um, I'm gonna go in the guest bedroom and help my girl take care of her thing."

Megan smiled at her husband.

"Go right ahead, Luke. Don't let Nathan and I stop you guys from the…thing."

Brooke grabbed Lucas' hand and they scurried off.

"Those two are so weird", Megan smiled.

"Tell me about it", Nathan rolled his eyes.

After dragging Lucas to the bedroom, Brooke shut and locked the door.

"Okay. Either you're incredibly horny or the Carolina heat is getting to you. What's up, Brooke? Are you okay? I mean, there isn't really a 'thing' is there?"

Brooke rolled her eyes. Men could be so dense.

"Broody, work with me here! Quit acting like you just hopped off the turnip truck. We have a serious problem and I couldn't tell you back there because I didn't want to say it in front of Nathan and Megan."

"Alright. What's going on?"

She wriggled and raised her top to retrieve the magazine.

"Oh hell yeah", he licked his lips. "I'm digging the 'thing' so far."

"Oh shut up", she tossed it at him. "Page 96. Read! Now!"

"You and your mags", Lucas rolled his eyes as he turned the pages. "Oh my God!"

"Yeah!"

"Haley's baby…"

"Yeah and not just the fact that she had her baby. Lucas, take a good look at the baby. Tell me what you see."

Lucas was almost speechless.

"I…I see Deb's forehead and Dan's nose and my lips and Keith's cheekbones and…"

"And Nathan's eyes or eye, whatever is up with that but exactly."

"Oh my God!"

"We've established that already, sweetie."

"Brooke, do you know what this means? Damn, I mean what other proof do we need? This…this is a smoking gun. That, it has to be Nathan's baby."

"Duh! It looks like he spit her out of his mouth."

"Why would Hales lie to me?" he asked out loud.

"Technically, she didn't. She just didn't volunteer information. It was the bison that lied to you."

"Coyote, babe. Taylor is a coyote."

"Same difference", Brooke shrugged. "Now what are we going to do?"

"Nathan needs to know. He has to see this."

"Yes, he does and the sooner the better but how can we show him this without Megan knowing? And we can't let her see it. Look what she's been through and she had a few screws loose before Yoanna so can you imagine what this will do?"

"Yeah…it'll send her over the edge."

"And can you blame her?"

"No, I can't", he sighed. "Brooke, damn. What are we gonna do?"

"We have to tell him. We have to, babe."

"How?"

She thought for a minute.

"Okay. I will distract Megan and you get him alone."

"Alright."

"Here", she said, stuffing the US down his pants.

"Ouch! Hey Brooke! What are you doing?"

"Putting it in your pants, hel-lo! You can't just go strolling out there with it in your hands! Subtly, Luke, that's the key. Gosh, have I not taught you anything?"

"Sorry, it's just that uh…I don't think there's room for anything else down there", he winked.

Brooke grinned saucily.

"Bad boy, you. You really know how to turn a girl on."

"You always turn me on", he kissed her.

"Babe, we can't right now", she pulled away. "I promise hot, steamy, passionate, mind blowing sex later."

"But you got me all hot and bothered and ready. How am I supposed to tell my not so little buddy here to go away?"

"Gee, I don't know by telling him you have to tell your brother that his ex wife just gave birth to his child?"

Lucas looked at his pants.

"Okay, that was one way to get rid of him in a hurry", he sighed. "No use in prolonging the pain, I guess."

They took deep breaths before joining Megan and Nathan again.

"Is your thing all taken care of?" Megan asked.

"What? Oh yeah. I'm as good as new", Brooke smiled nervously trying to think of an excuse to drag Meg away.

"That was quick but I'm glad you're back. I have an idea. I was thinking about maybe going out to the pool. It's such a nice day and…"

"Pool? Excellent idea, Meg! You are brilliant! Pool, I am so there!"

"Okay", Meg shrugged. "Um, let's change into our suits and I'll meet you out there."

The women put on swimsuits as the men half heartedly played a video game. Once the women were in the water, Lucas knew it was time to make his move.

"Nate, we have to talk, man."

"Okay but before you ask, I am not helping you with your 'thing' so don't even ask, brother."

"No, man, I'm serious. There is something I have to show you."

"Dude…" Nathan cringed as his brother began tugging something out of his pants.

Without further ado, he gave him the magazine already turned to the correct page.

"Read it, man and look at the pictures."

Nathan did so calmly. Then he handed it back to Lucas.

"Okay."

"Okay? Is that all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Dude! Come on. Look at her. Who does she look like?"

Nathan shrugged.

"Like her mother."

"Fine but who else?"

"I don't know. She looks like Haley and thank God for that one. She got lucky missing out on the Keller genes."

"Nathan…"

"What?"

Lucas closed his eyes.

"Don't do this, man. Don't act like Dad."

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Look at Haley's baby. Look at her features. She's a Scott, Nate and you know it."

Nathan nodded and smirked.

"Okay, if you say so but good luck explaining it to Brooke."

"Brooke?"

"Yeah because if she's a Scott, then she must be yours man because I know what you're getting at and trust me, it's not going down like that."

"Nate…"

"I'm going out to the pool, Luke, to be with my wife. I guess I'll see you out there."

"Nathan!"

"But if you come, don't come with your do gooder, detective bullshit. Put that magazine away and I don't want to see it anymore. You got me?"

"But…"

"You got me, Lucas?"

Lucas looked away and took a deep breath. He couldn't believe what he had seen. And he couldn't believe his little brother's reaction. And why had Taylor lied to him? Why hadn't Haley been honest? And what was he supposed to do with it all, if anything?

"Yeah, man. Sorry I brought it up. I got you."


	139. Mockingbird

**_Autjor's Note: Gosh, I need to start a blog so I'll have another forum to rant on but for now can I just share this morning's disappointment with you guys? I had been in talks with an attorney/literary agent here in D.C. about publishing original material. I talked to her this morning upon reading that now is the time that literary agents pitch to the WB and particularly Mark Schwahn about writing for the show for the next season.BUT : ( the agent I talked to won't do television properties. So yet another disappointment/setback. Oh well. I still have my crowded little office. And my evil, balding, incompetent boss. And more importantly, I have YOU GUYS! Oh well..._**

**_Oh...original lyrics in the chapter written by Eminem and can be found on his brilliant "Encore" CD. I just changed them around so please no one sue because as always, if you do, good luck standing in line behind Visa, Master Card, and American Express trying to collect..._**

Haley buried her head in the pillow but it was of no use. The crying didn't stop. It never stopped. It just got louder and louder.

"Haley, I know you're not deaf", Taylor huffed, barging into her sister's room without even bothering to knock. "I know you hear that! Hell, the whole world can hear that."

Haley remained submerged underneath her covers.

"Tay, what do you want me to do about it?"

Taylor laughed sarcastically.

"Are you kidding me? For starters you could get off your ass and come see about your daughter."

"I…I don't know what she wants."

"I have an idea. Let me spell it out for you. She has been bathed and changed and fed and burped. I have been walking the floor with her non stop and singing to her but it isn't helping. Maybe she wants her mother."

"Taylor, I can't. I…"

"Oh no you don't. Don't start. I'm sick of your excuses. Your excuses have excuses. I'm done, Hay. I love my niece and I have been there for her and I've tried to be here for you but I can't take it anymore. I need a break. I can't do everything while you sulk away in bed. It's not right. Chris and I have been Jamma's surrogate parents ever since she was born, hoping that you would get over your little tantrum and eventually start being a mom. But it ain't happening and frankly I'm tired of waiting. And it seems the more time I give you to get your shit together, the more time you make excuse after excuse so you don't have to be a mother."

"You don't understand…"

Taylor was furious!

"No, little sis, you don't understand…but you're about to!"

Taylor yanked the blanket and sheets off of Haley.

"What are you doing?"

"What I should have done a long time ago. Now move! Get your ass up!"

"No…"

"Haley!"

"Taylor, stop it!"

When the younger woman refused to budge, Taylor climbed on the bed and wrapped her arms around her, bear hug style. Haley fought, causing them both to tumble to the ground.

"Get up, bitch!"

Taylor had her in a half nelson, half headlock, dragging her across the room.

"Ouch! Get off me, Taylor! You're crazy!"

Kicking and screaming, Haley was pulled by her clothes and hair to the living room where Jamma was crying from the bassinet.

"That is your daughter! She's yours, Hay. Look at her! You carried her for nine months and you gave birth to her. I said, look at her! She's just a little baby and she's your baby. She needs you! Doesn't that mean anything to you? Don't you feel anything for her?"

"Taylor…"

"Pick her up."

"No."

"Pick her up, Haley!"

"No!"

"Why not?"

Haley burst into tears.

"Because I can't, okay? I don't know why, I just can't, Taylor!"

She fled to her room and slammed and locked the door leaving her frustrated sister and screaming child. Taylor sighed as she picked up the baby and cradled her in her arms.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's alright. I know you want your mommy. But Auntie Tay is here and it's going to be okay."

Jamma apparently was not convinced. The little girl screamed louder and a few feet away behind closed doors, Haley cowered on the floor. Shaking, she picked up the phone and dialed. It rang and rang.

"Please pick up", she prayed out loud. "Please be there…"

"Hello?" came the breathless answer right before the call would have gone to voicemail.

"Hey…it…it's me."

"Haley? Is that you?"

"Yeah…"

"Are you okay? You sound funny. Are you crying?"

Haley wiped her tears and took a deep breath.

"I…I'm sorry to call and bug you but I didn't know who else to call. I didn't know what else to do. I…I don't have anybody…"

"Okay. It's okay. Just calm down. What happened? Tell me what's wrong?"

"I…I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm a horrible person…and a horrible mother."

"That's not true…"

"Yes, it is. I carried a baby for nine months…and I felt absolutely nothing for her. I thought it would get better but it doesn't. It just gets worse. When she was born, I couldn't even hold her. I don't want to see her or touch her. And she's been crying non stop all day. And I hate it! But I don't want to comfort her. I…I want to wrap her up and leave her on a church doorstep. And sometimes…sometimes, I want to put a pillow over her face. Not to hurt her but just to make her…stop. To make it all, everything, just…stop."

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds.

"Haley…"

"You hate me, don't you?" she sobbed. "You think I'm crazy. You think I'm evil. I don't even love my own baby. I am a heartless, selfish bitch!"

"No, you're not. I don't think that at all. I think you are scared and overwhelmed and severely depressed. It's called post partum depression, honey, and it happens unfortunately to millions of women. You need help and you need time. Now are you alone in the house with the baby right now?"

"No. Taylor's watching her."

"Good. I want you to stay in your room and try to calm down. Don't do anything stupid or rash, just promise me, okay?"

"Okay…"

"Okay, good. Hang tight and I will be there as soon as I can."

"You…you'd do that for me?"

"Of course I would. I'm here for you, Haley. I just need you to be strong until I get there, sweetie. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes", she whispered.

"Okay. I'm on my way, alright? I promise you…I'll get there."

"Hurry, Karen", Haley cried as she hung up.

In the background she could still hear Taylor trying to soothe the baby. Nothing seemed to be working and in a final act of desperation, Taylor popped in an Eminem CD. The words from a song he had written to his daughter seemed to be speaking right to Taylor. She listened to the song over and over again and realized just how much it paralleled their own lives. She changed the words around as she softly cooed them to Jamma.

_I know sometimes things may not always make sense to you right now_

_But hey, what does Auntie always tell you?_

_Straighten up little soldier_

_Stiffen up that upper lip_

_What you crying about?_

_You got me_

_Jamma, I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad_

_They got caught up trying to give you a life that they never had_

_I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh_

_I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry_

_Cause you're scared, no one's there?_

_Auntie's with you in your prayers_

_No more crying, wipe them tears_

_Auntie's here, no more nightmares_

_Wegoann pull together through it, wegonna do it_

_Jamma, Auntie's crazy, aint she?_

_Yeah but she loves you girl and you better know it_

_We're all we got in this world_

_When it spins, when it swirls_

_When it whirls, when it twirls_

_My little beautiful girl_

_Lookin' puzzled, in a daze_

_I know it's confusing you_

_Mama's always on the move, Daddy's always on the news_

_I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems_

_The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me_

_All the things growing up that Auntie had to see_

_Auntie don't want you to see but you see just as much me_

_They did not plan it to be this way, your mother and dad_

_But things have gotten so bad between them_

_I don't see them ever being together ever again_

_Like they used to be when they were teenagers_

_But then of course everything always happens for a reason_

_I guess it was never meant to be_

_But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is_

_But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep_

_Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream_

_Now hush little baby, don't you cry_

_Everything's gonna be alright_

_Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, I told ya_

_Auntie's here to hold ya through the night_

_I know mommy's not here right now and we don't know why_

_We feel how we feel inside_

_She may seem a little crazy, pretty baby_

_But I promise Haley's gonna be alright_


	140. Recifying The Carnage

Karen sighed as she read another chapter of The Purpose Driven Life. It was a book Jules had given her months before but in her super busy schedule, she'd had yet to read it. Given Haley's desperate phone call, the few hours it took to prepare to leave Tree Hill for New York and the plane ride had given her ample opportunity to catch up. She found the words inspiring and the message encouraging as she took out a marker and highlighted stuff she thought Haley might be interested in later when she was feeling better.

"You hear that?"

Karen looked up and rubbed her tired eyes.

"Taylor, I don't hear anything."

"My point exactly", the younger woman grinned. "The sweet sound of silence."

Karen returned her smile.

"You must be exhausted. Why don't you get some sleep while all is quiet for now? I've got things under control. Little Jamarah is out like a light."

"Sleep is probably what I need but an ice cold beer is what I want. I was thinking about hitting the bar. I haven't been out in ages it seems like."

"Oh to be young again", Karen laughed whimsically.

"You sure everything is okay here?"

"Everything is fine."

"Haley…"

Karen could see the worry on Taylor's face and she couldn't blame her. From the moment she had arrived at the loft, she got a firsthand glimpse of how bad things actually were. She barely recognized the sad, sullen, withdrawn young woman that used to be her bubbly, vibrant, happy Haley James. Slowly the person who was so used to holding it all together, was losing it.

But Karen was prepared. Andy had already contacted a psychiatrist friend of his in the city who specialized in treating new mothers suffering from post partum depression and lucky for them, he also happened to make house calls. Haley had been too tired to object and had spent hours talking with the doctor while Karen cleaned the apartment and bonded with a sweet little baby that looked oddly too familiar. It had been a few days since her arrival and things were getting better…slowly. At least it wasn't getting any worse.

"Your sister is okay, Taylor…or at least she's getting there."

"You think that shrink can help her?"

"I think so. What she's going through is not uncommon and it's not her fault."

"So she'll come around?"

"Eventually she'll come back to us."

"And she can be a mom to Jamma?"

Karen smiled.

"I think so."

"Good. I'm glad. Jamma's just a baby, you know? She can't help all this and she certainly didn't ask for any of it. She deserves better."

"I agree."

Taylor nodded.

"Well, I'm gonna take off for a little while. Um, my cell number is on the refrigerator door."

"Okay."

"Call me if you need me."

"Will do but I think we'll be okay."

"Alright. If Jamma wakes up and she's too fussy and won't go back to sleep, just call Chris Keller."

"Chris?"

"Yeah. He plays guitar and sings to her over the phone. For whatever reason, she seems to really dig his voice."

Karen smiled.

"Okay."

"Oh and I made bottles for the night. If you need to make new ones, just pour from the milk jar I already did because Jamma needs supplements in her formula…you know, because Haley didn't breastfeed or whatever."

"Alright."

"And…"

"Taylor, sweetie, I'm okay. It's been a while but I've done this before. I think I can manage."

She shrugged.

"Yeah, I know but it's hard. Ever since we brought her home, it's just been Chris and me and sometimes me by myself. I feel like I'm the mother sometimes. I need the break but it's hard to leave as stupid as that sounds."

"It's not stupid, Taylor. It is very mature and noble and kind of you. I know you've been through a lot with Haley and the baby these past few weeks and even during the pregnancy. You've really been there for her. I'm proud of you. You've changed a lot…you've grown up. You're a good sister and a good friend."

"Thanks", Taylor smiled. "Um, I'm gonna head out. I won't be too long. Call if you need me."

"Have a good time, honey", Karen called out as the door shut softly.

The apartment was clean and quiet with both mother and daughter sleeping soundly and safely. Karen smiled. She still couldn't get over Taylor's positive transformation. Although always a sweet girl at heart, her wild ways had created quite the reputation back in North Carolina. Although much work lie ahead, she had already began with a remarkable start, Karen thought as she got comfortable on the couch. She had no idea how long the calm would last so she decided to read a few more chapters. An hour later, her cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Karen? Hi…it's Deb."

"Hey."

"I'm sorry it's so late. I hope I didn't wake you."

"No. I was just reading. What's up? Is everything okay with the café?"

"Fine. I'm holding down the fort. I just called to see how you're doing. You left town so abruptly and not that it's any of my business but you didn't really explain why. You don't have to tell me, I just hope everything is alright with you."

Karen sighed.

"I'm fine, Deb. A friend needed me."

"Anyone I know?" Deb treaded carefully.

"You used to", Karen replied softly.

Deb knew. She'd had a gut feeling the entire time.

"It's Haley, isn't it? How is she?"

"Struggling. Trying to cope. But she's a little scrapper. Always has been. She's going to be okay."

"And…and her baby?"

Deb's voice cracked with a hint of pent up emotion.

"The baby's great. She's beautiful."

"I know. I…I saw the pictures."

The magazine pictures. The pictures that did everything but have a DNA test scream the child was in fact a Scott.

"Oh…those…"

Now it was Deb's turn to take a deep breath. Her heart pounded and she trembled, sweaty hands almost dropping the phone.

"Karen, I…I have to ask you something. I have to know."

"Deb…"

"Please. If you know, you must tell me, Karen. Is Haley's daughter my…"

Deb stopped mid sentence. She looked up to see Dan entering their bedroom.

"Deb, are you still there?"

Deb sighed.

"I…I'm here. Look, I have to go. Um, we'll chat later, okay?"

"Okay…you positive everything is okay?"

Deb watched as her husband stripped down to his boxers bringing the watered down whiskey to the bedside.

"I don't know", she breathed. "You tell me…"


	141. The Heart Won't Lie

"You want some more spaghetti?"

"Huh?" Nathan asked.

"Spaghetti. You want me to fix you another plate?" Meg repeated.

"No. No, I'm fine."

"Okay."

"Thank you, though. Dinner was good, babe."

She smiled. It had been another quiet day at home in Charlotte. The days were slowly becoming easier. Nothing would ever take away the heartbreaking loss of their child but with time, the pain became at least bearable in a sense. The actual Scott marriage was still in a state of limbo.

It was farfetched to say the couple would ever return to the giddy almost glorious state they had enjoyed when they first came together. But the hurtful road to sudden divorce seemed to be just as doubtful. Instead, they were somewhere in the middle, a marriage purgatory, if you will.

They talked, not like happily married couples should, but more like two intrigued yet scared strangers feeling a situation out as they tried to get to know one another. They slept in the same bed, but their bodies barely touched. And despite the lies, the pain, the mistrust and all the turmoil, there was still love there. There was still a bond that would tie them forever.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. It beats takeout."

He smiled.

"It was good", he kissed her forehead.

She flinched then loosened up a bit.

"Thanks", she said as she stood to clear the dishes.

"I'll do it", he volunteered as he was up before she could protest.

She joined him at the sink as together they rinsed and loaded the dishes into the dishwasher. She couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"What's so funny, you?"

"Nothing", she giggled.

He liked seeing her laugh again. It didn't happen too often. He had forgotten how pretty her face was when it lit up like that.

"Doesn't sound like nothing. Come on, Meg. Fess up. I want to laugh, too."

"It's nothing…it's just that I wish I had a camera on me right now."

"A camera?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"So I could take a picture and preserve this moment forever…Nathan Scott actually washing a dish. Who would have ever thought?"

He grinned at her.

"I have washed plenty of dishes in my lifetime, thank you very much."

"Really? When?"

"That time, uh…"

"Which time was that?" she teased.

"Um…"

"Bouting with amnesia, are we?"

"Uh…"

"Like I thought", she swatted him with the dish towel.

"Hey, that's assault, you know?"

She crinkled her eyes at him.

"Really?"

"Really."

She hit him again.

"Whoops."

"Whoops?"

"It was an accident, Nathan. I swear it."

"Accident, huh?" he grinned. "Okay. That's cool. I can dig it, Meg but, uh…I can cause accidents, too, you know."

"Is that a threat?"

"I don't know…is it?" he laughed, using the sprayer that had rinsed the dirty dishes to splash her with water.

"Nathan Daniel Scott!" she squealed.

"What?" he played innocent. "It was an accident…whoops…I promise…oh damn, there it goes again…"

And like they hadn't done in forever, they got lost in the giddy playfulness. For a few minutes the cheating and the horrible loss was temporarily forgotten as husband and wife dueled with a sink sprayer and a dishcloth. After ten minutes, they finally called a truce, soaked, grinning and out of breath.

"You suck", she licked her tongue out at him.

"Sore loser", he teased

"Look at us. Look at the floor. We're wet and it's a mess."

"Who cares?" he shrugged. "It was fun, right?"

She bit her lip.

"Yeah…I guess it was fun."

Their eyes met briefly as they stood close to each other. It was an awkward moment. Neither knew quite what to say.

"The mediator called this morning", he finally blurted out.

A marriage mediator had been called in to counsel them on their marital problems as well as their grief. It would be the final and deciding factor of whether they would make it work or get a legal separation and divorce.

"Nathan…"

"I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't know how you felt."

"I don't either…still. I'm sorry, Nathan."

"It's okay", he said softly.

"Maybe, um…I don't know. Maybe we can talk about things. I guess we need to."

"Yeah."

"Over Raisin Rum ice cream, maybe?"

She smiled to lighten the mood.

"Sounds good but…"

"But?"

"But…I ate the last of it last night. Sorry."

She grabbed the sprayer and hit him with the water one last time.

"Now you officially suck."

"I know, I know. I'll make it up to you though. How about I run down to the market and pick up a new gallon right now?"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"And uh…we'll talk after that", he said seriously.

She nodded and kissed him on the cheek as he grabbed his keys. She watched him leave their private driveway. When the coast was clear, Megan walked into the spare bedroom Lucas and Brooke had shared during their last visit. They had woken up late and therefore been in a rush to leave. In her haste, she had forgotten her favorite make up kit. But she had also forgotten something else…

Lifting up the mattress to the bed, Megan pulled out the copy of US magazine. She flipped through until she came across the pictures of Haley's baby. It was painful to look at any newborn but particularly so for the one that was a carbon copy of her near estranged husband.

In the hallway was a picture of Nathan taken the year before at one of his practices. It was a close up shot that put into perfect view his eyes, nose, mouth and other features. Sighing, Meg held the two photos to compare. She had been dreading it for months but she had to know. It was time for her eyes to confirm what her heart had known all along.


	142. A Journey Into The Heart of the Past and...

**_Author's Note: Forgot to say it earlier but thanks so much to everyone, especially BravoW, Melissa and Tiffany. You guys are way too sweet. And to Cathy who is my new best friend, lol and to Sking2 who had the best grasp on what I was trying to do with this whole Haley's depression storyline. Thanks for seeing past the character's bitchiness and lunacy to the heart of something very real and very disturbing. Thanks for understanding or at least trying to..._**

Haley emerged from the bedroom, running smack dab into her sister.

"Sorry", she mumbled.

"Whatever."

Haley rolled her eyes.

"God, Taylor, I was just trying to apologize, okay?"

"Fine…you apologized."

"I don't know what else to do, what else to say. I'm sorry. I really am. And I just wanted to thank you for helping me so much this last year, especially this last month."

"Okay."

"Taylor…"

"Haley, I heard you and I accept your apologies. That's fine. I know you've been sick but if that doctor is really helping you and you really want to apologize to someone, why don't you start with your daughter?"

"I know. Look, I…"

"I've got to go. I'm meeting some friends downtown. We'll talk later, alright?"

"Is Karen still here?" Haley asked anxiously.

Taylor shook her head.

"Yeah, she is. Don't worry, Haley bub…one more day you still get to laze in denial and have someone else take care of your responsibilities."

"That's not fair…"

"Tell me about it. Neither is life, kid. Now give my niece a kiss for me", she said as she walked out of the apartment.

As soon as the door shut, Jamma began to cry.

"There, there", Karen ran cooing from the bathroom. "Why is my little angel fussy? I'm right here…oh Haley, I didn't know you were up."

"Yeah…"

"How are you feeling today?"

"Okay…better, I guess."

"That's good to know. Um, can I get you anything? Are you hungry?"

"No…I…I'm fine."

Jamma didn't settle down in Karen's arms. She seemed to scream louder.

"Someone isn't in a good mood", Karen noted as she tried to rock the baby.

"Is…is she okay?"

Karen's eyes shined. It wasn't much but it was the most genuine interest Haley had expressed about her daughter. It was a start. It was a step.

"I think so. She's just unusually fussy today. Would you like to hold her?"

Haley recoiled. She couldn't. Not just yet.

"No, I…"

"It's okay. It's okay, Haley. Really."

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be. Listen, why don't you back to your room and rest? Jamarah and I will be fine. I'll bring you some hot tea later."

Haley nodded.

"Okay. Thanks, Karen."

She backed away slowly into the privacy and sanctity of her room. The last thing she wanted to do was rest. She had rested enough for a lifetime. Sighing, she pulled out the box that contained a compilation of journals she had kept over the years. She hadn't written in it in a long time.

In typical Haley James fashion, everything had been arranged into organized and neat little albums of remembrance. They were sorted by year. Picking one up from her freshman year of high school, she began to read a random entry.

_Dear Diary,_

_How bad does life suck? Or let me rephrase…at least my life. High school is supposed to be fun but it isn't. It's like one gigantic popularity contest…and guess who isn't popular? I guess being little, plain, boring, homely old me is still better than being one of the oft admired cheer sluts but sometimes I can't help but look at them and be a little jealous. Does that sound crazy or what? They don't have to work at a lard house making disgusting chili dogs all day. And they don't have crazy whores of an older sister named Taylor who get grounded for staying out all night at parties at, of all places, the Scott beach house. First of all, if you know my parents, you'd know you'd have to commit murder for them to ground you and second, who wants to hang out with that cocky jerk Nathan Scott and his merry band of equally arrogant morons? Oh well. At least Keith is taking Karen, Lucas and me fishing this weekend. That's something to look forward to. One bright spot in my tumultuous teenage existence…_

She smiled. She had been a bit of a drama queen even way back when, she thought as she picked up another book that been kept during the middle of junior year.

_Dear Diary,_

_Well, it happened. It finally happened and I am deliriously happy. I never thought it would actually happen but I've dreamt about it like a million times and the reality is so much better than anything I could have ever created in my mind. Nathan Scott kissed me. Yes, he finally kissed me. Let's see…I went from hating his guts to being his tutor, to being his friend, to being humiliated by him at his father's stupid party. I found out it wasn't him who showed everybody my note but the incident nevertheless has made me more cautious. I thought we just shouldn't see each other anymore but Brooke Davis of all people set us up on a "dream date". Funny thing is, it was a dream…at first. I was having a really good time and he was being so sweet. Dinner was going well until the rest of the team showed up and Nathan totally denied we were even on a date. I was so pissed off. And so hurt. Then the next morning I find him outside my house throwing rocks at a window to get my attention. Kind of romantic, huh? Would be if it had actually been my window instead of my parents but whatever. I was not gonna fall for his lame ass apologies this time but he did something so unexpected. He kissed me. A real, sweet, long, passionate and very wet kiss. And I loved it! My toes curled and the fine hairs on the back of my neck stood up and my stomach did flip flops. Then the next day (today) was school. I saw him outside surrounded by all the jocks and I smiled at him. But just when it was obvious he was only going to ignore me again, he ran up to me, looked me right in the eyes and tenderly brushed a piece of hair out of my face. I'm gushing right now! And I used to think it was so corny when girls gushed and cooed and got all sappy over guys. Now I am one of those girls…and I absolutely love it!_

Haley remembered that day like it had just happened. She'd never forget that. Ever.

_Dear Diary,_

_It's three in the morning and I can't sleep. Wish I could say the same for my husband who is snoring away right now. Husband…gosh, it still feels so weird to actually utter that. I am someone's wife, Nathan Scott's to be exact. I'm a wife before I'm a senior. How about that? But it's great and I love it. I love him. More than I thought possible. I look into those eyes or relax in those arms and I know that's where my whole future lies. He is my life partner, only lover, best friend, and father of our future children. That's a comforting thought I guess because he makes me so comfortable. Today we finally had enough money to get a phone line installed and we spent like two hours recording a cheesy message on the answering service. It ended up with two hours of amazing sex on the floor. Whoa, I guess "Tutor Girl" has come along way!_

And she had. A very long way but it was a fateful journey that had ended with her being all alone. Nathan Scott was no longer her life partner, only lover or best friend. But he was the father of her child. A child she longed to love but didn't know how…

_Dear Diary,_

_I woke up this morning and showered, brushed my teeth, got dressed and did my hair and make up. A morning like any other morning, right? Wrong! Yesterday, I did the same thing, trying to share the bathroom with my husband so neither of us would be late for class. Today, I did all that and instead had breakfast with my musical idol, Michelle Branch. She loves my voice and she wanted me on her tour…and Chris Keller made it all happen. It's unreal. I love it and I'm happy but apart me of me is still a bus ride away stuck in Tree Hill. The biggest part of me, actually. I'm making my dreams come true but at what cost? Nathan said if I left, we were done. And what did I do? I left…_

She closed her eyes as she read the words she had written so long ago.

_Dear Diary,_

_Tonight I played a sold out concert to over 45,000 screaming fans! I flew into Paris by private jet. I've traveled all over Europe! I signed 212 autographs today and yes my hand does hurt! And I had dinner with a grand shot of the Eiffel Tower in view. Sometimes, I still can't believe it. I wake up and I'm "her". My sister, Quinn, didn't believe that until we were shopping in L.A. one day. I was wearing a ball cap, dark glasses and no make up. I was minding my own business and no one was really bothering us. So I turned to Quinn and said, "Hey, do you want to see me be 'her'?" And of course she had no idea what I meant. But I just went somewhere deep inside me and turned on this inner lamp like I do when I'm onstage. And this light came on and all of a sudden I started to just glow. And the people began bombarding us on the street. Quinn was amazed but so was I. It's a powerful thing to be able to do something like that._

The interviews, the fans, the concerts…it had been a crazy and wonderful unexpected life. Closing the older book, she turned her attention to the newer one. Haley picked up a pen and let the words flow like they always did.

_Dear Diary,_

_Now I live in a whole new world, just because of the birth of an infant girl. She looks at me with eyes so bright, wanting a mother for her guiding light. But I can't be the mother they all want me to be, how can I love her, when I don't even love me? I see the question mark written all over her face, Lillian, please know you did nothing wrong…it is I that is the disgrace._

Haley closed her eyes as the crying continued. She jumped when she heard a knock on the door.

"Haley, I need to run out for a second", Karen announced.

"Okay…"

"Jamarah is sick. She needs medicine and I was going to pick it up at the pharmacy around the corner but I don't want to take her out. Haley, I need you to watch her."

"No."

"Haley…"

"I can't."

"You can't or you won't?"

"I'm sorry, Karen."

"Haley, listen to me. Honey, I know you're scared but it'll be okay. Just watch her for 15 minutes. I promise I will be right back. Please. You have to."

"Karen…"

"I have to get her medicine."

"But…"

"You'll be fine. Trust me, Haley…and trust yourself."

And then they were alone. Haley felt an anxiety attack coming on. She didn't want to be alone with the baby. She was terrified. She didn't trust herself.

She took a deep breath and tried to remember everything she had been talking about in therapy. Her fear, her anxiety, her feelings of low self worth, her guilt, her inadequacies. It would be okay. Karen would be right back.

20 minutes later the baby was still crying. It was loud, shrill and persistent. Haley had never heard anything like it. She was almost afraid to look into the bassinet.

"Please stop", she whispered. "I can't help you."

But it didn't stop. It got worse. With shaking hands, Haley gently rocked the bassinet. No use. Finally she stood and peered inside. For the first time, she didn't see this squawking alien like little creature she felt nothing for. Instead she saw a tiny, helpless, defenseless, beautiful baby. A baby crying out for love and attention. A baby crying out for its mother.

A tear slid down her cheek.

"It's okay…" she said as she moved in closer. "Don't cry."

Breathing heavily she reached in and for the first time in 6 weeks, picked up her daughter. She brought the child close to her breast, cuddling her gingerly. The child seemed to calm instantly although Haley couldn't help but notice she was burning up with fever. Her daughter was sick.

"Haley, I'm sorry I'm late, I…"

Karen stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't believe it. Haley was actually holding Jamarah.

"Haley, what are you doing?"

"We have to go to the hospital now."

"What…"

"Feel her, Karen. She's burning up."

Karen didn't know whether to be upset for the baby's health or just be happy at the remarkable progress.

"Okay. Let's go. I'll call downstairs for a private car."

"I'm gonna get dressed", Haley said.

Karen nodded.

"Haley?"

"Yeah…"

She smiled and winked, blinking back tears.

"I knew you'd come back to us."


	143. So Much For Their Happy Ending

Taylor and Chris bounded through the double doors of the ER. Her eyes darted across the room until finally she saw Karen. The woman was hunched over, her head in her hands.

"Oh my God", Taylor whispered out loud.

She then searched the room and saw her little sister coming from the room that warehoused the vending machines. She was holding a cup of coffee in her hand. She looked stunned and dazed as usual.

"Where's the baby?" Chris asked.

Taylor's eyes stung with tears. Her heart sank as she feared the worse. Feeling a deep rooted fury, she charged at Haley right there in front of everyone.

"You bitch! You stupid bitch! How could you! I hate you! Why did you do it? Why?"

Haley went crashing into the wall coffee and all.

"Hey! Taylor, stop it! What are you doing? Get off me…"

Taylor met her request with a Crystal and Alexis Carrington like slap.

"My God, Taylor", Karen grabbed her. "Get a hold of yourself! What on earth has gotten into you?"

"How could you defend her when she killed her baby? And how could you leave my helpless little niece alone with her? You know she's crazy!"

"Killed her baby?" Karen repeated. "Taylor, what are you talking about?"

Taylor was so upset she could barely speak.

"Ms. Rowe, you left a note at the apartment saying you had to take Jamma to the hospital…" Chris stepped in.

"Yes because her fever got worse."

"So she's here because of a fever?"

"Yes."

"And she's alive?" Taylor asked.

"Of course!"

"Then what is she doing here?" she pointed to Haley.

"Because I am her mother, you freaking psycho!"

Karen stepped in between the battling sisters.

"It was Haley's idea to come. The sessions with the doctor are helping. She held her baby for the first time."

Chris and Taylor looked at each other.

"Oh."

"Now who's the dumb ass, dumb ass?" Chris smirked.

She smiled at Haley.

"So you're not crazy anymore? Baby sis, that's great! Congratulations! I am so proud of you!"

"Get the hell away from me", Haley scowled when Taylor tried to hug her.

"Don't be mad! Geez, I was just concerned about Jamma."

"Go to hell, Tay!"

"Does this mean I can't live with you anymore?"

Haley rolled her eyes as she walked away.

"Karen, you deal with Dumb and Dumber over here. I am going to get a new cup of coffee after I try to clean up what was just spilled all over me. And then I'm going to check on Lillian."

Taylor plopped down beside Karen.

"Sorry about all that. I guess I overreacted and Haley gets so testy sometimes."

Karen just shook her head.

"What am I going to do with you two?"

"What? This is all your fault anyway."

"My fault?" Karen laughed.

"Uh…yeah. You didn't clarify the situation on your little post it note and when Keller and I got here you had your head down like you were crying."

"I'm not crying, Taylor, I'm just exhausted."

"Oh. No hard feelings, then?"

Karen sighed.

"No, Taylor."

"Good…can I bum a dollar then? They have those honey bun things in the machine and I just love those."

Karen was silent as she gave Taylor the buck and the girl went skipping off practically. If they weren't in the hospital with a sick baby, the situation would have been rather comical.

"So, Ms. Rowe, you really think Haley is gonna be okay?" Chris asked as he took a seat beside Karen.

"We're getting there", the woman smiled faintly. "It's a long process but this is a huge step. I think Haley is going to be just fine."

"Yeah, I hope so. I…I was really worried about her."

Karen studied the concerned solemn expression on the young man's face. Despite the arrogance and attitude she remembered years ago and the fact that most everyone blamed him for Nathan and Haley's breakup, it was more than obvious he was really a loving and caring friend. He had been there for both Haley and Jamarah.

"I know you were, Chris."

"It's hard, seeing her like that. She's been through a lot but Haley always managed to keep it together. Even when she was spazzing out, she never really lost total control, you know? I tried to be there. I always have, whether you believe it or not. I just don't know how much good I did."

"A lot I'd say. Let me tell you something I've learned over the years. Life is one big test. And there are always going to be obstacles that we have to overcome. It's not so much what you go through, but how you handle it…and how it turns out in the end. Haley's a good girl. She's had to make a lot of choices and like we all do, she has made some mistakes along the way. To err is human, they say. But she has also done a lot of things right and she's handled everything thrown at her like a champ. Maybe it's not the way we wanted or planned or expected but something tells me this little story might have a happy ending after all."

Chris nodded.

"I hope so. Haley deserves a happy ending…and so does Jamma."

"Yes, they do."

"Um, one more thing…I know I have no right to ask you but…how, how is Nathan doing? I mean, I heard about his baby and everything."

Karen's eyes widened. The last thing she expected was for Chris to ask about his chief rival. Mr. Keller was just full of surprises.

"He's coping. It's been hard on him."

"Yeah…you're looking at me right now like I have three heads or something. I guess you'd be the last person to ask about him. Look, I know you're Lucas' mom and you've been in North Carolina all this time with them so you saw things differently. I'm sure you already have your opinions and stuff but it wasn't my fault. I never wanted to hurt Haley…or Nathan either when it really comes down to it. I think he brings a lot of his problems on himself. The guy can be a dick sometimes and we weren't exactly best friends or anything but I never wished anything bad on him, especially what he's had to go through."

Karen nodded, impressed by his honesty and sincerity.

"The doctors are still with Lillian", Haley sighed, rejoining them. "I just hope she's okay."

"She will be", Karen put her arm around her. "They're probably breaking her fever as we speak. Happens all the time with babies."

"Then you think I jumped the gun bringing her here?"

"No, no. Better safe than sorry. Besides, you should have seen me with Lucas. I was a nervous nelly. Keith and I had him at the doctor for every sniffle, cough and scrape."

"I'm just really scared right now. I feel bad that I wasn't there for her before. And I can't help but think I'm not very good at this mothering thing yet."

"It takes time."

"What if I don't get it? You know, I look at my own mom and as wacky as she is, she has been a great mother and I love her. And look at you. You went through so much with Lucas. I mean, you had every reason in the world not to want or love him or keep him but you did. Even with the struggles and the sacrifices, you were always there for him and you did an amazing job. Karen, you're an incredible mother. I admire you so much. It's like you know everything."

"And you will, too. You'll learn, Haley", she smiled and hugged her.

"I am looking for a Haley James?" a doctor in scrubs came out, clipboard in hand as he looked around.

Haley readily jumped to her feet.

"That's me. I'm Haley."

"You're Jamarah's mother?"

"Lillian but yes. I'm her mother. Is she okay? Can we see her now?"

The doctor let out a huge sigh.

"Have a seat, Ms. James. We need to talk?"

Haley's heart raced.

"Talk? Talk about what?"

"Ms. James…"

"I don't want to have a seat so just tell me what's going on. Please. Is my daughter okay?"

He looked her right in the eyes.

"No", he said softly. "No, Ms. James, I'm afraid not."


	144. Denial Stops Here

"Okay, this stays strictly between us girls but boy am I glad the season is over", Brooke rolled her eyes.

"How bad could it have been?" Peyton asked.

"Don't get me wrong. I love Philadelphia. And I know basketball makes Luke happy but with everything that happened, he was so stressed out this year and besides, I get so bummed when he travels and I'm stuck home alone."

"But you're not bummed about the money, I bet", Peyton teased. "I shudder to see what your shoe closet looks like now. I mean, who has a closet in their house just for shoes?"

"It's practical, P. Sawyer", Brooke defended herself.

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Rockefeller."

"Speaking of which, would you ladies like to see the latest additions to my collection? I know you do", she squealed giddily as she ran to get her bags.

Peyton smiled and shook her head. It was full blown summer once again in Tree Hill and Lucas and Brooke were in town on an extended vacation. Nathan and Megan had joined them for the weekend at the beach house and the girls were enjoying a friendly, light hearted visit as the men had gone to the airport to pick up Karen.

"How in the world does she shop so much?" Megan asked. "Brooke is like the Energizer Bunny. Put her in a store and give her a credit card and she just keeps going and going."

Peyton giggled as Brooke returned lugging a huge almost crane like container.

"Brooke, what the hell is that?"

"Ta da! Look! Aren't these fabulous?"

The two blondes peered into the open box.

"Um, Brooke, they are really cute sandals but uh…you bought 12 pairs. 12 identical pairs", Megan observed.

"Not identical! Hel-lo! They're all different colors."

"Brooke, Brooke, Brooke", Peyton sighed.

"Oh leave me alone. You two are no fun and besides, they are Michael Kors."

The door opened and the Scott brothers returned sans Luke's mother.

"Did you guys already drop off Karen at her house?" Peyton asked.

"No", Lucas frowned. "She wasn't at the airport. She didn't get off the plane."

"That's odd, Broody", Brooke pecked his lips. "Maybe she missed her flight. Did you talk to Andy or did you try her cell?"

"Andy hasn't heard from her and her phone is going straight to voicemail."

"Well, I'm sure she'll call back soon."

There was a silence in the room. It was treading on thin ice. Although no one said it out loud, it was common knowledge among the present group that Karen was in New York visiting Haley, although the reasoning behind it still remained a secret. With Megan and Nathan around, Haley James was never a safe topic for conversation.

"Well until we hear back from Karen, I'm gonna go fire up the grill", Nathan announced. "It's a nice day for a barbecue and I'm starved. Burgers and steaks sound okay?"

"I'm in, man", Lucas sighed. "I'll help you. I'll throw some chicken on there, too. Peyton, why don't you call Jake and have him bring Jenny over?"

"Okay. I'll cut the watermelon and get the drinks and set up the table."

"And I'm all over on the salad", Megan added.

All eyes turned to Brooke.

"What?" she scoffed.

"And just what will you be doing, Miss Brooke while we are all slaving to put on this exquisite outdoor summer feast?" Peyton asked, an eyebrow raised and hands on her hips.

"I will be on the beach working on my tan, thank you very much", the sexy brunette winked as she grabbed a magazine and slipped off her shirt to reveal a skimpy bikini top and a fabulous body.

Typical Brooke, they all laughed as they went about making preparations. The brothers laughed and talked as they watched over the hamburgers, steaks and barbecue chicken. When all was done, they, joined by Jake and Jenny, headed out to the beach house's patio that overlooked the waves and began to devour the delicious spread before them.

The mood was fun and happy, two traits that had definitely been lacking among their recent get togethers. The women chatted as Brooke gave little Jenny a make up lesson, much to her parents' dismay. And the men messed around with a soccer ball as they frolicked in the sand. A few hours later, Lucas' cell phone rang.

"Broody!" Brooke called out.

"Just let it go to voice mail", he yelled. "I'm having too much fun right now with these jackholes."

"It's your mom, babe."

Lucas ran to where his phone was. He answered one ring before it went to voice mail.

"Hey, Mom. What's up…"

He walked back into the house for privacy as his friends continued what they were doing. Ten minutes later, a shell shocked Lucas returned. Everyone stopped what they were doing when they saw the look on his face.

"You okay, babe?"

"What's with Karen?" Peyton asked. "Is everything okay?"

Lucas took a deep breath.

"She um, she decided to stay on in New York for a while. Uh, Haley's baby is sick and she's helping out."

"Nothing too serious, I hope?" Peyton continued as Nathan and Megan just looked away.

"Actually it is pretty serious but uh…I didn't get any details."

No one quite knew what to say. They could only imagine what Nathan was thinking and the group couldn't even look at Megan in the eye. They hoped both Haley and her daughter would be okay. No one was looking forward to beginning the vigil again for another dying infant.

"Mom, Daddy, is Haley's baby going to be okay?" Jenny asked.

"We hope so, Jen", Jake sighed.

"I know she will."

"And how do you know that?" Peyton asked her daughter.

"Because Yoanna will watch over her", the little girl said quietly.

Everyone's eyes grew as big as saucers.

"Jenny!" Peyton exclaimed.

Nathan was stunned, as was everyone else. His wife, tears in her eyes, abruptly left the table.

"Excuse me", she whispered.

"Jen, that wasn't very nice to say. It hurt Aunt Meg's feelings", Jake told her.

"Why?" the child asked.

There was no time or way to explain to a 9 year old.

"We'll talk about it later", Peyton sighed. "Look, we're gonna get ready to go. Um, if you guys need anything…"

"We're fine", Brooke tried to smile. "Thanks for coming. It was uh…fun."

The Jagielski family left as Nathan disappeared into the house and Lucas and Brooke began clean up. They didn't speak and after a while Lucas excused himself.

"I'm gonna use the restroom", he kissed Brooke's forehead. "I'll be right back."

She nodded as he headed inside. He breathed a huge sigh of relief when he found Nathan alone in a bedroom.

"Hey dude."

"Nate, I have to talk to you."

"Lucas…"

"It's about Haley's baby."

"Look, man…"

"No, you look. I didn't want to get into it out there in front of everybody but the baby is sick. I mean, really sick."

"Luke, I don't want to hear this."

"You have to. You have to hear it. Jamarah…that's the baby's name, well Jamarah has aplastic anemia. It's a life threatening condition, Nathan. It means her blood system can't off infection and fatigue. She's only six weeks old."

"What do you want me to do, Lucas?"

"Jamarah's only hope is a bone marrow transplant. The best bet for a donor is a blood relative. Haley and her family are getting tested as we speak."

"Okay, so one of them will be a match right?"

"The odds are better than a stranger but still, it isn't too good."

"Luke…"

"You don't have to say it and I won't either but I don't think it's a ridiculous idea that I should fly up there and see if I'm a match."

Nathan stared at the floor.

"Whatever, man."

Lucas shook his head as he turned to leave.

"You know, your biggest fear was always turning into Dad but you're something far worse, Nathan", he shook his head. "Don't let this innocent little baby pay a big price for mistakes between you and Haley."

With that he left, leaving Nathan alone. But he wasn't completely alone. A few feet away in the next room, Megan stood with tear filled eyes and bated breath. The walls were thin at the beach house and she had heard everything…more than she meant to.


	145. God Hears Amen Wherever We Are

Haley wiped the tears from her eyes. Her normally pretty face was a reddened, puffy mess. She was shaking all over and whenever she stood, she had to hold onto something as to not faint. It had been a crazy 36 hours to say the least. She had gone from feeling absolutely nothing for her baby to being ready to die for her. Now she was in a hospital chapel waiting for either God or the team of doctors to work a miracle and spare her child's life.

"Please", she prayed out loud. "I know You must be so upset with me. I know I haven't been a very good mother, or person, or Christian for that matter. And I'm sorry. Really I am. And I'm not just saying that because I need a favor. I really do mean it. But You have to help me. Not me, but Lillian. I know I am not worthy of Your grace and mercy but my little girl is. She's innocent. Lillian is just a baby. She didn't do anything wrong and already she has been punished so much. It doesn't seem fair. I know that conceiving her when we did, how we did was wrong. I hope You forgave me for the lust and the adultery a long time ago. I still have a hard time pardoning myself. But just like You saved us that day, can You please…just one more time? I know I'm not supposed to make bargains, but if You do this one thing, I will do whatever…I'll be the best mother and person I can be. I promise. And if that's not good enough, and You feel like You absolutely have to take a life…then take mine. I mean it. Take my last breath, rip my heart right out of my chest right now. I don't care. Just make my daughter better. Please God, hear my prayer."

"He does."

Haley jumped as Karen sat beside her.

"Karen…"

"Didn't mean to scare you or eavesdrop."

"I came here because I didn't know where else to go."

"I imagine a lot of people come here for that reason", Karen sighed. "Have you heard anything new from the doctors?"

"Not yet. I didn't match and neither did Taylor."

"I take it Chris and I didn't either."

"No. It was a long shot anyway and I thank you guys for trying but no."

"I'm sorry, Haley."

"Yeah…me too."

"So what now?"

Haley took a deep breath.

"I called my family. Everyone can't fly right in but they all went to their local hospitals. The doctors there will call here to see if the samples match. So my brothers and my sister and my nieces and nephews and parents are all getting tested right now. And the nurses here are looking at the National Registry. For now it's a waiting game."

"Have you seen her?"

Haley shook her head.

"Taylor's in with her right now. Um, you have to put on the mask and surgical scrubs because she is so susceptible to germs right now…"

Haley's voice broke into tears as Karen hugged her.

"Haley, I know this must be hard for you. I know how much you love your daughter and I pray to God that someone out there is a match but if not…"

"Don't", she sobbed. "Please don't, Karen. I don't want to even think about losing Lillian. It's like I just found her. And I know that's selfish and it's my fault I didn't bond with her until now but I don't want something to happen to her. I couldn't live with myself."

"Haley, listen to me. You weren't being selfish before but you will be if you don't call Nathan and the Scott's right now."

"Karen…"

"I'm serious. Honey, this is serious. You have to. Jamarah could…well, she could die."

"Karen!"

"Nathan is her father, Haley. And he could be a match. Or Lucas or Royal or Mae or Keith or Dan or Deb."

"I know", she cried.

"Then you know what you have to do then."

Haley tearfully nodded.

"I'll call", she whispered.

"Good."

"Karen?"

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Will you be there with me? I'm scared. I don't think I could do it alone."

"Of course. I won't leave you, Haley. I promise."

The two women exited the chapel together. There was a private waiting room outside the ICU where Chris and Taylor had been keeping vigil.

"You okay, Haley bub?" Taylor asked.

Before she could answer, the duty nurse interrupted.

"I'm sorry, Ms. James. We just received all the data from the other hospitals where your family was tested."

"And…"

The nurse sighed.

"No matches."

Haley squeezed Karen's hand.

"Fine. Then I know what I have to do. I'm going to call Nathan."

Taylor and Chris nodded in agreement as Haley walked to the pay phone, as cell service was hard to pick up inside the hospital. The elevators were located next to the phone and Haley gasped as she saw the doors open. Lucas limped out, rubbing his sore hip.

"Luke! Oh my God! What are you doing here?"

"I called him", Karen said.

"Sit down. What happened to you? You're limping."

"I'll be okay", he hobbled to a chair. "That test was just really painful."

"Test? What test?"

"Hales, I know", Lucas finally said. "No one had to tell me but I just know, okay? They say blood relatives are the best shot for a match."

"So you flew up here for the test?"

"Yeah…Brooke is getting tested too, just in case."

Haley threw her arms around him.

"You'd do that for me?"

"Of course I would. I'd do anything for you and my niece."

She closed her eyes.

"Yeah, she is your niece."

It felt good but weird to speak the truth freely and openly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't. I'm sorry…"

"You know, I came to New York to see you one time because I thought it might be true but uh…Taylor said it wasn't. She said Chris was the father."

Haley rolled her eyes.

"I can't be mad at her. She was protecting me, I suppose or at least trying to."

"I'm so sorry, Hales."

"Lucas, does…"

Lucas sighed and closed his eyes.

"Yeah, he knows. He's never come out and said it but deep down he has to know. I think for a while he bought into all that Chris Keller crap but I showed him the picture in US. How can you deny it after that, you know? But I think he's been caught up in his own messes. Dad, the NBA, that accident with the Sanchez guy, Megan and now Yoanna."

"Yeah…I heard about their baby. That's so sad."

"It's been hard for them."

"Does he know Lillian is sick?"

"Yeah. I explained everything."

Tears filled Luke's eyes.

"But he's not coming…is he?"

"I'm sorry."

She nodded and wiped a tear away.

"What am I gonna do, Luke?"

"We'll figure something out. It's not hopeless. We'll wait for our results and if it's a negative then we'll be on the phone lines hunting down every Scott in the family tree."

"Thank you", she whispered.

He hugged her as they kept wait in the designated area. Somewhere in between worry and fatigue, she dozed off in Luke's arms, only to be awakened by more bad news. No matches. Her heart sank as hope and time began to run out.

"I'm gonna go call", she sighed. "I'll start with Keith."

Lucas nodded.

"I'll make up a list and I'll work on getting contact numbers and Brooke, Mom and I will go from there, okay?"

Haley got up and walked to phones. Her knees were wobbly and she was light headed. She needed air. Pushing the "down" button, she slipped into the elevator with her thoughts running a million miles a minute. She felt like she might break down. She wanted to but she couldn't. She had to be strong for Lillian. She had already let the little girl down enough.

The doors opened on the ground floor and Haley sucked in a breath. Head down, she walked right into the hardened torso of another human being.

"God, I am so sorry…"

She looked up and it was like a dream. Time actually stood still. She couldn't believe it. Her mouth opened and her eyes widened and she began to tremble. There was so much she wanted to say but nothing would come out. Only one word.

"Nathan…"


	146. Again

She backed into the elevator as he joined her. Their eyes never left each other but each felt it difficult to speak. There was so much tension and history between them.

"Thank you", she said so softly he barely heard her.

They ended up back on the ICU floor, mouths agape as Taylor, Chris, Karen, Lucas and Brooke watched Haley James and Nathan Scott of all people walk off the elevator together. His surprise appearance was met with hugs and relieved smiles.

"So what's the process for this?" he mumbled.

A nurse came out to explain.

"Mr. Scott, hematology will apply an anesthetic shot to your hip bone. Then a biopsy needle will be inserted in, which will draw a sample of the marrow that the lab will test to see if you're a suitable donor."

"Alright", he sighed. "Let's do it."

"You have to sign a consent form first and I have to ask you a few questions."

"Okay."

"Any known allergies to medication?"

"No."

"Tested positive for Hepatitis or HIV?"

"No."

"Currently taking any medications?"

"No."

"And are you a relation to the patient?"

Everyone held their breath, waiting for Nathan's answer to see what it would be.

"I…I'm her father", he finally replied as he signed his name to all the paperwork.

"Okay, then. Mr. Scott, take the elevator three floors down to the hematology unit and they are waiting on you."

Nathan nodded as he headed to the elevator. Lucas stopped him.

"You're a good man, Nathan Scott", he said.

He gave his older brother a knowing look before disappearing inside and following the nurse's directions. He signed in at the desk and was ushered in to a small room where he stripped down to his boxer shorts and climbed atop a cot. Blood was drawn from his arm as the assistant cleansed his hip.

"Are you ready, Mr. Scott?"

He closed his eyes.

"Go for it", he answered quietly.

As promised, a shot was administered to numb the pain. Nathan winced as he felt the discomfort and pressure of the biopsy needle sucking out the marrow of his bone. Just a small sample would determine whether or not his child might possibly live or die.

Life or death was in his hands. One daughter had already succumbed. Nathan hadn't been able to save her. If anything, he was still haunted by the fact that his actions may have contributed to her death, or at least her mother going into premature labor. This was his second chance. Redemption was calling. He hadn't been able to save one child but maybe he could save another.

"It's over, Mr. Scott. Good job."

"What now?" he asked.

"We send this to the lab and wait for results."

"How long will that take?"

"It depends. A couple of hours, usually. Could be longer."

"Okay."

"Did you provide a contact phone number for us to reach you?"

"Yeah but um, I'm gonna go upstairs and see my…the baby."

The nurse nodded as Nathan went back upstairs.

"You okay?" Haley asked as soon as she saw him.

"Yeah, just a little sore but it's cool."

"Alright."

"Uh, I'm gonna…do you mind if I see her?"

Tears filled Haley's eyes as she looked right at him.

"Of course not. I was gonna go but you go first…"

"Or we could see her together", he offered.

"Okay", she nodded hesitantly.

They signed in and changed into scrubs before entering the isolation unit. Haley held her breath as they walked to see their daughter together. She looked so tiny and helpless.

"Are those IV things hurting her?" he asked.

"No", Haley shook her head. "The doctor says she's comfortable."

The mother reached out and stroked her baby's delicate skin.

"What's up with her eyes?" Nathan stared. "Is that a birthmark?"

"Yeah."

"Pretty cool", he chuckled.

Haley smiled.

"She is so beautiful…"

"Yeah", he agreed with a nod. "She is…except for one thing."

"What?" Haley frowned.

"Her name. Lillian is okay. A little old fashioned but whatever. But Jamarah? What the hell kind of name is that? I can't believe you named my daughter, Jamarah."

They both flinched when they realized just what he had said. "My daughter". But it was the truth. The plain, obvious, bittersweet, ironic truth.

"Thank Taylor for that one."

"Taylor? I should have known."

"And Chris", Haley blurted out before she realized what she said.

Nathan's smile faded.

"That's cute, Haley."

"Nathan, I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize. I'm sure Chris is filling in just fine as the step daddy. He always did like taking over where I left off, didn't he?"

Haley closed her eyes.

"Don't do this, please. Don't start. That's not true and you know it. Look, Nathan, I don't want to fight with you, okay? I don't have the energy or the time. Besides, this isn't about us or Chris…it's about Lillian."

"Alright", he said. "Look, I think I'm gonna go…"

"Fine. Just have your cell on so the hospital can reach you."

"It is but I'm gonna stick around. I'll probably just wait out there with Lucas and Brooke."

"Okay…"

Haley watched him leave. She couldn't believe he had shown up in the first place. She couldn't believe any of it had happened at all. It was like watching it all happen in a move it someone else. Sighing, she stroked the smooth skin of her sleeping daughter's forehead.

"I love you, Lillian", she whispered. "Mommy loves you very much."

Hours later she joined the others. The small, cramped space was horribly divided. Lucas, Brooke and Nathan sat on one side while Chris, Haley and Taylor had the other side. Karen sat in the middle of the imaginary Mason Dixon line. All were worn out emotionally, mentally and physically beyond belief.

"Mr. Scott? Ms. James?"

Hearts pounding, Nathan and Haley stood as the doctor approached them. It was the moment they had been waiting for.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. There was no match. However, give us a list of other family members as well as we have personnel still searching the Registry…"

The doctor kept talking but he may as well have been speaking Polish. To Nathan and Haley is language was foreign anyway. They hadn't heard anything after "I'm sorry. There was no match." They were dejected. Their little girl was dying and neither one of them could do a damned thing about it to save her.


	147. High Tension

**_Author's Note: Thanks so much to all of you for this story breaking 2,000 reviews! I am amazed and grateful!_**

**_Also to BrennaBing who reviewed and asked what brings about the plot twists...to answer that question, one thing that gets on my nerves is predictability, especially when reading a story or watching a TV show or movie. It takes away from the fun and excitement. I love to shock you guys and even myself by taking sometimes what may first seem as an impossible or at least hard to fathom twist and somehow working it in there to juice things up. I love to surprise and shock. It's just my style._**

**_And to another reviewer who said that this story is extremely long (which it is) and that I might want to consider cutting it down and making it into a two parter because when people see that it is so long, they might not want to read it. To answer that...not gonna happen, first of all! But I do understand this is long but at the same time I feel every single chapter has been necessary for the direction and plot. This isn't your average fan fiction but this is my style. The more people that read, the better, the more that like it...great! But I will never compromise my artistic integrity or change something to "advertise" so to speak, to get people to read or like what I'm doing. It is what it is, take it or leave. Whether 10 chapters or 1,000, I hope it is the quality of the work that gets you opposed to the quantity. And if it's too long for some people, oh well... What can you do? I'm not in the habit of trying to please everyone because I leanred a long time ago, you can't._**

Haley gently stroked the smooth skin of her baby's face. The child was still sleeping and the ICU nurses had arranged for Haley to be able to hold her in the isolation room. She hummed out loud as she rocked her daughter.

"I always did like that song."

Haley looked up to see the muffled face behind the surgical mask.

"Chris, it's Mary Had A Little Lamb."

"I know but it's cool just the same. Maybe one day you and I can record the acoustic remix duet version."

She was too tired to smile.

"Chris…"

"What? You're a big rock star. You can do anything you want. And speaking of, how's my favorite little rocker?"

He cooed at Jamarah. She wasn't his daughter by nature but as far as Chris Keller was concerned biology was only a technicality. He loved the little girl. He had always loved her.

"She's hanging in there", Haley sighed. "We all are, I guess."

"Don't give up, James. It ain't over yet and this kid has a whole lot of fight left in her. I mean, look at who her mom is. You're one of the bravest, strongest women I l know."

"Then why do I feel like such a coward all the time?"

She looked at him with tears in her eyes as Chris leaned in to hug her. She relaxed her head onto his shoulder and just let him hold her. It felt good to be physically enveloped like that. Although over the years, nothing intimate had ever taken place between them, it was plenty lonely days and nights where his hugs had come to the rescue as she cried on his shoulder.

"You're not a coward, Haley. It's gonna be okay."

She sniffled and they both jumped as they heard the door open. Neither missed the steely glare of Nathan Scott.

"Nathan!" Haley exclaimed as she pulled away.

He cut his eyes at the scene before him. The mere thought of Haley and Chris all hugged up was enough to send him into a rage or at least induce vomit. It took all the self control he could muster to maintain what was left of his composure.

"I needed to talk to you…"

"Okay", she readily nodded.

"Uh, it can wait. Didn't mean to interrupt."

Sarcasm dripped from his voice as he stared hard at Chris.

"No interruption, man", Chris shrugged.

"I bet."

"It's okay", Haley stood as she kissed the baby gently and placed her down.

She nervously brushed past her friend to join her ex husband.

"Haley…"

"We were just talking, I swear."

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I don't care about that right now. I need to talk to you about finding a match for the baby…"

"Did they?" she asked quickly and hopefully.

"Not yet. Um, we're waiting for Keith and Jules' results to come in from North Carolina and my grandparents' too. My mom's brother and are parents are going to get tested, too."

"Good. What about…"

"They got tested."

Haley's eyes widened.

"Dan and Deb?"

"Yeah."

"Both of them?"

"Yeah."

Haley breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"Thank God. I know they must be so pissed but I figured your mom would. Dan, on the other hand…"

"Look, I know the guy is a world class jerk but he isn't that heartless, Haley."

"I don't know. I mean, we had a little run in a while back and…"

"What kind of run in?"

Haley shook her head.

"It's not important, okay? I don't want to talk about it. As long as they agree to get tested, then that's all I care about."

"Alright."

"Hopefully it won't take long for us to hear something back from Tree Hill."

"A couple of hours, I guess but um…my parents are here."

"In New York?"

"In this hospital. They just got in and I saw them for a minute but they went right down to be tested. It's been a while so we should be hearing something soon."

Haley couldn't believe it. It was a hard situation for anyone to get their head around. All of it. She couldn't believe her former in laws had agreed to be tested for a grandchild they may or may not have even knew they had. It had been such an ugly, tense, confusing situation. So many people had already been hurt. She knew it was a waste of time and precious energy to concentrate on any would be confrontations with Dan or Deb. First and foremost, her primary concern was Lillian.

"Okay."

"Look, Haley…"

She put her hand up to silence him.

"It's fine, Nathan. Really. And right now, I honestly don't care about your mother and father. I am only concerned with my daughter."

"Whatever, Haley…"

She shook her head.

"Oh and one more thing, if your parents aren't a match, please do me a favor and make sure they leave the hospital. I appreciate them showing up and all but if they can't help, the last thing I need is the two of them lingering around making stuff worse."

"You've got to be kidding me…"

"Oh yeah, I am because I'm in a real joking mood right now, Nathan", Haley said sarcastically. "I meant what I said."

"Whatever. I guess it doesn't matter that she is their grandchild."

"Nathan…"

"Or my child for that matter."

She closed her eyes.

"Why are you doing this? Look, I can't get into this right now with you. I won't."

"Haley's rules, huh? I see it's still real convenient as long as you're the one calling the shots."

"That's not fair."

"What is fair around here, Haley? Please tell me because I don't know anymore. And since you're the one with all the answers…"

"Nathan, stop it!"

"Fine. You don't want my parents here? That's cool. I'll make sure they leave and on their way out, maybe they can give your little boyfriend a ride because I don't want his ass here either."

"Oh that's real nice, Nathan. You haven't changed a bit. You're still that selfish jerk…"

"And what does that make you, Haley?"

Their voices were loud and their faces were flushed. A crowd was beginning to draw as Karen rushed to their sides.

"My God, what on earth is going on here? I heard you two all the way down the hall!"

"It's cool, Karen. Haley's just being the same selfish bitch she's always been…"

"Oh you're one to talk! Nathan, you…"

Karen stepped between them.

"Enough!"

"She started it!"

"He's trying to make a scene!"

"I don't care who started it or who is at fault but I'm about to finish it", Karen said angrily. "Both of you stop! Listen to yourselves! You ought to be ashamed! Your daughter is sick in the next room and you two can't behave like rational, civilized, mature adults for five minutes. You think this bickering is helping her? You think arguing is going to find a donor any quicker?"

"Karen…"

"No! I don't want to hear it! Like it or not, you two created a life together. And because of this unfortunate situation with Jamarah's health, you two now have to deal with each other so I suggest you suck it up and press on. This is absolutely ridiculous! Think about your child in there and quit thinking about yourselves for once!"

They knew she was right and they were wrong. Quietly, they hung their heads in obvious shame, following Karen back to the waiting area like scolded little puppies. Dan and Deb had joined the others and now all eyes were on Nathan and Haley. She carefully eyed her former in laws and the grandparents of her daughter. There was brief silence but Deb ran to her, hastily throwing her arms around the younger woman. Neither spoke words but the tears in their eyes said everything for them.

"Long time, no see", Dan glared at her.

He made her sick! Dan Scott had to be the most evil, vile, horrible, sorry excuse for a human being that had ever existed. It took everything in her not to rake out his eyeballs with her bare hands.

"Come on, sis", Taylor said, protectively draping an arm around her sister. "Let's get some coffee."

Haley followed her and they put some change in a machine in exchange for a full cup of lukewarm liquid with the grinds still at the bottom.

"Tay, I can't do this…"

"You'll be okay, Haley bub. Just calm down. You have enough to worry about without those two trolls lurking around. Just ignore their asses. Dan Scott is such a jerk. Hot, at least for an old man, but still a definite jerk."

Haley shook her head as she swallowed a large gulp of the otherwise disgusting drink her body had slowly become accustomed to. They made their way back to the waiting area and their small assembled group. The tension was thick enough to be sliced with a knife and Haley was doing all she could to maintain her sanity. Just when she felt like screaming at the top of her lungs and hitting something, a doctor and nurse joined them in the room.

"Ms. James? Mr. Scott?"

"Yes" they nervously answered in unison.

The doctor looked relieved.

"We have a match", he announced.


	148. If Evil Had A Face

For a brief moment, the whole world stood still. "We have a match" was the sentence and those few words made time stop ticking. After the initial shock wore off, Haley could not contain her joy. Tears filled her eyes and her hands covered her mouth as she mumbled a prayer of heartfelt thanks. It had all worked out. A donor had been found. Lillian was going to be okay.

"Who was the match?" Karen asked.

The doctor flipped through some notes.

"Mr. Daniel Scott."

The irony of the situation was not lost on the group. It could not have been scripted more dramatically than to have Dan of all people be the sole match for Nathan and Haley's baby.

"Thank God", Deb mouthed out loud.

"What happens now?" Lucas asked. "How soon can the transplant be done? How does it work?"

"Well, we'd like to begin as soon as possible. The transplant can take place as early as tomorrow afternoon. Mr. Scott, you have proved to be a viable match, however, there are still a few more tests that need to be done to prepare you for the procedure as well as tell us if your body can handle it. We have no doubt the transplant would be a success but it is standard practice to complete the necessary evaluations prior. Right away we would like to begin injecting you with protein growth factors. That will stimulate your marrow to make new white blood cells. Once we are ready, you will be taken into surgery under general anesthesia. Peripheral blood stem cells are obtained through a process called aphaeresis, which separates blood into its different components. Mr. Scott, there will be plenty of medications provided to keep you comfortable and after a 24 hour in patient hospital stay for observation, your part is done. A full recovery is expected and your body should replace the donated marrow in two to three weeks."

"And the baby?"

"Once the stem cells have been harvested, frozen and preserved from Mr. Scott's marrow, they will be injected into baby Jamarah. It's much like a blood transfusion. It won't take long for the process but it's the aftermath that is the most concern. Because of her age, we will likely keep her hospitalized for a week or so. We will need to monitor her reactions closely to see if her body accepts the new marrow. But I assure you these type procedures are performed all the time. I can't make any promises but this was her best chance. If all goes well like we hope and expect, our little patient should make a full recovery."

"Will she be in any pain?"

"The staff will do its best to ensure she is made comfortable at all times."

Everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief. It didn't seem so bad or so complicated.

"Thanks, Doc", Lucas shook his hand.

"We were just lucky to find a suitable match."

Dan cleared his throat.

"Is that common? I mean, what are the odds?" he smirked. "A donor being a non relative."

The doctor raised his eyebrow.

"The odds are always better, sir, when the donor is a blood relative, as was in this particular case with you and your granddaughter."

"Granddaughter? What hat did you pull that rabbit from?"

"Nathan Scott and Haley James are listed as the baby's parents and you are the biological father of Nathan Scott."

"I am Nathan's father but whose to say this woman's child is his?"

"Dan!" Deb admonished.

"Dan, exactly what are you saying?" Karen demanded.

"I'm just curious because paternity has not been proven. It could be Nathan's or Chris' or hell, anybody's…"

"You son of a bitch", Taylor shook her head.

"Dad, just stop it, man? Alright? She…she's my kid", Nathan said quietly.

Haley was furious.

"You know, I try to give you the benefit of the doubt, Mr. Scott and assume you're a half decent human being, or hell, at least a human being but there you go proving me wrong yet again. To answer your burning question, yes Lillian is Nathan's daughter. She is your flesh and blood grandchild. But that's irrelevant right now. It shouldn't even matter. All you need to know is that a little girl is dying and you're the only one with the ability to save her life. Whether she's your grandchild or somebody else's, the only thing you should be worrying about is trying to help out."

"I never said I wouldn't help out…Miss James", he grinned evilly.

"Okay, everyone just stop for a minute!" Lucas put his hands up. "Dad, Haley's right. The baby is Nathan's but regardless, you are the only available donor. Only you can save this baby's life. And she is a baby. A beautiful, innocent, tiny, helpless little baby. Just do the right thing. Please. Everybody put their differences aside and quit bickering."

Dan rubbed his chin and nodded as if he were contemplating his next devious move.

"I would like to have a private discussion…with just family and the doctor of course. Deb, Lucas, Nathan…and I guess you, too, Haley."

Karen looked nervous as Dan summoned the members just like they were apart of the staff at his dealership. He seemed so casual about it, like it was another day at the office discussing the latest inventory as opposed to the life or death of a child.

"Dan, what is this all about?" Deb asked frantically when they were all alone in a smaller, private room with the door closed.

"Bottom line, I want a DNA test. You can make that happen, can't you, Doc?"

The doctor looked confused.

"Of course but I'm sorry I don't see the relevance…"

"Oh it's very relevant. I need to know and I need to know now if indeed Haley James' baby was fathered by my son, Nathan."

"Dad…"

"Mr. Scott, it would be no problem to perform a paternity test, if Ms. James and your son agree to it and the results would be back in 72 hours but please. We would like to begin the transplant process immediately…"

"Dan!" Deb grabbed him. "What the hell are you trying to pull? You have done a lot of vile and despicable things over the years but this takes the cake. Now I don't want to hear another word about this paternity crap. You march your ass down to that hematology clinic and you do whatever you have to do to save that little girl's life. Do you hear me?"

"Dad", Lucas began. "Look, I know Dan Scott isn't best known for having the biggest heart. You are who you are and I get that. But you're not the evil, ruthless, sick fuck everyone thinks you are. You know that and I know that. God, over the years no one hated you more than me. But I gave you a chance after your heart attack, man. I got to know the real you. And deep down inside is a real human being who loves his family. You know that Jamarah is Nathan's daughter. Still not sure? Go into the Isolation unit and take a look at her, Dad. She's a Scott, alright, if I've ever seen one. But even if she wasn't, I know you're not going to let an innocent baby die. Don't do it. Not to me or Deb or Nathan or Haley…and not to your own conscious, man. We already lost Yoanna. There was nothing any of us could do to save her. But we can do something about this. You can."

Dan sighed as he listened to the heartfelt words of his oldest son.

"This is not a game, Dad", Nathan shook his head. "This isn't something for you to play with or use to your advantage. It's another human life. And it's my daughter. I'm not asking you to save her, I'm telling you because if you don't, I'll never forgive you. Not only will you be dead to me in spirit, you'll be dead to everyone else because if that baby dies, as God as my witness, I will kill you with my bare hands."

The younger man was eerily calm but obviously, deadly serious. Dan looked at his sons, his wife, former daughter in law, and the doctor.

"I need a moment", he cleared his throat.

Deb, guided by Lucas, tearfully walked away in disbelief while Nathan simply stared his father down, extra measure added to let him know his earlier threats were anything but idle. Only Haley remained.

"What do I have to do, Mr. Scott?" she asked softly. "You're right…in the end you always win. I know there's a catch, a stipulation, a condition. As much as I can't believe it, as much as I hate you for it, I don't have a choice, do I? Omce again, it's time to play the game by Dan Scott's rules. Fine. If that's how you want it, fine."

"My, my", Dan eyed. "I've never seen you so…compliant."

"My child's life is in your hands. You control whether or not Lillian lives or dies. I'd say the ball is pretty much in your court."

Dan nodded.

"You say that's my blood that runs through that child's veins and it is my marrow that will save her life. She's a Scott? Then she needs to be one. There is no such thing as being a 'part time Scott' even though you unsuccessfully tried to invent it."

"What are you getting at?"

"Simple. I'll have my attorneys draw up the papers in a matter of minutes. I want custody of my granddaughter."

"Are you crazy?" Haley yelled.

"What? We're the proud, loving, concerned mother all of a sudden? Gee, Haley, what brought that about? My sources tell me a week ago, you couldn't even stand to look at little Lillian or Jamarah or whatever the hell her name is."

"I was sick", she trembled. "I couldn't help it…"

"I know, I know. Post partum depression, they call it. Just another excuse for pieces of trash like you to not be a mother. Funny thing is, you should have thought about that before you slept with another woman's fiancé and started breeding like a horny St. Bernard in heat. But then again, that isn't your fault. Why, nothing is ever poor Haley's fault, now is it? How…unfortunate."

"I love Lillian."

"Then you'll do what's best for her. You'll allow me to save her life…and then let me give her a better one."

Tears streamed down Haley's cheeks.

"Over my dead body", she whispered.

Dan smirked as he turned to leave.

"Or Lillian's."


	149. Playing God

Dan Scott entered his penthouse suite in the luxurious Waldorf Hotel. He felt quite satisfied with himself. He lived to control, it was just his way. He was a man of vision and one who got what he wanted. Nothing or no one ever stood in his way. The sooner his family accepted that, the better off they all would be.

"Judging by that big grin on your face, I'd say someone is in a good mood."

The voice in the dim light startled him. He jumped a little but quickly composed himself. A wide smirk spread across his face.

"Fancy seeing you here", he commented.

"Seeing as though my whole family jumped ship and ran off to New York, I figured I'd come and see what the fuss was all about."

Dan nodded as he poured himself a drink from the bar and one for Megan as well who gladly accepted it.

"How curious of you."

"You could say that, I guess, Dan."

"Interesting. I'll say that things are definitely picking up around here, so to speak but it's nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about."

"Is that right?"

"It is. Nothing of your concern, my dear."

Megan nodded as she took a sip.

"My husband cheats on me in the Dominican Republic, in the midst of a tsunami, nonetheless, and ends up knocking up his famous ex wife. Now their child is dying. I'd say that is enough information to raise a tiny little red flag in my head."

"And how did you find all that out?"

"You're not the only one with sources, Dan."

He laughed.

"You're just full of surprises now, aren't you, Meg?"

"I don't think I'm the only one."

"Nathan made a mistake, you know. That's all Haley James has ever been, a relentless, gnawing cancer in our family. Only he was too stupid to ever see it that way."

"I think the only mistake Nathan made was not patching things up with Haley when she left him eight years ago. And marrying me…that was his second mistake.'

"Ready to throw in the towel so fast?'

She shook her head.

"That towel was thrown in a long time ago way before the fight even started. I never had a chance, Dan."

"You're a Scott by name and a Powell by birth. Two of the most prominent, successful and powerful families in the state of North Carolina. Pride, power and prestige. You're beautiful, educated and you're a society woman, Meg. You're willing to turn your back on what is rightfully yours because of a no talent, second rate pop star?"

"What is left for me to fight for? I mean, be real, Dan. Everything I had that really meant anything to me anyway is already gone. The money and the family names and the education and society and country clubs…it means nothing to me. Where has it gotten me really?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Where did it get my mother? Did you know she is a talented writer? I mean it. Poetry, short stories, novels, children's books…you name it. She did it all and was brilliant at it too. She could have been an award winning script writer. Or an acclaimed journalist. Or a celebrated author. But what is she? What is she really? I'll tell you. Nothing more than a crooked Congressman's pretty socialite wife who caters to my dad's every need and want, the highlight of her life keeping up with the other wives just like her to see who can do the most charity work or whose kids got into what school or country club. It's pathetic really. And you know why she's stuck in that life? Because she was raised to be a good little Catholic girl who would grow up to be a good little Catholic wife with no real goals or aspirations of her own except to be someone's wife or mother. Image is everything and it's so sad."

"Cry me a river", Dan laughed.

"What about Deb?"

That question wiped the smirk off of his face.

"What about her?"

"Do you think she's happy? Or do you think she dreams about what her life would have been like if you'd married Karen instead, or better yet, if she hadn't met you at all."

"Deb loves me", he shrugged. "She's happy."

"I don't think she knows what true happiness is anymore. God knows I don't. I lost myself this year. And I lost life as I know it. My daughter is dead and my husband is as good as gone."

Dan stirred his drink with his finger.

"Let me tell you a little story, Megan. When I was in high school, Karen got pregnant. And a few months later in college, guess what? Deb gets knocked up too. How do you think that was for me? An 18 year old kid with a bright future to look forward to hampered by two kids on the way. I was conflicted. A lot was at stake. I had decisions to make and it was a very scary time. But I got through it. I kept my head and it all worked out."

"Thank you for that little trip down memory lane but what does all that have to do with me?"

"Everything. Don't you see? Life is one big test. There are plenty of obstacles in the way but you can overcome it."

"Dan…"

"Listen to me. What if I told you I could give everything back to you?"

"Dan…"

"I'm serious."

"Okay. Let's say that you are. I dare to ask how…but why? Why would you do that for me?'

"Because you're the right choice for a wife for Nathan. I've always known it."

"Nathan isn't happy. He doesn't love me…or at least like he loves her."

"What does love have to do with it, Megan?"

"Everything."

"That's where you're wrong. Nothing. It has nothing to do with it."

"Maybe in your world."

"As I recall, your world was fine until Haley James sauntered back into it. Am I wrong?"

"The feelings were already there. She just awakened them. It was bound to happen sooner or later."

"You and Nathan were happy once. This is all her fault. She did this."

"Well, it doesn't matter because it's done, Dan."

"What if I gave it all back? Made it all better? What if you and Nathan could have your lives back and raise your daughter?"

"Yoanna is dead."

"That she is. And we can't bring her back but you can still be a mother, Meg."

Megan laughed bitterly.

"Yeah right. And what are you going to do, Dan? What, take Haley's baby so Nathan and I can raise her."

He shrugged with another gulp.

"Not a bad idea."

Megan's eyes bulged.

"I was being sarcastic. Tell me you're joking. Tell me you're not as twisted as I think you are."

"Nathan loves his child. You both miss yours that died. Haley is a waste of human space. Why not do her kid a favor? You'd make the better mother anyway. And this kid would have a better life. What do you say?"

"I say you're crazy."

"Megan, it's simple…"

"You're really serious, aren't you? Oh my God. That's the scary part."

"Life was cruel to you, Meg. Everything was taken away and I have the chance to give it all back to you. I can save your marriage and I can make you a mother again. I know you want it. You need it. I know you want to be happy with Nathan again and hold a baby in your arms."

"Stop it! Look, you can't play God!"

"I am God, Megan. I have the power to give you a second chance. And I am the only one who can save Haley's child. I'm the only bone marrow match."

"Then why are you here talking to me? Shouldn't you be in surgery?"

"I haven't decided yet…"

"What is there to decide? A child is dying and you can save her. Wait, don't tell me you're thinking about not…"

"Of course not. I'm not that heartless. It's not the kid's fault her mother is trash and her father is an idiot. Yes, I'm going to go through with the transplant."

"Does everyone know?"

"Not yet. But the beauty of it is, after the child is saved, Haley will hand over custody to me."

"Dream on."

"It's true."

"If she has half a brain, why would she do that?"

He smiled.

"I sort of blackmailed her into thinking that was the only way I'd do the transplant was if she signed over her parental rights."

"Dan!"

"What?" he shrugged innocently.

"Does Nathan know?"

"Of course not. He doesn't need to. And by the time you and he raise your child, and please God give her a new name by the way, it won't even matter. You'll be on with your lives and all this unnecessary heartache will be nothing more than a mere bad memory."

"Dan…"

"And don't worry that it isn't your natural child. Big deal. You and Nathan will have the rest of your lives to have more."

He was so nonchalant and he had it all figured out. How could one be so mean…and so casual about it?"

"You just don't get it, do you?"

"What?"

"This isn't TV. It's real. It's not a game. You're not some fictional villain. This is real life with real people, people you're supposed to care about. How can you do this? What about your son?"

"I'm doing this for his own good."

"Nathan's or yours? Because it sounds to me like you just want to control everything."

"Oh Meg, you're so naïve…"

"What about, Haley, Dan? Huh? Have you thought about her? She's a mother. She almost lost her child, now you're scheming to take her away for good? Haley loves that little girl. She needs her. And that child needs its mommy."

"What are you smoking?" he laughed. "And whatever it is, pass the pipe if you don't mind. Gee, Meg, I didn't know you joined the Haley James fan club. How noble and debutante of you to defend and forgive the woman who ruined your life. The woman trying to take away your life."

"Dan…"

"Don't you hate her? Come on. You can tell me the truth. You hate her, don't you?"

"Yes", Megan answered quietly. "Yes, I do."

"Then why are you so concerned?"

"Because I know what it's like to be a mother and I know what it's like to lose a child. And there is no other pain worse. It's indescribable. And it's something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy…even if it is Haley James."

"You're making a mistake."

"No, Dan. You are. Just let it go. Let them be. And this baby…give her a chance. For once in your life, do the right thing."

He smirked as he poured another glass.

"I'll think about it. I'll weigh the options. I suggest you do the same, Megan."

She shook her head as she exited the room.

"You are the most contemptible, wicked, depraved, low down excuse for a man to ever walk the earth. You don't know how to love. All you do is cause destruction and leave a trail of pain wherever you go. It's sad really. But you will pay for it, whether it be this life or the next. I'm a firm believer in karma, Dan. What goes around comes around and boy are you going to get yours. I just hope I'm around to see it."

"I doubt it, darling."

"Oh payback is a bitch and it's coming for you, Dan. And when it does, you can run but you can't hide."

He laughed.

"What should be my punishment, Meg? Should I be sent to bed without supper?" he smirked. "Oh wait…I should lose all my money…go to jail, even? What?"

"No, that would be too easy. Someone should slip something in your drink, because God knows you drink enough, and while you're foaming at the mouth and your eyes are rolling back in your head, just when you can't move, they should douse the room with gas and light a match and watch your ass burn until you look like a curly fry from Arby's. That's what you deserve, Dan."

Without another word, she turned to leave.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who is harsh, Meg. Wish we were still playing for the same team. I always knew you had it in you, kid."

She shook her head sadly.

"You don't know me, Dan. You don't know me at all. You never did."


	150. Speak With Your Heart and Not Your Mouth

Megan sat quietly on the bed in the dark. She waited alone, not knowing if he'd even show up. Not knowing what she would say when he did. And just when she was lost in a sea of endless emotion, she heard the lock click. The door opened and he appeared, clothes wrinkled and disheveled, eyes tired, face sad and scruffy from a few days minus a razor.

"Hey", she said.

He looked surprised. He should have been knocked out of his socks with pure shock to see his wife in New York in his hotel but with the way things in their lives had been going recently, stranger things had happened.

"Hey."

"I hope you don't mind. I'm sorry. I had to find you. You left so quickly…"

"I had to."

"I know", she said.

He rubbed his chin and took a seat at the foot of the bed.

"We have to talk", he began.

"I know."

"I…I haven't been honest with you."

"I know."

Nathan raised an eyebrow.

"You know?"

"She's your baby, isn't she? Haley's daughter…"

There was no more denying it, no more skirting around the issue. No more lies or sorry excuses.

"Yes."

Meg fought back tears. She knew the truth but it still hurt her just the same to hear him speak it.

"Nathan…"

"I'm sorry, Meg. I know I've said it a thousand times but I am. I'm real sorry. For everything. I have failed miserably as a husband and a father and a human being in general. You were so good. Your personality and your heart…you gave yourself to me and I messed up…bad. You never deserved any of it. I put you through so much."

"You know, a part of me hates you. It really does. I am so beyond hurt right now. This whole situation between us is unreal."

"It is but it's my fault…"

"Most of it? Yes, it is. But I can't help but admit some blame myself."

"Meg…"

"I knew."

"You knew what?"

"Everything. Gosh, I'm not stupid, Nathan. From the minute we met and every time Haley came up, I saw the love in your eyes for her."

"That was hate."

"There's a thin line between love and hate, Nathan. I saw raw emotion, a love that wouldn't lay down and die for time or anything else. That's a powerful thing you and Haley had…still have, I guess. But I didn't think she'd come back so I went on loving you, hoping you would love me back."

"I did."

"I know you did. As much as you could, at least."

"I guess it wasn't enough."

"For you or me, Nathan?"

He shook his head.

"How can you be so calm about this? I can't believe you aren't chasing me around with a machete by now."

"What good what it do? Erase all this? Bring Yoanna back? Stop our hurting? It won't do any of that, Nathan. Besides, I'm done. I'm tired. I've cried and been silent. I've yelled and tried to be Mrs. Perfect for you. There is nothing left to do."

"Meg…"

"I shouldn't have married you."

"I shouldn't have cheated."

"No, you shouldn't have but when you got back from Santa Domingo…it was written all over your face. I just chose to ignore it. I blamed it on the stress of surviving the tsunami. But it was more than that. You had so much to deal with that you never dealt with. How could you love me without facing your past first?"

"I don't know…"

"I don't know either. I don't know how or why I let it get this far. I have never been that 'pathetic woman' and I never wanted to be. But I guess I am after all."

"No, you're not."

"How can you say that? Look at what our marriage was. We weren't happy a day since we said 'I do', Nathan. Me holding onto something that wasn't there was just pathetic."

"You just wanted to be happy."

"And so did you. But I wouldn't let you. I couldn't let you go, Nate. Not when you told me you loved her, not even when you admitted you slept with her."

"Megan…"

"I knew the baby was yours. All along I knew it. Even from that very first time we saw it flash on the entertainment news. I had a gut feeling that night. But I didn't say anything. I let it go. I…I tried to pretend it away. But pretending it away didn't make it go away, now did it? I ignored it and it got worse. And now it's in my face."

"I'm so sorry you had to be involved in this. I never meant for it to be this way. I never meant to hurt you…and neither did Haley."

Megan looked away.

"I know but it doesn't matter because it hurts all the same."

"With what happened to us and Yoanna…I know this must be tough on you. You probably don't understand. Hell, I don't understand. But I have to be here…"

"I understand. She's your daughter. As much as I might want to, it isn't in me to hurt or blame an innocent baby."

"I just wish there was something I could do to make this up to you, make it better…"

"Just take care of this baby. Protect her always…from everything. Remember that. It shouldn't matter who her mother is or how she got here. She is here now and despite all of that, she if your daughter."

Nathan nodded. How right she was.

"Look, I know this isn't right and you probably don't want to and I have no right to ask but…can you stay? Just for a little while. My dad is being my dad and trying to act like he's not gonna help but I know he will. He'll come through. Until the transplant is over, I'm gonna stay in New York. I'm not expecting you to have a smile on your face or dive right in to help but I do need you. I know it sounds selfish but I hope it doesn't sound crazy. I need your friendship. I need you right now, Meg."

She looked away.

"It's not crazy at all. I've always been there for you, Nathan."

"Even when I didn't deserve it…and even when I wasn't there for you."

"I always will be. You know that."

He bit his lip and stared at the floor but it didn't stop the tears from sliding down his face. Nathan wiped them away, ashamed, frustrated and angry.

"I'm sorry…" he whispered.

"Too late for apologies now."

"I…didn't want it to be this way", he croaked.

His broad shoulders heaved as his exhausted, strong body released all the built up emotional pain.

"Come here", she beckoned.

He willingly went to her embrace, sobbing like a child as she cradled him in her arms.

"What have I done, Meg?" he kept crying. "What have I done?"

Her own silent tears fell as she held him tighter. They fell back on the bed in each other's arms, no sound except for the echo of sniffles ever so often.

"Nathan?" she finally whispered after an hour or so.

"Yeah?"

Megan took a deep breath.

"I…I just want you to know…I don't know if I've ever said it but I don't hate you. Okay? I hate what you did but I could never hate you. I don't know if that means anything but I really wanted you to know."

"It means everything to me. I hate myself sometimes, Meg. I've hurt you so much and you're still here for me when I need you. That says a lot about your character."

"I'm here for you now. For whatever you need. I can't make promises about tomorrow or next week or next month or next year, hell even two hours from now. But I'm here now."

"I know…and I love you for it."

"I know", she said softly.

He stretched as he sat up and checked the time.

"It's late", he finally spoke. "I have to get back to the hospital…"

"I know", she nodded.

He put his shoes back on. There was so much he wanted to say but it was impossible to get the words out.

"Megan…"

A single tear slid down her cheek as she cupped his handsome face in her tiny hands. She kissed his lips before pulling away.

"You don't have to say a word", she told him quietly. "Just go."


	151. On The Edge

"Delivery for Mr. Scott", a courier said as he knocked on the door of the waiting room.

Nathan stood up.

"Do you have a first name, man?" he asked. "Because I'm Nathan and my brother is Lucas and our father is Dan. Did it say which one?"

"No", the man searched around. "I'm just the delivery guy but it looks like this was intercepted by a third party. 'Mr. Scott' was the only thing, along with this address and time to drop it off. If you could just sign…"

Nathan sighed as he scrawled his signature on the block.

"Thanks."

He took the large packaged envelope and debated whether or not to open it. He wasn't expecting anything and wasn't even sure if it was for him. Shrugging, he finally unsealed the contents. In bold letters, the words **Petition for Termination of Parental Rights **immediately caught his eye. He scanned further down to the second paragraph. It read, **"I, Haley Joy James, in accordance with the above listed agreement, do hereby, being of sound mind and body, agree to terminate my parental rights concerning my birth child, Jamarah Lillian James and issue physical and legal custody, effective immediately to the child's biological paternal grandfather, Daniel Paul Scott…"**

Nathan couldn't believe it but the words were there right in front of his face written in plain English. There were several spaces designated for Haley's initials and finally a block at the end for her signature. All she had to do was sign her name and she would sign away the right to be a mother to her daughter, their daughter forever.

And to Dan Scott of all people. Nathan knew Haley and his father despised one another. Dan had even made that big production following finding out that he was the donor match. Why would Haley give up her baby at all? And to Dan? Why would anyone give Dan their child? The man wasn't fit to take care of a house plant?

The waiting area was empty as their friends and family had gone off to their respective homes and hotels for quick showers, naps, and decent food. Nathan stormed through the small space with fury in his eyes.

"Have you seen Haley?" he asked the first nurse in view.

"I think she went to the rest room, Mr. Scott…"

"Thanks", Nathan mumbled as he barged right in.

"Mr. Scott, that is the women's bathroom! Sir, you can't go in there…"

Her pleas fell on deaf ears as Nathan stormed in and found Haley at the sink washing her hands.

"Nathan, what are you doing?"

"I think the question is, what are you doing?" he retorted, slamming the papers down on the counter.

Haley, heart sinking, closed her eyes as she saw what he was giving her.

"How…how did you get those?"

"Does it matter?"

"Nathan…"

"What's going on, Haley?"

"Look…"

"Don't bullshit me. Something is going on. My dad is up to something and I have a feeling you know what it is so you better start talking."

"Those are custody papers", she said in a quiet voice.

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"No shit, Sherlock. What is he doing with them and why is your name on them?"

"Maybe you should be asking your father that", she tried to brush past him.

Nathan grabbed her arm.

"I'm asking you."

"Fine", she sighed. "His lawyers drew up those papers for me to sign over custody of Lillian to Dan."

"And you were gonna go through with it?"

"Yes…no, look, I don't know. Maybe. It's complicated, Nathan."

"Then why don't you make it uncomplicated for me, Haley? What the hell is going on?"

"Nathan…"

"No, why would you even consider something like that?"

"I…"

"Does he have something over you?"

Her eyes began to tear.

"I can't tell you", she whispered.

"The hell you can't. What did he do?"

"I have to, Nathan. What, you think I like making deals with the devil himself? You think I want Lillian raised by that monster?"

"No, I don't. I know you, Haley and I know you wouldn't do something like that. I also know my dad and he's capable of almost anything."

She took a deep breath.

"He…he wants Lillian. Dan wants full custody and he wants me totally out of the picture. He told me I had to sign the papers or…or, or else…"

"Or else what?"

"Or else he wouldn't go through with the transplant."

"What?"

"I had to, Nathan! Okay? I had to give him what he wants right now or else my daughter could die! I don't want to sign but what else can I do? I figure if I just do it, then after the transplant and after Lillian is all better, I can fight him and…"

Nathan didn't wait for the rest of her explanation. It didn't matter. He had heard all he needed to hear and he knew what he had to do. He left the hospital and hailed a taxi immediately back to the hotel. Blind rage alone led him up the elevator to the floor past his where his parents were staying. Getting off the elevator, he banged hard on the door. Dan answered almost right away.

"Son…"

"Is Mom here?"

"No, your mother stepped out…"

"Good because she doesn't need to see what I'm about to do to you!"

"What?"

In a single motion, Nathan thrust the documents at his father and grabbed a knife from a nearby table that had been brought up with room service. He kneed his father in the stomach and pushed him roughly against the wall.

"What the hell are you doing, man? Blackmailing Haley…"

"I don't know what that little witch told you…"

"She told me everything and I saw the goddamned papers! Are you nuts, man?"

"I was doing this for you, for us."

"Are you nuts?"

"We're not just a family, Nate, we are a dynasty! Haven't you learned anything over the years? Did I not teach you anything? Money and power rule the world. Somewhere along the way you got soft on me when you started caring about all this love nonsense. But love is beside the point. Megan is your wife! She is the perfect wife for you. I recall you felt that same way until Haley decided to come back and ruin everything. Don't you see? Haley is poison! She isn't right for you! She never has been. All that girl has ever done is hurt you and complicate your life. Marrying her was a mistake. Getting her pregnant was another mistake but it's done now. But like it or not, that baby is a Scott by blood. There's hope for her yet. You and Megan lost Yoanna and I'm truly sorry for that. I lost her too, son but we have to prove that when she died, the heartbeat of our empire didn't die with her. Haley's baby is your daughter and I know you love her. Megan could learn to love her. You two could raise her together in North Carolina…"

"Dad! Dad, listen to yourself! You're off your rocker, man. Do you know what that sounds like? I can't just take Haley's baby. And I can't expect Megan to want to raise another woman's, especially Haley's, child."

"Nathan, I have everything worked out…"

"No, you don't. You might think you do. Remember when I was five and Keith bought me that toy set with the castle and all the guards and knights and kings? You and me would play for hours, Dad and our kings would rule the world. But that was a game and they were just toys. This is real. The people are real."

"I know that."

"Then act like it! You say love made me soft…well, I'd rather be soft than be a shell like you."

Dan smirked as Nathan loosened his grip.

"I love you, son. That's why I'm doing all this for you and our family. But there are bigger things to consider."

"You sick fuck!" Nathan shook his head.

"It's easy to blame the Old Man when I've spent your entire life watching out for you and protecting you and making sure you had what was best. I get punished for loving my sons while once again, Haley James, who has done nothing but ruin you since the day you met, gets to walk away without so much as a slap on the wrist."

"Leave her out of this. I mean, do you really hate Haley that much?"

"She's the 5'3" thorn that's been in my side for almost nine years, Nate. I'd do almost anything to get rid of her."

"Including blackmailing her and letting her child die?"

Dan laughed evilly.

"She's such a silly girl. I see her panties are all in a bunch. I was just bluffing the whole time. Of course I'll give marrow to the poor kid."

He treated it like it was all a joke. Just something else to control and play with in the imaginary kingdom he lived in where the only thing that mattered were Dan Scott and his twisted, psychotic rules.

"You make me sick, man. After this transplant is over and the baby is safe, I never want to see you again. You got that?"

Dan smirked at his youngest son.

"Have it your way but you see me every single time you look in that mirror and you know it", he sneered. "How does it feel, Nate?"

Nathan was enraged! His whole life he had been running away, desperately trying to escape the destiny that would clone him after a man he loved, hated, revered, and feared all at the same time.

"I could kill you right now", Nathan hissed, grabbing a knife from a nearby table room service had brought up.

He held the sharp tip to his father's Adam's Apple. Dan's smirking, cocky expression never changed. His eyes almost dared his son to go through with it. Neither one knew how dangerously close Nathan was to the edge.

"Oh my God! Stop! Nathan! What are you doing?"

The door swung open and in ran Brooke.

"Welcome to the party, honey. Why don't you get me a drink?" Dan teased.

Nathan's face tightened as he readjusted his grip. He was deadly serious and they all knew it.

"Nathan, please", Brooke pleaded. "Please don't do it."

"Yeah", Dan mocked. "Don't do it, Nathan."

"Put the knife down", Brooke begged. "Just give me the knife before you do something you'll regret."

"I'd never regret this", he whispered.

"If you do it, you can't take it back. Don't Nathan. Think of your brother and your mom. Think of your daughter."

Nathan closed his eyes.

"Brooke…"

"Come on. He's not worth it, Nate. I promise you, he isn't even worth it."

Taking a deep breath after being talked down from a mental and emotional ledge, Nathan finally backed away. He handed Brooke the knife before calmly leaving the room.

"Nice work", Dan breathed as he straightened his tie.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

Her heart was in the pit of her stomach. She knew that if she hadn't come up to that room looking for Lucas that very instant, Nathan probably would have slit his father's throat. And he had every reason in the world to do so.

"I'm great, darling", he grinned, nodding towards the bar. "Now like I said, how about that drink?"

Brooke shook her head and suppressed the urge to vomit. She had always been told the eyes were the window to the soul but when she looked into Dan Scott's, she saw nothing. She watched him smirking at her, eyeing her like a piece of meat as she left the room. It was then she realized it was she who harbored the regret. Maybe she should have let Nathan kill him. The world might have been better off.


	152. Hanging By A Moment

"Coffee?"

Nathan looked up to see what his brother was offering. He gratefully accepted the large cup and took a sip, wincing as it burned his lips and tongue.

"Damn", he cursed.

"Careful", Lucas smiled tiredly.

"Sorry. I forgot that coffee was actually supposed to be hot. This half cold hospital crap has me spoiled", he joked. "And who sprang for Starbucks?"

"Brooke."

"She's a lifesaver."

"In more ways than one, I hear but that's why I love her. You want to tell me what happened?"

Nathan stared at the floor.

"What did she tell you?"

"Oh nothing much", Lucas shrugged. "Just that she walked in Dad's room looking for me but instead found him pinned to the wall and a knife to his throat. You know anything about that?"

"Brooke wouldn't let me kill him."

"That's a good thing", Lucas raised an eyebrow. "Look, Nate, I know you're under pressure right now. I'm right here with you, bro. And Dad? Well, he's just Dad. You can't let him get to you, or at least not like that. The guy can be an asshole and who in Tree Hill hasn't wanted to cut his head off at one time or another? But that doesn't give you the right to do it."

"Then what gives him the right to play with Lillian's life?"

"He was being a major prick and he pissed me off too but you know there's no way he would let that little baby die."

Nathan shook his head in disgust.

"There you go again, man. St. Lucas to the rescue. Why do you always have to defend him?"

"I'm not…"

"Yes, you are."

"Nate, he isn't all bad."

"Really? Because I'm having a hell of a time finding the good anymore. I'm done with him, man. I mean it this time. He's out of my life for good."

"He is going through surgery as we speak giving bone marrow to save your daughter's life."

"Yes he is but damn, Luke, what did we have to go through to get him there?"

"Nate…"

"Did you know he blackmailed Haley?"

Lucas narrowed his eyes.

"What? What do you mean?"

"He told her he would only do the transplant if she signed over parental rights."

"Nathan…"

"I saw the papers with my own eyes, man. Besides, Haley admitted it."

Lucas looked away. He felt like he had been punched in the gut. Dan had pulled some stunts over the years and hurt a lot of people but this time the man had gone too far.

"So that's why you did what you did?"

"I just snapped."

Lucas shook his head.

"I guess I can't blame you. Damn, I can't believe he would do something like that! That's pretty low, even for him."

"He's an evil man."

"He is. That hurts to say but it's the truth. I mean, we've both seen him be good. There have been times over the years wjen he wasn't running his mouth, or plotting to take over the world or being an all around dick and it was just…nice. For those short, few times, we were a real family. He was a real father."

"He is who he is."

"I'll tell you exactly what he is. He's a text book sociopath. He is a narcissist with no concerns for the rights of anybody else. He has a brilliant mind and no conscious to guide it. He'll take whatever he wants, when and how he wants no matter who gets hurts or what stands in his way. And he's not able to have or understand love."

"I don't even care anymore, Luke. You can psychoanalyze it all you want but the bottom line is, the guy is a piece of shit. All I care about now is that he is helping Lillian…or Jamarah or Jamma or whatever her name is. I still haven't figured out what to call her."

Lucas smiled.

"I kind of like Jamarah. It's different. Notice how Hales is the only one who calls her Lillian?"

"I haven't seen her around much today. It's not like we're talking a whole lot. I kind of went off on her about the whole custody thing."

"You were pissed."

"I was beyond pissed."

"I know but imagine how she was feeling. That has to be a hell of a spot to be in but I respect her for it."

"Luke…"

"She did whatever she had to do to protect her child."

Nathan laughed bitterly.

"There you go making her into some martyr."

"Remember the story of King Solomon?"

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah."

"What was it? What happened?"

"I don't know, man. I learned that in church ages ago. Something about two women who came to his court and they both claimed that they were the mother of the same baby. So Solomon threatened to split the baby in half. One woman was gonna go with it, but…"

"But the other begged the king to give the live baby to the other woman. That's how Solomon knew the second woman was the mother."

"And your point?"

"You know my point. Haley loves her baby, your baby together. And she was willing to do whatever to save her life."

Nathan sighed.

"I don't know. I don't know what you want me to say, man. This doesn't erase the past year. As far as I'm concerned, it's just one more crazy chapter in this drama filled book that is our life. I'm still mad about a lot of stuff."

"Like?"

"Like Yoanna dying for instance. And then Haley not even telling me she was having my kid."

"You didn't know?"

"Did you?"

"I had my suspicions, Nate. The dates kind of added up and I did believe her when she said she never slept with Chris. Deep down, I think I knew. That's why I came here to find out for sure last year."

"You what?"

"I didn't see Haley and Taylor lied to me."

"Figures", Nathan mumbled.

"Just don't put this all off on her. Isn't eight years of hate and blame and miscommunication enough? Like it or not, you're parents together. You two are going to have to learn to just deal with it somehow."

"That's the problem…I don't know how to deal with it."

"You have a lot to figure out. What's gonna happen when Jamarah is out of the hospital?"

"I don't know. We haven't talked about it."

"Don't you think you should?"

Nathan sighed. He knew Lucas was right.

"What do I say, man? I mean, there's still so much hurt and anger between us. How do we all go on from here?"

"I don't know how, I just know we do, Nate."

Nathan rubbed his eyes.

"This is hard, bro."

"I know. Look, everybody's gonna be coming back here soon. Why don't you go see your baby?"

Nathan nodded as he stood to leave.

"Thanks, Lucas."

"For what?"

"For the advice and the support…and the love. You're a great friend…and a great brother."

Luke smiled as Nathan hugged him. Then he went to put on the surgical scrubs so he could visit his daughter. Walking into the Isolation room, she was resting comfortably in the crib. He smiled as he leaned over and kissed her tiny cheek. She was so fragile he had been afraid to touch her at first but he had learned a valuable lesson with Yoanna.

The baby opened her eyes and stared at him. One brown eye and one blue one, both the carbon inherited copy from each of her parents. She was truly a beauty. When he looked at her he saw shades of himself and his mother and Haley…and especially Yoanna. It was enough to bring tears to his eyes.

The baby began to gurgle and smile. Even in all her pain and sickness, this beautiful little girl could still look at him with a smile on her face. Gosh, she looked so much like her mother at that moment. Nathan could have stared at her forever but as soon as she went back to sleep, he quietly slipped out of the room. The waiting area was still empty except for one person. Curled up in a little ball on the uncomfortable sofa was Haley. Her feet were tucked in and she appeared to be sitting on her hands. Even in sleep she was probably just trying to protect herself from the cold. It was a hot summer in New York but the hospital was going crazy with air conditioning. Nathan had since learned to bring a jacket but Haley had apparently forgotten.

At that moment she looked as tiny and fragile as their daughter did. Something inside his heart went out to her. Sighing, he spread out his thin jacket and carefully draped it over her. She stirred but did not wake up. Nathan couldn't peel his eyes away. It brought back memories of long ago when he used to spend hours just watching her sleep. He had to physically restrain himself from stroking her face but he couldn't help it when he saw the stray strand of hair that had fallen near her closed eyes. It begged to be moved and he gently complied, tenderly placing it behind her ear. Her eyes fluttered and opened slowly and they found themselves face to face.

It was an intimate, quiet and special moment that required no words. It was just for them, something to share. But it wasn't all private. No one had noticed the beautiful blonde who had made her way to the ICU waiting area. She hadn't wanted to cause problems or a scene. She wanted to be there for Nathan and her curiosity wanted a first hand peek at the sister of her dead daughter. But it wouldn't get that far. As her hand touched the doorknob, all she saw was her husband brushing the hair out of his ex wife's eyes. All she saw was that shared look. And all she felt was their energy. Catching her breath, she watched them for a bit before backing away. Her life with Nathan flashed before her eyes. She remembered all they had shard both good and bad. She memorized every word of every conversation. Even Dan's words kept repeating in her head like a broken record.

Meg bit her lip to keep from crying as she saw the man she loved with the woman he loved. It had been too much. It was the realest of wake up calls. And Megan Scott knew what she had to do about it.


	153. Fate Is What We Make

Nathan yawned as he returned to the hotel. His father was resting comfortably in the recovery room after his portion of the transplant so that eliminated the dreadful notion of the two running into each other on the elevator at The Waldorf.

He was exhausted and needed hours of uninterrupted sleep but that would not come. At best he had time for a hot shower, change of clothes and maybe a 20 minute catnap if he was lucky. He knew Megan would be waiting for him. She had been by his side as promised. She had been his rock and had never wavered. He loved her for it but couldn't help but feel guilty. It was unfair to ask her to do what she was doing yet he couldn't make it without her. She deserved at least a little attention as a sign of his gratitude but as usual, he wouldn't be able to stay long. And like always, Megan would understand…at least he hoped she would.

"Megan! You here? I brought Chinese food!" he called out.

There was no answer in the large suite and it was dark. He could still smell the remnants of her sweet perfume and the pajamas she had worn the night before were neatly folded on the bed.

Sighing, Nathan made a place for two on the table. He had brought her takeout favorite, Sweet and Sour Beef with Wonton soup and a Diet Pepsi. After a few quick bites and idle chatter, he'd have to get back but a part of him had wanted to get back and see her all day.

"Meg!" he called out again.

That was odd. Her purse was gone but there was no note saying she had stepped out. After tearing into his own food, something told Nathan to look in the closet. His heart pounded. He knew what he would find before he even opened it. It took a few seconds to regroup but finally he did. And when his sweaty palms opened the door, he found exactly what he knew he would…emptiness.

She was gone.

Nathan swallowed hard. He stumbled over to the phone on the desk by the bed. Somehow he managed to press a single digit.

"Front desk, may I help you?"

"Um, yeah…this, this is Nathan Scott. I was checking to see if there were any messages left for me."

"One minute sir…uh, yes. There is a letter here waiting for you. Shall I send someone up to deliver it?"

"Please", he managed to squeak.

It was only minutes but it felt like an eternity until he heard that knock on the door. He opened it, took the letter, tipped and thanked the bellhop before closing it and falling back on the bed. His name was written in her neat, cursive handwriting on a plain, white envelope. His hands trembled so fiercely, it was hard to open it.

_Dear Nathan,_

_Sounds much like "Dear John", huh? But just like the song, by the time you read these lines I'll be long gone. I couldn't bring myself to hang around and say good bye to your face but it wouldn't be right to not do it at all so I decided to express my feelings in this letter. I hope it brings you comfort and understanding…and most of all, peace._

_Making this decision to leave is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life. I have given it much thought and believe me, it is for the best…for both of us and it's something I wish I'd had the courage to do a long time ago. Maybe if I had, it would have saved you, me and so many other people a lot of unneeded heartache._

_Please know that first and foremost, I do love you. Despite everything that has happened, good and bad, that is the one thing that will never change, even though at times I wish it weren't true. Maybe if it wasn't this wouldn't hurt so bad. They say if you love something then let it go and if it comes back then you know it was meant for you to have all along. So that's what I'm doing. I'm letting you go, Nathan. I know in my heart of hearts you won't be back and that fact, as sad as it is, is one I have come to accept._

_I do want you to know that it was me who intercepted Dan's custody papers to Haley. He let me know of his ridiculous and disgusting plan. I know I should have told you but I didn't know how. And maybe for a minute, in the back of my mind I shamelessly contemplated what he wanted. Crazy, huh? It is but for a few seconds, a life of normalcy and happiness with you and a chance to hold and raise a child together seemed like a piece of Heaven. Thank God, I came to my senses in a short time to realize there would have been hell to pay later. _

_I know you do love me. I believe you when you say it but at the same time I know you're in love with Haley. What a difference! I saw that in your eyes every day we were together, I just chose to foolishly ignore it. But today, earlier, when I saw you two together…when you thought no one was watching, just the simple and silent, loving gesture of brushing a lock of hair from someone's eyes spoke a million words. You might not know it now, you might not want to face it, you might not be ready for it but you and Haley James are meant to be together. That's just the way it is and always will be._

_So many times your father and sometimes with my parents, schemed to keep us together. I knew what was going on. Forgive me for praying that their harebrained plans would work. But what kind of marriage is a marriage if it takes plotting just to make it work? That's not what I signed up for and neither did you. We both deserve to be happy, even if it isn't with each other. Your father is quite the character and as dastardly and reprehensible as he can be, a part of me can understand and even sympathize as to why he does what he does. It may be wrong or crazy but I'd like to think it comes from some place good. As much as he can or knows how, he does in his own twisted way love you. Love can make people do crazy things…don't I know that? Maybe I never got his need to control and dominate but his fear of being alone and his fear of losing your love driving him to sometimes appalling acts…well, believe it or not, I do get that. I was once in the same boat._

_For now I will remember and cherish the good times and we did have them. Making out under the blanket while we watched the football games, summers at the beach, skinny dipping in your parents' pool, late nights spent drinking beer and playing your video games and finally what I will treasure most…the times we talked. I mean the quality time. When we laughed and cried and just got to know each other. When you gave me the privilege of getting to know the real you. Thank you for that, Nathan. It was my honor._

_I won't ever regret you and I pray you never regret me. Regret is such a sad word. I do regret the way things turned out. I know you never planned it this way and neither did I. Sometimes things just happen and no matter how unfair they may be, we have no control over our destiny. I used to think my future was with you and our family but now your future is with Haley and Jamarah Lillian. Call it fate or destiny or kismet or providence…I don't know. I don't think I believe in that anymore. There is no fate. If you remember nothing else, remember that fate is what we make. _

_Even though the time has come that we go our separate ways, we will be bonded forever. You were the father of my precious angel of a little girl. As much as it hurt to lose her, I am just grateful for the brief time that we had her. She was truly a gift from God, too good for us or for this cruel world so He took her back. We will see her again, Nathan. I was raised to so desperately believe in a Heaven and if in fact it does exist, I know our beautiful Yoanna Isabella is there. I thank you for giving her to me. She was the best part of both of us and we will think about and love her for the rest of both our lives._

_I caused you a fair share of pain and if my actions did hurt you, then I apologize. I never meant to. And on my darkest days when I was at my worst, I am so sorry you had to see me that way. For a while I lost myself, who I truly am, and it's time for me to get that person back. I don't want to be that wounded, hurting, fractured shell of a human being anymore and I don't want that for you either. That is why we both must move on and do it apart._

_Don't look back and feel too guilty or blame yourself. We're all human, we all make mistakes. I am doing my best to learn from mine. The only way to redeem yourself is to sort through the wreckage and carnage and try to turn it into something positive. You can do it, Nate. I believe in you! I always have. You can do anything you set your mind and heart to do._

_The human side of me hates Haley James and blames for everything in my life falling apart. But another side of me, the spiritual side says she is just as much of a victim as I am. We all were in this game. There were no winners here…just survivors. If she still holds your heart, which I know she does, don't run from it anymore. Don't let anger, fear or pride get in the way. That's what happened last time and look at the aftermath. Love her, love yourself and love your daughter. You owe it to yourself, Nathan. You owe it to Yoanna._

_My greatest hope is that you get your life together somehow. It will take time and a whole lot of soul searching but being free in the end will all be worth it. You have tremendous talent, commanding presence and handsome looks…anyone can see that but it's what is on the inside that counts the most. You have a beautiful heart, a sharp mind and a caring soul. Don't dwell so much on the past but you do have to quit running from it. You are not, nor will you ever be Dan Scott. It's time to move on from that fear and the only way to go ahead is to start by taking a step back._

_Just as I hope (and know) you will be alright, so will I. I promise you that, Nathan. I know you will anyway, but try not to worry about me too much. And please don't try to find me. It's just better that way. Where I am going is safe and it's somewhere I need to be. Your beautiful, smiling face and your neverending love will remain in my heart forever. I value our friendship but we both know we no longer have a marriage. I am done fighting for something that simply cannot be saved. When the time is right, I will forward you the legal documentation for separation and divorce. We have grounds for an annulment but I can't bring myself to do it. That would mean the marriage never existed at all. And if that didn't exist, neither would we or our love or Yoanna for that matter. With the sunshine comes the storm and I have to accept both._

_There isn't much more left to say. I think (and hope) I've said it all. I hope you understand why it had to end this way because one of us had to end it. Letting go is in fact the hardest part. I will miss you more than words can say, I will think of you often, I will pray for you always and I will love you forever._

_Megan_

He read and reread the words but it was hard because of all the tears dripping onto the paper. Eloquently, gracefully and truthfully, Megan had said it all and bowed out with dignity. It destroyed him that he had hurt her and so many others and that he had allowed his life to spiral out of control. But she was right…it was up to him and only him to fix it.

Stepping out of his clothes, Nathan climbed into the shower. The steaming hot water felt so good as it washed away all of his heartache, even if it was only a temporary fix, it was a start. As much as it had hurt, he would be forever grateful to Megan for setting him free. It was time to spread his wings and fly again. It was time to start over. It was time to attempt to pick up the broken pieces.

When Megan had first told him she was pregnant, he was thrilled to become a father. It gave him a life purpose and someone to be good for. When Yoanna died, he thought that dream died with her. But it hadn't. God had given him a second chance. He had himself and Lucas and his mother and now his other daughter. He had to straighten his life up for himself but also for those who loved him. He owed them that much.


	154. Turkey or Ham?

Haley buried her tired head in her hands. The waiting was already killing her and it had just begun. Dan's part of the procedure had been the easy part. He was resting and recovering, meanwhile Lillian's little body was being prepped for the surgery. It was a mass confusion of doctors, nurses, tubes and drugs. Haley wasn't allowed in the sterilized atmosphere and that was probably for the best. She didn't know if she could take seeing one more person poking and prodding at her little girl.

"Turkey or ham?"

Haley looked up and was surprised to see Deb.

"What?"

"You looked like you could use something to eat. There's a tasty little deli down the block so I picked something up. Let's see, I have ham and cheese plain on toasted wheat and turkey on rye with lettuce and mustard. Chips for a snack and Diet Coke. I was craving iced tea but it seems you can't get sweetened tea past northern Virginia these days. Must be a southern thing."

Haley just looked at her.

"Mrs. Scott, what are you doing?"

"Please…call me Deb."

Haley took a deep breath.

"Listen, I appreciate everything that you've done for Lillian. I really thank you and Mr. Scott for coming up here and getting tested and him donating the marrow but…you don't have to stick around."

"I know that but we want to. I want to."

"Why?"

"Lillian is my granddaughter."

"Yeah and I'm sure you were just thrilled to find that one out", she rolled her eyes sarcastically.

"Yes, I was", Deb sighed. "It's Nathan's daughter. You know by now that I already lost one grandchild a few months ago. Finding out about Lillian was a blessing."

"Please."

"Haley, I'm being sincere. Look, I know you must have your doubts about Dan and me. I'm sorry about that. We did get off on the wrong foot…"

"No. Actually we hit it off just perfect. We were friends once. I liked you a lot. I looked up to you. I trusted you. And I thought you felt the same way about me. Then everything changed in a matter of seconds."

"Yes, it did."

"You totally turned on me after Nathan and I got married. I saw another side of you and it was spiteful and hateful. I tried so hard to make it up to you and get back in your good graces. I mean, Nathan and I expected crap from his dad but you? You had always been so supportive of our relationship…"

"Yes, when you were dating. Haley, my God, you guys were 16. You were in high school. You were still babies yourselves. I know I overreacted a bit back then and I did treat you harshly. I'm sorry for that. I know apologizing now won't make it better but I honestly feel bad about that. I've felt guilty for years now."

"I'm sorry. I just can't do this right now. Please…"

"Haley, I know you're under stress and you're overwhelmed right now. I know you're worried about your child. That's what being a mother is all about. I'm a mother, too. God knows how much I worry about Nathan. He's been in a bad way lately."

Haley closed her eyes. It had been a tough year for everyone.

"I know. And I'm sorry for that. Nathan is a good person. He has a good heart. He lost his way somehow and it opened up the door for a lot of bad things."

"He lost his way when you left, Haley eight years ago."

"Don't you think I know that, Deb? I'm not blind or stupid. And I think about it everyday. I've thought about it everyday since then. I feel guilty enough so trust me, you can't possibly make me feel any worse."

"That isn't my intention. I was sorry to see you go."

Haley laughed out loud in spite of herself.

"Yeah right."

"I mean it. It hurt me to see my son hurt so much."

Haley closed her eyes.

"I was out chasing a dream", she said quietly.

"There's nothing wrong with that."

"Even when it destroyed my marriage?"

"That was my biggest fear for you", Deb sighed. "For both of you. That's what I always told Nathan. The reason I flipped out on you when you first told me you were married was because you were 16. I was just being a mom, Haley, and now that you are, you'll understand where I was coming from. And secondly, my husband had just had a heart attack and was in a coma and we didn't know if he was going to live or die. Dan and I had been through so much that year and I felt like it was my fault. I didn't know about the HCM at the time so I thought I had caused him to almost die. Trust me when I say I know a few things about a wife's guilt. Anyway, combine all that and hearing that my only child eloped before his 17th birthday…well, it was too much. It sent me over the edge."

"Look, I know I messed up. I know I hurt Nathan. And I know it probably doesn't matter now but for what it's worth, I want you to know that I loved your son. What we had was real."

"I know that. I never doubted it. Sure on my part there was jealousy that another woman had stolen my boy away from me but it was more than that. Don't forget that I was a teenage bride too and a mother. And as much as I loved Dan and Nathan, I still felt there were things I missed out on. You have to change a lot of selfish behavior when you get married and start having kids. At times I felt the best years of my life were passing me by. Over time it built up and eventually I ran away and had an affair. I was wrong and I have tried ever since to redeem myself but my point is, I didn't get to do all the living I wanted to do before I settled down."

"I never had sex with Chris. It wasn't about cheating on Nathan."

"I know. I never thought it was like that. You were just a kid. A good kid with a big heart and even bigger dreams and you jumped on the opportunity of a lifetime. You went out and found Haley. I respect that, I just wish you'd had the chance to do all that before marriage to anyone."

Haley stared at the tiles on the floor.

"I just can't help but think maybe I made a big mistake back then."

"Don't ever apologize for what you want. You have to live life for yourself and make yourself happy. It's one thing to disappoint the people around you but there's nothing worse than disappointing yourself. You did what you had to do then. You went after what you wanted and you weren't afraid. Life is about risks and gambles. You have to have that same attitude now. If there's something you want now, you have to just go for it."

"Okay, I must be really tired. Are you telling me to go after Nathan?"

"Is that what you want?"

"No…I don't know. I can't even think about that. The time…it's not right. We just can't now. We've both been through so much and right now my main priority is my daughter."

"And it should be. But you're a strong person, Haley. You were strong back then and I've watched you from afar as you've grown over the years. You've led a remarkable life and even with the uncertainty and sometimes misery this past year brought us all, you survived and managed to come out of it smelling like a rose. There's a lot to be said for that."

"Deb…"

"I'm proud of you. It's probably too late for hugs and giggles but I am proud of the woman you are. And I'm proud to say that you were my daughter in law. Look, Haley, I don't know what the future holds for any of us but I wish you peace and happiness…with or without my son. I mean that. And I hope you accept my apologies and we can somehow move forward. When this is all over, I'd like nothing more than to be apart of Lillian's life…and yours."

Haley just looked at Deb. She believed her and it was a fresh start, so to speak, but there would be a long road ahead to full reconciliation.

"Thank you", she whispered.

Deb smiled.

"Turkey or ham? Come on, you have to eat."

Haley nodded. Her stomach was rumbling.

"Turkey, please."

The two women ate in content, easygoing silence. Just as they were finishing up, the door opened. It was an exhausted and worried looking Nathan with red, puffy eyes. He was shocked to see his mother and former wife sitting side by side and actually looking comfortable but he had much larger issues to contend with.

"Is everything alright, honey?" Deb stood.

Nathan took a deep breath as he looked at Haley then his mother again.

"Mom…we have to talk."


	155. A Leopard Doesn't Change Its Spots

Haley knocked softly before entering the room. He was sitting up in bed, reading the latest edition of the New York Post. He knew she was just a few feet away but he decided against acknowledging her presence.

"Hi", she finally said.

"What do you want?"

She took a deep breath. She should have known he wasn't going to make this easy for her.

"I…I don't know. I just came to check on you, I guess. Um, how are you feeling?"

"Like I was just split in half", he said, still engrossed in his reading.

Haley pulled up a chair. To say he could be a loathsome soul capable of the most depraved of acts, would be an understatement. But he had saved her baby's life. And he was Lillian's grandfather. She had to speak her peace to him.

"I won't stay long. I won't bother you…"

"Good."

"I just wanted to say thank you", she continued, ignoring him. "Mr. Scott, there are no words…I mean, you saved Lillian's life. I can't thank you enough or repay you or anything. In spite of our differences and just everything that has happened, I wanted to let you know how grateful I am. Really."

He finally put down his paper.

"I appreciate that, Haley."

She raised an eyebrow.

"That's it?"

"What?"

"That's all you have to say?"

"Yes. What else were you expecting?"

"To get yelled at, maybe. A smart comment, a tasteless joke?"

Dan grinned.

"Am I that predictable, Miss James?"

"Yes, Mr. Scott, I suppose you are."

"Interesting", he laughed.

"Look, I won't stay long. I just wanted to see you and tell you thank you face to face."

She stood to leave but he called her back.

"Haley?"

"Yes?"

"I know it took a lot for you to come down here and say everything you had to say. I respect your honesty."

"Thank you."

"And what I did with little Jamarah…that was wrong. I shouldn't have gone about it that way but I was afraid."

"Afraid?"

Dan looked away and Haley swore she saw tears forming in his eyes.

"Yes. I already lost one grandchild…I can't lose another. I was desperate, Haley."

Haley was at a loss for words seeing him so vulnerable.

"Mr. Scott…"

"I want to be in her life. Please."

Haley took a deep breath.

"I understand that. I know she is your grandchild and you want to see her. Believe me, it is not my intention to keep Lillian away from you or your wife or Nathan. I want her to know her family, all her family. I would never try to keep her away from the Scott's but…I do have my reservations. You have to understand where I'm coming from."

"Reservations?"

"Yes. With all due respect, it's not like you have the greatest track record. Look how you've treated me and contrary to whatever you believe, I've never done anything to you. I know how you treat me is not how you treat Lillian but still. And I can't help but remember how it was for Lucas the first 16 years of his life and I watched you ride Nathan so hard, he broke. I'm not trying to judge you or throw things in your face but my job is to protect my child."

"I see", Dan said.

"Maybe now isn't the time or place to discuss this."

"Very well. It's your choice after all. You are calling the shots now."

"Mr. Scott…"

"You got what you wanted from me, you don't need me anymore."

"It's not like that."

"Oh but it is. In the end, you're getting everything you want."

"Excuse me? The only thing I want is for my baby to live and be healthy."

"So you and Jamarah can live happily ever after with Nathan?"

"Lillian will have the chance to know her father but in case you forgot, Nathan does have a wife."

Dan nodded.

"Oh, I get it. You haven't heard the latest breaking news?"

"And what might that be?"

"Apparently my son doesn't have a wife anymore and we probably have you to thank for that. Megan's gone."

"What?"

"Deb just told me the news. Nathan told her his wife disappeared leaving only a Dear John letter behind."

Haley fought to catch her breath.

"I…I'm sorry to hear that."

Dan laughed. Even sore in a hospital bed, he could still be sinister.

"I just bet you are."

"Mr. Scott, I never meant to break up Nathan's marriage. He's been through a lot lately and I know he's hurting."

"He is. He has been for eight years, in fact. And we have you to thank for that as well."

Haley shook her head.

"I'm not doing this with you right now. Forgive me for trying to be the bigger person and coming down here to show you the respect I thought you deserved for saving Lillian. And just when you show me your human side and I think that you actually give a damn about my granddaughter, once again, you show your true colors. Couldn't even keep up the decent act for five minutes. I guess, shame on me, huh?"

"Are you done?" Dan eyed her.

"Yeah", Haley said in a strong voice. "You bet I'm done."

"Good. Then we obviously have nothing more to discuss. Close the door on your way out, will you?"

"Gladly", she sneered.

Haley cursed herself for letting him almost fool her with his act. No matter what, Dan Scott would always be Dan Scott. There was no getting around that or changing him. He was who he was. And a leopard never changed his spots, as the old saying went. He just camouflaged them.

"Oh and one more thing, Haley?"

She stopped dead in her tracks.

"What?" she put her hands on her hips.

"Don't go getting any funny ideas about you and your kid living happily ever after with my boy."

"The thought hadn't crossed my mind", she matched him in a sarcastic tone.

"Good because no matter what, when it comes down to it, this is all your fault. You left him all those years ago. It was on you that the annulment didn't go through. It was your genius idea to go to the Dominican Republic. I'm pretty sure it was you that seduced him and it was your influence that put all those crazy thoughts in his head. You ruined his marriage, his career and his life. Deep down, he knows that and if he ever forgets, there will always be one other factor. Know what that is? In the back of his mind, whether it's true or not, he could never be with you. Because every time he looks at you, every time he'd want to touch you, he'll see Chris Keller's face."

Haley felt her cheeks burn! How dare that asshole! He had some nerve. It was an intentional low blow just to hurt her. She refused to be that old shy, scared, quiet Tutor Girl. She was Haley James.

"He didn't see Chris' face when we were in the Dominican", she shot back.

Dan was taken off guard. He wasn't expecting the comeback.

"That was just sex to him, nothing more. If you want to be his sometime bunk buddy for the rest of his life, be my guest. But you'll never be more in his eyes…or mine."

"You know what? Screw you!"

"Watch your mouth, kid. You don't know who you're talking to."

"No, you don't know who you're talking to. I am Haley James. I am an award winning, greatly admired, rich and famous, platinum selling, all around kick ass rock star. And who are you? You're just a small town car salesman, nothing more. You might run North Carolina but we're not in Tree Hill anymore."

With that, she slammed the door. Dan stared at it for a while before laughing. She had grown some balls and become feisty over the years. It was actually kind of…sexy, he thought.

"Upgrade", he snickered as he went back to his paper.


	156. Maturity Arrived In The Nick Of Time

Nathan stirred and yawned as he rolled over searching for comfort on the hard little couch. He bumped into the warmer, smaller figure stretched out beside him and they both awakened instantly. He found himself staring into the warmest, most beautiful set of brown eyes he had ever looked into.

"Hey."

"Hey", she said back.

"What time is it?"

Haley checked her watch.

"A little after midnight."

He sat up and winced, his back crying out for relief after countless endless nights of catnaps without comfort.

"Where is everybody?"

"Your dad got released so he's resting at the hotel and Deb went to be with him. Chris had business upstate and Taylor and Karen are at my place. I sent Brooke and Lucas back to their hotel."

Nathan nodded. It was just the two of them.

"How's Lillian?"

Haley smiled at the mention of their daughter's name.

"Sleeping. I looked in on her about an hour ago."

"And that treatment stuff they're giving her?"

"She's okay. She's not in any pain. The doctors just want to make sure her little body is strong enough for her part of the transplant."

He stared at the floor.

"I hope it works out…all of it."

"It will", Haley said quickly.

It had to. She couldn't see it any other way.

"When are they gonna actually put the bone marrow in her?"

"We're shooting for tomorrow afternoon if all goes well."

Nathan looked around at the quiet and dimly lit room.

"Maybe you should try to get some sleep. Some real sleep. I could hang out here if you want to go to your place for a few hours."

She shook her head.

"I'm okay. I don't want to leave her. I can't leave."

"You look so tired."

"So do you. We all are, I guess. But I won't be able to rest until after the transplant is over with and we know it took and she's okay. Besides, I took a bunch of naps here earlier. I'm okay. I just need some coffee."

"Me too."

"I'll get it", she stood.

"Look, Haley, I…I'm kind of tired of that crap coming out of the vending machine. Want to go across the street to that little diner? I think it's open 24 hours and it can't be much worse."

She nodded.

"Okay. Um, just for a little while."

They were silent on the short journey and the street diner was empty when they arrived. Nathan grabbed a couple of doughnuts and croissants while she made two cups of coffee. He paid and they settled at a table.

"I lied", he said as he swallowed his first sip.

"Excuse me?"

"About the coffee", he sheepishly grinned. "It is worse or just as bad I should say. Tastes like liquid crap."

She took a gulp and frowned before she smiled.

"At least it's hot liquid crap."

"Know where you can get the best coffee in the world? And don't tell Karen because she'll kill me but there's this little place in San Diego called the Korova Coffe Bar…"

Haley's face lit up.

"Yeah, I know that place. It's on Park Boulevard."

"Yeah."

"Oh I love their coffee. It's so good. I stop there whenever I tour in San Diego."

"Yeah, I went there every time on my way to L.A. to play the Lakers."

His voice trailed off.

"How is that? Basketball, I mean. Any word on next season?"

"No", he sighed. "So far the pre season is a no go and I haven't heard squat on the regular season. I don't even know what's going on with my contract in Charlotte."

"I'm sorry, Nathan."

"Don't be. It's cool. It's not your fault."

"I can't help but think that some of it is."

"It isn't. I messed up. Mouthing off to coaches, showing up plastered on game night, skipping practice, being a dick to my teammates…that shit doesn't fly in the NBA. I was unprofessional. All the other garbage I was dealing with personally shouldn't have interfered. I reacted and just handled things wrong, now I have to deal with the consequences."

"Wow", Haley raised her eyebrows. "That's very mature of you."

"I've grown up a lot. I didn't have much choice these past few months. I made a lot of mistakes and it was time to fix them. I have to learn to accept responsibility for my actions…or at least that's what they tell me in AA."

"AA?"

"Yeah", he looked away. "I go to meetings sometimes. It helps, I guess. I tell Luke I only go for the refreshments but uh…it works out. I haven't touched a sip of alcohol since the accident."

"And the guy you hit?"

"Mike? Oh he's cool. He's a good guy. His whole family is made of good stuff, I tell you. He's out of the hospital and in physical therapy."

"He's going to be okay?"

Nathan sighed.

"Okay as okay can be. He'll never be the same. That's why I paid all his medical bills and I pay for his therapy and right now I'm basically supporting his family. I will help them out financially for the rest of my life if I have to."

"That's big of you."

"I owe him that and then some. But it's not just about money. I don't do it for show or because I have to but it's because I want to. It comes from my heart. I messed him up pretty bad because I was being stupid. Through it all, he has still managed to be my friend. That says a lot about the guy."

"That'll come back to you. I mean it. It's a good way to square your karma."

"I know but I don't care about that."

"I know but just the same. It might help you with basketball. I know how much you love it. Not the pressure or your dad on your case but just the game itself. And you're so great at it."

"I'm not gonna lie. I'd like to get it all back but if it doesn't happen, then I'll deal. I lost a lot more than basketball this year."

"I'm sorry about your daughter", Haley blurted out. "Your other daughter, I mean. Yoanna."

Nathan looked sad.

"That was…it's really hard."

"I can't imagine…"

"It was rough on me and just everybody. Especially Meg. It tore her up inside."

Haley sighed.

"I…I heard about that, too."

"She left me."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Man, news travels fast. Lucas tell you?"

"No…Dan actually."

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Great", he mumbled. "Mom must have told him. That's what I had to talk to her about when I saw you guys eating."

"Are you okay? I mean, with everything else going on…"

"I can't even think about that now. It's just one more thing to deal with. I can't say that I blame her. I can't believe she hung around this long. I'm ashamed to admit it but uh…sometimes I wasn't very nice to her. I hurt her a lot actually and she didn't deserve it. I put that girl through hell and back and she loved me and stayed loyal to the end when plenty of times she could have and probably should have punched me and told me to my face what a bastard I was. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. It's over now and that's probably for the best but I didn't get the chance to say good bye. She wrote me this sad but totally awesome letter and I never got the chance to hold her or apologize or just say good bye. I just wish there was something I could have done or could do to repay her for all the things she did for me. All I ever did was give that girl heartache."

"Nathan…"

"I'm sorry. Guess I shouldn't be discussing this with you."

"It's okay", Haley whispered. "You're just being honest and saying what's on your mind…and in your heart. There's nothing wrong with that. You've been through a lot."

"I've been through a lot and I've lost a lot and because of all that, I've learned a lot. Man, I'm still not perfect. Sometimes I don't think before I speak or I let my temper get the best of me but I'm trying. I'm really trying. I'm trying to make sense somehow out of everything that has happened. But I know I've got a lot of good people in my corner. I'm tired of letting them down…and myself for that matter. I didn't have the chance to do it with Yoanna but if you'll let me, I want to be there for Jamarah."

A tear slid down her cheek.

"Okay."

"Thanks, Hales", he said softly.

"Lillian", she cried.

"Huh?"

Haley smiled through her tears.

"Her name is Lillian. Not Jamarah or Jamma, just Lillian."

"Okay", he laughed. "Are you going to change it on her birth certificate?"

Haley thought for a minute.

"Nah. Lillian is her middle name so I'll just call her that. Besides, Jamarah isn't so bad. It actually kind of grows on you after a while but if you tell Taylor I said that, I will kill you."

"Your secret is safe", he grinned.

"Thanks."

"Haley, one more thing…"

"What's up?"

"I would like you to change the name on her birth certificate from James to Scott."

"What?"

"I mean, you can keep James or hyphenate it but I'd really like my last name on Jam…I mean, Lillian's birth certificate."

Haley nodded.

"Okay then. Jamarah Lillian James-Scott it is then."

"Sounds good."

"It does, doesn't it?"

They just looked at each other.

"We should get back", Nathan suggested.

Haley nodded as they stood to leave.

"I'll be so glad when this is over", she groaned. "I just want Lillian to be okay and I want to be a mom and just return to my normal life."

Nathan smiled as he stood close to her, a loud clicking sound jarring them.

"What the…"

Across the street at almost two in the morning, the paparazzi had spotted them and began snapping their pictures. Haley hid her face with her hands while Nathan briskly guided them back to the hospital entrance.

"Just great", she complained when they were safely inside. "Wonder what kind of story they're going to print now?"

Nathan tipped the security staff and asked them to keep the vultures away.

"Who knows?" he sighed. "Welcome back to our normal life."


	157. Reality Check

Haley emerged from the Isolation Unit to the worried and anxious stares of seven people.

"How is she?" Nathan asked.

Haley nodded.

"As well as to be expected. The doctors said the transplant went well. The next 72 hours are critical. They're monitoring her reactions closely and it's just a matter of time to see if it took."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. It was the best news they could have hoped for.

"Can I see her?"

"Yeah", Haley nodded. "She's sleeping but you can go in."

Nathan hurried to change into the scrubs and minutes later, he was by his daughter's side. She looked so peaceful for one so tiny and one who had gone through so much in a couple of weeks. As much as he yearned to touch her, he knew it would be a few days before any of them were allowed to hold her in their arms. For the time being, he would be content to just watch her. She was so beautiful, just like her mother. Lillian was the perfect equal combination of both her parents and Nathan knew he could just stare at her for the rest of his life.

"She's gorgeous, isn't she?"

He looked up to see the muffled voice behind the surgical mask.

"Taylor…"

"Long time no see, former brother in law. We haven't had a chance for one of our private talks in years."

"What are you doing here?"

"Same thing as you, I suppose. I wanted to check on my Jamma."

Nathan smiled again at the baby.

"You heard what Haley said. She's doing okay for now. The next three days are just a waiting game, I guess."

Taylor peered into the large bassinet that accommodated Jamarah and all the tubes and machines needed to help her get better.

"She's really beautiful, isn't she?"

"Yeah", he sighed. "She is."

"So beautiful and small and innocent. It's unfair really. She didn't deserve all this."

"No, she didn't."

"So what happens now? I mean, after she gets better and we can take her home."

Nathan shrugged.

"Haley and I have to talk about it some more but I'd like to stick around. Maybe we can work something out so I can spend more time with Lillian."

"Like custody?"

"Not custody. I don't see why it has to be that formal. I just want to be able to see my kid."

Taylor laughed out loud.

"Okay."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing", she said innocently.

"Nothing? Come on, Taylor. You've never been one to hold your tongue before. What's up? Say what's on your mind."

"Okay, you're right. You are most definitely right about that so here goes…I just find it slightly amusing that you're so gung ho about playing Daddy right now. Jamma gets sick and everybody has such a sudden interest now."

"What the hell are you getting at Taylor?"

"Look at her. Look at your daughter, Nate. Look what you've been missing out on."

"I'm not gonna make excuses or get into an argument with you. I've made a lot of mistakes, more than I care to admit to sometimes. But I'm trying to be a different person, a better person. I already have plenty to feel guilty for. I don't need you on my case trying to give me more."

"Interesting", Taylor observed. "You just don't get it, do you?"

"Taylor, what the fuck? You want to hear me say this is all my fault?"

"It is and the sad thing is you don't get how it is. Maybe you couldn't have changed Jamma being sick but everything else, this whole mess, everything that has happened the last eight years, has been your fault."

"Taylor…"

"You want to be in your child's life now? Fine. That's your right and your place but I'm damned sure not going to applaud you for it and neither should anyone else. Know why? Because you are her father and you are supposed to be here…end of the story. But eight years ago, you were so selfish and so heartless…"

"Great. Here we go again."

"Damn straight. Because all this pain could have been avoided. You could have had Haley and your daughter and everything would have been happy and great for everyone had you not made the choices you made."

"Me? Look, I wasn't going to get into this with you right now but your sister left me, remember?"

"Of course, I remember, I was there, Nathan. And I was worried because I didn't want anything to come between you two because you were the best things that had ever come into each other's lives. But Haley did leave. Right or wrong, we can debate it forever but yes she left. She left for a dream. She left to pursue the music but you never got that."

"Oh I got it, trust me."

Taylor shook her head.

"It's all about Chris Keller, isn't it?"

"You want to tell me had had nothing to do with it?"

"Outside of some valuable advice and industry connections, then no."

"Whatever."

"There you go. That world famous Scott ego makes yet another appearance. It cost you big time."

"What was I supposed to do, go chasing after her?"

"Yes, if you really loved her."

"If she really loved me then she would have never left."

"She did love you. You know that. She loved you with all her heart. All Haley ever wanted or needed was your support. But your pride wouldn't let you give it to her. Because success came on her terms without you and you weren't man enough to handle it."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Taylor."

"Yes, I do. You're the one who encouraged her to do something with her music and the minute you couldn't control it anymore, the Dan Scott in you got threatened."

Nathan laughed out loud.

"You think I was threatened?"

"I know you were."

"I had some scrawny, half talented, poser, clown hitting on my wife, kissing her and trying to seduce her while using the music as bait. Everyone saw that but Haley. So forgive me for trying to protect my wife and save my marriage. I did what I had to do. When you love someone, sometimes you have to sacrifice. I understood that. I put off High Fliers for Haley. I gave that up, not knowing if I'd have a chance to get to go back."

"But you didn't have to. That was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Thank your lucky stars Daddy pulled some strings and got you in a few years later but when you gave that up, you gave it up not knowing if there'd be a second chance."

"So…"

"So my point is, you didn't have to. That was all you, Nathan. Haley loved you and she supported you and she would have done whatever to make sure you got in that camp. You didn't have to give anything up and she didn't expect you to. And when you were done, no matter the struggle or the sacrifices, Baby Sis would have been right there with open arms when you came back…the same way you should have been there for her."

"Haley and Chris…"

"Oh come off it! There was no Haley and Chris. At least not the way you mean. There never was. He was and is a business partner, a mentor and a friend. That's it. Nothing more. She never had feelings for him. She never went on a date with him. She never had sex with him. Not even once."

"Then why didn't she ever come back?"

"Could you blame her? You guys were arguing over the phone. You treated her like crap before you stopped taking her calls altogether. You made it seem like you wanted it to be over. What was Haley supposed to come home to? A bitter, jealous, scoffing Dan Scott Jr.?"

Nathan shook his head in disgust.

"That was between Haley and me. Besides, it was a long time ago. And I'm not doing this with you anymore. I'm here now, okay?"

"It's okay as long as you do the right thing. But I love Haley and I love Jamma and I won't let you hurt them."

"I would never hurt them", he rebutted quietly. "And they're not the only ones that have been hurt. You were there that night. You saw my face when you told me she left."

"I did, Nathan. That's why I had to leave right then and there because it broke my heart to see you so destroyed but I was also there the day the annulment papers came in the mail. When Haley had to sign them…well, let's just say I'll never forget that look either. If your goal was to make her feel a fraction of the pain she made you feel, then you more than succeeded."

They were interrupted by Jamarah's faint cries. The baby stirred as her eyes opened and adjusted to the light.

"Is she okay?" he asked, noticing that she was grabbing for her little foot. "Maybe we should call the doctor…"

Taylor leaned over and sang, trying to soothe the little girl. A few seconds later, she was out like a light.

"It's cool. She does that when she wants attention. She likes it when I sing to her."

"Attention?" Nathan questioned.

"Yeah. Babies are weird like that. And when she's sleepy she pulls her ear. And she has a different cry from when she's hungry or she needs her diaper to be changed."

Nathan softened a bit as she smiled.

"That's cool. How…how do you know all this stuff?"

Taylor shrugged.

"Trial and error, I guess. You'll learn. It took Chris and me forever to figure it out and we still haven't gotten everything."

Nathan tensed at another mention of his archrival.

"Couldn't have done it without the assistance of the great Chris, huh? The punk couldn't have my wife so he won't be satisfied until my kid is calling him Daddy."

"It's not like that."

"I don't like him hanging around and taking care of Lillian."

"You better be on your knees thanking the Man upstairs that Chris Keller was around. If it hadn't been for him and me, God knows where Jamma would have been."

"Haley…"

"Haley loves Jamma but she hasn't been much of a mother to her. She had really bad post partum depression. It started while she was pregnant and it just got worse from there. She was sick and she couldn't help it but bottom line she wasn't there."

Nathan took a step back. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. There was so much he didn't know.

"I…I had no idea."

"Before Karen came up, it was just Chris and me. And it was hard. So you can hate him for the past all you want to but when you couldn't be there and Haley couldn't be there, it was Chris who held and loved and fed and took care of your kid."

It was hard to imagine Chris in that loving parental role. And the vivid images of him taking care of his daughter did make him ill enough to vomit and mad enough to take a swing. But the thought of Haley being lost in a sea of depression and the thoughts of poor, innocent Lillian having no one, was harder to bear.

"I didn't know."

"Well, now you do. Look, you might be the kid's father but you're not the only person that cares about her. I'm still gonna be there and so is Chris. You better get used to that, Nathan. Whether you like it or not, you better check your ego at the door."


	158. Truth and Hope

Haley opened the door to the Isolation Unit. She was surprised to see someone already scrubbed up sitting by Lillian's bedside.

"Brooke…is that you?"

"Hey", the brunette said. "No one was here and the nurse said it was alright if I sat down."

"It's okay…"

"I'll just leave and give you guys some time…"

"You don't have to. Stay if you want."

Brooke nodded as Haley pulled up a chair beside her.

"Lucas ran back to our hotel and I was just checking out the little diva here."

Haley smiled.

"She was up for a few hours this morning but it looks like she's knocked out now."

"She's so cute."

"I, um, I had a chance to go home earlier and shower and change. When I got to the apartment, there were all these boxes there full of baby clothes and toys. You know anything about that?"

Brooke shrugged.

"I was in a shopping mood. I thought I'd pick out a few things."

"A few?" Haley laughed.

"What? It's not much. Just a couple of things from Toys 'R Us and some clothes from Baby Juicy and Baby Gap and Dolce and Gabanna."

Haley shook her head as she smiled.

"Dolce and Gabanna…"

"Think it's too much?"

"For a two month old? Yeah but what the hell, I guess. It's just kind of funny that my infant daughter now owns more designer clothes than I do."

"They can never start to early, trust me."

"Thanks, Brooke. I mean it. That was really sweet of you."

Brooke nodded as they sat in silence for a while.

"Wow, this is…awkward."

"It didn't use to be", Haley observed.

Brooke looked away.

"That was a long time ago."

"I know. It feels like a life time ago. Anyway, I just thank you and Luke for being here at a time like this. This is probably the last place you envisioned you'd be spending your summer vacation."

"It's okay. Besides, it's family. Where else would we be?"

"Well, thanks just the same."

Brooke took a deep breath.

"Haley, look, I, um…I know we haven't talked a lot over the years and I know when I did see you, I wasn't exactly heading up the welcome wagon."

"It's cool, Brooke."

"No, it's not cool. I feel kind of bad about it."

"It's over now. You don't have to explain."

"Yes, I do. Because I've never really talked about it before. Not even so much with Broody. You know, when you left, for whatever reason you did, you left Nathan in a lot of pain."

"I know."

"It was so hard to see him hurting like that but he wasn't the only one you hurt."

Haley took a deep breath.

"I know, I know. I really hurt Lucas, too. I know that. And because of that, we haven't been as close over the years. I'm sorry I did that to him and I wish we could have been a bigger part of each other's lives."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

Haley frowned.

"What are you talking about?"

"Me", Brooke said in meek voice.

"You?"

"Yeah…me."

"I don't get it."

"Before junior year, our lives were a world apart. You were the tutor and Luke's best friend and that was your world. I was rich and popular and captain of the cheerleaders dating a different guy each week. I was happy…or at least I thought I was. I mean, that was just the way things were supposed to be. Then Lucas joined the team and everybody's life got turned upside down."

"I know."

"I fell in love with him and I became friends with you. Even after that drama with him, Peyton and me…through it all, we were able to be friends. And I got to know you and it was pretty cool. Besides, Pey, I'd never really had real girlfriends before."

Haley laughed out loud.

"Yeah right. You were the most popular girl in school. Everybody worshiped you. What about Bevin and Teresa and everybody?"

Brooke shrugged.

"They were cool. I liked them. We shopped together and partied but other than that and cheerleading, I mean, what did we really have in common? People wanted to hang around me because I was pretty and rich and the cheer captain and the head of the 'in crowd'. But how many of those girls really got to know me or even wanted to know the real me. With you it was real, you were real. For the first time I had someone I could have fun with and talk to."

"Brooke, I…I had no idea…"

"So when you left…when you just up and left without so much as a good bye and a look back, it didn't feel like you were just abandoning Nathan. I got left behind, too."

Haley saw a pain and sincerity in Brooke's eyes she hadn't seen before.

"Oh my God. I don't know what to say. I mean, what can I say? Brooke, I've apologized a billion times. I don't think it's so much what I did but how I did it. For that I can understand the anger and hurt. It hurt me too and I've lived with that every day since. Losing Nathan is one thing but I lost everyone else, too. Lucas, Jake, Peyton…you. I had no idea it affected you so much. So many times I wanted to pick up the phone and call."

"But you didn't."

"I couldn't. That might seem like a nice cop out but it's the truth. But it didn't mean that I didn't miss you guys or that I didn't love you because I do. I still do, Brooke. I guess I could spend all day explaining or trying to justify my actions but in the end, it just comes down to the fact that I'm sorry if I hurt you. I truly mean that. It was never my intention to hurt anyone."

"I know", Brooke said softly.

"I just hope that you forgive me. And I hope the past doesn't get in the way of our future together."

Brooke smiled as Haley hugged her. It felt good to let it all out and finally resolve the situation after so much time.

"Wow, Tutor Star…"

"Tutor Star?" Haley laughed out loud.

"Give me a bone, please. It's original at least and excuse me for not coming up with something better but all my spare energy is spent on trying to figure out what to call your daughter."

"Join the club", she rolled her eyes.

Brooke shared her smile.

"No, I was just thinking. I was wondering if…if things will ever be like they used to."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I wonder if things could ever be the way they used to back when we were kids growing up in Tree Hill. Do you think…"

"Do I think what?"

"Never mind."

"No, say it."

"You think you and Nathan will…I don't know. You think maybe in the future, there's still a chance?"

Haley sighed.

"I've thought about it so many times. There are a million 'what ifs'? But honestly Brooke, right now I don't see that happening and truthfully, I don't know if I want it to anymore. My mind and my heart just isn't there anymore. The only thing I'm worried about is my daughter. When I was pregnant and when she was born, I was really depressed. I wasn't myself. It's so scary to be in such a dark place and not know why you're there or how to get out. But Taylor and Chris did everything. I am so grateful for them but now it's my turn to step up. And that's exactly what I plan to do. It's time for me to be a mom. Nothing else matters. Not Nathan or my career or anything. It's all about Lillian from now on."

Brooke nodded.

"I get you. It makes sense, I guess. Maybe it's stupid or whatever but I just get this feeling like no matter what happens or how you slice it, that you and Boytoy were meant to be together. Hell, it might take you two 50 years but I think eventually that's where your cards lie."

"Who knows?" Haley shrugged. "Could be true or that could just be a case of wishful thinking."

"Who's to say it's not a mixture of both? Because even now despite everything that has happened and everything that has threatened to keep you guys apart, when I think of you and Nathan, I think of two soul mates. I think of a love more powerful than time or defeat or pain or obstacles. I think of two people meant to be, no matter what. And that gives me hope, Haley. It gives me hope for you and for Lucas and me and just for anyone else out there who has ever truly fallen in love."


	159. In The Best Interest of the Child

Haley returned from the cafeteria upstairs. The rabid paparazzi seemed to have radar on her or any other family members that exited the premises so leaving for food simply was no longer an option. They'd all practically become immune anyway to the mostly edible cuisine being served. In fact, Haley had even asked the head cook for her Beef Stroganoff recipe.

The elevator doors opened and she saw the crowd of family and close friends gathered. They were on their feet surrounding one of the doctor's who had been taking care of Lillian. Immediately Haley's heart fell in the pit of her stomach. She dropped her water bottle on the floor as she ran over to them.

"What?" she mouthed, chest heaving, eyes already beginning to tear.

The 72 hour waiting period was up. She had hoped for the best and tried to somehow prepare herself for the worst. Now it was the moment of truth.

"She's okay", Deb finally broke down, crying through her smiles. "Lillian is going to be okay. The transplant was a success. Her body accepted Dan's marrow."

Haley felt a tornado of emotion building inside her. Relief, joy, excitement, exhaustion. She began to cry tears of happiness as an equally jubilant Lucas swooped her up in his arms.

"When can I take her home?" Haley asked the doctor.

"We will still need to closely monitor her status but if all continues to go well, in a few days she should be ready to be released."

The small crowd of family and friends clapped and cheered out loud. The worst was finally over.

"Thank God", Karen hugged her. "Now there's only one thing left to do."

"What's that?"

"Set up logistics. I think it's something we all should discuss but ultimately the final decision is up to you, Haley."

"What do you mean?"

"Obviously you're taking Jamarah back to your apartment. It's home and it is close to the hospital and her doctors. We call can't fit in your loft and I'm sure that's the last thing you want anyway, but I think it's important to discuss where we're all going to be after this. We love the baby, honey, and you and I speak for everyone when we say we want to support you."

Haley took a deep breath. She had been so focused on Haley's recovery that she hadn't given much thought to what would happen when it was all over.

"Well, I guess Taylor goes home with Lillian and me. Karen, you've been so good to me and I really appreciate it. I know you have your own life with Andy but if you didn't mind staying on for a few days…"

"No problem, sweetie. Whatever you need."

"Dan has to get back to Tree Hill", Deb announced. "But once he is settled, if it's okay, I'd like to come back up for visits."

"I'd like that, too", Haley said softly.

"And you know I'm just a few blocks away", Chris nodded. "Whatever you need, James."

"I'm gonna stay", Nathan added. "I don't know for how long but I feel like I should be here. I guess I'll find a hotel closer to Haley's place."

"Have you thought about subletting, honey?" Deb asked, wrapping her arms around her son.

"Yeah. I've looked into it. Some things have come up, it just might take a few days before they become available and all…"

"Why don't you come stay with us?" Taylor offered.

Everyone collectively gasped, most of all Haley.

"Taylor…"

"What? The man wants to be close to his daughter and we could use all the help we can get. Besides, it's only for a few days, right? So what do you say, Nate? The sofa in the living room pulls out into a hell of a comfortable bed."

Nathan took a deep breath as all eyes turned to him waiting for his response.

"If Haley's cool with it, then alright."

Haley nodded.

"If it's just for a couple of days…okay."

"Now that that's all settled", Brooke said. "Nathan, does that sublet of yours have two bedrooms?"

"Yeah…why?"

"Good. Because Broody and I will be moving in, too."

"We will?" Lucas questioned.

"You bet we will and don't look at me like that because as nosy as you are, you know if we went back to Philly we'd just be making the trip up here every other day. So we may as well spend the rest of the summer here."

"You don't mind, babe? I mean, I feel bad asking you to do this."

"You're not asking. I'm offering."

Lucas smiled and kissed her.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"I know. I get it often, too", she grinned.

"I mean it, Brooke. I will make this up to you, I swear."

"Of course you will", she reached in her purse. "And I know just how you're going to do it."

"What the hell are these?"

"Two tickets to the Bahamas. We leave tomorrow morning for six days of much needed relaxation and sex that doesn't involve a two minute quickie in the shower."

"My ears", Karen groaned.

Brooke and Lucas blushed.

"Whoops! Sorry Karen…and Deb. But anyway. You guys get what I mean. After a week away vacationing, we will be refreshed and no doubt ready to return to whatever drama will be waiting for us."

Lucas looked at his brother.

"Sound cool?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Great", Taylor sighed. "Everybody is settled and happy. Now little Jamma is resting and the doctor says she's going to be okay. Dare I propose we all get out of here and have dinner at a decent restaurant? I'll call security for a car for us and a decoy one for the paparazzi."

"Sounds good", Karen shrugged.

"Excellent! I know a great little place where the lobster is a hundred bucks a pop."

Chris narrowed his eyes.

"You paying, Taylor?"

"I would but seeing how everyone in this room is richer than me…let me think about it. Uh, no."

Everyone laughed as they finally had something to celebrate. A group of people with a reason to smile finally and forget, even if only for a few hours, the pain and sadness.

"Uh, thanks for the invite but I think I'll take a rain check."

"You sure, Chris? It's cool…"

"I know but uh…some other time", he nodded, eyeing Nathan before saying his good byes and leaving.

"You coming, Haley?" Deb asked.

"I don't know. Maybe I should hang around here."

"You can come right back. The baby will be fine. Besides, I think it'll do you some good to get out."

Haley sighed and managed to smile.

"Okay but only for a little while."

The others filed ahead to the waiting car while Nathan purposely lingered behind.

"You okay?" he asked Haley.

"I'm more than okay. I'm thrilled. Lillian is okay. That's all I ever wanted anyway. You have no idea how relieved I am."

Nathan looked at the floor before meeting her eyes.

"Yeah…actually, I do."

She stared at him for a bit.

"Yeah…I guess you do."

"Look, Hales, I know Taylor was just trying to help but if it's not cool about me crashing at your place, I'll find somewhere else."

"No, it's fine. I don't mind. It's just for few days anyway. We're adults. We can get through this."

"I know but with everything that's happened with you and me…"

Haley shook her head.

"This isn't about you and me, Nathan. It's about Lillian. From now on whatever we do, it has to be all about her."

"Yeah…I guess you're right."

Haley nodded.

"I guess we better get going."

"Yeah…um, thanks for doing this. I mean it."

"No need to thank me. I'm doing this for my daughter…our daughter."


	160. The Longest Night

"You comfortable?" Karen whispered.

"Yeah", Haley said.

"Sorry if I'm a cover hog. I guess it's all those years of sleeping alone. I wake up in the mornings wrapped up and poor Andy is shivering in his boxers, especially during the winter."

"I'm okay."

The two women closed their eyes and as soon as they were near sleep, it started again. Jamarah wailed loudly from her bassinet just a few feet away from the bed. Haley groaned out loud.

"Why won't she sleep for more than ten minutes?" the new mother asked aloud. "It's my turn. I'll get her."

Haley rose from her spot and picked up her crying child.

"Is she wet?" Karen asked.

"No."

"Muddy?"

Haley managed to grin.

"No. Her diaper is fine and she can't be hungry. I just fed her. Oh Karen, I am so sorry…"

"Don't apologize. Babies cry. I remember Lucas like it was yesterday."

Haley walked the floor with the baby and sang to her in an attempt to quiet her down. The screaming only persisted.

"Nothing's working. I don't know what's wrong with her."

There was a knock on the door and Brooke let herself in.

"Everything okay?" she yawned.

"Yeah, we're fine. Someone's just extremely fussy tonight."

"Fussy? I just came here to make sure you two weren't lighting her on fire. That's what it sounds like."

"Sorry, Brooke."

A sleepy Lucas entered the room.

"You guys need some help?" he yawned.

"We're fine, honey", Karen sighed. "Go back to bed."

Taylor joined the group.

"Don't worry. Big sister to the rescue", she threw her hands up as she reached for Jamarah.

"It's okay", Haley intercepted. "She's just being fussy. Get some sleep. I'll quiet her down."

"Sis, you've been saying that for three hours now."

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Sorry. Tay, I'm trying, alright?" she snapped.

"Let me take her…"

"No, Taylor, I've got it."

Now it was Taylor's turn to be exasperated.

"Obviously you don't. Look, Hay it's certain things she likes…"

"Well, I will figure it out."

"Don't be so defensive. I'm just trying to help…"

"Well, don't!"

"Haley…"

"She's my daughter, Taylor!"

"I know that. But I did take care of her for six weeks. I think I can handle it. You want to learn, that's fine but can your lessons start tomorrow, maybe? Everybody in this apartment, no the building, hell the city, would like to get some sleep. Let me just take her."

Taylor reached for Jamarah but Haley swatted her hand away.

"I've got her, Tay!"

"I don't think you do."

"Shut up and mind your own business."

"Jamma is my business!"

"Okay, okay, okay! Everubody just stop!" Karen commanded. "Jamarah is a baby and babies cry. It's not the end of the world. Haley has it. Taylor, go back to bed. Lucas and Brooke, you have a very early flight. Try to get some sleep in the meantime."

"But Karen…"

"No buts. I mean it! Everybody out of this room!"

Reluctantly, everyone followed orders, even Nathan who had been quietly observing from the corner. Karen closed the door as Haley cradled the baby.

"I'm really sorry about this", she apologized again.

"It's okay, Haley."

Haley patted her daughter's back.

"I know you're thinking I should just give her to Taylor so she can shut up and we can all go to sleep."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. I can tell you're thinking it."

"Haley…"

"She's my baby, Karen."

"Honey, I know that. We all know that."

"I'm her mom. It's my job to take care of her. Maybe I couldn't do it before but I can do it now and I will too."

"I know. It's okay."

Haley was almost in tears herself. It had been hours and the baby was no closer to settling down. Her frustration was growing but so was her determination. Karen watched wordlessly as the stubborn young mother bounced the little girl around until finally she was sleeping. Haley was so tired herself she could have fallen asleep standing up but she held out until Lillian had been out for almost half an hour. Creeping over to the bassinet, she slowly and carefully deposited her daughter into it. 5-4-3-2…1. Haley tiptoed backwards and it started all over again. With all her medical woes, no one could say Jamarah's lungs didn't work.

"Haley…"

"It's okay, Karen. I've got her", Haley sighed as they went back to square one.

Haley continued to rock the baby who was content to be held as long as they were standing and in some type of motion. When she was semi content, Haley walked to the kitchen. Maybe she hadn't given her enough formula before. Maybe a bottle would do the trick.

Haley, exhausted and blinking away sleep, opened the refrigerator to retrieve the prepared bottle. Balancing a baby in one hand, she warmed it up like Taylor and Karen had shown her. She struggled to put a few drops on her arm to test the milk's temperature.

"You alright?"

She jumped when she heard Nathan. Getting used to living with her ex, even if it only was for a few days, would take some major getting used to. She tried not to look at him standing there arms folded, clad in only workout pants that hung a little too low past his hip joints. He'd always had a nice body but it was evident he hadn't missed too many days at the gym over the years.

"I'm fine."

"Need some help?"

"No…actually yes", she sighed. "If you could just grab that bottle and towel…"

"No problem", he handed it to her when she was settled.

"Thanks."

"Is she always up this late?" he chuckled as his daughter stared at him with her one blue eye.

Haley looked at their daughter sadly.

"I…I don't know. I guess she cries a lot. I…I had the depression thing when she was born so Taylor spent most of the time taking care of her."

"Oh. Um, that's cool, of Taylor, I mean."

"Yeah, it's just that I'm not very good at this whole mothering thing yet."

"Doesn't look that way to me", he blurted out softly.

What was more beautiful than her in her Cookie Monster nightgown, blondish auburn curls pulled in a messy bun, sans make up, holding their little girl?

"Thanks", she blushed in the dim light.

"Can I hold her? I mean, if you don't mind…"

Haley nodded as she carefully handed over the baby. Nathan awkwardly cradled her and they both giggled softly as some of the milk spilled out of Lillian's mouth. Haley gingerly wiped the child's face as they stood there holding her. It was a perfect, serene moment, then it started again. The child was not happy and didn't mind letting her parents and everyone else in New York know it.

"I'm sorry", Haley sighed. "I'm just gonna take her back to my room…"

"Okay", he nodded. "Uh, if you need some help…"

"We'll be fine. I'm just sorry you can't sleep."

"I'll be okay."

Haley took Lillian back to the room but no amount of cradling, feeding, singing or walking would bring comfort to her little angel.

"Haley…"

"Karen, it's okay. I've got her."

"Haley, honey, maybe…"

Tears welled in Haley's eyes.

"I know what you're going to say but I just can't, alright? You know how that makes me feel as a mother that I can't quiet my own child? It makes me feel like a failure, Karen."

"You're not a failure, Haley and there is no harm in asking for a little help sometimes."

Haley gave way to fatigue and tears.

"I just want to be her mother", she sobbed. "I want to do this so badly. I want to make it up to her for not being there before."

"I know you do, honey. It's okay."

Sighing and tears streaming down her face, she walked a few feet down the hall to Taylor's room. She knocked softly once and her older sister answered. Without words, she handed her the crying child.

"Hey you", Taylor cooed. "Hey, little one. How's my Jamma? Huh? Why is Auntie's big girl making all the fuss?"

After a few strokes to the cheek and some baby talk, Lillian was cooing in her aunt's arms.

"Thanks", Haley mouthed, shaking.

"Haley bub, it'll be okay. I'm not trying to take your place. Really. It'll just take a few days for her to get used to you."

Haley nodded and kissed her daughter one last time before retreating back to her room and sobbing in her bed. Karen held her as she cried herself to sleep.


	161. The Boogeyman

Haley nervously sat on the bed by the bassinet. It had been a few days since Lillian's homecoming. She had made an honest and sincere effort to bond with her baby. Slowly but surely they were making progress. The child still preferred her aunt at certain times but she had become accustomed to her mother's touch and voice. It was a step and Haley would take what she could get.

But the day had come that she had been dreading. That afternoon she had put Karen on a plane back to North Carolina. She had been a surrogate mother to her and had been there to help in Haley's darkest hours of need. But the saintly brunette had her own life and it was time for her to return to it. And on top of all that, Taylor and some friends had decided to spend a few days partying at the Jersey Shore. Lucas and Brooke were still on their romantic island vacation. That only left a baby and two very frightened awkward parents.

She waited with nervous anticipation for her child to wake and after almost an hour if just staring at her, Lillian's eyes fluttered open. She was fussy at first but seemed to calm the minute her mother held her.

"It's okay", Haley cooed.

She held the contented child close and all seemed to be going well as rain drops fell on the roof. Out the window in the distance, Haley could see a flash of lightening. It seemed a mild storm was on the horizon but a loud clap of thunder caused Mother to jump and Baby to scream.

"You okay, Hales?" Nathan asked.

Haley walked back to the living room.

"We're fine. The thunder scared her."

Nathan peered outside.

"Looks like it's going to be a big one", he observed.

"Maybe I should go ahead and make dinner. Would you hold her for a bit?"

Nathan nodded and took their daughter while Haley got busy in the kitchen. For the most part Lillian was being good but Nathan couldn't escape the irony of the moment. After everything that had happened, a year before if someone had told him he would be in Haley James' loft watching her make their dinner while he held their baby, he would have told them they were crazy. But it wasn't crazy. It was real and true.

"Okay", she said, setting up a spot for two plates on the coffee table. "Fettuccini noodles with homemade Alfredo sauce and chicken, Caesar salad on the side and toasted garlic bread. It's not much but eat up."

Nathan stared at the delicious spread before him. Even in their younger days, she had gone to great lengths to make sure the food always was arranged neatly and appealingly on the plates, even if the ones they used back in the day were mostly made of styrofoam.

He had always had a thing for Italian meals and she had never disappointed. Maybe it was being taught by Karen or maybe it was the result of being one of six kids in a hard working family but whatever it was, it was no denying Haley was a damned good cook. She always made the noodles just right and her Alfredo sauce tasted much better than anything out of a box or bottle. Then she would dice and slowly marinate the chicken, serving it up with a salad she put together by hand, included the grated cheeses and toast browned and seasoned and buttered to perfection.

"This is good, Hales", Nathan complimented her between mouthfuls.

"Thanks. I'm just glad you like it."

"Like it?" he laughed. "I'm just wondering what I owe you after this."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't tell me you forgot."

She thought for a minute.

"Sorry but I have no idea what you're talking about…"

"Let's see…after the time you put a dent in the car, the time you wanted me to let you keep that stray litter of kittens until you could find a home for them, every time you wanted me to watch one of your gay teeny soap operas instead of the game…and uh, basically anytime you wanted anything, you always made this meal as a bribe. You knew it was my favorite."

Haley blushed as she returned his smile. She did remember. It wasn't something she had consciously done after all the years but somehow as she gravitated towards her kitchen, it seemed the natural thing to make. Funny how she hadn't known why at the time.

"Oh my gosh. I had totally forgotten, Nathan. As I recall my secret sauce did win you over a time or two."

"It's one of my favorite things to eat in the world but I'd always get nervous when you made it because I knew something was up and it was going to cost me."

Haley giggled.

"There was one other time I used to make this for you, too…"

She stopped mid sentence. Her cheeks burned bright crimson as Nathan caught her gaze and hidden meaning.

"Oh I remember", he teased.

"Okay, okay. That was a long time ago. Can we just drop it, please?"

"What?" he grinned. "Afraid I might say it out loud?"

"Don't you dare", she playfully swatted at him.

"You would always make this the night after…"

"Nathan Daniel Scott, don't! There's a child in the room."

Nathan laughed so hard his sides hurt.

"Haley, she's two months old. I doubt she understands or cares that her mommy used to make this as reward for daddy laying the pipe extra good the night before."

"Nathan!" Haley shouted, covering her face.

"What? It's true. That was the deal…I gave you more than two orgasms, I got my pasta."

"I can't believe you."

"It's true."

She laughed as she looked away.

"Actually, it was three."

"Two."

"Three."

"Hales, are you sure?"

"Sure, I'm sure. It used to be two but then you were giving me two a night, every night so we upped it to three because we couldn't afford that much chicken."

Both looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Yeah, you're right. Those were the good old days."

She looked at him.

"We had some good times…"

Her voice trailed off. The key word was "had". Those days were long ago and long gone. Not even a few shared memories or a hearty laugh could completely erase their checkered past together.

"I'll um, I'll get the dishes", he cleared his throat.

"It's okay. I'll get them."

"Let me, Haley."

"Really, it's fine. Lillian's sleeping and…"

Their hands brushed and Haley jerked away like she had literally touched fire. They were standing so close.

"Haley…" Nathan began in a deep voice.

She couldn't make herself look at him, grateful as a knock on the door interrupted their tension filled banner.

"I'll get the door", she murmured.

Struggling to catch her breath, she opened it.

"Surprise!"

Haley's mouth dropped opened. Surprise was un understatement. Hadn't those two ever heard of a phone?

"We came to see our daughters and our newest granddaughter", Jim announced.

"Taylor isn't here."

"Don't just stand there. Don't you have a hug for your mom and dad?"

Haley closed her eyes as she enveloped them.

"Hey guys. It's good to see you."

"We've missed you, Haley bub. Now where is that precious grandbaby of ours?"

"She's sleeping…"

"Wow, you look great, Haley! Who would know you just had a baby?"

"Um, thanks…"

"You okay, sweetheart?" Jim asked. "Looks like you just tumbled out of bed. Did we disturb you?"

Lydia peered in and upon seeing her sheepish looking former son in law, elbowed her husband and cleared her throat.

"Um, I…I can explain. Nathan is visiting for the summer. He wanted to help out and be close to Lillian."

"No need to explain to us", Lydia teased. "You're adults and after all, you were married once."

The James' made their way inside. Nathan nervously shuffled his feet. He hadn't seen them in years and with everything that had happened, he was nervous about how they would receive him after so much passed time.

"Get over here and give us a hug", Jim grinned, immediately easing his fears. "It's been a long time, Nate."

His former in laws embraced him.

"Too long. It's nice to see you, Mr. James, Mrs. James. How have you been?"

"Just groovy", Lydia grinned. "And stop with all this Mr. and Mrs. stuff. Call is Lydia and Jim, please. And to answer your question, we've been all over these united states the last eight years. Every tour, museum, amusement park, national landmark…we've been there haven't we, Jim? And had a ball doing it. How have you been?"

Nathan shrugged and looked away. Stupid question.

"I'm alright."

"We've heard you run into some troubles, son", Jim acknowledged sympathetically. "We've been praying for you. We hope it all works out."

"Thanks."

From either the loud, excessive noise or lack of attention, Lillian began to fuss.

"Who do we have here?" Lydia grinned, picking her up. "Hey sweetie girl. It's Gran."

"She's a beauty", Jim smiled proudly. "Hey, that different colored eye thing is pretty cool. I thought it would be freaky."

"It's just a birthmark, Daddy", Haley laughed.

"I know, pumpkin but we'd never heard of that. But I did hear this story once about a baby being born with a full set of teeth. Talk about giving me the willies", he frowned. "Now that's one hell of a birthmark."

"You're making that up", Haley smiled.

"Am not. Scout's honor."

Another loud clap of thunder and the lights flickered before the place went completely black.

"I knew that was gonna happen", Haley sighed. "You guys hang tight. Let me grab a flashlight and some candles."

Haley felt her way around in the darkness. After a few minutes of stumbling around and cursing, she finally found a flashlight and some matches to light the candles.

"Got it, Haley?"

"Yeah", she said, setting the candles down. "Hopefully the storm will pass over soon. The power shouldn't be out too long."

They all sat down and played with Lillian who after tiring of all the adults around her every few minutes, would begin to scream her little head off. A half an hour later, there was a knock at the door. Haley jumped. She had always been the fidgety type.

"Who the hell could that be in this weather?" she wondered out loud as she took her flashlight with her.

"The Boogeyman", Jim quipped.

Haley rolled her eyes as she opened the door. She shined the light onto Deb, accompanied by the smirking face the one and only Dan Scott. Haley turned off the flashlight.

"Who is it, Haley bub?" her mother asked.

"I told you Lydia, it's the Boogeyman", Jim laughed again.

"Close enough", Haley muttered.


	162. Nathan and Haley's Worst Fear Realized

The lights came back on just in time for everyone to see Dan's smiling face.

"I'm sorry", Deb apologized as the entered the loft.

Haley was silent as he former father in law breezed into her home .

"Well, well, well", he smirked. "Deb, look what else the cat dragged in. Lydia, Jim, it's always a pleasure."

"Dan, Deb", they acknowledged.

Nathan was fuming.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

Dan feigned confusion as he put on an act and innocently scratched his head.

"To see our granddaughter, of course."

Deb stepped between them.

"Nathan, honey, I'm sorry to just ambush you like this without calling. But with Karen back to manage the café, I realized I could steal a day or two away. I really wanted to see you and Haley and Lillian, of course. I was worried. Your father insisted on accompanying me", she looked tersely at Dan.

Lillian began to cry again and Deb immediately joined Lydia as the two grandmothers lovingly tended to the baby.

"Isn't this just cozy?" Dan laughed out loud as he went to take a seat. "Jimbo, why don't you grab my bag, will you?"

"Dad!" Nathan yelled.

Haley couldn't take it anymore. She saw where the disastrous evening was headed and she didn't like it. Where was Karen, when they needed her to restore law and order?

"Okay, everybody listen up", she breathed. "This…this isn't going to work. I'm sorry. Now I know you're Lillian's grandparents and you love her and you want to see her. I know you're worried about her and visiting is fine but next time a phone call and a little advance notice would be much appreciated."

"You're right, honey", Lydia apologized. "We should have called first. We're sorry. We were just so anxious to get here and check on you…"

"It's fine, Mom, it's just that there isn't enough room in this apartment. Taylor lives here too and she's liable to come breezing back through at anytime. And there is baby stuff everywhere and Nathan is crashing on the couch…"

"How convenient", Dan quipped.

"Haley, it's no problem. No need to explain", Jim put his arm around his daughter. "Your mother and I will sleep in the RV."

"The paparazzi will have a field day with that one", Dan rolled his eyes. "The Clampett's come to the big city and sleep in their motor home. All we're missing are Jeff Foxworthy and the Blue Collar TV cameras."

"Listen, buddy…" Jim started to get mad.

"Stop!" Haley said again. "Goodness. Daddy, just calm down. Don't pay any attention to him. And Mr. Scott, quit egging him on! You know, it's one thing for you to continuously launch your little verbal attacks at me but you're not going to come in my house and disrespect my parents."

"This was a mistake", Deb sighed.

"Damn right it was", Nathan agreed. "Mom, I think I can speak for Haley and say you're welcomed here anytime but Dad, it isn't a two for one invitation."

"Excuse me, son?"

"Maybe, Nathan wasn't clear enough for you so let me spell it out. You are not welcomed in my house. I don't want you here and I don't want you around Lillian. Please leave."

Jim squeezed Haley's arm. He had seen Dan Scott in action over the years and the man had always looked down on them and treated their family with disdain. Still as depraved as he was, Lillian was still his grandchild, too.

"Haley bub, wait. I know Danny here isn't your favorite person in the world but he is here to see his granddaughter…"

"Listen to the man", Dan nodded.

"Daddy, don't defend him! And Mr. Scott, you…well, you just shut up! Don't sit there and act all innocent and play the part of the loving, concerned grandpa. Everyone one in this room knows what you are."

Dan looked disgusted.

"Must we forget that it is I, when no one else in this room and the world in fact, came to your daughter's aid. But I guess that's over now. You got what you needed so to hell with me, right? What, Haley, did I save Lillian's life wrong or something?"

Haley folded her arms. By accepting any gift from Dan Scott, came the cold, harsh reality that one would be permanently indebted to him. He would hold the favor over your head for the rest of your life. But this was far more crucial than accepting a house or a car or even money. Like it or not, Dan had given the gift of life.

"And what did it take to get you to do that, Mr. Scott, or have you forgotten?"

Dan looked at Haley, the James', his wife, then his son.

"Just leave, man", Nathan mouthed.

Not that it had ever stopped him before, but he knew he wasn't wanted and this time around he looked utterly defeated. For a few split seconds, Haley actually wanted to feel sorry for him but she quickly remembered what had happened the last time she had fallen for his crocodile tears.

"Dan, I…I think we should go now", Deb said quietly. "Nathan, Haley, I'm sorry about this. I'll call ahead tomorrow to see if it's possible I can have a visit with Lillian."

Nathan and Haley nodded, never wavering from their newfound united front.

"Very well", Dan stood. "I can see that your minds are both made up obviously. I can't say that I much blame you."

His voice grew softer but Nathan wasn't falling for it.

"Good night, Dad", he rolled his eyes, opening the door.

Dan had the look of an abandoned puppy.

"Good night, son and Haley, Jim, Lydia."

They started to leave and Deb placed one last kiss on her grandchild's forehead. The baby began to wail again. Lydia passed her to Jim who passed her to Nathan who in turn passed her to Haley. The little girl was not content in anyone's arms.

"Can I just say good night to Lillian?" Dan asked as he looked back. "Please."

His voice was practically pleading. Haley rolled her eyes.

"You've got five seconds", she told him.

He nodded and walked over to her. He smiled as he took the baby in his arms. Instantly, there was this inexplicable connection. Not only did Lillian stop crying, she seemed to calm drastically in her grandfather's embrace. Within seconds the tears were gone and she was cooing.

"Holy shit, is that a smile?" Nathan asked in disbelief.

The others were just as shocked.

"Wow", Lydia shook her head. "Who knew?"

Haley was unnerved. Lillian bonding with her was a slow and tedious process. How was it possible for one so innocent to immediately take to one so evil?

"I'll take her now", Haley said hastily, reaching for Lillian.

As soon as she had a grip on the baby, she began to howl again. It was a scream so shrill and loud that out of fear and reflex, Haley immediately handed her back over to Dan. Once in his arms, she was happy and gurgling again. Everyone was perplexed.

"Deb, maybe we should stay on for a few minutes, at least until Lillian is asleep…that is if Nathan and Haley don't mind", he suggested, feeling quite pleased with himself.

Haley didn't know quite what to say.

"Um, okay…for a little while, I guess."

They watched as he cooed, played, tickled, held and sappily baby talked to his granddaughter who was seeming to eat it all up.

"Unbelievable", Nathan muttered. "I just don't get it."

"Easy", Dan grinned. "We have a very, very special connection. We understand each other…don't we, Lillian?"


	163. Won't You Be My Neighbor?

"Man, we're just gonna be here for a couple of months. I don't see why she needs all this stuff", Nathan pointed out.

Lucas shrugged as a delivery man moved more furniture into the once empty apartment.

"I heard that, Boytoy", Brooke bellowed. "And you're lucky shopping and decorating put me in a good mood so for your snide comments, I won't tear your head off…this time. And for your information, even though we'll only be in the apartment for a few months, adding a personal touch of art and pictures and furniture truly makes a house a home."

The men just rolled their eyes. A place had become available sooner than later and just their luck, it so happened to be in Haley's building. Just three floors down, a two bedroom apartment was vacant and ready to be leased. The location was more than convenient and easy access to Lillian. Nathan had jumped on it and before he knew it, was moving in with Lucas and Brooke. Telling Brooke Davis to keep the décor small and simple was like speaking Russian…she just didn't get it. Putting her professional skills to the test, she had the place revamped as the trio was moving their clothes and personal belongings in.

"It's usually easier not to argue with her", Lucas shrugged with a slight smile.

Nathan nodded.

"Thanks, man."

"What for?"

"For all of this. For everything."

"It's no big deal."

"But it is. You've been there for me time and time again but I really appreciate your support this time, especially with Hales and Lillian and all the stuff with Megan…"

His voice trailed off as he hadn't mentioned his wife in a very long time.

"How is she?"

"I don't know", he sighed. "I still don't know where she is and in the letter she said don't come look for her. I guess she needs her space."

"You call her folks?"

"Yeah but uh once everything pretty much broke about me being Lillian's father, it's safe to say they hate my guts."

"Sorry about that, bro."

"It's cool. It's my own doing, I guess. Can't say that I really blame them."

"So how is everything with the press or should I even ask? This might seem unbelievable but Brooke actually managed to enjoy our vacation enough to leave the magazines alone for a few days. I am out of the celebrity gossip loop, so to speak."

"Same old, same old. Lillian's paternity is still the topic of choice. It kind of pisses me off, though. I mean, I don't give a shit if they talk about me. And Haley is famous too so she's used to it but what really makes me mad is when I see my kid's photo plastered all over those trash rags. It's not fair to her and I can't do a damned thing about it."

"Maybe you guys should just address it. Come clean."

"Why? It's no one's business but our own."

"True but there's this unfortunate and unwritten rule that says when you become a celebrity, you basically lose all rights to privacy or a normal life. Maybe you should go on the record and set it straight. If not, they can just keep going on printing their lies. Face it, Nate. We know how those vultures work. Anything to make a buck. This isn't gonna go away on its own."

Nathan sighed.

"I know, man. You're right. I'll deal with it after the divorce. Meg said she would forward the papers. I don't know…I just don't feel right discussing Haley and especially Lillian in public right now while we're still married. It seems kind of disrespectful. The least I could do is wait."

"That makes sense. Do what you have to do, dude. I'm just glad Lillian is okay and you and Hales…"

"What about us?" Nathan cut him off.

Lucas laughed.

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Don't put the buggy before the horse, man. Geez! Why so defensive? I was just saying it's great you guys are trying to get along and stuff."

"Oh."

"It's gonna be okay, little brother. Trust me. You're doing the right thing. There is no sense in having this animosity between you guys especially when there's a child involved. I think this situation is going to work out. And no matter what, Brooke and I will be here for you."

"Appreciate it, man", Nathan knocked fists with him.

"Broody!" Brooke called from inside. "Come help me! I need your opinion about where to put this vase."

Nathan raised an amused eyebrow.

"You decorating now, Luke?"

"Shut it, man!"

"How cute. You better go. Oh and when you're done, stop by my room. I've spent all morning trying to figure out which side of the bed to put my lamp on."

"When I get back, remind me to shove my fist down your throat", Lucas sulked as he scurried off to the bedroom.

Nathan just smiled and shook his head as he looked around the place that would be home for the next few months or so.

"Knock, knock", Haley tapped softly.

"Come in", Nathan turned around.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Wow. Place looks nice."

"Hurricane Brooke got a hold of it."

"I see", she smiled. "She did a nice job."

Nathan shoved his hands in his pockets.

"So…how's Lillian?"

"Great. Taylor has her now. We just got back from her check up."

"You should have told me and I would have gone…"

"I know but you were busy moving."

"How'd it go?"

"Good. Her immune system is fine. All the tests are coming back normal and by all accounts her body accepted the donor marrow beautifully."

He couldn't help but grin.

"That's great. I…I'm glad."

"Yeah…me too."

Both looked at the floor. Those awkward silences would creep up on them every now and then when least expected.

"Listen, Haley, I…I hope you're cool with all this. Me moving here, I mean."

"Huh? Oh yeah. It's fine. We talked about it…"

"I know. We agreed somewhere close by but I don't think either one of us expected it would be this close. You sure you're not sketched out by me living in your building?"

She nodded.

"It's cool. Really. I'm fine with it. At least you're close to Lillian."

"Yeah."

"But there is one thing…"

"What's that?"

"Nathan, I don't have to school you on the media. They're relentless when they want a story. Right now our lives and our pictures sell magazines. I just want to warn you…they try to sneak in the building, they snoop through our trash, they hound you at all hours. It's tough. I know you know that but if they find out you're actually living here, well, it's just gonna make it worse. I…I want you to be prepared for that. It could get ugly."

"I can handle it. It sucks but I'm used to it. We'll figure it all out."

"Okay", she nodded. "Sounds good. Um, listen, I actually came down to see if my three newest neighbors would be interested in joining us upstairs for dinner."

Nathan smiled at the invite.

"Depends…what are you cooking?"

"What do you feel like eating?"

He thought for a bit before answering with a sly wink.

"Chicken and Alfredo."

She caught his reference and blushed, looking away.

"How about Pot Roast, Mashed Potatoes and homemade rolls."

"With Mac and Cheese?"

"You know it", she grinned. "Because it's the food of…"

"Food of the gods, I know, I know."

Haley looked surprised.

"Oh my God. You…you remember that."

"I remember everything", he said softly.

"My God! Who decorated this place? Whoever decorated has impeccable taste…of wait it was me", Brooke grinned as she and Lucas reemerged from the back. "Tutor Neighbor! What brings you by?"

"Um, I was just inviting you guys up for dinner later."

"You cooking?"

"Yeah."

"Then we're coming. Count on seeing me and the brothers Scott at around sixish."

Haley nodded.

"Okay. I'll see you guys then."

Haley turned to leave with a wave, feeling a pair of steely blue eyes watching her every move as she walked away. It was okay now but then again it was their first day there. What would the future hold? The very idea made Haley shudder and wonder just what exactly had she gotten herself into?


	164. Anyone Need A Plumber?

"Hales, your faucet's leaking. You might want to call the maintenance guy or a plumber", Lucas suggested.

It had been a few days since Lucas, Nathan and Brooke had moved in to the apartment a few floors down from Haley's. All had been going surprisingly well and the three spent most of their times upstairs with Haley and baby Lillian.

"No problem", she disappeared, returning a few minutes later lugging a toolbox.

Lucas laughed out loud.

"What are you going to do, fix it yourself?"

"As a matter of fact, yes", Haley said, spreading out her tools and rolling up her sleeves as she assumed the handyman position.

"You have got to be kidding me."

"It's easy", Haley shrugged. "Why call someone when you can do it yourself? Listen, all the faucets in this building are a compression type. All I have to do is shut off the water supply and tighten the screw."

"Sounds like you need a few of the screws in your head tightened", Brooke scoffed. "This is so not what famous rock stars do. J. Lo would never fix her faucet."

Haley laughed as she rolled her eyes.

"Quit your pissing and moaning and hand me the screwdriver, will you, Tigger?"

"Iiiieeeww", Brooke frowned as she picked it up with the tips of her forefinger and thumb, practically tossing it at her friend. "So gross."

"Brooke, for Christ's sake, that's an ice pick. Luke, Nathan, can someone help her out, please?"

The men could no longer stifle their laughter as they handed Brooke the correct tool.

"Hey!" she pouted. "You guys totally did that on purpose! Boyfriend, no sex for you tonight."

It was then Luke's turn to pout.

"Nathan made me do it."

But Nathan wasn't even paying the couple any attention. All his thoughts were focused on the cuffed jeans and burgundy painted toes that peeked out from underneath the sink. God, there was something sexy about a woman who could not only be a girlie girl, but when the time called for it, she knew how to roll up her sleeves and get down and dirty.

But Haley had always been like that. She'd always had a slight tomboy like element to her, even when they first met. And when they got married, she was always game for helping him complete the "manly" household chores…

_It had been a good night…warm weather and Lucas, Mouth, Fergie, Skills, Tim and the rest of the guys had gathered down by the River Court for an impromptu basketball game. Nathan had kicked butt as usual and as much fun as he was having, declined an invitation for a second game. He had nothing to prove and furthermore, he had something none of the others had…a beautiful wife waiting for him at home. So amidst all the whistles and teasing and playful name calling of "bitch" and "pussy whipped motherfucker", he had taken it with a grin and a gain of salt as he made the walk back to the apartment. Humming some toothpaste jingle to himself, he entered their front door._

"_Hales, I'm home", he called out._

"_Nathan!"_

_Haley was frantic. Her face was flushed and tear stained. Her brown eyes were red rimmed and puffy. She came at him at 60 mph, arms flailing._

"_Hales, what's wrong?" he asked concerned._

_She could barely speak._

"_You're gonna be so mad…"_

"_No, I won't. Babe, whatever it is, just tell me."_

"_I…I was washing dishes and…and…and, and my wedding ring slipped off and went down the drain."_

_She was damned near hysterical._

"_It's okay", he said, rubbing her bare shoulders. "Hales, calm down. We'll call the maintenance guy in the morning. He can snake it out for us."_

_She shook her head. That wasn't good enough._

"_No! It'll be too late! Nathan, I want it now! Sweetie, there is no way I am going to sleep without my wedding ring!"_

_Haley meant business and he knew it._

"_Okay, okay", he said, trying to ease her mind._

_He did the only thing he knew how. Growing up in Casa Scott he had never learned to get his hands dirty so he went for the next best thing. He got on the phone and called his uncle. With step by step directions, Keith, over the phone, walked them through opening the drain and fetching the ring. As long as he lived Nathan would never forget the happy look on her face when they retrieved it. It brought joy to his heart to know the symbol of their love meant so much to her._

"_Think we should call him back to close it up?" Nathan asked her. "I don't know if I remember all his directions."_

"_It's easy. We're almost done anyway. All I have to do is tighten this nozzle and…"_

_A scream replaced her mid sentence as her hand slipped and water went everywhere._

"_Hales, watch it! What are you doing?"_

_They put their hands up in a feeble effort to make it stop but not before the floor and their clothes were soaked. Breathless, they surveyed the mess around them and then each other. Simultaneously, they burst out laughing. It was a shared hearty, gut busting, side splitting laugh that left them with tears coming out of their eyes._

"_Nice going, Little Miss Fix It", he teased._

"_Me? You're the guy, you're supposed to know this stuff."_

_Nathan stood but his foot slipped on the slick floor and he tumbled forwards, making them laugh out loud all over again._

"_I could have broken my neck and my wife is cracking up! Great, Hales", he grinned._

"_I'm laughing because I can't believe I married such a dork."  
_

"_Yeah? Well, you're gonna help this dork mop up this mess."_

"_I'll think about it", she teased._

"_Think about it", he grabbed her to her delight as he tried to scoop her up. "If you don't help me, I'm gonna throw you across this room like a three pointer, Mrs. Scott."_

"_Nathan, stop!" she squealed. "Don't you dare!"_

_They play wrestled until they fell down, Nathan on top. The laughter quickly subsided as their faces were mere inches apart. Their eyes were locked._

"_Hales…"_

"_What?" she smiled._

_He placed a strand of wet hair behind her ear._

"_Nothing…you're just so…you're so beautiful."_

_Haley blushed._

"_Stop it, Nathan. You're embarrassing me."_

_She smiled, sitting up and he noticed for the first time that her shirt was plastered to her body. Hard nipples poked out from the flimsy, damp material._

"_You have any idea how hot you are when you're wet?" he breathed._

_His eyes had turned a darker blue, clouded over by pure lust._

"_Why don't you take me to the bedroom and uh, I'll show you just how wet I can get", she licked her lips._

_He needed no further convincing. In one motion they were up, lips pressed passionately together, her arms around Nathan, feet barely dragging the floor as they stumbled back to their room. Her moans intensified as he hungrily nipped her neck and it was evident their passion wouldn't make it a few more seconds and a few feet away._

_They made it as far as the bathroom and he threw her onto the sink. Her Carpi pants were practically ripped off as she tugged furiously at his shirt. His basketball shorts and boxers made it to his ankles as he pushed her moist panties aside and thrust into her. Haley gasped, then groaned, digging her nails into him. For added pleasure, they turned on the bathroom faucet, splashing even more cold water onto their heated bodies as they made love feverishly. Who knew plumbing could be so fun?_

"…Hel-lo. Earth to Nathan", Haley called out again.

"Huh?" he said, snapped out of dream and flashback mode.

"You okay? I called your name like fifty times. I said, can you please hand me that monkey wrench? It's over on the table behind you."

"Oh yeah…sure."

Nathan stood but realized his movements were somewhat impaired. Looking down, he realized he had a full erection.

"Nate, you alright, man?" Lucas asked.

"What? Oh yeah. I'm fine. I, uh…I just realized I um, I have to go. I have this pain in my…stomach, yeah that's it."

"Can you at least hand over the wrench?" Haley asked again.

"Sorry, I have to go. It hurts really bad", he doubled over.

Haley slid out from underneath the sink.

"Okay but uh, why are you taking Lillian's diaper bag?" Haley asked, all eyes looking towards the bag that inconspicuously covering his crotch and mid section.

"Oh because, um, well…if, I mean when you come down later with the baby, you'll need it to change her diaper, right?"

"Okkkaaaayyyy…"

"Gotta go. I'll check you guys later."

Nathan dashed from the apartment to the puzzled look of three sets of eyes. On his way out, closing the door, he ran smack dab into what he thought was the wall. No such luck. It was the lanky frame of none other than Chris Keller.

"Well, if it isn't the Great White Hope", Chris quipped. "Nice purse by the way."

It took all Nathan had not to punch his lights out right there. If there was any cure for an impromptu woody, it would be the unexpected entrance of one Chris Keller. But Nathan did nothing. There wasn't much he could do except sulk as the man he had hated for years, the man he blamed losing everything on, walked into the apartment to visit his ex wife and daughter.

It didn't matter how much he had helped Haley over the years or how he had taken care of Lillian. Nathan saw red whenever they were in the same vicinity. Chris Keller was poison and Nathan's soul would never rest as long as the wannabe rock god with the quick smirk and even quicker tongue was lurking around.


	165. Who Wants Who?

Haley sat spread out on the floor with her many photo albums. In typical Haley James fashion, each book was in order by date and the pictures were neatly labeled. Nearby sat Brooke and Lucas, up for their normal, daily visit. The trio had been apart for years and even when they had reentered each other's lives, it had taken a short while for the period of sudden awkwardness to subside. Once it had, they were the same three old friends from Tree Hill again. Haley thoroughly enjoyed their frequent time together and was thrilled to share the last eight years of her life with them in photographs.

"This is me on the overseas USO tour entertaining the troops in Korea…"

"Oh God!" Brooke frowned. "Look at Wayne Newton's hair. It should have its own zip code."

Haley laughed.

"I know but he's a real sweetheart. Oh and that is me with the Dixie Chicks at Lillith Fair and that was one was at the President's Inaugural Ball…"

"Hales, is that you with your arm around 50 Cent?" Lucas grinned in disbelief.

"He's a cool guy. Real sweet and down to earth, not like you'd expect. I got to hang out with him for this Spring Break deal for MTV a few summers ago."

"And on the next page, you're playing guitar with Ozzy Osbourne. Unreal…"

"It's cool", Haley shrugged, reaching for another scrapbook. "I've been all over the world. See, that's the beautiful thing about music. It's made up of so many genres. Rap, country, rock, alternative, classical, pop, R&B…that variety is what makes the melting pot so special and if we're one genre short, then we're all lesser for it, you know? It may sound corny but I'm proud of it. I've performed with and hung out with and met everyone from Garth Brooks to Ricky Martin to Charlotte Church to Outkast."

"I'm proud of you, too, Hales", Lucas acknowledged. "You've led an extraordinary life and career. I'm glad you got to have that experience."

"Yeah…" she smiled sadly. "Me too."

"I guess it's pretty cool", Brooke added. "The money and the fame and all the perks like getting the best tables at the best restaurants and getting ahead to the VIP section in long lines at clubs and of course all the free and fabulous clothes and shoes, I mean hello!"

"It's fun, Tigger but it does have its setbacks. I think even Luke would agree with me on that one."

"Like?"

"I don't know. Like zero privacy. Like going down the block to get coffee with sweats on and no make up and then the next day seeing your godawful photo on the front cover of every major magazine. Like not being able to enjoy a single dinner without having 20 fans coming up to bug you for an autograph."

"Oh yeah…that."

"It's not all bad, Brooke. You're right, the perks are pretty great. The money is too. I get to do what I love. I meet other celebrities and I do adore my fans. But it's also a lot of hard work. The knife cuts both ways and it ain't all hunky dory all of the time."

"I get you but still it's a pretty great life. When I saw you sitting between Gwyneth Paltrow and Donatella Versace at her Italian fashion show last year, I almost died. I mean, way to go, Tutor Girl. I would have been in Heaven. Nothing could top that. Well, except of you got to meet Jennifer Lopez but that'll probably never happen so…"

"Jennifer Lopez?"

"Yeah. J. Lo. Jenny from the Block. The hottest, most talented, most fabulous queen diva to like ever live. She is so my idol."

Haley shrugged again.

"She's nice, much more than I expected. A little high maintenance but not the bitch the tabloids try to make her out to be. Jen gets kind of a bad rap."

Brooke's mouth dropped open as all the color drained from her face.

"Babe, you okay?" Lucas asked.

"No…No…oh my God! I'm having a seizure! No, worse! I'm hyperventilating! Broody, get me one of those little baggy things to breathe into. No! On second thought, I need a cool rag and a glass of iced water!"

"Brooke…" Haley laughed.

"Tutor Mom, how could you? You mean to tell me all this time, you have a close and personal relationship with the icon I worship and you don't tell me?"

"I wouldn't say it's a close and personal relationship…"

"But you know her?"

"You could say that. I've ran into her backstage at awards show. And she invited my publicist and me to her runway show. And…"

"Stop! Please! My heart can't take much more! You're trying to make me jealous. No, you're trying to kill me…"

"Brooke, calm down. Geez. It's not a big deal. I had no idea it meant that much to you. I'll tell you what, next time she comes back to town, I'll give her a call and maybe you guys could meet."

Brooke began jumping up and down.

"You'd do that for me? Oh Haley, I love you", she squealed as she picked up Lillian. "You hear that, kid? You have the most amazing mother like ever!"

"Brooke, be careful moving her around like that. She just ate and she'll…"

Too late. Lillian's milk came up all over her auntie's.

"…Puke all over you."

Brooke made a face as she handed the child back to her mother.

"Iiiieeeewww! Okay, I am totally skeeved right now. Baby puke is gross but for J. Lo…what the hell? I'm willing to let a little vomit slide", Brooke shrugged as she pulled her tank top over her head and tossed it in the wash.

Haley and Lucas laughed as she cleaned and changed Lillian.

"What's so funny?" Taylor grinned as she made her way into the kitchen area.

Everyone else's, particularly Brooke's, smile began to fade. Taylor was wearing skimpy shorts that left little to the imagination and a white tank top, minus a bra, that was practically see through.

"Tay…"

"What is it now, Hay?"

Haley rolled her eyes.

"We have company."

"So? It's just Lucas and Blair."

"Brooke", Brooke corrected with a scowl.

"Whatever", Taylor gave her a fake smile.

"So go put some clothes on, please", Haley insisted. "I know it's hot but damn."

"She's in her bra", Taylor pointed at Brooke.

"Yeah but Lillian threw up on her shirt. It's in the wash now."

"Nice work, Jamma", Taylor laughed at her niece. "But what's the big deal? I'm just lounging around the house on a hot, summer day. Didn't know I had to be dressed for the occasion. Sorry if I offended anyone."

"Well you did", Brooke smirked. "You might want to pick up the latest edition of Cosmo. There is a difference between sexy and skanky this year."

Taylor just smiled as she squeezed by them. Slowly and deliberately she bent over to pick up one of the baby's rattles from the floor. Lucas blushed and turned away at the incredible back view Taylor seemed to be intentionally giving him.

"I don't think your boyfriend seems to mind…do you, Luke?"

Lucas was at a loss for words.

"Taylor, bedroom, now!" Haley angrily instructed. "We have to talk."

The younger sister ushered the older woman behind closed doors that muffled raised voices. Lucas just put his head in his hands and laughed.

"And just what is so funny?" Brooke demanded.

"Taylor. She's such a…I don't know, she's just Taylor, I guess."

Brooke punched him in the arm.

"Shut up."

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"That was for her looking at you like she wants you on her plate and this…" she clocked him again, "is for you sitting here grinning like you're a damned Happy Meal."

"Brooke, come on. You know I'm not into her. She's not into me either, she was just messing with your head. That's just how she is. Besides, I think she has something going on with Keller."

"Chris? Puh-leaze, Broody, although they do deserve each other. Personally, I still think he has a thing for Haley. It could be mutual, you never know…"

"We on that again? Haley says it isn't so. Let's just drop it and believe her."

"I know but they have this little vibe going on. If he weren't so repulsive, it'd actually be kind of cute. And look at all her picture books? Who's smiling in practically every photo."

"Brooke…"

"I'm just saying. You never know. I just don't want poor Nathan to get his hopes up."

"Nathan is here for Lillian", Lucas reminded his girlfriend.

"I know, I know. I got the memo, Broody. I'm just saying, never say never. Know what I mean?"

And as if on cue, a key turned in the lock and Chris Keller, guitar in hand, let himself in.

"Speak of the devil", Lucas shook his head.

"What's up, Lucas? What's up, sexy? Nice to see you again today, Brooke."

"Again?" she frowned.

"Yeah because you were sure in my dreams this morning", he winked with a cocky smile.

Lucas just rolled his eyes.

"What a lame ass douche bag", he muttered loudly.

"Where are Haley and Jamma?"

"Haley and Lillian are in the back with Taylor."

"Cool", Chris shrugged, opening the fridge. "Haley remembered my Tofu this time. Rock on."

Lucas and Brooke exchanged glances as Haley rejoined them.

"Chris, get out of my refrigerator", she kicked him in his butt.

"You got me Tofu but where's the cottage cheese?"

"At the store, not get!"

He grinned and playfully kissed her cheek and the baby's as well.

"Nice to feel the love. Anyway, I see you're busy with your guests. I'll be in your room working on a new song."

Haley sighed.

"Sorry about my ingrate sister and her lack of manners earlier. I gave her the usual threat of behave or pay rent so that she should keep her nice for a few days at least", she half joked.

Lucas and Brooke smiled nervously.

"It's cool", they said together.

"You guys okay?" Haley asked.

They looked at Haley's bedroom and then at each other. Lucas shot Brooke a stern look to keep whatever comments she had to herself.

"Fine", he smiled. "Everything's just fine."


	166. Suspicions Confirmed

"I say something is going on."

Lucas rolled his eyes.

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"Whatever. Babe, can we just drop it?"

Brooke sighed heavily.

"Fine but you know I'm right so you may as well admit it."

"No, you're not right but I'm tired of talking about it so let's dead the conversation, please. Especially with you know who in the next room."

"If you insist but Nathan isn't stupid."

"I know that but Nathan doesn't need to know what we're talking about."

In their debate, neither had realized that the younger, dark haired brother was standing in the background, arms folded.

"Nathan doesn't need to know what?" he asked.

Lucas closed his eyes. Perfect timing.

"Nothing, man."

He opened the fridge and pulled out the milk, drinking straight from the carton.

"Doesn't sound like nothing. Care to elaborate, Brooke? You can't hold water, much less a secret so what's up since my brother here is obviously tongue tied?"

Brooke frowned as she was put on the spot.

"The only thing I care to elaborate about is the fact that you just had the audacity to put that carton back in the refrigerator after you clearly drank out of it. Gross! Living with two boys can be so yucky sometimes."

"I don't have cooties, Brooke but that's beside the point. I want in on this juicy little secret you and Luke are hiding."

"Fine", she said. "Everything's been really great with us all living here in New York and you've been doing a lot better so don't have a relapse and go all psycho on me but Broody and I were discussing the fact…"

"The slim to none possibility", Lucas interrupted.

"Whatever", she rolled her eyes. "Of something maybe going on with Haley and Chris Keller."

Nathan felt his jaw tighten.

"What makes you say that?" he asked, trying his best to sound nonchalant?

"Because someone watches way too much TV", Lucas quipped.

"It's the signs. They're all there. Trust me. It's…wait a minute. Are you okay hearing this, Boytoy?"

Nathan shrugged.

"Whatever."

"There is this vibe between them. I can't explain it but it's really flirty."

"It's not flirty, Brooke."

"Yes, it is, babe. Chris and Haley get so, I don't know…giddy."

"They're just friends. Hales acts the same way with Chris she acts with me. It's more like a brother/sister type deal."

"Okay, Luke, that would explain him having a key to her place."

"A key?" Nathan questioned.

"Hell yeah. He let himself in yesterday like he was paying rent."

Nathan stared at the floor.

"Oh."

"And", Brooke continued, obviously not knowing when to shut her trap. "And he just rummages through the fridge looking for Tofu and cottage cheese and…"

"Tofu and cottage cheese, huh?" Nathan asked. "How gay. What man eats that crap?"

"Tell me about it", Brooke agreed. "But the thing is, Haley buys it for him and keeps it stocked there."

Nathan's cheeks burned.

"What?"

"And that's not the worst of it. Oh no. Mr. Anti Social, goes and hangs out in her bedroom while we're all sitting in the living room."

"Her room?"

Lucas could sense his little brother's agitation.

"It wasn't quite like that, man. Looks can be deceiving and personally, I think it's quite innocent. Plus, if you want to talk about flirty vibes, I still look at him and Taylor. Something's going on there, Brooke definitely."

"Oh I'm sure they've probably done it before. I mean, who hasn't slept with Taylor?" Brooke slipped before catching the death glare from Nathan. "Oh sorry Superstar but you get what I'm saying. No disrespect to you but the chick gets around. Hell, Broody she's eyeing you like you're the last piece of fresh meat on earth."

"Okay and why are we talking about this again?" Lucas asked, more than a little exasperated.

"Because our sordid and twisted real lives beat any of the other gossip floating around out there", Brooke answered matter of factly.

"Unfortunately that's true but this is stupid. Let's just talk about something else."

"Fine", she sighed. "I'm hungry anyway. Let me go find a takeout menu and see what's for dinner."

"Not tonight", Lucas said. "I'm tired of takeout and I feel bad when Haley has to make our meals. How about we go out to a nice restaurant?"

Brooke clapped her hands.

"Awesome! Do I get to choose?"

"If you want but I was thinking about Saga. Remember it's that place on Lexington and 39th where I took you the last time we played the Knicks?"

"Oh that place with the to die for Grilled Shrimp Bruschetta and the Roasted Lamb Shank?"

"That's the one."

"Goody! Give me a few minutes to get beautiful", she squealed before running off to their bedroom.

Lucas shook his head.

"Sorry about that, dude. You know how she gets."

"It's cool."

"Alright. Well go change so we can hurry up and get out of here."

"I don't think so. I think I'll just hang out here."

"Come on, Nate. It'll be fun. Besides, it'll be good to get outside. I can even have security bring us a car and sneak us out back…"

"Nah, I'm cool."

"Nathan…"

"It's no big deal. Really. Don't worry about me, Luke. Have fun with your girl. Take her out for a romantic dinner for two. Afterwards, go dancing or for one of those carriage rides through Central Park. Make a night out of it. You guys deserve some fun."

Lucas sighed, still unsure.

"Dude, I don't want to just leave you…"

"I'm fine. God, you sound worse than my mother. I'm a big boy. I'll fire up the Foreman and make myself a grill cheese sandwich so I can polish off the rest of that milk before Brooke has another conniption fit and kills us both in our sleep."

"You sure it's cool?"

"It's more than cool. I promise. Go for it."

"Okay. I'm just gonna go get changed real quick."

Nathan nodded.

"Hey, man, one more thing…"

"What's up, bro?"

Nathan frowned and scratched his head.

"Not that it matters or anything, but all that stuff Brooke said…do you really buy it? I mean, do you think Haley and…"

"No. I love Brooke to death but her imagination runs wild sometime. You have nothing to worry about."

"I…I'm not worried. I don't even care. I was just asking."

"Okay", Lucas said as he went off to get ready.

The couple dressed and said their good byes as they embarked on a glorious night out on the town. Nathan enjoyed the quiet, making himself dinner and watching a little TV. When it was late he stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed. The room was dark and quiet, just the way he liked it but sleep would not come and he didn't know why.

After a solid hour of tossing and turning, Nathan finally got up. He decided it was too hot. He adjusted the air conditioner but was still wide awake. He was bored as he checked the clock. Midnight. Maybe Haley was still awake. Lillian wasn't sleeping through the night yet so it was a possibility. And with Taylor back on as a Coyote, she would be all alone upstairs with the baby. It couldn't hurt to try so he slipped on shorts and a wife beater and made his way upstairs. As the elevator stopped, he heard footsteps coming from the stairwell. Hiding in a corner, Nathan watched as Chris and his guitar approached Haley's door. He fumbled with the key and finally it was opened from the inside.

"Hey you. About time", he heard Haley say. "Get in here. I've been waiting on you."

"At your service, Madam", Chris joked as he entered. "I live to serve."

And then the door shut. They never saw him but Nathan felt like he had just been punched in the stomach. He felt angry, he felt sad, he felt confused, he felt sick. His emotions were in a tizzy he couldn't explain. Walking to the door, he raised his fist to knock but at the last second, decided against it. If they even answered, what would he even say? What could he say? Sighing, a dejected Nathan did the only thing he could. He walked back down to the empty, lonely, dark apartment that was waiting for him.


	167. A Morning To Remember

Nathan knocked on the door again. It was early morning but he knew she was probably awake. Haley had never been one to sleep in and with the addition of a new baby, that made it that much more impossible. He wondered what was keeping her. Finally, she opened the door, breathless.

"Hey", she smiled, removing her headphones. "Sorry I didn't hear you."

"It's cool", he peered in wondering if a shirtless Chris Keller would be enjoying a bowl of Fruit Loops at the kitchen table.

He wasn't.

"Come in", she offered. "It's pretty early. What has you all dressed and ready to go?"

"I came to ask you a favor, Hales", he twiddled his thumbs.

"Okay…shoot."

"You know how much I've enjoyed spending time with Lillian. I mean, that was my reason for coming up here and all…"

"Yeah…"

"And I thank you for being so cool about it but…"

"But what? Is everything okay, Nathan?"

"Huh? Yeah, everything is great, it's just that I want to spend more time with Lillian, you know, like on my own and, I…well, I was hoping to start trying that out…like today if it's cool."

"What do you mean?"

"It's a nice day and Central Park isn't too far away. I was hoping to take Lillian out for a few hours."

Haley sighed.

"Oh Nathan, I don't know…"

"Haley, I can handle it."

"I'm not saying you can't but…I don't know. The whole idea just makes me really nervous. I don't want anything to happen to her."

"I don't want anything to happen to her either. What, do you think I'll trade her for a cigarette to the first bum that comes along? Damn, Hales. I know you're her mother but I'm her father."

"I know that and you've been great but the truth is, you've only had her by yourself for an hour at the most and that was right downstairs in your apartment. What if something happens?"

"Nothing is going to happen."

"But what if it does?"

Nathan shrugged.

"Then I'll take care of it."

"What about the paparazzi?"

"I already checked. No one is hanging around out front. I'll wear a hat and dark glasses and take her out the back entrance. It'll be cool, Hales."

"I…I don't know…"

"I'm taking her around the block, not to China. Look, Haley, I can handle it. And I want to spend more time with her. She's my daughter, too. I know to be safe and responsible."

Haley took a deep breath.

"I know you do."

"Then just trust me. Give me a day alone with Lillian and you take the time off and do whatever you want. Go shopping or get one of those pedicure things or whatever you'd do on a day off. You deserve a break."

Haley nervously chewed her lip.

"You sure, Nathan?"

"I'm positive."

"You won't go too far and you'll call to check in?"

"Yes."

"And you'll call if anything happens?"

"I give you my word."

"Okay. Okay, okay. I can't believe I'm doing this but okay. Just let me finish getting her dressed, okay?"

"Okay", Nathan smiled.

He waited patiently but with happiness and excitement. It was a long time coming and a day he had thought about ever since he had first seen the tiny, sleeping figure in the hospital's Isolation Unit with all the tubes and needles stuck in her.

"Alright, here we go", Haley returned with their daughter clad in a pink and white summer outfit and bonnet. "Make sure you keep the sun out of her eyes in the stroller. And don't forget to check her diaper. The bag is packed with everything you need. I just fed her so she should be good for a little while. And…"

"Hales, I've got it", Nathan chuckled. "Seriously. Calm down. We're gonna be okay."

"I know", Haley nodded. "I trust you."

She leaned in and kissed Lillian.

"You just enjoy your day. Go do whatever you want."

"Thanks but I think I'll just stay here. I'll keep the front door open so just let yourself in when you get back."

Nathan nodded.

"Okay then. Well, we're off."

"Be careful but uh…have a good time", she smiled meekly.

"We will. Oh and Haley?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

She waved as father and daughter set out on their first excursion in the city alone. As planned and promised, he dressed down and had security escort them out the back. He checked his surroundings for photographers and when the coast was clear, they set out. Lillian, looking adorable, slept peacefully as Nathan pushed the carriage. When they finally reached the park, he took a seat on a bench after verifying the little girl had a clean diaper. Immediately Lillian opened her eyes and stared at him.

"Hey you", he smiled, gently lifting her out and into his arms. "What's up? I guess this day has been a long time coming. Honestly, I never thought I'd see it. I wanted to but it never seemed possible. I mean, it's weird. A very long time ago at this high school basketball championship called the Classic, well…I looked in your mom's eyes and I saw my unborn children. That sounds pretty lame, huh? But I swear it's true. We fell in love and we got married and I thought it would be forever. But it wasn't meant to be, I guess. She left me and I didn't make it easy for her to come back. Fast forward to seven years and a whole lot of loss and heartbreak later. By chance we came back in to each other's lives and that's how you came to be. You'll probably hear things and read things that might make you questioned exactly what happened. When you're a little older I promise to give you all the answers you need but for now you just need to know that I love you and your mother loves you and when we made you, in the craziest of situations, there was a lot of love there between us…or at least I'd like to think so. Anyway, I've messed up…a lot. I hurt your mom and your grandma and your Uncle Luke and a whole bunch of other people. I'm not proud of that, Lil and I want you to know I'm working to be better. It's because of you. Well, it's some of me too but it's mostly because of you and your sister. You're in my arms and Yoanna is in Heaven looking down and I don't want to disappoint either one of you anymore. I want to be someone you can look up to. I want you to be proud. I want to be better to you and for you than my Old Man was for me, which the jury is still out with that one since you seemed to be loving it in his arms. Who knows? Maybe you see the good in him we can't see. Or maybe you bring it out in him. I hope so because Evil Dan is enough. I can't have Evil baby Lillian, too. Kid, we've got enough drama in our lives, if you didn't already know. I'll give you a few years but fyi, I watched all those The Omen movies and if you try to run over Haley on your tricycle when you're like three so she'll fall over the banister and break her neck…then you're definitely going to an orphanage, or at least you'll get grounded. Anyway. What else can I say about your mom? She's pretty amazing or I guess you know that already. It's complicated between us. I have never loved or hated another human being with such passion. She made me happier than I've ever been, she made me sadder than I've ever been. At times I wanted to give her the world and other times it took all I had not to wring her neck. No matter what, she'll always be a part of me. They haven't invented words yet for how much I care about that girl. And because of her, I have you and you're about the best thing going on in my crazy life, that's for sure. Look at you. You look bored as hell. Didn't know it was possible to bore a three month old but hey…I guess you learn something new everyday. Sorry if I kind of poured my heart out to you but it's easier talking to you than to your mom or to your Uncle Luke or just anyone. Thanks for listening…and thanks for being born."

Lillian stared up at her father and cooed as he saw a small smile. He tickled her tummy and just sat there enjoying a beautiful day in the park and the New York City sunshine.

"Alright, Stinkerbelle", he said to her after a few hours. "Your mom probably has the FBI out looking for us. We should head back now."

He deposited her back into the stroller and headed back to the apartment. He stopped along the way for a hot, soft pretzel and honey mustard. He felt good. He'd had a pleasant day out with his daughter, uninterrupted by the prying press. And he was in the best mood he'd been in in weeks.

"Nice walk in the park, Mr. Scott?" Alvin the doorman nodded.

"It was good, man. Thanks. Absolutely no problems."

Nathan entered the elevator and changed Lillian's wet diaper, extremely proud of himself that it was his first attempt that hadn't ended up with it being on backwards. She was still wide awake and apparently in a good a mood as her dad. They rode up to Haley's door and Nathan carefully maneuvered the carriage.

"We're back", he announced as he entered with a knock. "Hales, we made it one piece!"

There was no answer.

Nathan smiled at Lillian.

"That's odd. I had to rip you away from her arms this morning, now she's nowhere to be found and she didn't blow up my cell with calls. What's really going on here? Mama must be busy."

He went to pick up Lillian but was distracted by a noise.

"Hello! Haley?" he called out.

Again no response.

He shrugged until he heard it again. It wasn't just any noise but it was a distinct moan. It was a moan of pleasure to be exact.

"What the fuck?" Nathan whispered out loud.

The sounds were coming from Haley's bedroom. Forgetting himself and the situation, a fury induced rage began to build in Nathan. He charged over to the door and barged in. What he saw, he would never forget.


	168. That's My Girl

There were two bodies hidden underneath the blankets. A piece of blonde auburn hair was visible on the pillow. Nathan couldn't remember a time being so angry.

"This is bullshit! I fucking knew it! I knew this was happening! Oh wait, you're gonna tell me today was the first time? Yeah right! Try eight years ago! Nice going, Haley! That little act this morning about being so worried me taking Lillian out of the house! And I fell for that crap, too! Truth is, you couldn't wait for us to leave so you could get it on with this scarecrow looking motherfucker! I want to kill you right now! How could you do this? Have you done this with my daughter in the house? In the room? No, scratch that! Chris, I want to kill you! No, I am gonna kill you! I should have snapped your flimsy little neck years ago! You know what, Haley? I'm done! You disgust me! I'm taking Lillian and I'm out of here! When you're done with Crackhead, I'll be in my apartment with our daughter. Take a shower before you come down."

Grabbing the stroller, Nathan headed into the living room, cursing loudly to himself. He ended up running smack dab into Haley.

"Nathan, I heard you all the way from the elevator. You could wake the dead. My God, what are you ranting and raving about?"

"You sleeping with Chris!" he huffed.

"Me sleeping with Chris? What are you talking about?"

"I just caught you two in your bed…" Nathan's voice trailed off as he actually realized what he was saying and that she was standing in front of him fully clothed. "Oh…you're um, you're standing in front of me so that means it's not you in your bed."

"My bed?" Haley brushed right past him. "Nobody better be in my bed!"

She marched into the bedroom with him and Lillian on her heels. Haley yanked back the blanket to find a sheepish but smiling Taylor and Chris.

"Baby sis, former brother…how's it going?"

Haley was disgusted.

"Iiiieeewww! What the hell is going on here? I don't know if I'm more disgusted that you two are actually doing it or that you did it in my bed?"

"I'd probably say the latter", Chris shrugged as he covered up in front of a staring Nathan. "What, man? Don't be jealous. You know what they say and I am a size 14 in shoes."

Nathan just rolled his eyes.

"Taylor, you…you dyed your hair lighter", Nathan said.

Haley was on the verge of homicide.

"And you use my expensive hair color without asking? Now our hair looks the same?"

"Gee, Nate, rat me out twice in two minutes, why don't you? Look, Haley bub, the hair thing…well, I wanted to try something new and you know this lighter color looks better on me anyway. And as far as the sex? What can I say? Keller was here and I was horny. But I swear it's the first time…since, you know, the last time and that was like years ago. Anyway."

"Okay, first of all…gross! Second of all, why in my bed? That is beyond nasty and so disrespectful!"

"It just sort of happened. Are you mad?"

"Mad? I'm furious! If you weren't all sweaty and naked I'd seriously grab your ass and throw you out the window right now!"

"Sorry", Taylor shrugged.

"Get up! Right now! Both of you!"

"Okay", Chris obliged, bare ass and all.

Nathan put one hand up and one over his eyes.

"She didn't mean like literally now, man. The glare from your moon is killing me."

"Get out of my room! Now!"

"Fine, sis. Don't have a cow. Chris and I will even wash the sheets, won't we, stud?"

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Try burning them! Now out!"

Nathan guided her out of the room to give them privacy to get dressed. Haley was still furious as she angrily paced the living room. Lillian, oblivious, to yet another dramatic but slightly comical escapade of her adult relatives was sleeping peacefully. Nathan put his head down, losing his battle with the laughter that was building up even as Haley shot him a death glare.

"Sorry Hales…"

"You think this is funny? Are you crazy? Nathan, this is so not funny! I am going to murder Taylor! And Chris!"

"Okay", he chuckled.

"Gosh, what is it about my bed? Why does everyone want to have sex in Haley James' bed?"

"Who else had sex in your bed?"

"Brooke and Felix and it was our bed actually."

Nathan's smile faded.

"Dude, that's sick! When?"

"That time you and Luke went out of town for that Bobcats game but that's beside the point. I can't believe those two!"

"I haven't seen you this pissed in a while."

"Well, I haven't been this pissed in a while, trust me!"

"Are you…are you mad that it's Chris? I mean, like jealous and stuff?"

Haley's mouth dropped open.

"Hell no! Why would I be jealous?"

Nathan stared at the floor.

"I…I don't know. I guess, if you were into him."

"I'm not and we've established that already."

"Yeah but…"

"But what? Just say it, Nathan."

"The other night…I…I couldn't sleep so I came up here. It was late but I figured we could hang out and stuff. But when I got here, Chris was already here. You let him in and for it being after midnight, you seemed pretty damned happy to see him. Some shit about waiting for him all night."

Now it was Haley's turn to laugh.

"Nathan, Nathan, Nathan…"

"What? You think it's funny?"

"Yes! The doctors prescribed Lillian medicine that I have to give her every night. I ran out and I panicked and I knew Chris was on his way out so I had him drop by the all night pharmacy."

"Oh…but he used his key."

"So? He's had it forever. Just like I'm sure you have a key to Luke's house and vice versa."

"Oh…but Taylor was at work and…"

"He didn't stay on. While you were playing 007, did you see the guitar strapped to his back? He was on his way to play a gig downtown."

"But you buy food for him…"

"His skinny ass eats me out of house and home as it is. So out of habit if I'm in the grocery store and I see something he likes, I'll pick it up for him. Didn't you used to do the same thing with Tim?"

"Yeah but Tim doesn't just go around lounging on my bed either."

Haley nodded with a knowing smile.

"I see. Well, apparently Sherlock and Watson aka Broody and Cheery alias Lucas and Brooke or better known as Big Mouths, forgot to add one important piece of the puzzle. Chris goes in my room to work on music. His guitar amp was in there and it gives better sound."

"Oh."

Nathan looked at her and they both burst out laughing.

"You feel like a fool, huh?"

"Kind of", he blushed.

"You actually thought I was sleeping with Chris?"

"Well…yeah."

"Do I have to hire a blimp or get it tattooed on my forehead? For the trillionth and last time, I am not, nor have I ever had sex with Chris Keller!"

"Okay, okay, I believe you."

"Good! It's about time. Jesus, Nathan, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were jealous or something."

"Me? Jealous?" he scoffed. "Yeah right. In your dreams. I was just…I was just looking for an excuse to smack the piss out of that undernourished weasel."

"I can buy that but whatever", she smiled. "Anyway, how was your day out with Lillian?"

"Good."

"Anything interesting happen?"

"No. We didn't get mugged. We didn't get chased by dogs, fans, or the paparazzi and I managed to bring back the right baby so I think we're cool" he joked.

"So what did you guys do?"

Nathan shrugged.

"We just hung out…and talked."

"Talked, huh?"

"At least I did but Lil is a pretty good listener."

Haley smoothed the baby's blanket.

"I know", she said softly. "She's been a sweet ear for her mom many a days."

"Well, thanks for letting me have her. We had a ball and I want to do it again soon."

"No problem. Listen…do me a favor."

"Anything."

"I have a horny sister and duet partner to kill. If you don't mind, take Lillian back downstairs to your place. I'll be by in a few. Maybe we could have a late lunch or an early dinner."

Nathan smiled.

"Sounds good."

He pushed the shoulder back onto the elevator with a more than relieved smile. Lillian was now up and looking at him again with her sparkling multi colored eyes.

"That worked out", he said. "You probably think I was worried back there, huh? I wasn't. It was cool. I knew nothing happened. I wasn't scared. I knew it was your crazy ass aunt all along. Not that I cared anyway."

Lillian gave him a look that seemed to say "yeah right, Dad". Nathan just smiled as he played with her tiny hands.

"Who the hell am I fooling, kid? But I guess you knew that all along. I was scared shitless."

Lillian cooed and began to laugh, moving her little arms as if to agree with her father.

"Yeah, you know me too well, already, Lil", he grinned. "That's my girl."


	169. A Family For One Night

"Oh God, Lucas! Yes! Baby, right there!"

Nathan turned over and buried his face in his pillow. He shut his eyes tight. For as much money as he was shelling out for the apartment, he thought the place could have had at least thicker walls.

"Damn, Brooke! Baby, I love you so much!"

Nathan looked at the clock. 2:07 a.m. Damn. The love fest in the room next door had been going on for almost two hours. What the hell was Lucas on, Viagra or something? Cursing out loud, he banged loudly on the wall. It was to no avail.

"Oh…oh…oh…Broody!"

"Jesus Christ", Nathan muttered to himself.

Those two were like rabbits. Did they ever stop? And besides, the fact that it was a little annoying, Nathan had to admit he was slightly jealous. It had been forever since he'd had pleasure that didn't involve a Jenna Jameson DVD and his well slicked right hand. But more than the actual act of sex itself, he just longed for that special human touch. Intimate affection from someone of the opposite sex. Someone to touch, to hold to feel…

The vibration of his cell phone caused him to nearly jump out of his skin. He briefly glanced at the Caller ID before answering it.

"Haley, what's up? Everything okay with Lillian?"

"Yeah. She's fine. Sleeping finally. Look, I'm sorry to call so late but your daughter has been up all night and now that's she finally asleep and Taylor's out, I'm kind of bored. I'm wide awake, too. I know you can be somewhat of a night owl so if I didn't wake you and you don't mind…"

"I'm on my way up", he said quickly.

Haley chuckled.

"That was a response without hesitation. Look, Nathan, you don't have to. I know it's late so if you were already in bed, then don't worry about it."

"Trust me", he said against another Brucas sex noise. "You just saved my life…or at least my sanity."

"What?"

"I'll explain when I get there."

Sticking his bare feet in sneakers and slipping a wife beater on, along with his basketball shorts, Nathan was out the door and on his way upstairs in a jiff. The door was slightly ajar and she was waiting for him in a white tank top and dark pajama bottoms.

"Warm milk?" she offered as he plopped down on the couch.

"Thanks", he took the steaming mug.

"So…care to tell me how I saved you?" she asked with a smile.

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"It seems I'm sharing an apartment with Ron Jeremy and Jenna Jameson", he shook his head. "Those two never stop going at it."

Haley shuddered.

"Iiiieewww. Totally bad mental picture. Imagining my Buddy having sex is…I don't know", she laughed. "But it's pretty bad. The only thing worse I can think of is my parents doing it."

Nathan grinned.

"You ever walk in on Jim and Lydia?"

"Hell no, thank God!"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. But I think I heard them a time or two. I don't know. I tried to pretend like I didn't. But once Taylor went away to college and it was just the three of us in that big, old house…I don't know. I guess they got bold or something."

"Consider yourself lucky. I caught my parents…twice."

"No way!" Haley giggled.

"Way, unfortunately. The first time, I was like seven. And it was early on a Saturday morning. I used to get up in the summers so I could spend the day with Dad at the dealership. That was before he became the annoying, overbearing, evil prick we know and love to hate today. But anyway. I had this really bad dream and it was barely light outside yet so I'm sitting in my bed in my gay ass Spiderman pajamas convinced there is a freaking monster in my closet. I finally get the courage and I just go for it, I mean, a full on dead sprint to my parents' room. The door is closed but I open it and I see…oh man, this is traumatizing. I see, my…my mom's ass is like in the air and Dad is behind her."

"Oh God", Haley laughed, spitting out her milk as Nathan struggled to repeat the embarrassing tale.

"Dude, I am not making this up, I swear."

"So what did you do?"

"I was a second grader. I didn't know what the hell was going on. She was making these weird noises so I thought he was, you know, doing something to her."

"He was", Haley snickered.

"Well, duh but I thought he was doing something bad. So I run over to the bed and I grab like a shoe or something that was on the floor and I start hitting him across the back and I'm like, 'Get off my mommy! Stop hurting her!' And they were mortified and then later on Dad was trying to explain and it's just uh! I can't believe that!"

He covered his eyes as Haley tried to gain her composure.

"That's classic."

"Glad it's so amusing to you."

"And the second time?"

"I came home unexpectedly from college one weekend and they were on the floor. They were at least under some blankets that time, thank God. It was funny though. I have to give it to Dad, the setup was pretty pimp. It was like a little carpet picnic with champagne and strawberries and stuff. The lights were dimmed, the fireplace was roaring, and Frank Sinatra was playing in the background."

"Tell me your dad did not break out Frank."

"Yes he did", Nathan laughed with her.

"Wow. Kind of hard picturing Dan being romantic."

"Tell me about it."

Haley sighed.

"Deb must really love him. I always wondered why she stayed. Even when she was being a bitch to me, I still found it hard to believe a woman that nice could be with somebody so…not nice, I guess."

"I don't know why she stays either. I guess they do love each other but it's probably more out of habit than anything. Hell, they've been married almost 25 years. They're only 43 but I guess it's just a comfort thing with them now."

"You ever think about what it would have been like if Dan had married Karen instead of your mother?"

Nathan chuckled.

"Funny you ask that…"

"What's funny?" she turned to him, tucking her small feet underneath her as she got comfortable.

"This is weird and I've never really told anybody but I have this like, recurring dream about that."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. What happens?"

"We're back in high school. I play street ball on the River Court with Fergie and Skills. And it's Lucas who is the star of the Ravens. Dad is a teacher and coach while Karen runs like this corporation of cafes. Luke is a total dick and basically does all the shitty things to me I used to do to him. Anyway, when my mom kept me without being married, my grandparents disowned her so she didn't have any of their money and had to everything on her own. She took out a loan and bought Deb's Den but it's still hard to make ends meet with the diner."

"What about Brooke and Peyton?"

"They're there. Peyton is Luke's girlfriend and she knows what a jackass he is. Brooke is the slutty cheerleader who keeps popping up in my shower naked."

"Interesting", Haley raised an eyebrow. "Total role reversal, huh?"

"Yeah but it's weird. They say, change one thing, change everything. I think that's true. Because in this dream, my dad did one thing differently. He chose Karen and Lucas instead. But it affected everyone's life and how they were as people."

"What do you mean?"

"Lucas was a jackhole, just like I was. I kind of had his personality. My dad was still a jerk but he was more passive aggressive. He didn't have all the power. In fact, Keith owned the dealership and he was kind of ruthless. And Karen wasn't as nice and she was more interested in her career than her family and she and Keith were having this affair."

"Wow", Haley raised her eyebrows. "That's crazy."

"Yeah…"

"So", Haley shrugged nervously. "Was…am I in your dream?"

He looked away.

"Yeah…you um, wear these funky hats and ponchos, you work at Deb's Den and you're my best friend…although we're kind of like flirty."

"Flirty, huh?"

"Yeah and one other thing."

"What's that?"

"In my dream, you're tone deaf."

Haley just looked at him, not sure of what to do or say next.

"Nathan…"

"Anyway. It's just a stupid, dream, right?"

"Right", she replied, her heart heavy.

They looked away, a series of thoughts running rampant on their separate minds but neither one spoke. A faint cry from the nursery broke the awkward silence.

"I'll get her", Nathan volunteered before Haley could stand up.

He went and tried to comfort the little girl in her crib but she wanted more attention. He lifted her and brought her out to the living room.

"She okay?" Haley asked.

"Just spoiled", Nathan grinned.

Sure enough, the child was quieted just being in the presence of her two parents and the television set. Nathan leaned back and placed Lillian on his chest against his. They watched a random show in silence as Haley's eye began to grow heavy. CAT emerged from here selected hiding space for the evening and rubbed against Haley's leg before finally hopping onto her lap. She stared at Nathan and the baby.

"Hey you", Haley cooed. "I haven't seen you all day."

Nathan just shook his head.

"You and your cats."

"CAT is my other baby, aren't you, girl?"

"I was always a dog man, myself."

"Look at this precious face. How can you not fall in love with her?"

"Because she looks like she's ready to claw my eyes out at any given second. Hales, make her quit looking at me like that."

"It means she likes you."

"Well, I'd hate to see the look if she didn't like me", he half joked.

The cat eventually gave way to fatigue as did the others. Dawn approached quickly and Haley, a wicked crook in her neck from sleeping the wrong way, frowned and stirred. Passed out on her lap was CAT. Her head had been resting against her ex husband's bare arm and she was ashamed to admit there was a thin trail of drool where her open mouth had been. Amused and embarrassed, she gently wiped at it, trying to do so without waking him. His muscles tightened but his eyes did not open as he kept his protective grip on their daughter.

Haley sighed. It was the picture of perfection. That's how it was always supposed to be. That's how she dared envision it, even years after the breakup. She and Nathan sleeping side by side surrounded by their pets and children. Her heart pounded. It was she wanted secretly but when had real, uncomplicated happiness ever bestowed itself upon Nathan and Haley? Not in years. It was always something, an unknown force or entity to cause a million problems and keep them apart. Her heart couldn't take much more and even if it could, now there was another more important factor to consider. Lillian was number one. She deserved two parents who loved her. And so far, everything was working out. Mom and Dad were content and civil and there for their little girl. You could even call them friends and that was a huge accomplishment in itself after so many years of heartache and unanswered questions. But when wanting more, the mere audacity of any inkling of hope for a possible romantic future together, that's when things started getting messy. They always did for Nathan and Haley. One or both end up getting hurt. When it was just them to consider, that was fine but now an innocent baby had been tossed in the mix. They had to think of how their mistakes, actions, emotions and reactions would ultimately affect Lillian.

Haley took a deep breath. It would never be like it was. That wasn't humanly possible. Dreams of a happy family with a sitcom ending were just that…dreams. But for one brief moment, for one early morning, they could have it all. Haley rested her head back on his arms and let slumber overtake her weary body once again.


	170. A Soldier's Brave First Step

"Hold your freaking horses!" Nathan bellowed to whomever was relentlessly banging on the other side of the door.

It was just after eight and he had never been much of a morning person. Whoever it was, he had a good mind to beat them senseless when he opened up. Standing on the other side of the door was a smiling Dan.

"Rise and shine, son."

Nathan groaned out loud as he rolled his eyes.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing here? I can't seem to get away from you. In Charlotte we lived 196 miles from each other and aside from planned visits, I never saw your ass. I move to New York, and it's 619 miles away and now every time I turn around, you're behind the door grinning like a Cheshire cat. That 'no call, no visit' rule we talked about just doesn't apply to Haley's place. What gives, man?"

Dan pushed his way in.

"Nice digs. Must be the great taste of my other son, the one that actually loves me and treats me with respect and greets dear old dad with a smile upon my visits."

"He just feels sorry for you. Luke has a soft heart. What can I say?"

"Speaking of the prodigal son, where is he?"

"Sleeping like everyone else as this ungodly hour so keep it down. Now what do you want and where is Mom?"

Dan checked his watch.

"Probably up to her elbows in bacon grease with her little partner, Karen", he rolled his eyes. "I'm here on business, Nate."

"What kind of business? The dealership?"

"Not this time. This concerns you."

"If it concerns me, then how come it concerns you?"

"Because once again, I'm saving your ass. No need to thank me for it, not that you ever do", Dan took the liberty of sitting down and making himself at home.

"What now?"

"I flew it late yesterday evening for a meeting with the NBA commissioner."

Nathan raised an eyebrow.

"What happened?"

"Looks like we're pretty close to you being back for regular season, provided you stay out of trouble."

"That…that's great. Was Coach there?"

"No. Seems like you've worn out your welcome in Charlotte. The Bobcats have voided your contract."

"What? They can't do that!"

"The hell they can't, and you have only yourself to thank for it. Be lucky they aren't suing your ass."

"So what now?"

"You're a free agent. Nothing is set in stone but Memphis, Minnesota, and Cleveland are quite interested."

Nathan scoffed.

"I don't want to play for any of those teams."

Dan smirked.

"Well, excuse me, Michael Jordan. Don't know if you got the memo but your reputation and off the court antics have drastically overshadowed your talent and natural ability. Those three teams are currently some of the worst in the league. You could commit mass murder and they'd probably still be vying for you. They need you. But the current top teams…Indiana, New York, Los Angles and Phoenix, you think they're going to jump through hoops to secure a third year player with a reputation of tardiness, disrespect for his team and coaches, marital problems and illegitimate babies that stay in the tabloids and a not so secret drinking problem? Get real, Nate. You're lucky you still have a job and you are in no position to negotiate."

Nathan sighed.

"I'll think about it."

"Think about it? That's cute, son. In the meantime, while you're exercising that pea brain of yours, why don't you the same for your body? You're looking kind of soft around the middle. What have you been doing with all this off time?"

"Relaxing, regrouping…thinking. Trying to get my life back into some kind of order."

"How noble."

"Oh and spending some quality time getting to know and bonding with my child. I wouldn't expect you to be familiar with that."

"Yes, sweet little Lillian. How is she?"

"Fine."

"And Haley?"

"Like you care."

"I do or I wouldn't have asked."

"Nice acting job keeping the straight face and all but she's fine, too, Dad."

"That's nice to know."

"Look, it's early and Haley isn't expecting visitors…"

"I am aware of that and I don't have the time anyway. A car is waiting for me downstairs. My flight leaves shortly but that does bring me to my second order of business. You know your mother's birthday is in two weeks. I am throwing her a surprise party. I'm sure she'd love it if you could come."

"Okay. I guess…"

"I take it Lillian will be with you."

"I'd have to see if that can be worked out."

"Haley is welcome as well. She could be your date."

"Hold on", Nathan said as he grabbed the remote and turned the television on the new channel.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure hell didn't freeze over. Did I just hear you right or did someone have a little too much whiskey last night?"

Dan laughed.

"Clever but you heard me loud and clear."

"Dad…"

"I have no animosity towards Haley. She did ruin your life once…no twice but hell, what can I do about it? You're a grown man, you have a child with her and for whatever reasons I have yet to figure out, obviously you're still in love with this woman. I can't make all your choices for you and Luke even though I only have your best interests at heart. If he wants Brooke Davis and you want Haley James, who am I to stand in the way?"

"You're scaring me but okay…"

"Nonsense. Come and we'll have a good time…as a family."

"It's a little late for that all the way around, don't you think?" Nathan muttered.

"It's never too late. All I want is a healthy, loving and positive relationship with my boys. Your mother adores you. We can be a family again. That's not impossible. And as for your own new family…well, that's up to you but I assumed the reason for you moving up here temporarily, in addition to the child was to somehow rekindle the flame?"

"Dad, there is no flame, okay? I came here for Lil, bottom line. Haley and I are in agreement when we say being good parents is our top priority. All that other stuff…if it ever happens, it won't happen for a long while. It's on the backburner for now and I don't know if you'd forgotten but uh…legally, I am still married to Megan."

Dan smiled.

"I almost forgot my third order of business. Thanks for reminding me, my boy."

"What now, Dad?" Nathan asked impatiently.

Dan opened the briefcase he had been carrying and rifled though it. He found and handed a sealed folder to his son.

"There you go."

"What the hell is all this?"

"Depends on how you look at it. Early Christmas present, maybe. Open it and find out."

Nathan tore open the envelope packet and pulled out the stack of legal paperwork. Sure enough, it was a petition for divorce from Megan.

"How's you get this?"

"They were sent by your lawyers. I had an expert on domestic litigation look over the documentation and you got the best out possible. She filed under the irreconcilable differences clause and she didn't ask for any settlement or alimony. She only requested that you sell the Charlotte estate and give her half. That's fair."

"It's more than fair", Nathan said quietly as he browsed through everything.

"All you have to do is sign and I will be happy to hand deliver them back to North Carolina."

"If I need a personal courier, I'll hire one, Dad. I'll read these over and I'll have a meeting with my own attorney before I sign anything."

"Suit yourself but pay special attention to that last page. I had it drafted myself. It's a confidentiality agreement."

"For?"

"You never know. Better safe than sorry, right? You get your life together and Meg might get revenge hungry. She could go to The Enquirer or have a sit down with Barbara Walters and make a fortune airing our family's dirty laundry. I cannot allow that. That paper ensures with her signature, she is permanently barred from ever discussing the events of her relationship with you and the Scotts."

"Dad…"

"No need for thanks. Really", he winked.

Nathan smiled.

"Trust me, I won't be thanking you. As a matter of fact, I plan to show you exactly what I think about your little agreement", Nathan stated as he ripped up the paper.

"Idiot, what are you doing?" Dan yelled.

"I've done enough to Meg. I hurt her beyond belief. I lied to her, I cheated on her, I treated her like crap and in one of my tantrums, the stress caused her to go into premature labor. Our kid is dead and tell me she doesn't at least blame me a little for it. I ruined her life, Dad. Yeah, she's strong and eventually she'll move on but the pain of the last year will be with her forever. She could have went public a long time, she could have stabbed me in my sleep or she could have been a real bitch about this divorce. But she wasn't. And she never will be. Know why? That's not her style. Megan has more class in her pinky finger than unfortunately, you and I have combined in our whole bodies. I would never disrespect her or add insult to injury by asking her to sign this crap. I will sell the house and if I could, I'd give her everything if I thought she'd accept it. But I know she won't so I'll honor her wishes and give her half. That's the very least I can do."

"And they say Lucas is the one with the soft heart", Dan commented. "Don't let this come back to bite you in the ass, son. You have a chance to get it all back but if everyone finds out all the details of everything that has happened, once public sentiment turns against you permanently, you're done. Remember that."

"I'm tired of hiding, Dad. I won't live a lie anymore. My life is an open book anyway. When the time is right, I'll handle the public the right way. I made a lot of mistakes. I will apologize and admit to them…and I'll be honest about them. That's all I can do. It might hurt but I owe it to Meg and to myself and to my two daughters."

Dan shook his head.

"I've died a thousand deaths, Nate. I've sacrificed so you and Luke don't have to. But you make life harder than it has to be. One day, you'll leanr and because of your stubbornness, it might be a very painful life lesson. But you go right ahead since you're so damned smart and honorable. Die a couple of times, boy. It might make a man out of you…it did me."

Nathan looked his father square in the eye.

"A coward dies a thousand deaths. A soldier only dies once."

"One day you'll look back on this very conversation with regret."

"No, Dad. The only thing I regret is opening that door and letting you in. Now you have a plane to catch and I have sleep to catch up on. Before this gets any uglier, why don't you do us both a favor and get out of here."

Dan stood and straightened his expensive jacket.

"You are more and more your mother's son everyday."

"And thank God for that one. See you at the party…Dad."

Nathan shut the door and closed his eyes. Just 15 minutes with that man was enough to drain the life out of anyone. Sighing, he collapsed back down on the couch and stared at what was to be the final and legal end to his second failed attempt at a happy marriage.

"You alright, man?"

It was Lucas.

"Perfect timing. Dad just left."

"I heard", Lucas yawned as he joined his little brother on the plush sofa. "I was cowering underneath the covers of my safe bed until he left."

"You didn't miss much. As usual, he was being an asshole. He got me back in the NBA as a free agent being courted by the three teams I'd least want to go to. He invited us all to my mom's surprise birthday party in a few weeks. Oh…and he dropped off these divorce papers."

"I heard it all, man. You okay?"

"I don't know. It sucks. Hell, it hurts. I guess most of its my own doing. I'll be fine."

"Yeah you will be. And good for you for standing up to him like that."

"He deserved it."

"That he did. You've come a long way, brother."

"With an even longer way to go."

Lucas smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

"Maybe so but the journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."


	171. In The Heat of the Moment

Nathan heard the screaming outside and it didn't take a genius to figure out who was standing opposite the front door. He opened it and sure enough it was Haley and Lillian. The red faced baby was in her diaper only being held by her mother wearing short denim shorts and a pink tank top. Her damp hair was matted to her sweat stained face and she looked despondently drained of all energy.

"Wow. You two look…miserable."

"We are", she walked in without a formal invitation. "Oh God, we came down here to escape the heat but it isn't much better."

"I know", a shirtless Nathan closed the door behind them. "The hottest day of the year in New York City and the air conditioning goes on the blink in this building."

"Can they fix it?"

"I called and they say they're working on it."

Haley sighed as she tried to comfort her fussy baby.

"This is horrible. Lillian has been crying non stop and who could blame her? I mean, as much I pay for this place, you think the a/c would at least work."

"I hear you", he sighed as he turned the fan on his daughter as they took a seat in front of an open window. "It kind of feels like it's blowing hot air but what the hell? Better than nothing right."

"You mind if we hang out for a while?"

"Of course not."

"Where are Luke and Brooke?"

"She's shopping and he's the poor schmuck that got stuck with tagging along and carrying her bags."

Haley smiled.

"At this rate, they'll be gone forever."

"Tell me about it."

"So what have you been up to? I didn't see you yesterday. Taylor said you came up to feed Lillian while I was out. What's going on?"

"Sorry, I just had a lot on my mind yesterday."

"You okay? Anything I can help you with?"

Nathan took a deep breath.

"My dad was here."

"Dan? Yesterday? Why?"

"He had a meeting with the NBA commissioner. Seems he's cutting deals to get me back in the league."

"How do you feel about that?"

He shrugged.

"I wish he'd let me handle it. I have my own agents and lawyers and stuff. But you know him. It's Dan's way or no way at all. That kind of pisses me off. I didn't ask for his help and I don't want it yet this is just one more thing he gets to throw in my face for the rest of my life."

"Then tell him to butt out."

"I can't. He's already been to several meetings and the bastard is actually making progress, if you can believe it. I'm now a free agent and if I can settle on negotiations with a team, I might be back next year."

"That's good. I know you miss it and all. Just be careful, Nate."

"Yeah. He also wanted to tell me about the surprise birthday party he's throwing for my mom in two weeks."

"That's nice of him. What's the catch?"

"Apparently there is none."

Haley laughed.

"We're talking about Dan Scott here. Nathan, there's always a catch."

"I don't know but he wants me there with Lillian…and you."

Haley's eyes widened.

"Come again."

"Dad invited you."

She laughed out loud.

"Yeah right."

"I'm serious. Hey, I'm just as shocked as you but he specifically mentioned your name and as creepy as it was, he kind of seemed nice and well…sincere. I think he's up to something."

"I think I've figured it out."

"What?"

"Your dad. Dan is mean, controlling and manipulative, right?"

"Right."

"You've seen him in every aspect. You know when he's for real being nice or when he's acting or laying on the charm or manipulating…"

"Okay…"

"It's weird. I totally hate to admit it but I saw this connection with him and Lillian. It seemed real."

"Personally, I just think that's one more way for him to have another person to control and be in his image but let's throw you a bone and say you're right. She is his granddaughter but why all the sudden open arms and warm welcomes for you?"

"I haven't figured that part out yet", she chuckled. "I'm working on it but dare I think he might respect me now? I didn't take his crap. After all these years I finally stood up to him. Dan is a bully…he preys on weaker people. Once I showed no fear, I think he actually liked that."

"Don't tell me you two are gonna be buddies, now…"

"Buddies? Never. But I can handle him. Like it or not, he is Lillian's grandfather. And like it or not, he did save her life. It's no denying those two things. My head says 'better no influence than a bad one' but my heart keeps telling me that it isn't right to keep him totally away. I'm not stupid, I still know I'm dealing with a snake but as long as it's closely monitored, I think Lillian should be able to see him."

"You sure about that? He can be a real monster sometimes."

"Maybe so and of course I want to protect her but I still want her to have choices. I say we keep an eye out now on limited contact and when she's old enough to decide for herself, let it be her own decision if she wants Dan to be a part of her life."

Nathan nodded reluctantly.

"Don't worry, I'll keep a real close eye on the two of them. So does this mean you're coming to the party?"

"Maybe", she smiled. "I'll think about it. Just can't believe Dan flew all the way here to give me a personal invitation. Now that you mention it, that is creepy."

Nathan took a deep breath.

"That wasn't his only reasons for coming. There's something else."

"What?"

Nathan handed her the packet of documents.

"These. He personally delivered divorce papers."

Haley flipped through them.

"I'm sorry, Nathan…"

"It's okay. I knew they were coming sooner or later. I guess it's only right to end it."

"She seemed like a really nice person."

"She was."

Haley looked away with tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"This is all my fault", she whispered.

"What?"

"You, Megan, the divorce…everything."

"No, it's not, Hales", he sighed.

"The invalid annulment papers, the Dominican…what happened in the Dominican, hence this finally quiet bundle of joy in my arms here."

"Stuff…I don't know, it just happened. I don't think any of us much had control over anything. No use in trying to place blame now. It's over with."

"I shouldn't have crashed your reception."

Nathan looked right in her eyes.

"You knew then, didn't you? That you were pregnant, I mean."

"Yeah", she answered softly.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I poured my heart out to you and you turned me away. I can't much blame you but then I found out Megan was pregnant too. You had married her and you were moving on with your life. I thought that's what you needed to do. I didn't want to be a burden. I wanted you to be free, to kind of make up for what I did so long ago."

"Haley…"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. That's a tough position to be in. It's just hard."

He looked at her. Like he said, no use in reaching back into the past looking to place blame.

"I know."

"So what now?" she sighed. "Where do you go from here?"

"Forward. Take care of Lillian…start taking care of me. Handle my responsibilities with the Sanchez family. Try to do right by my divorce with Megan. Treat my mom a little better. Start being there for Lucas as much as he's there for me. Get my career back on track and just be a better man."

"Sounds like a plan. I'm proud of you, you know."

"I've just started, Hales. I still have a long way to go. There's no reason for you to be proud just yet…but there will be. I promise you that."

"Okay", she smiled faintly.

"What about you? Where does Haley James go from here?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know. The music and everything else is kind of irrelevant now. I love what I do but if you told me today I could never do it again, I'd be disappointed but resigned. It would be okay. Because I have lived an extraordinary life and I have had incredible experiences. And I'm set financially for life. I'm very proud of that. I mean, I will always be creative, I just don't know in what forum. I'd be just as happy sitting on a porch swing sipping lemonade in the Northwest on a ranch as I would be performing on tour to a sold out audience. I'm that content now finally and it's a feeling I've never had before. Motherhood has brought me peace. I didn't think it was possible to love another human being as much as I love Lillian. She's my joy. And right now, nothing else matters. I just want to be a mom."

"I understand", he looked at his daughter. "When I saw Lil for the first time in that hospital and being with her now…it's amazing. It's like a second chance at life and it's like having a piece of Yoanna all over again. This kid is my reason to go on, too."

"It's funny when you become a parent, you have to give up a lot of selfish behavior. And I have too almost joyfully. I started out on that stage with so much to prove. I needed the whole world to love Haley James…now that isn't even important anymore. All I ever need or want is right here in front of me."

Nathan nodded. He knew she was talking about Lillian but he dared to think maybe her words meant something else. He opened his mouth to ask her but quickly decided against it. As bleak and complicated as things were for him, those two girls were the only bright spot in his life. He wasn't about to ruin that.


	172. No Strings Attached?

Haley, balancing grocery and shopping bags as well as her purse and a Grande cup of Starbucks Frappucino, struggled to slip her key inside the lock. Finally she heard it click and with a sigh of relief, went to open it. The damned door wouldn't budge. Haley cursed out loud. It was like someone was standing against the other side deliberately blocking her entrance. Setting all her items carefully on the floor, she pushed with all her might, finally getting it to budge just enough so that she could slide her petite frame in. When she did, she tripped over a box and was immediately on her hands and knees.

"Damn!" she yelled, checking out the minor scrape on the inside of her wrist.

Standing amidst the clutter, she looked around and could barely make out her living room floor. Haley James was standing knee deep in what appeared to be elaborately wrapped presents.

"You're back", Taylor said, coming from the bedroom. "Did you remember to pick up those chocolate chip cookies that I like?"

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Taylor, I have been out all day in the blistering heat, sweating like a freaking pig, dodging the paparazzi, trying to run a million and one errands, walking back six blocks with bags bigger than I am and after all that coming home and not being able to get in, then totally biting it because of all this crap everywhere. After all that, you have the nerve to ask about some damned cookies?"

Taylor shrugged.

"Yeah. Did you get them or not?"

"They're in the hallway with the rest of the stuff", she sighed in exasperation.

"Cool. Thanks."

"Wait, what is all this stuff here and where the hell did it come from?"

"Delivery guys have been bringing things all morning. It's crazy."

"What is it?"

Taylor smirked.

"Presents from Papa Dan."

"What?" Haley asked in disbelief.

"No shit. Check it out yourself. All these boxes are addressed to Jamma from her grandfather."

"What the…"

"Clothes and every toy you can imagine, not to mention a really cool high chair with a stainless steel placing for the food. Very classy."

Haley waded through the items picking up and reading random labels that indeed confirm what her sister had told her.

"I don't believe this…" she said.

"Who cares? It's free stuff, right? Just go with it."

Haley shook her head.

"No. I'm not gonna just go with it. He's up to something. Inviting me to North Carolina and now it has to be at least ten grand worth of presents for Lillian? I'm not buying it."

"What can you do?" Taylor said, holding the baby and shoving a cookie down her throat.

Haley marched right over to the phone and dialed the Scott family dealership in Tree Hill.

"It's a great day at Dan Scott Motors", the receptionist chirped into the receiver. "How may I direct your call?"

"Dan Scott, please", Haley sighed.

"Mr. Scott is in an important meeting. May I take a message, ma'am?"

"Pull him out of the meeting and tell him Haley is on the line."

After a few hesitant seconds and being put on hold, the extension was picked up.

"Dan Scott speaking. What can I do for you?"

"This is Haley?"

"Haley?" he asked in a confused voice.

She bit her lip to keep from screaming.

"Yes! Haley James. I think we've met before."

"Oh Haley", he smiled. "Didn't recognize your voice. How are you this fine day and what can I do for you?"

"Cut the act, Mr. Scott."

"It's Dan and I'm sorry I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'll refresh your memory. Do you happen to know anything about why I can't walk in my living room right now? Boxes and boxes of gifts for Lillian."

"Oh yes. I take it they arrived."

"That's an understatement."

"Well, I hope little Lillian enjoys them."

Haley shook her head in disbelief.

"I don't believe you. Why would you do something like this?"

"Like what?" he asked innocently. "Shower my only grandchild with tokens of my affection? I certainly don't mean to spoil her but we'll all allowed to splurge every now and then…right, Ms. James?"

"What are you up to?"

"I'm sorry. I have no idea what you mean."

"First off, you invite me to Deb's surprise party…"

"I hope you can make it."

"Why?"

"It'll be a nice time."

"Considering you've been treating me like garbage since we met, why all of a sudden the change of heart?"

"Maybe I didn't give you a fair shake, Haley. In any event, Lillian is my flesh and blood and you are her mother. Let's let by gones be by gones for the child's sake."

"I don't buy it. You have something up your sleeve."

He simply laughed.

"I'm sorry you feel that way and I'm even sorrier to disappoint you but this is from the goodness of my heart."

"Really? I didn't know you owned one of those."

"I see. Your hostility almost hurts my feelings but I guess I can sympathize. No need for a stroke, Haley. We've had our differences. You weren't my first choice for Nathan and hell, let's face it, you still aren't but irregardless, you are the mother of his child. That connection means you and I stuck with each other, like it or not, so let's just make the best of it. Let's be friends, Haley…hell, we were already family once and I'm sure if you have your way, that will happen again. I'm game for a truce. You?"

She wanted to throw up as she pictured his sickening smirk on the other end of the phone.

"I'm not at war with you, Dan. It's all apart of your little mind game so I'm gonna one up you and not even play."

"If that's the way you feel. Haley, I can't change the past. Forgive me for trying to change the future."

"I don't trust you. I know what you are. I see right through you."

"Really? That's interesting. I am this horrid, immoral monster that you loathe so much yet you love my son and granddaughter. That's the part I find most ironic. Because whatever it is that you think I'm so bad…well, that's in my son and my granddaughter as well. Nathan, Lillian and me? We're the same kind of people, sweetheart. Don't forget that."

Haley was speechless.

"I…I have to go", Haley stuttered.

"Take care", Dan chirped. "And I look forward to seeing you next week."

She hung up the phone with a cold chill running up and down her spine.

"You okay, Haley bub? Don't let big, bad Danny get to you."

"Easier said than done", she sighed.

Nathan knocked as he entered.

"What's all this?" he laughed as he kicked his way through boxes. "St. Nick come early?"

Haley handed him a card addressed to their daughter from his father.

"No but apparently St. Dan did."

Nathan surveyed the area.

"I can't believe it. Well, actually I can. I mean, who are we talking about here?"

"I called him on it and he's playing the role of innocent, loving grandpa. I don't know if I buy it. I still say he's up to something."

"He's just being Dan Scott", Nathan shrugged with a sigh. "Remember that brand new Mustang he bought me senior year? Money and gifts are just another element of control for him. And control equals power."

"Look, I know he's your father and maybe this is some biblical miracle and the guy actually cares and has a heart. But it's so hard for me to trust his word and I have to be extra careful anywhere Lillian is concerned. I just want to do the right thing."

"Don't worry, Hales. We're definitely on the same page. Besides, I learned a long time ago with my dad, you can never be too careful. Yeah, he might love Lil and all but trust me, Dan Scott has never done something for someone in his life that didn't benefit him somehow. That's a part of his game plan. With him you can pretty much bet somewhere, somehow there are some strings attached."


	173. Notebooks and The Notebook

The altitude of the plane changed and little Lillian cried out. Haley had been nervous about her daughter's first flight but Nathan and the others had assured her it would be okay. Before she could move, the loving father was there, gently providing their child with a pacifier. Instantly she was calmed. Haley smiled.

"Is that all it takes?" she asked.

"I guess so", Nathan grinned.

They laughed at the sucking sounds she was making with the pacifier greedily inhaling it almost. Their smiles faded however as they realized all the slurping wasn't coming from a four month old. A few feet away, Lucas and Brooke were making out like two lovesick teenagers.

"Do you two mind?" Haley cleared her throat.

"Yeah we're not trying to cock block but seriously, bro", Nathan added. "This plane is like way too small for all that. Can you guys skip the intro to the Mile High Club?"

Lucas and Brooke looked at each other and laughed as they pulled away. The truth was, it was a favorite hobby, a ritual almost for them to "christen" every plane they rode on. The biggest thrills came from riding first class in a commercial air carrier but this time the foursome plus baby had opted to charter a private plane. It was more practical and with curious onlookers and fans and rabid press, the trip would have been virtually impossible.

"Okay, okay", Brooke conceded. "But if I'm not allowed to make out with my fabulous boyfriend here, you two duds better provide some equally interesting entertainment."

"Let's watch a movie", Lucas suggested.

"Or we could play a game", Haley added.

"What did you have in mind, Buddy?"

"Spades", she winked.

Lucas licked his lips. It was on! He considered Haley to be one of the greatest card players in the world, second to only himself. They had been kicking ass and taking names together for years. His little brother and girlfriend would be no exception to the wrath.

"Game on. Hales, you and I are partners against Nate and Brooke."

"Why do I get stuck with Brooke?" Nathan frowned.

"Because you just do and Haley and I have this…I don't know, at the risk of sounding arrogant, this uncanny knack for winning, not to mention natural supremacy."

"Is that right?" Nathan questioned. "Because I've been known to win a game or two myself."

"Care to put your money where your mouth is, little brother?"

Nathan smirked.

"Who are you talking to? I've got a cool grand. We play to 250, your shuffle."

"You're on and oh…good luck with Brooke", Lucas joked.

Brooke was offended.

"Hey Broody! That's not very nice. In fact, that kind of hurts my feelings. You don't believe in me? You think just because I like pretty and girly things and I shop all the time that I'm not a good card player?"

"Brooke…"

"No. Don't you 'Brooke' me. This hurts me, Lucas. You don't know everything about me and that means you don't know what I can do. Guess I shouldn't be surprised. People have been underestimating me my whole life. I was just supposed to be the pretty, drunk cheerleader. Well, I'm more than that. Remember all the times I kicked your ass at pool?"

Lucas hung his head as did Nathan and Haley. Brooke looked upset. Maybe she was right. They automatically assumed she wouldn't be a good player. It was just a game but judging by the tears in her eyes, he had gone too far.

"I'm sorry, babe", he said softly. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Yeah, Tigger", Haley added. "I'm sure you're a great player."

"Don't listen to him", Nathan nodded. "They think their the reigning king and queen of Spades? We'll show them. I believe in you, Brooke and I'm glad you're my partner. Now what do you want to bid?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know, bid? How many books you think you can make?"

Brooke frowned.

"What the hell is a book?"

"Brooke, I thought you said you played this game before."

"Nope. Never."

"Well what was with that little Oscar winning speech you guilted Luke with five seconds ago?"

"Oh. I was just mad because he was insinuating I'm not a good player. I'm not, of course, but how did he know that? Anyway, I have a rebound rate of like ten seconds so Broody, I forgive you."

Pretty soon they were making out again. Haley just laughed as she knew Nathan hated to lose at anything. He briefly explained the concept to his new partner who seemed instantly enthused.

"Sounds easy", she piped. "I have in my hand 9 books."

"Nine, Brooke?"

"Yeppers."

"You're saying you can make nine books on your own."

"Sure can", she said proudly. "Nine whole notebooks."

Nathan buried his head in his hands.

"Books, Brooke. Not notebooks."

"Whatever", she smiled.

Lucas and Haley were loving it. Out of the four players there was only a chance for 13 total books. Combined they were confident they could make 8. That meant only 5 were available. There was no way Brooke could front the number she insisted. After the first round, a sulking Nathan and a pouting Brooke found themselves in the hole while Lucas and Haley were way ahead. By the end of the game, the scorecard read **Laley: 275, Brathan: -4**. Nathan was livid but Brooke and Lucas were back to their make out session celebrating his victory.

"Those two", Haley shook her head.

"I will never ever choose her as a partner for anything again", Nathan moped.

"Don't be a sore loser. And if it's any consolation, Luke and I would have whipped your ass no matter who you were matched with", she winked. "Now quit brooding and go play with your daughter. That should put you in a good mood."

Nathan smiled. That always put him in a good mood. He bounced Lillian around and blew raspberries on her tummy. The little girl giggled and flailed her arms. Haley smiled. Nathan was an incredible dad. She loved watching the two of them together. Pretty soon, the little girl had worn herself out and she was sleeping in the carrier. The lights dimmed and a showing of The Notebook began to play. Lucas and Nathan groaned.

"It's good", Haley promised.

"It's a chick flick", Nathan retorted.

"I wouldn't call it that…"

"Then what would you call it? No brains, blood, guts, gore, violence or action. Just two people slobbing all over each other."

"I'd say we don't need a movie for that", Haley pointed to Lucas and Brooke whose faces were once again plastered to one another.

Nathan shrugged. Haley was right about that one. He settled back in his seat and began watching. It was worse than he thought. The movie itself wasn't so bad. Sure it was a chick thing but he could dig it. It was just the whole jist of the plot. Two kids from opposite sides of the tracks meet and fall in love. They aren't together that long but the love they feel is real and true. But outside forces tear them apart and it's seven years before fate brings them back together. For Nathan, who shifted uncomfortably, the story hit a little too close to home. And his brother and Brooke practically having sex right next to them wasn't exactly helping matters any.

Nathan tried to concentrate on something else, anything else but his cheeks burned when Brooke straddled his still (thank God) fully clothed brother. Had those two any shame? Were they that in love that they couldn't wait a few hours until they were alone?

_Dammitt_, Nathan thought. _Those two are ridiculous! If clothes start coming off I swear I'm gonna open up the door and throw their asses on the wing or something. Between this dumb movie, that should have been called the Nathan and Haley Story Minus the Happy Ending, and those two hornballs, I'm about to parachute out of this thing myself._

_But Brooke does have a nice rack though. Oh God! I'm checking Brooke out! I need serious professional help. This is crazy. It's just been a long time. Months…hell, it feels like years. I'm getting older and self gratification isn't as satisfying as it used to be. I remember my first year of college, I was getting ass left and right. Ha, ha…I was a stud back in the day. Who am I kidding? I still am. I'm just going through a dry spell right now. Uh yeah…that's it. A dry spell._

_Oh man, I am ready to get off this damned plane. This is torture. Cruel and unusual punishment. Haley, The Notebook and Lucas and Brooke getting it on. How much worse can it get?_

Nathan looked down. It did get worse. Much worse.

_Son of a bitch! Dude, what is wrong with you? You make your appearance at the worst times. I swear to God! If Haley looks over here, I'm just gonna jump out of this plane. No questions asked. Oh and great…now Noah and Allie are doing it on the screen. Hey, she looks pretty hot in that wet, blue dress. Nice tits…not bad at all. Let's see…two star crossed lovers finding their way back against all odds, the sexual tension combined with love despite the fact that one of them has a fiancée. Oh yeah…sounds damned familiar. Who wrote this damned story? Nicholas Sparks? That dude is gonna get a nice little letter from me. He seriously owes me mad royalties._

Haley looked over as Nathan kept fidgeting around. She sighed heavily.

_He's probably so bored_, she mused. _I can't blame him. But what can we do? We're in the air for God's sake. This is awful. I mean, it wasn't so bad before. I just feel awkward with all the groping of Luke and Brooke now Nathan and I are watching The Notebook of all movies. _

_I love this movie. It's sweet. The love story is classic. It almost gives me hope. Maybe true love prevails after all. I mean, if Noah and Allie can survive her parents and the distance and the war and the other fiancée, maybe…oh what am I saying. This is stupid. Haley, you're being stupid. There is no chance. No chance in hell. And why even try? The romance ship sailed our asses by a long time ago, I guess I should be lucky the little dingy called "friendship" decided to come back and rescue us off the island. _

_Nathan and I are friends. Just friends. Okay, he's my baby's daddy, too. Oh God. I, Haley James, have a baby's daddy. I am a "baby's mama". Wow. Scary thought…_

_Okay, this is brutal. God, can I ask one more tiny favor? Can you make those two behind me stop? Or at least come up for air! It cannot be healthy to swap that much spit. I'm jealous. That has to be it. Oh man, I am jealous. It's because I'm horny. Like the other night I used my vibrator and…well, it did the trick but I didn't feel completely satisfied. Guess there's only so much a flesh colored penis and two double A batteries can do for you._

_Maybe I should become a nun. Or look into female castration. I'll get my na na removed and then there won't be any reason to want sex because I wouldn't get any pleasure out of it. I am such a dork! I definitely have ADD! This movie is making me want to cry, I pray Taylor won't burn the building down while I'm gone even though I'm not sure if I unplugged the flat iron! Great. Nice going, James. And now I'm stuck on this plane agitated, horny, nervous about going back to Tree Hill and dreading any interaction with Dan. Oh gosh! I can't do this. Life is just way too hard…gee, I hope Karen still makes those chicken pot pie thingys."_

"Nathan, Haley, Lucas, Brooke…we are descending upon New Brunswick County Airport. We should be landing shortly. Please buckle up", the pilot announced over the loudspeaker.

"Thank God", Nathan and Haley said at the same time.

Lucas and Brooke sat up and buckled their seatbelts. They exchanged bewildered looks. They had been the ones all hot and heavy but why were Nathan and Haley's faces so flushed?


	174. Sweet Home Carolina

**_Author's Note: Feeling a little better. Don't know how many updates there will be seeing that I am behind in everything but I'll keep trying. Thanks for all the "get well" wishes and the reviews. I was reading all the stuff you guys wrote and I found a few more flames. An interesting review from an anonymous (big surprise) reviwer named "Ally". I won't even give her the attention and satisfaction of posting what she wrote but we have another idiot on our hands and I won't even dignify it anymore. It's cool. Like I've said before, as much as I like to entertain you guys, I write more for myself. And the more I post and the more positive feedback and constructive criticism I receive, the more confident I become. I am satisfied with the job I do and I don't need confirmation from idiotic, ignorant and obviously jealous people who have no class and nothing else better to do than try to bring other people down in order to make themselves feel good._**

Haley sighed as she opened the blinds and allowed the bright sunlight to appear through the curtains. It was a beautiful and sunny day and from the window she had a perfect view of the crystal blue ocean waves crashing against the sand. Sipping a fresh cup of Folger's, she admired the sight before her. She hadn't realized just how much she missed the beach until she was back there. It had been a long time and truth be told, she never thought she'd be back at Dan Scott's beloved beach house ever again. But truth had proved to be much stranger than fiction and a whirlwind of unexpected events had turned all their lives upside down and placed them in situations one could only imagine.

She had vivid memories of the place. A party she and Lucas had attended there, invited by Nathan so he could have yet another outlet to humiliate his older brother. The time Nathan and Haley skipped school and got drunk there…only to be caught by an irate Dan hours later. Sneaking in and making love there the few weeks following their wedding, the formal's after party where the couple had been involved in a nasty fight because of, you guessed it…Chris Keller. Haley closed her eyes. The memories were tangible. They were everywhere.

"Okay", Nathan joined her, Lillian in tow. "Baby is changed, bathed, dressed, doused in sunscreen and ready to enjoy her first venture out to the beach."

Haley smiled. Lillian did look adorable in her red and white one piece shortest, complete with matching bonnet, courtesy of Auntie Brooke.

"Looks like you're good to go. Her diaper isn't on backwards so that's a start", she teased.

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. I haven't screwed that up in like forever. Besides, practice makes perfect doesn't it, Lil?"

Their daughter gurgled her approval, reaching for her newest fascination…her father's ear.

"You two ganging up on me already, huh? Not a good sign but for now have fun on your walk. You should go now before it gets too hot."

"Aren't you coming?" he frowned.

Haley shrugged.

"Maybe later. You two go on ahead. I think I'll stay here."

"Hales…"

"It's cool. Really. Besides, someone has to stick around and start preparing for this evening."

Nathan nodded. That was true. A bonfire beach barbecue had been planned for later that night at the beach house and the whole gang was to be reunited for the first time in years. Nathan, Haley, Jake, Peyton, Lucas, Brooke, Tim, Mouth, Fergie and Skills.

"Okay", he finally said. "Well, we won't be too long."

"Alright."

He gathered his daughter's stuff and went to open the door. On the other side was a beaming Dan.

"Son! Seems I arrived in the nick of time."

"Dad, what are you doing here?"

"Wanted to see my family."

"Well, Luke isn't here and Brooke is still sleeping, I think. Lillian and I were on our way out…"

"As you should. It is a beautiful day…but then again, aren't they all?"

Nathan shuddered.

"Okay now you're just starting to creep me out."

Dan just smiled.

"Well, I won't keep you. I just wanted to make sure everyone arrived alright. Your mother is going to be some kind of surprised for the party. She should be arriving from out of town sometime tomorrow night. In the meantime, I come bearing gifts."

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Dad, you've bought enough for Lillian already…"

"No, I haven't but since you say so, I did respect your wishes. I brought presents for Brooke and Haley."

He pushed his way inside, smiling at his granddaughter.

"Nate, did you forget someth…" Haley's voice trailed off.

The confrontation she had been avoiding. Now here she was face to face once again with Dan Scott. Feeling slightly embarrassed in her pajama bottoms and sleep tank top, she took a deep breath.

"Mr. Scott…"

"Are we still on that? Dan, I've told you a million times."

"Right", she sighed.

"For you."

Haley frowned as her wretched former father in law presented her with the largest, prettiest bouquet of wildflowers she had ever seen.

"Um…thanks, I think", she accepted, not quite knowing what to say as an equally dumbfounded Nathan just shrugged.

"God, I can never find anything I need in this house", Brooke complained as she dragged from downstairs. "It's so much simpler when I'm sneaking in and fumbling around the dark trying to seduce Broody."

The brunette, locks wet from her shower, plopped down in her purple robe and reached for an apple as she slapped some cream cheese on a bagel.

"Miss Davis", Dan acknowledged. "So nice to see you again."

"Oh…hey, Mr. Scott…"

"Dan…"

"Dan."

Brooke grinned sheepishly. Why was she always sticking her foot in her mouth and revealing her and Luke's sexcapades whenever his parents happened to be around?

"Here", he handed her a gift wrapped box. "I had a brief business excursion to Brussels and I thought of you."

Brooke opened it. It was a spectacular array of every chocolate imaginable.

"Thanks", she said in surprise.

"You are very welcome. Now I see that everyone is having a busy morning so I won't keep you…"

Lillian began to fuss and her grandfather was instantly at her side. It was like she was crying out for him and the second his attentions were focused upon her, she seemed to instantly calm. Nathan, Haley and Brooke exchanged glances. Freaky was the only way to really describe it.

"She's okay, Dad…" Nathan said uncomfortably.

"May I?" he reached for her.

She seemed to gravitate naturally towards him and once in his arms, she was happy and smiling.

"Unreal", Brooke muttered.

Everyone else seemed to share the same sentiments. For Haley it was like being in a horror movie. Telepathically she was crying out to Lillian, screaming and begging for her to realize she was in the clutches of Tree Hill's most infamous monster. But in a child's loving eyes, she only saw Grandpa. Dan lovingly and tenderly cradled and cooed to her as her parents and Brooke looked on silently.

"Dad, it's getting late and I wanted to get her out on the beach before it got too hot…"

"Of course", he said, depositing the child back into her father's arms.

Lillian began to cry again.

"Where's her pacifier?" Haley asked.

Dan leaned in.

"Hush now, sweet angel", he spoke softly. "Don't cry. Everything is going to be alright. I'll see you again soon I promise. Now you be good for Daddy."

His tone was so calm and sweet that it was eerie enough to send chills down your spine. What was even more peculiar was the way the baby seemed to understand and obediently comply with his requests.

"Look, we'll see you around, man…" Nathan began.

"Of course", Dan nodded. "I look forward to it. Ladies…I hope you enjoy your gifts and I can't wait to see you at the party."

He gave one last smirky smile and he was off.

"Okay, is that like the freakiest thing you've ever seen?" Brooke asked in disbelief when he was gone.

"Don't even ask", Haley shook her head.

Nathan took a deep breath,

"We'll be on the beach", he mumbled as he took Lillian.

Haley closed her eyes as the door shut behind him.

"Please don't say anything", she whispered to Brooke. "Nathan and I already know and trust me, we're terrified. Either there is a tiny hint of good deep inside him and only Lillian can see or my child is the second coming evil clone of Dan Scott. We're not hoping for the latter."

Brooke half smiled as she bit into a chocolate.

"Only in Tree Hill…oh God, this is orgasmic!"

"Don't eat those!"

"Why not? They're good."

"They're from Dan."

"Hey, chocolate is chocolate, even if it is from the Devil. You toss your flowers if you want but keep your hands off my candy", she pouted.

Haley out her hands on my hips.

"This just makes me nervous."

"Dan?"

"Dan, Deb, the party, being with our friends tonight…being back here period, I guess."

"It'll be okay. I guess it's weird being back after everything, huh? You've been so many places and you've seen and done so much with your life. It must be crazy to come back here where it all began."

Haley poured herself another cup of coffee before settling down next to her friend.

"That's the funny thing about it all Tigger", she sighed. "Sometimes I feel like I haven't been here in forever…and sometimes it feels like I never left."


	175. No Problems

"One more round of shots", Tim announced as he spread the wealth.

Skills eyed it cautiously.

"Dog, what the hell is this again?"

"Jello shooters, my brother", he grinned. "And I made them myself."

"That's what I'm afraid of…"

"Skills may be your name but the Tim is the one with all the skills. Please try my specialty Blue Margarita Jello Shooter made with the finest tequila, Blue Curacao, and water, and I'm talking the good bottled stuff like Evian and not that shit from the tap. Or may I suggest the Cherry Libre shot? Made with cherry flavored Jello mix, duh, white rum and Coca Cola for that added twang. Or for those of you with less sophisticated tastes, shall we say, might prefer plain old cranberry Jello and Vodka."

The adults smiled as they downed their shots of Tim's alcohol, all except Haley and Nathan that is. Separated by a huge picnic table that housed the remains of chicken, burgers, hot dogs, potato salad, watermelon and homemade ice cream. All kinds of soda pop, lemonade and of course beer had been the beverages of choice but for two parents, two former lost loves, ice cold bottled water had been the drink of the evening.

Haley looked around. She had been so nervous about the reunion but it had turned out nicely. It felt good to see everyone again. There was no awkwardness, just the feel good simplicity of "old times", the fun and carefree vibe that defined their friendship. It reminded her of the "good old days"…days she thought would never come again. The guys taking turns from manning thr grill and guzzling beer while keeping up some kind of soccer or football game on the beach. Music blared in the background as they frolicked in the water and ate and laughed as they caught up on the years. Haley smiled as her hair blew in the night ocean breeze and she pulled a sleeping Lillian closer to her.

She closed her eyes. Tim, the newly responsible and mature law student was still the same wacky but lovable "Dim" as Brooke so affectionately called him. He made his corny jokes and passed the alcohol freely. Lucas and Brooke were still the same "Broody and Cheery", smiling and joining in the conversation as she sat atop his lap. Jake, Skills and Fergie tossed a football in the sand by the bonfire as Peyton looked on. The stereo blasted the coolest tunes courtesy of Tree Hill's still coolest deejay, Mouth McFadden.

It reminded her of Dare Night. Shortly after she and Nathan had married, Felix and Anna del Gado had moved to town. Felix was flashy and cocky and had organized an evening that pitted the guys against the girls in a series of dares that ranged from everything from singing live karaoke to taking a photo in an open grave of a real life cemetery. It had been wild and crazy but still fun. One of her last high school memories and one of her favorites at that. Time had changed them all. They had grown up. Some had moved away. All had gone on to college and careers and different things but for one night at the beach, time had seemed to stand still.

"Hey Tim, how about another shot?" Mouth asked.

Jake laughed.

"You better slow your roll, dude. How many is that? Five?"

Mouth grinned and shrugged.

"Liquid courage for my last night of freedom so to speak. Tomorrow I'm planning on asking Erica to marry me."

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box that housed a carat diamond on a platinum setting. Erica Marsh, the once stuffy and stuck up class president Mouth had unexpectedly fallen for during senior year. That had dated ever since and made the most adorable couple. Now he was making it official.

"The old ball and chain?" Lucas laughed.

Brooke smacked him.

"Mouth, don't listen to this guy. I for one am very happy for you and I think this proposal is great! I love weddings! And nice job by the way on the selection of the rock. Very, very impressive!"

"It is cool", Fergie knocked fists with him. "You and Erica always did make a nice couple."

Mouth smiled dreamily.

"I love her so much", he beamed. "She's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. I just want to spend the rest of my life with Erica."

"But isn't that how it's been all along? I mean you guys have been together forever. What has changed that makes you think you need a piece of paper to be able to do all that?" Peyton asked.

"Here we go again", Jake sighed. "Pey…"

"No, I'm serious, babe. I just want his honest opinion. You know my whole marriage philosophy anyway. I don't think a legal document makes love and commitment any more or less real."

"Okay but do you really have to rain on Mouth's parade right now, Debbie Downer?"

"I agree", Lucas stated. "Marriage is a formality. Loving someone unconditionally and being there for them and taking vows even is not solidified by a legal document."

Brooke scoffed.

"Thanks a lot, Broody."

"What?"

"There goes my ring", she huffed.

"You want a ring?" he asked. "Since when?"

"Well, duh. That's a stupid question. What girl doesn't. It might be a formality but it's still a necessary one. It's your way of telling the world and making it official and declaring your love to the world."

"Why does it matter what the world thinks? Shouldn't that be sacred between two people?"

Brooke looked him right in the eye.

"It's nice to feel wanted and it's nice to be spoken for. It's important to know someone loves you and values your relationship enough to make it official. It does matter. It matters a lot", she spoke softly.

"Brooke…"

What was she hinting at? Did Brooke Davis actually want to get married? Had he been missing the signals? This was certainly news to him.

"We'll talk about this later."

"Okay, okay", Tim laughed. "Beep! Stop put it in reverse! The Tim is way too drunk for this and the conversation is getting kind of heavy. Pucas, you and Brooke are the perfect couple, married or not. Same goes for Jake and Peyton and Mouth and Erica."

"Yeah", Skills added. "Ain't no use in arguing. Besides, ain't no such thing as the perfect couple."

Tim took another shot and laughed.

"I don't know. Nathan and Haley were the perfect couple, you know, back in the day."

Everyone cringed as his large consumption of alcohol seemed to be speaking for him.

"Dim…" Brooke muttered.

"What?" he shrugged.

An uncomfortable silence befell the group.

"Tim…just put a cork in it, man", Lucas politely but tersely said.

"What? I'm just saying they were cute together…you know, before the drama and the bullshit and the whole leaving Nate for Chris Keller and the tour thing."

Only Tim. God knows he meant no harm. He just said what was on his mind, no matter how dumb or inconsiderate it may have come out.

"Man, that was a long time ago", Nathan tried to nervously laugh the situation off.

Tim shrugged, taking another shot.

"It wasn't that long ago, man", he replied as a whimsical look shadowed his eyes and his voice took a softer tone. "Besides, you really, really loved that girl. You two were good together. It's a shame it didn't work out…"

A silence befell the crowd as everyone looked away uncomfortably in the night breeze.

"Tim", Peyton warned softly, nodding at Nathan and Haley.

"Oh my bad", he apologized quickly. "Damn, y'all. I'm sorry. It's the Vodka in my Jello shots talking. I wasn't trying to be rude or ruin the party. I…I was just thinking about how it all used to be. I guess my point is, you never forget your first love but. No hard feelings, huh? Haley? Nate?"

"It's fine, Tim", Haley managed to smile.

"We're cool", Nathan bumped fists with him.

There was a mild level of discomfort but slowly the group was able to regain the light hearted and playful banter they had enjoyed all evening.

"It's getting really late", Haley announced. "I think I should go in and put Lillian down…"

"I'll help", Nathan volunteered, already standing.

Carefully the two unloaded their daughter into the crib placed beside the bed where Haley was sleeping in the beach house.

"I'll bring the baby monitor out. She should sleep for a few hours though."

"Okay", Nathan shoved his hands in his pockets. "Hey, Haley…"

"What's up?" she turned to him.

"Nothing…just that stuff Tim was talking out there…"

"It's okay", she said, her face beginning to redden a bit. "He's drunk. It's no big deal. He's just Tim being Tim."

Nathan swallowed hard. He opened his mouth to say something but he hadn't thought his words through. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what he wanted to say. Judging by her casual reaction, it didn't matter much.

"Yeah…" Nathan sighed. "You're right. It's just Tim, right?"

"Right", she said. "Come on. You ready to go back out?"

"Uh, yeah."

She smiled as she grabbed the baby monitor. On the way out, Nathan grabbed a thin jacket and draped it over her bare shoulders.

"Thanks", she said.

"No, problem, ma'am."

Haley stopped dead in her tracks. The half smile on his face said it all. Then the conversation and that day came flooding back to her all at once. The morning after her bridal shower, the one where Peyton and Brooke had dragged her to lingerie shop and to the club and of course the hunky male stripper that had joined them. It was a night that only solidified the marriage and proved what both Nathan and Haley already knew…they were soul mates.

That night they had made love, he turned on beyond belief with that hot little lace number she had brought home as part of the bridal gift packet. It was more uninhibited than usual and that morning instead of being embarrassed or timid, Haley had found herself in a playful mood. She sat at the kitchen table doing an English paper on the laptop when he came out from the bedroom dressed in his work clothes and gave her a kiss. Feeling frisky, Haley asked him not to change when he got home. She gave him a saucy wink and let him know she was "kind of into that whole mechanic thing". Not missing a beat, he had said in his most professional voice, "No, problem ma'am." It made her giggle and feel ridiculously tingly inside. It was a running joke but when he was home and she was ripping his coveralls off of him before he could get both feet in the door, it was no laughing matter.

"Nathan", she whispered, looking into his eyes.

"Nate, hey dog, can you grab that tray of devilled eggs off the table?" Skills called out.

The two were just staring at each other not quite knowing what to say or how to act. Finally Haley reached back and handed him the tray.

"Thanks", he said.

She grinned as she held open the door for him.

"No problem, sir."


	176. Happy Birthday, Darling

**_Author's Note: Flashback scenes written in Italics..._**

Deb sighed as her plane landed and she made her way through the throngs of other passengers to retrieve her luggage from baggage claim. Traveling always put her mind into perspective. It made her think. It made her evaluate her own life.

It was her 43rd birthday. When she looked in the mirror, she looked better than most women half her age. Not too many 43 year olds could actually say that. Her tan was natural and her wrinkle free, tight face was proudly Botox free. Her boobs, as firm and perky as they were enormous, were the real deal and the flat stomach with its 26 inch waist bore no bearings or marks that 24 years prior, an eight pound baby had rested there.

Yes she was a beauty with her stylishly cut dyed blonde locks, expressive blue eyes and warm, sincere smile. Every year she drove around town in the brand new car of her choice, she lived in the biggest home in Tree Hill and her youthful clothes were from the trendiest and most expensive designers. She was at the center of the Southern elite social circle, one of the most envied women in all of North Carolina. Gorgeous, sweet disposition, married to the handsome, charming and wealthy Dan Scott. To the outside world, her life was the fodder dreams were made of.

But who was Deborah Ann Lee Scott on the inside? Who was the woman behind the soft voice and shy smile? She had grown up in Raleigh to privileged parents, her only sibling, a younger brother named, Cooper, who joined her when she was eight years old. She was a pretty child, an exceptional student and the all around square who favored babysitting as opposed to dates with cute boys. She was a former girl scout, a cheerleader, Debutante of the Year. She enrolled in college ready to take on a new life. Then she saw him…

The story is legendary how two people eye one another from across a crowded room. That's exactly how it went down for the two freshman during their orientation. He was tall and lanky with a slightly muscular build. His brown hair could have used a cut and he was as goofy as he was cocky. But there was something about him. Something sweet yet dangerous at the same time that endured her. If ever love at first sight existed, it did for Deb Lee and Dan Scott. He invited her out for a hot dog that evening. They had their first official date that weekend. By the following week they were inseparable. By the next week, they were sleeping together exclusively.

It was the start of the chain of events that would change and sculpt her life. Dan, who bragged about a future in the NBA, blew out his knee with an injury. And as if his news wasn't earth shattering enough, Deb would soon have a mind blowing headline of her own.

She made excuses when her period was late. She blamed the morning sickness on the flu. But two pink lines on a home pregnancy kit confirmed her worst fears. There were decisions to make of course but for Deb there was only one real decision. As terrified as she was, she couldn't see herself aborting her unborn baby. And there was no way she could carry a child for nine months only to give it away to be raised by strangers. There was only one thing to do.

Her mind was made up. She was having her baby. She would tell Dan and see what he had to say. She knew him…he loved her and he would do the right thing. They would get married and finish college and raise a family together. Her parents would be disappointed but as long as she was a wife before she became a mother, she knew she would have their full fledged financial and emotional support.

And just like how she envisioned it, it happened. A shotgun wedding and an off campus apartment. Dan dibble dabbled in several business ventures before finally deciding on an automobile dealership that the Lee's gladly invested in. The acquirement would lead the young family back to his roots of Tree Hill.

Deb was happy. Those first years were the happiest of her whole life. She was a young stay at home mom and wife, devoted to her husband and child. The marriage was happy and the long hours Dan put in at the office were compensated by the time she got to spend with their little boy, Nathan Daniel. It was suburban utopia but it would all change with the move back to Tree Hill.

Lovable, sweet, tender, caring, sensitive Dan was replaced by a distant, cold, ruthless, bitter, down right nasty jerk of a man. He wasn't the husband he used to be and most father son moments were spent with Dan the dictator relentlessly coaching a little boy prodigy who could barely bounce the ball that seemed to be bigger than him.

What had happened? Why was her life seemingly falling apart before her eyes? Deb had questions and she wanted, she needed…no, she demanded answers. She'd never forget that stormy night she waited for him. The thunder rolled outside but it was even louder in her heart and mind. It was unyielding. Standing there watching the near identical bags circle around the luggage rack, Deb could remember the conversation like it was yesterday. Perhaps it was the most defining moment in their marriage and maybe in their lives.

"_Who is she?" the 23 year old blonde asked her husband coldly as he entered their home._

"_What?"_

"_You heard me, Dan. I know you're having an affair, now tell me who she is."_

_Dan rolled his eyes in typical Scott fashion as he made himself a drink._

"_Please, Deb. Spare me the theatrics at least for one night. I swear if you don't lay off the soap operas or Oprah or whatever is putting these ludicrous ideas in your head, you're gonna wind up with a one way ticket to the looney bin for desperate, deranged and spoiled housewives."_

"_Karen Rowe", she simply stated._

_He stopped and his blood ran ice cold._

"_What did you say?"_

"_You heard me. Now I want to know who she is."_

"_It doesn't matter…"_

"_The hell it doesn't!"_

"_What do you want from me, Deb?"_

"_How about the truth, you selfish, lying son of a bitch?"_

"_Lower your voice before you wake Nathan."_

"_Don't you even mention our son's name. Not as long as you're having your dirty little affair. Now who is she? Someone from work? Or let me guess, the country club?"_

"_You have no idea what you're talking about."_

"_Fine. I want you out of this house. I'm not going to be one of those wives letting you get away with murder while everyone in this godforsaken town knows you're cheating on me. I want a divorce, Dan! You'll never see me or Nathan again."_

"_Deb, you're talking nonsense. Just shut up."_

"_Get out now! Go be with your little whore, Karen."_

"_Dammitt, Deb, I am not having an affair with Karen Rowe!"_

"_Then who is she?"_

_He sighed._

"_Someone I used to know a long time ago. My girlfriend before you. I see while you were rummaging through my affairs, my business affairs, that is, your Sherlock Holmes snooping neglected to discover that I am filing a petition to take her to court."_

"_Court? Why?"_

"_There are things I haven't told you. Secrets I kept to protect you and Nathan but now your curiosity has forced my hand. Sit down, my dear…I have some rather explosive news and it's going to hurt."_

"_Dan…"_

"_Karen and I dated in high school. After graduation and before college, she told me she was pregnant. I chose not to be a part of her life…or her child's."_

"_What?" Deb whispered in disbelief. "Are…are you telling me…"_

"_I fathered another child, a little boy born before Nathan. I am suing Karen for visitation."_

He said it almost nonchalantly. Hell, the son of a bitch was even smug about it. How could he do that to Karen? What made Deb different? Why had he never told her of this other child? And didn't it all at least warrant a conversation before he was so bold to sue for joint custody?

That changed everything for Deb. Their fights because of the matter became legendary. She didn't know if she was angrier because he had kept it secret from her or just because the secret itself existed. And custody? But it would never come to that. Karen stood her ground. She didn't want Dan or his money and after the lawyers made it clear that he had a snowball's chance in hell of winning due to the abandonment, reluctantly, he gave up. It was one of the few times he would ever admit defeat in his life.

They moved on but just across town were the whisperings of Dan's dirty little secret. At times his behavior became more impossible to live with. She grew sullen, bored, angry…restless. Worst of all, Nathan was growing up and mother and son were growing apart. Another baby wasn't the answer…Dan and Deb had long ago decided not to have any more children. But her growing unhappiness proved too much to bear so she assumed the challenges of a new job, headlining a local board that raised funds for various needy charities. It was a position she excelled in and the newfound calling took her away on many travels across the country and abroad. She needed that break from suffocating stronghold Tree Hill had enveloped around her being and soon a handsome, dashing sales director would remedy the suffocating, stronghold Dan Scott held over her heart.

A sexual relationship with another man was the last thing she expected. But he was so handsome and sincere and genuine. He showered her with attention, affection and gifts. Her opinion mattered to him. He was sweet and funny and caring…all the things Dan Scott no longer was. A new man offered her a new life, which was fine for a while expect the fact it was impossible to escape her old one. Dan was on to the affair. Much to her surprise, he wasn't angry, vengeful or forceful. Instead he was wounded and apologetic, doing whatever it took to bring her home and restore the love they once shared. She did still love him but more than that, she missed her son. Nathan was her whole world. It took a while but she soon realized the error of her ways. A pre mid life crisis had caused her to abandon the things that actually meant the most.

Dan forgave her, or as much as Dan was willing to forgive anyone. They moved on. She continued her work with the foundation, staying faithful but the absences grew longer and more frequent. One day she returned home to a son she hardly recognized. He was aggressive and angry, brooding and surly. Trouble seemed to follow him wherever he went and most times he welcomed it, a mean spirited, arrogant bully knowing either his basketball talents or rich daddy would bail him out of whatever debacle he had managed to wriggle himself into.

The rest was a blur. More like a movie someone was fast forwarding through. Nathan nearly dying from abusing performance enhancing drugs in order to impress his dad on the court. The merger of Lucas and Karen into their lives. Her unlikely friendship and connection with Karen. Separating from Dan. Filing for divorce. Nathan's emancipation. Nathan's teenage marriage to Haley James. Dan's heart attack and HCM diagnosis. Deb's one night indiscretion with Keith. The aftermath. Her dependency on prescription drugs and the subsequent rehab. God, a person could go nuts thinking about it all. But it was her life.

Yes, it was her life, she sighed as she hailed a taxi that would take her back to the mansion on the hill. She didn't bother calling her husband. She didn't feel much like seeing him although that would be inevitable. His smirk would surely be waiting on her, watered down whiskey in hand.

Fresh tears welled in Deb's eyes as an anger she had never felt raged deep inside her. She was tired. Her mind was tired and so was her soul…not to mention her heart. She had long hoped and prayed for some kind of change. She yearned for something better, something more…happiness. She had resolved herself to the fact that it may never happen. As a mother and grandmother, she'd gladly sacrifice her own contentment for their joy. But still it was harder and harder to go back to that huge, lonely, empty house. To go back to him.

"Deb", Dan said rather startled as she entered the back. "You're home…"

"I live here, don't I?"

He smirked just as she knew he would.

"It's nice to see you too, sweetheart."

He leaned in for a hug but she put her hand up, stopping him.

"Dan, please…"

He cocked an eye at her and extended his hand in a business like shake. She shook her head.

"I take it you weren't off attending the seminar of good manners", he quipped.

"Just save it, Dan."

She dropped her bags and swung open the refrigerator.

"What now, sweetheart?" he cooed.

"Oh please. Whatever you're up to…"

"What makes you think I'm up to something?"

"You're always up to something, Dan. I'm sick of this! All of it! Of this life, this house…you! You don't love me! You don't love me and you don't appreciate me…"

Dan hung his head as his wife continued her rampage. A smile crept to his lips. Should he warn her that their children, family, friends and half of the population of Tree Hill was just a few feet away out on the patio? He shook his head. Nah! That would be too easy. Instead, he slowly walked outside knowing she would be hot on his heels still ranting and raving.

"Are you finished, Deb?" he asked quietly, taking a sip.

Her blue eyes widened and her face grew hot with anger.

"Am I finished? Hell no, I'm not finished! And don't you dare interrupt me, Dan Scott!"

"Honey, please. If I could just…"

"No, you can't!"

"But I was going to say…"

She brushed by him and found herself face to face with the stunned crowd of friends and loved ones.

"Surprise!" they managed to meekly yell finally.

Deb wanted to die! She turned around and looked at her miserable, shrugging, smirking, snake of a husband. He had done what he had set out to do. He had humiliated her or better yet let her humiliate herself. She wanted to murder him!

"Happy Birthday, darling", he grinned.


	177. What A Girl Wants

Embarrassed and tearful, Deb stood as the onlookers gawked at her like the manic psycho she surely appeared to be.

"I'm sorry", she whispered.

"It's okay", Karen ushered over to her.

"Oh Karen…"

"Sweetie, you're fine", the brunette assured her. "Why don't you go upstairs and freshen up? When you come back, we'll have cake and champagne."

"I...I didn't know. You must think I'm some sort of lunatic for going off like that. I just had a lot on my mind and..."

"No need to explain. It's okay."

Deb nodded as Karen helped her inside, both women glaring at Dan who just gave themthemost innocent ofshrugs.

"Poor Deb", Lucas whispered to Brooke from across the way. "I wonder what happened there."

"Your dad is looking overly innocent so I'm sure he had something to do with it", she rolled her eyes and walked away.

"Hey", he went after her, following her into the house. "You okay?"

"I'm fine."

He took a deep breath. Whenever a woman, any woman, huffed and puffed and said she was "fine", it meant anything but. He watched her as she made herself a mixed drink despite the fact there was an open bar just a few feet away. Her movements were hasty and her lips maneuvered into a permanent scowl. Brooke Davis wasn't a happy camper.

"Hey, hey, hey", he whispered. "Want to slow down for a minute?"

He turned her around slowly to face him.

"Luke…"

"Babe, talk to me."

"About what?"

He tucked a ringlet of dark hair behind her ear.

"About whatever is bothering you. What's on your mind?"

Brooke took a deep breath.

"It's not important", she snapped.

"Obviously it is if it's making you this upset and don't try to say you're not upset. I know you. Whatever it is, if it's important to you, then it's important to me."

Brooke looked around at their surroundings.

"Now isn't the time or place, Lucas."

He pulled her into a private room.

"Now is just as good a time as any. Besides, I can't take much more of you being so miserable. Now speak."

"Lucas…"

"Is this about last night? About all that wedding stuff we were talking about?"

Brooke looked away, tears threatening to sting her eyes.

"Look, I don't want to fight with you…"

"Good because I don't want to fight with you either."

"It's just…"

"Just what?"

"We're two different people, Luke. We've always been. I get that. I'm okay with that but…we feel very passionately and very differently about certain things, marriage being one of them."

"I never knew how you felt. I guess we never talked about it."

"Yeah…I guess we never did."

"Well, maybe we should."

"Right now?"

"Right now, right here."

She sighed heavily.

"What can I say? I'm still the dumb girl that dares to believe in the fairytale. I want it all, you know? I want the knight in shining armor on the white horse to come in and sweep me off my feet. I guess I've always wanted that. For a while it didn't seem possible. I had to give up that fantasy to protect myself, to protect my heart. Then…"

"Then what?"

"Then you came back, Lucas, and everything changed."

"I hurt you badly before and I swore that if you ever gave me a second chance, I would not let that happen again. I have done my damnest not to backtrack on that agreement. Brooke, you took a chance on me."

"Yeah, I did."

"Well how do you feel about that now? Any regrets?"

She looked him deep in the eyes.

"I love you. I love you more than you could ever know and I've never been happier."

Lucas smiled faintly.

"And what's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing. It's just that it's 'now'."

"Okay…"

"And 'now' is fine but what about the later?"

Lucas laughed out loud.

"Brooke…"

"I'm glad one of us is amused", she folded her arms.

"Sorry, babe but what do you want me to say? You know how much I love you. I tell you all the time and I try my best to show it every single day. You're it for me. I want you, I want us forever. Trustme, I am not going anywhere ever.That's how I feel and I don't need a judge or a preacher or a piece of paper to back that up. But if that's what you want…"

"Then what?"

Lucas slid down on one knee and gently placed her smaller hand inside his.

"Marry me."

"Lucas…"

"What? I mean it. I'm dead serious. I wouldn't ask if I wasn't. I love you, Brooke. Marry me right now."

She shook her head as she rubbed the inside of his palm with her thumb.

"No", she whispered.

What was left of Luke's smile quickly faded.

"Are you kidding, baby?"

"Does it look like I'm kidding?" she asked softly.

"I don't get this", he shook his head. "Brooke, sometimes I don't get you. I thought this is what you wanted."

"That's the thing", she responded softly. "I guess you really don't get me after all."

She stood to leave.

"Brooke!"

"Lucas, don't…"

Now it was his turn to want to cry.

"Don't do this. I'm sorry. Whatever I did wrong, I'll fix it. You know that I love you…"

She placed a soft peck on his lips.

"Yes, I do know that. And I love you, Broody."

"Then let's talk about this. Let's work this out together."

"Luke…"

"Whatever you want…"

She stroked the stubble of beard growing on his cheek.

"What I reallywant is for usto go back out there and join the party."

"But …"

"It's okay. Really. I'm fine. Okay? All on me, I was just having one of my notorious 'Brooke' moments. I'm sorry for the meltdown. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm okay."

"No, don't apologize…"

"It's fine. Really", she reached for his hand. "Now I am obviously the best looking chick here and you're the most handsome date. So let's say we go back out there and wow them."

She was smiling to cover up the pain and that was evident but it was no use in arguing with her. Instead, Lucas forced a smile of his own.

"Okay", he took her hand.

They made their way back outside to a celebration that was in full swing. Brooke worked the crowd, looking stunning as she did. Lucas couldn't help but watch her. God, he loved her so much. He had lost her once and God forbid he ever did again, he'd be a complete basket case. She had assured him they were okay and her bright smile and flawless Southern manners seemed to support that. But deep down he saw something else. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but whatever it was, it wasn't good. It could be the one and final thing to drive them apart forever. Just the thought of it made Lucas Scott shudder with fear.


	178. Dare You To Move

Haley straightened her baby blue tank top over the long black skirt that met her black sandaled heels. Her pastel made up face and straightened hair fell on bare, tanned shoulders. It was Deb's big day and already the drama had began with her former mother in law's arrival. She took a deep breath. She knew what she was in for and that had been the basis of her apprehension in the first place.

"Looking for an escape route already?"

Nathan was smiling at her from the doorway. He looked handsome in his own blue and khaki ensemble. As always the color really set off his eyes. She looked at him and prayed he wouldn't be able to see the goose bumps spreading across her exposed flesh.

"Nathan…"

"Let the drama commence, I guess."

"I guess. Forgive me if I'm afraid to go out there."

"Stalling, huh?"

Haley grinned.

"Officially, yes but unofficially no because I am waiting for your daughter to wake up so I can get her dressed and outside."

"Using the kid for an excuse…nice!" he smiled. "Looks like you need some help so I guess I'll hang out here with you."

"How convenient."

He smiled and shrugged.

"Can you blame me for not wanting to join the party from hell?"

"Not really so feel free to hang out as long as Lillian wants to nap."

Nathan sighed as he sat on the bed, a clear view of the party going on outside.

"Why did we agree to this again?"

"Because it's for your mom."

Nathan nodded.

"I hope she's okay. I don't know what the hell was going on when she walked in. She looked pretty pissed though. Then again, it was my dad so who can blame her, right?"

"I guess…"

"Look, I know how weird this must be for you. I've said it before but it's worth saying again. Thanks for doing this."

"It's for Lillian", she shrugged.

"I know but it means a lot to my mom…and it means a lot to me. So thank you again for doing this, especially when you don't have to."

"I just never thought I'd be back here", she sighed, taking a seat on the bed.

"In Dan Scott's house?"

"Especially Dan Scott's house", she smiled. "But I guess I'm talking about Tree Hill altogether. It's weird…so much drama and so many years later you're here, I'm here…and we have a baby together."

"I know", he said quietly.

"It's what I always wanted, you know, when we first got married and stuff. I pictured it this way. It was a pretty simple vision then."

"I bet…"

"Nathan, do you think…"

"Think what?"

She looked away.

"Never mind."

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"You know that's my pet peeve, Hales. Whatever it was you were going to say, just say it."

"I was just wondering how it would have been if I…"

"If you'd never left?"

"Yeah", she answered softly. "I guess."

Nathan had thought about it too. He had imagined every scenario possible in his head. What if Haley had stayed behind and he had gone pro anyway? Or what if they had remained in Tree Hill, him at the dealership, or a schoolteacher or partner in Karen's café?

"I don't know", he said. "Guess we'll never know."

Haley sighed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up…"

"It's okay. Look, we've been through a lot, a hell of a lot. But the past is done now. We can't change it. Now it's about the future and whatever is best for Lil."

"I know. You're right, Nathan. It's about facing whatever lies next…and right now that means the party and a certain host I have been carefully avoiding."

Nathan smiled.

"Time to wake her, huh?"

"Let the temper tantrum begin", she joked as she reached for the diaper bag.

It tipped over, leaving the contents everywhere. She went to retrieve them and Nathan bent down to help her. They stuffed the products back inside the bag, their hands grazing every now and then. Finally the only thing between them was the overstuffed bag. But the couple was breathless, crouched on their hands and knees, faces just inches apart.

Suddenly Haley jolted back to the halls of Tree Hill High School. It was a few weeks after they had begun dating and she was still getting used to having a boyfriend, much less Nathan Scott, the most popular Raven of them all. She was on her way to her next class and pulled her by the arm in a vacant room. Soon his soft lips and cotton like tongue were exploring the tender insides of her mouth.

"_Nathan, we can't do this here", she giggled, somewhere between embarrassment and sheer jubilation._

"_We just did", he grinned before winking and walking off. "I'll kiss you later."_

God, she would never forget how she felt at that moment. Her heart pounded…it was still pounding for him years later.

Man, her eyes. They captivated him, paralyzed him almost. Haley James had always had that effect on him. He remembered another night years ago when there had been another party at the Scott house. Haley had simply dropped off cakes from the café and his mother had insisted she stay. He was glad to see her…really glad. He offered a drink but before they could have a seat, a drunken, obnoxious Brooke interrupted with a lie that Nathan had shown a personal note Haley had written for him to everyone. Yes it was a lie but he would never forget that hurt look on Haley's face when she told him to stay away from her. Later that night, he had followed her to the café where she had fled. He was apologetic, rehearsing his words on the walk over. He hoped she would believe him, forgive him. He was sorry. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop thinking about those baby brown eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about the urge to hold her, kiss her tears away, make her feel safe…

_He banged softly on the door after watching her half heartedly wipe down the countertop._

"_Can I come in?" he asked._

_She just gave him one look with those eyes and an expression spoke volumes, more than any words could have as she turned the lights off in his face._

"_Haley, I didn't know. Come on! Please…you've got to believe me."_

Staring at those eyes that night he was forced to admit how much he actually cared about her. Her rejection had hurt him. Her eyes were beautiful and so powerfully hypnotic.

"Nathan…" she whispered, unable to move.

"Hales…"

They knew what their hearts were screaming for but the voice of logic was begging for them to hold back.

"What are we doing?" she asked.

"I don't know."

She stood first and went to rouse the baby. Nathan stopped her.

"Hales…"

She wanted to run. She wanted to scream. He turned her to face him, his calloused hands resting on the smooth skin of her shoulders. Her eyes were begging him to stop, begging him to not let it go to that point of no return. They had come so far. A child's welfare was at stake. Was a few seconds of brief passion even worth it?

"Aunt Haley, Mom is looking for you", Jenny announced as she barged in the room. "Oh hey, Uncle Nathan. Is it time for Lillian to wake up?"

Haley pulled away immediately.

"Yes", she sputtered. "Um, Jen, you want to help me dress her?"

"Yay!" the little girl said with excitement as Nathan gathered himself and headed back outside.

He stood in a corner alone, just trying to catch his breath and collect his thoughts. Something had almost happened between them. It was horrifyingly scary yet deliciously wonderful at the same time. Heart racing and little beads of sweat beginning to form on his forehead, he reached into the huge ice cooler behind him to grab a bottle of water.

"Watch it, Boozy the sequel", Dan grinned.

Nathan looked over to see he was dangerously close to the bottles of beer.

"I was going for the water, man."

"If that's your story…" he grinned smugly. "So, enjoying the festivities? Where is that beautiful granddaughter of mine?"

"With her mother."

Dan peered around the corner.

"Well, I hope Haley hurries", he glanced at his watch. "She's going to be late."

"Late for what?" Nathan questioned.

Just then Haley joined them, baby in tow.

"Bathed, changed and dressed and in a semi decent mood", she referred to the child she cradled at her bosom.

"Fantastic!" Dan grinned. "And right on cue…"

"On cue?" Haley asked.

Before she and Nathan could pose anymore questions, they were greeted, practically bombarded rather, by the clicking cameras and intrusive flashes from several members of the paparazzi.

"Over here, Nathan!"

"Smile, Haley!"

"Let us get a shot of the kid!"

Nathan and Haley were horrified. So that was Dan's master plan…a massive publicity stunt and staged photo opportunity. It was almost too much to take in. Maybe it was all a mistake…but the sinister grin on Dan's face told another story.


	179. Sacrificial Lamb

Haley couldn't believe it. She had spent the past year of her life dodging the paparazzi hounds and in the supposed sanctity of a private, family gathering, the relentless leeches were there, intrusive cameras in tow, stealing still shots of her most intimate moments.

"Stop!" she yelled, using her arm to shield her crying daughter's face.

Nathan was just as disoriented as he put a protective arm around his ex wife and daughter.

"Nathan, Haley, no need to be camera shy", Dan grinned, putting his arm around the two. "Let's say we smile for this one. I'm feeling the cover of People magazine, what do you say?"

The couple balked and Haley cringed as a particularly bold photographer was just inches away from her.

"Please don't get so close to me", she pleaded, drawing Lillian in close to her.

"Haley, turn this way!" another directed.

"Don't take pictures of my daughter."

"Easy, fellas", Dan interjected. "You're upsetting Grandpa's little princess. She just woke up from a nap. Why don't you take five and we continue this in a bit?"

They reluctantly went away for the time being to adjust their camera equipment.

"Dan, what the hell is going on?" Deb demanded, after watching the confrontation from afar.

"If it isn't the birthday girl? You're just in time, Grandma."

"Dad!"

"No need to thank me, Nathan", he waved his hand.

"Thank you? You've got some nerve! What the hell are you trying to pull here?"

"Besides saving your ass? Look, boy, you are this close to possibly resurrecting what is left of your pathetic career. So far you're more famous for showing up to games drink, mowing over bikers in your SUV, and frolicking with strippers. How about a little damage control? It's a nice family celebration and an excellent chance for the public to see you sober, cleaned up and enjoying time with your daughter."

"Dad…

"Relax. I've got all this under control. Yeah, it might seem a little shaky with that whole Megan thing but out of sight, out of mind, right? And according to some very important industry PR people, a poll on E! shows that 81 percent of the public thinks you and Ms. James here, make a great couple. Apparently there is something oddly appealing and enduring about two star crossed lovers reuniting and making a baby while being trapped during the tsunami. Interesting."

"Daniel Paul Scott", Deb shook her head. "Why am I not surprised? Of all the sneaky tricks to pull…"

"Deb, what are you talking about? This is beautiful! We're all family."

"I don't believe this", Haley shook her head. "So this is why you invited me? Dammitt! I should have known better! Shame on me, huh? Actually, shame on all of us who dared to think that you had turned over a new leaf and you were being sincere for once. But of course you had an ulterior motive and of course one you stand to benefit from."

"It's a family thing", he shrugged.

"Family? You have some nerve to speak of family! Humiliating your wife? Subjecting your granddaughter to these blood sucking, tabloid selling vultures I try to protect her from?"

"Lower your voice and put a smile on that pretty face, huh?"

"No, Dad", Nathan shook his head. "This is wrong! Dead wrong and you know it. It's just another example of your lies and manipulation. I don't want any part of it anymore. Come on, Haley. Let's get out of here."

"There you go, the crown prince of ungrateful. I'm doing this for you, Nathan."

"No, man. You're doing it for yourself."

"What's going on?" Lucas asked as he made his way to the center of everyone.

"Once again, I put myself on the line to bail out your brother here and as always, he chooses to be stubborn and unreasonable", Dan folded his arms.

"I'm being unreasonable, Dad? Please! I can't believe you said that with a straight face…but then again, I can. After all, it's you we're talking about here."

"Guys…"

"Enough!" Deb yelled. "Everybody just stop. Dan…have mercy on your twisted soul. This takes the cake. You've hurt your children enough. Are you trying to get an early start with your grandchild as well?"

"Deb…"

"No. Nathan and Haley, take the baby and get out of here before it gets any worse."

"Mom, I'm sorry about your birthday…"

"Don't be", she sighed, cutting her eyes at Dan. "It's okay. Besides, it wouldn't be the first one your father has ruined."

Nathan nodded and guided Haley and Lillian back into the house, Lucas close on their heels. Dan sighed and straightened his tie before glaring at his wife.

"Nice work, Deb. Now what? I promised these people pictures. What am I going to do with all these damned photographers?"

She shrugged as she rolled her eyes and walked away.

"I don't know, dear. I'm sure you'll figure something out. Considering they are the scum of the earth, you should be in pretty good and comfortable company."

Gathering his composure, Dan quickly paid off the camera hounds and retreated into the house where Nathan and Haley were preparing to leave.

"They're gone", he informed Haley.

"Yeah? Well, so are we."

Dan rolled his eyes.

"Haley, it's okay…"

"Okay? No, it's not okay. It's anything but okay and the saddest part is that you actually believe it's okay. Sorry to disappoint you but there is nothing remotely 'okay' about what you just did."

Dan gently touched her arm.

"I'm sorry that you're upset. Maybe I was wrong to ambush you like that. Please stay. Please enjoy the rest of the party."

"I'm not falling for that one. You aren't sorry. You know exactly what you did. I don't want any part of it and I don't want my daughter to have any part of it."

"You, you, you. It's always about you. It always has been, huh, Ms. James?" Dan took a sip of liquor.

"No", Haley shook her head. "That's where you're wrong again. It stopped being about me a long time ago. I'm not afraid of you. You can't hurt me anymore and I don't even care if you keep trying. But I won't let you hurt Lillian. And I won't let you use her either."

"I love Lillian", he said matter of factly.

"Well, you've got a sick way of showing it", Nathan said from the doorway. "Come on, Hales. We're out of here."

"Where are you going?" Dan asked.

"Far away from you."

Dan finally sighed and nodded.

"If you must", he swallowed. "At least let me say good bye to the child."

He walked over to the bed where Haley had placed little Lillian in her carrier. The little girl was wide awake, small hand tugging at her bootie as she eyed her grandfather through one blue window like her father, and one brown, like her mother.

Dan leaned in carefully and slowly, smiling widely as he tenderly caressed the smooth skin of his granddaughter's face. Lillian began to coo, smile and gurgle. Dan just stood there, not saying a word but he didn't have to. It was almost like he could telepathically connect with the baby.

"You be a good little girl and I'll see you again real soon", he whispered. "Grandpa loves you, Lilli."

He stood and backed away, Lillian's little eyes craning to see every glimpse until finally he had disappeared from sight. Haley shuddered, desperately trying to rub away the goose pimples that had spread across her flesh.

"You okay?" Nathan asked.

Haley nodded.

"Can we…let's just get out of here."

"Luke is getting us a car in the back. We'll go back to the beach house. It should be safe there."

"Thanks", she sighed. "God, I can't believe him!"

"Me too", Nathan muttered. "I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay. I mean, it's not your fault. It's not like you knew he had this all planned out."

"Yeah but I should have known something was up. This isn't the way I wanted to do it, Haley. I mean, our private life should be our private life but somehow when we became famous, it's like we were forced to give that up. I know eventually I'll have to step up and tell the world that Lillian is mine. I'm fine with that. She's my daughter and I'm not ashamed but I wanted to do it the right way and at the right time."

"I know", she said softly. "I wish our every move didn't have to be shared with the whole world but unfortunately that's our life right now. It's this unwritten rule that we owe the public. I don't know. We've both made our share of mistakes. I can stand up and face mine. I can pay the price. I know you can too, Nathan and you will. I just don't want our daughter to have to. Lillian didn't ask for any of this. It isn't fair."

They heard the unmistakable sound of two quick horn beeps and they knew Lucas was waiting outside to whisk them away in an unmarked car.

"You ready to get out of here?"

"More than you know", she answered.

Nathan took a deep breath and bit his lip.

"You go on ahead. Let Lucas take you guys back to the beach house."

"What about you, Nathan?"

He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'll be by later. I promise. But for now, maybe I should hang around here. I want to make sure Mom is okay and I want to make sure the stalkarazzi is gone and Dad doesn't have any more tricks up his sleeve."

"Okay", she finally sighed. "Um, I guess we'll see you back at the house."

"You'll be okay?"

She managed a smile.

"We'll be fine."

He helped her load the belongings into the vehicle and after giving his brother instructions to make sure everything was secure at the beach house, he waved when they pulled off. He watched the car disappear out of sight before turning back to the party that was carrying on a few feet behind him. It was time to head back. It was time to jump from the frying pan back into the fire.

Haley was right. They had made a lot of mistakes. Unfortunately the past would always be there as a haunting reminder to any hint of a possible future. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fair. But as hard as it was, the one person who stood to suffer the most was the one person they couldn't let get hurt. So Nathan would be the sacrificial lamb. He would surrender himself and put whatever piece of himself he had to on the line to protect Lillian…and to protect Haley.


	180. Behind The Madness

Dan wandered throughout the large, lonely house. He made his way into the kitchen where his wife was standing over the oven. She had changed from her party gear into work out clothes that sometimes served as pajamas. The make up had been scrubbed from her youthful looking face and short blonde hair was pulled up in a Pebbles style ponytail on top of her head.

From a few feet away, Dan just watched her. He said no words. They had long ago surpassed that point. After being married over 24 years they could enjoy those moments when no words needed to be spoken.

"What do you want, Dan?" she sighed, not bothering to turn around.

He smiled cockily.

"And did you know it was me, my dear?"

"I must have sensed the evil", she rolled her eyes.

He smiled as he approached her slowly. She was boiling water and reached up into the cupboard for the syrup. Dan made a face.

"What's all this?" he asked, inquiring about what she was making.

Deb didn't miss a bit.

"I'm boiling water to throw on you."

She added some syrup.

"And what's the syrup for?" he asked, with a rather hard edge to his voice.

"Oh, that's so it sticks to you", she answered quite directly.

His smug half of a smile disappeared. Being married to Deb for all those years, he had come face to face on several occasions with her more erratic side. He didn't know if she was serious and wasn't too keen on finding out firsthand.

"I love you, too", he muttered sarcastically.

Deb turned around to face him, face reddened, eyes filling with tears.

"You know, I wish you would have died on that floor at the beach house when you had your heart attack. I mean that. We all would be a lot better off."

The emotion along with the malice in her voice was more than clear. He opened his mouth to meet her remark with some sarcastic comment but at the last moment, decided against it. Instead, he just nodded and walked slowly out of the kitchen. On the way out he made a pit stop at the mini bar. He poured a nice shot of his favorite Scotch, stirring the mixture all over the melting ice cubes in his glass.

He went to the study that served as his office and opened the large bay window. The air conditioner was on to offer comfort in the steamy, balmy, humid Carolina nights but the elder Scott was craving a fresh breeze. He stared up at the dark sky that was freckled with stars.

"Hey", came a soft voice from the doorway.

Dad didn't move.

"If you've come to admonish me for my behavior earlier, then save it", he simply said.

Lucas smiled in spite of himself as he entered the dark room.

"Now why would I do that, Dad?" he asked.

"I don't know…why would you?"

Lucas shrugged.

"I don't have to. You know what you did was wrong…there's no question there. The question is, why did you do it?"

"For the same reason I've made most of the decisions in my life. To help my son."

"You really think having the paparazzi ambush Nathan and Haley with their baby would make things better? Especially when they haven't publicly confirmed everything about Jamarah?"

Dan sighed and took another sip.

"He's a good kid, your brother. A little rough around the edges and stubborn as hell but still a good kid."

"Yeah, he is."

"I love him. I love you, too, Luke. I only want what's best for both of you and I'm willing to do anything to make sure you have the best."

"Maybe so but did it ever cross your mind that you could be helpful by…oh, I don't know…not helping out so much?"

Dan smiled.

"Talk to me when you become a father."

"You're a father just wanting to protect his kids."

"That's right."

"Well, so is Nathan. He just wants to look out for his daughter."

"You know, son, I do love Lillian."

"I'm sure you do…"

"No. Don't patronize me, Lucas. I'm being sincere here. She is my granddaughter, Nathan's daughter. She's my flesh and blood. She is the future of our family and when I hold her, I feel this connection. I can't explain it with words but I have never ever felt that connected to another human being before."

"Dad…"

"I'd like to think I am a pretty successful man. I have built a million dollar fortune. I am respected by many. I have a solid reputation. I always craved money, success and power and I got it. I have accomplished many things but do you know what the four most defining moments in my life are?"

Lucas shook his head.

"No."

"The first was when Nathan was born. I held my son in my arms when he was just minutes old and I had never experienced that kind of love in my life. I didn't even know it existed. The second moment was at the field down the street. You were 12 years old, the starting quarterback for your league. That year you rushed more yards and scored more touchdowns than anyone. I was so proud."

"You were there?" Lucas questioned.

"Every game", he said proudly. "No one ever knew. Not Deb or Nathan, not your mother. It wasn't meant to be known. It was our time together, even if you didn't know I was there. I was a coward. I was wrong back then and I have apologized to both you and Karen and over the years I hope I made that up to you, son."

Lucas swallowed hard.

"What were the third and fourth?"

"My little granddaughters", he replied with a heavy heart. "Yoanna being born and then dying…it was triumph and tragedy all in a few short hours. My heart was broken. You might not see it that way but it was. Yes, I've had my differences with Haley over the years but like it or not, she is Lillian's mother. And with that she gave us all a gift…a second chance of sorts, if you will. And when we almost lost Lillian and I saved her…it was like being reborn. I gave her new life, Lucas and in turn, she gave me new life as well. And for that, we will always be bonded. We'll always be connected. You might not trust me or my motives and you might not understand everything. I am a complicated man but I'm not evil. I'm just me, son. I'm misunderstood. All I know how to do is be me. I have made mistakes and I'll probably make a whole lot more in my lifetime. Maybe I come off as brash or ruthless or insincere at times. Maybe I lie, cheat, steal and manipulate situations to work the way I see fit. But there is a method to the madness, so to speak. Everything I do now, everything I've ever done, everything I will do…it's all for you and Nathan and now Lillian."

Lucas didn't know quite what to say. It was a rare insight inside a dark but brilliant and complex mind. Lucas had seen a side of their father he never had before, a side he was sure not too many people had.

"Dad, I…"

"Don't know what to say? You're shocked?"

"Yes and yes. It's just that…I've never heard you like this."

"Not too many people have."

"It's a shame", Lucas responded quietly. "I like you when you're like this. You're real. You should let others see this side of you."

"That would be showcasing my vulnerability and to that would be a sign of weakness."

"Not to me. And not to those who love you, man."

Dan chuckled.

"Like Deb?"

"Yeah. Like Deb. She does love you, only God knows why. And Nathan. And me and Grandpa and Grandma and Jamarah…and even Uncle Keith."

"Now we're stretching it, don't you think? I am Keith's least favorite person."

It was Lucas' turn to laugh out loud as he stroked his chin.

"Let's decipher that for a moment. Okay…you treat him like garbage, you humiliate with your teasing every chance you get, you stole his dream of running a dealership and you tried to pay his wife off so she would leave him and break his heart."

Dan grinned.

"Some of my greatest work…"

"Dad!"

"Just kidding…sort of."

"I know you love Keith. You just have to show it more. You have to stop hurting him. Man, you don't have to be that guy anymore."

"What can I say? Your uncle is an easy mark. But like I said, there is a method to the madness."

"Okay. Then why did you open a dealership in the first place when you knew it was Keith's original idea?"

"Because I could. Because I had Deb's money. And because…"

"Because what?"

Dan sighed heavily.

"Because I was angry that he was taking care of you and Karen when it should have been me."

Lucas shook his head.

"You're not an all bad guy but no one is ever going to know that if you don't change. You can't keep hurting people. Dan Scott's way isn't the law of the land, I hate to break it to you, dude. You just have to take a big step back. I know you love Nathan but he will be okay. Let him live his life. And if you love Jamarah, part of that is accepting Haley. That means no more schemes or plots or any of that nonsense. It has to stop."

"I know", he said. "I've messed up, Lucas. I know that. But sometimes it's hard to keep from repeating your mistakes…even when you're ready for a change. Make sense?"

Lucas looked away. He thought about Brooke and the disaster he was slowly making of their own lives.

"More than you know", he breathed. "You're aren't the only screw up around."

"Trouble with Brooke?"

"Nothing you can help with."

"I guess it'd be foolish to accept advice on matters of the heart from me but may I suggest one thing?"

"What's that?"

"If you love her, don't lose her."

"What does that mean?"

"You tell me, son. It might require a lot of soul searching from you but whatever it takes, look deep within yourself. Troubleshoot the problem. See where you stand and where things are going wrong. Look beneath the surface. Read between the lines. But do whatever you have to do to make it right because trust me, you don't want to wake up one day with a cold bed and even colder heart."

Lucas was flabbergasted. It was like his father saw right through to what was going on with him. How did he know? And was his advice in reference to what had happened between he and Karen oh so long ago?

"Dad…"

"It's getting late, son."

Lucas nodded.

"You're right. I…I guess I should be heading back to the beach house."

"Kiss Lillian good night for me, will you?"

"Okay", he said. "Um, I guess I'll be going…"

"I'll be seeing you, Luke."

Lucas turned to leave but stopped short at the exit.

"Dad?"

"Yes son?"

Lucas took a deep breath.

"All that stuff you just said…what we talked about…it was true…wasn't it? I mean, you weren't bullshitting me? You weren't just trying to twist things around so I'd take your side against Nathan and Haley?"

"Who would do something like that?"

"A seasoned liar. A master manipulator. Someone who so wants things to go his warped way that he will imply whatever means no matter what it takes or who or what stands in his way."

"That's quite an observation."

"So is it true or what?"

Dan smiled as he looked at his son and took another sip. He turned his back and began absently staring out the window again.

"I guess you'll never know, son", he said quietly. "Some things we just weren't meant to know."


	181. Nothing Ever Changes

Nathan stretched and yawned. The bright sun peered through the curtains and blinds, shining right in his eyes. He wiped the remnants of sleep away and crawled out of bed. He made his way downstairs of the too quiet beach house. MTV hummed in the background and a surprising yet amusing sight at the kitchen made him take notice and chuckle. There was Brooke holding his daughter both content as they watched a special on J. Lo's latest fashion line.

"What's all this?" he smiled.

Brooke didn't even bother looking up.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite On Hiatus Superstar. Grilled bagel?" she offered.

"No thanks. Where's Haley?"

"Out. She felt like getting some air so I told her to go hang out on the beach and I'd take care of little Tutor Tot here."

"Haley let you watch her? Alone?"

"Yes, alone! What do you think I'm going to do, eat her? I am a responsible adult!"

"If you say so", he teased.

"Okay, it took a lot of convincing and begging on my part and there's probably 50 or so Nanny Spy cams around here but whatever. She needed a break and I'm bored."

"Where's Lucas?"

"At Jake and Peyton's. He'll be back soon."

"Don't sound so excited about it", he mumbled. "Everything okay with you two?"

Brooke sighed.

"We're fine."

"You sure?"

She nodded with a smile.

"I'm sure."

"Good", he said as he headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Just out, I guess. I'll see what Hales is up to."

Brooke smiled knowingly.

"Okay Romeo and Juliet…"

"Brooke, we're just friends."

"For now", she winked. "Oh and don't be too long. I just fed Jamarah and her parents need to be on total alert in case of an emergency poop."

Nathan laughed.

"Brooke, it's just baby poop. It won't kill you. The wipes are in the bag."

Brooke cringed and made a horrified face as a laughing Nathan made his way outside. He walked a little ways down the shoreline and that's when he saw her. He couldn't help but grin. She was wearing one of those sundresses again with no make up and her hair was blowing in the morning breeze. Like a little kid, she laughed, frolicked and played in the ocean, soaking up the sun and giggling loudly and freely as the crashing waves landed against her bare legs.

He watched her for what seemed like forever. Time stood still. It was just them and nature. For a brief moment his mind would alter back to the high school days. He would see the two of them playing in the sea's shallow end, just a couple of teenagers in love. Then his mind would reel back to the present. He'd stare at her, his senses drawing a fine line between what was real and what wasn't.

"Nathan!" Haley laughed, putting a hand up to block the sun out of her eyes. "Oh my God! What are you doing? How long have you been standing there?"

He shrugged and smiled.

"I don't know. Brooke told me you were out here."

"How's Lillian?"

"Watching J. Lo, actually."

Haley playfully rolled her eyes.

"God help us all."

"I just wanted some air and…"

"Well, come on out", she invited him. "Water's warm."

Nathan smiled.

"What?"

"You heard me! Get in!"

"Hales…"

"What are you, a chicken shit?"

"Haley!"

"I dare you!"

"You dare me?"

"I double dog dare you!"

That's all it too as he took off on a dead sprint towards her. He dove in under the water surfacing a few seconds later, soaking wet and shivering.

"I thought you said it was warm", he pouted.

"You're gonna complain about a little cold water?" she teased as she splashed him some more.

"Hey!" he yelled, splashing her back.

Their playful water fight continued on the confines of Wrightsville Beach. It was a good time filled with laughter as they wrestled like little kids. It was only when he realized the strap of her dress was riding dangerously low on her arm, that he pulled away.

"What…oh", she blushed, self conscious, as she returned it to its original place.

"I won", he grinned.

"You did not."

"Did too."

"Yeah? Well, you cheated then."

They both laughed as they walked on the sand, letting the sun dry them off naturally.

"This is nice", he finally said.

"Yeah", she agreed. "I didn't know how I felt about getting in the water at first. You know…"

Yes, he knew.

"…That."

"Do you ever get that way?" she asked. "Or am I just being stupid?"

"It's not stupid at all", he said. "I get squeamish sometimes, too. Like right after we came back, I used to get freaked out every now and then in the shower. I mean, I still think about it. Look what we went through and what we saw."

Haley trembled at the memories of being in the tsunami.

"I still think about it. I think about it all the time. I think about it every time I look at Lillian."

"We were the lucky ones. Some others weren't so lucky."

"I know. Part of me tries to forget but it's impossible. I go on the Web and I've donated I don't know how much to all the disaster relief funds but it's like it's never really enough. You can only help so much and even then, you can't escape the memories. They're always there, always in your head. Hell, if I even smell anything related to a coconut, I want to throw up."

"It shouldn't have happened…"

"I know."

"No. All of it. We shouldn't have been there in the first place."

"It was my bright idea."

"No. I mean we shouldn't have gotten the divorce."

"Nathan…"

"I fucked up, Haley. I did. The biggest mistake I ever made was the night I told you it was over if you got on the bus. I was mad and hurt and disappointed but it wasn't over. I never stopped loving you. I was just too proud and too much of an idiot to tell you that."

Haley's mouth hung open. That was the last thing she expected to hear from him.

"Nathan, don't…"

"Don't what?"

"Please…"

"Don't tell you how I feel?"

"Listen, I respect how you feel and I respect you for trying to tell me but what good does it do now? We've been down this road before. We've tried to get it all back but it never works for us. Not anymore."

"Haley…"

"What if that part of us is over?"

"What if it isn't?"

It took a while for her to answer.

"I don't know if I'm willing to risk finding that out."

"Hales, listen to me…"

"No. You listen to me. What makes it different this time? We made mistakes then and we're making mistakes now. There were obstacles in our way then and guess what? They are still there, Nathan. We have a past that won't let us escape. And we have our own separate pain."

"I love you."

There it was. He'd said it. He'd just blurted it out.

Haley closed her eyes.

"I love you, too, Nathan but love isn't enough."

"Haley…"

"You honestly think we can try again?"

"I don't know."

"What about Lillian?"

Nathan looked her in the eye.

"That's a damn good reason as to why maybe we should talk about how we feel. Our daughter is as good a reason as any to try this thing again."

"Lillian is precisely the reason why we shouldn't. We can't get back together just for her sake, Nathan. And what if it doesn't work out again? Huh? Or worse, what if things get really sour and we start hating each other? I don't want her in the middle of that."

"Neither do I, Haley. I'm not trying to get you back to have it all fuck up again. I do love you and I love, Lil. I'm serious about this."

Haley fought back tears.

"What about Megan?"

"Haley…"

"She's still your legal wife, Nathan. That has to mean something to you. She has to mean something. I know you loved her. You guys went through a lot. You put each other through a lot. I know you're dealing with it but until you heal completely and come to terms with everything, how can you even think about jumping back in a relationship with me?"

Nathan sighed.

"I've changed. I've made a lot of mistakes that I'm still trying to right. It's one day at a time for me, Haley. I've had to grow up in a hurry. I have to do right by Meg because I caused her a lot of pain. I shouldn't have married her but I made that choice. I did. I can't keep going back and second guessing everything and Monday morning quarterbacking. I'll go crazy if I do that. All I can do is live in the now and hope that the future is going to be okay. I want Lil in that future…and you, too."

Haley wiped a stray tear.

"I want that too. I want it so bad but it can't happen now. We can't have that. It's not right Nathan and you know it."

"Hales…"

"All I can do now is focus all my energy into raising my daughter. You're not the only one who made mistakes and I can't afford to make another one…not with this. You can screw up a lot of things in life but not raising your kid. She's my number one priority always. And my number two is me. That might sound selfish but it has to be. Because I can't be there for her or you or anyone until I get myself together. I have to mend Haley first."

She gave way to tears and he hugged her. Haley resisted at first but soon relaxed as she realized she was in the one place she had always felt the safest. Nathan wanted to cry too. It hadn't ended up the way either of them had wanted it to but it still felt good to put everything on the table. After all the years and heartache, there was still a tremendous amount of love left. It was a moment they had waited for. It was their moment.

"I love you, Hales", he whispered.

"I love you, too."

She buried her face in his smooth, bare chest but looked up as she heard the camera click. They had been found. Their sacred moment ruined.

"Goddammitt", Nathan muttered.

"No! No, no, no, no, no, no!" Haley cried. "Not now! Damn them! Why are they still here?"

It was too much for Nathan. How dare they? They could take a lot of things from him but not this. He would be damned. Anything but this. Fists pumped, he charged up the beach to where the photographer was snapping shots.

"Hey buddy, slow your roll. I'm just doing my job."

"Trespassing on private property? Invading people's privacy? What the hell?"

"Sorry, dude", he took another.

Nathan was incensed.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Hey, a few shots of you and the chick will pay my rent for six months. It's nothing personal, right?"

Nathan stared him down.

"Oh it's damn pure personal."

Nathan drew back his fist.

"Hit me and I'll sue!"

He held back for a while. Then he grabbed the camera and tried to pull out the film.

"That's private property, Scott!"

"And you're on private property! Fuck you, dude!"

The guy took a swing and missed. Nathan, in a fury, returned the jab landing hard against the man's cheek. He hit again. Again and again. Hard. It felt good and he couldn't stop.

"Nathan!" Haley yelled. "Nathan, stop! Get away from him! Oh God, you're killing him!"

But he couldn't stop. Haley in a state of desperation grabbed his wildly swinging arms but instead caught an elbow to the chest, sending her to the ground. She cried out and only then had he realized what he had done. The damaged camera, the bleeding photographer and Haley sobbing on the sand.

"Hales", he panted.

She shook her head and scrambled to her feet.

"No."

"Haley, I'm sorry…"

A tear ran down her face.

"You're always sorry. Nothing's changed."


	182. Here I Come To Save The Day

Lucas sighed as he watched Jake go for the layup. The sweat dampened his handsome, worried face as the ball was thrown back to him.

"So that's the story, huh?"

"Pretty much", Lucas sighed. "In a nutshell, Brooke is mad at me. But she won't come right out and say she's mad at me."

"Women", Jake shook his head. "That's how they are. Trust me…I live with two of them."

"What am I gonna do, man?"

"Fix it."

Lucas rolled his eyes. Easier said than done.

"I already tried that. Brooke wanted a proposal so I proposed but she said no anyway. Now she's pissed only she's trying to pretend that she's not pissed off."

Jake chuckled.

"Are you serious, Luke?"

"What?"

"I mean, you didn't honestly think that would work, did you?"

Lucas made a face.

"I don't understand."

"Man, you have a lot to learn."

"Jake…"

"Brooke loves you. She wants to be your wife. Probably not tomorrow but someday down the road, I'm sure she'd like to think that you guys are headed to the altar."

"Then why did she turn me down?"

"Because you did it the wrong way and in her eyes, for the wrong reason", Jake replied as he sank yet another basket.

"I did it because I love her and because I want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"But it seemed like you did it to pacify her because she asked."

Lucas had never thought of it that way.

"But…"

"Think about it, man. No romance, no spontaneity, not even a ring. You know how girls are, especially Brooke. She's the girliest of them all. Did you see that sappy look in her eye when Mouth was talking about how he was planning to propose to Erica at sunset on the beach with lots of rose petals after a romantic picnic."

Lucas bounced the ball.

"Oh man. Dude, I'm an idiot, huh?"

Jake smiled.

"Yeah. A nice idiot. But an idiot nonetheless."

"I have to do it again. I have to do it right."

"Maybe so but just think about it. This is a huge decision. Don't go rushing everything. And it's not just about what Brooke wants but it should be about what you want to."

"How so?"

"Marriage is a big deal. Make sure this is what you both want and that you're ready and the time is right. Don't let anything else influence or pressure you. If you're in love with Brooke, which I know you are, just be sure that you marry her because that's what is in your heart."

Lucas nodded. Jake was right.

"Damn, man? You been watching Dr. Phil or something? When did you get so smart about stuff like this?"

"It's called living with Peyton and uh…who the hell watches Dr. Phil, man?" he joked. "Personally, I'm an Oprah man myself."

Lucas returned his smile.

"What about you? When are you gonna follow your own advice?"

"Marrying Peyton?"

"Yeah."

Jake shrugged.

"Remember what I said about the time being right? I don't know if it will ever be right with us. I love Peyton. I want to be with her forever. Hell, it already feels like we've been together forever and with her, forever isn't even long enough for me. We made a great life together and she's the greatest mom to Jenny. As a father I couldn't ask for more."

"So you don't want to marry her?"

"More than you know. But she doesn't want to marry me…or anyone for that matter. Her motto is 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'."

"Does that bother you?"

"For now? No. But it might cause more problems down the road. For instance we have talked about maybe in a few years having a child together."

"That's great, Jake."

"But I won't do it unless we're married. That's just how I feel. My situation with Nikki was different but I want to bring another kid into a loving, stable environment with two married parents. I won't budge on that and it doesn't look like Pey is willing to compromise on that either."

"So what's gonna happen?"

Jake shrugged.

"Who knows? I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

Lucas took a deep breath as it was his turn to shoot again. The back door swung open and out came Jenny with the cordless phone.

"Telephone!" she announced.

"Who is it, bug?" Jake asked, wiping his brow with the end of his shirt.

"It's Aunt Brooke for Uncle Lucas."

"Jen, tell her I'm not here", Lucas whispered to the child.

He had a lot of thoughts to process and he needed time before speaking to Brooke. For the moment he wanted to relax with his friend and just shoot hoops in the backyard.

"Aunt Brooke, Uncle Lucas said to tell you he's not here", she spoke matter of factly.

Jake and Lucas cringed.

"Jenny!" Jake fussed.

Jenny held the phone to her ear for a few seconds before covering up the receiver.

"Uncle Lucas, Aunt Brooke says she heard you and she says it's important and she's says it's rude of you and she wants to know why your cell phone is turned off and…what else, Aunt Brooke? Oh…okay…yeah, she says to get your skinny ass on the phone now."

"Jen! Watch your mouth", Jake corrected.

"What? She said it first, Dad."

Busted! Lucas sighed and mouthed a silent prayer before taking the phone.

"What's up, babe?"

"Getting a little kid to lie for you? Nice work, Broody. What's next?"

"Sorry. Look, don't be mad, okay? I swear it wasn't like that. I…"

"Whatever. I'll deal with you later. For now we have much bigger fish to fry."

"What happened?"

"Your brother is in jail."

"What? Nathan?"

"Dan Scott has other kids floating around Tree Hill? Yes, Lucas. Nathan."

"What happened?"

"I don't know the whole story. All I know is Jamarah and I were hanging out watching J. Lo on MTV and Haley goes out for a walk, then Nathan goes out for a walk and they're gone forever and everything is hunky dory, hearts and flowers until one of your father's little picture happy friends happened to spot them on the beach."

"Oh no", Lucas sighed.

"Oh yes. Nathan flipped. I guess he tried to take the guy's camera and the guy put up a fight and Nathan hit him and kept hitting him and Haley freaked out and tried to stop him and she got hit in the process."

"Is Hales okay?"

"Shaken up and upset but physically she's alright. Anyway, the worm was beaten to a bloody pulp, which if you ask me, he got what he deserved. But he called the cops like a little bitch and apparently the Tree Hill P.D. isn't a big fan of taking the law into your own hands. So in a nutshell, Nathan is locked up, I didn't want to call Dan even though I'm sure he'll be able to smell the controversy, Haley is a nervous, pissed off mess and Jamarah just ate a Gerber bottle bull of strained sweet potatoes so you can imagine what that diaper is going to look like in a matter of minutes. Bottom line, as always, I am stuck in the middle of another wacky, drama filled episode of As The Scott Family turns and I don't know what to do. So Broody you might want to get your ass downtown before this place is swarming with press."

Lucas sighed as he hung up.

"You okay, man? You look pale. All I heard was Nathan and jail. That can't be good."

"It's not. But I have to go. I'll explain later."

They knocked fists as Lucas found car keys and headed to go save the day once more.


	183. One Day At A Time

**_Author's Note: Thanks for all the continued reviews. I'm still reading them and you guys are still cracking me up (Kumary) : ) Just wanted to say real quick to my fellow OTH Senior Citizens (Jess, Cathy, Lindsay and Beth), I love you guys! And to Bluster for a really sweet, amazing and in depth review that was so enjoyable to read and made me feel good..._**

**_The next chapter will immediately follow this one. The site was down earlier, hence the double post._**

Nathan sighed as he sat on the concrete floor of the jail cell. What a way to end the morning! Never in his wildest dreams had he envisioned that he would be spending his day behind bars. It had started with a glorious few hours with Haley on the beach. Then they'd had the anticipated but slightly dreaded "talk". He had blurted out his feelings, the true feelings he had been harboring since forever. He was still in love with her…he had never stopped. Granted the ending wasn't one he was necessarily hoping for but at least he had been honest about it all. And at least he'd had the privilege of holding her in his arms. It had been a special and private moment up until the trespassing, greedy son of a bitch had the nerve to take their picture.

Nathan didn't give a damn that the man was just trying to do his job. He didn't see it that way. All he saw was a crude invasion of privacy, a blatant act of disrespect that would whore his most intimate minutes to the world. As far as he was concerned, the bastard had gotten what he deserved.

"Cigarette?"

Nathan looked up. A towering man with massive tattoo covered muscles was hovering over him, offering a tattered pack of smokes.

"No thanks, dude."

Great! Now he was being approached by some steroid pumping wise guy who was probably named Bubba. Nathan took a deep breath. He wanted out. He could certainly afford to post his own bail, what was the hold up?

"Scott", the guard approached almost by magical cue.

"Yeah?"

He opened the bars.

"Bail has been posted. You're free to go for now."

Nathan didn't have to be told twice but his curiosity was getting the best of him. He hadn't even had time to give them his financial information for release. That meant someone would have had to post his bail. Who could it be? Haley? Brooke? God, he hoped it wasn't Dan.

Nathan was led from the cell and was relieved to see Lucas standing in front of him. As always, it was the big brother who had come to his rescue.

"Nice of you to show up", he quipped. "I was almost beginning to feel right at home. They put me in the same cell you and I got thrown into that night of Felix's party. Go figure."

Lucas shook his head.

"This is no time for jokes or taking a trip down memory lane."

"I know. Don't lecture me."

"Maybe I should. Nate, what the hell were you thinking?"

"You don't know what it's like, man. Every damned time I step outside, I have some asshole with a lens chasing me down. It's annoying, it's frustrating and it pisses me off."

"That's part of being a celebrity. It's what we signed up for."

"No", Nathan adamantly shook his head. "It's not what I signed up for. Not at all. I just wanted to play ball, man. I go out there and do my job. I try to give the fans their money's worth. I sign sometimes 50 to 100 autographs a night. People come up to my dinner table in restaurants, interrupting me and begging me to take a photo with their kid or leave a message on their dad or son or brother's voice mail. I always oblige. I donate and volunteer for charities. I do more than my share but sometimes enough is enough."

"I feel you, man but what about that guy's rights?"

"What about my rights?" Nathan spat. "Look, thanks for getting me out. I'll pay you back but I don't need to hear shit from you right now. Whose side are you on anyway?"

"The side I'm always on…yours", Lucas answered quietly.

Nathan softened a bit.

"Sorry, bro. I didn't mean to go off on you like that. It's just that it has been a crazy day. And I'm still waiting to see whether or not this jerkoff is going to press charges."

"He won't."

"What?" Nathan asked.

"He's not going to press charges. I called your lawyer. Apparently the guy's camera was spared so he can still sell the pictures, which he is going to do of course. As far as the assault, he's willing to settle out of court for 100 grand."

"Are you fucking hosing me?"

"No and I think you should do it."

"Luke…"

"Morally and ethically he might be wrong. He did violate you but you can't beat up everybody that does you wrong, Nathan. Unfortunately there are more laws protecting him. You just have to suck it up, pay the piper and after this douche bag has his 15 minutes of fame whining on Inside Edition and A Current Affair, this thing will go away. No use in antagonizing a law suit."

Nathan sighed. Lucas was right. It killed him but his brother did have a point. Unfortunately, it was the way of the world…their world at least.

"So you handled this for me with my attorneys?"

"Yeah."

"And Dad wasn't involved?"

"No. I don't even think he knows about it or I'm sure he would have been here by now."

"Alright", Nathan nodded. "I guess I'll have to do what I have to do. Thanks."

"Man, I know they practically ask for it but you've got to exercise some sort of self control. Don't let them get the best of you. This idiot will probably make half a mil off not only the photos of you and Haley but also the ones when you were coming after him. People love that kind of stuff. You can't give them what you want."

"I know but…"

"But what?"

"You weren't there. Haley and I were talking, actually talking about the important stuff. I told her, Lucas. I told her how I felt. She said she loved me, too. It was our moment, man. I know that may sound corny but it was something between us. Something that should have happened eight years ago and I've been waiting on it ever since. He ruined it with his stupid camera. Maybe I did lose control but I don't regret it. I couldn't let him have that. Not that. You understand that?"

Of course Lucas could. After all, he had been there through all the years of questions, heartbreak and loneliness.

"I do understand, Nate. Believe it or not, I really do", Lucas patted him on the shoulder sympathetically. "Now let's get you out of here before the reporters close in. Jake and Peyton said you can stay with them."

"What about the beach house?"

Lucas looked away.

"Man, I…I don't think that's a good idea."

Nathan already knew what he was talking about.

"You mean Haley doesn't think it's a good idea?"

"She's upset, Nate."

Perfect! They had come so far and now one little incident had set months of progress way behind.

"Could you just talk to her for me?"

"I will when she calms down. I promise."

"Just let her know that I'm sorry. I'm not sorry for what I did to that fool but I'm sorry for her getting hit and I'm sorry she's upset and had to see and go through all that. I was just trying to protect her."

Lucas looked his brother in the eye.

"Yeah, man. I know you were. Listen, why don't you go to Jake and Peyton's and clean up? I'll see what's going on back at the beach house. I'll try to hook up with you later."

"That's cool but this whole thing was a bad idea. Big surprise, huh? Another disastrous visit to Tree Hill", he rolled his eyes.

"Well, at least you tried, Nate. At least you tried."

"Yeah. A lot of good that did", he rolled his eyes. "Look, I think I'm just gonna call my mom and see if I can hang out with her without Dad. I feel bad coming down for her birthday and all this drama happened. So I'll spend some time with her and I think I should probably head back to New York."

"Then what?"

Nathan shrugged.

"I don't know, Luke. Honestly, I don't know. I guess I'll have to wait it out and see what happens with everything…Haley, my career…"

"It will all work out, little brother."

Nathan nodded and sighed heavily, running his hand through his dark hair.

"I hope so."

"It will. You just have to keep the faith. One day at a time, man. One day at a time."

Nathan climbed into the car with his brother, staring out the window as the city jail and other familiar sights of Tree Hill passed them by.

"Yeah", he repeated softly. "One day at a time."


	184. Powerful Insight

The sun set over the beach casting a beautiful orange and pink glow on the sky. Haley, wrapped in a thin blanket, admired it as she sipped from a glass of homemade lemonade. An ocean breeze blew through her long, curly locks as she adjusted in her seat.

"Beautiful night, huh?"

"Magical", she answered.

Lucas smiled.

"Are you being sarcastic or serious?"

"Serious", Haley replied. "You don't see too many sunsets and sunrises like this in the city. Sometimes I forget how much I miss it or how beautiful it actually is."

He nodded. She was right.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?" he tried again. "I mean, after this morning…"

"I don't want to talk about this morning, Lucas."

"Hales…"

"Can we just drop it? Please."

"If that's what you really want, then fine but I know how much all this has affected you. And I'm not just talking about today. You know I'm here for you, Haley."

"I know that", she sighed, trying not to cry. "I know. You're here for me and for everybody. I appreciate that. Thanks, Buddy."

"You're welcome."

"So", she breathed. "How…how is Nathan? Where is he?"

"Laying low. He's with Jake and Peyton and Jenny now."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah. I bailed him out. Unfortunately that prick is still gonna publish the photos and Nathan had to pay him off to avoid a lawsuit."

"Nathan shouldn't have gone after him like that."

"You're right. He shouldn't have."

"Then why did he?"

"I think you already know the answer to that question."

Haley looked away.

"That's no excuse, Luke."

"I'm not trying to make excuses for him."

"Good. Because I deal with it everyday. You've had your fair share of it, too. Yes, it sucks and it's horrible and I feel like scratching those bastards eyes out but I don't. I can't. I don't have the right to and neither does Nathan."

"None of us have that right but try to see it from Nathan's point of view. He was just trying to protect you."

"Luke…"

"He's sorry, Haley. You have to believe that."

"I do but that's the problem. He's always sorry. Maybe he should think about his actions ahead of time so he won't have anything to be sorry for."

"Look, he didn't get into specifics but whatever you guys were talking about on the beach, well, it was pretty important to him."

"We were talking about us…and our love and getting back together", she blurted out.

"Wow", Lucas sucked in a breath. "So how do you feel about it?"

"How should I feel?" she shrugged. "It doesn't matter anyway. It could never be again."

"How do you know that?"

"I just know."

"Nathan loves you."

"And I love him."

"So?"

"Sometimes love isn't enough. You know that, Luke. We keep hurting each other. I don't want Lillian in the middle of that."

"Maybe that was apart of your past but does it have to be apart of your future? I get where you're coming from Haley but are you sure you aren't using the baby as an excuse to protect your own feelings?"

"I don't know. I don't know, okay? Gosh, Lucas, what do you want me to say? What does everyone want from me? You know things have always been complicated with Nathan and me. Look how we first got together. He was just using me to get under your skin."

"That was a long time ago and he changed. Nathan isn't that guy anymore."

"And I'm not that girl. I gave my heart to him once before."

"And he gave you his in return. He married you, didn't he?"

"Yes but…"

"And you guys were happy, right? He was a good husband."

"Yeah but he stopped believing in me. I couldn't handle that. Maybe we were too young and maybe I should have pursued my dreams before I got married but Nathan was so wonderfully supportive at first and the minute it didn't go down the way he wanted it, he gave me an ultimatum."

"He did and that was probably the wrong way to go about it but his heart was in the right place. He did out of love for you…and the fear of losing you."

A tear slid down her face.

"What am I supposed to do, Luke?" she cried.

"I can't tell you that, sweetie. Only you know that answer. It's in your heart."

"I'm so confused right now…and scared."

"Do you love him?"

"You know I do?"

"And you agree he's a good father?"

"The best."

"Can you imagine life without him? Can you envision what it would be like if he found someone else?"

"No", she responded meekly.

"And what about you, Hales? All those years alone. You had your freedom in New York to date and do whatever you wanted. How come you never did? Why wasn't there anyone special?"

"Because none of them were Nathan", she sighed. "My heart was with him, Lucas. Always."

"Then there's all the answers you need."

"I can't", she protested. "I can't do it again, Luke. I don't want to go through it. What happens if I decide to tour and record again? Chris is a huge part of my career. He's my friend and I can't just cut ties because of Nathan's unfounded jealousy and insecurity. And Nathan, as good a person as he is and tries to be, he still has a long way to go to get himself together. Lillian and I can't be with the ticking time bomb like I saw this morning. I won't deal with that."

"Then that's your decision, Haley. No one can fault you for that. But you have to be honest with him. And remember, once you've made your choice, that's it. This back and forth stuff can't go on. You don't get to have it both ways."

Haley shuddered as the moon began to replace the last remnants of daylight .

"I just want to be happy, Lucas. I just want all of us to be okay. That's the only thing I've ever wanted."

"Then you need to figure out what you're going to do. Then you need to do it. For eight years you guys have been in limbo. Don't keep prolonging the pain, Hales. And don't make your daughter suffer either. It's time for you to grow up. And I'm following my own advice. It's time for all of us to grow up. The moves me make today, every decision is going to affect the rest of our lives. It's always been this way. We all make mistakes but I'll tell you like I've told Nathan so many times before. It's not so much about what we regret…it's what we do to rectify it and make the future better."

"Lucas…"

"I know, I know. I'll shut up now with the 'big brother' lecture. Sorry to get all in your business."

"You're just looking out for the people you love the most."

"Always."

She smiled as he wrapped an arm around her and they watched the waves come and go together.

"I know", she sighed. "That's who you are, Lucas. That's what you do best. And that's why I love you. That's why you're my Buddy."


	185. Eventually They Come Back

Dan made his way downstairs to the coffee pot that was seemingly calling out his name. It was the last and usual pit stop before another profitable yet busy day in the office. It was early and he was surprised to find his wife sitting at the table, eating eggs she had scrambled.

"You're up early, my dear", he observed.

Deb just grunted an inaudible response.

"I see we're in a talkative mood", he joked, pouring coffee and bringing the steaming mug to his lips. "Karen have you scheduled for the early bird shift?"

"I'm not going to the café today."

He opened his mouth to make yet another sarcastic comment but his smirk quickly disappeared when he looked over in the corner and saw packed luggage and her purse.

"Going on a trip?" he prodded.

"No, Dan."

Finally he gave in.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from you", she never missed a beat.

He rolled his eyes.

"Leaving again, eh? We're still on this? The idle threats are getting pretty old, Deb."

She finally turned to face him.

"That was the problem before, Dan."

"What?"

"My threats…they were just threats and you're right, idle ones at that. But no more. I'm serious this time. I'm leaving you…for good."

"Why?" he took the bait.

"Because I've had enough."

Dan just nodded as he stared at what was left of the vibrant, beautiful blonde he had wed so many years ago. He had loved her. Not of course like he had loved Karen but in time his feelings grew. She was a pretty face with the proper social and economic background and more importantly, she was the mother of his son. For a while that had been good enough for him but in time it became more. She became more.

They'd shared many good times. She had been a more than enjoyable companion on business trips and family vacations. She was a good wife and a good mother…or at least she had tried to be. It must have been tough though at the time he hadn't given it much thought. He was too busy building for a successful future. Business was booming and through his ventures, he could provide the expensive clothes, fancy cars and mansion on the hill. He could give her the life she was accustomed to, the life they all deserved. Wasn't that important? Wasn't that enough?

For the first time as he sipped his gourmet brewed java, the notion passed through his mind that maybe it wasn't. It hadn't been enough. She had already strayed from their union twice…once with a handsome, business associate and later with his very own brother. And somehow over the years time had taken away that gorgeous smile, the one that lit up her whole face and made her eyes twinkle. And hadn't she blamed him when a brief addiction to prescription painkillers had nearly cost her everything?

Maybe it was his fault after all. Maybe he had spent the majority of their marriage chasing after the wrong things. The children had grown up and moved with sometimes tumultuous and dramatic lives of their own. Now older, wiser but still young and good looking enough to be in their prime, it should have been the time of their lives. They should have been whisking away to romantic cruises, tropical islands and European paradises. They should have been enjoying what was left of their youth after raising their son. But there was none of that. Deb had had enough. She was a woman fed up. Maybe it was too late after all.

"Deb…"

"No…don't try to talk me out of it."

He took a step back.

"Where will you go?" he finally asked.

"Away from you. The beach house is empty. The kids flew back to New York last night."

"You don't have to do this, you know", he said as he straightened his custom made jacket and tie.

It was the Royal Scott in him. It was the only way he could plead with her not to leave.

"I do have to do this, Dan. I should have done it a long time ago."

And with that she calmly stood and scraped the remnants of breakfast into the waste basket. He watched as she rinsed the dishes before methodically loading the dishwasher. When all was said and done, she brushed past him and picked up her things. It was really happening. She was really leaving.

"Deb…"

He smiled at her and it made her sick. It was his way of calling her bluff. She knew his game all too well. They had been playing it for a lot of years. Dan Scott was a master manipulator. There he was, all shaved and handsome, dressed for work, coffee in hand. His eyes danced, without speaking, telling her to put the bags away and stop being ridiculous. With open arms he approached for a hug and a kiss. Deb was repulsed. She put her hand up.

"Not this time. It doesn't work anymore, Dan."

He opened his mouth to speak but she was gone before the words came out. He watched from the bay window as her Lexus pulled out of its space and headed down the paved drive. He watched until she was out of sight and even then, long after the vehicle had disappeared, he stood there holding the now lukewarm cup of coffee. It was the sudden vibration of his cell phone that jarred him back to his present reality.

"Dan Scott", he muttered.

"Mr. Scott", said one of his personal secretaries.

"What is it Beth?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, sir but your 10:00 is here…Mr. Purkiss. Shall I have him wait?"

Dan breathed into the phone.

"Reschedule."

"Reschedule?" she asked, rather puzzled.

"Yes. I won't be in today."

He hung up immediately, he just as surprised that he had actually said it as Beth was to hear the words coming from him. Dan Scott wasn't the type to just take a day off work.

Putting the cup on the kitchen counter, he ventured to the living room his wife had put so much time, energy and love into decorating. Family photos adorned the entire area. As if seeing them for the first time, he studied each frame carefully. His parents wedding picture, almost 50 years old stared back at him. His father's handsome but unsmiling face. Then Dan's eyes moved to the one of he and Deb. Once again, no smile. And next to that was Nathan and Megan. Big surprise…no smile there either. Dan was beginning to notice a serious pattern. Then his eyes befell upon Keith and Jules. No smile. That made Dan grin. Of course Keith and Jules were happy now but it had been a long road. He had almost ruined their lives and any chance at happiness for a future. He was so close but last minute Lucas had stepped in and begged his father to leave it alone. Reluctantly, Dan had. He'd done it in order to keep the newly formed relationship with his eldest. Eventually, Keith and Jules came clean with each other and worked out their differences. In that wedding photo Keith wasn't smiling because he was scared. Vulnerable…fragile…hurt. Dan loved every minute of it. As far as he was concerned, Keith deserved whatever heartbreak he got. If Lucas hadn't stepped in, he was prepared to take him down all the way. But it hadn't gone down that way, still Dan took satisfaction in knowing that he could have sabotaged it all.

Touching the photographs, he sighed. His deep breaths seemed to echo. His fingertips brushed against the mount and a single picture that had been tucked away fell to the ground. He picked it up. It was the faded amateur wedding photo taken by Jim and Lydia James of Nathan and Haley at the beach. Dan just stared at it before placing it face down with the others. Hhhhmmmm, he thought to himself. Two real smiles. That was certainly a first in Scott wedding photographs.

Dan took a seat on the plush leather sofa staring out at nothing but emptiness. It seemed to envelope him as he quickly thought about all the things he'd loved and lost. Of course his mother would always be there for him, the sweet matriarch who loved and took care of everyone. And Royal…well, Royal was just Royal. Intimidating, brash, unemotional, no nonsense. He was who he was and a huge part of him lived on his younger son.

Then there were Dan's own boys. Lucas, all grown up, super successful, kind, responsible and level headed. He had done exactly what was expected of him. He had always seen the best in everyone and even in Dan's darkest days and most troublesome of deeds, it had been Luke who had remained by him…defending him, loving him, trying to understand and somehow make sense of his actions. And Nathan. The first golden boy, the prodigal son. One so blessed who had so much given to him at an early age. Nathan Scott, tormented, troubled, complex.

And Deb. She had been true to her word. She had walked out that door. Deborah Helen Lee Scott. College bride, devoted young mother, adulteress, saver of the world through her charity work, friend and confidante to Karen, café partner, pill popper, grandmother…there were so many different sides to her. Over the years they had come to see the many sides of each other. Now he had seen the final side. The one where she had turned her back and left him. She was gone and he was alone.

Dan stood and walked over to the mini bar, helping himself to a stiff, pre noon drink. He needed one. Hell, he was overdue. As he nursed it, he fought back tears, products of an overwhelming and new sense of loneliness and even fear. Quickly he swallowed and with the ingestion his smile reappeared. He was Dan Scott. And she would be back. Sooner or later, they all came back.


	186. Did You Hear What I Heard?

Nathan woke up and yawned, flopping back down on the bed. He'd had well over eight hours of what could be called a decent sleep. Of course he had tossed and turned but he had become accustomed to it. Restless nights seemed to follow all his debacles…losing Haley, going to college, Meg, the tsunami, divorcing Haley, marrying Meg, almost killing Michael Sanchez, getting kicked out of the NBA, losing Yoanna, gaining Lillian, and now his latest encounter with the paparazzi. He closed his eyes and groaned. Just when things were going so well. Losing his temper with one idiot had caused yet another dent to his reputation and an even bigger one to his bank account.

He sighed heavily. He wanted to go back to bed. He wanted to bury himself in the covers and avoid facing the harsh realities called his life. But that wasn't possible at all. It wasn't even possible for the moment considering the overwhelming urge he felt to go pee. Dragging out of the crumpled sheets, a naked Nathan opened his door and peered out. Silence. He had thought he'd heard Lucas and Brooke go out for breakfast earlier. Ever since the night of the barbecue, his older brother had been in Brooke's proverbial doghouse. Maybe a morning alone would do them some good, he thought as he tiptoed to the bathroom a few feet away.

He opened the door and went to flip open the toilet lid. He didn't notice the light was already on. He didn't notice Brooke wrapping a towel around her wet and equally nude fresh from the shower body. The two took one look at each other and screamed.

"Iiiieeewww, Boytoy!" she screamed.

"Iiiieeewww, back at you! God, I'm blind now!"

"Well quit looking!"

"I'm not", he covered his eyes.

"Get out!"

"You get out! Brooke, I have to pee!"

She rolled her eyes and bitched him out as she secured her towel and made it out the door. He relieved himself and sheepishly crept back into the bedroom for clothing. Minutes later a robe clad Brooke was already in the kitchen.

"You know, Superstar, they can't ever say that you and Broody aren't brothers."

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes as she spread Splenda on a grapefruit half.

"You know, the size of the package."

Nathan's face turned bright red but he couldn't help but smile at the oh so true compliment. He'd been praised plenty of time from the opposite sex about that particular part of his anatomy.

"You shouldn't have been looking."

"And you shouldn't be walking around naked."

"And you should have used the other bathroom that you and Luke have been using."

"Whatever. Your shower's bigger."

He smirked as he threw some cheese slices on a piece of toast.

"And seeing that my big brother didn't come out here and pummel me, I take it he isn't here."

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"He's out."

"Where?"

"Beats the hell out of me", he shrugged.

"I thought you two were going out for breakfast."

"So did I", she said sadly. "But hey. How did you know that?"

"Paper thin walls."

"You were listening, you little perv. God, how many other things have you heard?"

"Too many actually but you guys are just naturally loud. Now what's the deal with you and my brother?"

"I don't know."

"Brooke…"

"We're fine. Really."

"You don't sound fine."

"Well, we are. And on to more pressing issues, what's the deal with you and Tutor Star?"

Nathan smiled faintly.

"Nice way to dodge the real issue and turn it around on me."

"One of my many gifts", she smiled with a wink. "Now spill."

"What is there to say? Look, it's complicated. Brooke, I don't know if you know but…I, I still love Haley, okay? It's weird but we sort of have these feelings for each other."

"Well, duh", Brooke scoffed.

"What do you mean, 'duh'?"

"Exactly what I said. Look, Nate you know I love you to death but face it sometimes you're not the sharpest tool in…hell, wherever they keep tools…"

"The toolbox?" he teased.

"Yeah, toolbox…whatever. Anyway, you just announced that like it was breaking news. You love Haley. Haley loves you. Not exactly a newsflash. Stevie Wonder could see that you guys are still in love. Everyone sees it except you, two."

"We're that obvious, huh?" he chuckled.

"Painfully. Now what are you going to do about it? The games are getting kind of old."

"I told her how I feel. Brooke, I want to get back together."

"And?"

"She's scared."

Brooke sighed and dramatically threw her arms in the air.

"I give up! What's it going to take, another eight years for you two duds to realize you can't make it without each other?"

"I don't know. Even though I knew we weren't going to get back together like at that very moment, it's the first time I had real hope in a long time. Haley's right…she needs to get herself together and Lord knows I have to put all my ducks in a row. I was lost for a while but I've been working really hard to find my way back. I know I still have a long way to go but I love Haley and I want to be with her and Lillian."

"What else did she say?"

"She wants me to come to terms with everything that happened with Megan and Yoanna."

"That's smart. I mean, we all deal with things in our own way. Eventually you and Haley will find your way back to each other…right?"

"I thought so", he shrugged. "That is until that clown started taking our picture. Haley was so upset and I got so mad, Brooke. I just lost it. I wanted to tear his head off."

"Uh, you almost did. I was there."

"He deserved it."

"Yeah he did but you know you can't do things like that or be that way. Not if you want to be a good dad and not if you want Haley in you life."

"I know", he sighed. "I know, Brooke."

"You also know that you have to fix this, right?"

"How?" he mumbled. "The more I try to make right, the more I end up just making shit worse."

"You need to come clean. Wash your hands. Cleanse your soul. Rinse these problems right out of your hair."

"Are you trying to give me life advice or are you auditioning for an Irish Spring commercial?"

"I'm being serious. Listen, you've gone through a lot. It made things harder doing it in the public eye."

"I know", he rolled his eyes. "I feel like the whole damned world has gone through everything with me."

"Exactly."

"Brooke…"

"Then why not let them finish the journey with you? And do it on your terms. You don't need a script telling people what you think they want to hear and God knows you don't need Dan playing director. Speak the truth from your heart. Tell your story, Nathan."

He thought about Brooke's words. They were certainly starting to make sense.

"Brooke, I…"

"It's okay", she said, reaching for the remote and turning on the TV. "Just think about what I said."

He nodded as she flipped channels. She rested on E! briefly, just long enough for them to hear the entertainment anchors discussing Nathan's latest mishap.

"They say a picture is worth a thousand words but in this case with was a worth a couple of hundred thousand dollars. Disgraced NBA star, Nathan Scott's bad boy image has gained yet more substance with his paparazzi altercation last week in his home state of North Carolina. After being hounded and interrupted in an intimate moment with his estranged, seemingly on again, off again, ex wife, songbird, Haley James, the former Charlotte Bobcat became enraged and violently attacked a photographer, first trying to steal his camera and eventually assaulting him several times. It has been reported, to avoid a lawsuit, and like this kid needs anymore controversy, that he had paid up an undisclosed but nevertheless large sum of hush money…"

"Sorry, I'll turn it…"

"It's okay", Nathan sighed. "Leave it. I'm used to it."

"You have to get your side out there, Nathan. See what I mean, now?"

He nodded. He saw what it meant now more than ever.

"…This whole Nathan Scott, Haley James, Romeo and Juliet story becomes more interesting and unbelievable by the day, especially since the reports that surfaced late last night that seemed to indicate James married the rumored father of her infant daughter, Chris Keller, at a Las Vegas wedding chapel", the E! newsbreak continued.

Nathan and Brooke sat dumbfounded and open mouthed on the couch as they just stared at the TV set. Could the days, could life get any more surreal? True neither had seen Haley in the last 36 hours and that was more than enough time to hop a plane to Nevada. They shook their heads and looked at each other and the same question simultaneously popped out of their mouths.

"Did she just say married?"


	187. Blue Suede Shoes and Little Gold Bands

**_Author's Note: To bbbloom...loved your review! Thanks for taking the time out to write that. Hope you continue to enjoy the story and I look forward to your thoughts!_**

Haley frantically dialed the numbers over and over again, skipping the convenience of the redial button. Each time the call would take her straight to voicemail, only increasing her growing frustration and fury.

"Dammitt!" she finally muttered, her shrill tone causing Lillian to stir and cry.

Rubbing the baby's back from the pallet on the floor, the child quickly settled again only for another interruption, this time in the form of a knock on the door, to rouse her once more. It was a sheepish looking Lucas and Brooke.

"Come in, guys", Haley sighed.

"You look thrilled to see us", he quipped.

"No, it's not that. I have just been on the phone arguing with my stupid publicist for like the last hour."

"Oh?" Brooke questioned a little too sweetly, innocently and overall fake. "Whatever about?"

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Like you don't know."

"Then I take it congratulations are in order", Brooke said, handing her a medium sized box.

"What's this?" Haley quizzed trying to balance a baby and a box.

"A wedding gift", Brooke shrugged.

Haley frowned as she handed little Lillian over to Lucas and rummaged through the box.

"Brooke, this is the toaster I let you guys borrow last month."

Brooke shrugged.

"Well, excuse me. Maybe if you gave a little notice before your impromptu nuptials, one would have time to buy you a more appropriate present."

Haley groaned.

"Not you two. Please don't tell me you fell for that crap."

"You never know", Brooke commented. "You sure managed to shock the hell out of us the last time…"

"Babe", Lucas pinched her.

"Ouch."

"I did not marry Chris Keller. I promise you. I have been here in my apartment with my daughter the last 48 hours."

"So who did he marry or did they get the wrong Chris?" Lucas asked.

"Who the heck knows? I have been trying to reach his cell but it's turned off. And every tabloid in the country is begging my publicist for a statement. I don't know what's going on. It's probably just a case of mistaken identity."

They shrugged and played with the baby as news of the "wedding" continued to make waves on the television screen. Haley barely heard the soft knock on the front door. She scrambled to get it, baby in her arms. Nathan was on the other side. His expression was solemn, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Hey", he muttered.

"Hey", she said softly.

"Look, I didn't mean to interrupt but I was hoping to take Lillian for a couple of hours."

The child was already at stage where she recognized her parents. Just the sight of her dad made her giddy.

"Um, okay, sure…come in. I just need to make a bottle for her and…"

"I don't think that's a good idea. Besides, I have bottles for her downstairs."

"Okay…is everything alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Then why don't you come in and sit with us?"

Things had been tense to say the least ever since the Wrightsville Beach incident. Haley was trying to make it as less awkward as possible. Regardless she didn't want anything to affect the developing bond between her ex husband and their daughter.

"I don't think it's appropriate", he stated.

Haley laughed out loud. It was just amusing to hear Nathan Scott use the word "appropriate".

"Nathan…"

"Wouldn't want your husband to get upset."

She rolled her eyes.

"You, too? Get in here", she pulled his arm. "You know me better than that. Somebody seriously has their facts screwed up. I am not married to Chris Keller."

He breathed a huge sigh of relief, almost afraid that someone had heard it. He wanted to smile too but given everything that had recently happened, that little showing of emotion would have been inappropriate. Brooke gave Nathan a knowing smile as he held Lillian and joined the others in the living room.

"Why won't the press just leave us alone?" Lucas wondered out loud. "This is dumb. They'll do anything for a story, create anything to sell a damned magazine. I bet Chris isn't even married. I bet some poor average Joe schmuck with the same name eloped to Vegas with his girl and someone jumped the gun."

"Or they could have just made it up completely", Brooke suggested. "These people have no morals. I wouldn't put anything past them."

Nathan was quiet as he held the baby.

"It'll never end, I guess", Haley sighed sadly.

Nathan caught her gaze. She was right about that. It would never end. That was the worst part about that. That was what fueled his anger and frustration. That's what caused desperation. He had snapped. In one brief moment he had lost control. It wasn't just about his privacy, it was about protecting Haley and Lillian as well. A rash action had come from a good place. Why couldn't she just see that?

Haley's cell phone rang and she picked it up to check the Caller ID again.

"It's my agent", she huffed. "Just great. I don't feel like doing this. I mean, what am I supposed to say?"

"Did you try Chris again?" Brooke asked.

Haley sighed as she punched in the seven digits.

"Hey, you've reached Chris, the original Hell in Keller. I can't come to the phone but if you leave me a message, I'll get back to you if you're one of the lucky ones."

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Chris, it's me…again. Where are you? Look, I don't know what's going on but these rumors about us are getting out of control. If you're living under a rock or haven't checked the last 30 or so messages I left you, then it's me, Haley James telling you that the whole world thinks we eloped. We didn't…I know I didn't. If you could, call me back. I'm freaking out here."

She hung up.

"You know, this could all be a joke", Lucas mentioned.

"Ha ha, real funny", Haley mumbled.

"Broody's probably right. Chris is a prankster, huh? I bet any minute Ashton Kutcher is gonna bust through that door."

Haley shot Brooke a skeptical look. The brunette ignored her as she pulled out her compact and began applying a touch up coat of mascara and lipstick.

"Babe, what are you doing?" Lucas asked.

"What? I want to look good for the camera."

Haley rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"There will be no cameras and no Ashton Kutchers coming through my door, believe me. This has to be one huge misunderstanding. Chris would never play a joke on me like this. He's not that kind of guy."

"Oh yeah", Nathan rolled his eyes. "He's a real prince."

"Nathan!" Haley gave him a death glare.

The back door opened and Taylor emerged, yawning as she shuffled her way to the fridge for a snack.

"God, what's with all the commotion? You guys could wake the dead. I was trying to sleep, you know."

"Tay, it's four in the afternoon", Haley reminded her.

Taylor shrugged as she rummaged though a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips.

"Sorry, I'm exhausted. We can't all be high energy rock stars, basketball players and…oh what is it that you do again, Brookie?"

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"It's Brooke. And when I'm not presiding over my own successful interior designing business, I am sticking my pedicured Steve Madden clad feet up the asses of freeloading, rude, underdressed, tacky bitchy older sisters."

Brooke gave her a fake smile that Taylor returned.

"You two stop it, please", Haley begged. "I am in the midst of a crisis here."

"What happened this time, little sis?"

"Apparently someone by the name of Chris Keller and Haley James went and eloped and everyone thinks its me."

"Was it?"

"Tay!"

"Sorry! Geez, don't bite my head off. I was just asking. You never know these days."

"It wasn't me, thank you very much. I don't even know if it was Chris. I can't get in touch with him."

"He's probably passed out. Hey, this whole marriage thingamajig…did it happen in Vegas?"

"Yeah."

Taylor scratched her head.

"It didn't so happen to take place at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, did it?"

"I think it did", Haley answered. "How did you know?"

Brooke frowned.

"How tacky. Who the hell gets married there anyway? You, your significant other, a couple of witnesses, and a Elvis impostor wearing blue suede shoes. Isn't that cute?"

Taylor laughed out loud as she helped herself to a Coke.

"Damn. I guess it isn't true", she commented to the three and a half astonished onlookers. "What happens in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas."

"Tay…"

"Say, former brother in law, do you have the name of that annulment person?"

"Taylor!" Haley felt her heart pounding. "Oh my God! Did you…did you and Chris…"

"Did Chris and me what?"

"Get married, you dodo bird?"

Taylor shrugged.

"We did go to Vegas. It was some show he wanted to see. And we did party. Let's see, we did drink too much. For future reference guys, cranberry and vodka, plus beer couple with shots of Southern Comfort and lime juice just don't mix."

"Taylor Michelle James!"

"Apparently it's Taylor Michelle James Keller. I was so fucked up, I thought it was a dream but I guess not. I guess I married Chris Keller."


	188. Can You Handle My Truth?

**_Author's Note: To LilAngel, who sent me an invitation to the C2...I swear I'm not ignoring you. Send a private message to my e-mail account and explain what it is and what you need me to do. Sorry, I didn't respond sooner but I was super busy. Thanks..._**

Closure was the word of the day. It was about gaining peace within. It was about picking up the pieces of what was left of your life. It was about somehow finding the courage and the strength to move on. That's what Nathan Scott was trying to do. That's what had taken him from New York back to Charlotte, North Carolina for three days.

He sighed as it was growing dark. The setting sun made it seem much earlier than it was but then again, wasn't that the best part of summer?

"Honey, why don't you turn on the lights?" she asked.

He shook his head.

"It's okay, Mom. I can see."

Deb nodded and let him finish his business in the living room as she returned her attention to the kitchen. She eyed the clock. Nathan's guests would be there soon. They had to be there before the sun went down completely.

Nathan looked around, wiping the sweat from his brow with the end of his shirt. He thought about cranking up the AC but instead, opened the window. It just felt like the right thing to do. Besides, he could look out the window and see the trees. He could almost see the tennis and basketball courts. He had a bird's eye view of the pool and if he craned his neck just right, he'd get a sweet glimpse of the multi colored flower garden Megan had spent so much time attending to.

For a minute time stood still. So many familiar sights. But there was one vastly unfamiliar display. It stood out like a sore thumb. It was the huge sign on the front of his property that had been stamped in gigantic letters **SOLD**. That was it. It was finally over. In two days new owners would come and move in.

Everything about the deal had been closed. Realtors, property brokers and attorneys handled everything. Megan and Nathan didn't have to see the new owners and more importantly, they didn't have to see each other. Still he wondered what the new people would be like? Were they old? Did they have children? Were they in love? Were they happy? Did they have dogs? Cats? Were they young newlyweds with hopes and dreams? Or a retired couple looking to spend their golden years in a Charlotte mansion?

"You okay?" Deb asked carefully.

She was worried. She had been watching her son from the other room. She knew how difficult it must have been for him to pack everything up. She could only imagine how hard it was just to return to a place that had represented both immense joy and intense pain. And even still there was one more thing left for him to do. He insisted. He had to.

"I'm fine."

"You look like you have so much on your mind, Nate…"

"Just wondering what the new people will be like. What they look like and stuff…"

"You can still meet them."

Nathan looked away.

"I'm just being curious. I guess I'd really rather not know."

"I'm so worried about you", she sighed.

"Why?"

"I'm a mother. I've said it a million times. That's what we do. You're a parent. You know that."

Nathan smiled.

"I guess I do. But don't worry about me, Mom. I'm okay, or at least I'm going to be."

He put his arms around her.

"I know you will. You're a strong boy."

"Guess who I get it from?"

She blushed and looked away.

"Certainly not me."

"Of course I get it from you. Anything inside me that is good, Mom, came from you."

Tears formed in her eyes as she looked at her only child.

"I am so very proud of you."

"Why? I haven't given you very much to be proud of."

"Yes, you have. More than you know, Nate. Since the day you were born, since the first day I knew you were coming. I love you so much. Your strength and your bravery and your maturity. You've come so far. Still there is a long way to go but I know you know that. Your eyes are focused on the prize ahead. You'll be fine, just fine. I promise."

"So will you, Mom. I mean that. Leaving Dad? I know it must have been hard. But you deserve your freedom and you deserve to be happy. It took real guts after all these years."

Deb smiled.

"Well, then. I guess we're both starting over in a sense. I guess we both begin these new journeys together."

"Okay", he grinned, bumping his mother's fist with his own. "You are officially now my new PIC."

"PIC?" she laughed. "What on earth is that?"

"Partner in crime."

She looked in his blue eyes. He was her little boy and God did she love him. For so long she had dreamt of the day when they could be close again.

"I'd be delighted", she nodded.

He placed a kiss on her forehead before checking his watch. He looked outside again.

"Mom, they'll be here any second…"

"Okay. The kitchen is done."

Nathan looked around.

"So is the upstairs and I'm almost finished in the living room.

"Megan will send for what's left of her things?"

"Yeah. The courier will deliver them to her parents' house in the morning", he answered in a quiet voice.

Deb nodded.

"Well, there's only one more thing to do."

He knew what she meant. Together they reached for a pile of neatly folded white sheets. Carefully they placed them over each piece of furniture. With the sun going down and everything covered, it gave the large house and eerie glow to match the mood inside.

Mother and son stood silent but united as they surveyed the scene before them. Then they heard the vans approaching in the drive.

"They're here", he said.

Deb let them in, extending a pleasant greeting. They made themselves a comfortable working space as the younger man, their "subject" looked on. Finally they were ready for him. An artist brushed his face with make up and an assistant fussed over his dark jeans and simple white tee shirt.

"Let's go", the director of photography called out. "We're losing daylight."

Nathan was quickly ushered outside. He'd always felt a tad silly in posed photos. Once he had done a Prada spread for GQ magazine. The guys on the team never let him live it down. There he was in full color, decked out in designer gear doing his best Spencer Tracy impression. Even Lucas, Jake, Skills, Mouth and Fergie had called to give him grief.

As much as Nathan loved lucrative endorsements, even he had drawn the line when approached to represent Calvin Klein. He had nothing personal against the label or the man behind the designs. He liked their clothes, in fact. He'd even worn their boxer briefs from time to time but he'd be damned if he'd strike a sexy pose wearing only his drawers to be put up in the middle of Times Square. The money was tempting but he was an athlete, not a pretty boy, beefcake model with socks stuffed in his shorts. Not that Nathan or any Scott man would need the extra stuffing, he thought with a proud grin.

"Nathan, don't smile. Look broody. Pout for the camera. Give us James Dean."

How did one brood and pout for the camera? Nathan rolled his eyes. It was ridiculous. He felt stupid. It was not the way he wanted the photo shoot to be. It wasn't about sexy, contrived glances.

"I can't do this", he finally spoke up.

"Nathan…"

"No. We said we would do this on my terms right?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then I don't want to make faces or sulk or pout or brood. I don't want to be James Dean or Marlon Brando or anybody."

"What would you like?"

Nathan thought for a bit as he looked to his mother for telepathic support. She just smiled at him and that one look was enough to provide the answer.

"You guys wanted no holds barred access? Well, that's what you get. You get me. This is my truth…if you can handle it."

The lensman seemed intrigued. For so long Nathan Scott had spent so much time and energy dodging the ever present photographer. He hated what they stood for and what they wanted from him. Now he was offering it to him, his life, his mistakes, his hopes, his dreams, his pictures, his thoughts…his truth. All that in a 10 page spread in Esquire magazine.

It was his terms alright. They completed the picture taking process. Instead of the set up shots, there were more natural photos snapped of the fallen superstar in his element. The camera captured happiness, sadness, anger, loneliness, hope, regret, confusion. In front of the lens was a boy, a man, a father, a son, a husband, a brother, a friend, an athlete, a human. And there it was, all of it soon to be on display for a waiting world to see.

"Thank you, Nathan", the photographer said after taking the last roll of Nathan inside the empty house among the covered pieces of furniture. "Confirmation for the interview tomorrow?"

"Noon."

"Noon it is. Same time, same place. The crew will arrive one hour prior for set up."

"Okay. Um, I'd like to do the interview outside on the basketball court."

"That shouldn't be a problem. Thank you for your time."

Nathan nodded and watched as they left. Deb held her son's larger hand.

"Honey, I know why you feel you have to do this…but you don't. At any time…"

"It's okay, Mom. I do have to do this. And it's for the right reasons this time. It's about coming clean with the truth. It's about the good and bad. It's about me and the things that I have done. It's my chance to tell all."

"Why on the basketball court?" she asked. "What made you choose that location?"

Nathan thought about it for a while.

"I don't know. Basketball is a part of me, Mom. It always has been and always will be, no matter what happens. I live and die on that court. That's where my heart is. I lost my soul there so there is where I have to get it back. Somewhere along the way through all this drama, I lost the kind of man and kind of person I am. I need to get that guy back…with or without Haley. So this is my penance, kind of. I put everything on the line and I do it for you and Luke and Lillian and Megan and Yoanna…and Haley, too."

Deb smiled.

"Did I tell you how proud I am of you and the person you've become?"

"About a hundred times, Mom."

"Well, make it one hundred and one…and hey! PIC is what I prefer from now on", she winked.

"You got it", he sighed. "Truth. Nothing but the bittersweet from now on."

Deb closed her eyes as the night's summer breeze blew through her hair.

"And the truth shall set you free."


	189. On The Record

Haley sighed as she watched Lillian sleep. Her precious little angel looked so peaceful. The mother couldn't help but smile. It had been a rough few months and they had come a long way. Haley was finally the mom she always wanted to be, the one everyone knew she could be. And Lillian had finally cemented that bond with her mother. She cried for her, she longed to be in her arms, and when she heard her voice or saw her face, it was instant recognition. Haley hadn't been prepared for exactly how amazing that would be.

Mother and daughter were a happy pair but there was something missing…the constant presence of a father. Nathan had been great and he had moved to New York for the summer to be closer to them. But the summer was winding down and with weeks before the start of the pre season, the newly reinstated NBA player was on a mad cross country dash with his manager and agent, shopping himself and his balling skills to team after team, hoping someone would pick him up for a decent amount of money.

Haley didn't realize how much she would hate it when he was gone. He would call to check in and she'd put the phone to Lillian's face so Nathan could sing her his off key version of some song he'd made up about a bunny rabbit. She would laugh and move her little arms. He was a wonderful father and she missed him for Lillian. What would happen if a West Coast team like Seattle or Los Angeles offered him a contract? Even Atlanta and Miami on the East Coast were too far away. That meant more time away from their daughter…and her. Haley dared to even think the thought. But she'd quickly sweep it to the back of her mind. It didn't matter much what she thought anymore anyway, especially after that disastrous incident on the beach with the photographer.

"Knock, knock", Brooke smiled, not waiting to be invited in formally. "Is the Wicked Bitch of the Village in?"

Haley smiled faintly. She didn't quite know how the "feud" between Brooke and Taylor had started but she doubted it would ever end.

"It's safe. She's out with friends."

"Friends?" Brooke frowned. "Who knew the Crypt Keeper had friends?"

"What's up, Tigger?"

Brooke plopped down on the couch beside her.

"Well, I came to hang out with my niece by association here but since she's knocked out, I guess I can chill with you."

"Thanks", Haley playfully rolled her eyes.

"And I brought you this", Brooke reached into her bag. "I think you should see it."

It was a copy of Esquire magazine. To Haley's astonishment, Nathan was on the cover.

"Brooke, what is this?"

"He did an interview. You should read it."

Haley was stunned as she followed the table of contents to page 79 where the cover story was featured. The front cover featured a color photo of Nathan in a suit, tie loosened, white dress shirt wrinkled. His rumpled hair and stone expression were sexy as he held a basketball in his right hand. Inside the magazine was a black and white photo of a deep in thought Nathan sitting on the floor of a darkened room, his only prop, a sheet covered chair that sat idly in the background.

**Great Scott! The Positively True and Amazing Adevtures of a Fallen Star **was the title.

_You can read so much into his handsome face…hauntedness, anguish, imperiousness, menace, genius. But Nathan Scott, the emergent co- star of the Southern royalty that already gave us Lucas, is in reality a gentle, shambolic soul. The James Dean like mystique? It's the mask his reputation wears to camouflage the real man behind one of the country's most infamous and documented bad boy characters. Here the basketball legend in the making candidly recounts his greatest hopes, fears and finally reveals the truth about his troublesome past…_

_The edgy athlete bounces a Spaulding basketball on the smooth, black asphalt. He wears neatly pressed khaki shorts and a green Polo tee shirt; his crisp combed hair and piercing blue eyes that only add to the pretty boy image. He looks like he belongs on a Versace runway...or at least a GAP commercial._

_It is his uncanny ability that makes him capable of transforming himself. It's almost hard to believe the shy young man who twiddles his thumbs and seems too nervous to make eye contact, the same lovable guy that gave his mother a sweet kiss before the start of the interview is the same man seen cavorting with strippers and beating the paparazzi to a bloody pulp. Still he eludes a quiet but ever present level of intensity. On the court he is known for his "jack of all trades" style…high scoring, unstoppable defense and charisma. His passion for the game is evident whether he's playing in the NBA in front of millions or just shooting around a little informal one on one with a hapless journalist for Esquire magazine. Focused, determined and tense, Scott is so nakedly consumed by the play, he's almost painful to watch. He has been compared to the brooding, mysterious and tragic James Dean. Many wonder if his story will mirror that of another former basketball great, Dennis Rodman. A heartrending tale of an immensely talented baller whose personal troubles, quick temper and off the court antics overshadowed and eventually derailed his brilliant career. That remains to be seen and it seems these days everybody has an opinion…and most of them aren't good. Many predict this is the end of the road. A promising livelihood over before it really began. Critics and fans alike have written him off. They say its over. The funny thing is, someone forgot to tell Nathan Scott all this._

_My first experience with Scott occurred two years ago, when I was interviewing his brother, fellow superstar, Lucas Scott. In a sparsely deorated loft in the City of Brotherly Love, I sat with the brothers Scott and Megan Powell, Nathan's then fiancée and now estranged and soon to be ex wife. As Lucas and I chatted, Nathan slipped furtively in and out of the house, casting sidelong glances. At the time, I read him as fragile and spooky, yet cocky and confident, the yin to his older half brother's yang, a tortured and confused bad boy perpetually dogged by the angelic glow and shadow of his saintly brother. As it turned out, I had it all wrong. That Nathan was a far cry from the loopy, easygoing virtuoso I'd spend some time with years later._

_Scott once said his decision to become a professional ball player was based on the fact that "I can't draw, I can't sing, I'm not handy and really not all that smart". Be that as it may, he seems uncommonly suited to the extreme rigors of this line of work. His upbringing may have been the most contributing factor. He was born to college sweetheart parents, Daniel and Deborah Lee Scott, who met at freshman orientation. Dan Scott was once an NBA hopeful himself but his dreams were dashed when he succumbed to a debilitating knee injury. Instead, he majored in business and he and Deb, settled into the normalcy of suburbia at its finest. Eventually the family moved back to Dan's hometown of Tree Hill where he successfully opened an automobile dealership. They lived in a mansion on a hill in the good part of town. They drove fancy cars and joined an exclusive country club. And very early on, it was plain to see that the younger Scott had inherited his father's natural athleticism. _

_Nathan's earliest memory is shooting a sponge ball into a plastic Fisher Price hoop in his folks' garage. Life was happy, normal and uncomplicated…but not for long. In a conservative town known more for its immaculately manicured lawns and social gatherings, a scandal would come back to haunt Dan Scott. His high school love, Karen Rowe, had become pregnant shortly after graduation and the golden boy had left her to pursue his own interests. With his return to Tree Hill was the revelation that indeed there was another Scott son, one named, Lucas, one who lived with a struggling single mother on the poor side of town, one who was just as talented on the court. Bitter, resentful and weary, it would take years before the brothers' paths would cross and it just so happened to be on a basketball court. There was a bitter rivalry and it would take Dan's unexpected heart attack and chronic condition before father and eldest son eventually reconciled but before that is the amazing tale of how two enemies became friends and brothers._

_The unlikely link was a petite and pretty auburn haired school tutor with a big laugh and even bigger heart. No one at the time could have guessed that the shy beauty wearing the ponchos and crazy hats would soon become one of the world's most successful entertainers. Enter Haley James._

_I ask Nathan if he remembers the first time he ever saw her. He gives me the first real smile of the interview and reminisces quietly. "It was at the lockers and I was talking to my best friend, Tim. She was across the way with Lucas actually and that's why I noticed her. They seemed to be good friends. I needed a way to get him. I wanted him off the team. We'd tried hazing, beating his ass…everything. So I figured if I made his best friend fall for me, then slept with her and left her, it would be the best dig, the best way to turn the tables."_

_But fate had other plans and soon the tables were turned on Nathan as he found himself falling for girl he had hired to tutor him. They fell in love and began dating. She was there for him when the pressure mounted and he collapsed on court after overdosing on performance enhancing drugs. She was there for him through the slow build of a relationship with the brother he'd only heard about it. She was there for him through the seeming demise of his parents' marriage. And it was she who helped him become legally emancipated at 16. She was there for him during his father's heart attack and subsequent HCM diagnosis but not before convincing her parents to sign the papers that allowed two high school juniors to get married._

_It is the sweet love story you only hear about. Tales of hearts and flowers, holding hands and baking cookies together. Two lovers blissfully happy from opposite sides of the tracks. Never mind the growing money problems, never mind increasing opposition from the Scott family, never mind Nathan's decision to postpone attendance of the most prestigious pre collegiate basketball camp in the nation in lieu of being away from his child bride. It was a marriage every one questioned but nevertheless a union Nathan and Haley Scott dreamed would last forever. Enter a scrawny, arrogant, talented and well connected musician who passed the days away selling records at the local music store. Enter Chris Keller._

_The story, although only recently revealed has become legendary. It is filled with innuendo, rumors and mystique, yet another of Tree Hill's infamous urban legends. A reformed jerk morphs into a loving, sincere, self sacrificing husband. An entire town watches the marriage, waiting to see when it will dissolve and what Nathan Scott will do to screw things up with a sweet girl with the saintly reputation. After forming a "professional, music" partnership with Chris Keller, a secret affair begins. Haley Scott leaves her husband, her family and her life behind in Tree Hill as she runs off on tour with her new lover. How much is fact and what is fiction? Haley James has never disclosed but Nathan Scott has plenty to say about the matter._

"_Did your wife leave you for Chris Keller?" I ask point blank. His blue eyes darken and narrow and he shifts uncomfortably on the bench by the custom designed basketball court of the lavish mansion, which he has just sold. "She says no and I believe her. Haley left for the music. At the time I didn't get that. All I knew was she was leaving me. It hurt. It made me mad. I couldn't handle it. We were both young and we had a lot on our plate. The feelings were real but maybe we rushed things. But she did try to stay in touch. I think she wanted it to work. I did too but I let pride and ego stand in the way."_

_The couple annulled the union months later…or so it was thought. Fast forward. Haley James becomes one of the most popular musicians of our time. She releases a string of albums that go double platinum. She wins American Music Awards, Billboard Awards, MTV Awards and the coveted Grammy. She sings the National Anthem at the Superbowl. Her national and international tours are instant sell outs. Her sweet personality and all American good girl image immediately label her as America's new sweetheart. She is truly living the dream all over the world, setting up new roots in the center of Manhattan's youthful and trendy elite Chelsea neighborhood._

_Travel a few hundred miles south. A young husband is devastated. He spirals into a world of alcohol, criminal mischief and fast women. With the love and help of his brother and friends, he is briefly rescued from the path of certain self destruction as he is encouraged to grab the second chance opportunity of High Fliers basketball camp. The summer in Florida changes his life. He graduates high school and attends UNC where he leads the Tarheels to unparamounted success. He is a first round NBA draft pick. Not to mention, somewhere in the middle, he found love again. Enter Megan Powell._

_Just mention her name and I swear I see tears in his eyes. He talks of their first meeting. He was in a bar on his way to a fraternity party for "another night of beer guzzling and bed hopping". He meets a pretty blonde who isn't aware of his sports achievements and couldn't care less when she realizes she is in the company of the university's most admired and famous attendee. Slowly, they fall in love. Megan remains by his side for the rest of their UNC days. He proposes marriage between graduation and the draft ceremony. In the first round, he is picked by the Charlotte Bobcats. The couple buy a home and make plans for the wedding of the year. Then the bombshell! Nathan Scott is already married…still legally bound to Haley James, a woman he hadn't seen in years, due to a paperwork technicality in the annulment neither had been made aware of. Both are devastated. This is the first link in a chain of surreal events that will turn many lives upside down._

_Nathan describes frustration, shock, anger and desperation upon learning of the situation. A demon from his past that he had failed to exorcise had returned. The solution was a quickie divorce in the Dominican Republic. Fast and painless, right? Under normal circumstances, yes but Mother Nature had other plans in store. Enter the tsunami._

_Nathan Scott has never publicly discussed those days in Santa Domingo. I first ask him to describe the tsunami. He breathes hard and talking about it seems to somehow send him back to last summer. "It was an earthquake at first, then there were these little tremors. Nobody knew what was going on and it didn't seem like a big deal at first. Then they told us to evacuate the hotel. It was all this commotion in the lobby and then we just hear this sound…this awful sound like a train coming full speed ahead right at you and I look up and see this wave. It doesn't even look real. It looks like a Hollywood special effect. When the water hit, it just shattered the windows. People and houses and cars and everything was literally washed away in like seconds. It was dark out and the water was so powerful. I'll never forget it."_

_It is hard for him to continue. Nathan finds a tree and clings to life. He screams out for Haley. She is like a needle in a haystack. And then, what can only be described as the first series of what could be called miracles, he sees her. He grabs her but loses his grip. She goes under. He fears the worst. Bobbing to the surface again, he grabs her and risks his life to pull her to temporary safety atop a flimsy, wavering tree. They make it through the night. The next day they face blistering sunburn and near deadly mosquito attacks. But the worst is yet to come. The branch is giving way. There is nowhere to go. Water is all around them. There are no survivors, no help, just random dead bodies floating by on occasion. In the distance on higher ground is a mud hut. It is their only chance. But between them and shelter is miles of water. What if there are other waves? There is no time for "what ifs?". It is "now or never". Fighting through pain, fatigue and disorientation, they make it. Higher ground, a shack and an abundance of coconuts, the only factors sustaining their lives. The wait begins…death is lurking._

"_It was crazy being in that hut", he sighs. "It was the only thing protecting us but we were still scared. We didn't know if anyone would find us. We thought we might die."_

_I ask the billion dollar question._

"_Did you and your ex wife, Haley James have sex?"_

_He is visibly uncomfortable. "Yeah", he finally admits. "It's not something I'm proud of and probably her either. It was wrong because I was engaged to another woman. I really don't want to get into this, details and stuff." I remind him this is his exclusive, no holds barred, chance to tell his side. "I know", he says. "But I have to be careful. I don't want to disrespect Haley…or Megan." We leave it at that._

_Soon after they are rescued. The embassy confirms the divorce. They leave the Republic separately, both harboring a heavy secret burden. Nathan tries to go on with normal life but he can't get his ex or their intimate time together out of his mind. He admits to getting in his SUV and attempting to drive to where he knows Haley is in concert. But a phone call mid way causes him to turn around. Megan is pregnant. Nathan cannot leave. He continues with his shameful secret, he lives with the emotional roller coaster of loving and being torn in between two women. A rage develops deep inside. A time bomb is ticking._

"_I lost it. I couldn't deal with anything. Not my family or my wife or my career. The pressure from the media was crazy. I was losing my mind. I needed help but I didn't know how to step up and ask for it."_

_He turns to the one thing that has been solace for years. Nathan reaches for the bottle._

"_Drinking was a temporary fix. It made me feel good. It makes you think your problems are gone but actually, it's just part of the problem. It changed me. It made me treat people differently. It made me hurt a lot of people. It made me hurt myself. I allowed it to ruin my career."_

_Scandal followed. Skipping practice, intoxicated at games, public bouts with the Charlotte coaching staff, poor on court performance. Scott was on thin ice and those that loved him most knew it. An intervention was staged but an irate Nathan fled, his mother, Deb, jumping into his vehicle at the last minute. Drunk and in an attempt to rattle her, he began swerving the wheel. Then he lost control. At the end of the night, Deb had minor injuries, a bicyclist father of two, Michael Sanchez, was fighting for his life and Nathan had narrowly escaped felony charges by testing one point under North Carolina's legal alcohol limit._

_That night changed his life. It put things into perspective. He has not touched a drop of alcohol since._

"_Suddenly everything was different. I was fucked up but I was fucking things up for a lot of other innocent people. It helped me realize, yeah, my mom has made some mistakes but she's still my mother and I love her. It made me realize how good my brother and our friends are. I was letting them down. And I almost killed a guy. He's recovered a lot since then but I feel guilty. I think about it everyday. He and his family are great. They forgave me and we're friends now." Friends, huh? Do they keep in touch? To this day. Nathan Scott, of his own free will, financially supports the Sanchez family._

_It was the event that cost him his career but also the incident that started his long path to redemption._

"_I wish I could say everything was great after that but it wasn't. I was still lost. I wasn't the husband I should have been. I had a great wife who loved me and treated me like gold. I just gave her shit. She put up with so much. Megan didn't deserve any of it…and I didn't deserve her. I hurt her so much. She's such a great girl and I want her and the world to know that. Everything…all of this is my fault."_

_Even her premature labor and the death of their infant daughter days later? Nathan seems to think so. The pain is evident. He asks to take a break. He can't even talk about it._

_He chats with his mother quietly and returns later, apologetic and still shaken. We resume. He is at the point in the story where he is a broken man trying to mend the pieces of his marriage and life. Then the story breaks. Haley James is pregnant. She is seen all over town in the company of Chris Keller. Speculation runs rampant._

"_Did you think it was your child?" Nathan shrugs. "Deep down, I guess I always knew. Yeah I had questions and maybe even doubt but I knew."_

_Haley wasn't talking and conformation came sadly when Jamarah Lillian was diagnosed with aplastic anemia, a life threatening condition that required an emergency bone marrow transplant. Nathan, flew to New York to begin a bedside vigil and exhausting search for a donor. He had lost one child and was determined not to lose another. In the biggest twist of fate, in a mirror where history was seemingly repeating itself, Dan Scott provided the marrow that saved little Lillian's (as her parents call her) life._

"_You will publicly go on record and say Lillian is your daughter?" Nathan nods. "She is my child. I love her. I want Lillian to know she was made out of love. I am not and never will be ashamed of her…but I am ashamed of me."_

_Days later, Megan left the marriage and filed for divorce. He has not seen or spoken to her since._

"_I love Megan. I do. Until the day I die. It's nothing she did wrong, it was just a series of unfortunate events. I didn't handle stuff in my past, it came back to bite me in the ass and she got hurt most of all. I don't blame her if she hates me but I am sorry."_

"_Is Haley James the love of your life?" I ask. "Yes. She and may daughters, both of them, are the loves of my life."_

_I ask him where their relationship stands now. He says they are finally friends again. There is a deep love. There is want to try again but with that comes fear and hesitation. He has no idea what the future might bring. Most of all, he wants to be good in every way…a good son, a good player, a good brother, a good friend, a good father…a good human being._

_What is next for Nathan Scott? He resides in New York currently to be closer to his daughter but winning a recent appeal to be reinstated in the NBA, once again makes for an uncertain future. He's dedicated to reestablishing his career, gaining the respect of his peers and becoming a role model kids can look up to. He's close to his brother and enjoying the reconciliation with his brother. He attends AA meetings, volunteers and donates to various charities. He's a man on a mission to repair his image._

_Oh and the paparazzi thing? He still says the tabloids and the paparazzi are "maggots". He is slightly apologetic about the latest incident that landed him back in the papers. He has promised to control his once uncontrollable temper but he pleads with the press to put themselves in the celebrities' shoes. And he vows to protect the safety and privacy of his child…at any time, at any cost._

_So there we are. The process is over. The interview is complete. I have brought forth all the hard questions and he has delivered with amazing honesty and sincerity. The photos have been taken. It is time to go. We shake hands and I say good bye to him and Deb. They wave and see me out. Long after I am away from them, his presence continues to haunt me. For one so young, Nathan Scott has lived so much already. But he is as strong and determined as he is wounded and fragile. He is a survivor. The story of his journey forward has just begun…_

Haley held the magazine in shaky hands. She was stunned. She was on the verge of tears. She didn't know how to react. She hadn't even known he was going to do the interview, much less what he would say. It certainly shed some light and put things into new perspective.

"You okay?" Brooke asked softly.

Haley nodded and swallowed hard as she wiped a tear away.

"Yeah", she finally spoke. "I…I just have to see Nathan."


	190. Like Taking Candy From A Baby

**_Author's Note: Major error in the previous chapter. With my fading memory, I said that Nathan and Lucas attended UNC when originally they, along with Megan, were at Duke. My bad! I will try to fix major typos at the end of the story... (Love ya, Beth...lol)_**

Deb trembled as she read the article for the umpteenth time. It was more like five but she couldn't peel her eyes away. The phone rang and it startled her.

"Yes?"

"Deb, it's me."

"Karen…"

"I just wanted to see if you were okay. I hadn't heard from you."

"I'm fine. Really, Karen. Thank you for asking. I, um, I was just reading Esquire magazine and…"

"I know. Nathan's interview. I read it, too. What did you think?"

Deb sucked in a breath.

"I don't know what to think. Karen, there are no words…"

"I can imagine how hard that must have been for him."

"It was. I was there. But I am so damned proud of him right now."

"And you should be. He's a good kid. Nathan is going to be fine."

"I hope so."

"You did a good job with him."

"I did my best but I can't help but think my best isn't good enough."

"It was, Deb. It is. And the only proof you need of that is to just take a look at the fine young man he has become."

Deb smiled, her heart beaming with pride and ease. There was a soft knock at the door.

"Karen, I have to go. Someone's at the door. I'll stop by the café later tonight. I'll help you close."

"Sounds great. Can't wait to see you and I'll have a fresh pot of coffee waiting."

Deb placed the cordless back in its holster and walked to the front door. She opened it and to her surprise it was Dan. She hadn't seen him in a while. He looked different. Still tan and taunt, he was dressed in jeans and a plain red tee shirt. His hair had grown a little long and the unshaven scruff on his face was making for a nicely forming goatee.

"Dan, wh…what are you doing here?" she asked softly.

Instinctively her hands found the bad that was housing the short ponytail pulled on top of her head. It was just Dan but even then she felt nervous in her track pants and tank top.

"I brought you a copy of this", he waved the newest edition of Esquire around. "I thought you might like to see it if you haven't already."

"Of course I have. Besides, I was there when he gave the interview."

"So I gathered from reading it."

Deb sighed. She wasn't in the mood.

"Why are you here, Dan? Huh? Why'd you even bother to come? To chastise me? To bitch about Nathan's interview?"

"Deb…"

"Well, I don't want to hear it. You have no right and no say in anything I do. Those days are long gone, buddy. And as far as your son? You should be proud. He did a very noble thing."

"I am proud."

"What?"

"You heard me in a quiet voice. I am proud of Nathan and of Lucas, too."

"Dan…"

"Please. I won't take long, just a minute of your time. If I could just sit down…"

Deb folded her arms, unsure.

"Fine", she eventually conceded. "You have ten minutes. Say whatever it is you have to say, then please leave."

He nodded and sat down.

"Thank you. Listen, Deb, I know our boy has been through a lot. I only wanted to make things better even though at times I only made it worse. But he doesn't need me. He proved that. The interview was dignified and brilliant, to say the least. It clarified a lot of things for me that, I, his own father didn't even know. I'm glad he did what he did. And I'm glad you were there for him."

"Dan…"

"Remember when he was a little boy? Kindergarten, it was. The teachers had the kids work on a special Valentine's Day project. He came home with his little Star Wars backpack so proud to give his mother the heart he had made for her in class. You remember that, Deb?"

She closed her eyes.

"I remember it all."

Dan smiled faintly at the memory as he flipped open his copy of the magazine to Nathan's article. There stuck in the crease was the tattered and faded paper heart from 19 years ago. Deb reached for it, her hands feeling the material, tears springing to his eyes. In large, sloppy letters, he had scrawled: **To Mommy, Happy Valentine's Day! Love, Na-than** She smiled as his handwriting had been so big back then, he'd run out of room for his name, thus having to split it in two.

"He was our sweet boy, Deb", Dan sighed. "From the moment he was first born to every minute thereafter, all my hopes and dreams have been inside that boy. I love him and I think we did a fine job, despite the mistakes. Nathan is a good man…and you're a good mother."

Deb chuckled to herself.

"Why are you in such a good mood? Did you run over some child's puppy or something?"

"I'm being genuine, Deb. You should know that. You know me better than anyone."

She looked him right in the eye.

"Maybe so but you haven't been genuine in so long I forgot you could be."

"Did you forget this?"

He turned to the next page and there was a bigger paper heart. It was just as old but the penmanship was slightly neater. Below the inscribed date, it read: **_To Deb, my Valentine today and every other day of the year and hopefully the rest of our lives. Thank you for being a wonderful wife and mother. I couldn't ask for anything better. You're the love of my life…you and Nathan are my whole world. Love, Dan_**

She remembered. She remembered very well. They had been so young back then. Nathan was still in elementary school and the dealership had just taken off. Deb remembered that time most because it was one of the happiest of her life. They were a family then, a real family.

"You kept that?" she managed. "All these years?"

"Of course, I did. Deb, I'm not the heartless monster you think I am, even though along the way I must admit I wasn't always the husband I should have been. I can't apologize enough and I suppose actions would have spoken louder than mere words."

"Dan, I do remember the day you gave this to me. I remember the man who gave it to me…and it's not you. You haven't been that guy, the sweet boy I fell in love with, for years."

"What do you want me to say?"

"What can you say? It doesn't matter anyway. We're done."

"I know", he sighed. "I respect your decision. I know I haven't given you much choice in the matter. I'm sure you've already notified a divorce attorney…"

"I haven't yet…but I will."

"Very well then. I won't put up a fight when you do. You deserve your independence after all these years and who am I to keep standing in the way?"

"Fine…"

"I guess I'll be on my way then."

"Okay…"

"Deb", he stopped before standing up.

"What?"

"Just do me one last favor. Please…"

"What is it, Dan?"

He smiled a real and sincere smile.

"Just remember the good times. Please let me have comfort in knowing that it wasn't all bad. I tried my best and I did…I do love you. Think about us as a family in the front row videotaping Nathan's second grade, play, you know the one where he played the Pied Piper. And take time out to remember our anniversaries…glorious trips, lots of laughter, lots of lovemaking. Just remember our talks or the times when we just held each other and said nothing at all. Remember the time when we were a family and when we were happy and when you loved me."

Tears fell down Deb's cheeks.

"Why? Is this another part of your sick game? More manipulation? How dare you come here and do this and be this way!"

He sighed and walked to the door.

"Because after the quest for power, money, control and success, which I all have, despite all that…I have ended up exactly what I was most afraid of. I am a bitter, frightened, lonely, alienated middle aged man…and most of it is at my own hand. Because they say you never appreciate what you really have until it's gone…and boy am I learning that lesson the hard way. And finally because…well…I love you, Deb. I still do very much. Always have and always will. I'm sorry I hurt you so. I'm sorry it didn't work out."

She couldn't stop crying. She did remember that man she had married so long ago. And she had prayed so hard for God to touch his now cold and brittle heart. Even in the bad times she had loved him. And she had understood him in a way no one else had. She did love him with all her heart. He was her husband, the father of her only child. And besides…the nights were lonely for her as well.

"Dan, wait…"

She shut the door and stood beside him.

"I do love you but you have to know, I can't be around that horrible ogre of a man you have turned into."

"I know…"

"I want to be happy, I would love for us to be happy together but you have a lot of changing to do…"

"I understand that, Deb. I am willing. I will do whatever it takes. I promise you."

"How do I know this isn't bullshit?"

"You don't…you just have to trust me. You have to take a gamble on us…on me, on our love. Nathan's interview and all his pain, losing Yoanna, gaining Jamarah…it has all taken such a toll on us. It has changed everything. It changes me. You guys are my family and I love you very much. I need you. This is the one thing I can't afford to mess up."

He tenderly stroked Deb's tear stained face.

"I want so much to believe you. I want to take that chance but…God have mercy on your soul if you're lying to me again. My heart can't take much more."

He raised his head to reveal a set of his own darker but moist eyes.

"Neither can mine."

She gave way to sobs and collapsed in his strong arms as he embraced her. All the while he gingerly kissed the top of her head and whispered sweet nothings of comfort to her. It was a relief. God have given him, them, another chance. He hadn't lost everything after all. He had his wife back.

"I love you, Dan."

He held her close and slowly, methodically his warm smile transformed into his all too familiar sickening smirk. He had done it and it was cake…just like taking candy from a baby. He had talked his way back into her heart and her bed. Was there ever any doubt? She was coming home back where she belonged. Hadn't he called it? They always came back…eventually.

"I love you, too, Deb…"


	191. A Knight's Tale

**_Author's Note: For Jess! Good luck on the annuities, Ma. I miss ya!_**

"Ms. Davis, will you be back in time for the meeting next week with Linda Albrecht? She wanted us to begin the preliminary planning for decorating the new Hilton they're building downtown."

Brooke smiled at the assistant.

"Like I'd miss that meeting? Please. Everybody who is anybody in the design world in this town has wanted that account and we got it. I wouldn't miss that appointment for all the money in the world, and speaking of, we are going to make a financial killing after this one."

"Good, this is too important. We need you, boss."

Brooke winked. She loved attention and she loved to feel needed and wanted.

"Well, I will be back in Philadelphia full time in a few days. I'm just tying up loose ends."

"That's right. The pre season starts soon."

Brooke sighed.

"Yeah…"

"You must be excited. It will be good to be home although I'm sure you miss Mr. Scott when he is away on the road."

Of course she missed him. Hell, she missed him when he left the room to grab a beer. But lately, ever since the latest excursion to Tree Hill, things had changed. Lucas was different. Even when he was with her, it was like he wasn't. She was missing him now.

"Huh? Oh yeah…um, I'm pretty excited to be back and uh…back to the meeting. Just make sure the presentations are complete. I want to review them before we go. And I need that invoice on the Bunker home on my desk as soon as possible. Oh and make a note that the McHugh's have decided to purchase the 30 grand kitchen set in lieu of the one for 12. Can we say commission?" she squealed.

With a wink and a bounce in her step, Brooke returned to her spacious office. She loved the fact that it read "President" underneath her name in gold plate on her oak door. In fact, she loved everything about her career. She had assembled a dynamite team in Philadelphia and the success and profits from her acquired contracts were speaking for themselves. Things were going great, at least professionally speaking. It was a welcome distractive avenue that could keep her busy and her mind off of ensuing personal problems.

"Angie?" she buzzed the receptionist.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Can you get me a Tab?"

"A what?"

"A cold Tab, you know, like the soda?"

Angie hesitated.

"Um, I'll try but I haven't seen a Tab since the 80's, Miss Davis."

"Oh", Brooke said.

Where had that come from? Usually a Diet Coke or Pepsi or bottled water would do. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen a Tab herself in years. But somehow being told "no", being turned down, being rejected in a way brought tears to her eyes. Brooke felt like breaking down, even if it was only over a stupid soda.

Sighing, she pulled out a stack of papers and went to work. She had contracts and audits and client feedback to read before going back to New York. She had been so leery initially of the idea of moving in with Nathan in Haley's building but it had turned out to be not so bad after all. Time had flown by and now it was time to leave. After packing and a few more days, it would be over. Of course New York was only 100 miles and a shot car or God forbid train ride away, Brooke had a feeling she would be making the trip often. She loved little Jamarah and it had been nice to get reacquainted with Tutor Girl once more.

Brooke tapped her pencil. After all these years, would a final Naley reconciliation even be possible? Hell, anything was possible and that tiny hint of hope made her smile. The two were crazy about each other. Why couldn't they make it work? It would be hard. Relationships weren't always easy. She and Lucas had worked at it daily. And what about Jake and Peyton? They had a child in the mix and they managed to keep it altogether.

Gosh, they had been friends for so long already. Brooke wondered what the future held in store for each of them. Would they always be friends? Would they always be in each other's lives? And as far as significant others, would they always remain together?

"Brooke Davis!"

Brooke jumped as she heard her name over the loudspeaker…and boy was it loud. What the hell was Angie doing, using a bullhorn?

"Angie, what's up? I hear you. People in Rhode Island heard you I'm sure", she rolled her eyes.

"Ma'am, I have no idea what you're talking about. I heard it but I didn't call you."

"Then who did?"

"Brooke Davis!"

"What the…"

Jamie, a partner, knocked on the door and entered.

"Sounds like it's coming from outside."

They immediately ran to the window. Brooke couldn't believe her eyes. The busy city street in front of her office had been taken over by horse drawn carriages. Men dressed in Old English military uniforms marched proudly with swords and guns. Jesters carried horns.

"Is it Gay pride week?" Brooke wondered.

Then she saw it. The end of the procession was a white horse and someone atop of it in a knight's full armored garb.

"Oh God, they're headed this way", Jamie said in astonishment. "They are stopping at our door."

Brooke and Jamie headed to the front where the rest of the office had speechlessly gathered. Sure enough there was a brief knock and all the people they had seen outside made their way into the space.

"We are here to see Lady Brooke Davis", one of them announced.

Brooke's eyes widened as she turned to Angie.

"Did you forget to document one of my appointments?" she whispered tersely.

"No, ma'am, Miss Davis. I would have remembered if we had any castles to decorate", she giggled.

A young girl in peasant's gear proceeded to Brooke, throwing scented rose petals in a trail.

"M' lady", she bowed.

Brooke couldn't help but laugh as she curtsied and was presented with a fresh bouquet of wildflowers.

"Why thank you. They're absolutely beautiful."

"Sir Lucas Scott", the girl presented dramatically with the wave of a hand.

Brooke looked confused. Lucas? Her Lucas? The small gathered crowd waited eagerly. A few minutes passed.

"Sir Lucas Scott", the girl said louder.

Clanking all the way down the hall, was the armored "knight" they had seen on the white horse. He walked up to her and clumsily reached to remove his head piece. He was having a hard time so a giggling Brooke helped him out.

"Thanks, babe", a red faced Lucas breathed. "It's hot as hell in there."

"Broody, what on earth are you doing?"

"Oh yeah", he cleared his throat.

"Brooke Davis…I love you. I have loved you since I was a scrappy teenager shooting baskets on the River Court. The love you have given me, the happiness you make me feel everyday is what most people pray for their whole lives. We have had our ups and downs but I know in my mind and soul and heart, that you are the woman I want for the rest of my life. Your smile, your beauty, your intelligence, the way you make me laugh, the crazy things you inspire me to do, the way you burn my pancakes in the morning…you, baby, everything about you makes life worthwhile. Everything good I have is good because I have you to share it with. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I want to make it official. I want the whole world to know just how I feel about you. I know I screwed this up the last time but I hope this time the presentation or at least the effort gets me out of the doghouse. So here goes…"

He went to bend down on one knee, squeaking and clanking as he did.

"Don't hurt yourself, Sir Lucas", Jamie quipped.

"Shit", he muttered, finally finding the little black box. He opened it and all gasped. It was a platinum band encircled with dozens of tiny emeralds and a 9 carat rock placed in the middle.

"Broody…"

"Brooke…marry me."

She couldn't speak. A flood of tears washed over her pretty face.

"Lucas Eugene Scott…"

"Just say you want forever, too. Say you'll be my wife."

She only nodded to thundering applause as he placed the ring on her finger. She had to help pull him up in his awkward attire so he wouldn't fall down.

"My very own Tin Man", she laughed through tears. "Lucas, what is going on?"

"I screwed up before, Brooke. You deserved a real proposal from the heart with surprise and romance and an actual ring. I know I hurt you the way I asked because you thought I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm a guy and I'm clueless but that's all I'm guilty of…of course I wanted to marry you. You mean everything to me."

"All this? The jesters and the horses and…"

"Remember what you said? As a little girl you wanted the knight in shining armor to come whisk you away and rescue you? Well, here I am, Princess Brooke, at your service. You said you wanted the fairytale…so here it is."

"Oh Lucas…"

"See babe? There's nothing wrong with just believing."

By then there wasn't a dry eye in the place.

"I love you, you know that? You are like the best boyfriend, wait, I take that back, fiancé like ever! Even though this is the wackiest, goofiest, corniest, cheesiest thing ever…I love it! It's the coolest thing that's ever happened to me and I love you for doing it."

"I wanted to make it memorable and special."

"Uh, trust me…I won't be forgetting this and um, I am kind of digging the whole knight getup you've got going on so bring that home later and it will be an evening you won't soon forget, Broody", she winked suggestively.

He grinned and grabbed and kissed her, pulling away only to curse as he had trouble adjusting his balls in his armor.

"I love you, Brooke."

"I love you, too", she kissed him. "Now get out of here…I think a cop is giving your horse a ticket."


	192. The Search For Something More

The private car was waiting at LaGuardia airport to whisk Nathan back to the apartment. It had been a hectic week of traveling but one that had proved to be productive. Things were definitely looking up and he was feeling good. He was even proud of his Esquire spread. Nathan Scott was getting his life back and doing it on his terms.

He reached for a bottle of Snapple and relaxed on the comfortable leather seat. Hopefully Lucas would be at the loft when he got there. He had such good news and he had wanted to share it with his big brother in person. Then his cell phone rang. Nathan glanced at the Caller ID and smiled as he accepted the call.

"Hey", he answered.

"Nate, honey, how are you?"

"Fine, Mom. What's going on?"

"I called you a few times and left a message. I figured you were busy but I was worried just the same."

"Yeah, I was swamped."

"So…how did it go?"

He took a deep breath and grinned.

"I can sign with the Washington Wizards on a four year deal for 40 million, or go with the New Jersey Nets, 5 years, 30 million."

"Oh Nathan, that's wonderful…"

"And that's not all, Mom. I was fully reinstated in the NBA."

"No conditions or provisions?"

"Yeah…they wanted me to take an anger management course and attend AA meetings."

Deb smiled.

"And what did they say when you told them you've already been doing that?"

"They were shocked. Surprised but pleased. I mean, I'm not totally off the hook. This is a total probationary type thing and I know if I screw up then I'm out on my ass."

"You know what that means then?"

"Yeah…don't screw up."

"Exactly."

"I don't intend to, Mom. Believe me. This is my second shot. Not too many people get them. I know I have to make the best of it. I'm serious about making all this work. I don't want to let anyone else down again…or myself."

"I'm proud of you, Nathan. I mean that. I'm so happy things turned out well. And the Esquire layout seemed to go over really well."

"I guess it did."

"So", she said. "Have you talked to your agents and managers yet? Which deal are you going to take?"

Nathan sighed.

"They're both really good. I mean, the money is good or whatever but that's not what I'm worried about now. I gave it some thought and I'll call the Nets franchise tomorrow. We'll probably do a press conference later on this week."

"Good decision. You should even be able to keep your apartment in New York."

"Yeah. I still might buy a house out in Jersey somewhere but for now I'm pretty content where I am."

"At least you're close to Lillian."

"That was the main reason for my decision. Mom, she's getting so big. And I just love spending time with her. It's awesome. I missed her so much this past week. It's like every time I see her, she's doing something new. It's really cool. I know I'll be traveling a lot but when I'm not on the road, I want to be with her as much as possible. I mean that. First words and first steps and her learning to ride a bike and going off to school…I want to be there for all of that. I don't want to miss a thing."

"Well, it sounds like my precious little granddaughter is a very lucky girl."

"Nah. I'm the lucky one."

"I'm glad you'll be there for Lillian. But what about Haley?"

Nathan took a deep breath.

"I don't know, Mom. Who knows what the future holds? I mean, she knows how I feel. I told her that day on the beach and I'm sure she's read about it like everybody else. What else can I do? I know where she stands and maybe it isn't the answer I want to hear right now, but I respect it. What other choice do I really have?"

"Sweetie, sometimes things are just meant to be. Do you get that?"

"Like fate?"

Deb thought for a minute.

"Yeah…like fate. And we can't foresee it and we don't have control over it. That's what destiny is. Sometimes it's for the good and sometimes it's for the bad. Either way, what's supposed to happen will happen. That's what I believe."

"Haley and me will always be in each other's lives. So you think it's already been determined how that will play out? Like if we do end up back together or not?"

"Yes. And if you do, then that's great because I feel that's where you belong. But if it doesn't happen, don't force it. Sometimes you don't get everything you want, Nathan."

"I know. Trust me, I know. I've learned that one the hard way."

"You're not the only one", she muttered.

"What?"

Deb sighed heavily. It was time to tell her son the truth. It was time to reveal the primary reason behind her phone calls.

"Nathan, honey, there is something I have to tell you…"

"What's up? Are you okay?"

"Yes but this is very important. I don't know how you're going to take it or how you're going to feel about it."

"Mom…"

"This might hurt. It might cause you to be disappointed in me. I just don't want you to be angry."

"What is it? Just tell me."

"I…I left the beach house. I moved back in with your father."

Nathan closed his eyes.

"Why?" he finally asked.

"Because I love him. Because a part of me remembers how great it used to be and maybe I dare to think one day we'll have that again."

"Let me guess…he came over and poured on the charm, huh?"

"Dan Scott does have a way with words."

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Mom."

"Are you mad?"

"No."

"Disappointed?"

"No. It's none of that. I'm just worried. You deserve better. I want you to be happy. I love you. I don't want you to waste your life away and look back in 20 or 30 years from now and wonder why you chose to be miserable all this time?"

"I'm okay, Nate."

"Are you?"

"I will be. Remember what I said about fate and not controlling destiny?"

"Yeah but…"

"And how some things are just the way they are, good or bad?"

"I know…"

"That's how it is with your father and me. I'm not a stupid woman. I know he puts on the nice act to get what he wants."

"Then why'd you fall for it? He just probably doesn't want to be alone."

"Neither do I, Nate. Neither do I."

Nathan just shook his head. Her mind was made up. It was done.

"Okay, Mom."

"Just okay?"

"What do you want me to say? It's your life. You're a grown woman. I'm scared for you and I might not agree with it but I'm still gonna be here for you. That won't ever change."

"Thank you", she smiled. "That means a lot to me."

"I hope he does change. I hope it does work out for you guys. I won't hold my breath for it but I hope for it just the same. What can I say? All I know is getting my life back on track without his meddling and making my own decisions and jump starting my career without his connections felt really good."

"I'm sure it did."

Nathan looked out the window. They were pulling up to his address.

"I've got to go, Mom. I'm home now. I want to catch Luke before he leaves and I have a lot of crap to do."

"Okay, sweetie. Take care."

"Yeah…you too."

"Nate, one more thing…"

"What's that?"

"I need for you to promise me something."

"What?"

"Promise me you'll talk to Haley again…today. I know you guys already have but things are different now. Just, just give it another shot."

"Why?"

She played with the phone cord between her fingers as Dan walked in and gave her a smile and a nod.

"Because", she finally spoke. "I want you to have the kind of happiness neither one of us has had in a long time. We were always searching for something more, my boy, but maybe what we needed was right in front of our eyes the whole time."

Nathan just nodded. He couldn't respond as he got out of the car and began unloading his bags. A few stray paparazzi were across the street clicking away at him. He looked away and turned his attention to the building in front of him. Maybe his mother was right. Maybe his search stopped there.


	193. Meet The Kellers

Elmo was a godsend! Lillian had been acting up all day. Haley had never remembered a time when the child was so fussy. And of all times when her creative juices were starting to flow again. She grabbed a notebook and a pen and began jotting down random lyrics for a new song she might like to record. But her daughter wasn't having any of it. Nothing had seemed to calm the child until Sesame Street came on. Like magic, as soon as the little ears heard the familiar theme song, she ceased all tantrums and tears. Haley was relieved. Finally peace in the valley. That is, until a key turned in the front lock.

"Hey sis."

"Hey, Taylor…or maybe I should say Mrs. Keller. What do you prefer these days?"

Taylor grinned and shrugged.

"Oh that."

"You two still married?"

"Yeah", she said casually.

"And how long is this one going to last?"

"I don't know."

"Taylor!"

"What?"

"Listen, if you're going to get an annulment, you may as well hurry up and do it. No sense in prolonging the pain."

Taylor played with her hair.

"Oh yeah…about that…"

"Tay…"

"I don't know. I've been doing some thinking and Chris and I talked and…well, maybe an annulment isn't the best option right now."

"You mean divorce?"

Taylor made a face.

"No. Not that either."

"Then what?"

"We were thinking about leaving things like they are, you know, a trial run or whatever they call it."

Haley threw her hands up in the air.

"Taylor, are you nuts? You can't be married to Chris!"

"But I already am."

"Yeah because you two got piss drunk in Vegas. Gosh, what were you thinking?"

"We weren't."

"Exactly. That's what got you into this mess."

"And who says it's a mess?"

"It is. Taylor, this isn't a game. It's real life. It's your life. Marriage is beautiful and permanent and sacred. It's not something to be taken lightly."

Taylor just shook her head.

"Who are you preaching to, Haley bub? Me or yourself? Because it sounds like you should have thought about all that years ago."

Haley bit her lip and looked away. Bitter tears made her eyes sting.

"Yeah", she said softly. "Maybe you're right."

Taylor could see the wave of sadness wash over her baby sister's face. She instantly felt bad.

"Sorry. Look, I didn't mean it like that…"

"No, it's okay."

"It's not okay", Taylor sat down and took Haley's hand. "I was being a bitch and I'm sorry. What's new, right? Talk to me."

Haley wiped her eyes.

"I just want you to be okay. I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. I don't want to see you get hurt or make stupid decisions on a whim. I want you to be okay, Taylor. I want you to be happy."

"I am", she said in a carefree tone.

Haley rolled her eyes.

"That attitude right there is what makes me want to strangle you sometimes. Everything is so carefree and casual with you. But then again, look at my life. Look at my track record. Who am I to judge or lecture? Besides, when it counted with Lillian, you were there. You were pretty damned responsible when I couldn't be."

"I know you love me. I know you're just looking out for me. I love you, too, Hay, but I'm gonna be okay. Look at all the stuff I've gotten into over the years. Compared to some of my other stunts, waking up hungover and married to Chris Keller is cake, a walk in the park."

"Are you guys like in love?"

"I don't know", Taylor smiled. "He's cool. He's kind of grown on me. He makes me happy and we have fun and we have a lot in common."

"Maybe so but don't you think a few dates would have sufficed? Did you really have to go out and get married?"

"No and it was kind of an accident but it's done now. Hey, no use in crying over spilled milk now, right? He's my Greg and I guess I'm his Dharma. You remember that TV show?"

Haley smiled as she rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Taylor. I remember that show. So I take it you guys are gonna give it a go?"

"Yeah. Which leads me to why I'm here. I came to get some of my stuff. I'm sort of new to this whole hubby and wife deal but I take it we're supposed to actually live together."

"Yeah, that's usually the plan."

"So I guess I'm out of your hair for now. I guess this is it."

"I guess so."

"It's been fun", Taylor observed.

"It had its moments."

"You and Jamma gonna be okay without me?"

"You're just a few blocks away. We'll manage."

"Good", Taylor grinned, going to her old room to pack up a few things. "I was worried. Didn't want you to be too pissed off. I know as a tenant I'm supposed to give 30 days notice and stuff but…"

"Tay, tenants actually pay rent."

"Oh…well, I guess I'm off the hook then. That's a relief."

Haley just smiled and shook her head.

"I guess congratulations are in order."

"You mean that?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. I hope you guys make it. I hope it works out."

A satisfied Taylor skipped off to the back leaving Haley and Lillian to Sesame Street before a knock at the door. He didn't bother to be asked in.

"Hey, it was already open…"

"I know", Haley said.

"You really should lock your doors", Chris grinned. "Some incredibly skinny but handsome dude with a guitar on his back could just walk right in."

Haley nodded.

"Locked doors never stopped you before. Besides, as yucky as it sounds, we are family now."

"I never thought about that", he shrugged. "Can I call you sis?"

"Not if you expect me to answer", Haley laughed.

"It was worth a shot", Chris smiled. "Listen Haley, I know this is crazy and kind of sudden. Sorry for springing it on you but I get the feeling this just might work out with Taylor and me."

"I hope it does."

"Thanks", he said. "I'm just glad you're not mad."

"Oh I was furious at first but I got over it. It's not really my business, is it? Just try to work it out. Take care of each other. Split the bills, wash dishes together, you know, the normal stuff."

"Yes, ma'am."

"And buy her a ring for God's sake."

"Oh we're not going the traditional route. In fact, a buddy of mine is coming over tonight to tattoo our love on our fingers."

"What am I gonna do with you two? I shouldn't be worried. You two loons were made for each other."

Haley couldn't help but laugh as Chris reached out and pulled her in for a big hug. They had already been through so much together. This was just another step in their journey."

"I love you, Haley. Always remember that, girl. I love you."

The front door was halfway open and quietly Nathan stood watching the tail end of their interaction. He didn't care that Chris had married Taylor. All he knew was what he was seeing. Chris and Haley were in each other's arms…again.

"I love you too, Chris."


	194. Overdue

A dejected Nathan turned the key in his apartment. His mood had been on the highest plateau when his flight had arrived in New York. He had so much to be happy for. Then his mother had called and his worry for her had put a slight damper on things. But the thought of marching up to Haley's door and one last time laying his heart on the line was enough to somehow restore his jubilation…or at least make him nervous enough to want to throw up.

But it had been ruined in an instant. There she was all hugged up with Chris. He didn't know for sure if anything was going on but it didn't matter. That was beside the point. Just seeing them like that was enough. It was enough to bring up old memories and bitter feelings. It was enough to remind him why things had gone so sour in the first place.

"Superstar!" Brooke squealed, jumping into his arms.

Nathan frowned. He wasn't used to such an excited greeting.

"Hello to you, too", he mumbled.

"I am so glad you're back. Broody and I are almost finished packing up. I was afraid we'd miss you."

"Here I am", he sighed.

"Good…would you mind helping me with this box?"

Nathan raised an eyebrow. The box, contents and all, had to weigh less than two pounds.

"Okay…whatever."

He didn't notice the deliberate and dramatic way she kept trying to flaunt her left hand..

"Wow", she said, dabbing at her face with once again her left hand. "That was exhausting."

"Uh…yeah. Well, let me go see my brother before you have any other strenuous chores for me to do", he quipped.

Brooke stamped her feet and pouted.

"Why are boys always so damned clueless? I am not exhausted and I did not need help with that stupid box. I wanted you to see my new engagement ring!"

"Engagement?"

"Yes", Brooke giggled. "Broody finally proposed. Can you believe it? It was so romantic. He was a knight and he had horses and jesters and ladies in waiting…"

"Sounds original", Nathan chuckled.

"And check out my rock! Not too shabby, eh?"

"It's great, Brooke. Congratulations."

She threw her arms around him again.

"You do know this means we will be related and from here on out you are officially stuck with me", she announced proudly.

He didn't want to bust her bubble on the account that he was so miserable inside. Besides, she wasn't so bad and more importantly she made his brother happy.

"Yay!" he threw his hands up and did a little Ashley Simpson hoedown just to tease her.

"Smart ass", she swatted at him. "I'm gonna go finish up in the back and give you and Lucas a chance to say good bye."

"Thanks, Brooke."

"You are so welcome."

"No…I mean for everything. For putting your life on hold just to be here. It meant a lot. I haven't been the easiest guy to get along with this past year. Thanks for sticking by me. I appreciate it."

"You got it, Brother", she winked. "Oh and by the way, in my own excitement, I forgot to ask about you. Are we now employed?"

She crossed her fingers.

"Employed", he sighed.

"Alright! Way to go, Boytoy! I'm proud of you", she said as she disappeared into the bedroom.

Lucas came out a few seconds later.

"What's up, bro?"

"I should be asking you that. I'm gone for a week and you're already taking the big plunge?"

Lucas grinned.

"What can I say, dude? It's the right time and she is definitely the right girl."

"Well, congratulations."

"Thanks. What about on your end? How did everything go?"

"I am officially reinstated and I got an offer from New Jersey and Washington."

"That's great, Nathan! Oh man! That's like the best possible news! It's huge! I knew it would work out. You get to keep this place and Brooke and I are only a hop, skip, and a jump away. And the Nets franchise is pretty cool. I think you'll like it. The state itself isn't the freshest smelling but uh, you'll be living here in New York anyway and the fans are great!"

Nathan looked down.

"I'm gonna play for the Wizards."

Lucas frowned.

"What?"

"You heard me, man. I'm going to D.C."

"Yeah, I heard you. I was just making sure I heard right. Washington, huh? Is it more money?"

"It's not about the money."

"Then why are you going? Jersey is perfect! You can be close to Lillian."

"Washington isn't far. I can still be there for my kid, Luke."

"I don't doubt that but the Nets seem so much more convenient. And I thought you and Hales…"

"What about us?"

"Whoa. Don't get so defensive. I just thought you guys were maybe on the verge of working some stuff out."

"I don't think so", he shook his head. "Face it. Who are we kidding? It's done."

"Nate…"

"I just saw her hugging Chris."

"So?"

"So? Lucas…"

"Isn't he married to Taylor?"

"This week? Who the hell knows? It doesn't matter."

"Nothing is going on, Nathan. How many times does Haley have to tell you? How many wrong conclusions do you have to jump to before it sinks in?"

"I don't care if they're not together. I just hate him being around. I hate that kid…period. I should have beat his ass a long time ago."

"What good would that have done?"

"It would have made me feel pretty damned good. And maybe he'd think twice about always being around or trying to play step daddy to my daughter."

"He's Haley's friend…and now her brother in law."

"Exactly. Therefore, he will always be around. I can't handle that. I'm not putting up with it."

"You can't change it."

"You're right but I can distance myself from the situation."

"What about your little girl?"

"I love Lil. She's number one to me. I'll always be there for her no matter what my zip code is."

"And Haley?"

"What about Haley?"

"She's the love of your life. You said it yourself. Everyone knows you're crazy about her. You're just going to walk away on getting your family back?"

"Some things aren't meant to be."

"And some are."

"Maybe not this, Luke. Look, I have tried and tried…"

"Don't give up! Try harder!"

"I have. But I'm tired and I'm done. Little brother is throwing in the towel. It isn't worth it anymore."

"Are you listening to yourself? It's like praying every night to God that you'll win the lottery but never buying a damned lottery ticket. It's called helping yourself, Nathan."

"Haley and I are just different. Okay? We are and so are our lives. That's just the way it is. I accept that. I don't know if something happened between her and Chris ever but regardless, I do know this is all his fault. So in the meantime I choose not to play nice and act like everything is cool. Because it isn't. Fuck that punk."

"Nate…"

"What? I wish his bony ass was standing right in front of me right now so I could punch his lights out."

Lucas sighed as the slightly ajar door was pushed open. Nathan turned and his face immediately darkened, fists clinching. Lucas instantly jumped between them. This confrontation had been years in the making.

"Ask and ye shall receive", Chris stated.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nathan grumbled.

"I came to see you. I came to do something I should have done eight years ago so I guess we're long overdue. It's time, Scott, that you and I had a little chit chat."


	195. The Unlikely Voice of Reason

**_Author's Note: OTHforever03, thanks for the review. This is for all fans of the show and characters to enjoy but for an "old head" like me, it is particularly nice to get reviews from shall I say, more mature readers, lol._**

**_Mora, babe, what the heck? Where are you?_**

Steam was literally pouring out of Nathan's ears. Lucas hadn't seen him that worked up in a long time.

"Nate, calm down, man. Chris, I don't think you need to be here right now."

Chris smirked.

"I beg to differ. This is something that should have been handled a long time ago. No time like the present."

Nathan smiled a sinister smile.

"You heard the man, Luke."

"Dude, I am not leaving you two alone."

"We're big boys, Saint Luke", Chris dug. "Nate here can handle himself. We don't need a babysitter. What, do you hold his dick for him when he pisses?"

"Look…" Lucas lunged for him.

Now it was Nathan's turn to hold him back.

"It's okay, man. I can take care of this."

Lucas backed away, still unsure.

"Alright but I'll be in the other room if you need me."

He walked off leaving two longtime rivals alone and face to face.

"This is oddly familiar", Chris observed. "Kind of brings back memories, don't you think? Mind if I have a seat?"

"Actually, I do. What the hell do you want, man? Say your peace and you've got one minute to do so before I decide upon kicking the living shit out of you."

"Well, when you put it in those terms, I guess I better hurry it up. Look, I don't know why I came down here and I was just about to leave when I heard you through the door. There's some stuff that I have to say to you."

Nathan looked coolly at his watch.

"44…43…42…the seconds are ticking, man…"

"Relax. You're making this harder than it has to be", he touched Nathan's folded arms.

"Touch me again and you'll be singing your loser rock with your jaw wired shut."

"This isn't gonna work if you're pissed off."

"You think this is some kind of goddamned joke? Because even though you've been laughing going on eight years now, I don't think it's funny."

"Look…"

"I don't want to hear it. You come down here with your swagger and your comments. I'm not impressed by any of it, dude. You think I give a flying fuck about how many records you've sold? All you do is get off by messing with people's lives."

"Messing with people's lives?" Chris repeated. "Oh I get it. You must mean me repeatedly banging your wife over the last eight years."

"You better watch it, punk", Nathan snarled.

Chris shook his head.

"Sorry to disappoint you but we didn't. It never happened…ever. I'm sure she's told you that now I am. How many times do you need to hear it?"

"Whatever", Nathan eyed him coldly.

"Listen, I don't know what's going to happen now. I can't predict the future. But you are Jamma's father. I know you've had a few problems but I hope you're gonna be okay…for her sake and for Haley's."

"Don't take it there with me. You have no right."

"That's where you're wrong. I do have a right. Haley is my friend. She's a huge part of my life and so is Jamma. With you back in the picture, everything you do from here on out affects them."

"You're a goddamn psychiatrist now? You think I don't know that?"

"I don't know because it looks like you were a little lost over the years…"

"Gee and whose fault is that?" Nathan asked sarcastically.

"Mine or at least that's what you think. You're entitled to your own opinion but here is a little bit of truth. I've thought about you over the years…a lot."

"Shut up, fag."

Chris laughed.

"Not in that way, douche bag. You know what I mean. I'm a song writer. Crap like that? I carry it with me."

"Then you should know how it was for me. You want to hear me say it? It was fucking horrible!"

"I know. I mean, I can imagine. Haley is great. It would suck to lose someone like her."

"All thanks to your dumb ass but I don't expect you to feel bad or guilty or anything."

"Good because I don't. Know why? What we did with our careers was a million to one shot, man. How many artists or writers or actors or singers are out there right now talented as hell but they'll never get their shot? I had to be selfish, we had to be selfish. It's all or nothing, man."

"Just shut up."

"You don't think I tried to talk to her? So many nights on that bus on the first tour going from city to city. We talked about everything…which is more than I can say for your ass."

"She was my wife. Not a friend, not a girlfriend, not some random chick I was nailing…Haley was my wife. Don't you get that?"

"I know that. I know you loved her. But she had a dream. Can you really blame me for helping her chase it?"

"But you kissed her."

"Yeah, I did. Stupid? Yes. Wrong? Yes. Hell, I don't have an excuse besides being young and dumb. It was a mistake. I won't lie. I did want her. Who wouldn't? Haley is an incredible woman. So, I was jealous of you and what you had. Big deal. I did try to take it but she didn't want me."

"She kissed you back."

"That was a long time ago and she was confused. But through it all, the music and the tours and the friendship and the constantly being together…we never took it any further. Haley didn't want to kiss me. She didn't want me at all. She wanted you. She only wanted you and the music. You were just too pigheaded to see it her way."

"How righteous of you", Nathan rolled his eyes. "Great speech, Keller. Really. You want a hand? A cookie, maybe? What, am I suppose to light a cigar and slap you on the back while we barbecue and watch the game together? Not gonna happen. We aren't friends and I don't owe you shit."

"That's where you're wrong again, pretty boy. You owe me more than you think, certainly more than you'll ever fess up to. All these years I loved Haley and I watched out for her and took care of her. Her best interests were always my top priority. I never let anyone take advantage of her. I was a real friend. When you sent those annulment papers, I was the one there for her. After the Dominican, it was my shoulder she cried on. When she was damn near suicidal during her pregnancy, I made sure she ate right and got to her appointments on time. And when she couldn't be a mother to Jamma, I stepped up and played Mommy, Daddy, Big Brother, Best Friend and God all in one. So next time you're on your high horse bashing me at the Nathan Scott Woe Is Me Pity Party, think about that for a little while and marinate on it."

Chris turned to leave but Nathan wasn't finished yet.

"I saw you hugging her a few minutes ago."

"So what? Who cares?"

"I do."

"Dude, what is your deal? It was just a hug."

"Whatever…"

"Not that I owe you an explanation but do you want to know why I was up there in the first place? I was helping my new wife, you know, Haley's sister, Taylor, get her things."

"Taylor's moving in with you?"

"Duh. They say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Well, it seems in my drunken stupor I bought the cow so I may as well get my money's worth. And by the way, that milk is the bomb! But I hear you already know that", Chris teased. "That should make us even. All these years you thought I slept with your wife and that wasn't the case but lo and behold, it was my wife that deflowered you. Small world, I guess."

Nathan shook his head.

"This doesn't change anything. You wasted your time by coming here. You and Haley are friends now you're related. Your ass will be over all the time now. I still can't stand you."

"Ah, I get it", Chris nodded. "Shame on me. You know, I read that little interview of yours in Esquire and you had me on the first page, dude. I thought you had changed, grown up a little. But I see…nothing has changed. You're still the same whining, selfish, spoiled prick you were eight years ago."

"You've got two seconds to get out of my sight or God have mercy on your bitch ass."

"You want to beat me up? Fine. Whatever Nathan. If that will make you feel better or if it'll make you come to your senses then go ahead. I'll step up and be the sacrificial lamb. But you know I'm right. I heard you tell Lucas you were going to turn down New Jersey. Why? Because of an innocent hug? Because you're still pouting? Dude, come on! Get a grip. Take some Midol. You say you love Jamma? You want to be a good dad? Prove it. Be there for her. Be close to her. I'm sure you'll be busy flying all over the country shooting your little hoopies but on those off days wouldn't it be better to be just an elevator ride away instead of three or four states?"

"Look…"

"You're a fool, Nathan. A damn fool if you don't open your eyes and pull your head out of your ass. Jamma is your daughter. Just that in itself makes you a lucky man. And Haley loves you. She never stopped. I was there when you weren't and I saw things you didn't see. I saw her missing you and longing for you and not moving on because she couldn't get over you. The music made her happy but something else was missing. If you two like being miserable the last eight years, go ahead and be my guest and sign up for another eight. But if you're ready to be happy, only you can change that. Go upstairs right now and claim your girl…both of them."

Nathan was speechless.

"Chris…"

"I've got to go. The old ball and chain awaits me but don't worry. I'll be seeing you around soon…brother", he winked.

He left with his guitar and a smirk. Nathan fell back on the couch trying to take it all in.

"You two can come out now!" he called out. "Luke, Brooke, I know you were listening."

Lucas tried to casually play it off but Brooke was less incognito.

"You said it, Boytoy, the walls are super, super thin here. Wow, that was unexpected. How do you feel?"

"How do you think I feel?"

Lucas sighed.

"Chris Keller made a hell of a lot of sense. I never thought those words would have come out of my mouth. I honestly hate to admit it."

Nathan shook his head and stared at the floor.

"Yeah…but not half as much as I hate to."


	196. Don't Say I Never Gave You Anything

**_Author's Note: So Jen, you want an invitation, huh? Hhhhmmmm...I'll think about it. Exactly how old are you? If you had a Care Bear and Cabbage Patch AND a Garbage Pail kid growing up and you can remember episodes of Different Strokes and Family Ties before the syndication days, give me a shout on the e-mail, lol..._**

**_I can smile now...Mora AND Carys have returned. All is right in "Malissa Land" now!_**

"_Rock a bye baby,_

_On the treetop,_

_When the wind blows,_

_The cradle will rock,_

_When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,_

_And down will come baby, cradle and all."_

Haley sighed as Lillian finally seemed to be settled in her baby bed. After Taylor and Chris had left and Sesame Street had ended, it had been a nightmare in the James' household. It had taken a couple of hours but after a few lullabies, the tired child had cried herself out. Now Haley was all alone…until the knock on the door, that is.

"Taylor, if you forgot your key again…"

She opened it and it wasn't her sister.

"Hey", he said.

"Nathan…hi…um, what are you doing here?"

He wanted to say something, tell her everything but it was so hard. So he did the only thing he knew to do. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in and kissed her hard.

"Hales, we have to talk", he finally pulled away.

She was panting and breathless, suddenly embarrassed that her hair hadn't seen a comb and that dried baby puke stained her shirt.

"Um, okaaayyy…Nathan, what is going on?"

"Chris just left my apartment."

Her eyes narrowed.

"Oh God, is he dead?"

Nathan couldn't help but chuckle.

"Actually no. The punk ass talked and I listened to what he had to say and it put a lot into perspective."

"Chris? Chris Keller?"

"Yes. And if you tell anyone I think he made sense, I will deny, deny, deny."

"Nathan…"

"Did you read Esquire?"

She nodded.

"Yeah."

"That came from my heart. It was real and honest and…"

"I know", she said softly.

"Everything I said in there, I meant."

"I know that, too."

"I love you, Haley."

"And I love you but…"

Nathan stood up.

"No. Why does there have to be a but? Why can't we just love each other and go on from there?"

She put her head in her hands.

"Because I'm scared. Scared for you and for me and for Lillian…"

"I'm scared too but I don't care anymore. Right now the only thing scarier than being with you and Lil is being without you. That tears me up, Haley. I lost you once…I can't do that again."

"Nathan…"

"Don't you get it? We're meant to be. No matter how much time or what happens, we are supposed to be together. It's our destiny. All the shit we went through that tore us apart and we still ended up here with a baby even. What other sign do we need?"

"Listen to me…"

"No. You listen to me. Please. I want you. You are the love of my life. I have needed anyone or anything like I need you right now. My heart physically aches for you, Haley and it has been for eight years. I'm saying to you now what I should have said back then. What I should have done the night you got on the bus or all the nights after when you called me. I don't care about ego or pride or Chris Keller or music or any of that now. All that matters is you and me together with our daughter."

A tear slid down her face. He wiped it away with his thumb.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" she whispered. "I mean that. You have to know, Nathan. And I don't even know how to express it to you because there are no words. Everything I have…the money, the awards, the fans, the success…it never meant as much because you and I didn't share it together. I love my life and I'm proud of what I have done but if I could turn back time, I never would have gotten on that bus…not if it meant losing you. Because at the end of the day, it isn't worth it. All the riches and fame and accomplishments in the world don't amount to a hill of beans. This right here…the overflowing dirty diaper pail and the sleepless nights and…looking into your eyes. That's what means the most."

Nathan was afraid to breathe.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

She took a deep breath.

"I'm saying I can't imagine my life without you."

He nodded.

"Neither can I but I can't be just your friend, Hales. I'm sorry. Maybe that's selfish but it's just the way I feel. We'll always be in each other's lives because of Lillian but if you think for a second I'm cool with just being your buddy then you're wrong. Because I'm in love with you. I'm tired of fighting how I feel when I love you so much I can't even see straight. I'm serious about this, Hales. About everything. I'm getting my life back in order and I want you in it. I need you and Lillian. I'm back in the NBA and I'm gonna play right down the road in Jersey. We're gonna be together again…just like a real family."

"Nathan", she cried out.

"Yeah?"

"Hold me."

Her voice was so soft he could barely hear her but he had been waiting for her to say those words for eight years. He enveloped her and it felt so good he trembled. Feeling her warmth and the beat of her heart at that one moment made up for every tear he's ever cried. She was back where she belonged. They were a team and he didn't plan on losing her again.

"I love you", he kept saying over and over again.

She cupped his handsome face and smiled through her tears. God, he was just as beautiful as she remembered if not more. She pulled him towards her and her lips fell on his. He parted them and their soft tongues enjoyed a beautiful uninterrupted slow dance.

"Oh my God", she pulled away, giggling uncontrollably.

Nathan raised an eyebrow.

"Uh, I wasn't exactly expecting laughter. What's going on?"

She blushed.

"That was good…like so much better than I remembered."

"Thanks", he grinned.

"I mean it. Little birds are chirping in my ears and I can't breathe and I'm seeing stars and even Snow White is dancing around."

"What can I say?" he joked. "I see I haven't lost my touch."

She hit him with the pillow.

"Watch it, Mister. I see you haven't lost your arrogance either."

"I prefer confidence."

"Whatever", she stuck her tongue out at him.

"There's one more thing I didn't lose", he said in a serious tone.

"Nate…"

"This."

He pulled it out of his pocket and held it up in front of her. She gasped, the color draining from her pretty face.

"Nathan! Oh my God! Where did you…"

"I kept it", he smiled.

"After all these years?"

"Yeah, you…you left it that night."

Haley closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm glad you did, I guess. So many times I wanted to throw it out but I couldn't. It reminded me of how much I loved you. And even when it got really tough and I was really pissed, I would remember that day at the docks."

"I never forgot", she said. "And don't think for a minute that I did."

He nodded as he put his larger palm to her smaller one. The Cracker Jack bracelet was stretched and placed on both their hands, then he slowly slid his south so that it fell into perfect place on her wrist. It was back where it belonged.

"There you go", he said. "Don't say I never gave you anything."


	197. Finding Your Way Back

"I have a question for Head Coach, Lawrence Frank, what are your anticipations as well as expectations for this season, considering the professional and personal controversies of Nathan Scott."

Coach Frank looked over at Nathan as the still cameras clicked and flashed.

"We as a team and a franchise and a family are excited. Nathan Scott is a phenomenal player. I am looking forward to coaching him. I expect the same thing from him that I do of all my players…dedication, teamwork, respect for others and self and lots of hard work. I have no doubt that we are going to enjoy a productive and successful season."

Another reporter stood.

"Mr. Scott, your on and off court problems were widely speculated on last year. Do you have anything to add about that and would you like to comment on future endeavors."

Nathan cleared his throat. He was nervous but Lucas and Brooke were smiling from the small press conference audience. And most importantly, Haley was there.

"Um, I've made a lot of mistakes. I guess we all do. I can't apologize enough but I've tried my best to make something good out of the wreckage. There's not really more that I care to comment on. That's why I went on record with Esquire magazine. I said all I needed to say then. As far as the future, I see nothing but good things ahead. I thank Coach and the owner and my new teammates for this opportunity. I'm looking forward to a winning season."

"Anything else you'd like to add, Nathan?"

He thought for a moment and smiled.

"I just want everyone to know that I'm ready…and I don't plan on letting you down this time."

"This concludes our press conference", the commissioner spoke.

It ended with flowing champagne and the Jersey ball cap being placed on Nathan's head. He smiled as Lucas and Brooke joined him, posing for photos as he sipped on bottled water.

"Hey, Nathan, we noticed that Haley is here. Any new updates you want to share?"

"No personal questions", the coach quickly intervened.

Months before that would have been the exact type of thing to set Nathan off. But things had changed. He had changed.

"They say a picture is worth a thousand words, right?" he asked. "Well, here's one for the masses."

With that, he pulled Haley close for their first public kiss. She reciprocated but blushed and giggled, quickly turning away.

"Nathan, we can't do this here", she whispered.

"Fine", he grinned. "I'll kiss you later."

They finished finally and let the media clear out until it was only the four of them left amongst the confetti, fallen streamers and balloons.

"How do you feel, bro?" Lucas asked.

"Like a million bucks", Nathan sighed.

"Try 30", Brooke winked. "But uh…who's counting, right, Superstar?"

"Apparently you."

Brooke laughed and put up a mock microphone to his lips.

"Nathan Scott, you just signed a lucrative deal with the New Jersey Nets. Congratulations and please tell us, what are your plans now?" she asked in her best commentator voice. "Going to Disney World?"

"Maybe later", he shrugged. "For now I guess I'm going out to dinner with you losers."

"Actually, you're not", Lucas said.

"We're not?" Haley frowned.

"Oh no. Courtesy of Broody's help combined with my sheer genius, a limousine is waiting to whisk you two away to the penthouse suite of the St. Regis hotel…here is your key…where room service will be there to cater to your every need, not that food will be on your mind."

"What about Lillian?" Haley folded her arms.

"Leave Jamarah to Broody and me…after all, we need the practice."

Nathan and Haley's eyes widened.

"You…oh God…you two, you're having a baby?"

Brooke squealed.

"Even better. We're getting a dog! A little Maltese. You should see her! She is so cute and I am going to dress her up and out bows in her hair and put her in my Louis Vuitton purse and…"

"Easy, Brooke", Nathan laughed.

"What?" Luke shrugged. "We have to start somewhere. Baby steps, brother. Now you two get on out of here and try to enjoy your evening."

Nathan and Haley looked at each other and shrugged. He extended his hand and she took it as he led them to the car. They climbed inside but neither spoke a word the entire drive. The mood was overall light but there was still some nervous tension, especially when their hands brushed together. Finally the car pulled up to the address and a personal attendant greeted them and showed them to their room on the top floor. They smiled as they stood outside of it.

"I feel like I should be carrying you over the threshold or something", he joked.

"It's not our wedding but…I'll let you give me a piggy back ride, you know, for old time's sake."

"Fair enough", he laughed as she jumped on his back.

Nathan opened the door and both stopped as they saw the flower petals on the floor and the place had a romantic, soft glow thanks to all the burning scented candles.

"Oh my God", Haley put her hand over her heart.

"Looks like Luke and Brooke went all out", Nathan observed.

"This is so perfect", she whispered as she grabbed his hand.

At the same time their eyes gravitated towards the bed. Nathan's heart began to pound.

"Listen, we don't have to do anything, alright? That's not why I'm here. Hales, we have plenty of time for all that physical stuff later…"

Haley laughed out loud.

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

She pushed him against the wall and began slowly undressing him. As each article of clothing was removed, her lips would place a kiss where it once was. He shuddered with every touch. Finally he was naked. Naked and speechless. She smiled at him again.

"Hales…"

"Are you just gonna stand there or are you going to help me out if this dress?" she purred.

He returned her grin.

"What have I gotten myself into?" he laughed.

Swooping her up in his strong arms, he carried her to bed. He placed her down carefully and began gently kissing and caressing her. The pace was slow and sweet but her clothes were completely off in no time.

"Well, well, well", she sighed. "Now that you have me alone and naked in your bed, Mr. Scott, whatever are you going to do with me?"

He tucked her hair behind her ear.

"What I've been wanting to do for eight years", he said huskily.

He slid down her body, his mouth nipping at tender exposed flesh. Haley threw her head back but jumped when he made his way to her belly button.

"Nate, that tickles!" she squealed.

But he went further south and soon she wasn't giggling anymore. Laughter turned into cries of pure pleasure as he worked miracles with his tongue. When she was weak from passion and multiple orgasms, lying breathless in his arms, he stroked her face.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"You are so beautiful", he whispered in awe.

"So are you", she smiled.

"I want to make love to you."

She kissed his lips again.

"What's stopping you?"

Nothing. In seconds his hardness was plunged slow and deep inside her warm, wetness. Once again they fit together like perfect pieces of a puzzle. It wasn't like the Dominican…it was just as passionate but there was no anger or fear or sense of rush. Just pure love.

"You okay?" he kissed her, studying her face as he slid in and out of her.

"As long as you're here."

He moaned. God, she felt good, he thought as he let his tongue sliver over any part of her exposed flesh. Her legs wrapped tightly around him and her nails dug into his back. She was reaching her boiling point, she could feel a thousand tiny sparks building inside her all ready to explode at any given moment.

"Don't hold back", he encouraged her.

"Nathan!" she grabbed a fistful of the sheet as her body trembled uncontrollably with delight.

He released, remaining inside of her until they could both find the strength to move.

"That…that was good", he panted.

"Perfect", she added.

"We always did have the best make up sex."

"This isn't make up sex, Nathan."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not. Babe, what are we fighting about?"

He turned over and looked deep in her eyes as he held her hand.

"It's our apology to each other for what happened eight years ago."

It gave her a chill as she felt like she might cry. He was right.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"All the time", he smiled. "Still it's never enough."

"I do. I do love you. Now come here", she giggled, pulling him on top of her.

"Hey. What are you doing? I'm starving. I was gonna order room service."

"Room service will have to wait."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"Yeah", she stared at him. "Hungry for you. Now come on. Eight years worth of fighting is a long time. I'd say we have a whole lot of making up to do."

"I'd say you're right", he rolled back on top of her.

And all was right with the world. The soul mates had found their way back to one another. Their time had come again and this time it was for real.


	198. Life Is But A Dream

**_Author's Note: Let the death threats begin, lol..._**

Haley rolled over in the large bed of the hotel room. Her hand instinctively reached out for the other warm body but nothing was there. Only emptiness. That side of the bed was cold. In fact, it hadn't even been unmade. She bolted upright.

"Nathan!" she called out.

No answer. Suddenly Haley felt scared and alone. Her mind began to reel. God, her head was throbbing. She rubbed at her aching temples. She felt groggy, sick almost. Where the hell was Nathan? Something wasn't right.

She climbed out of bed and put on a robe. Lillian, where was Lillian? Her heart raced. Lucas and Brooke had agreed to watch her. But had they said where? She had a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach. She fell back on the bed and grabbed her cell phone. She dialed Luke's familiar number.

"Hey, this is Luke and I'm not around. Leave me a message…"

She hung up. Dammitt! Straight to voice mail. What about Brooke? Oh shit, what was Brooke's number? She couldn't remember. Why couldn't she remember? She looked up. Sun was coming in through the window. Damn, it was bright. It was morning. Where the hell was Nathan?

Stumbling out of bed, Haley opened the door and peeked outside. That was odd. There were other rooms on the floor. She could have sworn she and Nathan were in the penthouse, the only ones on the top floor. Stepping out in her bare feet, she crept down the carpeted hall to the elevator. Why was there no elevator attendant? Haley rubbed her eyes and saw her reflection. God, she looked like shit.

It stopped on the ground floor. She walked out. She walked to the front door. She opened it up. It was quiet. There were trees everywhere. No cabs, no tall buildings, no noise. It certainly didn't look like New York. What the hell?

"Haley, you okay?"

She turned and saw one of the roadies, Tarah, from her first tour.

"Tarah, oh my God! Wh…what are you doing here?"

Tarah frowned.

"The same thing as you. Dude, are you okay?"

Haley shook her head and dashed away back into the elevator. She was shivering as it opened. To her surprise, there was Chris.

"How'd you get here?"

He frowned.

"Good morning to you too, Sunshine. Not to be rude but you look like crap. Get enough sleep last night?"

"I asked you how you got here, Chris. And where's Taylor?"

"Uh to answer your first question, I rolled in on the same bus that got you, Michelle, Jessica and Gavin here. To answer your second question, who the hell is Taylor?"

"What do you mean, who is Taylor? My sister, your wife, remember?"

Chris laughed.

"Okay, no more of those blue and yellow and purple pills Eminem rhymes about for you, missy."

"Chris!"

"Dude, I'm not married and I've never met your sister."

Haley began to panic.

"Where's Lillian?"

"Who?"

"Jamarah! You know, Jamma!"

He laughed again.

"Am I on Candid Camera? I seriously don't know any of these people you're talking about."

Haley was damn near hysterical.

"This isn't funny! Lillian is my daughter but you and Taylor named her Jamarah or Jamma when I was in the hospital with post partum depression. But this was before you guys got married."

"Your daughter?"

"Yes, with Nathan. And he just singed with the New Jersey Nets after you convinced him to and we were at the press conference and Brooke and Lucas wanted us to have a romantic night because we haven't had one since the tsunami…"

"Tsunami?"

"Yeah but that wasn't really romantic. Nathan was engaged to Megan then and…"

"Who is Megan?"

"Chris! Stop it!"

His smile faded. Obviously she wasn't kidding around.

"Haley, are you okay?"

"No! I'm not okay! I just need to know where Nathan went and where Lillian is! You act like you don't know! Are you trying to drive me crazy?"

He ushered her inside her room. Maybe the pressure of the tour was getting to her.

"Okay, Haley, you are seriously starting to freak me out here. I don't know what to say. You want me to get Michelle?"

"Why is Michelle here? She should be with her baby…"

"What baby?"

"Chris!"

"Haley, sit down and take a deep breath, okay? You want me to call a doctor or somebody?"

"No! I want you to stop these mind games! I want to know where Lillian is and Taylor and Nathan and Brooke and Lucas…"

"Alright, alright. Slow down. Tell me everything from the beginning."

Haley rolled her eyes. Why was he wasting her time?

"You know the story! My annulment didn't go through so Nathan and I had to get a divorce but we couldn't wait because he was marrying Meg. So we went to the Dominican Republic and after we filed papers there was this huge earthquake and tsunami. Nathan and I were trapped and we thought we were dying and I ended up getting pregnant. I crashed their wedding but Megan was pregnant too and but their baby died and Lillian lived after Dan gave her the bone marrow transplant. Megan divorced him and you and Taylor were helping me out but you eloped to Vegas and people thought it was you and I who got married. Nathan and I finally just figured this thing out, how to get along and raise our child."

"I am officially skeeved. I was just kidding about the pills but did someone slip something in your drink? You're not making any sense."

"You're the one not making sense."

"Haley, we are in Alabama."

"Alabama? No! No! We're in New York. We live in New York. We're supposed to be in New York."

"We're outside of Birmingham at the Marriot…"

"No! I stayed at the St. Francis last night."

"In your dreams", he chuckled. "Maybe when we're headlining our own tours."

"Headlining? We have Grammys."

Chris rolled his eyes.

"Got anymore of those pills?" he joked.

"Chris!"

"Haley, sounds to me like you're either losing your mind or you had one hell of a dream last night. I don't know Taylor or Megan. I'm not married. You don't have a kid and you certainly don't have a Grammy…yet."

She was disoriented and gasped as she noticed the wedding ring on her finger.

"Who…"

"Nathan. Your husband. Remember? I don't know anything about the Dominican or annulments. All I know is he's a world class jerk and you're pretty much estranged now."

"My husband?"

"Yeah."

"Where…where are we?"

"I told you. You played a show last night. We're on to Jacksonville, Florida, then Atlanta. You know, the tour with Gavin DeGraw and the Wreckers that I got you on. The one you might possibly get fired from if Michelle discovers you're about five brews short of a six pack."

"Oh my God. Oh my God, oh my God."

"Stupid question but are you okay?"

"What day is it?"

"Wednesday."

"No, I mean the date."

"April 20th."

"The year! What year?"

"2005."

Haley collapsed back down on the bed, sliding onto the floor.

"Oh shit, Chris."

"Haley…"

But couldn't see or even hear him. All she could do was wail.


	199. Two Separate Worlds

_**Author's Note: So the fallout wasn't as bad as I expected. When this story is over, I promise to write my usual final Author's Note to explain some of my reasonings and other things you guys have tried to address in reviews and personal e-mails. With that said, as always, read all the reviews and loved them. Especially Kumary, Victoria-Marie and Chilton Puff (I think it was). Oh and to Rebecca...you said that you were upset because "all the heartache was for nothing". Interesting observation...keep reading and e-mail me at the end and I'm sure we'll have a lot to discuss.**_

_**Italics Scenes taken from OTH episode, Season 2, Episode 17, "Something I Can Never Have". Please don't sue…**_

"Is she okay?" Gavin asked.

"Maybe we should call an ambulance." Michelle wondered out loud.

"Does anybody have any of those smelling salt things?" Jessica posed.

Chris rolled his eyes.

"Jess, come on. Like we just walk around with smelling salt in our pockets."

"Well, I didn't know", she hit him.

Four of the five musical acts on the tour were surrounding the bed in the hotel where Haley James Scott had just passed out.

"This is bad, guys", Michelle shook her head. "She should see a doctor or something."

With Chris gently caressing her face with a cool washcloth, Haley finally began to stir. She opened her brown eyes wide, startled a bit by all the attention of the onlookers.

"She's okay", Chris said. "Haley, can you hear me?"

They helped her to a sitting position.

"Yeah."

"Do you know where you are, sweetie?" Michelle asked.

"Yeah, um…Alabama."

She still looked upset and confused.

"Um, can everyone give us a minute?" Michelle asked.

"Yeah guys", Chris pointed towards the door.

"Uh, that means you, too, Keller. I wanted to talk to Haley...alone."

The others nodded and left, including a reluctant Chris.

"I'm sorry I'm so out of it", Haley apologized, putting her head in her hands.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I just want to make sure you'll be okay."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah", Haley sighed.

"Listen, Haley when I was growing up, I really, really wanted to be a singer. I mean it. It's all I ever really wanted to do. I just knew that I was going to be famous one day. I kind of banked on it considering I didn't have any other dreams or life plans. I just wanted this so bad and I really prepared for it. My first album took off when I was 18. It's tricky because I was gaining a little fame and making a little money. And when you're that age and a legal adult and on your own, you think you know everything and you have it under control. But I didn't. This is hard. I love it and I want it but it takes getting used to. It's an adjustment. I guess what I'm trying to say is…maybe this is a little much for you. Haley, you're a great person and you're super talented but if you can't handle this…"

"No, it's not that. It's…God, I don't know. I don't know what happened. I had…I guess I had this dream, only it didn't feel like a dream. It felt so real and when I woke up this morning…I don't know. I guess I couldn't tell the difference between fact and fiction."

"You've been kind of quiet the last couple of stops. Tarah told me your husband came to see you a few nights ago."

"Yeah…"

"Do you remember that?"

Haley closed her eyes. How could she forget? She had been in the hair and make up room backstage and she was on in minutes. She walked over to her dressing area to grab her guitar and that's when she saw him. It had seemed like a mirage at first. But it wasn't. It was very real. Nathan was standing there...

_"Nathan ,oh my god! What're you doing here?"_

_He stood, turning and looking at her, walking towards where she was. _

_Haley smiled faintly._

_"I wanted to see you. I needed to see you, I…" _

_"I'm so glad you did", she hugged him. "I miss you."_

_He hugged her back and it felt so good._

_"Listen, I asked you to marry me because I want to spend my life with you. I still want that. I love you, Haley."_

_"I love you, too."_

_"So I came here for you and I'll be here for you no matter what. I'll go with you on the tour, I'll wait for you, whatever you want me to do. I'm not giving up on us. I'm not giving up on our marriage."_

_Haley took a step back, exhaling forcefully. She closed her eyes. _

_"I don't know what to say", she sighed her eyes following his to the mirror that housed intimate photos of her with Chris. " Oh, no, no, Chris and I aren't together, I promise you. It's never been about that."_

_"You're not wearing your ring", he noticed quietly, taking her hand and then dropping it._

_What could she say? She had tried to prepare for that moment in her heart over and over again but she was no closer to a resolution._

_"I love you", she whispered. " Oh, I do but I feel like…maybe we rushed things a little bit. Maybe I…I rushed things a little bit. We're so young and I wasn't ready for all this. You and the music and…now it's all happening at once and… it's really hard! I don't know if I can be…who you need me to be." _

_Nathan felt sick._

_"All I want you to be is my wife. Is that too much to ask?"_

_She tried to answer but was interrupted by one of the crew members._

_"Haley! We're ready."_

_Both the newlyweds were clearly struggling with their emotions. Haley sadly shook her head._

_"I have to go. Um…God, can you just wait here and I will meet you after the show and then we can talk and…I…I,I don't even… I'm really happy that you came. I love you", she whispered, kissing his neck. "I love you." _

_"Please welcome back, Haley James!" the announcer said over the loudspeaker to an enthused and applauding audience._

_It was her cue. She hesitantly let go of Nathan and walked out as he looked on with a restrained face. Haley took the guitar and looped the strap around her petite shoulders. She stood in front of the mic, waiting for the band to back her up. Once last glance turned to her husband who wasn't smiling. _

_The bright spotlight hit her and the fans cheered louder. She gave them a smile and began to play. They loved her and she loved them…and the music. It was so easy to get lost in it. That's what it was always about. She had to know if she was good enough…and this was her answer. _

_She gave the performance of a lifetime just like she did at every concert. She became one with the music. She reached out to the crowd with her lyrics. Then on the last set, Chris came out and they did their duet "When The Stars Go Blue". He kissed her cheek just as the music started much to the delight of a smitten audience. And then her night was done._

_Haley opened her eyes. It was over. She was herself again. Immediately she looked over but he wasn't there. She practically ran off, hoping he had taken a seat to wait for her. But he hadn't. He was gone._

"I remember", Haley said, facing Michelle on the bed as she once again came back to what was real.

"If you need time…"

"I don't", she said quickly.

"Haley…"

"I'm sorry. I guess this is a little overwhelming. Everything is happening so fast. But I'm okay. I'll be fine."

Michelle smiled and stroked her arm.

"I hope so…but it's okay if you miss him."

"I do", Haley said honestly. "I really do. And I love him with all my heart. But this is what I want now. This is my dream. I feel like I was born to be here. I don't know if Nathan gets that. Hell, I think I just figured it out. He and I have a lot to talk about and there are decisions to make but right now it's like we're in two different worlds. In time I…we'll have to deal with that but for now, trust me…I am where I want to be."


	200. On The Road Again

It was a miserable day. The clouds were dark and gloomy, rain drops spilling out of them. Haley sighed as she got comfortable on the tour bus that had become home. She tucked her feet underneath her and cuddled up to Mr. Waffles, the stuffed animal that had been her constant companion since birth.

Tucking her feet underneath her, she looked around. Jessica was reading a book and Michelle, head phones on, was beginning to doze off. Gavin, Chris and the other boys were on the other bus as both pulled out headed for the next destination. Haley tugged at her lip. She was anxious, restless. Her eyes kept darting around looking for Lillian. Then it would take a minute and she'd realize there was no Lillian. The child, seemingly like everything else, had been a mere fragment of her sleep induced overactive imagination.

Pulling a blanket over her head, she desperately reached for sleep. Mentally and physically she was exhausted but rest wasn't easy to come by. She hadn't had a full night's sleep since the dream, just quick, agitated catnaps here and there. Part of her was afraid, terrified she'd slip back into the Wizard of Oz like alternate universe while the other half of her tentatively wished for it. Haley didn't know what she wanted but it was crystal clear a peaceful slumber just wasn't in the cards. Sighing, she reached into her bag and pulled out her cell phone. She searched for a random number she hadn't bothered to save. She breathed a huge sigh of relief when she found it, dialing out instantly.

"Hello?"

Haley frowned. Gosh, there was so much background noise.

"I can barely hear you", she said.

"Baby sis, is that you?"

"Yeah, Tay, it's me."

"Hold on…okay is that better?'

"Yeah", Haley said, glad to be able to hear a voice instead of loud music and ruckus. "God, where are you, the OK Corral?"

"Better. I am in Athens, Georgia at the world famous Swinging Donkey."

"Is that a bar?"

"Not just any bar. Chicks around here would give their right arm to be a Donkey."

Haley was suddenly stunned by irony.

"Or a Coyote", she said softly, remembering Taylor's fictional occupation in her dream.

"You mean like Coyote Ugly? Oh hell yeah. I'll make it to the big leagues one day but for now baby steps, little sister. Now what do I owe the pleasure of receiving a phone call from America's rising pop princess?"

"I…I just wanted to talk. Um, Nathan came by a few days ago. Last week actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"But let me guess…he's not sitting next to you now, is he?"

"No", Haley said quietly.

"I figured that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I saw him."

"Who? Nathan?"

"Duh."

"When, Taylor?"

"He came by. He stopped in for a visit right after he left from seeing you."

Haley closed her eyes.

"Did he stay long? How was he? What did he say?"

"Easy with the twenty questions, Hay. Alright, he spent the night…"

"Where? With you?"

Taylor grinned menacingly.

"Does it matter? Obviously he wasn't with you and from what I understand, that's your choice. Why should you care who he spends the night with?"

"Taylor!"

"Okay, okay. Just kidding. Don't get all spazz on me. Anyway, I'm house sitting upstairs from the bar and he crashed on the couch. Before you ask, nothing happened."

Haley rolled her eyes.

"How is he doing? Was he okay?"

"At face value? He's great. Still a little hottie and we had mad fun partying and getting drunk."

"That's nice to know", Haley muttered sarcastically.

"Let me finish, will you? In the words of Napoleon Dynamite, 'Gosh'! But anyway. That was all an act if you ask me. He's hurting Haley. He misses his wife. He's lonely and he's confused and he's scared. Can you blame him? He didn't even have his wedding ring on because he says you weren't wearing yours either."

"I wear it on a chain around my neck. Look, it's complicated. You don't understand…"

"Try me."

Haley sighed.

"I don't know how when I can't even explain it myself. Taylor, I'm happy on this tour. They think I'm good. All of them…Chris and Jess and Gavin and Michelle…the fans. I love it. This is what I want."

"What about Nathan? Do you still love your husband?"

"Of course I do."

"Then maybe you should go back."

"Back to what?"

"Haley…"

"Can I tell you something, Taylor? Something serious?"

"Yeah."

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die. Now what's up?"

"I had this dream the other night, only it wasn't like a regular dream. It was so long and detailed and crazy and just…I don't know, real. I woke up and I thought I had gone crazy."

"Was it about Nathan?"

"Yes. And you were there and Mom and Dad, his parents, Brooke, Lucas, Jake, Peyton, Karen…"

"Sounds like the whole gang was on board. Tell me, were we all naked?"

Haley scoffed.

"I thought you were going to be serious."

"Okay, okay. Sorry. I just couldn't resist. Now tell me about this dream of yours."

"I was a famous singer in New York…"

"That's original. Proceed."

"I finished this tour and never saw Nathan again. He and Lucas were NBA players and he was engaged to this gorgeous, blonde, mortgage broker named Megan. But when he went to marry her, he couldn't because our annulment never went through. So we went to the Dominican Republic for a quickie divorce but there was a tsunami and we were trapped and we ended up having sex…"

"Good times, not the tsunami, I mean, but the sex."

"Taylor…"

"Sorry. Continue."

"He married Megan and I crashed their wedding because I was pregnant but I never got the chance to tell him because she was pregnant too. Their baby died but our baby lived. I was really depressed during and after the pregnancy and you moved in to help me. But my daughter, Lillian, had to have a bone marrow transplant and Dan Scott was the only daughter. Megan left and Nathan and I were just getting around to being in love again and having a family. Then I woke up…after you married Chris, of course, which still sketches me out but whatever."

"I married the stud you kissed? I can dig being a rocker's wife. I'm feeling the whole Jerry Hall, Courtney Love, Priscilla Presley thing."

"Can you be serious for like one second? I swear you act just like Daddy."

"Hay, what do you want from me? So you have this super weird dream that totally freaks you out? Now you're on edge and your mind is thinking a million thoughts a minute and you're even more confused about Nathan and your marriage. Am I right?"

"Something like that."

"What do you want me to say? Because you already know I feel. I think you should get your man back. You never should have got your little ass on that bus in the first place."

"This is a once and a lifetime opportunity, Taylor. It was my dream…"

"To what? Stop being Tutor Girl? To finally be the popular and the pretty one? Give me a break. Grow up. Yeah, you're a musician and you love it and you're good at it but you're in this more to show up one of those Jenny Jones 'Look At Me Now' episodes. Good grief. Your life wasn't so bad. In fact, it was pretty damned good. Nathan loves you."

"I know…"

"Then you know it might be cool now what you're doing on the road with Michelle Branch and Chris or whoever but take it from experience, Haley bub, sooner or later, the parties just kind of start blending together."

Haley groaned.

"What am I going to do?"

"Whatever you want, sis. It's your life. Right now, you're taking care of you. There's nothing wrong with that but remember, Nathan isn't going to be around waiting forever. You're not there for him so you can't get mad if he starts taking care of himself."

"I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to feel. I love him so much but I don't know if I want to be a wife."

"That's your choice, little sis. You do what you do because you're the one that has to live with it. Now I hate to cut this short but I have to go."

"To what? Dancing on a bar?"

"Actually, yes. You sing on stage, I slap on cowboy hat and shake my ass for horny old men. It's a living, right?"

"Yeah. I guess it is."

"We'll talk later and in the meantime, try not to have anymore crazy dreams."

"Tell me about it."

"And Lillian? You actually named your kid, Lillian?"

"I like it. It's pretty."

"It's boring. You need something cool like…like…"

"Jamarah?"

"Yeah. I like that. Much better. But I have to run, Hay. The bar is a calling. We'll talk later, okay?"

Haley took a deep breath and hung up. She turned her attention to the window as the country passed her by. Life was getting stranger and stranger.


	201. Like A Man Possessed

Lucas felt absolutely sick to his stomach. His heart pounded, his knees were weak and he couldn't feel his hands. Everything was so messed up. He had a feeling his father was up to something treacherous and highly illegal. His mother still wasn't over the fact that he had moved out. Jake was in jail, Peyton was devastated, and Haley was gone. Could life get any worse?

Of course! It had started out a day like any other day. Nathan had been so down about missing Haley that it was a welcome surprise when he called with laughter and excitement in his voice. Deb's brother, his uncle Cooper, was in town. He was a professional race car driver. Did Lucas want to go out racing? Hell yeah! What teenage boy in his right mind would turn that down? It had all the makings of paradise…hot cars, speed, a surefire adrenaline rush and most importantly the chance to see Nathan smile again. Lucas jumped for the opportunity.

Everyone was kitted in their protective gear. Four cars, three laps around the track. The instructions were plain and simple enough. They were ready. The most important note? Don't let the RPM tack go over 6.

It was fun! They were having a good time. Nathan, Lucas, Coop, and Daytona, a family friend, were all in separate cars. There was digging and competition as they teased each other on the microphone correspondence but mostly it was just a day to let loose. When it was over Cooper led them to the pits. One by one they all filed in. Everybody except Nathan.

No one thought any of it at first, just a last place victory lap so to speak. But he didn't stop. He didn't even slow down. Instead he went faster and faster. Cooper radioed for him to bring it in. Nathan responded by taking the tack to a dangerous 8.

For one going so fast it seemed to happen in slow motion. His car scraped the wall and tiny orange sparks flew. The car jerked violently before crashing into the wall. The car was on fire but flames didn't deter Lucas and Cooper from pulling him to safety. He was still and quiet, dark blood oozing from his nose. All Lucas could do was hold him and beg him to hang on. At the hospital Nathan opened his eyes briefly. In a whisper he told his brother not to call Haley.

Lucas wanted to throw up. Where was the doctor? Was his brother alright? And why hadn't Deb's blood been unsuitable for the transfusion? So many questions. So much fear. Lucas thought he might explode. Then she came bursting through the double doors.

"It's okay. I'm here for you."

He held her and for the first time it felt like everything was going to be okay. Her calming influence was amazing. What was even more amazing was exactly how much he needed her.

"Brooke…"

"Is Nathan alright?"

"They're prepping him for emergency surgery right now."

"Doesn't Haley have to be here? You know, to give consent."

"No because it was an emergency. And because he's emancipated, Dan and Deb really have no say. I was the next available kin so I signed for it.

Brooke shook her head.

"I take it Tutor Wife has given up the VH1 fantasy and is on her way back?"

Lucas shook his head.

"No."

"What?"

"She doesn't know."

"You mean…"

"I couldn't tell her. I haven't called. That's the last thing Nate said. He begged me not to."

"Luke…"

"I have to respect his wishes."

"I know but she's still his wife. She still has a right to know. You'd want to know…right?"

Lucas sighed and looked away, rubbing his red rimmed eyes.

"What am I gonna do, Brooke? I mean, what would you do?"

"I'd call."

He sighed.

"You're right. You're right, Brooke."

A tear slipped down his face.

"He's going to be okay", she whispered.

Lucas looked at her.

"There's more."

"More?"

"I went back to the track. It was scary. The wall is all banged up. His car is totaled. It's a miracle he made it out in one piece."

"Why'd you go back?"

"I don't know. Something was bothering me. Nathan's an athlete, right? We both are. In that instant when he was losing control, his natural reflex should have been to turn left."

"He didn't?"

"No. Not even close. He didn't even try. It's almost like…like he aimed for that wall or something."

Brooke's eyes widened.

"Nathan? You think he tried to kill himself?"

"I don't know. I don't want to believe that but I don't know. I mean, he has been so depressed about Haley leaving. He really loves that girl. He misses her so much. I know the thought of losing her is tearing him up inside. Who knows what was going through his mind?"

Brooke took a deep breath.

"Nathan was hurt and this is a very serious operation. I'm sure he'll be fine but just in case…Luke, Haley should be here. You should give her a call."

Lucas nodded. He knew what he had to do. He patted her on the back as he rose and walked outside. Pulling out the compact flip phone, he dialed the familiar number. He prayed she would answer…

**MEANWHILE…**

Haley laughed as she picked over a plate of half cold fried rice. The show would be starting soon and the performers always tried to grab a quick bite to eat together before sound check. It had been a rough few days but Haley had recovered from her dream. Things were much better and she was enjoying a tale Gavin was telling about the time his pants fell down on stage.

"You are so making that up!" she accused, giggling.

"Am not. I swear. It was a show in Virginia Beach. I still have the embarrassing video footage to prove it."

She shook her head as she heard her phone ringing from her bag. She grabbed it and looked at the ID. Lucas. Haley sighed. Just when things seemed to be back on track. What did he want? Just to talk? Or was he calling to bitch at her about Nathan. Taking a deep breath, she excused herself from the table and accepted the call.

"Luke…what's up?"

"Hales! Listen, I need to talk to you."

"Okay but I don't have much time…"

"This is important."

There was a quivering sense of urgency in his voice.

"Everything okay?"

"You sitting down?"

"I don't want to sit. Talk to me."

Lucas closed his eyes. He could barely get the words out.

"Haley, there has been an accident…"

Accident? Accident! She felt her knees buckle.

"Nathan?" she managed to whisper.

A lump formed in Luke's throat.

"Yeah."

"Oh my God. What kind of accident?"

"Car. We were racing on his uncle's track and things got out of hand…"

"Is he, is he okay? I mean, he's going to be okay…right?"

It was hard saying it to her and it was even harder voicing it out loud for himself.

"Hales…"

"Lucas!" her voice rose involuntarily. "He is going to be okay? Right? Please…answer me."

He breathed into the receiver and shook his head.

"I don't know."


	202. What Could and Might Be

Haley couldn't believe it. She had just seen him days before. He was strong, beautiful…healthy. She had kissed him and touched his warm body. And with one phone call everything had changed. Her husband was on an operating table fighting for his life. He could be dying…and it was all her fault.

She had called her parents to tell them. She had been so upset she could hardly speak. She was hysterical, racked with guilt that she was somehow to blame. They assured her, as moms and dads are supposed to, that it wasn't her fault. But Haley begged to differ.

What if she had just gone home with him when he drove down to the show? If she had been in Tree Hill, he never would have been in that stupid race car at that stupid track in the first place. Or what if she had let him stay and join her on the tour? Then he would have been laughing with the band and eating crappy food before a concert instead of crashing into a concrete wall at 160 miles per hour. Or what if she hadn't gotten on that damned bus in the first place? Nathan would be okay. He'd be alive.

She checked her watch. It was late. She was on her way back to North Carolina. If there was any question before about where she needed to be, there were none anymore. Haley Scott was headed back to where she belonged…right by her husband's side.

Impatiently she tapped her foot. It was beginning to rain again. She was at some hole in the wall bus station in some nameless, godforsaken town. The normal protocol would be for big rock stars to cross the country in private jets…or at least first class of a decent commercial airline. But there hadn't been any flights or trains headed towards Tree Hill in a timely fashion. All were scheduled hours away for "next day" service. It was reasonable but to a frightened young wife fearing for her husband's well being, it simply didn't cut it. The buses ran continuously so she would bus hop from one city to another nonstop until she was at Nathan's bedside. She hadn't counted on the latest delay.

"Bus leaves in one hour, folks! One hour!" yelled the driver.

Haley cursed. It was supposed to have pulled out an hour and a half before. Dammitt!

Clutching her bag, she peered inside the station. There was a diner there. She didn't have much of an appetite but the dizzy feeling in her head and the rumbling in her stomach suggested she might want to get some food in her belly. Sighing, she went inside and plopped down at a table. Grabbing a sticky menu, she searched for something edible.

"Can I get you something to drink, sugar?" the waitress asked.

Her bouffant red updo deserved its own zip code and Haley had never seen someone where so much make up. She was skinny as a rail and popped a wad of gum like there was no tomorrow. But she seemed nice enough.

"Iced tea, please, if it's sweet and I'll have a chicken salad sandwich on rye if you have it."

"We're out of chicken salad, honey."

"Tuna?"

"Sorry."

"Peanut butter and jelly?"

"No can do."

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Ma'am, what do you have?"

"Turkey or ham…"

Haley's heart jumped. That phrase. That familiar phrase…

"Excuse me?"

"Turkey or ham, honey. What's it gonna be?"

"Um…turkey", she stuttered.

Putting the menu back in its place, she nervously looked around, keeping one eye on the bus. The diner was virtually empty except for one other patron and a few of the workers. Then she saw her. A whisp of blonde hair hurrying to the back. Haley turned her neck so hard she felt like she had whiplash. That girl. She looked so familiar.

"You okay, kiddo?" the waitress returned.

"Huh? Oh…yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. It's uh, just been a long night or day or few days, I guess."

"I hear you. Your sandwich is coming right up."

"Thanks", Haley nodded, again beginning to feel ill. "Um, do you have a restroom?"

"Sure. Over yonder on the left."

Securing her belongings Haley stood and followed the simple directions. Turning on the faucet, she splashed her face with cold water. It felt good. She leaned over as far as she could underneath the sink. When she stood looking for a paper towel, she screamed.

There was a woman behind her. Haley hadn't seen or heard her walk in. She just happened to be there like as if she appeared by magic.

"Hi", Haley managed to stammer.

The girl, an employee, smiled and handed her something to wipe her hands and face.

"Didn't mean to scare you. I forgot to fill the dispenser earlier."

Haley nodded and let the woman do her business, although she couldn't help but stare. Something was so recognizable. Her blonde hair…her eyes…

"Sorry", Haley apologized as she accidentally bumped into her.

The girl smiled sweetly.

"I'm sorry, Miss. Do I have something hanging out of my nose?"

"Excuse me?"

"You just keep staring…"

"I'm so sorry", Haley said. "I didn't mean to be rude. I…I, I just…I feel like I've seen you somewhere before, that's all."

The girl leaned in to wash her own hands.

"I get that a lot. Who knows? We probably have seen each other before.."

The girl went to dry and Haley gasped. There was a tattoo on her exposed lower back. No pictures or symbols…just words. It said **_Fate Is What We Make_**

Haley clumsily dropped her bag.

"Oh my God…"

"You sure you're okay, ma'am?"

"I…I'm fine."

"You sure? You looked…troubled."

"No, I…"

"Let me guess, it's a man, right? Men are always trouble. Trust me, I know. Did your boyfriend do something?"

"I…I don't have a boyfriend."

The girl nodded.

"Or maybe it was your husband?"

"I…"

"I see a lot of pain in your eyes. You look scared, confused. Maybe you made a mistake. Maybe you made decisions you're not proud of. Maybe you're looking for a take back now."

"What?"

"It's okay, Haley."

Haley was beginning to freak.

"How…how'd you know my name?"

The girl grinned before pointing downward.

"It's on your luggage."

"Oh…"

"Like I was saying…it's gonna be okay. It's not too late. If you go to him, talk to him, tell him how you feel and listen to what he has to say, it will be alright. He'll understand. He will forgive you. You can begin to forgive each other."

"Look…"

"Don't let anything come between you. Don't give up or give in or walk away. He's your soul mate, Haley."

Haley began to tremble. Then she got mad. What the hell was going on?

"Who the hell are you?"

The girl shrugged.

"Doesn't matter. It's not important now. I'm just a small town girl working for pennies at a run down old bus stop. You may think I look familiar but I don't. Trust me, we've never met but uh…if you don't make things right…you might see me again in about six or seven years", she winked.

Haley, mouth open, was paralyzed.

"Oh my…"

"You have a good night", the girl said as she turned to leave.

She used her hand to flip back her hair. In the process, it revealed a tattered nametag but the print was blatantly clear to Haley. In faded print she could make out five letters…Megan.


	203. Waiting To Exhale

She arrived at the busy hospital after a day of exhausting travel. Still shaken up by her dream and an encounter with a certain bus stop waitress, a tired Haley, bags in hand, wandered up to a reception desk.

"May I help you, ma'am?"

"Nathan Scott", she blurted out.

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm looking for Nathan Scott. Can you tell me what room he's in?"

The woman typed a few keys on the computer keyboard.

"He's on the eighth floor…"

"Thank you", she started walking off.

"No visitors are allowed just yet, Miss. He's in recovery after surgery."

"Is he okay?"

"I'm sorry. The doctors will only talk to immediate family."

Haley sighed.

"I…I'm his wife."

The receptionist nodded sympathetically and pointed her in the right direction. A quick elevator ride later, she found herself on the right floor, and face to face with her father in law.

"Well, well", Dan folded his arms. "So nice of you to join us."

Haley was in no mood.

"How's Nathan?" she asked, getting straight to the point, ignoring him.

"Not so good…but you're his wife so I'm sure you already know that."

"Look…"

She was stopped mid sentence when Deb approached them. Just great, Haley thought as the older blonde gave her a hard stare.

"Haley…"

"Mrs. Scott, where's Nathan? How is he?"

Deb took a deep breath.

"He's recovering. The operation went as well as expected. The doctors aren't releasing any information to Dan or me because of the emancipation but they're talking to Lucas. Nathan's still resting but he hasn't woke up yet. I was able to sit with him for a few minutes earlier."

"I need to see him."

Deb simply nodded. What else could she do? It wasn't like she could stop her anyway. Haley was his legal next of kin. Besides, Deb had bigger worries. She was concerned about her child…and still reeling from the shock and shame as her darkest secret had just been exposed.

"Room 817."

Haley dropped her things in the lobby and dashed to be at his bedside. The lights had been dimmed and the door was slightly ajar. In the massive bed surrounded by machines and tubes inserted everywhere, there he was. There was her Nathan.

Haley gasped. In her eyes he had always been so strong. He had such a presence, at times he seemed almost invincible. He had been her friend, her lover, her provider and protector. Now he looked so small and vulnerable lying in that bed. Seeing him that way unnerved her.

She carefully approached his bedside and pulled up a nearby chair. Immediately tears spilled from her eyes. What had happened? Would he be okay? She could have kicked herself for not being there for him. Taking his hand in hers, she stroked it. No response. No stir or movement.

"Nathan", she whispered, stroking his palm.

The only sound was that of the monitors beeping and her occasional sniffle. She scooted up and gingerly removed the bedding rail so she could lay her head next to him. Suddenly their whole life together flashed before her eyes. It was overwhelming…what had really already happened and what the future might bring.

"Hales…"

Haley lifted her head. Lucas.

"Luke…"

She hadn't seen him in months, not since she had left for the tour. They had barely kept in touch by phone or e-mail. He was her best friend but she hadn't even bothered to say good bye. That night at Tric ended up a night like any other night when she and Nathan had left for the apartment after watching Chris and the Wreckers performed. But his invitation had turned out to be an offer she couldn't and didn't refuse. Without even considering Lucas' feelings, Haley had gotten on that bus without even a good bye.

"You okay?" he asked quietly, slowly walking to her.

She stood and practically ran, throwing herself into his arms as she sobbed. He held her close and tight, smoothing her hair and telling her it would all be okay. She was his little Buddy and he had welcomed her back with open arms.

"I'm so sorry", she sobbed.

"It's okay…"

"No! No, it's not okay! Look at him!"

Lucas stroked her hand as he glanced at his little brother.

"He's gonna be okay, Hales. Nathan is strong…he's a fighter. He'll get through this. Right now just let him sleep and when he's ready, he'll wake up on his own terms."

"I should have been here. What did the doctors say?"

"There was some chest trauma. Um, he hit that wall pretty hard and fast. They had to operate right away. His right lung collapsed and he lost a lot of blood."

"Oh my God…"

"He has a rare blood antigen so they needed a donor."

"Did they get one in time? What about Dan? Deb?"

Lucas sighed.

"Um, Deb was a match but her blood was unusable. I don't know really know what's going on."

Haley felt a cold shill on her spine.

"Pills…"

"What?" Lucas asked.

It must have been the pills. Maybe another eerie premonition from her "dream" had come true.

"Nothing", Haley shook her head.

"They did the transfusion anyway with another donor and the surgery went okay. Now it's a waiting game to see when he'll wake up. They think he's going to be fine, it just might be a long and painful recovery."

"I'm gonna be here with him. I promise you that, Luke…even if he doesn't want me around."

Her voice trailed off sadly.

"It's not that, Haley. It's complicated. He's hurting. Nathan has been through so much…"

"I know. And I know it's all my fault."

Lucas rubbed his sister in law's shoulders.

"Look, don't think about that stuff now. It doesn't do anybody any good. You look tired. Maybe we should go…"

"No" she stated emphatically. "I just got here and I don't want to leave his side."

There was a soft knock on the door and one of the nurses entered.

"I need to do a quick post op check", she said. "If you wouldn't mind stepping outside…"

"But…" Haley began to protest.

"It won't take long, then you can stay until visiting hours are over."

"It's okay", Lucas led her out gently by the hand. "Come on, Hales. We have to let them do their job."

They walked out to a waiting room that was filled with all the faces she had left behind in Tree Hill. Karen and Andy, Dan and Deb, Whitey and Brooke, along with a few faces she didn't recognize.

"Hey, Brooke", she said.

"Hey", Brooke replied softly with a hug.

"Are Peyton and Jake here?"

Lucas and Brooke exchanged looks.

"Peyton was here earlier but she had to get back. She probably come back tomorrow. She um, she has some stuff going on. Jake is in jail."

"Jail? What happened?"

"Nikki breezed back into town to claim her Mother of the Year award along with the kid. Jake wouldn't give Jenny up and there's a whole court order and it just got messy."

Haley couldn't believe it. She shook her head in disbelief as the vivid images ran through her head of the smiling, happy, precocious eight year old in her dream.

"Oh honey", Karen ran up and embraced her. "You okay?"

Haley buried her face in the shoulder of the woman that had been her second mother.

"I'm fine", she whispered. "I'll be fine."

Karen guided her to a seat.

"I'm glad you made it back."

"I wanted to. I had to. I know Nathan doesn't want me here but I had to come."

"It's okay. He's going to be fine. Just concentrate on him getting better and everything else will fall into place. Everything will work out."

Haley nodded uneasily as Whitey gave her small hand an affectionate squeeze.

"Hi", a handsome but nervous man walked up to her. "I'm Cooper…Nathan's uncle."

"You were with him at the track?"

Cooper hung his head, his heart already heavy with guilt.

"I'm sorry. It shouldn't have happened. I didn't mean for it to happen."

"It's okay", Haley nodded with a sniffle. "I know it's not your fault."

"Nathan is going to be okay", Whitey said in his booming but comforting way. "No use in sitting around trying to place blame."

"Where's Keith?" Haley asked.

Karen hung her head.

"He…he's not here."

"Where is he? Where's Jules?"

Haley had been seriously out of the loop.

"Um…it didn't work out. They, they didn't get married. Things got complicated and she left and uh…Keith is taking some time to himself."

"Oh no. Is he okay? Where is he?"

"We don't know", Karen said, beginning to get emotional again. "He doesn't even know about Nathan yet. I tried to leave a message on his cell phone but the voicemail box is full."

Haley took a deep breath. So much had changed. No Keith and Jules? Things got complicated? Haley peered over at Dan. It had happened. Just like in her dream, only then, the two had been able to work it out. But it never failed…Dan Scott was the one behind it all.

A doctor walked out from the direction of Nathan's room and everybody stood.

"Any new word, Doc?" Dan asked.

"Mr. Scott, I'm sorry. I already told you, I can't give you any direct information. I have to speak to Lucas…"

"It's okay", Lucas said. "This is Haley Scott, my sister in law…and Nathan's wife."

Haley stepped up.

"Very well. Can we talk for a moment, Mrs. Scott?"

Dan was livid.

"This is ridiculous! That's my son in there for God's sake! We are the people that care about him and who've been there for him today, yesterday and hell, every other day unlike some people. You mean to tell me she can just walk in here and make decisions and take over?"

"She is his wife", the doctor reminded him.

Dan scoffed.

"Someone should try telling her that."

"Not here", Andy interjected as the voice of reason. "Everyone just needs to calm down."

Still irate, Dan backed away, seething as he watched the doctor explain more about Nathan's condition to Haley.

"Is he going to be okay?" she asked hopefully.

"The next 48 hours are critical of course but we have every indication that your husband will make a full recovery."

Haley breathed a huge sigh of relief.

"Thank God. Can I please see him again?"

"Of course."

"What about visiting hours? I don't want to leave him tonight. Is there a way I could sleep in his room?"

The doctor nodded.

"I'll have one of the nurses bring out a cot."

"Thank you", she said tearfully.

She headed back towards the anxious gathered group.

"Well?" Dan demanded impatiently.

Haley dabbed at her eyes.

"He's going to be okay."

The joy and relief was evident on everybody's faces as they could finally release the collective breaths they had been holding. Nathan was going to be okay. That was the good news, no the great news. That was what mattered most. His body would heal but what about his heart? What about their marriage? For the still shaken young wife, it was just the beginning steps of what was to be a long and difficulty painful road of recovering.


	204. Everything's Changing

Haley sighed as she used the plastic spoon to stir what the hospital said was Cream of Broccoli soup. She begged to differ but it didn't matter much anyway. Her appetite was long gone, the jumble of nerves between her belly and chest not leaving much room for anything else.

"Nice breakfast."

Haley looked up and was both relieved and ecstatic to see who was standing over her. It was Peyton.

"Pey!" she called out, jumping to hug her.

The two exhausted and emotional women embraced long and hard.

"How are you holding up?"

Haley shrugged.

"I'm trying to hang in there. What about you? I heard about Jake and I'm so sorry."

Peyton rubbed her tired, red rimmed eyes.

"I'm okay. I'm just worried about Jake and Jenny."

"What happened?"

"Nikki came back to town demanding custody. There was a hearing that Jake didn't even know about and when he didn't show, the judge awarded temporary custody to Nikki. She's only the world's worst mother and she's only doing this to dig at Jake. Of course he wouldn't give Jenny over…so they arrested him."

"Oh my God. And Jenny?"

Peyton shrugged.

"She's in a safe place and that's all I know. Jake won't tell me where she is or how she got there."

"Does he have a lawyer?"

"Yeah. Andy helped us out but technically he broke the law, even if it was an asinine law that the judge never should have ruled on."

"How's he holding up?"

"He's so strong. God, he's like the strongest person I've ever met. Jail sucks and I know he's scared but he says he doesn't care. He says he'll do whatever he has to do to protect Jenny. And I know he will."

Haley shook her head. She'd only been gone from Tree Hill for a few months and in that short time it was as if everything had changed. The world as they knew it had been turned upside down.

"Gosh, I'm so sorry. Oh Peyton. I…I don't know what to say…"

"It's okay. I mean, it's not your fault."

Haley took her friend's hand.

"Just be there for him. He really needs you now."

Peyton looked away and fought back tears.

"No, he doesn't…"

"Of course he does. Jake loves you and you love him. And you both love Jenny. You guys will get through this somehow."

A tear slid down her cheek.

"He…he doesn't want to see me."

"What?"

"Jake. He, um…he asked me to not come visit him in jail anymore."

"I'm sorry. It's probably just too hard for him. But don't give up. Jake will let you back in."

"It's just so hard to love someone so much and you see them hurting and you'd do anything to stop it but you don't know how. The more you love and the harder you try, they just seem to push further away."

Haley swallowed hard.

"Yeah…don't I know…"

"Oh I'm sorry. You and Nathan…"

"It's okay. I know how you feel. I'm kind of in the same position except I'm the one that did this to him. I hurt him. This is all my fault. I keep trying to fix it and make it better but I don't know how. Things just keep getting worse."

"Nathan has been hurting. I won't lie to you, Haley, it got pretty bad. He's been so lost without you. I mean, I don't know what else to say…"

"I didn't leave him, Peyton. Despite what he thinks or what everyone else thinks or how it looked. It wasn't about Chris. It was about me and the music and my dreams."

"I know. I've always understood that. You did what you had to do, what you thought was best at that time. I'm not judging you. I don't know if I would have been able to turn down an opportunity like that. But Nathan didn't understand. It really hurt him. But you're back now and that's all that matters. Maybe this is your chance to make it all right."

Haley looked away.

"You know, I never wanted anything to come between us…and it did. I let it."

"There's still a chance, Haley. You tell me not to give up on Jake but you can't give up on Nathan either. You guys love each other too much. Work it out. You don't want to lose him forever."

"I don't think I will."

"What?"

Haley chewed at her lip as she took a breath. She and Peyton had grown to be close. She trusted her. Peyton was smart and intuitive. Maybe she would understand. Maybe she could fit in the missing pieces and make sense of what Haley could not.

"Listen, Peyton, can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure."

"This is going to sound so weird…"

"Try me."

Haley nodded and sighed.

"Something happened to me while I was on tour. I…I had this dream."

"A dream?"

"Yeah but it wasn't like a normal dream, or at least I don't think so. It was really strange…and really real. It was freaky, like Twilight Zone freaky but now it changes everything."

"Okay…"

"I don't want you to think I'm crazy or anything. I haven't told anyone else but I can't keep this inside. I trust you. I don't know, I just feel like maybe…maybe you'll understand."

Peyton nodded. Haley definitely had her attention.

"You can trust me. I'm still your friend, Haley. Nothing has changed about that. I'm here for you if you need to talk."

"Okay…it started out…"

"Hey, I was wondering where you two were!"

Haley and Peyton looked up at the interruption. It was Brooke.

"Hey", Peyton said.

"Hey yourself", she plopped down beside them. "Everything okay? I called your cell earlier."

"Oh yeah. Sorry. I just got the message…"

"Anything new with Jake?" she asked carefully.

"No", Peyton answered.

"And Nathan?" she asked Haley.

"Um, no change. He still hasn't woken up."

"Sorry", Brooke said. "This really sucks. Nathan's in the hospital, Jake is in jail…what next? I don't know if I can take much more of this. We so need a distraction, girls. Let's talk about something good, something happy for a change. What were you two all serious about when I walked over?"

"Haley was just telling me about…"

"I was just telling her about this new song Gavin DeGraw is writing."

Haley gave Peyton a pleading look, beseeching the blonde to back off.

"Really? That's kind of cool that you got to hang out with him. He seemed really nice that time he sang at the café."

"Yeah…uh, he's a nice guy", Haley nodded for emphasis.

"Well, I'm just glad you're back", Brooke added. "A lot has changed since you've been gone, if you can't tell. But we really missed you."

"Thanks", Haley said. "I missed you guys, too,"

She managed a small smile as she went back to picking at her soup. Peyton couldn't help but stare. What did Haley have to tell her? What was so important about a dream? And why had she stopped so abruptly and changed the subject when Brooke had arrived?

Something was going on. Peyton could feel it. She had enough problems of her own but obviously her friend needed her. It may have been just a dream but whatever it was, it'd had a profound effect on Haley. And as soon as they were alone again, Peyton was determined to get to the bottom of it.


	205. Change One Thing, Change Everything

Peyton watched from across the crowded, tiny waiting room. She didn't mean to stare but she couldn't help it. Not that they had noticed anyway. They were oblivious to her presence and everyone else around them. They didn't mean it to be that way but it was just their natural chemistry, a newfound bond that had come with renewed friendship that seemed to put Lucas and Brooke in their own little world.

Peyton was jealous. She knew it was wrong but she couldn't help it really. It wasn't the typical envy. Despite her once strong feelings for Lucas, it wasn't the fact that she wanted him for herself. And it had nothing to do with not having the undivided attention of her best friend when she needed her the most. It was different and it was more. It was being stuck on the outside looking in at two people who were seemingly meant to be, who comforted each other in good times and bad. It was the closeness of a young man and a woman. It was seeing two people look in each other's eyes and garner all the strength and reassurance they needed. It was the look of two people in love.

Peyton missed that. She'd had it once not too long ago. It was only weeks before when she would wake in Jake's arms from a peaceful slumber. They were in her bed and he'd be staring and smiling at her. She would blush and pray that she hadn't done something terribly embarrassing like drool on his pillow. They would lay there consumed with each other until the gurgle from the crib would distract them. Jake would reach over and bring Jenny into bed between them where time seemed to stand still for the perfect little family.

It was a feeling of happiness words couldn't describe…until it was over. Then everything had changed in an instant. Nikki was back. Jenny was gone. Jake was in jail. Peyton was once again alone.

She pried her eyes away from Lucas and Brooke long enough to see Haley disappear into Nathan's room. She followed her friend and stood by the open door for a while just watching. Haley sat quietly by her husband's bedside, ever so often straightening his bed covers or stroking his hand. Finally she noticed her friend's presence.

"Peyton, come in."

Peyton buried her hands in her pocket.

"I don't want to intrude…"

"It's okay. Really. It's not an intrusion. Come in."

Peyton walked in and pulled up a chair by the foot of the bed.

"Still no change?"

Haley sighed.

"Not yet. We're just waiting for him to wake up."

"This sucks."

"I know. Reminds me of Lucas last year after his car accident."

"That was pretty rough. God, it seems like a lifetime ago."

"I know", Haley said.

"Oh, you were going to tell me something, something about a dream before Brooke came over this morning."

"About that…um, never mind. It…it's stupid."

"You sure? You just seem really weirded out by it."

"I am", she answered truthfully. "But it's a really long, drawn out story."

Peyton looked around and shrugged.

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. Are you?"

Haley gave her a small smile as she was instantly reminded of how they had been able to bond in the first place. She truend to her friend and took a deep breath. Looking Peyton right in the eye, Haley told her everything. She started from the beginning and tried not to leave a detail out. Peyton listened quietly and intently, taking everything in.

"…And that's it. I woke up. Just like that. One minute Nathan and I are having hot make up reunion sex in the St. Francis penthouse suite, the next I wake up in Alabama and everyone thinks I'm crazy."

"Wow", Peyton shook her head. "Dude, I…I don't know what to say. That is one hell of a dream."

"But that's the thing…I, I don't know if it was a dream."

"What do you mean? You just said…"

"Okay, here's the part where you're going to think I'm really crazy. Some of the things from my dream are starting to happen."

"Like what?"

"Like Deb. Lucas said they needed a blood donor for Nathan's transfusion and Deb was the only one with that antigen."

"Yeah…"

"Pey, the doctors couldn't use her blood. They had to get it from the blood bank."

"Why?"

"I think it's the pills from the dream. I think she has been abusing prescription pills and it tainted her blood."

"Whoa!"

"And Keith and Jules? In my dream, everything happened like it did with them in real life a few months ago. Dan was blackmailing Jules and Keith found out the whole truth and she ran out on their wedding day. They only got back together months later when he went looking for her and they worked it out."

"Wait a minute, you saw all this happen?"

"Plain as day. But…but that's not all. It gets worse."

"Worse? How?"

"Okay when Lucas called and told me Nathan was hurt, I totally freaked out. I left the tour right away but I couldn't get a flight out immediately and my nerves were too on edge to wait for the next day so I started taking buses. There was a delay at this hole in the wall pit stop so I decided to get something to eat. The minute I walked into the place it was like being in a bad movie. It looked like the place in that Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. Anyway, I try to order and they didn't have anything on the menu except turkey and ham."

"Turkey or ham? Isn't that what Deb said when you guys made up in your dream?"

"Exactly."

"Too weird."

"That's not all. I see this girl that looks really familiar and it freaked me out even more so I went to the bathroom to try to get myself together and I bent down to wash my face. When I stood up, she was just standing there behind me. I didn't hear or come in or anything. She was just there holding paper towels."

"So she worked there?"

"Yeah or so she said. I could not stop staring at her so I asked her if we'd met before and she said no. She was nice at first but then she started asking all these questions. She asked if I was having man troubles. Then…then she called me by name."

Peyton shuddered involuntarily.

"How'd she know your name?"

"She said she saw it on my luggage tag but I got the feeling it was more than that. Then she started saying stuff that she couldn't have known about me, like that I made mistakes but if I went to my husband and worked it out, we could have one last chance. Finally I asked her who she was and she said that if I didn't fix things and make them right, that I would see her again…in six or seven years. And on her back was this tattoo…it said, it said, Fate Is What We Make. I remembered that because that's what was in Nathan's farewell letter. God, it was too creepy for words and I just wanted to get the hell out of there but before I did, I saw her nametag. It…oh gosh, Pey. Her, her…her name was Megan."

"Get the fuck out of here!"

"I'm serious. I am not making this up and I know I didn't imagine it. I swear to God. It happened, Peyton. You must think I'm insane but it was her. It was Megan, the girl from my dream. And it's like she knew everything."

"Haley…"

"Before you buzz the nurse to have me committed to the psych ward…"

"I don't think you're crazy, Haley", Peyton said.

"You don't?"

"No. No, I believe you."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

Haley was relieved. Finally someone understood.

"Then what do you think it all means? What was the point of that dream?"

"I don't think it was a dream?"

Haley's eyes narrowed.

"You don't? What…"

"Technically it may have been a dream but I think it was more than that. Have you ever heard of out of body experiences?"

"You mean like people on an operating table and their heart stops and they see beautiful flowers and they walk towards the light?"

"Well, yeah. Look, I've done some research on the topic. An out of body experience is simply a personal experience when people feel as if they are perceiving the physical world from a location outside of their physical body. What happened to you is exactly what it seems. Your human conscious separated from your body and traveled in a discorporate form in the physical world."

"So I had a hallucination?"

"Basically. It was a dream but not really. It was more than that. It was sort of a glimpse into the future."

"You think it's real?"

"Yeah just look at the things that turned out to be true and that are happening now…Deb's addiction, Keith and Jules…Megan."

"I know she was there and I know what she said. It was real, Peyton but it seemed so weird, it was almost like encountering a ghost or something."

Peyton shook her head.

"It wasn't a ghost. Remember that movie we saw last year with Ashton Kutcher? The Butterfly Effect?"

"Yeah."

"That whole movie was based on some paper this guy wrote in the 1960's about the Chaos theory. I think that's what is happening to you."

"What do you mean?"

"Everybody has moments in their lives they wish they could change. But we don't get the chance? What if this is yours Haley? I think that's what all this means. For whatever unexplained reason, you've been given a chance. You've seen the future and you have the power to change it."

"Like right now if I get back on that bus, you think it will all happen?"

"Yeah. Megan, the tsunami, Yoanna and Lillian…everything."

"And if I stay?"

"Then it doesn't happen."

Haley couldn't believe they were having the conversation. It was surreal and fascinating and frightening all at the same time.

"Peyton, this is nuts…"

"But you know what the cool thing is out of all of this? Nathan is your soul mate. I think that's what the dream proved. No matter what, you two are destined to be together. It's like you can either stay and be normal and have everything together now, or you can go live your life like in the dream and go through all the heartache and the drama and then you still end up together. The ending will be the same…it's just up to you how you get there."

Haley sighed as she looked over at the still sleeping Nathan.

"The Butterfly Effect tagline was, 'Change one thing, change everything'. If I stay does that mean Lillian will never exist? Does it mean you and Jake won't be together with Jenny? Or that Tim won't be in law school or that Lucas won't propose to Brooke or…"

"I don't know, Haley. I don't know."

Haley put her head in her hands.

"What do I do, Pey?"

"I can't make that decision for you. I think it's sweet that you're concerned about everyone else but you have to think of yourself…and your husband. It's up to you, Haley. From now on it's all up to you."


	206. The Other Side of the Fence

**_Author's Note: Anyone else confused yet? LOL..._**

"_Haley! Haley! Haley!"_

_Nathan tossed and turned in the bed. He'd just had the weirdest dream…ever. Dan had married Karen instead of Deb. He had been the good son and Lucas the bad one. He had grown up under privileged with his single mother who barely kept Deb's Den afloat. After years of a rivalry it had come down to a game of one on one at the River Court that pitted Scott against Scott. The prize? The final coveted spot at High Fliers basketball camp._

_It was all on the line with the whole town watching. And Nathan had come through sinking the final shot for the win. He did it for himself, for his mom, and for everything he had been previously denied. Everyone was stunned._

"_Looks like Nathan's going to High Fliers after all", a jubilant Whitey smirked at Dan and Karen._

_Dan didn't move. He couldn't. _

"_It's just a game", Karen shrugged as she walked off._

_Nathan watched them from afar. Lucas walked up to him, extending his hand. It took a minute before a cautious Nathan shook it._

"_Good game", Lucas said. "You deserve to go to that camp."_

"_Thanks", Nathan answered confused that after the tense relationship they had shared that Lucas would be so gracious after his loss._

"_You're gonna be okay…just come back to us soon."_

_Nathan frowned. It didn't make sense. He opened his mouth to speak but his best friend, Haley James, came up to him._

"_They haven't invented words for how much I love you", she smiled, placing in his hand the plastic, colorful bracelet that had gotten from a Cracker Jack box a few mornings before. "Don't say I never gave you anything."_

_He closed his hand watching her walk away. When he opened it, the bracelet was no longer there. It had been replaced by her wedding band._

"_Haley!" Nathan screamed as he looked around. "Haley!"_

He sat straight up. There was a tube in his nose.

"Man, you alright?" Lucas asked as he peered inside.

Nathan brushed his face. It wasn't a tube. It was a…it was a straw.

"What the fuck?"

"Man, wake your ass up!" Lucas laughed. "I've been calling your cell phone all morning. It's almost noon."

"What the…"

Nathan nearly jumped out of his skin as something grabbed his leg from under the covers.

"I got you, Daddy!"

He stared, confused at the little girl with the brown pigtails, one eye blue and one eye brown.

"You put that straw up your daddy's nose?" Lucas laughed. "Good job, Lil. Smart kid."

The five year old giggled and jumped into her uncle's arms. Nathan frowned as he looked around. Nothing looked familiar in the bedroom. Nothing looked familiar except the wedding photo on the mantle. It was of he and Haley on the beach.

"Sorry, man", he rubbed his eyes. "I guess I'm just out of it."

Nathan crawled out of bed in his pajama bottoms and accepted the child who was lunging into his arms. The three of them walked out of the bedroom into the unfamiliar house and down a flight of stairs. There was a neatly but simply decorated living room. Nathan focused his attention on the family photo hanging above the fireplace mantle. He and Haley were smiling and holding two sweet kids, the little girl in his arms and another child smaller than her, a little boy that looked just like him.

"Dude, what are you staring at?" Lucas laughed.

"Huh? Oh…um, nothing, I guess."

Nathan turned around to be greeted by a Boxer dog wearing a red collar and what appeared to be…lipstick. The dog barked furiously at him before licking his bare feet.

"Maddox! Get over here, boy", Haley called out.

Nathan's eyes widened. There she was. Her hair was straightened and lightened and slightly feathered. She looked a little older but she was still beautiful, holding a messy faced toddler in one arm as she chased the dog.

"Hales…"

"You're awake, sleeping beauty", she teased.

She kissed his lips and his eyes widened as the bump of her growing belly brushed against him. Another baby on the way.

"Um…yeah."

"You missed breakfast so is tuna good for lunch? I could heat up one of those sub rolls you like."

"Okay…"

"Good. Jared kiss Daddy", she cooed, walking away as the little boy grinned.

"Uh, what…what are you doing here, man?" he asked Lucas.

"That must have been one hell of a nap. Did you forget we were supposed to work on our bikes today?"

"Bikes?"

Lucas rolled his eyes as his younger brother led him to the garage. Inside were two shiny, new limited edition Suzuki motorcycles.

"Aren't they beauties? I figured we could take them down to the beach if our better halves don't object."

"Brooke let you get a bike?"

Lucas frowned.

"Brooke? What does she have to do with this?"

"You mean…"

"She calls every now and then but she's pretty busy in California."

"California? When did Brooke go to California?"

"Like eight years ago right before senior year. Bro, you sure you're okay?"

Nathan looked at his brother's wedding ring.

"I don't get it…why don't you guys live together?"

Lucas laughed out loud.

"I think Peyton would have something to say about that."

"You married Peyton?"

"Yeah last year. You were there, Best Man. Look, I know the bachelor party was fun but you do remember the wedding, don't you?"

"What about Jake?"

"Jagielski? Haven't heard from him in years. I'd forgotten about him. I hope he's doing okay and he kept Jenny away from that psycho, Nikki."

Nathan looked outside. He did recognize the street.

"Um, this is gonna sound really crazy but we are in Tree Hill…aren't we?"

"Yeah. Nate…you okay? You're starting to freak me out."

Nathan sighed.

"I don't know. Look, I just…I don't know. I don't feel so hot, I guess. My mind is kind of playing tricks on me. I just…I don't know what's going on."

"What do you mean?"

"I had this crazy ass dream last night and I woke up today and my last real memory is me, you, Daytona, Garrett and Coop at the track. I hit the wall and…"

"That was a long time ago, Nate. You okay?"

"No. What happened since then?"

"You're serious?" Lucas asked, his smile fading.

"Yeah."

Lucas shrugged.

"Okay. Brief rundown of 'This Is Your Life'. Like a jackass you tried to kill yourself at the track. You asked me not to call Haley but of course I did. She came back and you guys worked it out. Let's see…Jake got out of jail but Nikki had already taken Jenny and run and no one's heard from any of them since. We started senior year and Brooke went to California that summer with her parents and ended up staying. Peyton was depressed over Jake and I was bummed because I never told Brooke how I felt but that's what brought Pey and me closer. Your parents divorced, Dan got Andy deported, Keith came back and ended up with my mom."

"What about my mom?"

"Okay dude, you must have amnesia if you don't remember Brandon."

"Brandon?"

"Yeah the guy that Deb is dating now, the one that graduated Tree Hill High when we were freshman?"

Nathan made a face. There was something slightly gross about his mother seeing someone around his age.

"No, I don't remember but remind me later so I can beat on the kid", he huffed. "I'm afraid to ask about Dad…"

"Let's just say Erica Marsh could be our new stepmother any day now."

Nathan shuddered.

"That's just sick. I'm glad Mom and Dad split up but damn, did they both have to rob the cradle?"

Lucas just laughed.

"And that's about it. I co own the Body Shop with Keith and we opened up a second location. Peyton does freelance graphic designing and she's an editor for THUD magazine and we're married."

"So me and Hales made it? After Chris and the tour and everything?"

"Yeah. I guess it was meant to be. It all worked out. You played a little ball for Tree Hill University and Hales got pregnant with Lillian our sophomore year. Jared is two and in four months I'll have another niece or nephew to spoil."

"What do we do? I mean for jobs. Me and Hales…"

Lucas rolled his eyes.

"I seriously think you're pulling my leg here but I'll take the bait. You're the athletic trainer for the University and Haley is partnered with Mom and Deb in the café and the club."

"She still sings?"

"If you count being the room mother for Lil's kindergarten class and playing nursery rhymes on the guitar. But other than that, she's retired. I think the reason she left you a long time ago was just to prove she could make it. And she did. Hales is talented. But that's over now."

Nathan sighed.

"So that's it? We're just average joes? No NBA or High Fliers or touring with the Wreckers and Gavin DeGraw?"

"Sorry", he shrugged.

"That…that's weird."

"I don't know. In a way you guys kind of gave up your dreams for each other. It didn't turn out so bad though. You and Hales have made a great life together."

"We have?"

"Sure."

"And everything is okay? The kids are okay?"

"Lillian and Jared…man, they're so cool. They're great. Happy and healthy, everything has been great since Lil's bone marrow transplant."

"Bone marrow?"

"Dan was the donor. But she was a baby then and she's as healthy as a horse now."

"And what about you? And Peyton? Are you happy? I mean, you were so in love with Brooke and she was really into Jake. What if..."

"Let me guess, I was supposed to be with Brooke and Pey was supposed to end up with Jake and we're only together now because we basically had to settle because we missed out on the true loves of our lives?"

"Uh...well, yeah."

Lucas smiled.

"Interesting theory. I know a lot of people thought it. Maybe it was true at first. But it doesn't matter now. We're married and this is our life and that's just the way it is. It's cool."

Nathan sighed. It was a lot to take in.

"Luke, one more thing…are we happy? I mean, really happy? Haley and me, you and Peyton?"

"Yeah", he nodded. "I think we are."

Nathan just nodded.

"Nate! Luke! Lunch is ready!" Haley called out.

The men made their way back into the house.

"Thanks", Nathan said as he saw the plates set, his usual side of pickle neatly on a napkin.

"You're welcome…babe, you sure you're okay? You're acting strange…"

"I'm fine. I guess I just slept too much. But I'm okay."

"Good", she smiled. "After the beach, remember you promised to take Lillian to the mall to get her doll. It's her reward for getting all her ABC's written out correctly. You promised."

"Oh yeah…I guess I did."

She kissed him.

"You sure everything is alright?"

Nathan looked around. He looked at the dog barking at the squirrel outside the window. He looked at Lucas goofing around with two beautiful children. And he looked into the pair of brown eyes he had adored for what seemed like forever.

"I'm good. Hales, one more thing?"

"Yeah, babe", she asked.

He held her closer to him than he ever had before.

"Nothing…just I love you."


	207. Awakenings

"Haley! Haley…"

Lucas stood from his chair and walked over to his brother. It had happened. Nathan had finally woken up.

"Nate…hey, it's me. Don't worry. It's okay. It's me."

"Luke…"

Lucas smiled.

"Welcome back, little brother."

Nathan swallowed hard and tried to adjust his eyes to the light.

"Luke…"

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I hit a brick wall", Nathan answered honestly.

Lucas laughed and shook his head.

"Well, the doc says you're going to be fine."

The younger Scott sighed heavily.

"Oh man…"

Lucas watched him groan and squint in pain as he carefully approached asking the question that had been gnawing at him for days.

"Nate…what was this anyway? Some sort of messed up…anything Lucas can do, I can do better?"

"No…but you want to hear something really crazy? I thought I died and went to Heaven."

"No kidding?"

"Only Heaven was a place where Dan chose your mom over mine. And Haley was tone deaf. But I guess it was just a dream", he sighed. "I did kick your ass in one on one."

"Then it really must have been a dream", Lucas joked.

Nathan tried to laugh too but his chest hurt too much.

"Dude, can you get me some water?"

Lucas nodded as he poured the liquid into a plastic cup. He watched Nathan swallow it as he contemplated what to tell him next.

"Look, I know you asked me not to but…"

"Lucas, you want to get something to eat? I'll sit here until you get back…"

Nathan's eyes focused on the door and who was standing at it. It was his wife. His estranged wife. There was Haley.

"Thanks a lot, man", he muttered, angry that his brother had went against his wishes and notified her anyway.

"I had to call her, man. I'm sorry. Haley is your wife and she loves you. She needed to know."

"Nathan…oh my God…you're awake", she said, on the verge of collapse from sheer relief alone.

Lucas stood.

"Um, I'll let you two talk…"

He left without another word, Haley taking his place in the chair by the bed.

"Thank God, you're awake. I was so scared, Nathan."

"I'm gonna be okay."

"Well, I'm glad."

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

Haley's eyes widened.

"Why would I not be here for you, Nathan? You're still my husband and I do love you. When Lucas called I went out of my mind with worry. I had to be here with you, okay?"

He looked away. He wanted to look anywhere but in her eyes.

"Actually…no. It's not okay. You shouldn't have come, Haley."

"Nathan, I had to come."

"No. No, you didn't."

"Nathan…"

"You didn't have to come home…and I didn't want you here."

There. He'd said it and his words stung like a knife piercing through his heart.

"Nathan…you, you don't mean that."

"Yes, I do."

"But you said you wanted us to be together no matter what just a few days ago when you came to see me. You…"

"And you had nothing to say except that everything between us had happened too fast."

"I know. It did. And I was scared…still am but I do love you. That's the one thing that will never change. I'm supposed to be here by your side."

"Why?" he asked. "Why now? Because you feel guilty? Because you feel sorry for me?"

"No. I…"

Nathan shook his head.

"This isn't working. We can't keep doing this to each other."

A tear slid down her face.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?"

He closed his eyes.

"I love you too, Haley but maybe love isn't enough."

"Nathan…

"Just go", he turned away. "Please. Just leave."

He didn't want her there. She was reaching out but it was too late. He was pulling further and further away.

"Nathan…"

No answer. If he was trying to hurt her, he had well exceeded his goal. With water pouring from her eyes, she fled the room, running smack dab into Dan Scott. He took one look at her disheveled state and smirked.

"I see my son must be awake", he observed, just as gleeful that Haley was so upset, if not more.

He entered the room and Haley ran into an empty corridor a few feet away. There, alone, she could break down and sob. But she wasn't alone. Not completely.

"Haley…are you okay? What happened?"

She slid to the floor and rested her head on her knees, still sobbing.

"Nathan's awake", she managed to get out.

"Thank God", Deb sighed. "I need to see him."

"Mr. Scott is with him now."

Deb gave her a sympathetic look.

"Why are you in tears? Nathan or Dan?"

Haley wiped her eyes.

"He hates me. He…he doesn't want to see me. He doesn't want me here. And I don't blame him."

"He's just upset. Give him time."

Haley shook her head.

"It's over…"

"You…you hurt my son very much by leaving", Deb began, biting her lip.

"Look, Mrs. Scott, I know that already. And I don't need you here rubbing it in."

"That isn't my intention, Haley. I know we've had our differences and I may not agree with the decisions you have made but I know despite everything, deep down you love my son. That's something we'll always have in common."

Haley looked up as Deb handed her a Kleenex.

"What am I going to do?"

"Stick around…at least for now. Nathan has been through a lot and he's very confused. Maybe things will simmer down in the next few days."

"Maybe…"

It was Haley's turn to be confused. Deb hadn't been that nice to her in a long time.

"I'm going to go and check on Nathan. I don't know if he'll be too happy to see me either. But when I'm done, maybe you and I could go to the cafeteria, if you want. It isn't much food wise, but it could give us the chance to talk."

Haley nodded. The comfort had come from an odd place but she was willing to accept it.

"Okay."

Deb gave her the closest thing to a smile.

"Just order for me. I should be up shortly."

"What would you like?" Haley asked an almost familiar question. "Turkey or ham?"

Deb just winked.

"The decision is yours."


	208. It Will Never End

Haley took a final deep breath as she marched up to the door. She gathered her courage before opening it. She prayed she looked tougher than she felt on the inside.

Nathan raised his head and saw her. He rolled his eyes and cursed under his breath.

"What are you doing here?"

"I told you already."

"I don't want you here."

"Well tough shit because I'm not leaving", she folded her arms defiantly.

"Haley, I mean it. You may as well just go back to the tour. There's nothing for you in this town anymore."

"You're here."

"Whatever", he mumbled.

"I'm not going anywhere, Nathan. So unless you plan on calling security or hobbling out of that bed yourself, we're stuck together."

He rolled his eyes. She had a point. He obviously wasn't going anywhere. Hell, he couldn't even roll over on his own.

"This is stupid…"

"The way you're acting? I'd say so."

"Go back to your tour."

"No."

"Look, I'm fine, okay? Or at least I'm gonna be. You came, you saw, you showed your face and did your wifely duties. The show is over now, Hales. You can go back to doing what you want to do."

"It's not like that. You just don't understand."

"But I do, Haley. I do understand. I understand that you're going for your dream. That's what you should do. That's how it should be. And as soon as this is over, I'm gonna go for my dreams."

"Dreams are great but most of the time they're not nearly as important as what is standing right in front of you."

"We have to. We have to go for our dreams because if we don't, we're just going to end up resenting each other later."

"How do you know that?" she asked softly.

Nathan chuckled in spite of himself.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Yeah? Try me."

"I…I had this dream. Two of them actually. I guess the first happened when I was on the operating table. It was like I had switched places with where Luke used to be. Dad chose Karen instead of my mom. I was poor and balling on the River Court while Lucas had everything handed to him. We ended up competing for the High Fliers spot."

"Did you win?"

He smiled faintly.

"Yeah."

"Was Lucas a jerk?"

"Before I beat him? Yeah. He was sort of like the guy I used to be. But everyone was there. Karen owned a bunch of upscale cafes and she was having an affair with Keith. Luke and Peyton were together and you…well, you were my best friend. You, um, you worked at Deb's Den, my mom's place and uh, you were tone deaf."

Haley's heart was heavy.

"Then what happened?"

"I don't know. It just showed how it could have been different. It ended with you giving me back that Cracker Jack bracelet but when I looked at it, it was your wedding ring."

"Then what?"

He shrugged.

"I woke up…or at least I thought I did. But when I woke up, I wasn't here. I was in a bed in a house. And you were there. We were older and everything was different. Jake and Jenny were gone and Brooke was gone. Peyton and Lucas got married. My parents were divorced. Keith and Karen got together. It was so weird but it was so real at the same time. We, we had kids and everything. A boy and a girl and you were pregnant again. The boy looked like me and the girl…she had one blue eye and one brown."

Haley felt her heart skip a beat.

"Her name was Lillian", she finished.

"What? How'd you know that."

She looked right at him.

"Lucky guess."

"Anyway, it was right after this accident and you came back home. We made up and that was our life and everyone else's around us."

"Were we happy?"

"Yeah…I guess."

"Then what's so bad about that?"

"It wasn't. I mean, we had a family and we loved each other and things were good but you were working with my mom and Karen and I was a trainer at the University. Everything was boring and normal, I guess. It's like we gave up our dreams to be together. I know that sounds weird but…"

"It's okay. It makes all the sense in the world."

"None of this makes sense."

"I love you, Nathan. I love you more than anything. I want to be with you. I've made a lot of mistakes. Kissing Chris was one of them and I am so sorry for that. I promise you it never happened again between us. I know that really hurt you. And I know my leaving hurt you. My reason, my intentions were good and pure but maybe the way I did it was wrong. I apologize for that. I never wanted anything to come between us…ever. Now I'm still confused and I'm still scared but I know now more than ever that I love you with all my heart. We have decisions to make Nathan and we need to make them together. I need to know where you stand, how you feel. I have to know if we can make this work, if it's worth it…or if it's even what you want anymore."

"I don't know", he whispered.

"I had a crazy dream too one night. I dreamt about what it would be like if this is the end for us."

"What happened?"

She looked away.

"That's the thing…it will never end, Nathan."

"I love you, Haley. I do. I want to spend my life with you…that's why I married you. I still want that but it has to be right. We have to both want it and want it for all the right reasons. If not, then it isn't worth it. That's how I feel. That's where I stand. The rest is up to you but you need to make a choice. No flip flopping. Because the decision you make today…will affect the rest of our lives."

She looked right in his blue eyes. He was right. God, if he only knew just how right he was.

"I know that", she said.

She took his hand in hers. He didn't pull away but he didn't exactly reciprocate her affection.

"Haley…"

"Listen to me. Please. Nathan, just hear me out. You are the love of my life. You're my heart and soul. You are the very air that I breathe. Nothing and no one will ever change that. No matter what happens or where we go or what we do, you will always live on inside my heart every single day."

He looked at her with almost quiet understanding.

"I love you, too", he finally whispered.

She bent down and kissed his forehead, letting her lips linger as long as possible.

"I'm gonna go get something to eat. You'll be okay here?"

Nathan nodded.

"I'm fine."

She smiled, standing at the door just looking into the set of blue eyes that had always made her melt.

"Love you", she said again.

"Love you too", he returned softly.

Their time together from the minute he cockily sauntered into the room demanding that he tutor her to the second she got on that bus with Chris, Jessica, and Michelle flashed before her eyes. Haley smiled.

"I'll be seeing you", she said.


	209. Black and White, No Grey In The Middle

The cool tunes of Modest Mouse blared in the background as Peyton stared up at the ceiling. Lying flat on her back on her bed, she sighed. Glancing over at the corner were the few reminders left of a once happy existence. The tie Jake had worn to Keith and Jules' almost wedding. It was the same tie she had hastily pulled off of him along with the rest of his clothing that afternoon they had finally succumbed to passion and made love for the first time.

She smiled at the memory. It had been so beautiful…so right…so perfect. Peyton closed her eyes and she could still smell him, still see him…still feel him. But in the blink of an eye it was all gone and the only tangible items left were the baby bed and carrier left behind from Jenny. She sighed. Sometimes the silence and the loneliness were too much.

"Knock, knock", said the soft voice.

Peyton lifted her head.

"Haley…"

"I tried the bell but no one answered. The front door was unlocked…"

"It always is."

Haley smiled.

"I know. I just needed to see you. You got a minute?"

"For you? Sure", the blonde said, sitting up and patting the space next to her.

Haley took a seat.

"Nathan's awake", she said calmly.

Peyton's eyes grew as large as saucers.

"He is? Oh thank God! Haley, that's great!"

"Yeah…"

"Did you guys get a chance to talk?"

"Yeah we did."

"How'd it go?"

Haley ran her fingers through her hair.

"Let's just say he was less than pleased to see me."

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. I was kind of expecting it. Anyway, I finally got the chance to talk to him."

"And? You guys okay?"

"I don't know. He told me to go on tour. He says I should follow my dreams, that we both should. I guess after he heals, he's going to try to go to High Fliers. But he says it's something we both have to do or else we'll just regret it later and end up resenting each other."

"You think that's true?"

Haley shrugged.

"I don't know. I'd like to think that isn't true. I'd like to think our love is more important than any dream but I'd be a hypocrite if I said that. I was the one who left for a dream in the first place."

"So what now?"

"Pey, I know what happens."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember how you said that if I stay on tour everything that happened in my dream will really happen?"

"Yeah."

"Well I know what happens if I stay."

"How?" Peyton asked, more curious than ever.

"Nathan had a dream or an out of body experience or whatever the hell it is. He told me about it."

"What did he say happens?"

"We're together. In the future we have this totally normal life here in Tree Hill with two kids and a third on the way and the house and the dog."

"So you mean, no matter what, you and Nathan will be together no matter what?"

"Yes. If I stay now, our life goes on just like in his dream. If I go, everything will happen as it did in my dream."

"You'll always be together. Nathan and Haley were always meant to be in the end. The question is, how do you get there? Do you stay now, both of you give up your dreams and be together and normal? Or do you go back to the tour, go through all the angst and years of separation and then end up together?"

"Regardless, we will always have each other and we'll always have Lillian."

"Wow."

"There's more though…about his dream. You know how in mine you and Jake were together and happy here with Jenny? You co own the club with Jules and she and Keith are together, Luke is in the NBA and he and Brooke get engaged and Karen has the café and Andy and Deb has Dan, unfortunately and the café and all that…"

"Yeah…"

"It changes, Peyton. If I leave, the dynamics all change. Jules never comes back. Dan runs Andy out of the country. Keith and Karen end up together. Dan and Deb get divorced."

"You were right. Change one thing, change everything. The choice you makes affects everyone's lives around you."

"There's more…"

"What?"

"Peyton, if I stay…Jake and Jenny don't come back."

Peyton swallowed hard.

"Oh."

"Brooke goes to California and stays. You and Lucas find comfort in each other and you end up married."

"Oh my God…"

"I know."

Peyton cleared her throat.

"What did Nathan have to say about your dream?"

Haley looked away.

"He, he doesn't know. I…I didn't tell him."

Peyton nodded.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Honestly? I don't know. If I go, the good thing is, I still get Nathan and Lillian. We both get to experience our dreams. Those are the pros."

"And the cons?"

"Being apart for seven years. The tsunami. The drama and heartache we'll go through to find happiness."

"The pros of staying?"

Haley smiled.

"Being with Nathan. Having a family. Normalcy, comfort…security, happiness."

"Cons?"

Haley sighed.

"I know we'd be happy but…it's weird. In a way, it's almost like settling. I never have the music and Nathan never has the basketball. We both know how much he loves basketball. Karen and Keith lose Andy and Jules so they kind of settle with each other. And the same thing with you and Lucas. In a way, Nathan and I ssettle too. And who's to say what kind of person he will be? Will resentment and regret make him another Dan? Or will he become just a shell?"

"I don't know, Haley."

"I don't either. I hate to say it but I think Megan made him a better person. I think experiencing everything he did in a roundabout way was good for Nathan. Peyton, I have no idea what to do."

"The choice is yours. It's a huge decision but it's all you. As insane as it is, it makes sense right now. Remember 'turkey or ham' from the hospital with Deb and in the diner? You had no other choice. Not tuna or chicken salad or peanut butter and jelly. It was turkey or ham, either or. There's no medium, Haley. Either you stay, sacrifice and possibly settle or you go for it, live your dreams, then go through hell and back to be together again. You can't have both and you can't make your own destiny. Two destinies have been laid out and you have to choose one. It's almost a catch 22."

"Fate is what we make…just like Megan said."

"This is unbelievable."

"You have no idea…"

"Just think about it, okay? Promise me that, Haley. And look…I know you care about me and Lucas and everyone else but you can't base your decision on us. This has to be for you and Nathan…even more for you."

"I know but I want you to be happy. I will always have my true love but it's up to me whether a bunch of other people I love get cheated out of theirs."

"Don't think of it that way."

Haley sighed, nodding and looking away.

"I need to think about everything. I guess I need to be alone…"

"Okay."

"I'm gonna get going but thanks for everything, Peyton. I mean it. I appreciate you understanding and just being there for me."

"Anytime, kid", the curly one winked.

Haley reached out and the two friends embraced.

"No matter what I choose, I love you, Peyton…and I'll always be here for you. Just please remember that."

Peyton nodded and managed to smile as Haley stood and headed towards the door. She gave a final wave and then she was gone. Peyton watched as her friend left, holding the power of a choice that could and would dictate everybody's life forever.

"I know", she took a deep breath. "Haley, I know."


	210. A Beginning, A Middle and the End

Lucas grunted as he went for the basket. It was an easy enough layup but he missed it. He cursed out loud as he played by himself on Dan Scott's private court. He threw the ball from what had to be thirty feet away. It didn't even touch the rim but it never hit the pavement either. Lucas looked up.

"Don't quit your day job."

Lucas smiled.

"Anybody ever tell you that you catch like a girl?"

Haley grinned as she threw the ball back to him.

"Anybody ever tell you that you throw like one?"

Lucas walked up to her and gave her a great big hug. They walked over and took seats on the expensive patio furniture.

"How's it going, Buddy?"

Haley sighed with a tired smile.

"It's going", she shrugged. "How about you?"

"I can't complain. You see Nathan today?"

Haley shook her head.

"Not yet. What about you?"

"Yeah. He's a little sore but uh…it could have been a whole lot worse."

"I know."

"You two get a chance to talk?"

Haley nodded.

"Yeah but…it's complicated as usual. I don't know."

"Look, Hales, I know this is tough and I know it's something that won't resolve itself or be over and done with overnight. I don't mean to pressure you but I just hope it all works out. You and Nathan love each other. You belong together."

"I know. Despite everything that has happened and what might happen in the future, I have and always will love Nathan."

"I always knew how you felt about him. I remember the first time you told me that you loved him that night after the Boytoy auction at school."

Haley smiled at the memory.

"That was the first time you saw my tattoo. You were so pissed."

"I was because I didn't understand it back then…any of it. But the more you talked to me about it and the more time I spent getting to know Nathan in the gym, the more it started to make sense. Then it just clicked for me that day in the apartment when I came to say good bye. Keith and I were heading out for a new life in Charleston but the surprise was on us. You and Nate got married. I couldn't believe it. It threw me for a loop but when you told me…that look on your face and that little giggle you did and the way you guys looked at each other…I just knew it was for real. And I was happy for you, for the both of you. I wasn't there when you said the vows but I was there for the reception. It's a beautiful thing to see two people that happy and that in love. And now you're a part from each other and it's just a shame, Hales."

Haley looked away.

"I know we haven't talked much since I left and I never really explained some stuff but you have to know that none of this was about Chris."

"Then what's it about?"

"Honestly? Me…the music."

Lucas nodded knowingly.

"But you have to know Haley that it…well, it looks bad."

"I know he comes off as a jerk but he isn't so bad. And Chris has helped me so much. But there's nothing going on. I do love Nathan. Chris is more like a really protective, smart, annoying big brother", she smiled. "It's innocent. He is to me like…I don't know, like…"

"Like what I used to be?" Lucas dared to say.

"Yeah", Haley whispered. "I guess."

"You know, it's funny. I go to the café and I expect you to be there. The phone rings and I want it to be you. I'm in class and I keep waiting for you to show up and sit in that empty seat next to me. All this stuff with Chris and the music and even Nathan is still so new to me. Not so long ago it was just us, Haley."

"I know it's rough. Everything, all of this happened so quickly. It's been hard for me too adjusting to change after change."

"Are you happy?" he asked, looking her dead in the eyes.

Haley thought for a minute.

"Sometimes I am…and sometimes I'm not. I feel like I have a split personality. There's Tutor Girl, the klutz that is your best friend and works at the café, then there's Haley Scott, the suddenly new popular chick who just so happens to be married to the most popular guy in the eleventh grade. Then there's Haley, the rock star who tours with the Wreckers, eats lunch with Gavin DeGraw and signs autographs after concerts. It's hard to believe sometimes that that's the same person and that person is me. It's three completely different worlds and it all happened so fast…too fast. Each one has its good points and its bad points but lately I've been looking in the mirror and I see a stranger staring back at me."

"Somehow I can kind of relate."

"What about you, Luke? Are you happy?"

He shrugged.

"Trying to be. Trying to be a better person in general. Trying to enjoy this new relationship with Nathan. Trying to make sense out of who Dan Scott really is…"

"I'm talking about you. You've always been the one to take care of everyone else. What about you? What about your heart?"

He smiled.

"Would you believe me if I told you it was in limbo?"

"Brooke?"

"I'm that easy to read, huh?"

"Only because I know you better than myself", she sighed. "You're in love with her, aren't you?"

Lucas nodded.

"It's weird. Last year I didn't know her at all. The we hooked up and at first it was all fun and games. Before I knew it I was her boyfriend but I thought I was in love with Peyton. I ended up really hurting her and it's taken so much for us to be where we are right now and that's real friends. I don't want to blow it but now I can't imagine life without her. It took seeing you and Nate and her being with Felix and me being with Anna and all this to realize that I do love her."

"And Peyton?"

"Peyton is great. You know that. I think we'll always have that special connection but she belongs with Jake."

"You believe in that? You think it's possible that Nathan and I are destined to be together and so are you and Brooke and Peyton and Jake?"

"I think the story is written at the beginning and set up for what should be the end. But it's up to us to live the middle and in doing that it might change what was supposed to be the end. Make sense?"

She looked at him.

"In a way it does", she said softly. "I just want us to be happy…all of us."

"I know. Me too but sometimes it just isn't in the cards."

"What if you had the power to make it happen? What if you had the power to secure the ending? Would you take it?"

"Without a doubt."

"Even if there was a bunch of heartache in the middle, a huge storm before the happy ending?"

"Anything in life worth having almost never comes easy, Hales. That's just the way it is. Besides, what doesn't kill us does make us stronger. You live and learn and life is about taking risks sometimes."

She just looked at him, her brooding, handsome, philosophical best friend, wise beyond his teenage years.

"You're right", she answered. "You're absolutely right. Listen, Luke, I have to go…"

"Okay", he said, bouncing the ball. "Me too. I'm just gonna head in and shower and then I'm gonna get back to the hospital."

"Okay."

"I guess I'll see you later then…"

She reached over and hugged him tight, tighter than she ever had, almost refusing to let go.

"You'll see me again", she looked in his blue eyes. "That you can count on."


	211. The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

"Hey man, did you get enough to eat?" Lucas asked.

Nathan sighed and nodded, still in a small amount of pain.

"I'm fine."

Brooke removed the dinner tray from across Nathan's bed. Lucas examined the contents. He frowned.

"Nate, you didn't eat all your jello…"

Nathan smiled in spite of himself.

"Well, call the Food Police."

Peyton and Brooke giggled.

"I'm being serious. You need to eat, bro. You need your strength. The doctors say you need to eat a well balanced diet…"

"What is this? A bad episode of Sesame Street? Dude, I'm fine. Really. I don't need a lecture about the four food groups."

Lucas scoffed.

"Fine. I'm just trying to help."

"I appreciate it but I'm okay. I don't need you doing everything for me."

"I'm not", Lucas said, protesting even as he was fluffing his younger brother's pillow.

Everyone began to laugh, even Lucas.

"After you tuck me in, are you gonna read me a bedtime story, too?" Nathan joked with a twinkle in his hand.

"And sing you a lullaby too, if you're good", Lucas winked as he returned to his chair at the foot of the bed, with the girls on either side.

"You know you love the attention, Superstar", Brooke grinned. "It'll be nice to have your own private caretaker when you get home and who knows, Broody might look kind of cute in a nurse's uniform."

Nathan rolled his eyes.

"I don't even know if I'm gonna have an apartment to go home to when I get out of this place. I'm sure the landlord isn't too happy with me."

Lucas winced.

"Yeah there is a notice to pay rent or get out on the door. I just didn't want to bug you with it now."

"Great", Nathan sighed.

"Don't worry, bro. Just focus on getting better. We'll figure something out."

"Thanks, man."

Brooke smiled.

"See? You two are way cute! I totally dig this whole brotherly love thing. It's sweet. Now you'll have Lucas and your mom to take care of you when you get out."

Nathan's smile faded.

"About my mom…"

"Is everything okay?"

"No", he looked away. "Hell, you guys are gonna find out anyway so I may as well tell you. My dad shipped her off to rehab. Apparently the last year she's been popping pills like a crack junkie."

Peyton looked up but said nothing.

"I'm sorry, man", Lucas whispered.

"Well, at least she can get better", Brooke offered.

Nathan remained silent, unimpressed.

"Whatever."

"And maybe you and Tutor Wife can work things out."

"I don't know…" Nathan's voice trailed off.

"Has she come by at all today?" Lucas asked.

"No."

"Oh", he said. "I saw her earlier. Um, I'm sure she'll be by any minute now."

"Yeah…" he said.

Lucas looked down at his watch.

"It's getting late. The nurse will probably be kicking us out soon."

"It's cool", Nathan replied. "I'm getting kind of tired anyway."

"Anything you need for us to get you?" Lucas asked.

Nathan shook his head.

"I'm good."

There was a soft knock on the door, then it opened and the friendly nurse peeked her head in.

"Sorry guys. It's that time. You know the rules. Five minutes left until visitor's hours are over."

Lucas stood.

"I'll drop back by first thing in the morning. If you need me before then, just give me a call, alright?"

"It's cool. Thanks, Luke."

"And don't worry about anything. Just try to get some sleep. Everything is going to work itself out."

Nathan nodded as Brooke smoothed his hair. Peyton leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. The door opened again but it was Karen. She was out of breath and not smiling.

"Everything okay, Mom?"

"Lucas, I need to speak with you…outside, please", she said in a hushed but terse tone as she avoided looking at Nathan.

Nathan seemed to read her face and body language. Instantly his heart dropped.

"Ms. Rowe…"

"Nathan…"

He sat up slowly.

"What happened?"

"Nathan, you should get some rest. We'll talk in the morning…"

He shook his head.

"I don't need to rest. What's going on? Something happened…didn't it?"

Karen hung her head almost tearful. She had no idea how to say what she was going to say.

"Nathan, I am so sorry. Haley…Haley, she left."

There was no other way to put it or sugarcoat it. It was what it was. Lucas felt like he might pass out.

"Nate…"

Nathan shrugged.

"It's okay."

"Look, man, I'll try to convince the nurse to let me sit with you a few extra minutes…"

Nathan shook his head.

"It's cool. I'm fine."

He was eerily calm.

"Nate…"

Nathan saw the four sets of eyes staring at him with pity. It made him furious. The last thing he wanted was for them to feel sorry for him. Haley had left. Yeah it hurt but so what? It wasn't like it was the first time. Once again his wife had disappeared without a trace, without even saying good bye, leaving another to break the news. She was going back to her tour. Whether it was for the music or for Chris or whatever, it didn't matter. She was gone.

That little bitch. Sure he had told her to go and he damn sure didn't have to tell her twice. It was like his little bit of prodding was all the "permission" she needed. He had given up everything for her. He had turned his back on his own parents. He had let her in, he had loved and trusted her. She knew what he had gone through and she had given him her word that she would be there for him until eternity. It hadn't even lasted a whole year.

And he had given up High Fliers for her. High Fliers! Because he loved her, because he didn't want to take away from her dreams, because he didn't want to be apart. He had sacrificed because sometimes that's what marriage called for. But not Haley. Haley had their joint best interests in mind. Haley had looked out for Haley.

He took a deep breath. He had told her to go and she had listened. Fine. But that was it. He wasn't operating a revolving door. She had made the choice and now she had to live with it. She could go be with Chris, Michelle, Jessica, Gavin or whoever. He didn't give a shit.

Haley was living her life and it was time for him to go live his. As much as he couldn't stand his father, he needed him. Dan Scott would be too happy to get the ball rolling on an annulment and he had the right connections to reopen the door for another shot at High Fliers. And as far as being the sappy, cheesy, lovable one woman man? Fuck that! What had he been thinking? He was Nathan Scott, number 23. The Nathan Scott. He could have any chick he wanted…and from now on he intended to.

An anger manifested into sheer rage and it boiled deep inside his gut. Haley had been a mistake. The marriage had been a mistake. Love itself had been a mistake. She was just one more disappointment…just like his damned mother.

"Nathan…"

"It's cool", he finally spoke. "Haley made her choice once and for all. Not knowing was the worst…well, now we all know. It's over. I guess it has been for a long time. I'm fine with that so the rest of you may as well wipe the sad looks off your faces. Let her go. She wants to live her life…fine. Now I'm gonna go live mine."

He was calm and icy even. But he had spoken and his mind was made up for the time being. There was no use in even attempting to reason with him. All they could do was file out of the room.

"This is bullshit", Brooke muttered furiously. "I have tried to give her the benefit of the doubt time and time again but it still boils down to the fact that she's just a selfish little witch. I mean, what was the point of even coming back? She should have stayed where she was. And what a shitty thing to do to just leave your husband all broken and bruised in a freaking hospital? I can't believe her!"

Lucas was dejected, near tears. Hadn't it meant anything to her? Seeing Nathan, being home, their talk?

"I can't believe it either", he said softly.

Karen simply put her head in her hands. But Peyton did not react. She said nothing as she hugged everyone good bye and made her way to her car in the parking lot. Haley, after much agonizing had made her decision. There was no right or wrong but a choice had to be made. Knowing what she knew, she had opted for the hard road. Eventually happiness would come but what a roller coaster ride it would be to finally get there.

Peyton cranked the ignition and was surprised to hear the demo of the song When It Comes. Chris Keller had performed it that last night at Tric. Peyton had a bunch of his CDs as they had gone over what sets he would play but she didn't recall having that one…or how it had gotten in her car…or the CD player.

It was almost dark and her mood should have been just as melancholy as the darkening sky but Peyton suddenly felt good inside. Putting on her sunglasses and lowering the top, she cranked the song. A smile came to her lips. Sure there was a storm coming but afterwards, the rainbow would appear…Haley had guaranteed that one.


	212. It Will Come

Haley stared at the blank journal in front of her and the pen in her hand. She relaxed back in the seat and debated about what to write. It was for her eyes only but still she wanted the words to make sense and capture the moment, the very essence of what she was feeling inside.

_Dear Diary,_

_It has been a long journey and the funny thing is I know now it has just begun. Someone once told me the most powerful word in the English dictionary is "choose". The power of a choice. I never understood it then…but I get it now. The decisions we make today affect the rest of our lives. That is true. But the choice I have made affects everyone's lives. It's a hell of a position to be in. I will think about it everyday. God, a person could go crazy thinking about something like this. What is right? What is wrong?_

_Why did I do this? For me? It might seem that way but it's not. Still I can take the heat. I will have to and my reputation will definitely be under the fire from now on. All I ever wanted really was Nathan. Nathan and Lillian. And now I will have them. I guess I always would have had them but I chose not to take the easy road._

_I sacrificed for my friends. Now Jenny gets to have a real life with real parents who love her. She doesn't have to be on the run with Nikki. And Peyton and Jake are soul mates. And Lucas and Brooke. They should be together. This was their destiny. That was the "end" Lucas told me about. The beginning was always there and now history is being written with each passing minute. I control the middle._

_Jake, Peyton and Jenny can be a family. Lucas and Brooke will have their chance to grow up, then rediscover each other. Keith will find Jules and they will work out their differences. Karen and Andy won't have to be apart. Dan and Deb won't divorce. Maybe those two don't get the traditional happy ending but deep down, I think she knows. Dan Scott will never change. He's the same person he has always been and always will be. It's up to her. The power to change it all, the power to leave has always been there and it lies in her hands. But in an odd way, she is where she wants to be. Sadly, it's all Deb knows._

_I take a deep breath and try to imagine that soon my wildest dreams will come true. I always wanted more than mornings belting out tunes in the shower and nights singing at Tric. I always wondered if there was more out there for me. Now I know. And not only do I know, I have the opportunity to express my art and let my passion and talent take me to places I have only been in dreams. _

_This is my shot. Most people only dream of a chance like this. Now hopes and dreams will become my reality. I've done it. It all comes down to these next few moments._

_But I didn't just do it for me or for the people I care about. I did this most for Nathan. As much as he loves me and as much as I may have changed him, right now he's still that 16 year old kid. He needs to live and learn and experience. Only that will shape him into the man he is destined to become. He can't do that with me…so I have to let him go in order to do it without me._

_Peyton was right. All along it was turkey or ham, black or white, north or south. I only had two options. It never would have worked with us staying together and pursuing our own dreams. We would have hindered each other. As selfish as it may sound, I don't know if I'd be mature enough to be there while he went for High Fliers or a career in college and the NBA. And no matter what he says, there is no way he could have handled the music with me. He'd always be jealous of Chris and it would be impossible with the tours and the fans and the long recording sessions. It just wouldn't work._

_Nathan and I are destined to be together but only after we take care of ourselves first. Time, experience and maturity will make us become the people we have and need to be. He might not understand now, I am sure the cycle of the downward spiral has already begun and his anger towards me is slowly manifesting itself into hate. He might not get it now but one day, one day he will._

_I'm sure at one time or another we've all wanted to see our futures clearly. What will happen? Now I know everything and I must keep everything the same to ensure the ending. I will wait for annulment papers and send them to my lawyer, knowing they won't make it to North Carolina in time. I must face the music when Nathan finds out. I must face Megan again. I must prepare myself for the mental and physical challenge when the wave hits, knowing all along what was going to happen when I suggest a Dominican divorce. The wedding, Yoanna, Lillian, Chris, Taylor…all of it is pre destined to happen. I just have to make sure it did happen._

_This is crazy and confusing and scary at the same time. I feel that I did the right thing though I'll probably second guess myself every day. But it will all be worth it that morning in eight years when I wake up in the St. Francis hotel. It won't be a dream then. I'll be in Nathan's arms and it will be our time and we can be a family again. Knowing how beautiful that will be will sustain me for these years that are to come._

_I never wanted this and I never asked for this but often that's how it happens in life. We are dealt a hand and we must play those cards to the best of our ability. I can only hope I played the smartest game possible but then again…only time will tell._

_30 April 2005_

_Haley James (Scott)_

Sighing, she closed the book and in doing so, closed the door on an important chapter of her life.

"You mind if I play my guitar?"

Haley smiled.

"Since when did you ask my permission for anything?"

Chris gave her a side glance.

"Since you woke up in Alabama acting like a crazy woman. Now I'm all afraid you're gonna spazz out again and chop me up into a zillion pieces or something."

She grinned.

"Officially? No but unofficially, you better watch your back."

"I'm sleeping with one eye open", he warned as he began to strum.

"Smart move, Keller."

"Seriously though…I'm glad you came back. This is your dream. Most people don't even get one shot. We've earned an opportunity, now it's up to us to turn it into gold."

"I know."

"I'm just sorry about everything that happened with Nathan and all…"

"Chris…"

"I hate getting all sappy on you because that ain't my normal way but I know this wasn't easy for you."

"No, it wasn't."

"I'm your friend and I have your back…always. I just want you to know that, Haley."

"I do", she smiled.

"Maybe you two can work it all out in the midst of those Grammys and headlining tours you were babbling about", he joked.

"Maybe."

"After all", he said. "No one really knows what the future actually holds."

It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him everything but she decided not to. Eventually it would all come to past and he would see it, every bit of it just like she told him that day in Alabama.

"I guess you're right", she finally looked at him. "No one really does know."

He gave her a shrug and began to sing…

_I started up my hollow  
Piece of wood to follow  
A day that doesn't come to the lucky _

And I realize there's tomorrow  
But I would rather wallow  
In the rain than moods that seem so potlucky

Well I'm cruisin' El Paseo  
In my off-white coupe back '65  
Oh I'm cruisin' down my own street  
And my hoopty says to me  
"You better hang on to your benchseat  
I'm gonna take you for a ride."

And I'll let you know  
When it comes, when it comes  
I'll let you know  
But don't stay up for me  
Don't wait up for me if I'm not home, yeah

Haley smiled as she drifted off to sleep underneath the blanket on the bus. She needed her rest. After all, it would all come down soon enough.


End file.
